Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the long absence, everyone. Update on the story and what's going to happen from now on. I'm entering my senior year at college, and taking 6 courses plus one half of a class. Meaning I will have little time to myself that doesn't involve reading fics or physically unwinding from the day. I hope to have at least an update or two a month, so please don't think this is a hiatus. I will be posting similar messages on my other stories.
Also wanted to address some reviews from last chapter.
AstrisDreams: Thank you for agreeing with the whole Artemis thing. The prank mentioned in the last chapter was from We Love Our Two Dads. It involved Superboy and Robin getting payback on Superman and dragging everyone around them into it. Worst fic I ever wrote because when I looked back at it; Superboy was written like a six-year old, people were OOC in some places, Batman WASN'T being the Detective he is supposed to be and the Team got away with a light scolding. I promised karma on them and I delivered. The serious thing was just Wally being nervous. I noticed that Wally tends to go into "flirt" mode whenever he is nervous or stressed: He flirted with Canary in the training episode out of cockiness and to calm himself, he got flustered when Miss Martian pointed out she was also at fault for Cheshire getting in and Wally just wanted to have another reason to be mad at Artemis, and then choking on popcorn during the session in canon when Artemis' death was brought up and wanted to talk about something else. Also, Robin never agreed with Canary's quote from The Prince. He thought it was despicable and also thinks that the end doesn't justify the means.
Artemis Raven Courtney: We talked about this in the pms and I do think that some of the punishments were a little much. That was me wanting to make sure no Karma Houdini was in effect. But like I said, harsh punishments that are a bit much wouldn't be OOC for Batman. Thank you for your points.
Feel free to go to the page on TV Tropes and add stuff. I already got a lot on it and wouldn't mind edits or additions I never thought of before.
Last thing; this chapter isn't that long, I'm afraid. It's also pretty weak, in my opinion. I really wanted to avoid shooing away the comedy aspect in this chapter. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Did the Justice League ever attempt to make contact with Red Arrow, especially during the time that a temporary Den Mother was needed? If not, all rights to Young Justice Belong to Cartoon Network and DC Comics.
Recognize Speedy B06.
Red Arrow sighed. This was the fifth time this month this happened. The culprit made no attempt to keep their identity hidden.
"It's Red Arrow, B06." Red Arrow repeated a tired refrain, knowing it would just call him Speedy when he made his way out. Why did he ever bother visiting the Cave, again?
A cackle echoed throughout the Cave, filled with childish glee and impishness. Oh yeah. Red Arrow remembered. I had to play Den Mother for these Justice League wannabes.
He didn't want to do this, he never wanted to associate with anyone who kowtowed to people who kept even the most basic of information from them, like the Watchtower in space, for instance. But somehow, Red Arrow was located by Captain Marvel and requested help for keeping an eye on – he shuddered at the name later on – the Team while Red Tornado was gone. Something about him going off with two other androids that looked a lot like him…
Thankfully, this role he was assigned – or forced into, since Captain Marvel threatened to tell Batman like a little kid would – didn't require much. For starters, Black Canary was the one who dealt with training them and Batman assigned missions. All Red Arrow had to do was stay overnight and make sure that anyone living in the Cave like he did wouldn't get hurt.
He snorted at that idea as he made his way into the kitchen area – which he had to admit was a lot better than his apartment. Why would a Superman-mini and a telepathic Martian he was beginning to view with suspicion need maintenance? Oh yeah, he remembered, because they can't even take care of themselves.
With a television blaring on static for some reason an hour or two a day and the kitchen constantly a mess from telepathic accidents, Red Arrow had made it a rule to himself to never have dinner or make it in the environment he was forced into. With Superboy being a walking time-bomb and the kitchen being occupied frequently, there just wasn't much room for him to do much.
Thank God for take-out and his bank account. With a fair amount of cash from the trust fund that Oliver set up for him a few years back and untouched for the next three years, it could only be considered a stroke of luck that his former guardian decided to open up a bank account for him and fill it up with cash. But he was careful, getting food from places that were cheap and decent.
And not selling dogmeat; Red Arrow was retching up his dinner later that night after he found out and brought that practice to light and let the media destroy the establishment that sold it in the first place. Also, the restaurant would never be in Gotham, too many crazies that ought to be killed. He didn't want to wind up in a situation a la Sweeney Todd, either.
Red Arrow was brought out of his musings by the sound of shouting. He sighed. Three guesses who. First hint; one half is the epitome of a black hole. Second hint; she's my replacement.
"You are still denying that magic exists when there is a bucket full of evidence supporting the opposite! Explain that with your science!"
Oh great. Red Arrow thought sarcastically. They're fighting over that again.
Wally talked in a level voice, slowly becoming more aggravated as he spoke. "Okay, let me start off by saying that; one, Zatarra is an illusionist and probably has access to –"
"Would you both just drop it?!" Superboy's angry voice was amplified by the cave walls. "I've been hearing this argument for the past two weeks! No one cares, so drop it!"
"Stay out of it, Superboy!" Artemis snapped. Red Arrow walked into the hallway leading into the bedrooms just in time to see Artemis cowering under Superboy's glare.
"Make me." He growled.
"Alright, that's enough everyone!" Red Arrow marched up to the three teens and placed himself in front of Superboy. "I don't want to know what started it, and I don't want to know why you're still fighting about. Just drop it and not look at each other."
"Or else you'll send us to our rooms?" Wally asked.
"Without dinner." Red Arrow added.
All three teens looked pensive at that statement for a minute…Wally broke the silence.
"But I don't live here."
"Me neither." Artemis smirked. "So you can't do anything to us."
"I can call Batman."
This brought out chuckles from the two. Superboy looked at them with distain before walking off, muttering that he was surrounded by idiots. Red Arrow made a mental note to get Black Canary's advice on how she dealt with him.
"And your parents!" Red Arrow added quickly when the chuckling grew louder. "And I'll tell them you're in a relationship with each other."
The chuckling stopped.
Red Arrow thought he had succeeded in his mission when he noticed the intense glares that Artemis and Wally were giving him simultaneously. And it somehow made him not want to laugh.
Artemis was the first to speak. "Why is that everyone's first response when they see us fighting?! Is it amusing or something?!"
"Seriously, Roy," Wally snapped, "how would you like it if someone kept seeing you as a couple with some girl –"
"Or guy." Artemis added. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Or guy," Wally begrudgingly agreed, "and assumed that you two were in a relationship?"
Red Arrow stepped back slowly, trying to remember the protocol that Black Canary mentioned to him that involved what to do if Artemis and Wally were to gang up on him simultaneously. While he did this, Red Arrow felt the urge to kick himself. There was a mention about never making implications about relationships. Apparently, there was an incident a while back involving a water hose, three pairs of pants, and a toaster the last time someone tried that…
"Okay, okay, I take it back." He said rather quickly. "Sorry. Just…stop fighting!"
Both teens sighed in relief at the implications.
"But I'm still going to tell your parents!" He added quickly. And then he left, desperate for something to take his frustrations out on. He couldn't stay a minute longer and it wasn't like they had the Justice League not on speed-dial. It was just for a little bit, Batman would never let him hear the end of it if he heard Red Arrow had abandoned his post while Red Tornado was missing in action.
Recognize ArrowButt B06.
"That's Red Arrow B06!"
Recognize Speedy B06.
"It's Red Arrow B06!" Red Arrow growled as the Zeta tube flashed to life. Robin just can't let me live down the whole 'hissy fit' he keeps accusing me of pulling the 4th of July, can't he? He thought angrily. It wasn't his fault that the League was keeping secrets from them all; not telling them about the Watchtower, not actually welcoming them into the Justice League, and for making Red Arrow leave in disgust. The three of them just stood there when he suggested leaving together. He gave them a chance, they were at fault for not taking it when they had it.
It wasn't like he was desperate for someone to hang out with. That wasn't why he came back to the Cave for no apparent reason.
Dear God, he was lonely…
Maybe he should just go back to wherever he came from and try getting the Justice League's attention somehow.
"Hey!"
He ignored Superboy's cry and went back into the Zeta tube.
Recognize SuperWeener B06.
"Red Arrow B06!" As if that would change anything.
Recognize Mister Arrow B06
"Red Arrow B06." Red Arrow grumbled.
It was the fourth time that this had happened. No matter how many times he changed it whenever the designation was altered, it would just change again in a few minutes. Red Arrow confronted Robin over this, but the kid just said he didn't do it.
Yeah, the hacker who could break into almost any security system was claiming to be innocent in this whole thing. Leave it to the Boy Wonder to mess with the system and have it call me something other than Speedy. But why is Mister Arrow actually an improvement over that?!
"Why am I here again?" He said out loud. Then he saw everyone under the age of 18 starting to lie down on tables circling each other with Martian Manhunter in the middle. Whatever was going on, he didn't want anything to do with it. And the rest of the League, too. Was this some sort of intervention?
Recognize SirCannotComeUpWithAGoodNameAndDecidesToStealOneFromHisMentorWhoStoleIdeasFromBatman B06.
"Godammit!"
Recognize I'mAPrettyPrincess B06
Red Arrow contemplated his next action, especially since the system seemed to be doing everything in its power to mock it.
"That's it." Red Arrow said in a blank voice. "I'm outta here."
He turned around to face the Zeta tube, much to the surprise of the people in the room - Robin, Aqualad, Kid Flash and Miss Martian who had witnessed his appearance and tired response – and spoke once more.
"By the way, Robin. It stopped being funny the second time you messed with it."
Recognize Red Arrow B06
"That's Red Arr –" He halted in mid-rant, the words clicking in his mind. Finally, he thought, a little respect.
In the flash of light, he was gone.
And he didn't come back until Robin issued an apology several weeks later. Along with 50 bucks. And didn't come back again...
Author's Note: The disclaimer part was inspired by Silently Watches. He said he was alright with the disclaimer style imitated (though I wasn't sure at the time). If you want humor, check out Faery Heroes on his page. Or Itachi, Is That a Baby? by SpoonandJohn. Hilarious stuff. Really want to reach their level somehow.
The strange thing about Red Arrow's name constantly changing is that he never called Robin out on it. And still kept coming despite the fact that Robin would just change it. And why would he keep coming if he didn't want to associate with the Team?