A/N I'd like to point out that this is still a fan fiction story. Although I'll always try to stay as close to reality as I can sometimes I'll changes things to fit into a story, this story in this case. So don't harass me if certain things in this chapter are in reality not possible.
I'd like to thank the readers for being concerned about my friends. It means a lot to me. Y'all are amazing.
Alright it seems like I'm on my game for th is story lately, another long chapter for y'all to read. As always please R+R.
Chapter 37
"Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited." - Duke Ellington.
Oliver looks at Alex and at Abby and back to Alex. While Abby hands over a white nameless binder to Alex.
"Surprise? Paperwork? Alex what the hell are you talking about?" Oliver asks, with a bit of anxiety in his voice.
"Relax Liv, I told you it's a nice surprise. Remember those papers you signed that day we went to precinct?" Alex asks, opening the binder and taking out some papers.
"Yes I do." Oliver answers slowly.
"Well, whether you go to rehab tomorrow or the day after that you'll be going officially being Oliver Alexander Benson." Alex says.
Alex smiles widely as she hands over the papers to Oliver, the legal document that states Oliver is now officially a male with the names Oliver Alexander Benson. Then the blonde takes a new passport and drivers license from the binder and hands them over to Oliver too. Oliver looks shocked from the paperwork to Alex, from Alex to the the paperwork again and back to the blonde ADA.
"What..how...when...really?" Oliver stutters stunned, before the widest smile Alex has ever seen on the Detective's face breaks through.
"Yes really. When we were waiting for you while you were in surgery, I remembered that I had the papers with me. I gave them to Abby and she went with them to Petrovsky the next morning. Now normally there would be three months for someone to object but since you, unfortunately and in this case fortunately, don't have any blood relatives they were able to speed up the process. Now normally you would need to sign for a new passport and drivers license, but since you were in a coma and you gave me power of attorney, I could sign the official documents and get you a temporarily passport and drivers license. When you are able to go and sign them yourself, you will get new ones, but until then these are legally binded." Alex answers.
"Wow. Thank you Lex and Abby. I don't know what to say. I'm so happy with this." Oliver chokes out.
"Ya don't need to thank me, Oli. It is a honor I could do this for ya." Abby says.
"It means so much for me. I can't believe it. I'm Oliver Alexander Benson now." Oliver almost squeals.
Abby, Jane and Alex laugh at seeing Oliver so happy. Oliver smiles at them all. A knock on the door interrupts their festivities. Dr. Bouchon and Dr. Chapman walk inside. Oliver picks up the papers and holds them up the best he can.
"Look Dr. Bouchon. My name is officially changed. I can go to rehab with my new name!" Oliver says happily.
Dr. Bouchon walks to Oliver and takes over the papers and quickly looks them over.
"Congratulations Detective. I'm happy for you and Alex. This is great news." Dr. Bouchon says sincerely.
"Thank you Dr." Oliver says smiling.
"Congratulations Detective Benson and Ms. Cabot of course. I agree with Dr. Bouchon, this is great news and I have more good news more for you. You are doing so well without the tube that I'm releasing you early tomorrow morning. Around 8 am you'll be brought to the Dr. Mastdi Rehabilitation Center in Manhattan." Dr. Chapman says.
"Thank you Dr. Chapman. Today turns out to be a very good day." Oliver smiles.
"That's great news. Thank you Dr. Chapman." Alex says, smiling too.
"Well if you ladies would leave the room for about 15 minutes, I'll check Detective Benson for the last time. Detective Rizzoli, you can stay of course if Detective Benson wants it." Dr. Bouchon says.
Oliver's face falls slightly at hearing that he's gonna be checked again. He hates it. Not only because of his scars from the shooting but also because he still has a female body. Especially now that he knows that he wants to go through the process.
"I'd like you to stay, Jane. If that's alright with you." Oliver says softly.
"Of course, Oli. What ever you need, I'll do it for you." Jane answers.
"I want to check you for the last time as well. Do you want me to wait until Dr. Bouchon is done with his examinations or for me to stay in your room too?" Dr. Chapman asks.
"I want for you to wait, Dr. Chapman." Oliver answers.
"Sure Detective. No problem. I'll be waiting at the nurse's station. Dr. Bouchon can call me when he's done." Dr. Chapman says.
Dr. Chapman and Abby leave the room. Alex stays for a moment, sensing that something is bothering her Detective.
"What's wrong, Liv?" Alex asks softly.
Oliver looks at Dr. Bouchon and Jane.
"Would you two mind waiting outside my room for a moment?" Oliver asks.
"Of course not." Dr. Bouchon answers.
"Take your time, Oliver." Jane answers.
Both Dr. Bouchon and Jane leave the room, making sure to close the door behind her.
"What is it, honey?" Alex asks, taking Oliver's hands in her own.
"I know he needs to do it but I really don't like it, Lex. Being raped...doesn't help either but I'm starting to hate my body more and more. Now that I know I want to do that surgery or surgeries actually, it's like feeling disgusted by my own body. It's not like I have the smallest breasts possible and they are bothering me. I would like to hide them, so that nobody can see them, so much. And now and probably at rehab too, I'll need to undress or be undressed in front of others." Oliver answers softly.
"Is there something I can do to help you now? Make it easier for you?" Alex asks.
"Last time Jane stayed with me because I didn't want you to see my scars. What I didn't think about then was that you probably have seen them every day for the two months I was in a coma. You wouldn't leave my side when they would be busy with the wounds or what ever else they needed to do. I thought of that afterwards. And although Jane doesn't judge me and was there for me, she isn't you. So maybe it would be good for you to be there this time. Maybe if I can see it with my own eyes that you're not disgusted by my body, it gets easier for me. It's ridiculous I know. Maybe we should forget about it and let Jane and Dr. Bouchon back inside." Oliver says, mumbling at the end and looking away.
Alex slowly raises her hand and cups Oliver's chin gently and turns his head back so he can look into the blonde's eyes.
"Liv, it's not ridiculous at all. If me being here can reassure you than I would love to stay with you here during their examinations. If that can help you than that's what we're doing. And I think that if you or I would explain it to Dr. Bouchon he'll understand it and work as quickly as he can and while being thorough at the same time. He seems to care about how things are for you, Liv." Alex says.
Oliver thinks about it for a moment or two.
"You are right. It seems like he honestly cares about it. Alright, could you explain it to him and Jane and then come back inside with him please, Lex?" Oliver asks.
"Of course, baby." Alex says.
The blonde ADA gets up from her chair and softly kisses Oliver on his lips. Alex then leaves the room to talk with the others before getting back inside with the Dr. Bouchon a couple of minutes later. Of course everyone understood it when Alex explained things. While Dr. Bouchon closes the curtains around Oliver's bed Alex sits down and squeezes Oliver's hand.
"Let's get started shall we? The sooner we start the sooner it's done." Dr. Bouchon asks.
"Yes please." Oliver answers.
When Dr. Bouchon is checking Oliver at first Alex looks at Oliver's body without allowing herself to feel something. She gazes at Oliver and sees the look in his eyes remembering what the Detective told her. That if she showed with her eyes what she's feeling when she looks at his body, it could help her fiancé. So when she looks back at Oliver's body for the second time she allows herself to roam her eyes over his upper body and stares at what she thinks are the most beautiful breasts in the world, no matter what Oliver thinks about them himself. Immediately Alex starts to get aroused seeing her fiancé's beautiful body. Taking a risk Alex doesn't hide what she feels when she looks back into Oliver's brown eyes and when he sees Alex's dilated pupils, and the love and hunger in the now dark blue eyes, the Detective swallows hard. There is no doubt left in how Alex thinks about his body. Despite how Oliver thinks about his body himself, it's gives him a good feeling seeing what it does to Alex. And instead of getting anxious, Oliver visibly relaxes. Alex is glad that she took the risk because now she knows what kind of treasure she just gave her fiancé.
Half an hour after Abby and Jane left Oliver's room the brunettes are back inside. They talk and tease each other a bit until Oliver starts to tire again. Abby promises that she'll bring Alex's car to the rehab facility before she goes to court. It turned out that the rehabilitation center wasn't that far from the courthouse, being about a 15 minute walk. Alex goes with Oliver in the ambulance that will transfer the Detective to rehab. After Abby and Jane left Oliver and Alex are taking a nap, the same way they always did in the hospital and the same way they would fall asleep at night, with Oliver's head on Alex's shoulder. After dinner a nurse bathes Oliver on his bed. Normally that would be in the morning but because he had been in surgery this morning he is being washed in the early evening right after dinner. When he was done Alex crawled back into bed with Oliver and they would talk for a little while before they went to sleep. Well Oliver slept, Alex would read for a couple of hours before the blonde would go to sleep too. They had done it from the first day since Olivier was awake again.
Tuesday morning 7:30 AM
Dr. Bouchon knocks on Oliver's door for the last time and walks inside.
"Good morning Detective. Good morning Alex. So Detective, are you ready to leave the hospital?" Dr. Bouchon asks.
"Good morning Dr. Bouchon. What do you think yourself? Hell ya, I'm ready!" Oliver answers.
"Good morning Dr. Bouchon." Alex says.
"Could you do me one favor, Detective?" Dr. Bouchon asks.
"Depends on what it is." Oliver answers.
"Don't come back here anytime soon, please." Dr. Bouchon says.
Alex can't help herself and burst out in laughter.
"Detective Rizzoli was right, Alex gets our votes for sainthood. I can honestly say that I've never met anyone as stubborn and hard headed as you are Detective. And I'm pretty sure I'll never meet anyone like you again." Dr. Bouchon says.
"I hate hospitals. And don't worry about me coming back soon, not if I can help it." Oliver says.
"That's an understatement. But there something else I want to tell you. I'm going to be honest with the both of you. You're a miracle Detective. You are a fighter and you haven beaten the odds. Truthfully, I didn't expect you to live. I've never seen a patient survive a shooting like yours before. After the surgery you had before that I really thought I was going to lose you on the table and when that didn't happen, that infection set in and I thought that you wouldn't make it. The road to recovery might be a long one, but I'm convinced you'll succeed and that in the future, you'll be back keeping this city safe. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. I'm proud of you Oliver. I wish you all the best and don't let go of this blonde angel you have at your side." Dr. Bouchon says.
"Thank you. Oh and you don't have to worry about that, Dr. Bouchon. I'll never let Alex go." Oliver says.
"I'm gonna ask you a question and I want an honest answer on it Dr. Bouchon." Alex says.
"Alright, I promise I'll tell you the truth." Dr. Bouchon says.
"With what you just said I want to know what his chances really were in your opinion. What did you really give him after he was shot?" Alex asks.
"I didn't give him any chance at all but if I had to give you a percentage, I would say about five percent. But again, I would like to point out that I really think that your Detective can recover completely." Dr. Bouchon answers.
It was silent for a minute. Alex and Oliver both needed time to get their minds around the Dr.'s answers. They both had known that Oliver had been close to not surviving the shooting but they didn't expect it was that bad.
"Thank you Dr. Bouchon, for your honesty. I truly appreciate it." Alex says a bit emotional.
"Your fiancé is a tough cop, I understand why his nickname is Detective Badass. I also know that he'll always protect you, with his life as it turns out. You don't have to worry about him anymore, Alex. The worst is over and he really is ready for rehab. I'm not gonna sugar coat it, this is gonna be difficult for him and he'll need to work very hard but it's going to be alright." Dr. Bouchon says reassuring Alex.
"I told you he is tough and a fighter. I never have met anyone as strong as Liv." Alex says with a smile.
"Hey, I'm still here you know. There's nothing wrong with my ears or anything else inside my head!" Oliver says.
Alex and Dr. Bouchon shake their heads.
"Here is the paperwork for your release. Good luck with him in rehab, Ms. Cabot. If you don't have any questions left for me Detective, I'll get out of your hair." Dr. Bouchon says, handing over the paperwork to Alex.
"Har, har, very funny. Really it's hilarious." Oliver says sarcastically.
Due to the shot that grazed his head and the swelling in his brains, they had to shave his head and Oliver didn't have a single hair left.
Dr. Bouchon holds out his hand to Oliver and shakes the Detective's hand.
"Good bye Detective. Try to behave yourself in rehab." Dr. Bouchon says winking with his eyebrows.
Oliver just glares at him not wanting to get in argument with Alex for chewing the Doctor's ass off again. Dr. Bouchon turns to Alex and shakes the blonde's hand too.
"Good bye Ms. Cabot." Dr. Bouchon says.
"Thank you for everything Dr. Bouchon." Alex says.
"No need to thank me. He's worth it." Dr. Bouchon says and with that he leaves the room.
8:30 AM Dr. Mastdi Rehabilitation Center.
Alex and Oliver are waiting in front of Oliver's new psychologist's office, A Dr. Olsen. For an introductory meeting. They are waited about five minutes when the door opens and a blonde woman around Oliver's age steps outs from her office.
"Good morning Mr. Benson. I'm Dr. Kim Olsen. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. Please come inside." Dr. Olsen says.
Alex pushes Oliver's wheelchair inside the office.
"It's Detective Benson and this is my fiancé ADA Alexandra Cabot." Oliver says firmly.
"My apologies, Detective, Counselor." Dr. Olsen apologizes.
Alex glares at Oliver before she looks at the blonde Doctor.
"I'm sorry Dr. Olsen, apparently my fiancé left his manners at the hospital." Alex says.
"It's alright, Ms. Cabot. Let's get started shall we?" Dr. Olsen asks.
Both Alex and Oliver nods.
"Let's start with your schedule Detective. Every Monday you'll have a medical check up with Dr. Cason. She is also the head of your team and the person who makes the decisions about you physically. This week will be slightly different. Thursday you are scheduled for a swallow test and afterwards Dr. Cason will see you to discus the results with you. But normally you will see her every Monday. Every morning you'll have PT and every afternoon except for Monday you have a therapy session with me or Dr. Mast. She's your trauma psychologist. For now you have three sessions a week with me and one with Dr. Mast. After your therapy you will be staying at your room. You have a personal nurse looking after you until you go to sleep at night. In the weekend you'll follow the program we have for weekends. In the morning you'll have PT and in the afternoon the weekend program unless you have a visitor or visitors. Today you'll start with a shorter PT session than normal since you just arrived. And this afternoon we'll start with our sessions. This week you start with your trauma therapy on Friday but from next week on that will be on Thursday. We have made sure to include a schedule an information about how your week will be for you both to have. Now I've read your medical file so I know what happened and for now we'll let it rest. What I would like to discus now is your support network. It's important for every patient to have a support network of a partner, when there is one, family and friends. Besides your fiancé do you have support from others, Detective?" Dr. Olsen asks.
"Yes. My squad and Captain, two other ADA's who are also friends. One of our friends recently joined my squad too, Alex's Godmother and Alex's parents. Maybe Alex's brothers and sisters too. That's about it, I think. Alex, did I forget anyone?" Oliver asks.
"No I don't think so. But my brothers and sister aren't a 'maybe' Liv. Your family to them so they certainly support you too." Alex answers.
"Than this is my support network, Dr. Olsen." Oliver says.
"I notice you didn't name any relatives of yours Detective. Is there a reason why you didn't name any?" Dr. Olsen asks.
Oliver's face drops and he looks at Alex.
"Did I say something wrong?" Dr. Olsen asks.
Oliver looks pleadingly at Alex. The blonde ADA nods at Oliver and answers for the Detective.
"You didn't say something wrong necessarily. It's just that it's a difficult subject for Liv. My fiancé doesn't have relatives Dr. Olsen. He doesn't have family. That's why he didn't name any, there's no one to name." Alex answers.
"I'm sorry, Detective Benson, Ms. Cabot. I didn't know. I wouldn't have asked it if I had known this." Dr. Olsen apologizes.
"It's alright Dr. Olsen. You couldn't have known it. I don't like to talk about it so could we change the subject please." Oliver answers.
"Yes of course. Well it seems that you have a great network to support you. Use them for support when you need to. Your fiancé can visit you every day if you would like it. Now normally family and friends mostly visit patients in the weekend. However, with your kind of job or mostly theirs, I understand that is not always possible and therefore they are allowed to visit you during the week too. But only one or two at a time. Therapy is going to be exhausting for you and you'll need and probably want your rest during the week. At least for the first couple of weeks, I think. Now if you don't have any questions for now, I suggest you go back to your room and Ms. Martinez, your PT therapist will get you there for your first session in about twenty minutes. And I'll see you this afternoon at one pm Detective. Ms. Cabot, you may stay with Detective Benson until Ms. Martinez arrives if you'd like." Dr. Olsen says.
"I don't have any questions at this moment. I don't know about Alex. She usually have a thousand questions before she's satisfied." Oliver smiles.
"If Oliver passes the swallowing test what will happen next?" Alex asks, ignoring Oliver's teasing.
"Well that's up to Dr. Cason. Normally a patient will be transported to the hospital to remove the tube the next day and will get pureed food until they can switch over to normal food. But like I said that's up to Dr. Cason." Dr. Olsen answers.
"Right. I would like an appointment with Dr. Cason then. I do have another question for you if you don't mind." Alex says.
"I could arrange that you can be present this Thursday at Detective Benson's appointment with Dr. Cason if you'd like and if Detective Benson agrees with it of course." Dr. Olsen says, looking at Oliver for an answer.
"It's alright with me. If you don't arrange it, I'm sure that Alex will arrange an appointment with Dr. Cason herself and trust me when I say that she'll manage to get that appointment." Oliver answers.
"I don't think it will be a problem. I'll make the arrangement with Dr. Cason. Now you said you had another question for me, Ms. Cabot?" Dr. Olsen asks.
"Yes. I'm sure you are aware of Oliver's process toward transition. Does he get help for that here too?" Alex asks.
"That's a good question. Yes, I'll personally take care of that myself, Ms. Cabot. We, the team that is, think that's it's an important part of your recovery Detective Benson, so you will get all the help we can give you. I'm specialized in rehabilitation after a shooting but before I became a specialist in this I was a psychologist for the gender team in a hospital in LA. So I'm sure I can give all the help you both need with Detective Benson's process. And between the three of us, my wife has been gone through the process too. I'm not ashamed of this but it's not something I usually talk about outside my private life." Dr. Olsen answers.
"Thank you for sharing it with us, Dr. Olsen. I'm glad that Oliver will get the help he needs with his process. I understand your point. Personally I'm very proud of Oliver for doing this but I agree with you that it's not a subject you talk about very often. If asked I will talk about it, with his permission of course, but not if it's not necessary." Alex says.
"I'm just very lucky to have a woman like Alex." Oliver says.
"I'm sure you both are lucky to have each other. Now do you have more questions for me Ms. Cabot? I don't want to be rude but I think it's time to go back to Detective Benson's room." Dr. Olsen asks.
"No for now I don't have more questions. Thank you for your time Dr. Olsen." Alex answers.
"Very well. I'll see you at one pm, Detective Benson. I'm sure I'll see soon again Ms. Cabot." Dr. Olsen says.
Alex and Oliver say their goodbye's and go back to Oliver's room to wait for his therapist to come and get him. Oliver is getting more nervous. The new environment, new Doctor's and nurses, new therapists and a new room. And Alex not staying with him all the time anymore. All of this makes Oliver nervous and insecure. Alex does the best she can to calm down and comfort Oliver and by the time his therapist arrives Oliver is a bit calmer. They all get introduced with each other and Alex promised that she would come back later that afternoon. Ms. Martinez pushes Oliver's wheelchair out of his room as Alex leaves. Ms. Martinez notices that Oliver is quite nervous and makes the mistake of laying down her hand on Oliver's shoulder and squeezes it. Oliver already on the edge went straight into a flashback and screams.
"ALEX. ALEX. ALEX. NOOO NOT ALEX."