ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain – The Black Heart Diaries
After her movie with John Cena and the Rock becomes a Hollywood hit Sasha Banks pitches a web series called the Black Heart Diaries and offers Bayley the lead role based on her diary.
Chapter Eighteen – The Hair Guy
The Rock's kitchen
Seth slid down the banister and headed towards the kitchen with his hair in a bun and a smile on this face. Bayley was out of his closet so he was able to pray in peace and God told him that Bianca Belair needed him right away. When he entered the Rock's kitchen he realised why that was; the Fords were arguing about Charlotte. Montez knew that the Queen had feelings for him for real and he was not happy that Bianca knew but didn't tell him. Seth pulled up a stool right in the middle of them to redirect the conversation which was getting very heated. He didn't even have time to ask who let the cat out of the bag about Charlotte liking Montez for real.
"Well that's it, I'm telling Hunter I don't wanna do this angle anymore. I am not putting my marriage at risk Bianca I love you too much to lose you over Charlotte Flair," Montez said and Bianca looked at Seth sadly. "Why are you looking at Seth, is there something else you're not telling me babe?"
"The reason she's looking at me is because she's waiting on me to give her an update on this whole thing from God. It was Trish Stratus that told me that Charlotte was going to make a move on you but I didn't tell Bianca about it, God told her himself when Charlotte came over to your house last weekend. It was a real shock, she's not been hiding anything from you, it's just a lot to deal with," Seth explained.
"I've dealt with it I told you I'm not working with Charlotte Flair anymore," Montez told Seth who shook his head.
"It won't make a difference if you work with her or not, she's still gonna make a move on you," Seth replied.
"Not if I break off all contact with her," Montez said.
"You can't break off all contact with her, you work for the same company plus she's in a major storyline with Bianca, you can't ignore her Montez," Seth said pragmatically.
"So what am I supposed to do? Hang out until she rips my clothes off? Sorry babe didn't mean that, she means nothing to me you have to believe me when I say that," Montez said to his wife who was taking it all in and trying to stay calm. "I have absolutely zero feelings for Charlotte Flair and if I can do anything to make this thing go away I'll do it,"
Bianca nodded, "You mean like when you let me go to Los Angeles with Seth, leaving you in the house all weekend and giving Charlotte Flair the perfect road into our marriage?" she said dismissively. "Seth's right babe you can't do anything about this, she is totally into you and you being separated from me is not going to help that,"
"So let's not be separated! I'll move to LA with you, Seth and Sasha!" Montez said.
"We have to go back to work on the East Coast this week, you can't escape the inevitable babe. Charlotte Flair is a part of both our lives now both inside the ring and out, it won't be long before our storyline becomes real life," Bianca said and Seth raised his hand in objection.
"Unless I can figure out what Stephanie McMahon Hardy is doing with Charlotte Flair. If I can figure out Steph's motivation for getting to Charlotte then I can figure out Steph's motivation for getting Charlotte to work with her, then I can probably get you both out of this situation," Seth said.
"So what am I supposed to do in the mean-time? Just pretend that I'm not creeped out by the fact that Charlotte Flair is trying to make a move on me? I can't put my wife through that Seth!" Montez said and he sniffed the air, "What is that smell?"
"Your wife's already going through that Montez, or haven't you been paying attention?" Seth said ignoring Montez's question.
Bianca shook her head as her husband continued to ignore Seth's question and sniff the air, "That's Seth's hair you're smelling, isn't it beautiful?" she said admiring Seth's hair fondly.
"Is this really the time for hair talk?" Seth asked Bianca in disapproval and Montez stood up and leaned over Seth to inhale his hair.
"Mother of God!" Montez said amazed by the smell coming out of Seth's hair.
"Hey watch your language, Jesus is very precious about how you talk about his mom," Seth said as Montez continued to inhale his hair. "Will you sit down we need to finish our talk about Charlotte Flair,"
Montez returned to his stool, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever smelt in my life. What is it?" he asked Seth.
"Some of your wife's black hair stuff, I can't even pronounce it but my wife really loves it," Seth said with a smile. "I couldn't get her to take her hands off me this morning,"
"Seth that's every morning," Bianca said.
"What is it babe?" Montez asked his wife.
"I think it's the stuff Jesus put in his hair," Bianca replied. "I got it from a Messianic Jew in Hollywood who has a hair guy in Jerusalem. He has hair just like Seth's,"
"Some random dude gave you stuff to put on my hair and you think it's from God?" Seth said quizzically.
"No I researched it what kind of Bible student do you think I am Seth? I would never do that without checking with the word of God first," Bianca said and Seth nodded impressed.
"So can I use it?" Montez asked but Bianca shook her head. "Why not?"
"Only Seth can use it, I bought it exclusively for him. The stuff you use is fine Monty plus your hair is totally different it wouldn't have the same effect," Bianca replied.
"Seth tell my wife she's being unreasonable," Montez said to Seth who laughed.
"You heard her, she bought it for me if I want to share it with you I will an there's nothing she can do about it," Seth replied and he went up to Sasha's bedroom to retrieve the hair product.
He returned with what looked like a little tub of lip balm and he gave it to Montez who tried to open it.
"Etsba abar more," Montez said reading the words inscribed on the top of the little tub. "What does that mean? I can't open this thing!"
Bianca smiled while playing with her braid, "I told you I bought it for Seth, only he can open it,"
"Give it here," Seth said and Montez gave the hair stuff back to Seth who twisted the lid open in one swift motion. "There you go," he said handing it back to Montez whose eyes fluttered with joy at the smell coming out of the little tub.
"Its like Heaven," he said and he gave it back to Seth, "there's only enough in here for one dude and that's you Seth. With all that hair on your head you need this a lot more than I do,"
"Okay, can we get back to Charlotte now you have done discussing my hair?" Seth said pocketing the hair product.
"I've got this I know exactly how to handle this situation. I'm going to tell Charlotte that I'm happily married and that I'm sorry if she thought I was interested in her," Montez said.
Bianca sighed, "See this is why I didn't tell you. You think you can stop this but you can't. This is not your fault Montez, this is going to happen to us and we're just going to have to get through it. I know you love me but whatever is going on behind this is stronger than your declaration of love for me," she said soberly.
"There is nothing stronger than my love for you Bianca and I'm going to prove that to you this week," Montez said and Bianca frowned at her husband.
"What does that mean?" she asked curiously.
"Don't you worry about that, all you got to know is that I got this my love," Montez said and he took Bianca's hands and pressed them to his lips.
Seth watched them with great determination; as sweet as his lips were Montez's lips were also valuable to someone who was willing to sacrifice much more than any human being walking this earth to have them pressed against her fair and beautiful cheek. He had to expose her before Bianca lost the one thing she loved more than working out and that was her husband Montez Ford. He had to find out what was driving Charlotte Flair to the brink of adultery from which there would be no return for the Queen.
"I hate seeing you guys hurt like this and I'm going to let you know as soon as God gives me insight into this whole thing, in the meantime Montez I would advise you strongly to play along. Don't let Charlotte know that you know that she likes you more than a colleague. Let her think you're clueless and hopefully she'll wait before pouncing on you if you can stay friends for a bit longer," Seth said and Bianca felt like her heart was being hammered to bits.
Montez hugged his wife lovingly, "Baby its going to be okay I promise," he said to her genuinely but she took it the wrong way and pushed him back angrily.
"Don't promise me anything ever again," she snapped. "Just play dumb like Seth said, you're really good at that Montez Ford,"
"Ouch!" Montez said but then he nodded, "Its true I am good at playing dumb. I'm actually a really smart dude though,"
"You're also incredibly attractive," Seth said wandering into the kitchen to find some of Roman's home made muesli, "that's a good combination,"
Seth peered into the pot that was once teeming with Roman's muesli but it was empty now and he was upset that he had missed out on a Shield breakfast staple.
"It was delicious, Roman is a mean cook," Montez Ford said.
"To me he's just mean period," Bianca said still wondering what was bugging Roman so much.
Seth pouted, "He forgot to leave me some, I guess I'm not as over him as I thought I was,"
"Aw don't pout God boy, I know my way around the stove. Let me whip you up some of my own. I'm sure there's some oats and fruit in this kitchen," Montez said looking around but Seth wouldn't hear of it.
"Will you get out of this kitchen and go take your wife on a date? You need to max out your free time before we all go back to work and have to face Charlotte Flair head on," Seth said and Montez grabbed his wife by the arm and headed to her red thunderbird and they went on a SoCal road trip for the rest of the day.
Seth pulled his special new hair product out of his pocket and translated the inscription. It was taken from the Bible book called Song of Solomon 5:5 and it meant, "I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock." Seth said reciting the Scripture. "So you really did give this to Bianca didn't you?" he asked God.
How many Messianic Jews handing out hair products do you know in Hollywood? Jesus replied and Seth smiled loving that God cared about his hair enough to disguise himself just to make sure Bianca gave him his own personal brand of hair care.
"Thanks God," he said before finding Roman and asking him to make him some more muesli.
Seth there's one thing you need to know about the hair product Jesus said to Seth before he entered the pool area.
"What?" Seth asked the Lord.
It's not just for your hair it's for your Treasurer's hair too Jesus said.
"Oh, so we can both use it?" Seth asked.
Yes but only with each other; what Bianca said was True, I gave this to her for you exclusively but if someone other than yourself uses it, the power it has will be of no effect Jesus explained.
Seth frowned, "This hair stuff has power?" he asked puzzled. "What power does it have?"
Didn't you find it odd that your wife was so drawn to you this morning? It has the power to bring husbands and wives closer together Jesus explained and Seth smiled and Jesus continued, so if you put it in Bianca's hair it'll be even harder for her husband to be drawn to another woman.
"I got it, this hair product is the key to keeping Charlotte Flair away from Montez Ford!" Seth said happily. "This hair stuff is the solution that I've been waiting for, thank you Jesus!"
Wait hold on a second, I didn't say anything about it stopping Charlotte Flair from going after Montez Ford, I said it will draw Montez closer to his wife if you put it on her hair Jesus said for clarity.
"Why do I feel like that's not as cool as it sounds?" Seth asked Jesus.
Because what I'm telling you is that it has a very specific purpose and it is not a catch all for your issue with Charlotte Flair and Montez Ford. Use it wisely is what I'm saying Seth.
"Okay Jesus, I think I get it now but I still need an answer about what to do about Charlotte Flair," Seth said to the Lord.
The answer is in my word, keep going Seth you're on the right track Jesus said before leaving Seth to answer another prayer close by and the Prayer Warrior entered the pool area looking at the little tub of hair product thoughtfully.
"So this can bring husbands and wives closer together," he mused before pocketing the hair stuff and he wondered if anyone in his circle of friends had problems in their marriage apart from the Fords.
Roman came over to him, "Guess who's going on a date with my cousin?" he said pointing at Bayley who was in the pool with the Rock.
"Can you make me some muesli?" Seth said ignoring Roman's comment as his belly growled.
"I left you some on the side," Roman said.
"My wife probably ate that," Seth said and Roman patted him on the shoulder.
"No problem I'll make you some more," Roman said. "Aren't you happy Bayley's finally dating again? Looks like she's finally gonna be out of your hair Seth,"
Seth did not share Roman's enthusiasm about Bayley dating the Rock, he was not even eligible as far as he and Hunter were concerned. His focus was not on Bayley right now anyway, it was on Bianca and Montez Ford.
"You wanna have dinner before we all go back to the East Coast?" Seth asked Roman whose face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"I'd love to have dinner with you!" Roman said ecstatically.
"Okay good you can choose the restaurant," Seth said and he hugged Roman lovingly before the Big Dog skipped off to make some more of his homemade muesli. Seth was happy to see that Roman was still the AJ Lee to his CM Punk and if dinner went well it would be the perfect way to end what had been an eventful long weekend on the West Coast with his sexy, pregnant wife. Seth thought that he and Sasha had made enough love to last a lifetime, so going back to Florida and New York would not be a problem for the next month at least. That would give him enough time to focus on getting Charlotte out of the Fords' hair and find out what Stephanie McMahon Hardy was up to.
Little did he know that there would be enough problems for him on the East Coast to make the last few days making love to his wife a distant though very pleasant memory.