Bella's Dream

I knew why Trevor was pushing me to open up about my buried secrets, but it didn't mean I had to like it. Hell, I hated it. I hated the fact that Trevor was going to make me uncover part of the past I had locked away from my family. The biggest answer I think my family longed to know is why I had dedicated myself to my father after Edward had removed himself from our family.

"Why are you hiding this, Bella?" Trevor questioned from behind me.

"Because..."

"Because, why?"

I could feel his gift working harder, digging deeper into my mind, forcing me to show my family had buried so long ago-But there was also something new to hide-The dream that had plagued me for so many years, I had finally found the key.

The words left my mouth before I could stop them, they already knew about my dream. "I found the key to my dream..." The numerous gasps filled the room.

My dream started out the same as it always did. Waking up after my father putting me to bed after I hadn't slept in days and him giving me the sleeping pill that kick-starts my dream. Now, I take a shower, reminding myself to stretch really well because I knew I wouldn't be running that day.

Now comes the terrifying feeling I get about being alone in the house alone. An eerie silence fills the house, a feeling I had never felt in this house was fear-the fear of a predator-the instinct of fight or flight gripping me with both hands.

I climb the stairs on shaky legs without the key to Edward's room-knowing that I wouldn't need it. The hallway is dark and feels like it will take me forever to travel down. Walking down the never-ending hallway, I see shadows dancing in a sliver of light from the slightly open door.

With trembling fingers, I open the door all the way to find Edward's room a complete and utter mess. Edward's clothing was strewn all over the room totally shredded into salvageable scraps, Edward's wall of music burns in a smokeless purple blaze. Drawers pulled out of there rightful place and its contents piled in the center of the room. The last thing to catch my eye is a figure of a man shrouded in a dark cloud, moving around the room with agitated purpose.

I know that Edward is the man shrouded in a black cloud. "Edward...what happened? What are you looking for? Why is everything a mess?" Edward steps out of the black cloud; instantly, relief embraces me; if Edward was here, that meant I was safe.

"Bella," Edward's voice is soft, trusting-exactly how I remembered it, beckoning me to his side. "Help me find it, Bella, help me find it, and I will bring you to me; trust me." He demanded, his cold lips at the shell of my ear, his cold breath sweet and delicious as I remembered it to be. Cold, gentle hands sweep my hair away from my face, the electric charge I felt whenever he touched me, zinged on my face, filling my body with electricity and heat.

He was making no sense at all. But, being reunited with him, made all the sense in the world to me. Edward was all I ever wanted since he left. "What do I have to find Edward?" I asked, looking underneath his bed, for what, I still didn't know. "What are we looking for?"

"A heartbeat, my love; we are looking for a heartbeat."

What an odd thing to look for. "But you don't have a heartbeat, Edward."

"That's why we have to find it my love; the faster we find it, the faster we can be together." He told me, smiling, my favourite crooked smile.

That part made sense. "What about mine?" I blurted out unthinkingly. "I have a heartbeat...it's the only one I have ever heard before; in this house, at least," I said.

Edward froze, his body whipped around so quickly, I had trouble following his movements, his hands turned into bone-coloured claws, his eyes changed from the golden butterscotch I had come to love, to onyx, to a vivid crimson. Edward's posture shifted into a crouch, his arms spread wide as if to capture me or hug me; a menacing hiss escaped his lips, sounding like an angry swarm of bees.

I stood frozen, totally, and utterly immobilized in fear. I didn't have a prayer of escaping Edward, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, a cold sweat broke across my forehead and the back of my neck, tears pooled in my eyes, and a whimper of fear caught in my throat.

"Don't be afraid, my love," Edward crooned in a sugary sweet voice, inching towards me cautiously. "You won't feel a thing... I swear."

"But...you said..." I cried helplessly. "You said you would bring me to you; I want to be with you...please Edward," I begged, desperate he would see reason.

I knew I didn't have a hope in the world, my heart was beating so hard against my ribs, I might as well have crawled onto a silver platter and given it Edward.

"And I will." He promised me, still inching towards me, I was about to reach out to him when a familiar voice called my name in the opposite direction.

"Bella!" The anxious voice called to me. "Bella... Bella... Bella...!"

I knew that voice. It was my father's voice trying to wake me from this horrid nightmare, I wasn't ready to leave yet. I had to shove the door closed to ensure I wouldn't wake up this time, sealing Edward and me inside. I watched with fascination as Edward's glowing crimson eyes shifted to black, then from black to gold. Shifting once again, Edward stood erect, his features and hands returning to normal.

I sighed quietly.

"Why did you do that, Bella?" Edward questioned, clearly confused.

"Because I have what you are searching for," I say without missing a beat. "I didn't realize it until now, after years and years of searching for what you've needed, what you've been craving mercilessly for a very long time."

"You do? What is it?" He asked hesitantly, his beautiful face twisted in deep thought.

"A heartbeat...my heartbeat," I whispered, smiling. "You have been searching in all the wrong places, all this time! You've been searching for something that doesn't exist on the outside, it ends now. I know what I have to do."

A silver dagger appears out of thin air in the palm of my hand before I even knew I had dreamed it up. Without thinking twice, I plunge the dagger straight into my heart, twisting it until my heartstrings snapped. Edward watched in horror as I ripped the dagger out of my chest, leaving a gaping hole. My heart didn't look normal, it was twisted, broken, bruised. Cracks started to form on the still-beating organ. Blood-more blood than any human could possibly have inside their body spilled, pooling at my feet and getting bigger by the second.

As twisted and broken as my heart was, it still continued to spill blood, thumping, shuddering and stuttering it's last few beats of life

"This is what you've been looking for," I panted, feeling dizzy and light-headed. "I am ready and willing to give it to you. My heart will always and forever be yours to have, Edward. The only question remaining is if you can accept my heart? Broken, bruised and bleeding, twisted in the most unnatural ways," My heart was beginning to break in my hands and the gaping hole in my chest aching in unbearable pain. "Choose Edward! Choose now before it's too late!"

"But you're human, you'll die without it!" His words were filled with anguish and pain.

I shook my head in protest. "I will only die without you," I tell him, I felt myself growing weak and heavy, my eyes unable to focus properly. "My heart has been mended a hundred thousand times already. I'll just piece it back together...or you could piece it back together for me. Now choose, Edward! I don't have much time left..."

"What if I don't want it?" He questioned me quietly.

The cracks in my heart were getting bigger; blood spilled faster now, the puddle at my feet had doubled in size. The ache in my chest flared to an impossible level of pain, and I could feel myself falling deeper into the black hole that threatened to suck me in and swallow me whole forever.

"If you don't want it...it will continue to break and bleed until it has no more life in it to give. The ache in my chest will continue to throb until I am so consumed with pain that I just give in."

"No," he whispers.

"No," I parrot breathless. I grip my heart with both hands and crush it; my heart turns into dust in my hands, when I open my fists, crimson dust clings to my skin.

Edward's door flies open, and a black swirling vortex meets us on the other side, everything that had ever held meaning to me was over. The contents of Edward's room were flying off every surface swirling in the middle of the room, before being sucked into the vortex of nothing.

Unable to keep my footing from the inevitable pull of the swirling vortex, I am pulled into the darkness, letting the nothing of the world around me swallow me whole.

"Bella..." A familiar voice calls out from someplace in the black void.

Leave me here, I beg the soothing voice. Leave me here to grieve in peace. I don't want to come back, not without Edward. I'm lost forever. There is nothing to put back together again.

"Love..." The familiar voice crooned, so softly, so silkily. The voice made my chest throb with an immeasurable amount of pain.

Why do you torture me so? Why can you not just let me die here?

"Come back to me, love, please..."

Why?

"Because I need you..."

Why?

"For the reason that I love you..."

You said, 'No.'

"Telling you 'no,' leaving you behind, shutting you out...are the two biggest mistakes I have made in my very long life."

Mistake?

"Yes, love...a mistake that I will forever regret, in ways you can ever imagine... Please come back to me, Bella."

It hurts... I hurt.

"Tell me how to take your pain away love, I will do anything, you ask of me."

Home...come home. It's all I have ever wanted. I can't be strong for daddy anymore... I tried so hard, for so long! So heavy...

I hear my father's sharp intake of breath someplace near me. "For me?"

Letting my memories wash over me, taking us back to the day I promised myself I would piece myself back together for my father. I can't pinpoint the exact day it was, but with perfect recollection, I remember the look on my father's face the day Edward had left and the promise I had made to myself to anything and everything to rid the look of pain in my father's eyes and wipe the sadness off his face.

Everything I had done after that was because of my father. To make him happy again. Asides from Edward, my father is my best friend, he knew all my deepest and darkest secrets, he knew how I struggled more days than other's, how I pieced myself back together each time my heart had shattered into millions of pieces.

Always for daddy...always to take his pain away...

"Why, princess?"

It hurt to see you in so much pain...so much pain...so much hurt...

"It all makes sense now," I heard Trevor say from behind me. "The pain, the torment, the fights, the empty threats...everything you've done to get Edward home, it wasn't all just for you! You took on everyone's pain and suffering and harbored within yourself, hid it under lock and key...all this time."

Finally...

"You have a gift...the gift to heal others!" Trevor choked out. "You suffer, so no one else has to...how are you, even still alive? Taking on the dark and twisted, not to mention crushing sadness from a being superior to you?

It's natural to me...instinctual...

"You...are...not...fully...human?"

No...

A/n: So, I have had this entry for a long time, unable to decide which way I wanted this story to go. I have been rereading this story, and for the most part, I like it the way it is. I know this entry is not the way I want to lead the story, but I can't bear to part with it. It would be a tragedy for something I worked so hard for to go unread and unappreciated. My only hope is that you love this entry just as much as I do.