I yelled in fury and punched my fist into the wall, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. I punched the wall again, the bones in my fingers cracking against the stone as I tainted it with my blood. I scratched ferociously at my left sleeve, trying to scratch the Dark Mark away. Trying to remove the Dark Lord's mark as it burned through the skin of my arm. I had started the task in September, when the term first stared. Autumn had flown in during October, and I still hadn't fixed the cabinet. October tumbled through the Halloween festivities, and it was the beginning of November. I was still struggling with the fucking cabinet, and Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled on me more than usual. Granger flashed through my head, and I closed my eyes briefly, punching the wall again and wincing as my hand throbbed in agony. There was no way that Granger could've told Dumbledore that I was a Death Eater out to kill him. She didn't even know herself. I briefly wondered if Potter knew; he stalked me on a regular basis this year, and I knew he was suspicious of me for some reason. Still, Potter couldn't even suspect that I was Death Eater. I've given him no reason to. This may be revenge for me breaking his nose on the train the first day we came back to Hogwarts. He must be planning an attack on me.

I smirked weakly, falling ungracefully to my knees and slamming my palms on the wall. Stupid Potter. Lucky Potter. He had everything that I wanted: fame and Granger.

"Draco?"

I squeezed my eyes tighter as I heard her gasp in shock. Her footsteps echoed louder as they ran to me, and she was on her knees with me. Her soft hands held my jaw, and she turned my face to hers. I knew because her sweet, vanilla breath relaxed me as she whispered my name again. My eyes fluttered open to be met with her honey ones, the big orbs wide with worry.

"Draco, what's happened to you?" she asked in alarm, glancing at my fist and the bloody wall. Her thumbs wiped over my cheeks, and I sighed again when I realized I was still crying. The tears were of no concern to Granger, though. She continued to stare at me with her doe eyes, her plump lips parted to accommodate her ragged breathing. I blinked at her, and she continued to stroke my cheeks with tenderness. I let out a low groan, and it came out like a strangled cry of pain.

"Draco," she pleaded lowly, "please tell me what's going on. Is it that curse that your aunt put on your arm? I can look for a counter-curse if you'd like. Draco, I don't like seeing you like this."

I smiled ruefully at the girl, and her lips formed a surprised 'o'. Yes, it was the curse on my left arm. Every night, ever since Granger and I started this wild affair, I had my left arm bandaged from the shoulder to the wrist. She had asked me why, and I had told her that Bellatrix put a curse on my arm as punishment for picking roses with this arm. Granger had been confused, but she knew how psychotic and unreasonable Bella was. She took my excuse and never touched that arm when we had sex. That lie was only halfway true. Yes, I had a curse on this arm, but it was from the Dark Lord, and it would haunt me for the rest of my life. My life probably wouldn't continue, I thought with a humorless chuckle. If I wasn't killed in the upcoming war, I'd be sentenced to Azkaban for what I did to Hogwarts and Dumbledore. Or Potter and his gang would kill me after I let the Death Eaters into the castle.

Actually, I'd be killed by the Dark Lord himself. I was never going to get the Death Eaters in here. This task was too hard, it was impossible. Then, killing Dumbledore was impossible as well. There was no way that I could do that. I bit my lip as a sob tried to run free from my sore throat, and Granger's hands suddenly tugged my face into her neck. I breathed her fresh, library scent in, crying helplessly into her neck as I clutched her to my body. She hugged me tighter, and I felt wetness from her tears stick to my neck. This was new for both of us. We never hugged each other, not even before or after sex. I had never gotten a hug from anyone but my mother, and I was thankful to Granger for reminding me of my mother. My mother was the only one who showed me affection, and she was the only one I wanted affection from. Granger was here, though, to provide me with care and affection when my mother couldn't. I sobbed even harder at the memory of my mother, probably the last memory since I wouldn't be able to save her. Granger just clutched me tighter, playing with the baby hairs at the back of my head, saying nothing as I let failure and guilt wash over me in waves.

"DRACO!"

She screamed loudly, yelling my name in a continuous plea. Our bodies molded together perfectly, and I couldn't help but to lean down and kiss her passionately. My heart pounded against my chest, trying to escape to go live with Granger forever. It was hers, it would always be hers. I leaned up to gaze longingly at her expression, her face flushed pink and her lips swollen. Her wild hair fanned around her, and her eyes were shut tight as she flew over the edge.

This was the most beautiful woman in this entire universe.

I roared loudly as her nails raked down my back painfully, and I stilled as the world shattered around me. This was what I needed, this was why I was obsessed with Hermione Granger. She had the ability to make the worst day of my life suddenly turn into a beautiful day. She made me feel like I was worth something, even if it my worth was a tiny grain of sand. It was valued. It was purposeful. It was hers. Everything about me was suddenly becoming hers, I was hers. I belonged to her in the same way that she belonged to me.

In this moment, I knew, I fucking knew that I wouldn't survive without her. I was going to have to lock her up somewhere and keep her with me forever.

My breathing began to slow as the stars faded from my vision, and I blinked down to praise Granger's satiated face. Her lips were spread in a satisfied grin, and her eyes glittered like golden stars. My lips twitched, but I muttered, "Never hug me again, Granger." Because clearly when you hug me, I go fucking mad.

She huffed and pouted, removing her arms from around me and rolling from under me. "I thought we don't talk after sex, Draco."

I shrugged and ran a hand through my blonde locks. "We didn't get a chance to talk before sex, Hermione."

She glared at me at the use of her given name, and I grinned innocently at her. I knew how aroused she got when I said her name, and the feeling was mutual. It was forbidden territory for me, saying a Gryffindor's first name, but her name rolled like sweet honey from my tongue.

"You never gave us a chance to talk. You dragged me into the room and pounced on me before I got a chance to let you go."

I shrugged again. "Seems like the rules have changed."

She wrapped the gold blanket around her, and I inhaled deeply. She looked like a queen, drenched in rich silk and smiling at me as if she had all the power in the world. She looked around the room, and I did the same with nervousness tingling in my stomach. It was full of hidden and lost things, and right in front of us, was the damn cabinet.

"I wonder who lost this?" she asked in wonder, pressing her palm to the wood, and I fought the urge to pull her hand away and slap her. This picture wasn't right. She shouldn't be touching that monster. She was too innocent to be next to that cabinet, the cabinet that I needed for my evil plans.

"Who cares, Granger."

"I care, Malfoy. It's beautiful."

"It's a fucking cabinet."

She glared at me and huffed irritably. "It's a fucking beautiful cabinet." She blushed as the curse word fell from her lips, then glared at me harder as if that was my fault. I shrugged in response. It was my fault. I brought out the monster in the mudblood.

She turned to me suddenly, curiosity swirling in her eyes. "Can I see your arm?"

I showed her my right arm, and she giggled in response. "No, Draco. Your cursed arm, please."

I exhaled in annoyance and began to dress. "It's so hideous, Granger. I don't want you to see that." And that was true, but I couldn't bear for her to run away from me yet. As soon as she saw it, she'd go running to Potter and Dumbledore, and my mother would be gone before I got to see her for the holidays.

"It can't be that bad."

"It is, Granger. Just leave it."

"Is there a counter-curse? Is there a potion that would help? Maybe Dumbledore-"

I whirled on her and backed her up into the cabinet in a matter of seconds. She gaped at me in surprise, and I grabbed her hair and pulled hard, making her gasp and look up at me. Shock swirled in her eyes, and my eyes darkened at the girl. "Do. Not. Tell. Anyone." I seethed, my face inching closer with each word until her nose was pressed to mine. "Do you understand me, Granger? This is something that I'm going to live with for the rest of my life. No one can help me." My eyes softened, and my grip on her head loosened. I swallowed down the bile that rose in my throat. "No one can help me."

Her fingers ran lightly over the column of my throat, and I visibly relaxed at the touch. Just one simple touch from Hermione Granger, and I could come undone.

"I'm sorry, Draco," she apologized lowly, peering up at me from beneath her dark lashes. I swallowed audibly, nodding at her and backing away from her. I could sense her confusion as it surrounded us, suffocating me until I grabbed at my chest. I wasn't going to fuck her again near this cabinet. I didn't like her pressed up against it like I just had her. She was too good for that cabinet. I was using it for evil intentions. If, by a miracle, I succeeded in fixing that cabinet, those Death Eaters were going to rampage through Hogwarts, killing everyone in their path. A painful groan escaped me as images of Granger fell in my mind, her body sprawled out on the floor in a pool of her own blood, her bloody fingers clutching at me to save her as I pushed her away, her tears mixing with her blood as she cried for me to come back.

"Drac-"

"Get the fuck out of here, Granger!"

Why did I think she would listen?

She crossed her arms and huffed, scouring at me. "How dare you talk to me like that!" she screeched, and she hastily pulled the blanket tighter around her. "I'm concerned about you and this is how you talk to me?"

"Why?" I yelled frantically, throwing my hands into the air. "Why the fuck are you concerned about me Granger?" I spun to face her and laughed menacingly in her face. "I'm never concerned about you. All I need you for is sex, so don't try to ruin that for me."

She blinked once, twice, three times and dropped the blanket. My brow furrowed in confusion, and she quickly stalked past me. With lightening quick speed, she put on her clothes. I gazed in amazement, watching as her clothes fell perfectly onto her body, with no wrinkles or creases.

Perfection.

She straightened her thick sweater and grabbed her bag. Without one word, one look, not even a fucking breath, she marched out of the room like an Auror on a mission and left me to stand in the deafening silence.

I stared at the cabinet hatefully, grabbing fistfuls of my hair and pulling hard until my eyes burned with pain.

Who the hell did I think I was, bringing Granger into the mess that was my life? I was intrigued by her, by the power she had over my reality. She was my fantasy life, where I didn't have to do a task for the most horrible wizard of all time. Granger gave me a way to not think about my real life, but suddenly, my fantasy and reality were starting to crash into one another. She had seen me at my most vulnerable moment, and I hadn't been bothered by being comforted by her. We hugged, and then we talked after sex. We had broken two rules in one night, and I hadn't cared at all. I liked talking to the girl. I liked feeling her arms encircle me as she nuzzled her face in my chest. She was a craving, that piece of chocolate cake that I knew I shouldn't have. But I took that shit anyway, and now, I was feeling the consequences of my decision. I should've said no that very first night two months ago. I should've pushed her off of me and called her a dirty mudblood. I should've walked away.

But I didn't, and now I was stuck crying in the Room of Requirement, because sex with Granger wasn't working as my distraction anymore. Sex wasn't enough anymore. The harder these tasks got, the more I sought an escape. The more I struggled, the more I wanted Granger to take away the pain, the guilt, the fear. I needed her or else I would kill myself. If I didn't have Granger to distract me from the horrors of my life, I'd probably be dead of my own hand by now. So, the harder my life got, the more I needed Granger as a distraction. I didn't like just fucking her and leaving. When I left, my mind was plagued with images of her or my mother dead. When I wasn't with of Granger, I was thinking of the Dark Lord's snake eyes and cruel laugh. I was thinking of my own death and how I wanted to die right now so badly.

I needed Granger to stay sane. I couldn't think of all of those terrible things with her. When we were together, the only thing that ran through my mind was her pleasure. I thought about her laugh, her eyes, her intelligence. She never gave me a chance to think about the bad things, and I needed her for that. I was grateful to her for that.

And all of a sudden, I use a bird in the cabinet, and it comes back dead. Then, I'm screaming and crying, breaking my hand into the wall, and Granger comes with her care and comfort. I drag her into the room that was already made by me, and we end up sexing in front of that damn cabinet. The reality of having Granger near the cabinet, and her uncomfortable questions about my arm covered me like a bucket of ice water. I couldn't see her with this cabinet again. This cabinet was evil, and she had no right to think of it as fucking beautiful. It was horrible, and it was standing in between my mother's life and her death. This was a lose/lose situation: if I fixed it, I would be the cause of the many casualties of Hogwarts, but if I didn't fix it, my mother would die.

My head fell into my hands, and I sobbed angrily into my palms. I needed Granger in this moment. I needed her to talk to me, to laugh at me, to yell at me. I needed her to block these thoughts, but I knew it could never be like that between us. I couldn't go to her now and hang out with her like a friend.

But I fucking craved her company. And I fucking hated that I couldn't have it.

I roared loudly and pointed my wand to the nearest clutter of objects, bursting it into flames. I needed a release for all of this anger, and that was Granger. I couldn't have her all to myself like I wanted. No matter how much I fantasized, I couldn't have her with me for the rest of my life, and I hated myself for it.

But I hated her even more because she wouldn't like that. She came to me for sex, for an escape from her boring life as a goody two-shoes. I wasn't stupid, though. I knew she wanted me all the time, but she was the sensible one. What would her friends think? What would her parents say? What would everyone think if she was around Draco Fucking Malfoy all the fucking time?

I burst another clutter into flames, breathing heavily as I went around the room destroying the hidden things. I needed more from Granger than sex. I needed her, but I would never be able to have her. Not now, not ten years from now, not ever. I had physically branded myself as her enemy, as someone who wanted to get rid of her kind. It scared me, how much I needed the Gryffindor Princess to keep me from my reality. I let out a low breath, staring at the ash and smoke as it swirled around me. This was what my world had turned into, a world full of dirt and destruction. I walked back to the cabinet and slumped against it, closing my eyes and falling into a fitful sleep, images of Granger's smiling face haunting me even in my nightmares.