Author's Note: I'm back!
*Cricket chirps*
Huh...only two reviews for the recent chapter? Was it because of the timing that I updated it?
AstrisDreams: Thank you. It wouldn't have mad much sense to have the others be oblivious to how Garth and Tula were acting, after all. This is a series that applies logic, so logically speaking, the Team would have been suspicious from the near beginning. Wally does seem to get a bad rap on this site, he is more of an impulsive character, no pun intended.
Black' Victor Cachat: Thanks. It wasn't intentional, however. Though that would mean I am also comfortable with the way she uses her powers, too. XD I know of that comic, but never read it. It was dealing with race issues (like that's new), but we barely got a grasp at the culture. So, I decided to incorporate the Justice League version of their attire with Atlantis: The Lost Empire attire/culture and was pretty nervous about it, overall. I was afraid of enforcing a stereotype on them by doing so.
nonameneeded: If you can read this, I got your review. And...didn't you see the notes at the end of the chapter? I mentioned a Batman: Black and White comic that had Dick dealing with bullies offscreen. Also, Dick NOT fighting at all is just as bad because he puts himself at risk of being seriously hurt by some jackass. Also, he's a teenager, how many teenagers can hold their temper and not try to break something? (I'm looking at you, Superboy!) And Bruce CLEARLY mentioned the identity risk in the middle of the chapter, but Dick pointed out how many things were wrong with that angle.
Also, Dick calling Bruce 'Dad' at the end is justified because he is a better parent in the YJ universe, surprisingly. I normally don't try to view Batman as a good parent because of all the shitty things he puts his partners/sons through, but YJ made him likable even if it was a bit much. He is clearly closer to Dick in the show, playing basketball with him to cheer him up about Aqualad and letting the Team know they did a good job during missions in the middle of lecturing them.
This chapter focuses on "The Team blaming Robin for the simulation going wrong, even though it wasn't really his fault" cliche. Beware, 'tis my longest chapter in this fic yet!
Try and look for movie references in the chapter. Also, there is a mention of We Love Our Two Dads in this. I promised self-bashing and this is as close as it gets for now.
Robin sat on top of a medical table, his head still spinning while his body was trying to adjust from being burnt to a crisp to returning to a relatively unscathed form. He wasn't the only one on a medical table; Artemis was looking at everyone in confusion, Wally was staring at a wall while the Flash tried talking to him, Conner was expressionless, but already up and moving back towards the couch, Kaldur was already grilling Batman for information about what happened, and worst of all, M'gann was breathing heavily like she had just woken up from a nightmare. Surprisingly, Captain Marvel was standing beside her like a loyal pet.
Am I dreaming? He thought. The last thing that Robin recalled was an explosion. That had to be part of a bad dream, right? Except he can remember almost everything about it in perfect detail. It didn't fade away in the back of his mind like other dreams did in the past. It was like looking back at a –
"What happened?" Robin heard himself speak quietly. Somehow, everyone heard him and looked at the boy.
"I was just filling Aqualad in on what you all just experienced." Batman said, his expression unreadable. "Try to remember this morning. What happened?"
Robin frowned and closed his eyes. What happened this morning? Okay, I just got to the Cave and the others were there for training. We were all in uniform and were going to work on sparring in groups of 2, three people per team. That's when we got notified about the invasion…right?
"Try harder." Batman said, as if he knew what was going through Robin's head.
No, wait! Robin's eyes widened as it started coming back to him. Batman and I came here together this morning, something about a test. And the Team was there and so were some of the League…
"We had placed you within a simulation." Martian Manhunter's voice broke the silence. Robin turned his head, looking for where the sound came from when he saw the green Martian in the back, close to the TV area, along with Black Canary. He looked exhausted. Martian Manhunter still continued, Robin noting how weary his voice sounded now. "You had all agreed to this, understanding that nothing that happened there was real."
"We were trying to prepare the Team for a worst-case scenario." Batman added.
"Like the League getting wiped out." Artemis muttered. She sounded uncertain, rather than shaken that way Robin knew he sounded right now. "And if the Team was Earth's only hope."
That's why I didn't freeze up when Batman was vaporized in space! Robin realized. I thought I was just suppressing it until the threat was taken care of.
But how did that explain the reactions later on? Wally's anger and vow of vengeance against the alien menace when they all saw Artemis get vaporized, M'gann sobbing when they fled from the Fortress of Solitude, Robin becoming more aloof while taking on the role as leader – and doing everything in my power not to lose control of myself – and the pain that they all experienced during the simulation. Robin suddenly felt some stinging pain on his shoulder and rubbed the area to try and soothe it. He stretched his shirt down and saw a bruise there, still fresh. There were several cuts as well.
Oh yeah. Robin thought. That was when I landed awkwardly during the bombing plan. Man, that hurt!
"Everything changed when Artemis died." Martian Manhunter said quietly. "Before this occurred, I had been in control of the simulation, using your minds to recreate a world perfectly. And then M'gann took…wretched…control from me and you all forgot that what you were seeing wasn't real."
Robin tuned him out after that. It was fake…all of it was fake…I became leader but it was fake…everyone wasn't killed because of me because it was fake…
He couldn't hear Martian Manhunter speak now, Robin was focusing on how badly his leadership skills were. He didn't hear any mention of how each death helped Manhunter get closer to saving everyone from permanent comas. He didn't hear how M'gann's mental grip on the simulation was so tight that even Manhunter believed that the danger was real when he entered. He didn't hear anything else beyond the fact that everything and everyone he sacrificed was for nothing…
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Robin flinched at Wally's screaming and he doesn't react to it anything beyond the initial flinch, since he knows who Wally is yelling at. But he still refuses to let the Speedster take ahold of him and try and punch him. No one would blame him for throwing Wally to the ground with the grapple Black Canary taught them all two weeks ago, right?
"Wally!" Black Canary and the Flash are in-between Robin and Wally in several seconds – or in the Flash's case, literally in a flash – while the others look on in shock at what happened. Robin can hear M'gann sobbing, wishing he could do something to make her stop, because it's his fault.
"He's the reason we all died!" Wally continued, ignoring the growl of indignation coming from Batman. "Robin can't be trusted, he –"
He suddenly quieted down. Robin wasn't surprised, it didn't take much for the Bat-Glare to get people to shut up. Black Canary looking at him in disapproval definitely helped.
"We just said that the simulation was unbeatable…" Black Canary said coldly. "So, no matter what you would have done, it would have amounted to nothing. What part of that did we fail to mention?"
"BC, it's true…" Robin began, but Batman cut him off.
"Robin, you were trying to be a leader." He said simply. "And leaders have to make sacrifices for the sake of the mission."
"The sake of the mission?!" Artemis said incredulously. "Robin lead us to our deaths!"
Conner looked at her with a gobsmacked look on his face. "What are you smoking?! You weren't even dealing with it like we all were!"
"Why are you defending this traitor?!" Wally yelled. "He used you as bait –"
"ENOUGH!" Kaldur shouted. Wally and Artemis blanched at the tone. Kaldur took a deep breath and looked at both of them with a look of frustration. "Are you suggesting you could have done better? Has it never occurred to either of you that every time I lead you means that you may never come back alive?! What would you have done? Artemis!"
Artemis looked at him more attentively.
"Conner had a point. Out of all of us during the simulation, you were the one who dealt with the danger the least. If what Martian Manhunter says is true, then you were the only one in the Team that wasn't exposed to M'gann's mental prowess. You have no room to argue or protest something that didn't affect you personally."
Robin stared at his leader, wondering why Kaldur was bothering to defend him to begin with. He led their team to their demise!
"I sacrificed myself so that you would all have a chance at stopping the threat. In Atlantis, this leaves the squadron without someone to guide them. What I did was a foolish action. Could someone explain why someone is not made about the risk I took at the cost of the Team losing their commander? I am not following this line of logic and I do not believe it has to do with a clash in different ethics.
"Did Robin make choices that led to more death? Yes. Did he do it simply for the sake of killing you off? I was not there when it occurred, but that does not sound like the Robin I know. What would you have done? Wally."
Kaldur's voice had quieted down and became cold when he said Wally's name. Wally looked like he was going to throw up if he looked directly into Kaldur's eyes.
"Have you ever been in war? Do you at least have a concept of what fighting on a large scale means?"
"I-It means…that…" Wally spoke slowly, the anger from earlier now gone and left behind a less passionate Speedster in its place. "Anyone can die…"
"Exactly." Kaldur nodded calmly, but Robin could see the glare on his face. "Anyone can die in a battle that scale. Sometimes because of an enemy. Sometimes because of a traitor. Sometimes it is simply because the leader had to make a call that they had no other choice to make, even if it meant that it brought their side one step closer to victory. What would you have done? I do not understand how Robin 'betrayed us' in a mission that meant life or death for the whole human race at the time. The nightmare was real to us, we all dealt with it differently. You destroyed anything you held after Artemis was killed, M'gann cried in her sleep and sometimes when she was awake, I did not visibly react and neither did Conner or Robin. Could you explain why Robin is the only one who is getting yelled at?"
Wally stuttered nervously. "H-He was the leader after you –"
"And yet, the only reason he was leader was because I sacrificed myself and left you all by yourselves!" Kaldur interjected coldly. "He had to make choices that I am certain he believed would have spared the planet in the end. Batman just said that the scenario we were in was unbeatable, so dying was going to be the end result no matter what. Did you even ask for Robin's personal opinion about what he did, or are you too angry to even think rationally? What would you have done?"
Artemis looked away, red in the face, but there were no tears in her eyes. Conner looked like he wanted to punch something or someone that looked at him funny. M'gann had ignored all of this, still reeling in guilt over what she did by accident while Captain Marvel consoled her. Black Canary and Batman had begun slouching a little, exhausted and probably a little shocked at Kaldur's outburst.
"I….I don't know…" Wally said finally.
"Then I suggest you keep your accusations to yourself. We may have to make calls like that in the future and you have no room to accuse Robin of anything until you realize that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Kaldur looked back at Robin and added. "I was not there to witness it, but I understand that you were trying to do the right thing."
Somehow, that felt worse that Wally yelling at him. Robin did hold someone's life in his hands for the first time. It wasn't like a civilian or even literally holding onto them, it was making calls that would mean he might never see them again. He lied to his team, gave them false hope.
Just like Batman would…
Robin sighed and tried to ignore the stares he was receiving as he headed towards the Zeta tube. He needed to lie down…
Recognize: Robin. B01.
Wally could still feel Kaldur and Conner glaring at him, like being tossed between hot lava and an icy glacier. Conner looked like he was madder at himself than Wally, but he still made a point of telling the Speedster that Robin wasn't the bad guy.
"Then who is?" Wally asked.
Conner opened his mouth to answer, but he looked away, glaring at whatever it was he was looking at. Wally thought that he couldn't come up with a retort, but then Conner said something under his breath.
"You don't know how I feel."
Wally backed away when he heard Conner say that, uncertain if he was talking to Wally or to himself. All he knew was that A) Conner had just stormed out of the small room Black Canary was using for the counseling sessions and B) Wally was still trying to wrap his head around what came out of his mouth last week. So many confusing things, but Wally figured Conner felt more protective over Robin ever since the prank the Team and Zatanna pulled on Batman and Superman several weeks back.
It had taken almost an entire day for Batman to change his mind about punishing the Team and decided to do something much worse than punish them himself…
He contacted their parents.
It never occurred to Wally that what the Team was doing actually put Batman and Superman's identities at risk. The Man of Steel had to be kept low profile and any interaction between him and Batman outside of costume meant one thing. Reporters. People trying to learn more about them. Doing whatever they could to get some dirt on the two. And then it the attention would be put on both families.
So, while Wally was grounded for two months – the punishment was extended in exchange for allowing him go to the Halloween party that was coming up, he didn't want to miss that – he could only imagine what the others were given as punishments aside from what he gathered. Kaldur was temporarily stripped of leader status – which meant the whole Team couldn't go on missions without a proper leader – while he had to help Batman handle the mess they left from the prank. M'gann was barred from watching her television shows or from using the oven – which was a shame, because she was becoming a good chef – and was barred from using her powers outside of missions in case of emergencies for a week. And that included using mind-links when they wanted to talk about something within earshot of any member of the League and not be overheard.
Zatanna – who he was feeling uncomfortable being in the same room with now – was either spanked or kept from the Team even further, Zatarra calling them a "bad influence." That meant that they would have a harder time seeing her, but Wally wasn't complaining at all. Black Canary took away the television from Conner, acting in what she said was "in locus parentis." He would not want to have Black Canary as a mom. She also enlisted the Kents, who were furious with being manipulated by their "grandson" and had him doing chores around their farm whenever he visited. Which was at least once a week. On the bright side, Conner was fed apple pie when his punishment was lifted, so at least Wally knew his friend got some delayed gratification from it all.
Artemis was barred from using her phone for two months also, her family – Wally wasn't sure how much of a say Green Arrow had in the punishment, but he was certain he contributed to whatever Artemis had to endure – also forbade her from using her bow for leisurely time or practice, forcing her to go through with dealing with hand-to-hand combat sparring outside of missions. Needless to say, Artemis was lucky to have a little time to keep her archery skills sharp during the punishment period which has had yet to subside.
Robin had to spend time in-between schooling, missions and homework writing a ten-thousand-word essay on why his part in the prank was wrong and the consequences that followed were. As for the reporter, Lois, and Agent A…Wally didn't know how Batman dealt with those two, but he swore he overheard something about waffles and a flamethrower. Then again, Robin might have just been messing with him again and –
He froze, trying to ignore the quiet resignation on his best friend's face. Wally accused Rob – aw fuck it – Dick of something that he had no choice in the matter. He made it sound like Dick was willing to betray his own team for the sake of the mission; which, in hindsight, really didn't make that much sense when considered that they were dealing with a fucking alien invasion at the time!
But Wally didn't want to talk to him, it was uncomfortable being in the same room with Dick. They both needed space. He didn't know how to talk to his friend, there was something inside of him that just…shut down after Kaldur ripped him a new one. Quickly grabbing a bag of popcorn from the microwave and transferring the contents into a large bowl, Wally walked into the makeshift "therapist's office" for his session.
Whatever Black Canary decided to try in that office, he was ready.
Robin saw Conner marching – no, it looks like he's storming – down the hall only a minute or two after his session with Black Canary began. He willed his numb body to move from his spot on the couch and began following him.
Conner's mad, better make sure he doesn't wreck anything. Robin thought. Don't have Krptonite on me, so that option's out. Punching something might help, but what?
As he crept behind Conner at a safe distance – no telling how powerful his super hearing was – Robin realized that he was heading towards one of the secret exits. The same one that everyone sans Artemis was waiting by when the Team first started out, hoping that someone would give them a mission already. And now, here they were, just coming to a week into recovering from the worst training scenario ever.
Conner stopped marching, turned his head back and glared. Robin smiled awkwardly before Conner relaxed a little and huffed.
"You don't have to stalk me." Conner said simply. He went towards a small area in the hallway where several motorbikes were propped up and selected one of the red ones. Robin chose the other red motorbike and followed him.
"I want to be alone." Conner said in a warning tone.
"So do I." Robin countered. "We can be alone together."
Conner raised an eyebrow at the statement and Robin coughed awkwardly.
"I mean," Robin started again, "it's getting a little depressing being around the others. Mind if I join you?"
Conner looked at him for a moment before huffing. "Fine. But no talking."
"Cool."
They both started up their vehicles and made their way to the exit before coming to a temporary halt.
"RT, open the door." Robin said aloud, knowing that the red android was connected to the Cave's systems. His request was granted and Robin could start feeling the cool breeze from outside. A large sphere – which Conner had dubbed Sphere from several missions ago – rolled in front of them, like it didn't want them to leave.
"Get out of the way, Sphere." Conner snapped at his 'pet'.
Robin was about to argue that Sphere probably wanted to come with them when his eyes widened in shock at the living machine suddenly changing shape. He half expected a large chick to pop out of it, what with the way Sphere had unfolded itself. Instead, Robin watched in shock and amazement as it turned into a large red car with two large wheels in the back with a driver's seat and one small wheel at the front with a seat behind it.
He and Conner looked at each other, wondering if they were both thinking the same thing.
"I take the driver's seat." Conner said.
"Fine by me." Robin nodded and went to the seat up front. He heard a loud whine and looked behind him, the large white wolf that had the honor of being Conner's first pet looking at the young teen as if saying he wanted to sit there.
"Sorry Wolf." Robin said. "There's just no room."
He didn't know if Sphere heard him or if it was meant to adjust seating arrangements whenever there were more people, but he felt the machine rumble and heard something from behind, a CLING! and when he looked back, he saw an additional seat to the driver's left. Wolf wagged his tail at the sight and clambered onto the vehicle along with his master.
Robin leaned back into his seat and sighed. Maybe a nice drive would do him some good, he would worry about Sphere's new powers later.
Speaking on which, he dug into his left ear and pulled out a small black disc. Robin tossed it aside, knowing that Batman would be pissed about it, but still hoped he would at least understand why he didn't want any communication that wasn't face-to-face.
After a few moments, the transformed vehicle roared to life and he felt the wind blasting in his face, eyes widening when he realized that they were all going up in the air.
Wally munched on another piece of popcorn, tuning out Black Canary's words. He was fine, he just wanted the session to be over with.
"…you're peachy?" He caught the tail-end of a question and tilted his head sideways so he could look at the impromptu therapist.
"Peachy…" Wally tossed a piece of popcorn in the air and caught it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, catching flavors of parmesan cheese mixed in with the salt and butter. "Not what I'd say, but close enough."
"Nothing you want to talk about?" Black Canary asked.
Wally sighed, she had been trying to get to the point slowly from what he gathered from the others during their previous sessions, but this really felt like an intervention over something he DIDN'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT! She tried different things now; first session was simply asking about his family life – Wally suspected that she feared his parents were mean despite so much evidence against the idea like how his uncle was also the Flash – and trying to act like it was just a regular conversation. Second session got a little bit serious when she brought up school and anything stressful. By the third and fourth session – which Wally was getting tired of, since the Team kept on meeting up with her daily – he knew she was just trying to get to the point.
"Wally." He looked at Black Canary. "Are you sure that there isn't anything you want to talk about?"
"Nothing at all." Wally said. He leaned back against the bottom cushions of the couch he was lying on and sighed.
"You know, we can end this session now if you want to."
"I know." Wally replied. He just felt so relaxed here, nothing that was really bugging him or –
"What about your reaction after the scenario, then?" A kernel got caught in his throat, and Wally chocked for a moment before it was lodged out. He looked at her, trying to keep his heart-rate from going faster that it usually was – which odd to say, since his heart rate averaged that of a rabbit's ever since the accident that gave him his powers and an increased appetite.
So that's her game? Bringing up a sore spot? How low could a person get?
"What about you, babe?" Wally flashed a charming grin at the older woman. "Can I get mention my reaction to the first time we met?"
Black Canary's eyebrow twitched and she sighed. "Wally, I'm a legal adult. You are a minor. I am also dating Green Arrow and I would appreciate you stop flirting with someone who is both illegal and taken."
"It's not illegal on Mars." Wally smirked, silently praying that M'gann didn't come after him in his sleep for making such a joke at her planet's expense.
"Still illegal in the US." Black Canary said. "You must be pretty shocked over what happened afterwards."
"Wait. What are we talking about?"
"You snapping at Robin and blaming him for the whole thing."
"What makes you think I feel bad about it?"
Black Canary narrowed her eyes. "Whenever something serious happens, your typical response is to flirt with anyone nearby."
Wally rolled his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position. "Riiighht. And I'm the next Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village."
His amused expression shifted into a frown. "I don't see any proof that tells me you're right."
"First day of training." Black Canary began. "You volunteered to be my sparring partner and began saying that you would 'show me your moves' afterwards. You've seen me in action before, so I could tell you were trying to lighten the mood."
She smiled. "I know you were trying to calm yourself, but there are better ways of doing so."
Wally huffed. "Okay, that was just one time and –"
"In the report for your mission to protect Doctor Roquette, there was mention from M'gann's part that you mentioned receiving mouth to mouth from her right after accusing Artemis of allowing an assassin to nearly kill the doctor. She had just admitted to being just as guilty and you insisted that Artemis was the reason behind it."
"How was I nervous from that?" Wally crossed his arms.
"You were trying to place the blame solely on Artemis and were making excuses for M'gann. Even if she was distracted by Artemis, M'gann still had a responsibility and failed at that. No one ever likes admitting they're wrong, I've spent enough time arguing with Batman to prove that." Black Canary answered.
"Anything else you want to add?"
"You chocked on popcorn and changed the topic about myself during this session."
"Hey, I got an idea." Wally suddenly smiled. He unlatched his wristwatch and dangled it on one end. "We can try hypnosis. Let me see if I can get it to work."
"Wally." Black Canary began as Wally dashed right in front of her.
"Look. Into my watch." Wally chanted as he swung the watch back and forth.
"Stop it." Black Canary stood up and crossed his arms.
"I." Wally held up his watch to her face and continued dangling it. "Don't need. To talk about it!"
And with that, he pulled the watch away and latched it back around his wrist. Wally then turned around and faced the wall, trying to keep his temper under control and failing. His face felt so hot and he didn't want to talk to Canary about his problems that were non-existent or any accusations that he was rejecting help.
"If you don't need help, then why are you still here?"
Wally clenched his fists and unclenched them. He was close to punching something but he couldn't think up a response. "I don't know. Why is it you look so pretty, it's almost a crim –"
He froze in mid-sentence. He was doing it again. Crap! He was just proving her point further, and there wasn't much on his case that supported differently.
"I don't want to talk about the mission, okay?" Wally said quietly.
"Alright." Black Canary said softly. "Then do you want to end this session and call it a day?"
There was silence while he thought. And then…
"No." Wally shook his head. "There's still something I want to talk about."
"Okay then." Wally could swear that she was smiling behind his back, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, right? He marched back to his couch and sat down. He didn't feel that tired anymore and couldn't help but feel something off in his gut that wasn't related to popcorn.
If he kept keeping it to himself, then there was no way it was going to leave anytime soon.
"Black Cana…Dinah." He spoke. "Do you…do you think I was being too harsh on Robin?"
"Well…" Robin said slowly. "That was…interesting…"
Interesting was an understatement. Between the Forever People of New Genesis and Intergang, 'relaxing' cannot be used to describe the situation the two of them were just put into.
Still, it was an exciting experience nonetheless. He was thankful that it was able to help take his mind off what was going on. Conner seemed to turn into a completely different person in the situation, protective and open instead of shutting everyone out and rejecting any attempts at conversation. Robin didn't feel comfortable taking the lead on this one, thankful that he still had his utility belt on him just in case.
Sometimes, it paid to be paranoid.
And now, they were flying back towards the Cave where they would most likely get a lecture for leaving without authorization from anybody who wasn't made of metal painted red and could control the winds to make tornadoes.
"Sure was." Conner said, quickly mastering control of Sphere's flying motorbike form. Wolf sat in his seat with his tongue sticking out and flapping in the breeze. Robin chuckled at that sight and turned back to the front. This was another way he could fly; if only he had wings…
"You doing alright?" Robin looked back again and faced Conner. "You did just learn that you were keeping New Genesis technology as a pet, right?"
"Yeah." Conner looked down, his eyes looking away. "Just…a lot to take in."
"I know." Robin agreed. "But it was still better than staying in the Cave all mopey. I really don't know what the League was thinking, to be honest. Were they afraid if they let us out, we were going to do something horrible to ourselves?"
"Supervision." Conner looked up to see Robin's questioning look and added. "Adult supervision. Still not trusting us."
"I don't think trust was part of it, Con." Robin said, trying to be heard over the din that Sphere was making. "I'm just wondering why they thought keeping us locked up was a good idea in the first place."
"If they have a problem with that, they answer to me." Conner growled.
Robin chuckled. "I'm sorry? Is this coming from the guy with super-strength who couldn't beat Black Canary, someone without physical superpowers?"
"I'm better, now." Conner said. "Way better."
"Then I better make the arrangements."
"For what?" Conner raised an eyebrow.
"For the rematch…and the funeral." Robin added quickly.
Conner smirked. "I don't think so."
"Okay, just don't come crying to me when you have your ass handed to you on a silver platter again, while everyone else watches."
"How about we make this interesting?" Conner's smirk grew wider. "I win the match; the funeral is off and you owe me an apology. If I lose, I have to wear rubber diving suit for the funeral."
"Deal." Robin held out his hand, Conner reached his own out and they both shook on it.
"And Conner?" Conner looked at Robin. "Thanks. For…you know, letting me come along."
Conner smiled. "What are cousins for?"
"Cousins?" Robin said in mock-surprise. "You mean you're part Kryptonian, too?"
Both boys laughed loudly, remembering the day those words were spoken with a fondness. It felt nice to be with family, again.
Wally looked up as Robin came in, his face growing hot as he remembered the accusation he made against his best friend. How could he approach him? What was the best way to get up close and personal with a half nerd, half ninja without getting a broken arm?
Thankfully, Artemis had decided to test his theory of approach by walking up to Robin.
"Hey." She said.
"Hey." Robin replied back, sounding a bit more refreshed than he was earlier. Conner walked past the two of them, Black Canary was waiting for him in her 'office'.
Artemis looked up at the ceiling and back at Robin. "About what I said…it was stupid and wrong and inaccurate. I'm sorry."
Robin sighed.
"Does that mean you're not going to forgive me or…" Artemis struggled to think of something to say when Robin spoke up.
"I just need some space."
He looked at Wally, who felt like he was going to get ripped a new one since he wasn't a girl and therefore easier to lash out against.
"Same goes to you too, Wally. Nothing personal." Robin inhaled through his nose. "Try and get outside. Being in the Cave is too depressing."
Wally nodded numbly and watched as Robin walked down up to the TV and turned it on. M'gann looked up from her place in the kitchen, a bowl of cake batter in her hand as she looked at the boy in surprise. Kaldur was nowhere to be seen, but Black Canary said that he went into his room to meditate.
I'll build a stairway to paradise with a new step everyday
Wally felt his lips stretch into a smile as he recognized the scene and the tune.
I'm going to get there at any price, stand aside, I'm on my way
Artemis looked on with interest, whispering to Wally what it was that Robin had just put on.
I've got the blues and up above it's so fair
Shoes, go on and carry me there
I'll build a stairway to paradise with a new step everyday
Wally found himself walking towards the couch, smiling as he remembered the first time he watched this film. Robin clearly didn't plan this, it was just a matter of timing and being on the right channel.
"Mind if I sit here?" He asked quietly.
"Only if you bring popcorn." Robin responded.
"Robin." Black Canary greeted. "Red Tornado informed me that you had accompanied Conner when he went out today. Everything alright?"
"I'm feeling a bit better." Robin gave a weak grin as he walked in. Batman was, thankfully, not glaring at him when he returned to the Cave. It might have helped that he was just given information about what was going on with Sphere and that the Forever People were involved. "Needed a break and Conner provided an out. So I took it."
"No one blames you, Robin." Black Canary said. "None of what happened was your fault."
"I lied to my team – "
"To keep them going until the mission was done." Black Canary countered. "Do you think it would have been better to tell them the truth straight out and have them deal with that pain for even longer?"
Robin opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't think of anything to say. He never wanted his friends to know the truth, it just would have been too much. But did that make it okay?
"Can I still hate myself for doing that?" Robin asked.
"Well, as Machiavelli would say, 'If the end is right, it justifies the means.' You did what you had to." Black Canary said.
"Is that supposed to help?" Robin asked quietly. Black Canary flinched. "My team was counting on me to lead them and ever since this whole gig started, I wanted to lead. I wanted to take command. And look where it got me: a suicide mission that was all for nothing and my best friend hating me for it."
"Wally's starting to realize that it wasn't your fault." Black Canary said gently. "Kaldur got it into him that he was being unfair, after all."
"Does Batman have to deal with this?"
This question caught Black Canary off guard, and she even sat up straighter. Robin frowned at what he saw; it was more telling than he expected it to be.
"That's not me." He said. "I'm not a Machiavelli. I'm supposed to help people and prevent anything bad happening to them, not a puppet master having his marionettes perform movements that only he could understand."
Robin sighed. "Batman would be so disappointed if he heard all of this."
"That's only if I tell him." Black Canary said. "And that would be breaking rules of conduct between me and the patient. If he hears about this, it'll only because you wanted him to know."
"I guess I wanted to be the leader because…that was something he would do. And that if I could do that, I'd be a step closer towards becoming Batman." Robin said. He suddenly looked up. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up on the hero gig."
At her nod, Robin continued. "But…you know….this mission…I can't believe I'm saying this. This mission, this training session actually had me taking something out of it in the end.
"I'm not Batman. I will never become Batman and everything that it entails for me. To lie and trick others, even if it's for their own good…I can never imagine myself doing that to the people I care about. To the people I work with. To the people that I'm protecting. They deserve better than to be manipulated. And if being Batman means doing that all the time, I don't want any of that. No one could trust someone like that if pushed too far."
Robin's eyes widened in surprise. Where did that come from? I sounded like a philosopher for a moment!
"That's a very mature decision, Robin. And do you want to know something?" Robin nodded, unsure of where it was going. "I think Batman would respect that and be very proud of you for making that choice on your own."
Something happened, he didn't know what it was. Was it his sudden laughter at Black Canary's comment? Or was it the strange mixture of giddiness and relief and shock that swirled around him like a stomach filled with nothing but water? Maybe it was the fact that he suddenly stood up and started pacing the room, some weird expression coming over his face.
In the end, all he could remember after coming out of that room afterwards was looking at Batman, waiting to bring him back to the Manor. And for the first time in years, Robin felt something about his person change. It was like a burden being lifted off his shoulders. Looking into his mentor's eyes and seeing so much pain and exhaustion in them made Robin realize even further that everything he went through in that scenario was nothing compared to what Batman had to deal with regularly.
Right then and there, Robin made a promise to try and lift the burden off the older man's shoulders; somehow, someway.
Things started going back to normal within another week. It started becoming noisy again in the Cave and there wasn't much of an issue with training, either. But there were no more simulations like that ever again. After the stupor it put everyone in, Martian Manhunter never tried it again, afraid that the consequences would be worse than before if M'gann doesn't learn how to control her powers properly.
And there were still nights that Robin woke up gasping, halfway out of that nightmare-ish mission, right in the middle of being burnt to death by an explosion. And of course, counseling wasn't out of the picture. It went back to being a weekly occurrence instead of a daily one. There were always issues to be brought up. He even started seeing Wally's name on the calendar for appointments more frequently after Halloween, but he didn't question his friend on that. It was his business, not the Boy Wonder's.
But if the time came where Wally needed his help and asked for it, Robin would answer the call.
That's what friends were for.
Author's Note: I looked at a few of the fics that had the Team getting mad at Robin and I looked closely at one of them to see WHY they were mad at him to begin with. The episode that took place after Failsafe had Artemis mentioning that she was NOT traumatized by the whole thing, so why are people ignoring canon like that? One fic, The Broken Team, states that Artemis felt the emotional strain even though she was in a coma at the time and blamed Robin for things she NEVER SAW. They made Conner more concerned about M'gann rather than being mad at himself for understanding what it is like to be in Superman's shoes, even Kaldur got on the blame wagon at first, which is pretty out of character.
Robin did NOT betray his team for the sake of the mission. I am no soldier, but I am certain that there are orders made that the leader is forced to give if it means more people will be saved at the cost of his or her men. And Wally being mad at Robin for lying about the rays earlier doesn't make much sense, would he rather Robin said "Yeah, these rays killed our teammates and did NOT teleport them to a prison. So yeah, we're screwed." Imagine him saying that; the Team would lose hope and be demoralized. Better for them to learn later and while they have a job to finish rather than before they execute the plan. Sometimes, not letting someone know they are in danger makes it easier for them to act the way you want them to if you want them to live through the day. Not fair in some cases, but it works.
The therapy sessions were kind of confrontational in the episode. Sometimes, you have to ease into the subject matter at hand when you were ready and not be forced into talking about it by your therapist. Considering how dire their mental states were, the daily sessions sound like something soldiers might have after some huge event. I remember my counseling sessions at college and it took a few weeks before I could get to the matter I wanted to discuss the first time around.
Thanks for reading. Please review!
In the writing world, I will see you.