Title: A Strange Piece of Paradise
Genre: Romance / Drama
Rating: M
Pairing: Naruto x Neji (Kiba x Hinata, Lee x Sakura, semi-brief Naruto x Ino, Temari x Tenten, mentions potential Shikamaru x Ino)
Spoilers: N/A
Summary: When you are a king, you can make as many ridiculous laws as you like. That is what being a king is all about.
Word Count: 9,618
Warnings: AU – the tumblr prompt alone should clue you in that this is like, a really strange place my head went. Because, honestly, this was the first thing that I thought of.

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. Summary is a quote from The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo.

A/N: Tumblr prompt was: "Fake relationship AU. Man was once an amazing soldier, but can no longer go up the ranks so the king is like, "listen, you can be my strategy dude, you just have to be okay walking around shirtless a lot." Also, this was supposed to be a decent length oneshot. I'm sorry. I got carried away.

Konoha is a prosperous kingdom, by all accounts. They have a large forested region, full of game and medicinal herbs. There are rolling fields that, depending on the time of year are dotted with sheep or cattle, or green lines of corn or golden rows of wheat. They have several hot springs that are well-known tourist destinations, and a famous author lives within the borders.

But all of those things make for happy civilians with full bellies, make for interested tourists with full purses. What makes the kingdom formidable is its army, headed by a king who, according to every foreign traveler, was an idiot.

"We can't lead a frontal assault then." There's a pregnant pause. "Jiraiya and I are going to the hot springs."

"But sire," a harried looking advisor starts, "surely you can reconsider."

Uzumaki Naruto, resplendent in robes of red and white, pouts. "But there are so many pretty girls at the hot springs." The pretty girl in his lap giggles when he gives her a suggestive look.

Neji, standing at rigid attention towards the back of the conference room, clears his throat. When a dozen heads swivel in his direction, he straightens his back. "With all due respect, councilors," he nods at them, before addressing the Hokage. "I think you are wise to not wise to make your move then." The advisors all frown at him, but Uzumaki quirks a brow upwards in interest, beckoning for him to continue. Neji picks a spot over his shoulder to stare at, to avoid looking directly into the sky-blue eyes. "That evening is a full moon, so our troop's movement would be blatantly visible to our enemies. Much better to wait for a more opportune moment."

There is a smile twitches at the corners of his mouth, like a cat that ate the cream and his cerulean eyes are bright with interest as they look Neji over with intelligence. It takes a lifetime of training not to struggle under the look. Not to fidget and square his shoulders to show them off. "Quite so, Commander," he says. "Exactly my point." His appraising glance never wavers from Neji, who tries to act like he didn't just pull the rug out from underneath a panel of advisors and make the Hokage actually appear to know what he was doing for a brief moment.

"But, Hokage-sama," the same advisor starts, stepping forwards towards the dais towards the throne, "you must-"

Blue eyes turn to flint as the flicker towards the advisor and suddenly there is not playful boy on the throne, but a man who has been king his entire life. "And who are you to tell me what I must do?" There is a rumbling undercurrent in his voice that comes from deep within in. Neji twitches at the sound, a flood of interest shooting from his ears to his cock and he struggles to appear unaffected.

The advisor pales, a nervous sweat breaking out onto his forward. "N – no one, milord, I only meant – " he looks towards the other council members for support, but they advert their eyes and fidget away. "- that – that maybe there was a-another way – " He's trembling under that direct, narrow-eyed gaze.

But when Naruto suddenly flicks a switch and closes his eyes as he smiles, proclaiming "Well, why didn't you just say that?" the advisor sags in relief. "But what could we possibly do?"

A lithe, dark-haired man steps forward. "I propose a recon mission." He flicks a glance towards Neji. "Perhaps Commander Hyuuga?"

Neji frowns, knowing the question, as politely posed as it is, is covering a threat.

"But I thought we said that the enemy would be able to see every move one of our own made?"

Uchiha Itachi turns back to the Hokage with a slight bow. "But of course, milord, it is only my great esteem in the Commander's abilities that even cause me to propose such a plan."

Before Naruto can argue and drag this meeting out further, Neji speaks. "I would be honored to provide intel for, Hokage-sama."

Naruto's mouth snaps shut and he stares at Neji for a long moment, but Neji remains steadfast and resolute, standing at attention, even inch the decorated soldier he is. "Very well," he says slowly. "Make it so." When he stands, clearly ending the meeting, all the council members stand, as well. But Naruto is only looking towards his commander, a hint of premonition in his bright eyes. "See that you come back in one piece, Commander."

The mission starts so smoothly that Neji has momentary doubts. He thinks that maybe he should have advised an attack tonight, if the enemy is so incompetent that they do not even use the advantages that nature gives them. Perhaps he was wrong to instruct against it.

But then, the inevitable blade.

It comes so swiftly that Neji has barely time to register the twang of the arrow being loosed before he feels the impact. It's followed by several others in rapid fire and each blow is agony. His shoulder, his hip as he tries to shift away, his chest, his other shoulder. He's staggering away from the copse of trees where the enemy had hidden, just waiting for someone stupid enough to do exactly as he had just done. He can hear arrows thudding against the ground behind him as he finally escapes their range.

Gritting his teeth, he pauses to rip out the arrows. Blood spurts from the wounds, but the arrow in his hip snaps off and he doesn't have time to pry it loose, when, at any moment, Sound scouts could be coming closer. He knows he'll just have to deal with it until he reaches Konoha, but with every step he can feel the arrowhead grating against his hipbone, a dull scrap that makes every step full of burning pain. Nothing to do, though, but overcome it, and get back to Konoha alive.

He barely makes it past the checkpoint at the border, before collapsing in a bloody, unconscious heap at the feet of the guards.

When he wakes, bleary-eyed and aching in every muscle, his uncle is staring down at him, in full uniform as the general of the military. He does not look concerned or paternal or familial in anyway. Instead, he stares down at Neji as if he is his greatest disappointment.

"The arrow in your hip caused irredeemable damage to the bone. You will walk with a limp for the remained of your life. The paperwork for your honorable discharge from the military has already been completed."

He leaves before Neji has a chance to utter a word.

He's aware that his recovery period could be shorter, but it's hard to find the will to want to get better when he knows that there is nothing waiting for him when he's recuperated. The military was his life, there was nothing else he strived for, not family, not friends, not wealth or power. All he had ever wanted was to fight for his county to the best of his abilities. And now he didn't even have that.

"Aren't you better yet?"

Neji jerks at the voice, recognizing it instantly, and tries to rise from his chair in a fumbling attempt to stand at attention. "Your Highness!"

Naruto is already waving him off, seating himself in the opposite chair with artless grace, legs akimbo. Keen eyes watch in silence as Neji sits slowly, leaning all of his weight on his right leg and wincing as he settles into the chair. "Tsunade said you should be good to be discharged by now and move on." Neji avoids letting his eyes linger on the long legs.

"To what?" His eyes widen and he barely stops himself from slapping a hand over his mouth. "My apologies, my lord, I didn't mean – "

"Yes, you did." He doesn't seem upset. On the contrary, he continues watching Neji with interest, trying to understand something about him. "What do you want to do?"

He takes a moment to answer. "All I ever wanted to do, Hokage-sama, was serve Konoha in the military." To serve you, he says to himself.

"Do you still want to do that?"

Neji blinks. "Sir, my leg – "

"I didn't ask for an excuse, soldier. I asked if you still wanted to serve Konoha."

"Of course."

Naruto nods. "Good, because I mean to see that you do, in order to repay you for sending you on a mission you'd clearly advised against."

"That wasn't you fault, my lord."

"Yes it was, but I mean to make it right. So – you're willing to continue to serve, Commander?"

He straightens his back. "Yes, sir."

Naruto grins at him, and it's the same wide, charming smile that Neji has watched him used on council members for years suddenly turned on him and it's an effort not to smile back. But that would be unprofessional. "Great! So I've got a plan – but you have to be okay be topless a lot."

He blinks again. "I'm sorry?"

Naruto snaps his fingers and the door to the hospital room opens, allowing a slender blonde woman to slip in. She's wearing what could only sort of be called clothing – a long skirt that's slit on both sides up to her hip bones, and a scarf wound around her chest. Her long hair is intricately braided through with pearls and precious gemstones. Barely giving Neji a glance, she crawls into Naruto's lap as easily as a cat, the slit of her skirt falling open revealing a smooth leg. Naruto winds his arms around her waist, fingers brushing around her skin. "This is Ino."

As if Neji wouldn't know Naruto's favorite concubine. She was a well-established sight at council meetings and as the Hokage's date at functions. All of Konoha knew Ino. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he says, refusing to stare at what she has artfully displayed to her best advantage. It's not anything that he hasn't seen before and it's definitely nothing that he's interested in.

"I want you to do this."

Not all the time in the world could have made him give a composed answer. "What?"

Ino giggles, a sound like tinkling bells, flashing him a look from under long lashes. "He doesn't understand, sweetie."

"Then I had better explain it to him," Naruto says, letting one hand card through her hair. Neji, watching the motion, snaps back to reality, when Naruto continues. "Ino here has a very interesting talent – she knows all the gossip. And I mean all of it. Almost like she can see inside your head."

"That's… very interesting, sire."

"It means that when advisors and villagers and scullery maids try to lie to me, Ino can usually tell."

"Alright…"

"And luckily," Ino says, arching up so her lips are fluttering against Naruto's ear, "I'm right here to whisper those secrets into your ear."

"Quite right, dear."

Neji gapes at them. "You're using your concubine to gain information?"

Naruto shrugs, unrepentant. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"And the… others?" There are several. He, like the rest of the kingdom, just assumed that their king was… horny, for lack of a better word, but unwilling to settle down with a wife.

"Well, Sakura is an excellent medic, so she's on standby for when I don't need the masses or the advisors knowing about an injury. Hinata-chan is basically so sweet that no one ever yells in front of her, which is great for dealing with foreign diplomats. Tenten is a weapons expert, so she's my bodyguard when I need to look like I don't have a bodyguard. Temari is originally from Sand, so she is a liaison. Gaara and I actually traded concubines in order to be able to do that, if you can believe it."

Neji is trying very hard not to hyperventilate over how little he'd known about his king's concubines. How had this managed to escape his addition? Did all the advisors know?

"No one else knows about this, so I'll thank you kindly to not mention this little ruse."

"I – yes, my lord, of course. I – " Naruto gestures at him to continue when he pauses. "Have you ever had a male concubine before?" He hadn't, not to Neji's knowledge, but apparently there was a lot that he didn't know.

His eyes shutter closed. "Briefly. It… didn't work out." His smile is softer and Neji's chest clenches at the sight. He's already fairly certain he can't say no to those eyes. "But thankfully that means I've already changed all the laws that said concubines are for having children and you can't have male concubines. Now I can have you." Neji can see how he'd gotten so many women to share him, because how could he not say yes, when confronted with statements like that? "So, what do you say? Would you like to be my military expert, whispering in my ear?"

"Would I have to sit in your lap?" It's an intriguing thought that makes him twitch with interest, but he doesn't know if he could do that in front of a room of advisors, one of whom he's related to.

Ino giggles and shifts around tantalizingly from her perch. "It's fun, Commander – you never know what will pop up!"

Neji, his face flaming, doesn't answer.

"You're scaring him, dear. Besides," Naruto grins at him, feral and predatory, but with a mischievous spark in his eyes, "you could always sit at my feet."

In the end, Neji says yes, only because he really does not have any plan for his life without the military. And also because his king is attractive and it's nice to be wanted for even something as mundane as this. He spares a brief thought for what his uncle will say when he finds out his Commander nephew has decided to become a concubine for the king, but then decides he doesn't really care. As an extension of the royal family, Neji has suddenly become untouchable to his uncle, so there's nothing he can do about it.

It's Hinata who shows him around his new quarters the next week and, as he had never meet her before, he is shocked to recognize the telltale features of a Hyuuga. "Hello, cousin," she greets him with a sweet smile, and Neji can instantly see what Naruto meant. She inspires a strong, protective urge, so shy and adorable, was she. He gapes at her and she giggles. "Surprised to see another Hyuuga here?"

"Well, yes," he says frankly, as she walks him through the wing of the palace dedicated to the royal harem.

"Naruto-sama is very good to me," she says.

He can't make heads or tales of that statement, so merely makes a noise of agreement. As they walk Neji notes that there are rooms for many more women to be housed here then the five – now six – people who now call this place home. "There are many rooms here."

"Yes, the council used to think that the king would be led astray, to women of low bearing, when the queen was with child and not… available… to him." Neji understands her meaning. "Naruto-sama has no wife, so the advisors parade new woman for him to add to his harem every week, hoping one will catch his eye. Or hoping one of us is suddenly with child and can be bullied onto the throne."

"And the king doesn't want that?"

She shrugs, as they stop in front of one of the doors. "I don't know, honestly. We are not all privy to his innermost thoughts, Ino-chan would be the closest to him, the one he is the fondest of. But he is very careful to make sure to not get us with child, so I can only assume that is not something he wishes for."

Neji blinks. "How – "

Hinata giggles again. "By paying attention to our cycles, cousin." When he blushes, she giggles again. "Naruto-sama is going to love making you uncomfortable, I think. You'd better watch yourself."

She is not wrong, but in the first instance, it plays very much to their advantage.

Ino barges into his chamber two days later, sending him flying out of bed, gripping a sheet to his chest. "Calm down, Neji-kun, I'm sure as time goes by I'll see a lot more than your chest." He's appalled by the very thought, but she's already thrown some clothes at him and started to walk out. "Council meeting in twenty minutes. Naruto-sama wants you there. It's nothing important, but he wants to introduce them to you in your new role."

The outfit' is a pair of loose trousers and nothing else. Before Ino shoves him rudely through the council chamber doors, she ruffled his hair. Then he's inside, the door closing loudly behind him, making a dozen pairs of eyes to pivot right towards him.

Only Naruto breaks into a wide grin at the sight of him. "There's my new favorite concubine!"

"What?!" Evidently, Naruto had failed to announce this to his advisors, who all started scrambling to be hear over each other as they found reasons this was a terrible idea.

"GENTLEMEN!" The room falls abruptly silent, watching as Naruto gestures for Neji to come towards him, which he does in slow, halting steps. "You're forgetting one very important thing." When Neji reaches the throne he quirks an eyebrow so that only Neji can see, asking if it was to be the lap or the floor. Without a moment's thought, Neji sinks to his knees in front of the throne, assuming it was the safer of the two options. Naruto smirks slowly and leans forward until their faces are a mere breath apart. "He's so fucking pretty."

Neji isn't sure if it the proximity of their faces or the words or the fact that he can feel every syllable being brushed against his mouth by Naruto's lips, but he blushes so hot he feel faint with it. When he sways forward on accident, their lips blush and he's stupidly thankful that that the councilors can't see the way his eyes widen in shock. He pulls away swiftly, head down because he can't bear to look at his king, though he's sure it only serves to make him look demure and shy. When he glances up from under his lashes, both his uncle and Itachi are vibrating with rage. But they are saying nothing. What could they say? The king has spoken.

It gives him the strength to lean backwards and tilt his chin up defiantly. When Naruto immediately starts to card his fingers through Neji's long, dark hair, his eyes flutter on their own accord. It's so soothing he could easily fall asleep under the ministrations –

"Meeting adjourned!"

The sound of a gavel hitting a table startles Neji awake. He blinks blearily as the advisors all start to vacate the room, many of them throwing him dirty looks when they think Naruto won't see. "What – "

"That was definitely the easiest way I've seen to have a quiet meeting." When Neji tilts his head up to stare at him in confusion, Naruto throws back his head and laughs. Neji is still too muddled to turn his eyes away from the tanned column of throat. "You fell asleep, little commander."

He remembers soothing hands playing with his hair, the motion soft and repetitive. The soft cloth of Naruto's robes under his cheek, a smell like incense and smoke. His brain finally catches up. He blanches. "My apologies, my lord, I – "

Another laugh interrupts him. "No, it was perfect. I told them whoever woke you up was demoted and they were perfectly behaved the entire meeting. Also," he continues, standing and then tugging Neji to his feet, "you look adorable when you sleep." When his cheeks bloom with heat again, Naruto watches it happen in fascination. "And I've never met someone as easy to embarrass as you. How do you ever flirt with the ladies?" Neji glances away. "With the boys?" Nothing but silence greets the question and he can almost feel the incredulous gaze. "No one?!"

Neji frowns, trying to tug away from him, suddenly remembering that he's half-naked. "I was focused on my military career – "

"No, no, no – don't be made, I'm not making fun of you, I just – I wouldn't have asked this of you, if I had known." His eyes, when Neji looks back up, are earnest. "If this is too much for you, please, let me know, you can stay with the girls, but I won't ask anything of you, I promise."

Neji is silent for a long moment, thinking over what his life would be without this even small opportunity to potentially serve his country. His uncle, at worst, would disown him and he'd be left trying to make his own way as a cripple with no skills. At best, he'd find some terrible woman with no prospects to marry him off to. "My uncle was very upset," he finally settled for saying.

"Is that… a good thing?"

"I don't particularly care for my uncle."

Naruto stares at him, eyes flickering over his face, looking for something. "So… does that mean you'll stay?"

When he nods, it's jerky, but it's still a nod. Nothing prepares him for the loud, childish whoop Naruto gives before gripping him by the waist and hoisting him in a circle. It's over before he has time to process it and when Naruto sets him down, his head is spinning. "Great! That's awesome!" Naruto is grinning at him, a smile bright enough to grow grass. "Really, really awesome! It'll be so great, you'll see! It'll be – "

"Awesome?" Neji feels a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm going to make them regret they didn't offer you a job first."

Naruto walks him back to his quarters, ever a gentlemen. He is either blatantly ignoring or purposefully trying to instigate the solemn faced guard walking several feet behind them with his whispered terms of endearments or soft brushes against Neji's hair.

By the time the reach the harem, Neji is overwhelmingly relieved to see the girls pour out of their rooms. He's hot and flustered and he doesn't know why, but with all the females, Naruto shifts his attention away from Neji and towards them and he finally feels like he can breathe again.

"How'd you first council meeting with the king go?"

Ino appears beside him as silently as a thought. She's watching the other girls vie for Naruto's attention, calling out things they did that day or something they'd learned. He can't detect any hint of jealousy in here, only a fond amusement for them. "It was fine."

"Did you have a good nap?"

His eyes widen as she smiles at him. "He told you I know all the gossip."

Neji shakes his head, too impressed to even be embarrassed. She certainly worked fast, and whatever gossip network she was employing in the palace was topnotch. "Yes, he did."

"Well, I'll tell you one place you won't have to worry about napping." He quirks a brow at her in question, but regrets it when her smile turns lecherous. "When you spend your first night with the king."

Neji is spluttering and red, but she just laughs and skips off of jump on Naruto's back, her arms twining around his neck as she kisses his cheek. They're all laughing and happy and, as Neji calms his rapidly beating heart, he wonders if he'll ever fit in with their strange little family.

The next morning, as the six of them break their fast with dishes of fruit and fresh baked bread, he brings up something he'd been wondering. "So, yesterday, the king – "

"You know, you can just say Naruto, when he's not around, we're not going to arrest you for insubordination."

" – said something I was wondering about," he plows on over Ino. "He offered to let me live here, but not call on me or ask anything of me. Would he really do such a thing?"

He expects – well he doesn't know what he expects. Downright refusal, probably. But they all shrug and seem unconcerned with it.

"Sure, he would."

"But how could you be sure?"

There's silence for a moment, before Hinata speaks up. "My father – your uncle – disinherited me, did you know that?" When Neji shakes his head, she explains. "I fell in love with one of the workers at the compound, Kiba, and father found out. He threatened to kill Kiba, so he ran. I ran with him, but we had nowhere to go. Naruto-sama gave Kiba a place in the army barracks to make money and he gave me a place here to be safe from my father. He never calls on me at night, I offer him help at council meetings because I am grateful to him."

"I – I had no idea, Hinata – "

"My family gave me to the harem when I was sixteen." Neji doesn't know the woman who begins speaking next very well, only that her name is Sakura, and she is the medic in their group. "I was already training to be a medic, but my father's debts were more important. Naruto was very kind, never asking more than I was willing to give. I was his true concubine for several years before I met a young soldier named Lee, one of his guards. We fell in love. Naruto has never done one thing towards me since, all he asks is for medical treatment, which I freely give. He allows me to stay here while we wait to be married next spring."

There's a long beat of silence, and Neji thinks they are finished, but, after a hushed bout of whispering, Tenten speaks up as well. "Temari came here as a trade with the Suna delegate, if you didn't know. She's the sister to the king there, so it's a really good link for us. She was escaping an unwanted arranged marriage. I tried to join the guard, but they do not accept women. Naruto offered by a place here, as his secret bodyguard. Neither one of us prefer the company of men." The glance between the two is full of everything that she is leaving unspoken. "Naruto never attempted to sway our hearts or minds, merely lets us be ourselves."

"So you see, Neji-kun," Ino says, "we knows he would not ask anything of you, because he always keeps his word."

He stares at her for a blank moment, taking all of that information in. "So you're the only one here actually sleeping with him?"

She opens her mouth to answer (probably something risqué, judging by the glint in her blue eyes), but someone beats her to it. "Are you jealous, little commander?"

His spine stiffens and he feels himself go unbecomingly red for the dozenth time this week. The girls all giggle, and wave hello as Naruto strolls in jauntily. He plops down without preamble beside Neji, who is still trying to control his face. "Good morning, my lord."

"Good morning to you." Taking pity, he turns his focus to the rest. "And good morning to all of you pretty birds, as well!"

They take that as a cue to all begin talking again. Temari heard from her brother and has some information for him. Sakura has a new salve she thinks he mind like better than the last. Hinata learned a new song on the harp and was wondering if he'd be interested in hearing it. They all chatter back and forth with the ease of long practice, only Neji is silent.

"And what about you, commander?" Neji suddenly finds himself the center of six pairs of eyes. "What do you do when you're not soldiering or brushing your beautiful hair?"

He almost takes offense to the comment about his hair, but only the way Naruto is currently staring at it, with a heat that Neji had never been on the receiving end of, stops him. While he thinks of an answer, he runs a finger through his loose hair, a tiny thrill shooting through him as Naruto's eyes watch it avidly, like a predator watching its prey. "I don't know, my lord," he finally says, "perhaps I need further instruction."

Naruto's eyes shoot to his in shock, his mouth falling open in surprise.

Ino's laugh rings through the room. "Oh, I'm going to like this one, Hinata-chan! No one ever surprises Naruto-sama!"

Neji finds out very swiftly that he actually likes to surprise Naruto. He tells himself that it's payback for every time Naruto has made him blush and stutter in front of others like a young girl. But if he's being honest with himself, it gives him a thrill every time he manages to take the king by surprise.

He doesn't attend every meeting, of course, only the ones where something on the docket might be related to his area of expertise. Some of those meetings are only about the impending war with Sound, so there is no chance to do more than perch on the arm rest of the throne, Naruto's arm around his waist keeping him steady. He hasn't bolstered up the courage to sit in his lap like Ino, but he needs to be close enough to lean down and whisper in Naruto's ear under the illusion of nuzzling the king's ear. You should divide your army at the pass, cover more ground. Don't have your troops bottleneck themselves in the canyon. Keep the high ground.

But sometimes those meetings have only a blip of military talk and then they're about nothing Neji knows about or finds interesting. Or are about nothing that Naruto needs to know immediately. And those are the times that Neji realizes that he really, really enjoys surprising his king.

Sometimes it's something small, like when councilman Nara is droning on and on and on about some new tax imposed on something and Neji is bored because he's only here to give advice about battles. So it's possibly that he takes great delight in, from his kneeled position at Naruto's feet, letting his hand creep beneath the red and white robes and brush against an ankle.

There's an almost unnoticeable pause in Naruto's breathing that, if he hadn't been looking for it, Neji wouldn't have even noticed.

When Naruto tries to shift the ankle away and redoubles his efforts of focusing on Nara, Neji lets his fingers slide from ankle to graze along the muscled calf. The muscles twitch under his ministrations. Neji hides a smirk by turning his face into the cloth-covered knee beside his face. When Neji's long fingers reach Naruto's knee, he pauses, deliberating, before slowly, deliberately moving higher. At mid-thigh, a hand grabs Neji's shoulder tight enough to bruise and when he tilts his head back, Naruto is looking down at him with eyes narrowed into slits. No one had ever looked at him so undone like that before. Feeling daring, he swirls his fingers in teasing circles, every pass inching higher. Naruto's breath starts to come in pants.

"So I believe it is in everyone's best interest that we raise taxes on the aforementioned items by 2%."

At this concluding statement, Neji lets his hand slip unnoticed from the robes. Naruto sucks in a ragged breath. "I'll deliberate. Meeting adjourned."

It's an abrupt and harsh dismissal, but maybe they can see the passionate way Naruto is looking at his concubine, because they don't argue and all make their farewells and leave.

"Sire, what - !"

There's a flurry of motion when Naruto yanks Neji upwards by the arm. The motion wrenches, but he doesn't have a chance to cry out in pain because Naruto has slammed their mouths together, sweeping his tongue inside dominantly. Neji gasps at the sensation, his hands are braced on the arm rests of the throne, but Naruto grabs one and yanks it to press against his groin. Neji feels the heat and hardness there and his fingers spasm in surprise.

Naruto breaks the kiss with a groan. "You see what you do to me?" His voice is rough and ragged, shot through with need, and it makes Neji's stomach clench in unfamiliar ardor. His fingers twitch again and Naruto's hips give a mindless thrust. "You're killing me."

Neji licks his lips. "I – " His eyes as bright as lamps, Naruto waits expectantly. "I – "

"Yes?"

"I thought you should know – " He leans down, lips close to a golden ear, the heel of his hand pressing into a throbbing hardness. " – that Nara only wants taxes raised because his family produces them and he uses the funds to fill his coffers." It takes every ounce of strength to pull back, but Naruto's incredulous look when Neji gives him a cheeky makes his grin widen even more. "Thought you should know."

As he leaves, he hears Naruto slump into the throne with a groan.

The next morning as the girls all go their separate ways, Ino sidles up to him, an odd gleam in her eyes. "So…"

He eyes her hesitantly. "So what?" He's positive that she knows what transpired, but on the slim chance she doesn't, he doesn't want to give her any ammunition.

"What the fuck did you do to the king yesterday?"

He blinks at her. "What? Nothing!"

She shrugs at him, watching the flabbergasted look on his face. "You sure? Because he seemed really… zealous last night."

He frowns at her, covering his disappointment in… what? That Naruto didn't come to him instead? "And what makes you assume that that was something of my doing?"

"Well, he said your name, so…"

The only reason the statement doesn't make him blush is because all of his blood has rushed southward at the sudden fantasy of Naruto groaning his name in that guttural, wanting, needy sound he'd made yesterday in the throne room.

"Oooohhh so something did happen! Spill!"

"I – I – " I teased him until he lost control, until he was hard under my hand, until I was hard. "We – "

"Did he fuck you on the throne? I've always wanted to do that."

"What?! No!" There's another image in his head. What could have happened if he hadn't left the throne room. What could have happened if he would have had the courage to straddle Naruto on the throne and – He shakes his head to clear the fantasy from it. "We kissed… that's all…"

"Oh." She pouts prettily. "Well, that's not as much fun. I heard you really put a stop to Nara raising money for himself. Maybe Naruto will fire him and promote his son, he's pretty cute." She smiles brightly at him.

He stares at her. "Yeah, I guess."

"Naruto is cuter though, isn't he?" He's not looking at her, so he doesn't see the contemplative look she gives him.

Neji doesn't think there is anything cute about the king except his smile. He's tall and toned, shoulders broad and hips narrow. His smile is wide and charming and playful and makes Neji want to play with him. His eyes are pools of sky. There's a rumor that the king-mark on his stomach is in the shape of a swirling spiral and Neji's fingers itch to trace it. No, there's nothing cute about him. "Hm."

"Shame he didn't bang you on the throne." She laughs when his blush intensifies. "Well, there's always next time!" Her next smile is practically a leer. "You know he doesn't wear anything under those robes."

She leaves to get ready for some sort of party where Naruto requires her talents, leaving Neji sitting there, staring at his bowl of yogurt. Next time…

Next time didn't happen for several days. Ino's small gathering turned into a clusterfuck when a set of soldiers from Konoha and Mist got into a heated row and no one would admit to who had started it. There were endless meetings with the diplomats. Hinata's presence was required at almost all of them. Then there was a meeting with the king of Mist, and Tenten took her place at Naruto's side as an added precaution, which Temari sent messages to her brother in case the meeting's fell apart and they needed backup. Only Neji and Sakura seemed unnecessary.

Finally, the fervor died down, thanks almost entirely to Naruto's own talent of charming everyone with his enthusiasm for peace.

The next meeting is to discuss the outcome of a small skirmish between Konoha and Sound battalions a few days ago and where to move forward. It was the first time Neji had seen Naruto since the kiss. He was strangely nervous that Naruto would pretend that nothing had ever happened or that he was so meaningless to him in the sea of concubine faces that he maybe had forgotten all about it.

But when Neji slides gracefully to his knees at Naruto's feet, he sees Naruto's pupils dilate and Neji knows that he's suddenly remembering. Feeling daring, Neji smirks just a little, lets his fingers 'accidentally' brush against the hidden ankles, just the smallest graze of nails. Naruto's eyes flutter violently, as if he's attempting to avoid having them roll back in his head at the sensation. He doesn't want to look back the old and boring advisors, so, still feeling daring, he rests his cheek against Naruto's knees, still looking up at his face. Naruto stares down at him in surprise, one hand hovering uncertainly over Neji's hair. Neji makes no motion to move and it isn't until an advisor nervously clears his throat that Naruto pulls his eyes away.

"Please," he says, as his hand settles firmly on Neji's hair. It's his turn to have his eyes flutter closed as he starts to card through the dark locks. "Begin."

Neji spends the meeting in a daze of pleasure, one half of him on the council's droning speeches, the other half on the tingling feeling spreading from each graze of fingernails against his scalp. The tingling itches down his neck, his collarbone, down his arms until he can feel it in his fingers. When Naruto tugs gently on a fistful of hair, Neji feels as if he's tugging directly on his throbbing length. He shifts uncomfortable and when his eyes slit open he can see that Naruto, leaning sprawled back on his throne, is smirking.

Neji opens his mouth (to tell him to stop or to keep going?) when something one of the councilors says suddenly penetrates with him. He doesn't even speak to Naruto, he sits up abruptly. "You can't do that." There's sudden silence in the room, all eyes on Neji as he turns to face the advisors. "That would be a massacre."

Itachi is frowning at him, rage glittering in his eyes. "I do not believe anyone asked you, concubine."

Only Neji's arm, slung across Naruto's legs, keeps the king from standing. But it doesn't stop his voice from ringing out across the room. "You watch your tongue or I'll cut it out." Neji's spine stiffens at the sound, crackling with power and intent. This is no golden boy king full of kindness, this is someone who has been king since infancy, when the shamans found him in an orphanage, divine markings on his skin. That voice was fate, providence. That voice was absolute power.

Neji shakes off the sound. "You can't send our ships to the Dancing Dragon Pass."

"And why not, little soldier?" Itachi's voice says soldier, but his eyes say slut. "In case you didn't notice from you place at our king's feet, that pass is the quickest and most direct route into Sound."

"Yes, it is. It also has sheer cliff walls a hundred feet high. It would be child's play for Sound to put troops at the top and reign down devastation from about. There would be nothing you could do to stop it. It's be like shooting fish in a barrel." He tilts his chin up, looking down his nose at Itachi from his elevated position near the throne. "If you think Sound is too idiotic to have troops at the most direct route into their country, you're stupider than you look."

Before Itachi can speak, the king does. "And what would you suggest, little commander?" It doesn't sound patronizing coming from him. It sounds like an endearment.

"Send our troops on foot through the Forest of Tears. The Dancing Dragon Pass has a strong current and virtually no rocks, take several ships we can live without and send them empty down the pass."

There's a beat of silence before Naruto chuckles. "The ships will draw their fire and their attention, while we're busy sneaking in the back door. I like it." His voice rings our loud again. "Make it happen!"

"But – sire!" Itachi stands. "You can't let this… this… boytoy," he sneers at the word, "dictate the course of these meetings and of our military! It's – "

"Oh, go wet your head, Itachi," a quiet, silver-haired man with an eyepatch speaks up from the back. "You're just mad that he pointed out how dumb your navel strategy was and no one took your side against him."

Itachi sputters when several of the men break out in laughter, but the meeting is clearly over so there is nothing he can do as every begins to pack up and leave. Neji settles back into his customary position at Naruto's feet, turning his head away dismissively and resting it back on Naruto's thighs, as Itachi glares at him. Naruto smiles down at him, soft and bemused, and Neji tentatively smiles back. They're still staring at each other when the door slams closed with a final bang, leaving the two of them alone.

"That was impressive." Even though there is no one to overhear them, Naruto speaks quietly, his voice barely over a whisper. "I'm sure it felt good to talk down to that Uchiha heir." Neji snorts in agreement and nods his head, but stops abruptly when Naruto eyes clench closed.

"My lord!" He starts to sit up in concern. "Are you – "

A hand on his shoulder stops him. "I'm fine." His voice is breathy, but amused. "It's been a hell of a meeting having your face in my lap and not being able to do anything about it."

It takes a moment for that statement to make sense, but when it does, grey eyes widen in understanding, a flush beginning to creep up from his chest and over his throat. It doesn't stop him from flicking a glance down towards Naruto's lap where, had he not been half-asleep during the meeting from Naruto playing with his hair, he would have noticed the rigid length pressing up through the robes.

"I – " A thousand thoughts swirl through his head in the span of a single breath. When he'd been a child, he'd given no thoughts to the opposite sex, nor to the same sex, honestly. He'd only wanted to grow up and join the army. When he'd accomplished that, he had been so busy trying to achieve promotions and be the best at what he did, that thoughts of relationships were fleeting. Same sex couples between the men in the barracks was not uncommon. It was, he knew, not something his uncle condoned, but he had never thought too much about it. It wasn't something that bothered him, but not something he'd thought of in relation to himself.

But, if he was being honest with himself, women confused him. He did understand Sakura's way of flirting with Lee: half romantic and half combative. He did not understand the sloe-eyed looks that Ino gave. The girls all seemed to have a secret language that they all innately understand that did nothing but confuse Neji when he watched it in action. It was full of glances and deliberate widening of eyes and strange hand gestures. It's a foreign language.

Men, he understood. Men were direct. They made sense. He had never thought about that in a romantic sense, but he did not understand women's cues. He understood this, in this moment. That Naruto was aroused by him, that Naruto wanted him. He understood that.

And he understood that, if it had been a female before him, Neji would have only been embarrassed and would want to leave. But with Naruto before him, his mouth was dry with want, his stomach was clenching with need. He understood that he wanted this, too.

"I should do something about that."

It almost looks as if Naruto is going to ask what he means by that, but Neji is already in motion, his intent as clear as glass when he slides the right and bunches the Hokage robes in his hands and starts to inch them higher and higher. Naruto's pupils start to blow wide and even though he mumbled a halfhearted attempt that Neji doesn't have to do this, his body is betraying him – his hips sliding forward, his legs falling open, his hands fumbling with his robes, helping Neji push them up over his hips.

Well, what do you know, he doesn't wear anything under his robes.

He doesn't give himself time to overthink this, like he's sure he would if he paused, so instead he just leans forward and takes the tip delicately in his mouth.

The noise that Naruto makes is a guttural moan that sounds half like a sob, and the sound shoots straight to Neji's suddenly rigid length. "Motherfuck-" Neji can hear tendons popping in his hands as he grips the armrests. Neji has a sudden keen interest to see what other noises he can get Naruto to make. When he opens his mouth and takes as much of that dripping length into his mouth as he can, Naruto starts panting harshly. When he hums low in his throat and the sound vibrates through him, every inhale becomes a whine. When Neji hallows out his cheeks with suction, Naruto's hips thrust upwards mindlessly.

The motion startles Neji and he pulls away, coughing. When he catches his breath, he glances over at Naruto, who is panting raggedly, pupils so dilated that the blue is a mere ring, fingers white-knuckled gripped on the arms of the throne. "S- sorry."

Before the stammered apology, Neji had been about to be embarrassed, but the sight of this: his king come apart under nothing more than his mouth, Neji doesn't care about being embarrassed. He cares about making Naruto come undone completely. When his only answer is a smirk, he can see the shiver that works its way through Naruto's body. He leaves down, no hesitation, and sucks Naruto down with a swallow. The sudden sensation makes Naruto's hands launch off the throne and fist tightly in Neji's hair. He can feel Naruto's thighs trembling with the effort to not thrust upwards but, when Neji starts to bob his head, Naruto moans and his hips start to move of their own accord. It takes him several moments to learn the rhythm, but when he does Neji finds, surprisingly, that, even though his entire focus is on his king's pleasure, he can feel his own length throbbing in time with the one laying heavy and thick in his mouth. He wishes he could rut up against something to relieve the ache, but from this position, there is no way he could maneuver himself into that position. He whines, needy and yearning. Naruto sobs at the sensation and then, without any warning, there's hot, salty liquid spurting down his throat. He swallows automatically, feeling the twitching length in his mouth grow soft. He expects embarrassment, even shame to course through him for what he's done, but when he glances up, Naruto is looking down at him, panting harshly, his pupils still blown wide, his face flushed and his chest heaving. He's looking at Neji like he's something precious and divine and Neji suddenly thinks of him groaning Neji's name when he was fucking someone else and a zing shoots through him. He doesn't feel embarrassed. He feels powerful.

When Neji meets his eyes, Naruto groans raggedly from deep in his chest and Neji finds himself suddenly hauled unceremoniously to his feet. Before he can even cry out in surprise, his mouth is full of Naruto's sweeping tongue. It's easy, this time, to fall into the throne, legs spread on either side of the king's. When the position makes his own neglected length press against Naruto's stomach, he can't stop himself from rocking against it with a moan. He's a few thrusts away from spilling himself inside his pants with nothing more than this, when Naruto wrenches their mouths apart and stands so suddenly that Neji scrambles to wrap his legs around Naruto's waist.

"No," Naruto groans, but he's still pressing lingering kisses to the corner of Neji's mouth and across his cheeks. "No, stop." He nips at Neji's throat, laves at the mark. "Not like this." His hands are scalding lines against Neji's bare back.

Neji doesn't know if Naruto wants him to stop or continue, so Neji settles for what he wants to do. He tightens his legs, erasing any space between them. He twines his arms around Naruto's neck, scrapes his nails against his scalp. He presses his lips to Naruto's ear and pants when Naruto continues to nip and kiss and lick his way across Neji's throat, all the while saying they should stop.

"I can't – I can't – " Naruto presses his face against Neji's throat. "I can't fuck you in the throne room or the harem quarters like you don't mean anything to me."

Neji goes statue still at the admission. His lips are still whispering against an ear when he says, "Then take me to your bed."

"Fucking hell."

The next five minutes are a flurry of motion as Naruto carries him towards his chambers. Tomorrow Neji might be embarrassed to find out that no fewer than six maids, one butler, and two positively appalled councilors are interrupted by the pair of them panting and moaning and scrambling at each other's clothes. But right now he's not thinking about any of that. All he's thinking is more yes skin please gods yes and all he wants is less clothing between them and more skin and heat and pleasure. He doesn't notice when a harried butler opens the door to Naruto's rooms for them, then closes it behind them. He doesn't stop to wonder if the man leaves his post or stays in the hall.

He only knows that, when Naruto tosses him on the bed and pulls away, ripping at his robes, that he starts tugging at his own pants. So when Naruto tumbles down on top of him they are both blissfully, incandescently naked. They're groaning into each other, teeth and tongue and hands unable to stay still. Neji presses his hands against the swirling birthmark that had named him king and he hisses at the touch. Naruto is rocking into him slowly, pushing him deeper into the mattress and it's making their weeping lengths rub against each other and it's good it's so good, but it's not enough, he wants more – he wants – he wants –

"Please, fuck, oh gods," he's moaning with every rocking motion. "Highness – Naruto – fuck me, please."

Naruto goes still above him and Neji keens with the loss of friction. "Say that again."

"Fuck me – please."

"No, the part where you said my name."

"Naruto."

He shivers and groans raggedly. And then Neji finds himself tossed farther up the bed, his legs slung over golden shoulders, as Naruto simultaneously swallows him down and twirls a finger into him. He cries out, partially at the invasion, partially at the feeling of wet heat suddenly surrounding him. his hips cant upwards, away from the burn, but Naruto holds his hips down, stilling the motion, pushing him back against the finger – fingers – that are stretching his wide. It hurts – it hr –

"Fuck! Oh!" His eyes go wide and he scrambles, trying to arch upwards and then back, his hands fist on the sheets. Naruto quirks his fingers against and Neji's eyes go wide and blind. "Fucking hell – Please. Pleasepleaseplease – "

He's sobbing out the words with every brush of Naruto's clever fingers. Another flurry of motion – the fingers and mouth vanish – but before he even has a chance to moan at the loss, Naruto's pressing inside him, filling him up. Neji arches up to meet him, wanting more of that white-hot pleasure. Naruto hoists one leg high and wide, over a shoulder and rocks into him over and over, murmuring nonsense under his breath and into Neji's throat in between presses of lips and teeth and tongue.

"So beautiful – wanted this for so long," he's mumbling. "Wanted this for years. You're mine now – "

"Yours," Neji gasps, "Yes, all yours." He arches up, trying to get closer, trying to sink into Naruto's very skin. "And you're mine."

Naruto shudders with the declaration, his hips momentarily losing their rhythm. "Oh gods yes." When he resumes his motion it's harsh and demanding, like he's trying to slam himself into Neji until they're one person. "Yours."

"Yes… more please oh gods please harder yes fuck please." Neji moans with every thrust forward, keens with every rock away until he's a litany of pleads and moans, his hands scrambling for purchase against a slick back, his heels pressed into Naruto calves as he tries to arch higher. He moves his hands to tangled sheets, tries to arch his hips high, he needs more – needs something. His voice breaks on a sob. "Please please please please," He's wound so tight he hurts spiraling higher and tighter and higher until he feels like he will snap, but nothing releases the pressure, just winds him up and up and up, "Pleaaseee please please"

Naruto's hips snap forward on a stuttered motion, stilling as Neji feels his inside coat with hot release. Naruto shudders above him. Neji sobs, still aching and wanting –

"Ahhh!" A hot hands suddenly around his weeping length, pumping in a hot grip only just shy of being painful. Neji arches up, sobs as Naruto pumps the overstimulated flesh with just a scratch of nails, and suddenly comes undone. Naruto gives a gasping groan as Neji's inner walls clamp down on him, hips mindlessly thrusting.

Neji comes down from his release, legs tingling as they unclench from around his king's waist, fingers aching as they let go of the fisted blankets. He feels boneless and lax with release, heart thundering, breath panting. Naruto is slumped on top of his, dead weight. He's trembling.

"My lord?" Neji reaches up to brush his hands along the slick back of his king, pulling back when Naruto shifts, propping himself up on his elbows to stare down at him.

"Can you promise me something?"

Neji doesn't even have to think. "Anything, your highness."

"Can you only call me by my name when we're alone?"

He blinks, then smiles hesitantly. "Of course… Naruto."

There's still a hesitant look in his eyes. "And would you… would you mind that… a lot?"

"Calling you Naruto?"

The hesitation deepens. "Being alone with me… a lot?"

It takes him a moment to understand that Naruto is asking if Neji would be alright being here, with him, all the time. His eyes widen. "You mean…"

"Like all the time?"

"I – " Would love that. But he can't quite bring himself to say it outright. So instead he leans up and presses their lips together in a chaste kiss, letting his happiness seep into the touch.

Naruto "whoops!" against his lips, leaning down and pressing closer. After several long moments of languid touches, they pull apart and Naruto is beaming at him, brighter and wider than any smile Neji has ever seen on his face. "You think Ino will be mad?"

"Well, I think she secretly hopes you replace Nara the Elder with his son."

It's Naruto's turn to blink, then he leers. "I can definitely do that… if it means I get to keep you."

Neji stretches, a lazy arch of spine that presses them together in all the right places. Naruto hums in pleasure. "I think that would be acceptable." The smile he gets in return is a sliver of heaven, a glimpse of nirvana. Paradise, found here, when neither one was looking for it.