A/N Yet again I have to apologize for the long space of time between chapters. Although it hasn't been as long as it has been in the past, it's still to long to my liking.

While I get enough inspiration from my wonderful and amazing girlfriend, this time of the year ain't my favorite season. As I know, many of y'all will know what I mean. I have to thank her and y'all for putting up with me, and definitely more her than anyone else.

I didn't have to think for this chapter's quote at all, as it came into my mind instantly. It's simplicity is so pure and beautifully written, that it will or could bring one's mind into joyful tears.

There is no better way to describe my love for her, and the love of Alex and Oliver, than it's written in this poem...

Chapter 57

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close." - Pablo Neruda.

"So tomorrow morning at 7.30 am they will take you to the downstairs and get you ready for the OR, and I will see you at 8 am in the OR. Is everything clear to you Detective Benson or do you, or Mrs. Benson, have any questions left," Dr. Thomas asked, the surgeon that would perform the surgery.

Oliver looked at his wife, a big smile plastered on his face. Alex shook her head and the Detective raised his eyebrow.

"What no questions? Are you feeling well, Counselor?" Oliver asked teasingly.

"Yes of course I'm well, why wouldn't I?" Alex asked in return.

"No offense, but you always have a dozen questions left and now not even one? That's unusual for you, honey. That's all," Oliver replied.

Alex looked away from Oliver as she wanted to answer the question and Oliver looked at his surgeon, "Would you mind leaving us a few minutes alone, Dr. Thomas?" Oliver asked.

The surgeon nodded at the Detective and left the room, closing the door behind him. Oliver looked back at Alex.

"What's wrong, honey?" Oliver softly asked.

"I'm nervous and maybe just a bit scared. That something might happen to you. So when I don't ask anything, I can keep pretending that nothing will be happening tomorrow, no surgery I mean," Alex answered softly.

"What are you saying Alex? That I shouldn't have the surgery tomorrow? That you don't want me to do it?" Oliver asked, more like whispered, as he took in the blonde's words the wrong way.

Alex swept back her head so fast that she almost got a whiplash from it. She couldn't believe that Oliver would be thinking that she didn't want him to take the surgery. Actually she could believe that the Detective was thinking this, it was Oliver she was talking about and taking this the wrong way was exactly something that would happen with her strong Detective.

"What NO! No Oliver, I'm not saying you shouldn't have your surgery tomorrow. You have been looking forward to this all week long, hell, you've been looking forward to it from the very first moment you started with the hormone treatment. I have been looking forward to it. And I'm so proud of you, Oliver Alexander Benson. I'm just scared that something goes wrong and I'm worried, but that has nothing to do with this particular surgery, Liv. It would have been the same if you had had a surgery for having a broken arm or something less painful. This has nothing to do with our, your, process. It solely has to do with me being worried about you in general," Alex finished, looking into her husband's brown orbs.

"Are you sure that is all that you're worried about?" Oliver asked, as he looked down into his lap.

Alex gently pulled up his face with her finger and looked him into his eyes, as she answered the question Oliver just asked while taking his hand into her own.

"Liv, I might have chosen the wrong words to express myself at first, but I meant it when I said that I'm proud of you. And I have been looking forward to your surgery almost as much as you have been looking forward to it yourself.

Look, I have always been worried about you when we were just friends. When I gave you a warrant, I would be afraid that something might happen to you. When you went out to arrest someone, I would be afraid that you would get harmed or worse. But that was different because we weren't together back then. You weren't my lover or husband, you were my friend, my best friend, and yes while I was worried, I could see it in perspective better, because we hadn't expressed our feelings towards each other. We hadn't said what we felt and we didn't say that we love each other.

I have loved you for a very long time Oliver Alexander Benson, and I will keep loving you till the day I die, when I'm old. But it's harder to pretend or act like nothing will happen now, than it was before. Now that I know that you love me, love me like I love you.

So yes, I will be worried every single time that you have a surgery, that doesn't mean I don't agree with it or that I'm not happy we get further into or with the process. Yes, I will be worried when or if you get back to SVU and you have to go out on the street, arrest a suspect or do an undercover op. Because I love you and I don't want something happen to you or worse, lose you. But none of it, will keep me or us from going trough or going on. It never did and it never will.

I knew what I was getting into when I started a relationship with you. I know that being a cop's wife, or in this case, a Detective's wife, that certain things comes with the job. However, it's not something I will let getting in between us, and it's not something you have to worry about. I know you'll be as careful as you can be, I know that you won't take unnecessary risks. One of the things that I admire in you the most, is for you being a devoted and dedicated Detective. I'm so incredibly proud of what you have achieved and are doing for all the victims and survivors. So yes, I might be worried, but that won't hold me back, not for one second, from being so, so proud of you and wanting for you to keep doing what you're the best at, an SVU Detective for the 16th precinct.

Anyway, coming back to this surgery or any surgery that will or might follow, I will be worried but there's nothing more that I want than for this to happen , except for carrying our child. I have to get used to being worried about someone that I love more than I have ever loved someone else, and you have to get used to someone genuinely cares for you and love you with their body, heart and soul. And last but not least, yes, I'm sure there is nothing else I'm worried about when it concerns you, my big bad and loving Detective," Alex passionately finished.

Oliver nodded at Alex as a sign that he had heard every word she said, but the Detective needed a minute or two to collect himself after the emotional and powerful speech, you could say, Alex had given. With one look at her husband Alex knew it, knowing her Detective as well as she did.

"I don't want you to worry about me, Lex," Oliver softly said, almost whispered.

Alex leaned forward and softly kissed Oliver on his lips.

"I will always worry when it concerns you, Oliver. That's what good wives and husbands do, worry about their spouses whether it's needed or not. It lets them know that they are loved and are cared about. So you may not want me to worry about you, but I will always do it, because I will always love you Oliver Alexander Benson," Alex replied.

"I still may not like it, but I get what you're saying. So I guess I just have to get used to it that someone, or better said, you, will worry about me because you love me," Oliver said.

"That's right. But you get the point. Oh, and you better get used to it, because I intent to spend the rest of my life with you Detective, so you won't get rid off me any time soon," Alex smiled.

Oliver shook his head and smiled as he shifted in his bed and made some space for Alex to lay down, he petted on the bed and looked at Alex with puppy eyes, like he had done so many times before when he was hospitalized. Alex simply shook her head but took off her shoes and crawled into the bed next to her Detective and cuddled up against him. Silently laughing on the inside for what she knew would happen as soon as Dr. Thomas would get back into the room and face her husband. As for Oliver, he got a happy and satisfied smile on his face and was thinking, probably, the exact same thing as his wife. And his smile turned into a smirk. Happy and patiently the couple waited for the Doctor to return.

A/N 2 I have used another quote and wrote it in this chapter, and I'm curious if y'all can find it or know it. Lemme give y'all one hint: the quote I used is from the woman portraying "our" Alex in SVU and many of our stories, Stephanie March. And I say "our" as in one way or another, she belongs in all of our hearts.

Let's see what the next chapter brings us, and whether any of the Doctor's or nurses has to face either or both of our lovely couple's wrath, shall we...?