"I'm heading out. You want anything, Milah?"
"No. Nothing that won't last 'til tonight, anyway." Kamilah looked up at the tap on her head, greeted by a smile from Ana, before her wife glanced at the messy mop of hair beside her.
"Oh, didn't see you there, little one. You want anything? A comb, maybe?"
"No," Fareeha muttered. A few mumbled growls followed, which Kamilah assumed were grumbles at Ana's tease. She didn't react when Ana dared reach down to ruffle her hair briefly.
"Alright then. Call me if you need anything."
Kamilah hummed, eyes flicking aside to glimpse a dark long-sleeved shirt and pants, before Ana disappeared into the corridor leading to the garage. Her eyes roved back to the TV, absentmindedly picking a piece of popcorn from a tub sitting between her and Fareeha, as she heard the distant hum from her hoverbike. A grimace scrunched her face when the garage's door creaked loud enough to hear – time to give Fareeha a chore before her daughter left for Giza.
"She's been out every day."
Kamilah paused, unsure if the bedraggled lump beside her had spoken. Looking to her left didn't help either – Fareeha had wrapped a small blanket around her shoulders, face somewhere between 'I don't wanna be awake' and 'I hate myself right now'. Her eyes stared at the gaming device in her hands, thumbs tapping away at buttons listlessly as she built another house in her virtual village.
"Yeah?"
"Where does she go?" Fareeha rumbled.
"I don't know. She doesn't report to me."
Fareeha sniffed, pulling her legs from the footstool to curl them on the sofa. "I'unno. Like a sudden change."
"She has stayed home for a few weeks. I'm not surprised she's getting restless. Something you're familiar with, I imagine?
A low rumble from Fareeha's throat. "I need the sun, okay." She sniffed again. "Speaking of, you still need to go out more."
"Maybe." Kamilah glanced at her daughter, the unmoving lump, and couldn't help but be tickled. "Probably not to party until I lose my soul, though."
Her daughter half-whined and grumbled. Fareeha's friends had swept by the house and stolen her away for the whole of yesterday, and she'd only returned sometime in the early morning to crash into her bed. Sapped of all energy, Fareeha had only drunk a glass of milk since crawling out of the covers, then crumpled onto the sofa to steal popcorn while building her village.
"How does omelette for lunch sound?"
Fareeha groaned, then leaned over to drop her head onto Kamilah's shoulder. "Love you, mama."
"Because I make you hangover foods."
"That too."
Kamilah hadn't wanted to say anything – not in front of Fareeha, and much less to Ana's face. But she'd noticed Ana's mute tension growing over the days, her eye fixed on the horizon with a faraway gaze. It was different from the 'overexcited puppy' manner she'd shared with Fareeha in her younger days, and in a way Kamilah didn't quite like. She'd seen Ana like this before, during the times when she'd visited the Overwatch HQ by herself; Ana had seemed unfocused even when they were alone together, and she would always slip away to her office at night when she thought Kamilah was asleep.
That, she could understand in the Captain. But in Ana, now, was...baffling. Kamilah had hoped Ana wasn't up to anything this time, then decided to end this pointless wondering.
"Where are you going?" Kamilah asked, stopping Ana as she headed to the garage on yet another day.
Ana slowed to a stop, looking surprised at the question, and scratched at her cheek. Kamilah cocked her head at the hesitation, waiting patiently. Seconds passed as discomfort built, and she was about to desist when Ana relented.
"I don't have anywhere specific in mind. Just...gonna cruise around the city, that's all."
"Oh. Mind if I come along?"
Ana's brows rose. "Really? I'm just–, really not gonna do much. Just wandering, really."
"That's fine. I feel like walking around. And I need more sun, anyway."
Ana tossed the hoverbike's lock device between her hands, and smiled after a moment of silence. "Great. It'll be nice to have you around."
A pang hit Kamilah's chest as Ana turned away. Ana's easy acquiescence put to rest Kamilah's unease – something so minor that she hadn't been aware until now. It was suspicion, she realised, and Ana deserved better.
"Coming, Milah?" Ana called from the garage.
Her heart skipped. "Yeah, I'm coming."
True to her word, Ana cruised through the roads of Cairo without a specific destination in mind, hoverbike gliding over smooth tar which turned rough in the city's older districts. Clouds overhead shaded them from the morning sun's glare, and the breeze rushed past her neck, left exposed by the open collar of her faded brown leather jacket. A gentle smile sat on Kamilah's lips as she kept her arms locked around Ana's waist, leaning lightly against the rider's back, while she lost herself in long-forgotten memories – softer times when her smiles rose without a weight in her chest as counterbalance.
When she let herself forget events of the recent past, this could be any other day in their lives before, a date where neither knew what they wanted to do, other than stay close to each other. It was all that mattered; to keep their lives bright, future certain. Doing little nothings with each other: Ana parking the bike at random spots on the road, pulling Kamilah down alleys where she'd spotted something interesting from impossibly far away. Picking up little tidbits from roadside shops, Ana striking up casual conversations with its owner while Kamilah's eyes roved over the displays, both chewing on snacks to keep themselves entertained more than to fill their stomachs.
All that was different were the colour of their hair, the wrinkles on their skin, their slower gaits, the subtle rasp in their voices from an age of use. A familiarity which bonded them through thick and thin, guided their fingers to entwine without thinking, knocking their shoulders together while Ana whispered a quip that made Kamilah roll her eyes and fail to hide a smile. Ana's lingering gaze, as if she were trying to etch her wife's image into mind once more, before turning away when caught.
It was so easy to fall back into what had been, given time to accept all that had happened. Maybe Ana was right, always seeing something in the distance Kamilah couldn't; they could try to be happy, one more time.
They spent the entire day by themselves, and stayed out late into the night too, leaving Fareeha alone to 'order a pizza and shove the whole thing into my mouth'. When the sun had set, and stars dotted the sky in its stead, they decided to leave the chrome and concrete of the city behind, following less well-used roads that led them deeper into the desert. Not too far, and they made sure to stay in a corner where inns and bike rentals were visible with their lights dotting the roadside, while few flickering campfires could be spotted near the horizon, deep into the desert.
Straying off-road, armed with experience and Kamilah's warnings to watch out for the hoverbike, Ana picked a spot some distance behind an inn with lights not as garish as its counterparts. This far out in the sands, there was nothing to provide illumination, save for the bike's glowing striplights and headlights – the latter of which they found obnoxious, and switched off. There was a certain charm, being 'lost' in the darkness of the desert, disconnected from life in the city and the baggage tied to it. An oasis of serenity, as it were, and already Kamilah never wished to leave this place.
She glanced at Ana, who sat with her on the bike propped up on its stands. Lit by the bike's gentle blue glow, Ana's profile was silhouetted perfectly against the desert, exuding the confident ease of Captain Amari who'd captured many a heart in her day.
Ana caught her eye, and smirked. "Stare any longer, and I might have to start charging you."
Kamilah crossed her arms, making sure her eye roll was visible. "Don't make me pull the wife card."
Prolonged silence as Ana stared at her, face unreadable, before she laughed under her breath. "I wouldn't mind if you pulled that card for the rest of our lives."
'Whipped' was one word Kamilah had heard Ana described with, too many times to count. What others didn't know, was that the word could apply to Kamilah as well as it did Ana. It helped to be able to hide it so easily – a fact that didn't change now. Kamilah hid the self-indulgent smile with ease, as Ana's gaze turned back to the campfires in the distance.
"You've been...restless lately." Kamilah broke the comfortable silence with tentative slowness. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah. It's just that these legs are still used to running all over the place." Ana patted at her legs with both hands. "After staying at home, guess I need to stretch them well. Otherwise I might go stir-crazy."
Kamilah drummed her fingers on an elbow. "Do you miss it? Running around with Jack?"
A lengthy pause, broken by Ana's laugh. "Yes. I know it's not what you want to hear, but to a certain degree...yes. I do miss it." She sighed and leaned back, resting both hands on the bike. "I've spent my whole life chasing that rush in the field. And when I'm not dodging or shooting bullets, I'm having headaches over missions, logistics, whatever problem the world dumps at our feet. Now that I've slowed down...I don't know what to do with myself."
She lapsed into silence, heavy with unspoken thoughts, then shrugged. "I guess I feel...useless."
"You're not."
Ana smiled at the quickness of her reply. "You're too soft on me, albi. Always have been." Her murmur trailed off, gaze falling to the sand beneath their boots. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to...be better. Whatever 'better' means. Better than I was, I suppose? Or just a good person in general. I don't know."
"Well, what does Allah say?" Kamilah asked, laughter dotting her voice. "Isn't He helping?"
Ana wore a wry smirk. "I'm starting to think that He likes to watch me bounce off the bloody walls, looking for an answer." Her voice trailed into a near-inaudible mutter, "That asshole."
Kamilah raised her brows, while a sheepish look crossed Ana's face. This wasn't the first time she'd heard Ana slip up – in her infrequent prayers, Kamilah had heard Ana snap an expletive in frustration whenever she forgot the words, or got them mixed up. Even if she didn't get it right, though, Kamilah thought all her efforts should count for something.
"Sorry." Ana fidgeted with the corner of her hijab. "I just get so...done, sometimes. I don't know why I even try. I'm not made for this."
"At least you're trying." Kamilah eyed Ana's scarf, as her wife played with its fringe. "Does it help? You were never religious before."
Ana barked a laugh. "I've been asking myself the very same thing. I don't know." She twisted the fabric between two fingers. "I told you about the mosque in Giza, right? At first, I only sat in during prayers because it reminded me of my mom. First time in a long while that anything did. I remembered her, how strong she was, how it always felt like nothing could stop her."
She fell quiet, hand dropping from the scarf. "And then I stayed and tried, because I...think I wanted to chase that feeling. To feel like how she was to me. But...I don't know," she sighed. "I don't know if it's really working, or if I just want something to hold onto. To keep me going."
"Now that your life's slowed down?"
"Feels like it should've ended long ago." Ana's voice cut off abruptly when the last word left her tongue, and her gaze snapped up to the horizon beyond, staring at the peak of a rock formation. She rose from the bike's leather seat, and stuttered when Kamilah clutched her arm. "I–I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to ask for–"
Kamilah stood and yanked her in, wrapping both arms tight around her wife before she could escape. "I'm glad you're here. You know that?" Kamilah uttered into her ear, throat tight, fingertips digging into Ana's sweater. "I know I haven't said it, and my chest still hurts whenever I think of you. But I'm glad you're here. And I won't let anything tear you away from me, ever again."
Ana huffed a laugh, voice thick, as her arms circled around Kamilah as well. "You're going to make me cry."
"Serves you right," Kamilah chuckled breathlessly, as Ana drew her closer. She held onto her wife, tight as she could, relishing the strength of Ana's embrace. She'd missed this, missed it so damned much she could feel the ache in her bones.
Ana laughed again, squeezing Kamilah once more, then pulled back to rest their heads together. She drew breath as if to speak, but a hitch made her pause. When she found her voice again, it came whisper-soft, "I don't deserve you."
Kamilah looked up at Ana, lone eye screwed shut, and her heart twisted. Reaching up, she stroked Ana's cheek, cupped it to draw her wife's attention. "Is that really for you to judge?"
A laugh squeezed through Ana's throat, her eye peering back at Kamilah, searching. "I suppose not. But you are quite biased in this matter."
"Yes," Kamilah murmured, fingers grasping Ana's nape to draw her in. "Yes, I am."
Their lips met – soft, cautious. Ana didn't move further than the gentlest peck, but found permission in Kamilah's next graze over her lips, sealing the hairsbreadth gap with the desperation of love lost and found again.
When it came time for Fareeha to return to Giza, and assume her post back in the Temple of Anubis, Ana wanted to tag along. That had earned her a badly-hidden look of suspicion from Fareeha, which turned confused when Ana asked her wife along. Kamilah had agreed, then bit down a smile at Fareeha's pout when Ana mentioned gallivanting in the city while their daughter was oh so busy at work.
They drove alongside Fareeha's hoverbike, which stayed beside them half the time, and spent the other half ahead of the car, weaving in and out of traffic. After half an hour, they reached Fareeha's small apartment, and were left to their own devices when their daughter reported to the Temple early to be outfitted with an upgraded version of her armour. Since Fareeha took her hoverbike with her, and they didn't want to bother with the car, Kamilah followed Ana's lead into the city, hand in her wife's as Ana took in the sights of what had been her home away from self-exiled home.
They had cups of hibiscus tea in hand when Ana veered them away from the market where they roamed, leading them to the city's border on a road where few cars drove. Ana came to a stop by the roadside, just shy of an empty bus stop, and turned to gaze at the Giza pyramids standing tall in the desert stretched out before them. Kamilah squinted at the age-old structures through the glare of the sun, adjusted the scarf on her head, and looked at Ana, who stared at the pyramids as well. Her expression was inscrutable, save for the smile when she noticed Kamilah's attention.
"There are marvels of human engineering before your eyes, yet you still choose to look at me."
"Both have much historical significance," Kamilah deadpanned, cracking Ana's smile into a grin. "I mean you're old."
"Sure. And your complexion can rival that of Cleopatra's."
"Thank you."
"The dried up husk of Cleopatra's remains."
"Thank you," Kamilah repeated drily. "Speaking of remains, shouldn't you be dead?"
"Ooh, low blow." Ana's smirk remained, as her arm came to rest around Kamilah's waist. "But I've decided – I'll be dead when my wife decides I should be."
"Then you're getting close." Kamilah sighed, receiving a kiss on her temple. "Why are we here?"
Ana shrugged. "I missed it, that's all. Sounds weird, but there's a quaint charm to living among the dead, while the world thinks you were…" Her voice faded, eye flickering carefully to Kamilah's face. "I–, uh. Forget I said that."
"Too late. You're getting closer now." Kamilah huffed when Ana gave her a squeeze. She looked out at the pyramids again. "Is he still there?"
"No," Ana whispered, as though worried the wind might carry her words. "He left a while ago."
"Where?"
"Home. Think he's trying to live, like I am now." Ana seemed to consider, then added. "As much as he can, anyway."
"Good for him." Mention of the man who'd been a reason Ana had stayed away home for so long, didn't exactly bring...happy thoughts to mind. But then, Ana had said that Jack was the main push behind her decision to return home, so Kamilah paid off her part of the debt by not imagining her arms locked around his neck. Maybe she hadn't forgiven Jack for leaving Ana behind. Maybe.
Heaving a quiet sigh, and attracting a curious look from Ana, Kamilah asked, "You...want to take a closer look?"
A wry smirk. "No, I shouldn't. It's gone untended for too long, who knows what shady figures are crawling over that place now. Even if I'm pretty sure we never left a trail." Ana shrugged, nonchalant. "Besides, he'd kick my ass if I went back."
"Thought you said he's not there?"
"Yeah, but he was also pretty adamant about me leaving my old life behind. He'd probably take a leaf from your book and fly over just to hit me." Ana met Kamilah's eyes, staring in silent question. "He told me how you'd flown to Zurich and socked him in the nose the moment you landed."
Kamilah grimaced. "Yes...well. I was angry."
"You don't say."
"He left you behind."
"It was my fault, actually. He ordered me to leave with the team, but I–" Ana stopped herself abruptly, but schooled her features back into a casual mask when Kamilah tilted her head. "It's nothing. Anyway, I shouldn't even be thinking about this. All in the past, right?"
Ana's smile was forced, not reaching her eye, and Kamilah decided not to push. "Yeah. Shall we move?"
Ana took her hand, and led her down the road back into the city. "Hey, let's drop by that mosque I visited. The imam there, he's pretty nice. He'll be happy to know we've got things sorted out."
Days later, they were back in Cairo, owing to Ana's desire to be as far from the Necropolis as possible. Ana resumed her walks in the city, and Kamilah started accompanying her more often – and it wasn't long before Ana talked Kamilah into something she'd held off on for most of her life. Her wife had always wanted to volunteer at a animal shelter, but never could due to her busy schedule back at the base. Now that she was retired, with her life restored to an order like before, she had more than enough time to indulge in a modest dream she'd always had.
They found a shelter just a short drive from home, where they started off cleaning cages and its residents, filling feed bowls, and walking those which can be walked. Ana found the most fun walking several dogs at once – though she had to be dissuaded from gathering a literal dog army to march down the neighbourhood. Kamilah was happy enough to roll around with a few kittens in the shelter, but joined Ana on some of her walks with a cat or two on leashes. More often than not, the cats would lie down mid-walk, unconcerned with keeping up with their rambunctious canine counterparts, and Kamilah had to cradle the cats in her arms like babies to finish the walk. It reminded her of carrying little Fareeha, she mentioned once, and got a loud snort-laugh from Ana which earned an offended stare from one cat.
A few weeks passed, always with their shelter visits as the highlight of the week. Eventually, Ana talked Kamilah into fostering one kitten which always clung to her arm when it saw her. Kamilah never had a chance to keep a pet before, given her busy schedule as a colonel, and Ana relished the look on her wife's face when she realised she could finally keep one – or a few, if things went well.
So it was that they went home one day, with an inquisitive ball of white and ginger-striped fur in Kamilah's hands, pawing up at the human who kept nuzzling it with a delighted smile on her face. Latte, this little one was called, and he was eager to explore the house, with an unfortunate penchant for knocking into walls when running too quickly to his object of interest. He never minded the knocks, and did his best to waddle next to Kamilah or Ana, whoever was closest and could best hear his pitched mewling.
They kept Latte a secret, before snapping a photo of him poking his face into a bowl of wet food, and sending it to the group chat. The sun had set when the reaction they'd expected exploded in their phones, with a string of messages from Fareeha yelling, 'OH, SO I'M THE ONLY ONE NOT ALLOWED TO KEEP PETS? IS THAT IT?'
Sure enough, Fareeha flew back home on her next off day, banged through the door, and swept Latte up into her hands, crooning and cooing and nuzzling the kitten in much the same manner as her mama. She refused to leave it alone, what with her childhood dream come true, and they had to pry Latte off her fingers just so she could eat her meals in peace.
With Fareeha so taken with the cat, it was a wonder that Ana could finally steal Latte for herself one afternoon, dozing in a lounge chair under the tree in their backyard, with a napping kitten curled up on her chest. She couldn't help but smile to herself, gazing up at the sky through tinted shades. If this was the retirement life, well, she could get used to it. This could only get better if she'd retired to Hawaii...or had some retirement property there. She did leave a sizable inheritance to Kamilah and Fareeha after all…
"Ana!"
Ana jumped when Kamilah's voice floated through the kitchen window. She blinked blearily, not realising she'd dozed off again.
"Yeah?"
"Your parcel just arrived. Why is it so big?"
"I ordered a strap."
"I didn't need to fucking hear that," came Fareeha's exasperated yell a split-second later.
"You know what? I'm gonna throw this in the trash."
"No, don't!" Ana cackled as she gathered Latte in her hands, jogging back into the house before Kamilah could toss the cat toy and boxes of tea leaves she'd ordered.
It might still be difficult to stay at home and behave, on more days she cared to admit. But for this? It was well worth the effort.
A/N: This chapter's named after a Beyoncé song of the same name. Give it a listen if you wanna (/¯–‿･)/¯