The beginning of training wasn't easy, but growing up with Marcus had strengthened my reflexes and made me much faster than most of the class. However, I was still very small and I lacked the physical body strength that was necessary for the fights that were coming up.
Tobias had offered many times to train me privately, but I refused every time. There was no way I was going to accept special treatment, even if it could help me in the rankings. It didn't matter, anyways, all it decided was what job I would get.
Or so I thought.
About one week into training, Max came down and stood beside Eric and my brother, stopping all training with a single glance.
"Initiates," his voice boomed. "It has been decided by us leaders that only the top twenty of you will pass the initiation. Those of you who fall below the ranking of twenty will then be factionless. This is a new rule that we will begin enforcing this year, so no complaining or you're out. We can only have the best of the best in our faction. Remember that. Good luck."
Every one of my peers squared their shoulders and began to go at the punching bags with much more force. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and imagined Marcus as the one I was punching. Before long, I was attacking the bag with just as much force as my peers, if not more. I caught Four's eye as he frowned, knowing exactly what was happening, but I continued anyway.
"You're putting all of your force into your fist," a voice said from behind me. "Make sure that the source of the power is coming from your whole body, not just your arm. Keep your core tight, and don't forget that your elbows are your greatest asset."
I turned suddenly to find myself face to face with Eric, who was watching me with cold blue eyes. My breath caught as I realized how close we were standing. After another second, he walked away. Before he did, though, I could swear something flashed within his eyes.
And I could only hope that it wasn't recognition. The last thing I needed was for Eric to find out that Four was my brother. That would ruin everything I had worked for, and I would be factionless within the next month.
The next few days were spent on shooting, and due to my lack of experience, I was positively terrible. Four went through the line and tried to correct the other initiates, but it was obvious to me that he really only wanted to correct my shot. Before he could, though, Eric yet again stepped in and positioned my body without a word. I looked through the scope, and when I fired it actually hit the target for the first time. It wasn't the middle but it was a start.
When I turned around to thank him, he was already gone.
Later, at dinner, I sat down with Hadley and she introduced me to some of the other transfers from Candor. The first was Isaac, a tall and buff blonde-haired boy with a crooked smile and bright green eyes. He was surprisingly quiet for a former member of Candor, but no one else seemed to think it odd. The other was Sophia, a dark-skinned girl with brown curly hair and doe eyes. She was quite sweet and even asked if I would train with her sometime. If I had to guess, I would've thought that she would be in Amity due to her kind demeanor. However, the way she looked at her steak was enough to differ me from that thought.
About halfway through dinner, Four walked by, lightly shoving my shoulder with his tray.
"Watch it, initiate," he growled, but as we made eye contact, his eyes flicked towards the door. He wanted to talk to me, alone.
I just rolled my eyes, but I got up and put my tray away after two minutes or so. When I reached the exit, I searched the corridors to see which one he had gone down. Before long, I found his dark blue eyes staring at me, and I jogged to meet up with him in an abandoned room.
"I don't like that Eric keeps helping you," he said as soon as I entered the room. "I think he might suspect that we know each other."
"If you could just keep your eyes off of me and stop worrying about me, that wouldn't be the case," I shot back, annoyed with his unnecessary concern. "Eric is helping me because he has to."
"He's not helping anyone else. And just before I can get to you, he shoves his way in. It feels wrong, and I know that if he were to figure out our relationship, he would use that against you."
"How?" I laughed. "Or rather, why? What's one initiate to him?"
"He hates me with a passion," Four replied. "All because I beat him in the rankings last year. He's dangerous, and I'm worried about you."
"Don't be," I said, my face returning to the stony look that had become my default. "I've had to fend for myself this past year, what makes this any different? And trust me, anything that Marcus has done to me is much worse than anything else I will ever have to endure."
My brother's face fell, soaking in my words with guilt. "What did he do to you?" he whispered.
As tears threatened to force their way from my eyes, I stormed past him and down the hallway to the pit. He had no right to question me, and he had no right to make me reopen wounds that I would rather let scar.
It wasn't long before I found Hadley and Sophia, both shopping for clothing. They were laughing together, and when they saw me, they immediately waved me over.
I had been hesitant to get to know Sophia, but she seemed sweet. Even though it was against my better judgment, I knew that having more people around me would make it easier to survive initiation. All I knew, though, was that they would never know my secrets. No one would ever get that close to me. Once they knew my weaknesses, they became dangerous. But that didn't mean it hurt any less to keep them at arm's length.
"I was wondering where you went," Hadley said. "We've been looking for clothes! I found some you might like!"
She then held up a cropped black spaghetti-strapped shirt with black jeans, paired with six-inch heeled boots.
"How am I supposed to wear those shoes," I replied, my face turning red at the thought. "They just seem like more of a hassle."
"But a cute hassle," Sophia cut in. "And plus, you'd only wear them on nights out."
By the end of the trip, I agreed. It wasn't long before they took me in and out of other shops, finding new and useless things for the dorm as I just watched and laughed at their antics.
Finally, we stopped in front of a tattoo parlor. I remembered my brother's words, advising me to cover my scars with tattoos, and I walked confidently into the store.
A woman, covered in tattoos with piercings in places I didn't know could be pierced, stood at the counter, grinning as we took in the place. There were designs all over the walls, with different stones on racks with the type of piercing we could choose. The prices were behind the counter, specifying everything necessary and leaving no room for questions. Meanwhile, the dark lights and busy people made it all feel professional, yet personal.
"Choose a design," the woman said, "and then bring it to a chair. Someone will help you once you're there."
Looking over the array of art, my gaze focused on a single design. It was a simple piece of art. A single lotus flower, beaded, was drawn around the silhouette of a raven flying upwards. It was quite beautiful, with a grace and strength that radiated power. Taking it in my hand, I approached the nearest empty chair.
"I'll take this one on my back," I told the man who walked up to me. He nodded with a slight smile.
"I drew this one," he laughed. "No one has ever chosen it to my knowledge. It's probably my favorite design in the store."
"What does it symbolize?"
"Well, the lotus is symbolic of rebirth. They can spread their roots through the ugliest waters and still produce a flower more beautiful than any other. The raven, however, is more complex. Though the flower may be beautiful, the bird can be seen as a darker omen of death and destruction. However, it also is a symbol of transformation, much like the lotus. They balance each other out with the lightness and darkness associated with each, giving the symbol power."
My breath caught in my throat as I realized the deeper meaning behind what I was to mark my body with.
"It's perfect," I whispered.
Half an hour later, Sophia and Hadley dragged me from the store as I said goodbye to Patrick, the artist who had inked me. We spent the rest of the day talking, drinking, and eating as much cake as we could stomach.
It was the first time I had felt truly happy in years.