*This chapter takes place after the Hissakai raid from season 4 episodes 7-14 Incase your an anime watcher, manga readers... eh your good you're already deep in season 6 by now.*

A motel room door opened up to reveal Izuku with tears in his eyes, he eyed the person infront of him with confusion. Ururaka's smile turned into a frown, "What's wrong Deku?" She asked him as she stepped aside to let him in, Izuku shut the door behind him as he wiped the tears away, he looked at her up and down with a blank stare before saying to her, "Lose the look Himiko..." she looked at him blank before closing her eyes as her face and body melted off revealing her true face.

She stood there naked as she perked up with a smile, she wrapped her arms around his neck and began to kiss his kneck, "Thought I'd surprise you Deku." Izuku blinked as he unhooked her hands from his neck without a single word, he walked over to the bathroom, grabbed one of the robes and threw it over her shoulders. "Please Himiko I'm really not in the mood right now..." he said sitting on the single bed. She looked at him for a second, walked over then kneeled down infront of him "What's wrong?" She asked again, he wouldn't look at her, he just kept his vision towards the floor.

"My mentor died today...and my friend lost his quirk...neither of us could do anything. We just stood there and watched him die..." he said as a single tear escaped his eye. Toga watched him as he continued "Some of my other friends and the pros are still in the hospital recovering from the raid, meanwhile I'm here in a motel room with a naked girl infront of me who's probably experiencing me to sleep with her..." he said looking up at her, Toga's eyes filled with guilt at those few words as she tied her robe up.

How could she have assumed something like that would happen after she herself played a part in the raid? She and Twice both knew from first hand what those Hissakai men were capable of. She even saw him go one on one with Chisakai himself.

"Well...Hey, I heard you found that kid Chisakai was holding. That's good isn't it?" She asked trying to make light of the situation.

"Yeah we found her, she's in quarantine with a high fever. They won't even let me see her." He said coldly, "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, I hope she's okay-" "I told you not to hurt anybody." He said even colder than before. "I didn't." She replied wide eyed "Yes you did Toga, I saw you with my own two eyes. You stabbed two pro heroes, one of them was a father. I don't know why you're even trying to lie to me about that right now." He said stern.

Toga panicked, she was going to lose him if this kept up. She quickly got to her feet before she explained herself "You're right! You're right that was stupid of me and I'm sorry. I know I can be a little much sometimes especially in the moment, but it's no accident that those guys are still alive right now, okay? I made sure to avoid any anything that could damage or kill them. If I didn't care, I would've just killed them both easy!" She told him with a wide smile, Izuku's blank look quickly turned into frustration.

"That's not what I asked you Toga, you promised me you wouldn't hurt anyone, especially not pros!" He said raising his voice, it didn't take long for Toga to follow. "Okay well they're alive aren't they? If that's all I did than what's the big deal?" Something snapped inside of Midoriya when he heard her say that. He stood up.

"What's the big deal?! I just told you someone died and you have the nerve to ask me 'what's the big deal'?!" He yelled, something in Toga's eyes shifted at his tone, love and lust soon quickly shifted into deadly hostility as she got closer to his face "Our plan worked didn't it? No ones suspicious of us and you wanted it to be believable didn't you?"

"Don't try to twist my words around, I specially said 'Make it believable as possible just don't harm any heroes' I told you that and you did it anyway! That's why I'm upset!" "Okay well I'm sorry! Alright! But give me a break Izuku I've been this way my entire life, it's who I am but I've been trying okay! I've been laying low this entire time, you really wanna know why I looked like Uraraka when you came? Because if I had my real face I'd be arrested or worse gunned down on the spot!" She cried out, feeling herself get more and more hostle each word. She needed to calm down or things were going to get bloody.

"That's not an excuse to hurt people! I know you went through a lot when you were younger, but your past doesn't give you the right to kill!" Midoriya cried back, he was way too emotional right now, if things continued to escalate then he might accidentally use One for All.

"ITS WHO I AM!"

"AND THIS IS WHO I AM!" He yelled out and before he knew what he was doing, he punched a hole in the wall right next to Toga's head. Toga's eyes widened at him, she never thought he'd use his quirk on her, she knew how powerful he was, she was speechless after seeing him fight with Overhaul, he was so angry but yet controlled. This was different, this was pure anger.

She had never been afraid of him until now, his eyes glowed bright green with traces of green lightning in them, he had a look of rage that quickly turned into shock and fear as he backed away from her.

"Himiko..."

"Get out...Deku just go.." she whispered, she was afraid. As much as she loved him there was no way he could be around her right now, what good what that do?

He was scared. He never meant to hurt her but he lost control and used his quirk, he had to apologize.

"Toga I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Get out now!" She cried out with tears in her eyes. "Just go, please!" Said pushing him out the door, Midoriya turned around to face her, with tears streaming down his eyes once again, he had to say something, say anything.

"I love you..." he said, she paused clearly taken a back by his words. She had always wanted to hear him say that, but in those few moments she remembered who she was, what she really wanted from him. Her expression turned cold and lifeless as she told him "Leave me alone Deku." She said before slamming the door in his face.

He turned around, put on his hood and walked away, he couldn't think straight, he can't just go back to the dorms like this. What would he even say? There was no one else he could talk about this with, there was only one place he could go to to take his mind off of everything.

*

The fresh breeze blew across Deku's face, taking the clouds of smoke with it, the sounds of the waves crashing was all he could here, he took another hit and blew out even more clouds, he checked his phone for the time and sighed. Two thirty, when did he become such a night owl? He thought to himself.

oh yeah...

He shook his head as he inhaled once more, he knew he shouldn't be out this late at night, it was way past curfew at U.A, and he definitely shouldn't be smoking either, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He leaned against the rails of the gazebo as he blew even more clouds into the atmosphere.

Whether he should be out here or not, the beach was always a place he could go to calm down, it was the beach that built him after all. He wondered what All Might would think if he could see him now? The very thought made him sick to his stomach.

How could he come so far and yet fall so hard?

He lifted the blunt to his lips but couldn't bring himself to inhale it again, he had lost the need for it. So he put it out and headed back towards U.A.

He used about five percent of his quirk to run up the wall and gently land on the ground, he quickly sprinted towards the dorms, he headed towards his window but found it locked. He cursed. He had no choice but to sneak in through the front door, it should be fine he thought. It was late, there should be no reason why anyone should be up at this time.

He quietly went to the front door, slowly turned the knob, cringed at the small creak the door made, he looked around and when he was certain no one heard him he quickly got inside and shut the door.

When he turned around he felt his heart sink to his stomach as bakugo came into view, he stared at him with an angry glare holding a mug of tea. "Little late to be going on a run Deku." He said tauntingly, play dumb."Have to get extra training in somehow." He replied, "Really? At almost three in the morning?" Midoriya tsked "Don't see why you care all of a sudden, I've had a long day Okay? I was busy letting off steam." "Oh is that why you've been sneaking out every night?" He said putting his mug down on the counter, midoriya felt his heart begin to race rapidly as his forehead started to heat with sweat. "What are you even talking about?" He said trying to cover.

"You really think I'm stupid enough to NOT notice you sneak around?" He said stalking towards him.

"You're smart to not don't leave every night but not smart enough, you still leave a pattern. You sneak out every three days and come home at least fifteen minutes before school starts through your window."

Shit.

Was that why his window was locked?

He tried to pinpoint a memory of him locking the window before hand but found none, that's when he knew. There was no way he could lie out of this one, not with Kacchan.

"What are you getting at Kacchan?" He asked still holding on to a speck of hope that he could get out of this alive. "Don't know deku. Why don't you and I step outside and you can tell me all about it?" He said inches away from his face. Their eyes locked for a full minute. He tried his hardest not to show fear or any sign of suspicion, but even he knew he couldn't get anything past that fiery stare bakugou let off.

He couldn't do it. He had no other choice.

"Fine. You wanna talk? Let's talk."

*

The two teens sat on the roof as a small cloud of smoke filled the air. Katsuki watched as his childhood friend light up the small blunt once more and inhale and exhale a small cloud. He snickered,

"Geez Deku, you even smoke like a twerp." Izuku looked at him with confusion, he smiled and extended his hand, "Here, I'll show you how it's done." Amusement filled Midoriya's eyes as he handed it over to him.

He placed it in between his lips and skillfully inhaled a big hit and blew out a giant cloud of smoke with no sign of strain whatsoever before handing it back to him, "Since when do you smoke?" Asked Izuku with an amused smile, "You do remember when my birthday is don't you?" Said Katsuki with a laugh, "Oh yeah, huh so that's why you were always so nice on your birthday."

"Yep, I practically devoured my cake all by myself. So when did you start? From the looks of it it must have been recent." Midoriya scoffed as he looked out at the city beyond the schools walls, he watched as the lights of the city shined bright, one of them was probably Toga still in the motel room.

"Yeah, my girlfriend got me into it..." he said, as he inhaled deeply, "Girlfriend?" Asked Katsuki In confusion "Yeah...My little secret." He replied extending his arms in a playful gesture despite the clear pain in his eyes. Katsuki scoffed, "So you've really been sneaking out and lying because of your girlfriend?" He said before taking another hit as he passed it back.

"Well she's not exactly the take home to mom type." He said before taking the blunt which was now the size of his index finger. "You gotta be kidding?" He shook his head "Nope, trust me not even All Might would approve." "Never thought you'd be into bad girls, I always thought you'd be into losers like you, or Pink Cheeks or whatever."

"Uraraka you mean?" He asked with a sly smile, "Yeah sure." "I did for a while, she's cool don't get me wrong, but there's something about this girl I just can't get over, it's like she's in my head twenty-four seven." He said blowing yet another small cloud before handing back to Katsuki.

"Doesn't sound too good to me," he told him, "I know it doesn't make sense out loud, but with her it's just different, with her I'm not 'Deku' or 'Young Midoriya'" he said imitating All Might. "She makes me feel alive, like I'm free to do whatever I want and be who I want, for once I actually feel like a teenager." He smiled weakly, "You knew what you signed up for when you took All Might's quirk, if you're so bothered by the pressure then just give it back to him." Said Bakugou with a hint of bitterness, "it's not that it bothers me, I'm just saying that it's nice to be a kid once in a while, I mean you have to admit Kacchan, we've grown up a lot these since we first enrolled in U.A."

Bakugou closed his eyes and furrowed his brows "That was expected of us, if anything it's a small price to pay for wanting to be a hero. But I see where your coming from. It is nice to act your age once in a while."

"Yeah, that's for sure." Said midoriya with that same look of hurt in his eyes. "So what happened between you two? You must be pouting for a reason."

Izuku sighed "I'm not high enough for that yet.."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you're making it seem deku." He said with his normal irrigated tone.

Midoriya hesitated for a second, before deciding to answer but keeping it as vague as possible.

"We got into a really bad fight. Which is why I'm up here smoking instead of being asleep or in my room studying like I probably should be right about now."

"I hear that's normal, hell I grew up with the sound of my mom yelling at my dad. But at the end of the day I know they still love each other."

"I don't think so, we're not exactly the typical couple. And I doubt she wants to talk to me after I just punched a hole in a wall." He answered deadpan. Bakugou's head whipped towards him in complete shock and disbelief. "Are you serious?! She pissed you off THAT bad? I didn't think even had it in you." He cried out.

Midoriya sighed and looked down towards the ground, "It wasn't exactly my proudest moment. She was so scared she threw me out of the room, I feel terrible for making her feel like that, even if she did make me angry that's no excuse to make someone you love feel that way towards you." He whispered, ashamed of himself, he couldn't help but torture himself with the thought of Toga possibly still in the room crying to herself because of him. That thought alone made him hit the blunt extra hard, with his desire for a bigger high becoming greater.

"I don't know Kacchan...Maybe it's better this way, I mean it's not like I was gonna marry her and live happily ever after." He said bluntly.

"What's the point then?" Asked Katsuki clearly confused by his words.

"What I'm having trouble understanding, is that if she makes you feel so good, but is so bad to where you feel like shit, or to where even someone like your mom or All Might wouldn't approve why bother? Why not spare both of you the trouble and end it?" Asked Katsuki, Izuku searched deep inside himself for the answer to that question for a while until finally he had answer.

"Girls are like blunts, you go in wide eyed eager and ready for the high. But it's hard to come down, your not ready, so you keep getting high and higher and higher but all that smoking is gonna catch up eventually, but your way in way too deep to stop...you know you shouldn't, you know it's not good for you, but you still do it because you'd rather die happy than be alive and face reality. That's how she makes me feel."

Silence filled the atmosphere for a while as Katsuki just sat there taking in the information, then he spoke.

"Deku?" He asked.

"Yeah?..."

"You're even more of a dork when your fucked up..." said Katsuki as he jumped off the roof and skillfully landed on the pavement. "Hurry up nerd, your fucking up my sleep schedule and we got class in a few hours so move your ass..." he said tucking his hands in his pockets as he walked back inside.

Midoriya smiled as he ashed the blunt and threw it away as he quickly followed him back inside, he found him waiting in the common area before he turned his head, "Y'know, keeping secrets was never really your thing Deku..." he said to him before he walking off back towards his room.

Midoriya stared at him all the way until he was no longer in his sight, he smiled to himself as he whispered:

"Thanks Kacchan..."