"What can you do when your good isn't good enough
and all that you touch tumbles down?
cause my best intentions
keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
but how many times will it take?
oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?" ©
Glee Cast – Get It Right
Ella Lopez, one certain forensics expert, could not imagine herself working in a place other than that Los Angeles homicide department. She loves her job. She loves being drowned in difficult cases, she loves dealing with tricky situations, she loves to predict the possible outcome of the situation, and, of course, she loves her colleagues. Even the most insufferably adorable and dorky ones!
And what's more? Ella Lopez notices far more things than anyone from the department could ever imagine. One may call it professional deformation. Perhaps, a rather natural talent. Maybe it is a highly developed intuition? Ella lets her friends think whatever they want, she knows the answer to her "superpower" – she knows how to listen to the things a person wouldn't say, and she knows how to deal with siblings, no matter young or old ones.
So, deep in her heart, Ella treats her friends like she used to treat her own brothers: she is always ready to help, always ready to cheer the poor thing up, always ready to give some crazy advice, and, of course, she is always ready to hug. And her colleagues are happy to participate because they consider Ella their personal ray of sunshine. All of them but one.
When Ella first met this artistic and mind-blowingly handsome British snob in three-pieces suits, of course, she didn't believe a single thing he would say about himself. Maybe, he liked to play pretend or had a talent for drama? Ella doesn't like to judge, not that time, not ever, so she lets him act and observes him carefully, instead.
Ella always was a believer, deep inside her heart, she was sure that Big Guy watched over her and that thought gave her power to cope with whatever life threw at her face. Her faith taught her to accept another people's fault, her faith taught her to understand without judging, and her faith taught her that Bit Guy always had a plan. And if that plan put her on the path of some supernatural creature that claims himself the devil, so be it.
At first, Ella notices his red eyes when he interrogates some ugly-faced drug dealer, who refuses to answer Detective questions properly and seems to be implicated in the attempted murder. When Chloe leaves the room to take a break, Lucifer grabs the criminal's shirt and presses his face inches from his. His eyes are bright red and the dealer calls for his Mom in a second. Ella takes a closer look at things that follow.
And there are many well-hidden revelations.
He never lies, he just sidesteps the truth. Ella notices everything: his badly played romance with Chloe, his red-rimmed, swollen eyes as if he hasn't slept in days, his short temper when she accepted Marcus' marriage proposal. His lost demeanor after Marcus was killed. His forlorn state of almost depression when Chloe left to no particular destination. Lucifer laughs and jokes recklessly, but Ella knows all familiar self-hatred when she sees one. He thinks himself a misfit, no matter his superpowers or endless charms.
Lucifer reminds Ella of herself.
Yes, all these supernatural things shake her worldview greatly, but since childhood, she has been friends with a ghost, what could go wrong? So, when she finds Lucifer sitting morosely in her office, she just grabs a chair and sits beside him. Ella notices that his hands are shaking; there are dark bags under his eyes and his whole demeanor looks pretty disheveled. When he turns his head to look at her, his eyes shine red. To her credit, Ella doesn't even flinch.
"How could anyone accept me like this?" Lucifer mutters absentmindedly. Ella is sure, he doesn't even notice her presence.
"Like what, Bro?" she asks instead. Ella is no therapist but she knows the importance of a good heart-to-heart.
"Like this!" Lucifer shrugs in response and stares at Ella, "Spare me; you know everything about me, right? You've found out a long ago, so now you are just waiting for the right moment to proclaim me a monster and run away, like…like… Detective"
Ella suppresses the immediate desire to rush to him and hug him tightly.
"Like what, Bro?" Ella repeats softly, touching his hand. He flinches.
"This, Miss Lopez, this whole thing about me! Detective hates me, she ran away the instant she saw my devil face and blood-covered hands, no need to say now that everything is fine, that I understood her wrong and nothing bad happened. You'll run away too. I should have anticipated this", Lucifer answers, his eyes downcast.
"You know, Lucifer, I'll tell you a fairytale instead of lecturing you with boring stuff. I will tell you about a girl, who had a lot of siblings, a very strict Abuela and parents always busy with something else. For all her life this girl had been struggling for a friend and for people to notice her, but instead, she was taken to the church, she was taught how to be a good girl and how to take care of her endless and reckless brothers. She didn't have any friends except, maybe, a strange girl who considered herself a ghost, Rae-Rae was her name; she was cute, a bit sad and crazy. So, the girl carried on with her life for she believed that Big Guy upstairs had a plan for everyone and everything and if he put her on a difficult path, then there was a reason for it. Things were tough but the girl kept fighting. One night she started a riot against her parents and her Abuela, she fought with them like crazy and she left her home. The girl rushed headlong into the temptations of LA. She stole cars and tasted all kinds of drugs, she had one-night-stands and she participated in bar-fights, but she kept her faith no matter how hard she hated herself. Until one night she lost her lover, he died from an overdose. That time she decided to change her life, no matter how hard she tried to carry on with her riot, everything could change if she only saw a glimpse of good in her soul. And, so she did. She scraped the last of her savings and applied for a college. She got a part-time job and stopped her way down the road of self-destruction, and you know why? Because she accepted herself with all her misfits and insecurities, and of course, because her Abuela taught her not to judge people and hug them instead. The girl's name was Ella Lopez and she accepts you, Big Bro, you only need to accept yourself. I am a rebel like you, Lucifer, so I know what it feels like when you try to convince the world that you are not a monster, especially when you couldn't convince yourself about this fact. But, you know, if Big Guy put me on your path, I'll share with you this road, and I'll show you that you are still my friend, no matter red eyes or bat wings."
"I am the devil, Ella," Lucifer whispers, squeezing her hand in response.
"You may be, but you are also an angel, try to remember that fact from time to time," Ella laughs and rushes to hug him, "She'll understand it too one day, your Detective because she is as stubborn and insecure as you are, but I'll help you put yourself together"
"Why?"
"Because I'm your friend, and I have an Angel of Death for a guardian angel, I know how to deal with strange and supernatural stuff"
"And you give the best hugs", he admits reluctantly.
"That's what friends are for, Big Bro, for accepting you when you don't remember how to do so!"
Ella hugs him once again and he smiles: she is right and he'll learn to follow her advice. Step by step, slowly and insecurely, but he is not alone, maybe she is right about the Big Plan as well?
Who knows?
He has a friend now and this is all that matters.
8.04.2020