Author's Note: I hope that when the semester ends, I can get back to more story-oriented clichés.

Disclaimer: Does Batman really expect himself to be able to take on Superman just by having Krpytonite on his person? If so, all rights to Batman belong to DC Comics, Cartoon Network, Bob Kane and Bill Finger.

Flash sighed as he listened to Batman continue going off against the League after the stupid fiasco that he was responsible for. Yeah, the League's powers would be dangerous in the wrong hands but placing all of the countermeasures in the Batcave?! Did Batman not expect someone to break in?

"– you need to be contained," Batman finally ended his rant.

"That's not fair!" Captain Marvel protested, "You have countermeasures on almost everyone here and we don't have a countermeasure on you."

"The Justice League is my countermeasure," Batman said.

All was quiet.

"So, what you're saying is that in the event you went rouge, our only hope is that you wouldn't use all of those countermeasures on us that were just exploited by some lunatic villain in your gallery because you're just trying to get out of admitting that you didn't think this plan through and refuse to take responsibility for everything that's happened?" Captain Marvel frowned, "I feel so much better, I feel like I'll be able to sleep soundly in my bed."

Batman stared at him.

Captain Marvel glared at him and tapped his forehead, "Believe it or not, that actually wasn't the Wisdom of Solomon in play. That was my common sense!"

"Captain, I –"

"Shut up and admit you were wrong!" Captain Marvel snapped. Flash looked at Black Canary for reassurance but saw that she was taking a step back.

"Those countermeasures –" Batman began.

"WERE UNCALLED FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Captain Marvel suddenly shouted, "I LOOKED UP TO YOU! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! WHAT DID THE LEAGUE EVER DO TO DESERVE THAT STUPID PLAN IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

Batman had the decency to look down, like a scolded child.

Flash felt his heart flutter in his chest. He'd always seen Captain Marvel with a chipper grin, almost childish like Wally's, and for a time, the League assumed that was his default setting. Captain Marvel took a deep breath and exhaled, his voice becoming colder,

"There was no reason you should have done this in the first place, Batman. No reason at all."

"There is the possibility of brainwashing –"

"Then why didn't you just tell us in the first place?"

"…"

"Because he just wanted to feel superior to us, as usual!" Hal Jordan spat out.

"Hal!" Wonder Woman protested.

"He could have told us this idea beforehand, so we could have helped, but nooo, Batman doesn't work with people. Batman don't care. Batman just takes what he wants!"

"If you think there isn't a need for this, you're wrong!" Batman snapped.

"You're so right," Hal sneered, "Batman is the most powerful hero in the world. No one could ever beat him, even with superpowers!"

"For once, we're on the same page, Hal."

There was a crack! and Flash saw that Superman had broken a piece of his end of the table by accident.

"You know what, Batman? How about you take us all on?!" Flash snapped. Batman looked at him, "I'm getting really sick and tired of you saying we need to be controlled when this was all your fault! If you really wanted to make countermeasures in a worst-case scenario, you should have just asked us for help!"

His face became blank for a moment, before his lips curled up. Flash felt his fingers twitch and he resisted the urge to strangle the idiot.

"Alright, then," Flash said in a false-sweet tone, "How about you take us on one by one? Just to see if your measures would actually work the way you would want them to. Or just to prove you're the best out of all of us, here."

Batman opened his mouth, but Flash cut him off,

"IT'S ON!"

"I'll get the chairs," Hal raised his hand.

"I'll get the camera!" Captain Marvel whooped.

"I will make the funeral arrangements," J'onn added.

Ten minutes later, the meeting room was cleared out of all furniture

Batman reached into his utility belt and as he pulled away, his costume started glowing green –

– before Superman took a deep breath and exhaled hard enough to push Batman across the room and slam into the wall. He started moving when he looked up and saw red eyes staring at him.

Superman sighed, "Honestly, Batman, do you really expect me to not anticipate that trick. Luthor's still using that trick, and it's been at least seven years since we became enemies."

"And the winner is Superman!"

"But we hadn't even –"

"SUPERMAN!"

XXX

"AHHHH!"

"Batman, do you yield?"

"YES, I YIELD! I YIELD!"

"Wow, if Diana could hold him in that grapple for two hours, how long do you think he'd last in bed with her?"

"…"

"What?"

"No…just…no, Hal…"

"Winner of this round is Wonder Woman!"

Batman and Martian Manhunter stared at each other, neither of them making a move, but a box of Oreos had drifted in front of Manhunter's face with the lid open.

Munch! Munch! Munch!

"Any time, now," Superman sighed. To his left, Hal and John Stewart were playing Rock-Paper-Scissor with their Green Lantern rings – John already won five games so far – while Red Tornado watched, Captain Marvel looked at the box of Oreos in front of Martian Manhunter with a hungry expression, Wonder Woman still smiling in satisfaction for her victory while Black Canary had a knowing smirk on her face.

"Are you going to start fighting, or is this some kind of mental battle?" Captain Marvel yawned.

"No," Martian Manhunter said, "I simply immobilized him with my telekinesis."

Captain Marvel stood up, "Wait, then what's with the Oreos?"

"Flash has not returned yet and I was hungry."

Superman shook his head, "J'onn, I think that's against the rules. Batman was supposed to take us on one by one."

"I already won, I simply wanted to do something else in the meantime," Martian Manhunter said vaguely.

Black Canary chuckled, "You can blame me for this, Superman. I put the idea in his head."

A red streak blurred in front of Martian Manhunter, leaving behind a laptop.

"WhatdidImiss?" Captain Marvel yelped as he heard the voice talking behind him. He glared at Flash, sheepishly smiling back.

Captain Marvel groaned, "J'onn had Batman beat with the TK stuff and said he was waiting for you. Oh, he also summoned Oreos, too."

"Nice," Flash smiled.

"And now," Martian Manhunter said, "the true entertainment begins."

He walked over to the laptop, opened it up and typed on the keyboard.

"Don't worry about the volume, J'onn, it's at its highest," Flash called out to him.

"Excellent," Martian Manhunter nodded. Black Canary's chuckles slowly turned to laughter. Captain Marvel and the Lanterns slowly moved away from her.

Accordion music started playing for a few moments before an ensemble of instruments joined in. At the same time, Batman was mimicking a chicken and squatting a few times. Then, as the music started increasing in tempo, he opened and closed his hands a few times, mimed flapping wings, shimmied downwards before concluding by clapping three times in the air.

He repeated the action several more times until the music changed, swaying to the music and kicking his legs in the air. Black Canary's laughter became maniacal, Captain Marvel joining her and laughing even harder.

"J'onn," Batman growled over the music, "This isn't funny. You already proved your point!"

"No," Martian Manhunter shook his head sadly, "I have not."

"You already beat me before we even started," Batman said as he continued dancing, clapping his hands again, "What is the whole point of this?!"

"I believe the term is, 'knocking you down a few pegs,' and I am thoroughly enjoying it," J'onn sounded solemn, but Black Canary could see the smirk he was trying to hide.

Hal and John began laughing too, while Wonder Woman and Superman looked at each other with wide eyes.

"The winner is J'onn…that's your cue to stop, now…"

"Never," J'onn ate another Oreo as Batman started slapping his butt in rhythm to the music. Superman groaned and looked away.

Batman stared at Dinah for a few moments before he raised his hands in defeat.

"Batman, you haven't even done anything yet."

"Because she is clearly going to use her Canary Cry on me, and it would kill me at this close range, so I am not even going to try anything."

"Not even one little attempt?"

"My experiences back in Gotham have taught me one thing: Never screw with a woman pissed beyond rational thinking. She will overpower you no matter what."

"Oh," Black Canary's grin stretched out a little more, "So you do take hints."

"What about her countermeasure?" Captain Marvel called from the sidelines.

"She was just inducted and the reason we're all still standing here right now," Superman said, "Batman never made one for her because she wasn't a part of the League at the time."

He glared at Batman at the end.

"Captain, I just wanted to say that –"

"Yes?" Captain Marvel smiled, holding a large anvil above Batman, feigning the motion of dropping it a few times.

"…I have no countermeasure to fight you with, either…"

"Helps being the new guy on the team!" Captain Marvel said, still holding the anvil threateningly.

"And the winner is Captain Marvel."

"Batman…" Hal asked when they made it to Gotham.

"…"

"Where'd you get this warehouse?" Hal asked again.

"…"

"And why is it yellow?" John added.

"…"

"And why are you yellow?" John stared, eyes wide.

"To counteract your rings," Batman said, scratching his left cheek – which was also yellow – and held up a glass, "Would you like some lemonade?"

"…"

"Or tortilla chips?"

"…"

"Or cheddar cheese?"

"…"

SLAM!

"Is Hal always going to act like that?"

"You mean walk away while he still has a chance to stay sane?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of running away like a baby."

"Grow up."

"HEY BATS!" Hal's voice came from outside, "WHAT'S BIG AND HEAVY AND NOT YELLOW?"

"…"

"…"

"IT'S THE BATMOBILE I'M GOING TO THROW INTO THIS WAREHOUSE!"

"And that's my cue to leave," John ran out the door. Batman heard a click! and felt fear. He didn't have time to paint all of his gear yellow and only had his fists.

A moment later, the Batmobile crashed in and Batman rolled out of the way, wondering why he thought Hal would have fought him in the yellow-painted warehouse like he thought he would.

Robin was going to throttle him for making him paint the whole place by himself. Alfred would make him clean it up by himself.

Painting the cockroaches was a nice touch, though.

"Flash, I just want to say –"

"I win."

"No, I was going to – where is my utility belt?"

"Here," Flash held it up, "Super-speed, remember?"

"Oh…"

"By the way, exactly how were you going to get that thing on me that would make me lose control over my powers? You're not a Speedster!"

"…"

"And the winner is –"

POW!

"– Flash!...someone get a doctor, I think he broke Batman's jaw…"

"Did you want to see how Batman could handle himself against the League or were you just looking for an excuse to beat the living daylights out of Batman?" Captain Marvel raised an eyebrow as he looked at Flash. Batman had gone home after finally conceding that he wasn't the best and apologized – Hal wasn't that convinced – and gave the League all the information he had on the countermeasures for future reference.

"Yes."

"Yes does not count as a legitimate answer, Flash!"

Author's Note: What started out as simply mocking the idea that Batman could beat the entire Justice League because "He is so fucking awesome 'cause he's Batman and all" turned into a jab at Batman's response at the end of Justice League: Doom, where he stated that the League was his countermeasure in the event that he would turn rogue.

And yes, I know that there is additional material that explained that the League could use his parents as a way as well as "threaten" his friends and family, but the movie – which I did not watch, but am familiar with the scene at the end – kind of copped out of Batman admitting he was wrong and hand-waved the logic of not having a plan set up for himself.

Captain Marvel was not in the film, neither was Canary. But since the character designs were used for Young Justice as well, I will take it.

Why does everyone think Superman is helpless against dealing with Kryptonite after so many years of experience? Yes, Batman wasn't close enough, but he seems to think Kryptonite is the only insurance he needs against Superman when he isn't taking into account that Superman has faster reflexes and long-distance abilities.

Probably not the last time I will reference The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. Kind of fun, though. Sorry for the poor quality, six courses is exhausting right now. But I thought it was pretty funny, overall. It pays to channel SpoonAndJohn into my humor. Check out their stories, they are really entertaining. :)