ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain – The Black Heart Diaries
After her movie with John Cena and the Rock becomes a Hollywood hit Sasha Banks starts a web series called the Black Heart Diaries and offers Bayley the lead role in a movie based on the series.
It is all about her relationship with Seth Rollins and it drives a wedge between Seth and the Shield.
Chapter Five – Table for Two
A/N: Please note that this chapter contains sexual references that are inappropriate for some readers
The Rock's kitchen, Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA, 9pm
Seth turned the page of his Bible to where the balm of Gilead is first mentioned but he was smiling cheekily a at the same-time.
"So three dates is all it would take for you to kiss me?" he teased her an shoved him.
"Focus before we get in even more trouble with your babysitters back there," E S T said referring to the Shield but Seth waved away her concerns about Roman and Dean.
"Forget about them they're just worried about me and Sasha," Seth said.
"But they don't have anything to worry about I'm not here to make trouble. Sasha's fine with me being here, plus she's too distracted by you to even notice I'm here. Clearly the only thing she cares about is you, those two need to take a page out of her book and chill out," E S T said and she leaned on her elbow glancing over the pages of Seth's Bible attentively. "Where'd you get this Bible?" she asked curiously.
"Shawn Michaels gave it to me after I got baptised this year. I only take it with me when I teach which isn't often, its pretty hard to teach the word of God when you're hiding from Bayley all year," Seth said an patted him on the shoulder.
"Don't worry God buddy, your days of running from Bayley are over, E S T – Every Single Thing, has got you covered," she assured him. "Honey,"
"Yes?" Seth replied an laughed slapping the table.
"No I'm not calling you honey, God said that's what the colour of your baby's skin is going to be. Honey," E S T explained and Seth nodded intrigued.
"What kind of honey? Like a manuka honey or a clear golden honey? Can you be that specific? There's lots of types of honey," Seth said.
"It ain't champagne that's all I'm saying," E S T replied and Seth blushed.
"You heard my conversation with my wife?" he asked her awkwardly an played with her braid trying not to laugh.
"God has no filter when it comes to you Seth," she said trying to hold in her laughter. "I heard everything. Everything,"
"Why, how?!" Seth said humiliated.
"I told you God has no filter. I even heard you celebrate Sasha's new mom boobs," Belair said and Seth prayed for God to giv filter so she didn't overhear him when he was alone with Sasha.
"Amen. There I shut that down quick, now let's get back to the word of God," Seth said bu was laughing too much to focus. "Come on Belair don't make me regret bringing you with me,"
"Oh my God, they're real!" E S T said mocking Seth's earlier response to his wife's pregnancy boobs. Seth sat back in his chair humiliated but even in his humiliation he was still happy about his wife's new boobs. They were awesome.
"Are you done?" he said waiting for Bianca to stop laughing.
"Just start I'll catch on in a minute," E S T said holding her sides which were burning with laughter pain.
"Laugh it up because you will never hear me and Sasha in the bedroom ever again," Seth said.
"So what? I'm still gonna rub it in your face, you know the way you rub it in my face that I care more about my husband than I do my career," Bianca said.
"It's true though," Seth said with a simple shrug rubbing his thumb across the gilded edges of his Bible. "I know you love him. I mean it's not like you care about Montez too much it's just that you don't care about him in the right way," Seth pulled his chair closer to the table and leaned in hoping to get E S T's attention because he was about to get personal. "Your sex life is so regulated; who has a sex schedule?! What if he wanted to bang you up against the refrigerator like Bliss and Murphy used to do it when they were a couple? I guess he'd have to schedule it in advance, that's not fun that's just work. You're a lot of work E S T, especially for a fun-loving guy like Monty," Seth said a calmed down finally able to catch her breath while wiping laughter tears from her eyes.
"First of all I did not need to know that about Bliss and Murphy, kitchen sex is by far the worst and second of all I like my sex life regulated, to me that's fun! I need to know where I'm doing it, why I'm doing it and when I'm doing it. I like my life organised and that includes sex," Bianca argued.
"So your husband needs to give you a reason to have sex with you?" Seth asked confused.
"Seth you don't understand my husband is very hyperactive. Look if I don't get a written summary of possible reasons why we should do it a week prior to our actually scheduled time to do it, things just go off the rails. Like you said, the refrigerator thing? If I did that with my husband, Montez would be listing about a million places for us to do it, I ain't got time for that Seth. That's why I limit our sex life to three times a day in pre-approved locations around the house. Locations you seem to know a little too well. Sounds like God's not the only one in need of a filter," Bianca said.
Seth stared at Bianca in disbelief, "Okay now I'm really worried. As soon as we go back to Orlando I'm booking you and your husband in for a counselling session," Seth said decisively.
"A counselling session, with who?" Bianca asked puzzled.
"With Shawn and Amy, you can't keep on like this Bianca you are wound way too tight. It's like that song that black chick wrote, Bianca Belair, you are not your hair," Seth said butchering the India Aire song and Bianca thought about it.
"You're saying I need to let my husband have more control over where we do it?" she asked Seth.
"Look, if Sasha told me where she wanted to do it and I said what you just said, we wouldn't even know how good it would be to do it on the bathroom floor of Hayworth's dorm at Harvard. One thing I learned from having sex with Sasha at Harvard, experimentation is fun in and outside of class," Seth said and Bianca furrowed her brow.
"Wait that was Sasha's idea? Girl is nasty," Bianca said.
"The bathroom is the cleanest room in the house how is that nasty?" Seth replied.
"Having sex on any floor is nasty, why do you think beds were invented? To keep dust, crumbs and bugs from getting all up in you while you do it, that's why," Bianca said and their voices were getting louder the more they talked about their sex lives.
"But beds are as squeaky as Hell, floors are a much quieter option and as for dust, crumbs and bugs, when was the last time you vacuumed your bedroom floor E S T? It definitely sounds like you missed a spot or two. Sasha's bedroom floor is pristine clean which makes it the perfect place to have sex," Seth argued.
"Okay forget about the cleanliness of the floor, what about your back? The floor provides absolutely no support, on your bed you've got pillows, you've got cushions -" E S T said counting off the attributes of her bedroom on her fingers.
"You don't throw the pillows and cushions off before you do it?" Seth asked her.
"No Montez needs the support, I'm a big girl Seth I could break his back if I don't have something underneath him to cushion him from all the grinding," Bianca explained.
"You sit on top of your husband?" Seth asked an nodded. "I like it when Sasha sits on top of me," he added amorously.
"I know," E S T said she resumed her laughter.
"But my wife is 5'4, she's a like a hamster I barely feel her grinding against me. Montez must feel like he's having sex under a pressure cooker. All that muscle pressing against him, how selfish of you," Seth said shaking his head in disapproval.
"That's why I don't throw off the cushions and pillows, I am well aware of how powerful I am Seth and so is Montez, he likes it!" Belair replied.
"We need to go back to Bible Study but I gotta ask one last thing, wouldn't you rather be underneath your husband? I'd freakin crush Sasha if I did what you do with Montez," Seth said an giggled. "What's so funny? I'm a big dude,"
"Nothing, let's go back to learning about my Gift. I think you need to work out your sex life on your own since I clearly don't know what I'm doing," E S T said sarcastically. "You're an adventurous lover Seth; you fly half way across the country to make love to your wife. You have sex on the beach, in Harvard dorms, I'm sure you've had sex in like twelve different places, that's very exciting. Not having a sex schedule or a list of pre-approved hump spots clearly works for you, it doesn't work for me. I need the why, I need the when and I need the where,"
"No you need the whenever, the wherever and the however that's what you need Bianca. As soon as we're done studying the word of God I'm calling your husband to book you in for that counselling session," Seth said.
"Whatever," E S T said dismissively.
"Kill that attitude," Seth warned her.
"Yes sir," she replied remembering who she was talking to. Bianca knew Seth was a Bible teacher she had no idea he'd end up being her marriage counsellor as-well. Her year on the main roster was certainly full of surprises. "You know the only reason you and Sasha are so spontaneous is because she's pregnant right? When the baby comes all that is going to change, what happens if things aren't like they used to be but you still have that desire for her to be up for doing it whenever, wherever and however?"
"I'll adapt plus I'll be playing with my son while Sasha heals up. It takes women three months to recover from having a baby right?" Seth asked.
"Sure but if you're nice to me I can get her healed up in three seconds," Bianca said and Seth reached out and touched her hand with a huge smile of gratitude on his face.
"You're the bEST," he said and they resumed their Bible study on the balm of Gilead much more quietly with more serious intent and less sexual content.
An hour into their Bible study Roman Reigns entered the kitchen like an apparition and his presence got Seth and Bianca's attention. He pulled on the back of the chai was sitting on drawing her back from the kitchen table.
"Is this seat taken?" he said an got to her feet angrily.
"I'm sitting on it aren't I?" she replied displeased with his action.
Seth smiled at their interaction; Bianca was standing up to Roman and he loved it. He knew the Big Dog was really a pussycat but Bianca was a freakin monster who wasn't afraid of anyone, not even a badass Samoan heavyweight like Roman Reigns. They stood nose-to-nose for what seemed like forever before Roman slowly sat down on the chair, to which Bianca responded by getting another chair and sitting right in-between Roman and Seth.
"I am not losing my seat at the table," she told Roman defiantly reclining back, "I'm staying right here, whatever you gotta say in front of Seth you can say in front of me,"
Roman gave Seth a look of disapproval, "You just gonna sit there and let her talk to me like that?"
"Yup, I sure am. You interrupted us, we came in here to get away from your childish nonsense. You bring that trash in here, E S T's gonna take it out. If you got something to say Roman say it quick, we've got a Bible to study," Seth replied.
"Fine, I'd love to hear what the Bible has to say about you staying up all night with a married woman while your pregnant wife is asleep upstairs and your boys are watching TV by themselves," Roman said an threw her head back in exasperation.
"See what it says right here?" Seth says pointing to the Book of Proverbs and Roman leaned over the table and read what the Scripture said.
"Proverbs chapter nine verse nine; Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning," Roman read. "So are you saying I'm not smart enough to attend your little Bible Study?"
"No I'm saying you're supposed to be the wise man; I gave you an instruction which was to leave Bianca and me alone. You didn't follow it which makes you an unwise man and I cannot teach an unwise man the word of God. E S T on the other hand has every right to sit at this table because she wants to be a better student by understanding the historical significance of her Gift. You still have a lot to learn about taking instruction Roman, out here acting like a thick-headed moron," Seth said.
"What about the part in the Bible where Jesus says a man shall cleave to his wife, I mean Jesus actually said that. Are you saying that Jesus didn't mean what he said when he said you should be by your wife's side at all times? There's example after example of men in the Bible staying by their wives' side; you got Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Mary and Joseph. They're the power couples of the Bible shouldn't you be taking that approach to your own marriage?" Roman said.
"What the Hell is your problem Roman? Why are you so on my a** about this sticking by Sasha's side and stuff?" Seth asked bemused by Roman's constant lecturing about him not being superglued to Sasha's ribcage.
"His marriage is the one that's in trouble Seth, not yours," E S T said suddenly as God revealed yet another secret to her. "His wife thinks he's spending way too much time on the road and he's bored with being at home all the time. That's why he's mad at you, he was hoping to spend time in LA with you, Sasha and Dean. Me being here just threw a big spanner in the works, isn't that right Roman Reigns?"
"How could you possibly know that?" Roman aske still not totally believing her Gift of Trust was real. "I never told anyone that,"
"Hence why it was secret and I know Every Single Thing," E S T replied and Seth gushed at Roman and went over to him and gave him a hug.
"Is that why you've been acting like such a jerk? Because you wanted to spend more time with me?" he asked lovingly. "Roman why didn't you tell me your marriage was going through a dry phase?"
"Its not like that, I mean yes my wife does want me to stay home more but that's not why I'm acting like this. I think our friendship is going through a "dry phase". Ever since you and Sasha got married I've barely seen you and I miss you dude," Roman said.
"Wow you really are a pussycat," E S T said pinching Roman's cheek.
"Knock it off," Roman said batting her hand away. "Thanks for telling Seth my secret,"
"I'm glad she told me, now I can extend my marriage counselling session to both of you. We'll have it when I go back to Orlando," Seth said and he hugged Roman and kissed him on the side of his face. "Dude all you had to say was that you missed me, I still care about you and if you need to talk I'm here for you,"
Roman pulled Seth's arm away and stood to his feet looking Seth right in the face, "No you're not Seth, you're with her all the time," he said pointing to Bianca Belair, "and if you're not with her, you're with Alexa and if you're not with Alexa, you're with Mac at her father's church. Its always some other chick that's got your attention and I thought once you finally got married things would settle down and we could start being friends again. Getting over cancer was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and you were there for me during that whole time. Now I barely see you. What is it going to take Seth? Am I going to have to get sick and nearly die before you act like you give a damn about me anymore?"
Seth could not believe what he was hearing an could see her Bible study going right out of the window, she had to act fast to get Seth not to lose it. She scrolled through Seth's phone until she found Roman's home number she dialled it.
"Hi Mrs Reigns? This is Bianca Belair, yes I am happy to be on the main roster thank you but that's not why I'm calling," Bianca said getting Roman's attention.
"Is that my wife you're talking to?" Roman asked her in shock.
"Mrs Reigns your husband loves you and he misses you very much and while he's here not spending time with you, he's figuring out how to make you feel better about the way things are going. In fact tomorrow we're going to go out and get you whatever you want from Rodeo Drive, how does that sound? That sounds great? Awesome what do you want, diamonds, pearls? Name it and Roman will have it sent over to you by early next week. You don't want anything fancy, you just want your husband back, well you know what Mrs Reigns I think that can be arranged, in fact I got Roman right here and I think he wants to come home tomorrow,"
"Give me that phone!" Roman said and Seth laughed as he tried to placate his wife, "Baby I told you I'd be out all weekend, I know you miss me but . . . okay, I miss you too baby, I'll be home tomorrow. What do you mean I can't bring Dean home with me? Now you're just being unreasonable! Okay I'll see you tomorrow, I love you. Yeah I'll bring the diamond necklace from Rodeo Drive that you just found online. It's how much?! Okay no problem my love I got it all covered. Bye darling," Roman turned t who was still sitting down quite comfortably.
"Now that's how you save a marriage. You need to stop worrying about Seth and Sasha and start making your old lady feel like she's the most important thing in your life, not Mr and Mrs Rollins or Mr Ambrose. Am I getting through to you Roman?" Belair said wisely. "I spend a lot of time with Seth, he's not worth losing your wife over, trust me on that,"
"Try not to drool when you're scrolling down my Instagram page," Seth replied a scrolled down his Instagram page forgetting Seth was right in front of her.
"When did you even get a chance to take these photos?" E S T asked him. "I was with you all day I didn't see you do any selfies,"
"My wife uploaded them, just after we had – nevermind," Seth replied. "I'll get her to take it down she just needs a little more time with them,"
"That's disgusting! See Roman I told you, you ain't missing nothing. Putting post sex photos on your Instagram page, what the Hell has gotten into you Rollins?" E S T said in disgust.
"It wasn't me!" Seth explained. "I'm not the bad guy here,"
"Well your wife clearly needs you more than I do, so why don't you go hang with her while I talk to
E S T for a minute?" Roman said and Seth hugged him.
"Be nice okay? She'll kick you're a** if you're not," Seth said before looking at him seriously. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, I just got a lot on my plate and I can't put you first anymore. The only person I can really put first is God, He gave me this Gift and I have to let Him show me how to use it. That's why I'm out here having a Bible Study wit on a Friday night. That's not exactly the kind of thing we would usually do but I have to do it, its part of being a Christian. We have to sacrifice the things we love to help others get to know Jesus Christ better. I thought of all people you would understand that Roman, you've been a Christian longer than I have."
Roman nodded, "Maybe one day I'll understand that but I just don't get it Seth. This is why Sasha left you in New York. The truth is though, it doesn't matter what side of the country you're on, as long as she's married to you, she's always going to feel alone. You're really good at abandoning people Seth, maybe that's why God knew you'd be good at this. He knew you'd follow Him and leave all the people that care about you behind, whether they need you or not,"
"She needs me," Seth said pointing to E S T, "You can't have me all to yourself Roman, those days are over and now I need to let God share me with the people you don't know but they're the very people He wants me to help. Just go home to your wife and stop being such a baby,"
Seth stroked Roman's hair adoringly letting Roman know he really did care about him then he sat back down next to E S T. "Let's do this," he said to her and they resumed Bible Study while Roman watched them talk over the Bible as he faded into the background of Seth's new life.
"Bye Seth," he said sadly and he walked away and arranged to take the first flight out of Los Angeles.
Or at least that's what he thought he was going to do when his phone rang. "Hello, who is this?" he said not recognising the number.
"It's LC, Hunter and Joanie's daughter. I need to see you and Dean right now, hurry up its an emergency. Can you get over to my house? Its on Agoura Hills,"
"Actually I was about to book a flight back to Florida, can this wait?" Roman asked her.
"Absolutely not, you're not leaving LA anytime soon. I'll tell you more when you get here, bring your stuff this could take all weekend to explain but you gotta hear what Cameron and I have to tell you," LC said emphatically and now Roman was nervous.
"Okay I'll fly my wife out to LA instead, I think she'd rather see that diamond necklace up close and in person anyway," Roman said and he hung up and called his wife wondering what on Earth LC and Cameron Michaels had to say to him and Dean that couldn't wait until the morning.