Draco has been insatiable this past week.

I watch in dazed wonder as Ron blocked the quaffle again, earning another loud roar from the Gryffindor benches. I clapped along with them, but my mind was far away, thinking of Draco's actions this week. He had pounced on me Monday as I left the library. He locked me in the Prefect's bathroom on Tuesday. He cornered me into a broom closet during patrols on Wednesday. Thursday was one normal day for us, when we actually used the Room of Requirement. Friday, he had sex with me in an abandoned classroom, and I still blushed from leaving my claw marks scratched onto the table. I frowned, confused and amazed at Draco's passion. We had a routine where we met at ten every night in front of the Room of Requirement. Now, ever since that day I found him crying outside the room, he's been following me and making love to me all over the place. He hasn't even insulted me as we pass each other in the hallways. My brow furrowed as I realized that he hadn't insulted Harry or Ron either. Even Ron was dumbfounded that Draco didn't sneer at him and call him names when Ron accidently stepped on his foot in the hall. Draco just stared at us, (his stare lingering on me for a longer time) and stalked off.

Then, I noticed that he was skipping meals. Many meals, actually. He rarely appeared for breakfast, lunch or dinner, and when he did, he barely ate. His cheeks were sunken in, and his skin had lost its moonlight glow. He always looked tired and exhausted when we met up, but he was full of stamina when we had sex. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, if it was the curse Bellatrix Lestrange put on him, but he'd leave me every night before I even got a chance to come down from my blissful high.

"There goes Ron Weasley again!" Luna Lovegood shouted in her dazed voice. "Looks like the Wrackspurts are leaving him alone this evening so he could focus!" She was ignored as Ron saved the Gryffindor goal again, and a loud cheer resounded through the pitch. I didn't join in as everyone chanted Ron's last name repeatedly. My mind was filled with Draco Malfoy. I remember the night that Draco had forgotten about our 'date'. He had told me that I was his escape, and that he could never tire of me. I was busy wondering what he was escaping from, and why he needed me for that. Well, I knew why. I blushed and smiled at Ron accidently, and he blew me a lopsided grin.

Draco used sex as an escape mechanism, as a reason to leave reality for a while. My only question was: what was so horrible in his reality? There was the one possibility, that his father's sentence to Azkaban haunted him. So maybe, he needed me as a way to distract himself from thinking of his father. Whatever the reason was, I was glad for it. If I hadn't started this thing with Draco, I'd probably be finishing homework in a month's advance, because that was expected of me.

This affair with Draco was beginning to take an emotional toll on me, though. How long was this going to last before we were forced to end it? How hard was it going to be for me? For him? I chewed my lip as Ron blocked another quaffle. I no longer feared that Draco would get bored of me. If anything, he's gotten more addicted. But, we both knew that we couldn't let this go on. I knew there was a war coming, and when it finally reached me, I had to stop this thing with Draco. I was Harry Potter's best friend and loyal companion. I had no right being with Draco Malfoy, his sworn enemy. I was being a traitor, stabbing both of my best friends in the back. The guilt ate at me every day, and I was always tempted to tell Draco that I couldn't see him again.

But how boring would my life be without him? I'd be getting picked on by all of the Gryffindors, especially Harry and Ron, and I'd have no outlet for that frustration. I'd have to go to my room, cry for a bit, then read a book. I've discovered something new with Draco. I use sex as an escape from my normal life, from being best friends with average-minded boys, from living in the library. The librarian and I knew each other personally, for Merlin's sake! I was thankful for Draco, grateful even. I frowned as I realized that Draco saved me from being ordinary. He's made me really appreciate myself, my body, my beauty. I had never thought I was beautiful. No one ever told me but my parents and Ginny. I glowered up at Ron as he raised his fists in the air triumphantly. Even Draco knew how beautiful I was, when Ronald Weasley just wanted me for my brains. Everyone just wanted me for my brains, but not Draco. He could care less about how smart I was.

As much as it hurts to say it, but Draco Malfoy is the only boy to make me feel beautiful.

He also makes me feel so full of life, full of adventure. I shook my head in disbelief. I don't know what it is about Draco. He just makes me feel alive. He makes me feel like I'm more than a homework helper. I was addicted to the feeling, obsessed with feeling high all the time. I had never felt like that before Draco. I had felt so ordinary, so plain. Now, when I look in the mirror, my eyes are brighter, and I'm always grinning like a giddy schoolgirl.

I huffed and pouted as Ginny linked arms with me, guiding me from the benches to go celebrate the Gryffindor win against the Slytherins. I was sick to my stomach with thoughts that had been plaguing me since I hugged him. I was beginning to fancy Draco Sodding Malfoy. I bit my lip as I nodded at whatever Ginny said. I wanted the feeling to pass soon. I couldn't like Draco. The only reason I liked him now was because he made me feel alive and special. In rare moments, he'd show me affection by giving me sweet kisses or flashing me a genuine smile. In the times when we'd talk, he'd laugh with me, and I saw how silly Draco could be. Why did we even talk before sex? At first we didn't, but then we'd start talking about the different rooms we conjured up. Then, we'd speak about classes, and then we'd talk about food. I knew his favorite color was blue because it reminded him of his mother's eyes. He loved his mother very much, but I could see that in the way his eyes lit up whenever she sent him a package. His best friend and only trusted friend was Blaise Zabini, whom he's known since birth. He knew that I loved the color yellow, because it reminded me of the sunlight. He knew that I helped anyone in need, and he hated my best friends. I never knew how we'd even get on those topics of our lives. We'd just walk into the room, talk about the room, sit on the bed, and just talk. It was weird when I thought about it, but in the moment, it was so natural.

I shook my head and smiled reassuringly at Ginny as she wondered if I was alright. "I'm fine, Gin. Have you decided if Harry likes you or not?"

She rolled her eyes and flashed me a gorgeous smile. How could he not like her? Ginny Weasley was incredibly beautiful. Good thing Draco didn't think so. "Oh, Hermione," she huffed dramatically, "he sends me all of these signals, but he still hasn't asked me out. I mean, I understand that it's because I'm Ron's sister, but I can take care of myself! Ron should have no say in who I date."

I laughed. "He shouldn't, but it's Ron. We both know he'll make sure he has a say."

She laughed with me. "It's not like I'd listen. Anyway, what's going on with you? You seem so distracted these days."

I shook my head, biting my lip to keep from smiling. Honestly, this was ridiculous. I was like some love-struck teenager. My eyes widened at the though. Was I love-struck? I shook my head again, and Ginny's brow furrowed but she kept quiet. I was deeply infatuated with the boy. That was it. His light gray eyes flashed in my mind, and I covered my mouth with my hand. Oh Merlin, help me.

Time stood still as Lavender Brown's lips remained on Ron's. I was aware of Harry staring at me with wide eyes, but my eyes were glued to the scene in front of me. Ginny turned and mouthed an apology, but there was nothing to apologize for. Ron held Lavender as they continued to snog, and I hastily made my exit from the common room. I walked aimlessly around the castle, until I found an abandoned classroom and strolled in. I sat on the desk, my eyes unblinking as I produced some small birds with my wands. I watched as they fluttered around freely, oblivious to the trauma going on the real world.

I wasn't upset that Ron and Lavender were together. In all honesty, I could care less. There was a time when I wanted Ron to myself, when I wanted to be the one to kiss him after Quidditch games, but that ended when I had started to spend time with Draco. I was disappointed in myself for feeling like I was let down by Ron. Ginny and Harry knew how much I liked him- or had liked him. I wanted to marry Ronald Weasley one day and have his children. I wanted Ron to be my happily ever after. Then, I started this affair with Draco, and I forgot all about my feelings for Ron. I no longer loved him in the romantic sense. Honestly, I'm not sure if I ever truly loved him that way. I was infatuated with him, just as I am with Draco. With Ron, though, I knew I could have a future with him. Our relationship wouldn't have been just for fun. We were allowed to be together; society would accept us. Now, he ruined that chance by kissing Lavender Brown. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Ron was supposed to be my escape when Draco and I could no longer see each other. Ron was the backup plan, the reality of my boring life. It was going to be Ron and Hermione since Draco and Hermione were a fantasy. I felt disappointed in myself for wanting to use Ron like that. He was my best friend, and I was willing to settle for him.

But I'd rather settle with Ron than have a real relationship with Draco. The scrutiny and shame would be too much to bear for me. Then, Draco's parents would probably hunt me down and murder me, especially when Voldemort's at large right now. We wouldn't last past school. Draco and I were just a dream, a wonderful dream that I relived every night.

"Granger, I don't think hiding in dusty classrooms is healthy."

I blinked away from the flying birds to Draco standing in the doorway, his lean body covered in only a black, button down shirt and black trousers. I diminished the birds and slowly slid from the desk. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I was leaving the Room of Requirement when I saw you."

My eyes widened in alarm, and I checked my watch. I looked back at him in confusion. "It's only 9. What were you doing in the Room of Requirement?"

"Why are you in here all by yourself, Granger?" he change the topic to me as he stalked towards me, my breath accelerating as he stood in front of me with that sexy ass smirk on his face. This is why I liked Draco. This is what I craved. This feeling of excitement, danger, life. I had never had it before. I had it now, and with Draco Malfoy of all people.

"Getting away from the festivities. Gryffindor won."

He nodded. "Blaise told me. Gryffindors getting boring for you?" He rose an eyebrow at me, and I smiled at him. He looked confused for a second before smiling back at me and tucking some messy curls behind my ear. I also craved this, this feeling of adoration. I had never been adored by a boy before. I was now, by Draco.

"They're a little boring."

"The Weasley?" My eyes darted to the wall, and his fingers grasped my chin to tilt my head so I could look at him. "What happened?"

"He and Lavender kissed."

Draco's eyes hardened. "You'd rather it be you he's kissing?"

"Oh, no, Draco. Er, not anymore."

"Anymore?"

I sighed and stared at Draco, his gray eyes dark with curiosity. "Draco, Ron was my backup plan."

"Backup plan?"

"You and I can't be together, Draco."

His eyebrows rose to his hairline, and he released my chin. He cleared his throat and looked down at his polished shoes. "I know that, Granger." His eyes darted back to mine, and he frowned. "You didn't seriously think that Weasley could take my place."

I bit my lip and shrugged. "I don't want him to take your place. I just knew that if I was going to marry someone, it was going to be Ron."

Draco scoffed and grabbed my waist, pulling me towards him slowly. "Rather you be with Potter than that red-headed ass."

I smacked him on the shoulder, and he smirked at me. "Mr. Potter is off the market."

Draco shrugged, and I knew the conversation was over. He rested his chin lightly on the top of my head, and I heard him breath slowly. I tentatively slid my hands up his torso, to his chest, and rested them on either side of his neck. He stifled a moan and nuzzled his face into my neck.

"Draco," I asked in a whisper, "what are we?"

"Wizards."

I rolled my eyes and pulled away from him to look at him clearly. "That's not what I mean. I meant what kind of relationship do you and I have?"

His brow furrowed, and he looked lost for a moment. "We don't have one, Granger. We can't have one."

I nodded in understanding, although disappointment swirled in my chest. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened again, then closed it. I tilted my head to the side, staring at him inquisitively.

"There's nothing I can do for you," he muttered, his hands falling to his side as he stared at me sheepishly. "There's nothing I can give you. There's nothing we can have, Hermione."

I nodded but stayed silent. I shuffled on my feet and looked to the ceiling, afraid that if I looked at him, I'd burst into tears. I rolled my eyes at myself for the thought. I've never been prone to just burst into tears, especially not over a boy. Yet, here Draco is, telling me that we can't be together, and I'm ready to cry a river. His scent was intoxicating me as I stood there, and I rubbed my chest as my breath seemed to leave me. He was surrounding me, suffocating me, all around me. My head swirled as I realized the many lies I continued to tell myself about my feelings for Draco. It was evident, especially from this moment here. This feeling of disappointment, of sadness, of intense pain made me realize that I do, in fact, fancy Draco sodding Malfoy.

And I could do nothing about it.

That feeling of being helpless was eating me alive. I could do nothing about my attraction towards Draco. I couldn't pursue anything with him. I couldn't be with him. The realization of my reality washed over me like a cold waterfall, and I shuddered. For the first time, I actually have true feelings for someone, and I can't even be with him. Man, was my life fuc-, I mean messed up.

I yelped as I felt a pinch on my butt, and I squirmed, coming out of my thoughts. "I don't like when you're sad Granger," Draco said softly. "It's one of the reasons you come to me. When Potter or Weasley say something that offends you, I'm there to give you an escape from the sadness. So, I don't want to be like Potter and Weasley and make you sad."

I frowned but shook my head. "You didn't make me sad, per say. I'm just thinking."

He scoffed but said nothing. He pulled me to him once again and leaned his chin on the top of my head. His fingers danced on my collarbone, and I shivered from his light caresses. His fingers trailed over my shoulder, and he traced my exposed bra strap. Suddenly, he grabbed my shirt and pulled towards him, and peered down my shirt, as if he was surveying me. I slapped his hands away and fixed myself with a frown. "Don't do that, weirdo. What's wrong with you?"

"There was a Quidditch match today," he stated simply.

I nodded. "Yeah, I was there Malfoy."

"You always wear some type of red underwear. A red bra and red panties. To every Quidditch match."

Oh.

His lips curled into a seductive smirk. "Green bra today, huh Granger?" he noticed in appreciation.

I blushed a scarlet red color, my body heating up as Draco stared down at me like a hungry snake. "I thought you'd be playing today."

His eyes widened, and I watched as they softened on me. He leaned down and gave me a swift kiss. "You wore it for me?"

"Yes. I wanted you to know that I thought about you."

"How many times a day do you think about me, Granger?"

I blushed deeper, and my lips parted as he stared at me with shining gray eyes, his orbs twinkling like the stars that made up his constellation.

"I think about you all the time, Draco Malfoy. You've possessed me."

A small, shy smile graced his lips, and I melted at the sight. "Hermione Granger." My breath hitched at the sound of my first name, and I giggled in delight as he trailed his nose over mine. "What have you done to me?"

I ran my fingers through his hair as he pecked me softly on the lips. "I don't know, but I hope I keep doing what I am to you." His eyes questioned me softly. "I mean," I breathed out, "you've been after me all week. I like it."

He hummed left a trail of sweet kisses across my face. "Why do you like it, Hermione?"

My heart quivered. I automatically tilted my neck up he trailed his nose across my body, nuzzling his face into my neck, and I could sense his smile on my skin. "It makes me feel wanted."

"Wanted?"

He trailed his nose up my throat and pressed hot kisses to my neck. I groaned as he bit down and sucked on my sweet spot, and my legs began to shudder in sweet agony. "I've never felt like this before, Draco," I managed to get out, groaning his name loudly as he sucked my earlobe softly into his mouth. "I've never felt alive before you. My life was so ordinary, so black and white before you came in and colored it for me. You've shown me how exciting I could be, and you're the only boy to call me beautiful. I like it, Draco."

He lifted his face and gazed down at me with those twinkling, clear eyes. His smile spread into a joyous smile, and I repeated the grin on my own face. As I looked up at this beautiful model of Apollo, I accepted the fact that, even if I couldn't have him forever, I was going to enjoy the time I had left. He brought out life in me. He made me forget the books, the library, the schoolwork, Voldemort. I was able to be a more exciting Hermione Granger, a more alive version. I didn't walk around like a lifeless book of information with Draco; I could be an actual, teenage girl who was infatuated with her teenage lover. I liked that I could feel so good, and he made me feel so confident in myself. I always knew I was Hermione, the old maid, but Draco showed me that I was the complete opposite of that. He showed me that I was beautiful, and now, whenever I looked in the mirror, I felt beautiful. To me, that's the greatest thing a man can give a woman: her self-confidence.

And he made me feel so special. He admired my intelligence and was amazed by how confident I was in my studies. He was the only person who could match my wit and who could push me to work harder, even if he didn't do it intentionally. He was the only one who could create a raging fire in me. Draco Malfoy was a challenge to me, always had been since first year. He was my match, and I don't think I would want it any other way.

"Hermione," he groaned in bliss but said nothing. I didn't mind. Being held in his arms as he caressed my back and left lasting kisses all over me was all I needed in this moment. Not sex, not an argument, not laughter. This moment of genuine bliss was all I wanted. If this was the only way I could have Draco, if this was the only way we could be together, than I as going to cherish it.

"You make feel so good," he quietly muttered into my hair. My hands flinched in his hair, but I stood as still as a rock. If it hadn't been so quiet in the room, I wouldn't have heard him. I held my breath as he sighed, and I closed my eyes to listen to his vulnerability, something that he decided to show to me and only me.

"You bring a light into my world when it's full of darkness." I internally whimpered at his confession, and I pressed my face into his neck. "I'm freaking out about so many things right now. The main thing is my mother. I have no idea if she's safe, or if she's going to take her life now that Father is stuck in Azkaban. I'm not there to protect her, Hermione. I need to protect my mother. She's my life, my happiness. I hate thinking about it."

My fingers ran through his hair, and I massaged his scalp to calm him. He closed his eyes briefly, his hands on my waist tightening. "Hermione," he continued, his voice a husky whisper, "you've been able to distract me from the horrors of my life. You give me a reason to escape my terrible life for a while, to actually enjoying living. If I didn't have you to calm me down, to keep me sane, I'd probably kill myself."

I bit my lip to silent my sobs, but the tears fell from eyes in little raindrops. He pulled away from me ang gazed down at me with cloudy eyes. He kissed the tip of my nose and wiped the tears away, and I sobbed loudly as both of his hands gripped my face, angling it to give me a deep kiss.

"Draco," I muttered against his lips. I held on to his hair for dear life as he deepened the kiss, his thumbs rubbing small circles on cheeks. I was sobbing silently against his face, sobbing for my pained lover.

"You're like a calming elixir for me," he breathed out. I inhaled deeply as the smell of his minty breath washed over me like a calming breeze. "You're my breath of relief after a long and hard day of work. Merlin, Granger, I crave that feeling. I need to be distracted, to be put out of my reality for a while. I need it more every day. I need it all the fucking time, Hermione. You have no idea how much I'm obsessed with escaping my reality, how much I wish I could leave it all the time. You're my outlet, my escape, my fantasy. I need you, Hermione. I need you so fucking bad."

I quivered and shook violently, clutching him to me as I openly cried against his shoulder. He held me tight, his body shaking as if he was crying, too. This was the second time Draco had been vulnerable with me. Was this going to be a constant thing? If so, I didn't mind. If Draco needed me to be his escape, then that's what I'll be. I'll be his escape until the day I die.

We stood like that for what felt like hours, just crying and comforting each other. After a while, he pulled away and sniffled, peering at me through hooded eyes. My hands wiped away the traces of tears, and he let out a relaxing breath.

"Something's changed," he muttered.

I nodded and looked back at him. "A good change."

His lips twitched. "Yes. I think it's a good change."

"Draco, you do know I'm not available to you all the time, right?"

He sighed deeply and slowly stepped away from me, my body freezing as his body heat left. "I'm aware of that, Granger."

I frowned at his use of my last name. "I'm sorry, Draco. I want to be, but I just can't."

"No, Granger. Don't be sorry, please." He leaned down and kissed me softly, his teeth nibbling on my bottom lip. "It would never work anyway."

"What would?"

His lips pecked mine once more before he backed away from me again. "Me and you."

I nodded in agreement, although disappointment unfurled in my chest once again. Not this again. "I wish we could. I want to feel like this all the time."

He smiled softly. "And I want people to know that it's me that makes you feel like that."

I smiled walked towards him until I was close enough to touch him. I ran my fingers gently down his left arm, and he tensed as if he was I pain. I hastily removed my fingers. "I'm sorry," I said. "It just depresses me. I wish I could help you."

He titled my face up towards his with his fingers, and his lips softly brushed over mine. His amazing aroma wafted around me, and I sighed deeply into his mouth as he clutched me tightly to his body. He let go of my lips and stared down at me with admiration in his eyes. "You are helping me, Granger. Just keep being there for me when I need you. Just keep me sane, Granger."

I smiled slowly and traced his jaw with my fingertips. "I think I can do that, Mr. Malfoy."