-Henry, darling, I'm talking to you.
-What? – Henry and Anne had been following Catherine all day through the gardens after she had returned from talking to Cardinal Wolsey. She really had done it; she hadn't been bluffing about not having gone to his chambers to ask for permission and it really surprised him. Catherine had never defied him like this before, but here he was, following her to see what else she was capable of. He was behaving like a child but for some reason, he just couldn't picture her with someone else, much less someone who had been beside him since he became King, like Thomas More, who right now was talking to his wife as she cradled little Mary.
-Henry, what has got into you today? You are not paying any attention to what I'm saying.
-That's nice Anne.
-Henry! – her yell seemed to bring him back to the land of the living as he looked back at her. Something was missing in his eyes when he roamed her body, that sparkle of lust that use to drive him crazy and into her bed almost every day seemed to have vanished.
-What the hell do you want?!
-I didn't mean to yell at you, but you seemed to be so far away.
-I was thinking.
-About her? Have you come up with a way of getting rid of her?
-Anne, she's still your Queen and if someone heard you talking like that, they could say that you are committing treason. It's best if you keep quiet and leave.
-What? You've been pushing me away since this morning? What has she done to you, what has she told you?
-That's the point! She hasn't!
-Shouldn't that be exactly what we want?
-I don't know. I need to think, leave me alone.
Anne looked very hurt but he was the king and so she vowed and walked away, but once she was a few feet away she turned her head to look at him once more and saw that he was staring at something in the distance. Stopping on her tracks she hid behind some bushes so she could spy on whoever he was looking at. Popping her head from behind the bush she felt as if her heart had been smashed into little pieces. He was looking at her, at Catherine, that horrible woman. She was carrying the king's child, she was sure it would be a son, and that woman had never succeeded in giving England the so needed heir, she still could play that card.
Catherine and Thomas were sitting on the grass, Mary playing with the hem of her mother's dress as the adults talked. Mary was two months old and could already sit on her own as well as smile and laugh, her arms always moving up and down all the time. She was a very active child, and a very loved one as well. Thomas had approached them a little while ago thinking she might want some company. They hardly talked, Catherine was too much in thought to actually say anything, but she did like that he was just there, keeping her company, she wasn't expecting Henry to show up at all and be with her, he had pushed her away and she was going to do the same.
-I'm very sorry your Majesty. – those were the first words he had spoken since she had allowed him to sit with them. He did feel sorry, he admired the woman and knew that she was a very loved Queen but still she was always in pain, putting that mask of rightness and magnificence she was so known and admired for. - I know you must be going through a very hard time.
-Thank you, Mr. More, that's very kind of you. It has been very hard indeed, but Mary has helped me a lot.
-She's very important to you, isn't she?
-Yes. Although I feel as if Henry doesn't love her.
-The King loves his daughter, I'm sure of it.
-But he wishes she had been born a boy. Every time I've found myself with child, he was so sure it would be a boy and the only one that has survived has been her. – a sweet smile graced her lips as she watched her daughter laugh, Mary always found the simplest things the funniest and Catherine cherished these small moments with all her heart.
-Maybe the Lord is punishing his Majesty.
-Whatever for? – for the first time since arriving from Westminster, she was actually interested in having a conversation and was rather surprised to hear such a thing coming from him since he was Henry's friend.
-Lady Anne and his other girls.
-Oh, that. – her semblance turned a little bit dark at the mention of his affairs, her attentions going back to her daughter.
-Forgive me, your Majesty, it was never my intention to hurt you.
-You didn't Mr. More. It is true that it hurts but it's not your fault.
-Have you tried to talk with him?
-Many times, but he always managed to push me away. There was always something more important to do than talk to me.
-I'm sure things will get better your Majesty.
He put his hand over hers smiling reassuringly. Henry saw the intimate gesture and felt his blood start to boil. That man was touching his wife and lord knows what his intentions could be! She really had been right when she had been saying that if he had mistresses, she would have male companions. How dare she do that to him! He was about to head their way when he saw ambassador Chapuys walking hurriedly in her direction and decided to wait. He approached Catherine, a big letter in his hands.
-I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I have something for you, your Majesty.
-Ambassador! I thought you would be on your way to Spain by now. – she took Mary in her arms sitting her on her lap as she looked up to the man she thought she wouldn't see for quite some time.
-I had to wait for some documents to get here your Majesty. They are very important and should be delivered right away.
Thomas took Mary in his arms so Catherine could take the letter. It had the seal from the Spanish crown. Worried it might be even more bad news she stared at the seal for a few seconds wondering if she should break it or not but, in the end, she would have to read it, and it was best if she did it right away. With a silent clack, the seal broke in half, and with shaky hands and her heart pounding in her chest, she unfolded the parchment.
-Ambassador, do you know what this is? – she showed the parchment to him, but he didn't need to read it, he just smiled and nodded.
-Yes, your Majesty.
-You knew I was going to accept before you came to talk with me, weren't you?
-I was quite sure you would, yes.
-And you accepted it in my name?
-I mentioned to the members of the Court that you had always been a person that believed in duty. Maybe they misinterpreted my words, your Majesty.
-You got lucky Ambassador. Either way, this letter would have reached me, but don't take such liberties and we shall not mention this incident ever again.
-What does it say, your Majesty?
-That I, as the daughter of Isabel I of Castile and Fernando II of Aragon now that all my siblings and potential heirs are gone and their descendants have refused the crown in my favour, with my signature in this document it shall be official. I'll be Queen of Spain and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire. Ambassador, shouldn't a representative of the court have come and be my witness?
-I am that representative your Majesty. I have ink and a quill in my pocket if you wish to sign here.
-What difference would an office make? Hand it to me.
Chapuy gave her a beautiful swan feather quill, opening the bottle of ink carefully as he kneeled on the grass. Henry was very surprised, the only one that signed documents was he, so he took it as a very very bad sign. What if she was starting a revolution against him? He was too far away for Catherine to see him pacing, his imagination getting the best of him. Once she signed there was no going back, she would be the most powerful woman to have ever lived, maybe she should have thought about it more, but the image of her mother came to her mind.
-Ambassador, what if I'm not a good Queen?
-You'll be just as good as your mother or even better your Majesty. You have always posed the best of both your parents.
Taking a deep breath, she dipped the quill in the ink and moved her hand to the lower part of the parchment. She didn't know if it was a good idea, but there was no turning back and carefully she signed with her name: Catalina de Trastámara y Trastámara. She didn't feel any different as she lifted the quill after signing but knew that everything would change now, her two-month-old daughter was now the heiress of the biggest empire to have ever existed and she could hardly crawl.
-Your Majesty. – He vowed his head followed by Mr. More, both in an act of submission to her. He had been her servant and supporter in this foreign land after he was appointed by her father but now, he was her most humble servant wherever he went. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. – I am forever at your service your Majesty.
-I shall have to go to Spain soon, shan't I? – the thought of returning to her homeland brought such joy into her heart but also sadness since she would be alone, but being able to see the green landscapes that filled the mountains and the fields of Galicia or Asturias, the plains that created Castilla, the many rivers that crossed through Aragón… She just couldn't wait to visit Granada and walk through its streets, but most of all what she couldn't wait to do was visit the graves of her family. It would allow her to stop chasing ghosts.
-Yes, your Majesty, you'll be expected to return soon. You'll have many things awaiting you there.
-What… what do you mean?
-Your sister Juana was a very loved Queen, but I don't know how the people will react to you since you are Queen of England and Spain and England have always been…
-Enemies, yes, I understand. But I'm not a foreigner, I was born and raised in Spain.
-That I believe we'll play in your favour, your Majesty. There shouldn't be any problems but I must tell you this so you'll be prepared; Navarra wishes to become a kingdom of its own again, so have in mind that they might not act friendly when you first go there.
-I understand ambassador. Go back to Spain and take the letter to Court. Be ready for my arrival in a few months' time. I will travel to Santander and make my way to Valladolid, after that we shall go to Granada, I wish to visit my mother's grave. You are dismissed.
-Of course, your Majesty. I am forever at your feet.
Vowing his head, he raised from the floor taking the letter and folding it. Catherine watched him go, the quill still in her hand. She could hardly believe what she had just done, she had signed the most important document of her life right there in the garden and she hadn't even talked with Henry about it. Then again, he had nothing to do with it, absolutely nothing. Henry had watched everything from afar and for the first time in many years, he was genuinely scared. What if she was the head of the rebellion? He had to find out, so he walked fast in her direction, Anne following him with her eyes from her spot behind the bushes. She wouldn't risk doing that would she?
-Good day, Henry. – how on Earth did she know it was him? He thought to himself. She had been living with the man for quite some time and could smell him a mile away, he always smelled the same: old wine and wood fire.
-Good day Catherine. I just saw the ambassador leaving, what did he want?
-He wanted to give my titles.
-What? – she wasn't starting a rebellion, thank the Lord for that.
-My right to become Queen and Empress has just been made official.
-Did you accept it without asking me?
-This doesn't involve you Henry, and I did not accept it. I've become Queen and Empress.
-You what?! I thought that you would think about it! You just found out about this yesterday! – this was way worse than her heading the rebellion. All his plans had just gone out the window because his wife had decided not to talk to him. Did she despise him, was she scared of him? – We used to talk Catherine.
-Yes, well, things change. You did.
-Why are you being so difficult?
-I will not engage in an argument, not in front of Mary and Mr. More. I did what my parents would have asked me to do, and I don't think I should have to ask you or talk with you since you do whatever you want without consulting me and it affects our daughter and the English people.
-You are my wife, not my chancellor.
-My father was always my mother's chancellor as well as she was his. I think you have forgotten what marriage implies Henry. Anyway, I do not wish to talk with you anymore, please, leave.
-Catherine, I'm trying to maintain a conversation with you.
-I'm so tired of you Henry. I think I'll go for a walk; would you accompany me, Mr. More?
-Of course, your Majesty. Your Majesty. – More vowed his head after getting up from the floor before helping Catherine rise.
-Catherine, please. – he grabbed her wrist but for once he wasn't using all his force to maintain her there, he just didn't want her to leave. Not with him, with anyone that wasn't him.
-If you want to talk you know what you have to do. I won't ask you to dine with me or even come to my chambers because I know that you'll do it one day and you'll go back to her the next. I'm your wife and I won't be subjected to mockery anymore. Good day, Henry.
He let go of her and watched dumbfounded as she walked away taking Mary in her arms from Mr. More's. He felt powerless as if she had taken all his energy with her newfound attitude and strength. All of a sudden seeing Anne didn't sound very appealing. Seeing someone who wasn't Catherine didn't sound very nice. Maybe he had pushed her too far and had ended up losing her, but that was what he had wanted once, to get her out of the way and now he couldn't bear the idea of parting with her. Anne could see that Henry was in pain but admiring his wife as she strolled away with More. She had to win him back, she was going to give him the son he had always wanted, and then he would never look at Catherine ever again.
-You'll be a magnificent Queen, your Majesty, I know it.
-I'm very grateful for your kind words. I will try my best, but I must admit that it frightens me. I have power over such an amount of land and people that I wonder if they'll accept me if I'll be able to make them prosper.
-You will be a very loved Queen your Majesty.
-Do you think I was too rough with Henry? I love him but I'm tired of all this.
-I do not think so your Majesty. You should keep going. Henry likes to have what he believes he can't get and once he has it, he grows tired of it. The way he used to talk about you before you were married… He loves you; he's just grown accustomed to you.
-Then I shall continue. I just hope he won't betray me and leave me.
-Leave you? He wouldn't dare, would he?
-You said it yourself, he's grown tired of me. He said this morning that our marriage had been over since the very beginning. I think he will ask me for a divorce soon.
-He won't be that stupid. You could start a war with England and crush him to bits, he knows that.
-But he also knows that I wouldn't start something like that out of revenge. It's not like me.
-That is true, you are too good. For him, for us, for England. I'm his best friend and I'm telling you, no begging you to push him to his limits. He'll soon find out what's best for himself.
-What if he ends up asking for a divorce? Then what? Would I return to Spain with Mary and hope he doesn't try to end me?
-I will be honest. He wouldn't be so stupid as to try and end you, he knows it would be suicide. And there's no need for you to worry about the kingdom, I'll make sure you are not forgotten here. I will always be your loyal servant; I would even go to Spain with you if you asked me.
-Thomas, I think I know where you are heading, and even though I am flattered I must tell you that I can't be with you. I am sorry, you are a lovely man, but I am still married and will be for many years, I hope.
-I knew you would answer that, but I will wait for you. I just thought you ought to know.
-Thank you for your honesty, Thomas. I am very fond of you and would like you to stay close to me. Now many people will try to get to me, and I don't know if I'll be able to trust many of them, but I know I can trust you.
-You are not afraid I might tell Henry about your plans? Or that my feelings for you might drive me mad?
-No. You are a good man Thomas. I want you to be around me and help me, just if you accept.
-Chancellor to the king and chancellor to the Queen? Henry won't like it.
-Henry doesn't have to win every time.
Thomas smiled as the Queen chuckled. From that moment on, they chatted about mundane things, sharing lovely moments with Mary while Henry watched how his best friend swept his wife of her feet. Anne approached him from behind, touching his shoulder softly. It took him several seconds to turn around and face his mistress. She was pretty but he didn't find her as alluring as he had before not even for a one-night stand. He just didn't want her around.
-Are you alright Henry?
-Anne, I don't want you around, at least not for a couple of days.
-But Henry! I'm carrying your child, your son!
-How can I know if it's mine?! Just go away! I don't want you here.
-It's her! Why is it always her?!
-If you say one more word, I'll have you vanished!
He glared at her before she ran back into the castle. Henry's voice reached Catherine's ears; she couldn't quite make out what he said but she knew he was throwing one of his famous tantrums. She closed her eyes holding Mary closer to her chest, the little girl falling asleep at the sound of her mother's heartbeat. Thomas turned around just in time to see Anne running back to the castle and without thinking placed a hand in the small of Catherine's back. They returned to the castle. As soon as they entered Mary's governess reached out to take Mary from the Queen's arms so she could take her up to her crib. Catherine looked rather sad but knew that if she took Mary around court it would disturb her slumber and now that she slept for long hours at night, she couldn't risk upsetting her and having her cries fill the castle at night, no one would get any rest. She wanted to write a few letters to her nephews and nieces as to apologise for not going to the funerals and inform them of the situation. It was best if she had them on her side and not against her.
-I want to write a few letters, maybe you would like to accompany me?
-To your… chambers? It wouldn't be wise.
-You won't be in my bed-chamber if that's what you are afraid of, besides I'll have my ladies with me if you feel that being with me alone would too much.
-I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I do want to accompany you.
She smiled and took his hand guiding him to the upper floors and into her rooms. She was still very upset, but she was so used to smiling and making it look as if everything was fine that the moment Thomas closed the door, she threw herself at him, her arms around his neck as she let the tears fall. It had been very hard for her to talk with Wolsey, that man seemed to hate her just as much as she hated him, but she wanted to do something not just for their souls but for hers as well. She had wanted to cry so much as she talked with him but kept her regal attitude the entire way. Now she just needed it and Thomas loved her, he wouldn't judge her just hold her, unlike Henry. Why couldn't he do that? Why couldn't he love her? After a few minutes, she raised her head and looked at him. He handed her a handkerchief so she could dry her face, putting herself together.
-I'm sorry about my emotional display, but I'm still upset and in mourning.
-I'm no position to judge you, your Majesty. You asked me to join you so you wouldn't be alone am I right?
-Henry is angry, I know it and too proud to come to me but I… I really do not wish to be alone right now.
-You would prefer for him to be here instead of me. I'm not offended, he is your husband.
-Why loving him hurts so much Thomas? I feel as if he's consuming me. – Henry was at the other side of the door with his hand in a fist as if he were about to knock on the door. He had really caused her pain?
-Henry is a very complicated man.
-He used to give me gifts, flowers, take me to places around England. He used to whisper sweet I love yous in my ear and hold my hand as a sign to tell me that everything would be alright. If only our little boy hadn't died. I love him so much that it breaks my heart every day seeing him with… her. I've even heard that she's expecting already.
-And you? Are you expecting?
-It's not possible Thomas. Mary is two months and a few weeks old, well almost three months and Henry hasn't been with me…
-Your Majesty?
-He did come to my bed a few weeks ago, but it wouldn't possible, would it? I've always had so much trouble with my pregnancies. It would be a miracle for me to conceive so soon after Mary's birth.
-Should I ask for a physician to come and check you?
-What do we have to lose? I'm not with child but I assume that it's best to confirm it. And even if I were, he would still remain by her side. She's way more important for him than I am. I thought he was happy with me, I tried so very hard to be his perfect wife and, in the end, I failed, she holds his affections and I've become an old toy that no one wants anymore. It's in moments like this that I miss my family so. I think I should start on those letters; you can sit wherever you please.
He had forced her a few weeks ago after having argued with her and never thought of the possibility of her getting in the family way after that. He had been so mad that he hadn't even thought about her feelings, whether he was hurting her… He might become a father; how didn't he think of it? She had hoped for him to be beside her during these trying times and he had failed her. She loved him so much she had known about his mistresses for years and still had kept quiet. She had given him her life and what had he been doing all these years? No wonder she was treating him so badly.
-Your Majesty…
-Please, don't ask me.
-What do you think I was going to ask you, your Majesty?
-Would I be willing to leave him if his mistress had a son?
-I wouldn't have put that way, but… would you, your Majesty?
-I'm sorry but… I can't leave him, even if he treats me the way he does. I love him so much, maybe too much. My sister Juana was said to have gone mad because she loved her husband so much, she couldn't stand his affairs. I wouldn't go mad. I would rather die than lose him or leave him.
-I'm sorry for having asked, I can see that this upsets you very much. I'm very sorry your Majesty.
Henry rested his back against the stone wall as he tried to process all the things he had just heard. She would prefer death over a divorce. This nonsense with Anne had to end, she had seduced him, she had made him lust after her, but the main problem wasn't her, it was him. He would try his best to win her back, but maybe she would think he was going back with her for her newfound position of power inside the continent. He wanted to get his wife back but maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't want him back after all the pain he had caused her. Henry walked slowly to his own chambers and motioned for everyone to leave him alone. He needed to think.