As soon as she closed the door, she threw her dress across it in frustration before pacing up and down. How dare he say he had the right to have power over her kingdom?! She hated him so much that she was really thinking about forbidding him to go out of the palace just so she could have a few moments to herself without wondering if he would cheat on her, again, but that would only make matters worse. He was probably mad at her, maybe even furious and she didn't want to create a bigger argument than the one she was sure they would have in the morning. He most certainly didn't care about what she had said and would try so hard to either change her mind or force her into crowning him no matter what. He wouldn't use Mary against her to achieve his plans, would he? She had been terrified of something like this happening since she had got the news of her newfound position of power a few weeks ago because she knew him. If he really wants her out of the way he'll end up doing it, she was sure of it.
Henry would not come tonight to her bed, he would probably remain awake for many hours thinking about what she had said but she wanted to be with someone, she felt in danger and lonely, and so she opened the door and asked one of the maids to send Thomas in, that she had some things to discuss with him. Catherine grabbed her robe from the foot of the bed before sitting in front of her vanity watching her reflection; her hair was in a bit of disarray, her hairpins all over the place and locks out of the intricate hairdo falling down her back. Slowly she undid it, brushing her raven locks carefully while her eyes locked with the ones that stared up from the mirror. Her lips were slightly swollen but apart from that she looked perfectly normal on the outside, on the inside she felt horrible. At the sound of the door opening she turned slightly on her chair watching as Thomas entered the room. He had a deep hurt glow in his eyes, but he bowed politely at her which made Catherine feel even worse about the events that had transpired just a few minutes ago.
-You wished to see me?
-Please. – she extended her arms in his direction as her eyes filled with tears. She was just so tired of everything and the only one who seemed to bring some kind of happiness was Thomas, Henry only brought pain.
-Your Majesty?
-My name is Catherine. Please Thomas.
-What's wrong Catherine? I heard you and Henry in your study. I thought you would be happy. – he kneeled in front of her taking her hands as he saw the tears fall slowly from her eyes.
-We shouldn't have done anything, I know. I feel horrible about it already Thomas so don't make any comments.
-But isn't this what you wanted? For Henry to go back to you?
-Yes, for Henry to come back to me, but this isn't Henry. I was right Thomas, I was right.
-Right about what? Catherine, tell me, what's wrong?
-What I told you about on the ship, what I suspected Henry was doing… I was right.
-He told you?
-He insinuated that he had the right to be crowned King and have power over my kingdom. He wants it and I know that if I don't do something about it he will get rid of me to get it. Why is he doing this Thomas? He wasn't like this before.
-I don't know. He's changed and not even I can understand what he's doing no more. He's a different man Catherine.
-I gave him what he wanted, I've slept with him and I know it was a mistake. He'll think that we are going to do it over and over again, that I've gone back to him, that he'll have his way with me and that's it, back to square one. I hate this Thomas, so much.
-You are exhausted, why don't you try to get some sleep?
-But I haven't seen Mary since we got here.
-I checked on her after I left you with Henry and she was fine, asleep in Lady de Salinas room. But if you want her to be moved here, I'm sure it can be arranged.
-Maybe tomorrow, let her sleep for now, you know how restless she's been in the past few days because of wind.
-Of course. Do you want me to do something else? Maybe I could stay here while you read or pray. It might make you feel safer.
-I didn't say I felt in danger or…
-But you do, don't you?
-I… How do you always know what's in my mind?
-I don't know, I just do. You feel threatened by Henry, don't you?
-Right now, I don't know if he's going to… I said some things to him in the mist of it all and I might have upset him greatly.
-What did you say?
-I told him that I was the one in control now and that he was no longer my priority. I gave him two options; he either stays and changes his ways or he can go back to England, but if he does, he'll have to face the consequences.
-Consequences?
-I know, I know… It was so stupid of me Thomas.
-What did you tell him?
-That I would stop all the imports and exports and decrease his income because I'm still Queen of England. Please, don't say it, I know you are thinking I'm stupid.
-I don't think so. I agree with you on what you've told him. He has to understand that when he does things there are consequences and that he has to face them on his own. Maybe it will open his eyes.
-I hope so because I'm getting tired of fighting with him. It feels as if I'm punching a stone wall all the time. He wouldn't try to hurt me or declare me mad like they tried to do with my sister, would he?
-There's still the baby, yours, not Anne's, and if you give him a son, he won't be able to push away, and if he tries, he's not thinking about the people. The English love you and if they saw that they King is trying something against you and the future heir they could start a rebellion.
-That's the last thing I want to cause. I don't want to hurt Henry, you know that.
-You are too good for him. If I were you, I would hurt him to teach him a lesson, but I don't quite grasp what you are trying to do to him.
-I thought I knew that I was trying to ignore him and make him want me and what have I been doing in the past few days? I'm just so confused, tired and stupid.
-Stop calling yourself stupid Catherine. You are the smartest person I know, the most beautiful, kindest and fairest as well. If you don't want to continue doing this with Henry maybe you should consider some sort of agreement.
-You mean sort of like break up even though we'll still be married?
-Yes. You'll be allowed to live your own life and he'll have his, but you'll still be Queen and his wife. Maybe you could think about it.
-No, this is not a question of being Queen or not. I love him and if I did that, he could try to have an annulment in bases that I had left him and taken the children with me and knowing the Pope as I do, he might do it.
-The Pope is on your side; I hope you know that.
-I do, but he's a very traditional man and he could grant it just because I'm here and Henry is in England. I'm going to try and save my marriage even if it's the last thing I do. Call me stubborn but I was raised to be his wife and Queen and I'm not throwing all that out the window because I want to finally have a relaxed life with my children and I most certainly won't have my children being called bastards in favour of Anne's. I accepted when I married Arthur that I would not have a tranquil life but all that went out the window when Henry proposed because I thought that with him things would be different. He was the brother; he was never really meant to have the crown and out of the blue he had me and a kingdom. After the first miscarriage I went back to thinking that my life was never going to be a calm one and then little Henry happened, and nothing has been as before since then.
-It's your own decision and I will be beside you. Whatever you think it's the right thing to do for you and your life I'll accept it. It pains me greatly to see you like this, but you loved Henry enough to jump into the sea to save his life, and that's not something many people would have done. I would have jumped into a volcano for Alice.
-But she never told you that your marriage was a lie and it had never existed because it wasn't legal. Thomas, I've seen him turn into this blood lusted creature that goes around beheading people just because he wants to. I'm scared for Mary and the baby I'm going to have because what if he sentences them to death? He can't touch me, I know it, even though he could kill me in many other ways, but I'm not important. Thomas, please, protect them. If something were to happen to me please, hide them, make sure Henry can't hurt them.
-I will, don't worry Catherine. And I'll make sure you are safe as well.
A knock on the door disturbed them, Thomas pulling his hands away and standing a few feet away and Catherine turning back to her vanity, picking up her handkerchief to dry her face as a maid came in, the young girl looking scared, white as the dead.
-Your Majesty, please, come, hurry.
-What is it? – the reflection of the girl in the mirror made Catherine think that something was wrong with Mary.
-It's his Majesty. He's screaming and throwing things in his chambers. Lady Clithering tried to calm him down but he threw a goblet at her. She has a nasty bump on her forehead.
Catherine quickly got up, her robe ruffling against the stone wall as she ran to Henry's chambers. As soon as she turned the corner, she heard his voice, loud, and the sound of things falling and breaking. If he had suffered from these episodes of anger before Catherine certainly hadn't known about them and it disturbed her greatly that he thought he had the right to make such a scene just because for once someone said no. Shaking slightly she pushed the door open and if it hadn't been for Thomas' quick reflexes a tray would have fallen right on her face, but it hit him right on the back. Catherine quickly pushed Thomas aside to look at the scenery that laid before her. Most of the furniture had been pushed around the room or knocked over, goblets, trays and decorations on the floor, some of them broken. Henry's face was red and his breathing rapid, perspiration dripping down his forehead and chest his shirt ripped hanging from his shoulders, his eyes fixed on her figure.
-Get out!
-What on Earth is going on here?
-If you don't go, I'll kill you! – Henry picked a shattered piece of glass from the floor and pointed it at Catherine, blood dripping from his hand. Thomas was about to put himself between him and her when he felt her hand pushing him behind her.
-What ails you Henry? – she took a few steps in his direction, Henry not moving from his spot with the sharp glass.
-Get back or I'll kill you! Go!
-I didn't mean to upset you this much but I can't change my mind or what has been said.
-I'll kill you Catherine! Get the hell out!
-Kill me if you want Henry. – her voice was calm and steady as she stood right before him, her head held high but her eyes smiling sadly at him. – What has been decided can't be changed.
-You can change anything you want! You are the one in control, you said so stupid bitch! – he jumped over her, the glass on her neck as he grabbed her wrist with his free uninjured hand.
-Kill me if you want Henry but know that you'll be killing your future son or daughter as well. I won't use the child against you, but he or she deserves to live. If you really want to kill me, get rid of me forever so you'll be free to marry whoever you like, wait until the child has been born to do it. His or her life is more precious to me than my own.
Henry held her for a few seconds before he loosened his grip on her wrist. Catherine carefully reached for the glass, slowly managing to take it from his bloodied fingers and throwing it to the other side of the room where it shattered to really small pieces, small droplets of blood falling over her pale skin. Now that they were almost a few inches away she saw that his face was wet, streams of tears running down his cheeks, his body trembling. It took him several seconds to realise that he had let go of her hand and walked backwards towards the other side of the room.
-Henry, stay where you are, you are going to cut your feet if you move.
-Why are you being so difficult?
-I'm not being difficult; I'm doing the right thing. Please, sit down, I want to look at your hand.
-I don't need your help.
-Well, go outside so the maids can clean your room, at least. You can't walk around broken glass.
-What do you care? Just leave me alone!
-Is that really what you want? To be left on your own? – Henry paced up and down, kicking things with his feet before he sat down on the floor in the middle of the room, his head resting on the palm of his uninjured hand.
Her shoes made very little noise as she walked to him the sound of glass being crushed underneath her feet the only noise that could be heard over Henry's breathing. Blood was dripping from his hand onto the floor, but he was too numb to actually feel any physical pain; his heart felt as if it had been ripped from his chest. He always assumed that she would be beside him forever, that she would stay with him no matter what but she had actually told him he was free to go, free to go back to England with Anne and his future child but she would punish him for it. She had given him a choice, what he had always wanted even if she remained his wife and Queen to the eyes of everyone else, but he couldn't let go, she made him feel safe and loved, and even if he jumped from woman to woman she would always be there to help him back on his feet. At the end of the day she would be the one waiting for him.
-I don't want to see you… Just go Catherine.
-I'll go after I've had a look at your hand. It could get infected and I'm sure you don't want that to happen. – she sat next to him but didn't touch him, she didn't want him to push her away or start yelling at them all, throwing things again.
-You'll let me be after you've looked at it.
-Alright. Thomas, would you bring me some cloth and rum?
-Shouldn't we call for a doctor your Majesty?
-That won't be necessary. I've dealt with things like this before. Please, Thomas.
Reluctantly he pushed everyone away from the door and walked swiftly to the kitchen, Henry, on the other hand, had not moved a muscle and for Catherine that was a bad sign. He was bleeding quite a bit and he didn't even seem to realise what was going on, not even acknowledged that she was right next to him. Carefully she tried to touch his hand, but he pulled away with a hiss. After a few seconds she tried again, this time managing to take hold of his wrist, his warm and sticky blood making its way to her fingers.
-Can you open it for me? Henry, I need to see your cut. – slowly he opened his hand, a deep and long cut gracing his entire palm. – This must hurt, and it should be stitched, so I will do as Thomas asked and call for a doctor in the morning. In the meantime, I'll clean it and bandage it, is that alright?
-Do what you want. I don't care.
-I think you should spend a few weeks in solitude Henry. Maybe you should go to Segovia. There's a secluded castle there that's used for hunting in autumn. I'm sure you'll like it. You can take as many English servants as you want, I don't have trouble communicating with the staff, but you might.
-Do I have a saying on this or are you still ordering me about?
-I'm giving you time to think Henry. You can leave whenever you want and return once you've made a decision. – Thomas placed a bowl with water, some cloth and two bottles of rum next to her making his way to the door but staying there, just in case she needed something else and to make sure Henry didn't try to hurt her. – Can you put your hand in the bowl for me Henry?
-The water is warm. – it stung a bit as the transparent liquid turned red in the matter of just a few seconds. When Catherine pulled his hand out of it, she saw that the cut was indeed deep and would require stiches, but she was glad this time she would not be the one doing that.
-This is going to hurt and I'm sorry, but I need to clean it. Just stay still. – opening the bottle with her mouth she poured the Ambar coloured liquid over his hand; he muffled his screams with his free hand, sweat dripping from his forehead as she emptied half of the rum. – The worst is over Henry. I'm just going to bandage it and then I'll go.
-Why do you want me to leave?
-I don't want you to leave, but it's the best for everyone. You need time to think and I need time to sort things out. In the long run you'll see that it's the best option.
-Am I not enough? Now that you are Queen you think you can have whoever you want?
-Not everything is about that Henry. I will not engage in another stupid argument because is going to take us nowhere. I've told you; you can leave whenever you want and return once you've made a decision, and regardless of how much it might hurt I will accept it because this is no longer about us. I've got a daughter to think about and my own people to take care of. With all the pain in my heart I have to choose what's easy and what's right and you are not easy at all. There, you are settled for the night. Please, don't make any more scenes, I'm quite tired and would like to get some rest.
-I didn't ask you to come. I don't need your stupid help.
-I know you are more than capable, but I'm your wife, and even if it pains me, I don't like seeing you like this. Think about this Henry; what if Mary were older and saw you like this? She would be so upset.
-She's a baby, she can hardly keep her eyes open after having had her milk. How on earth is she going to remember this?
-This is why I want you to leave and be on your own. Mary is your child as well, and sometimes you make it look as if you hardly know who she is. Call for the doctor in the morning and pack your things. I won't be here by the time you wake up.
-You do want me to leave! You want to be on your own with Thomas?!
-How dare you? I won't allow you to call me a whore Henry. You are leaving tomorrow and that's final. I can't have you around anymore. I just can't, and believe me, it's breaking my heart more than you think. I'm sorry. You can say goodbye to Mary before you leave. - Picking up the bowl, the cloth and the bottles she made her way to the door her breath shaking as she tried so very hard to keep her tears at bay. – Believe me Henry, this is going to be way harder for me. I'm sorry, really, I am.
Walking all the way to the end of the corridor she left the bowl and the rum on a very worn out wooden table that was covered in a very thin blanket of dust. Thomas was behind her, his hands on her shoulders feeling her body shaky as tears stained the dusty table. Suddenly she pushed him away and took the half-emptied bottle of rum, taking a very long sip before she put it back down and locked herself in her room, her sobs loud through the corridor.