Obsessed

by slytherinprincess19

Obsessed: to be preoccupied or to fill the mind of someone continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent Example: Draco was so obsessed with Hermione that he would do whatever it took to claim her as his forever.

9. 9

I scowled at the cabinet again, kicking it angrily as I threw the green apple into the air and caught it again with the same hand. Who the hell told her that it would be a good idea to go to the Christmas party with that tosser, Cormac McLaggen? He was a fucking leech, always clinging to my Granger like he was her boyfriend. Dumb fucker, I was her boyfriend. I frowned, realizing that Granger and I had never actually talked about our relationship. I shook my head and kept fantasizing about drowning McLaggen. Granger and I didn't need to talk about our relationship. We didn't need the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. We knew we were more than friends. We knew we were more than fuck buddies. We knew what it was between us and that we didn't need to label our relationship with societal terms. We were Draco and Hermione, Malfoy and Granger. We were each other's dirty little secret. As long as we were together, that was enough. We had our own relationship, one that worked for us, and that was enough.

I growled and pinched the bridge of my nose. There was no time to think about Granger and that skinny arse called McLaggen. I had been working on this cabinet for three months, and I knew the Dark Lord would want progress on my tasks when I went back home for the holidays. I couldn't tell him about the necklace; he'd laugh at me for that childish idea. He might even torture me for doing something as small and petty as that. I should've known the Bell girl was going to touch it. I ran a hand through my hair, sighing angrily.

I set the apple inside of the Vanishing Cabinet, reciting the spell three times before I heard the air whistle. I opened the cabinet door eagerly, and I nodded in approval at seeing the empty space inside. I breathed calmly and slowly, images of Granger's honey eyes and loving smiles relaxing me, and I chanted the spell twice. I waited silently, my eyes shut tightly, my breathing becoming ragged until I heard a sudden whip in the air. My eye snapped open, my wand clattering to the ground as I slowly approached the cabinet. My heart beat loudly in my throat, my eyes burning with anticipation as I set my fingers onto the cool, golden knob. I wrapped my hand around it, and, panting loudly, I jerked the door open. My eyes widened to the size of the moon as I stared astonishingly at the green apple, just sitting there as if it had never moved. I quickly grabbed it and jerked it out of the cabinet, my eyes squinting as I inspected it for change. I turned it around and around many times, the angry fire inside of my soul burning hotter and hotter as I inspected the apple. It was a rotten green color, and it gave off a dirty odor as if it had gone bad months ago. The apple was destroyed, brown patches all over it. My eyes darkened, and rage boiled inside of me. I roared in frustration and threw the apple away from me, watching as it crashed into a tower of hidden crap, and the tower toppled over and fell to the floor loudly. I sank to my knees and clutched my head in my hands, rocking back and forth as the tears fell in waves down my cheeks. How the fuck am I supposed to know what happened to the apple? Where did that little shit even go? Why the fuck was everything that I put into the cabinet coming back dead? I cried angrily, sobbing loudly as flashes of my mother's smiles ran through my head. I sobbed harder, clutching my stomach tightly as it rolled and churned nauseatingly. I was never going to see my mother's smiles again. I was never going to feel her loving hugs are calming kisses. I roared loudly, my voice hoarse from the sobbing. My brain had shut off, and my heart had stopped pounded. Defeat and shame washed over me, and I was sinking into a deep, dark abyss of guilt and failure. Before I knew it, my hand was twirling my wand in my hands, and I was marching out of the Room of Requirement in a daze. My eyes were blurred from the tears that were falling from my eyes at a fast rate. I faintly heard Blaise's concerned voice, but I kept walking down the hallway. It was a Saturday afternoon, so students were either at Hogsmeade or hanging out in their dorms. I was lucky as I paced to the Prefect's bathroom on the second floor. I didn't encounter any one, but even if I had, I would still keep walking. I felt fingers try to grasp onto my black shirt, but I tugged my shoulder away and stalked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me from intruders. I walked straight to the mirror, gazing at my depressed reflection. It was Lucius Malfoy staring back at me, his gray eyes dark with anger, his lips tugged down in a disappointed frown. The Dark Lord's laughter echoed around the bathroom, and I gripped onto the sink with desperation. My mother's laughter filled my head, and I began to sob crazily as my fingers tightened around the sink. I couldn't do this. I had failed my mother, I had disappointed the Dark Lord, I had become a failure like my father. I cried like a dying child, turning my mind off as I pointed the wand at my head. I would wipe my memories before I murdered myself. I didn't want to kill myself thinking of my life. I didn't want to think of my mother or of Granger. Another sob racked my body as I thought of my sweet Hermione. I had fallen in love with her, completely and madly in love with her. I was so obsessed with the girl; I knew I would remember her in Hell, even when I wiped my memories. She deserved someone better, someone who would give her a happy life. I was only going to bring misery to her life. I was going to cause her friends to hate her. I was going to force her into my Pureblood lifestyle; the balls, the parties, the expensive clothes, the submissive attitude. I didn't want that life for Hermione, but that was the only life I knew. That was the life that I was destined to live, and I needed a Pureblood mate for my lifestyle. I cried harder as I imagined Granger's hands running up and down my back. The touch felt so real that I actually shivered from it. I shut my eyes tightly, imagining her soft lips pressing gentle kisses to the side of my neck.

My eyes snapped open as I felt my wand being pulled from my hand, and I stared into the mirror as Granger's face came into focus. Her honey brown eyes were wide with fear, and tears were silently streaming down her face, running through her brown freckles. Her hair was a wild mess of curls on her head. Her lips were parted, and she was breathing raggedly. She gave me a watery smile, a reassuring smile as she hugged me around the waist, laying her head in the crook of my neck as she cried for me. I twirled in her arms and clutched her to me, burying my face in her curls and sobbing like a child. She sobbed with me, sobbed for my pain. Her arms hugged my waist, her tears wetting my collar. I cried into her neck, and she clutched me harder. Oh Merlin, I loved this girl to the point that my heart would burst out of my chest and follow her wherever she went. She owned me, she possessed me, she controlled me. I would give up my Pureblood life for her if she wanted me to. I would give up everything if she wanted. If she asked me to kill myself, then I would fucking do it.

She murmured my name, kissing my neck softly as she ran her hands up and down my shirt. She was my guilty pleasure, the forbidden fruit that I kept picking from the tree when I knew it would kill me later on life. I couldn't get enough of the girl, of her smiles, her intelligence, her bossy attitude, her glares, her smirks, her laughs, her body, her beauty. I was obsessed, and I was falling deeper in love with her every second of the day. I wanted to shout it from the Astronomy Tower. I wanted everyone to know that she was mine, that she wore me on her ever fucking day. I wanted her so bad, I needed her like I needed fucking air. I would not allow myself to live without her. I didn't care if I had to kidnap her and keep her drugged and gagged for the rest of my life. I had her now, and I was not going to let her go. I was going to keep her for the rest of my life, I was going to own her forever.

I trailed kisses up her throat, pecking a loud kiss on her lips, and I trailed my tongue to her ear. I sucked her earlobe in my mouth, and she sighed softly and with content. I pressed a small kiss to her ear, and my heart started to beat wildly in my chest.

"I love you, Hermione Granger. I love you so much."

I leaned back just as she opened her eyes quickly and stared at me wildly. I swallowed and began to pull away, but she clutched my face with her hands and brought us closer until our noses were touching.

"Say it again," she whispered in a soft voice.

I stared at her, and a small smile was tugging on her lips. Her eyes were bright, and I held her face in my hands. "I love you, Hermione."

She blinked, and her smile grew into a loving grin. She threw her face into my shoulder, and she laughed happily. "I love you too, Draco Malfoy. I love you more than you could ever know." I breathed a sigh of relief and laughed nervously, clutching Granger tighter to my chest and I nestled my face in the crook of her neck. She loved me, too. She loved me back. For me, that was enough. That was all I wanted, and suddenly, my world didn't seem so full of darkness. I had a reason to live now. If I could live through the war that was brewing, I swore that I would marry Granger and be the man she deserved. I would make her happier than she had ever been. I'd vow to try and be cordial to her friends, to show them how much Granger means to me by trying to keep them in her life. I would reform myself from an evil Death Eater and be a good person for society. I would do all of this to keep Hermione Granger. My heart pounded with fear as my love for her grew deeper. I knew I would have to tell her soon. I knew I would need to tell her that I was a Death Eater.

But right now, she loved me. That was enough for me. That was all I wanted. That was all I needed to live.

I stalked closer to the door, trying to peer into the room to get a glimpse of Slughorn and Granger. I had walked Granger back to her common room after our confessions, and she came back two hours later in her Christmas party dress. I spent two more hours making love to her before she finally got to the party with clingy McLaggen. I was happy to see that she hated him as much as I did. I ducked as Potter passed by, and I watched as he followed Granger behind a see through, pale pink curtain. She seemed to be flustered, and I silently chuckled to myself. She had been dodging McLaggen all night, and she had just ditched him from under the mistletoe. She was a smart girl. If she had kissed him, I would've burst into this room and dragged her out by her hair. They talked before she ducked out of the room, avoiding McLaggen again as he walked behind the curtain, asking for my Granger. She hurried to the other side of the room, getting stopped by Slughorn, and I watched him intensely. Slughorn was always jolly, always in a happy place, ignorant of reality. He was a perfect target for my plan. The mead was almost done, and Rosmerta had gotten the poison like I told her to. All she had to do was make it, and I would force her to give it to Slughorn as a gift. She would tell him to give it to Dumbledore as a gift. I silently hoped that Slughorn didn't screw this up. There was no way for him to screw it up. All he had to do was give the shit to Dumbledore. Then, Dumbledore would drink it and die. It would be a quick death, an easy death with no suffering. He would feel no pain at all as he died. He didn't deserve to feel pain. The painful death was what I deserved, not sweet old Dumbledore.

I cursed loudly as I felt a hand grab my shirt and pull me roughly into the party. All the noise stopped, and I smirked at Blaise as he took his hand from under his date's dress. He glared at me, and I blew him a kiss. I rolled my eyes as Filch breathed wickedly on my neck, and I tried to jerk my shirt from his dirty hand. "Get your hands off me, you filthy Squib!" I don't know how my father could think Muggleborns were the dirtiest thing in the wizarding world. I think the most disgusting thing was Filch and his ugly ass cat. Potter and Weasley were first on the shit list, of course.

Filch pushed me away and beamed proudly at Snape and Slughorn. I furrowed my brow. What the fuck was Snape doing at a festive party?

"I've found the boy lurking around the party, trying to break in."

I scoffed. "What the fuck would I want with this party?" Other than having my hand under Granger's pink dress. I looked over at her and smirked seductively, and she blushed red, pushing McLaggen's hand off of her shoulder and stepping closer to Potter. That's right Granger, move into safer territory before I snatch you away from here. Potter glared at me, and I scowled at him.

Snape moved in front of me, disappointment evident in his eyes. I sneered at the man. He was really starting to annoy me. "I'll escort Mr. Malfoy out." He arched an eyebrow at me, challenging me to defy him.

I pursed my lips and glared at him. "Certainly, professor."

He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the party behind him, and I glanced behind me as Granger watched me curiously. I sighed mentally. She didn't ask me why I had been crying or why I wanted to kill myself, but I knew how badly she wanted to know. She wasn't going to ask me why Snape forced me out of the party, but I knew how much she wanted to know. I smirked to myself. That was who she was, my little Gryffindor Queen. She was too curious for her own good, always wanting to know things that she was left out on. In a flash, my thoughts of Granger disappeared as Snape pushed me roughly up against a wall, his black eyes darkening on me.

"What the hell are you doing, Draco?" he seethed, and I stared at my professor in shock.

I composed myself and pushed him away from me, straightening my back as I said, "It's none of your business what I am doing. All you need to do is update my mother on my progress. That's all I've asked you do to, Snape."

"Draco, I swore to help you, to protect you. I made an Unbreakable Vow."

"I know what you fucking did! I know what happened, Snape, but I don't want your damn help!"

"Watch your language, Draco."

I growled and punched the wall, cracking the bones in my fists. "If you stopped cornering me, I wouldn't be using this kind of language in front of you!"

"Why don't you just accept my help, Draco?"

"I don't need your fucking help, you tosser! The Dark Lord chose me! He trusted me to do this! This is my moment, mine! I won't fail him!" And I swore that I wouldn't fail the Dark Lord. After the confessional that Granger and I had, I had a new outlook on life. I was going to pass my tasks; I couldn't afford to lose Granger. I wouldn't lose her to the evilness surrounding me. I glared at Snape before walking away, stalking down the hall and seething in my own anger until I heard a sweet voice call my name. I let out a deep breath and turned to face Granger as she ran towards me, her breath coming out in loud pants as she slowed down in front of me. I eyed her frame. She was small and petite in that pink dress, the hem of it flaring out above her knees. Her legs went on for miles, and her toenails were colored a pale pink. She had on some makeup that highlighted her natural beauty, and my breath literally flew away from me. She was so beautiful, such a gorgeous light in my darkness. I strode to her and kissed her full on the lips. She didn't complain; she moaned into the kiss and opened up to me, stuffing her tongue in my mouth as I clutched her tightly to me. I released her and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the staircase. I was going to make love with her in the room, in our room. I was going to make love to her until I died.

We walked quickly, and she giggled quietly by my side. I rolled my eyes, but a playful smile lit up my face. She always told me that we acted like a pair of horny teenagers. I couldn't deny it. It was so true. I guess that's how you act when you're in love with someone. We quickly made it to the room, and I paced in front of it three times, asking for the golden room I always imagined with Granger. I always had the room red and gold; it was all for her. It made her comfortable, so it made me comfortable. She was my queen, and I would do everything I could to make her feel safe with me. She walked into the room and pulled me in by the collar of my shirt, pressing her lips to mine, and I moaned into the kiss. I grabbed her hips, groaning from the little whimpers of pleasure she made. I reached behind her and pulled the zipper of her dress down, grabbing her thick straps and sliding them down her body. She shivered, and I smirked against her lips. I was the only one that could make her feel like this, feel this good. She began to unbutton my shirt, and I ignored the chill of fear that ran through me. I pulled my shirt off as she was done with the buttons, and I wrapped my arms around her petite body. My body froze as her hand fell onto my left shoulder, as her skin connected with mine, and I roughly pushed her away from me.

"Draco, what's-"

She opened her eyes, and I quickly turned around. I cursed loudly, stepping away from Granger as the bandage fell from my wrists into a pool of white cloth onto the ground. I heard Granger gasp loudly, and my heart thudded in my ribs. I grabbed the cloth and tried to wrap it back around my arm, the Dark Mark staring furiously at me, but I dropped it as my hands shook violently.

"Let me do it," she offered, her hand laying down on my back.

I panicked and ran from her, huddling close to the wall as the tears fell down my face. I swore loudly after realizing that I had left the bandage next to Granger's feet, and I kept my right hand on my left forearm. The Dark Mark burned into my hand, and I bit my lip, my eyes frantically looking everywhere for my wand until I saw it on the floor next to my bandage. I banged my head onto the wall, and Granger gasped in shock at the crazy episode I was having. Why the hell did I leave my wand in my pocket? I should've known it would fall out when I bent down to pick up the cloth.

"Don't move!" I screamed loudly at Granger as she made a move towards me. She froze and stared at me incredulously, fear and worry shining in her eyes. The tears kept streaming down my face as I clutched my forearm, trying desperately to hide it from Granger. She couldn't see it. Not now. Not after this afternoon. She loved me, damn it! I wanted to keep that love for as long as possible. It was too soon for it to leave me!

Her eyes softened, and she stepped towards me again. "Your arm isn't ugly, Draco."

"You haven't seen the worst part, Granger! Stay the fuck away from me!"

"No!" she screamed, and she ran to me, crouching down as she tried to pull my hand away. She peered suspiciously as a line of black creeped from under my hand. "Is that where she cursed you?"

I tried to run, but Granger wedged herself in between my legs, and I stuffed my left arm in between our bodies. My right hand flinched with the urge to slap her away from me, but I recoiled from the idea in disgust. I would never lay a hand on Granger. I would never attack my queen that way. "Granger, please," I pleaded warily, my eyes wide and watery, staring into her sympathetic ones. "You can't see it. You love me."

"Draco, I'll still love you. The curse doesn't change you."

It did change me.

I shook my head furiously and let out a small sob, my head throbbing painfully. I was torn, conflicted with showing her my mark and hiding it. Either way, she would run from me. She would hate me. "Granger, you can't see it."

"Why not, Draco? Don't you trust me to help you?"

I nodded but whispered, "You can't help me. Granger, no one can help me. He's gonna' kill me."

Her eyes widened, and she dangerously laid her hand on my right one. "Who is?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat, staring into those honey eyes. I love her eyes. I love her so much. "Voldemort."

She stared at me for a while, her chest rising and falling with her breathing. Her lips sealed tightly together, and her brow furrowed suspiciously. Her eyes darted to the small black line on my left forearm, and I almost screamed with grief as her eyes glowered at me. Granger wasn't stupid. She'd piece the puzzles together in a heartbeat.

After all, she was the brightest witch of her age.

"Draco," she whispered after a long moment, "let me see your arm." Her eyes had lost all warmth, all love for me. They were lifeless brown orbs, and I sobbed harder. I had lost her. Her love was gone. The strength in me evaporated, and I hesitantly lifted my hand away from my arm. She gasped in disgust, and I could feel waves of fear roll off her. She crawled backwards towards her dress, her eyes wide and fearful, staring straight at me. She hastily pulled her dress on, and I jumped in front of the door before she could escape me.

"Hermione, please-"

"Don't Malfoy."

I would've been happier if she slapped me. I would've been happier if she cast the Killing Curse on me. I felt as if my heart had been ripped to shreds, and I clutched at my chest. The Dark Mark glared up at me, the snake laughing at me as Granger stared at me with shock and hatred. There was so much hate in her eyes. I just wanted to hold her. I needed her to understand that I didn't want this.

"Hermione, please-"

"You're a fucking Death Eater, Malfoy!" I flinched. "How could you do this? Did you think fucking me would make me spill my secrets of Harry and the Order?"

I stared at her incredulously, the rage boiling inside of me. "What the fuck would I want with your secrets, Granger?" I snarled, and she cringed. "I fuck you because I love you!"

She laughed humorlessly. "How dare you say that to me? You don't love me! If you loved me, you would've let me go before it got to this! You wouldn't have brought me deeper into your horrible life! You would've realized that I needed better!"

I growled and punched the door heatedly, and she jumped in fright. "Don't you think I know that, Granger!? Don't you think I wanted to? For fuck's sake, I couldn't do it! That's how much I selfishly love you! I knew you needed better. I knew you needed someone who wasn't on the other side, and I even knew you needed a fucking tosser like Weasley, but I didn't give a damn! The more we had sex, the more my obsession for you became real! The more time we spent together, the more I wanted you by my side! I can't get enough, Hermione!" I stared intensely into her eyes, pleading with her to understand me. She needed to understand that I loved her. Despite the Dark Mark, despite our blood statuses, despite our Houses, despite my dislike for her for the last six years, I fucking loved her.

She stared daggers at me, and I knew that look would've killed me in an instant. "You expect me to stand here and listen to you rant about how much you 'love' me?" she scoffed disbelievingly, and my heart dissolved in my stomach acid. "Suppose you do really, really love me like you say. That doesn't change the fact that you are a Death Eater! That doesn't change what side you are on, Malfoy! That doesn't change who you are loyal to! I'm loyal to Harry Potter, and I will always be loyal to him! I will fight whoever is opposing him, and that happens to be you now." She exhaled loudly, her eyes emotionless orbs as they looked at me. I felt a rush of panic sweep over me, and I sagged against the door as I felt my body lose its strength. I couldn't do this. I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep her but trying to was taking a toll on me. I had to let her go. She knew now, and I had to let her leave me. It was the right thing to do. It was what I should've done a long time ago, before it got this far. She was on the other side, the golden side, the winning side. I was her enemy. I had branded myself as her enemy, and I couldn't go back and change it. I was stuck as a Death Eater. I would be Death Eater scum for life.

"It's better if we stop this," she said, and I could hear the slight sadness in her voice. "We can't do this anymore, Malfoy." Malfoy. "I can't see you anymore."

I scooted from the door as she approached it, her hand laying gently onto the golden handle. She sniffed, and I shut my eyes as I imagined the silent tears running down her face. I couldn't wipe them away and make her feel better. I was the one that caused them.

"I won't come for you anymore," she said, and I bit my lip to keep the sob from escaping me.

I nodded and leaned my head against the stone wall. "Hermione, please don't go. I need to explain this."

"Explain what? Malfoy, I don't know why I didn't see this coming. Your father is Lucius Malfoy, notorious Death Eater. You're a Malfoy, and your family has been in the Dark Arts for years. You're an elite pureblood, and only elite purebloods become Death Eaters. This was your calling, and I was too blind to see it coming."

"Hermione, no. I didn't-"

She laughed humorlessly, and I opened my eyes as she stared hard at the door. She sniffed again, and a tear rolled down her tear-stained face. "Don't tell me you didn't want the mark, Malfoy. You could've said no."

I sneered at her, and I roughly pushed her to the door. She stared at me in disbelief, and I leaned into her. "You think you're so fucking clever, don't you?" I hissed. "You think that everyone has a choice. You know that all your little brave lions make their own fucking choices in life because they're so goddamn brave. Well let me ask you this, Granger: if you had to choose keeping your mother alive or watching her be tortured and die a horrible death in front of your eyes, what would you choose? If you actually saw your mother tortured, trembling on the ground from curse after curse after curse, because you hesitated to say yes, what the fuck would you choose?" She swallowed and glanced at the floor nervously, and I backed away from her. "Not so clever now, are you."

She glared at me, and then she suddenly slapped me, hard. My head snapped to the side, and I stared at her in shock, cradling my burning cheek. "I wouldn't have had that problem because Voldemort isn't interested in recruiting Mudbloods." She turned to the door, but her hand hesitated on the handle. "I'm sorry," she muttered, and I scowled at her back.

"For what? Not having any compassion for the person you love?"

She whirled around, and I immediately recoiled. Her face was red and stained with tears, her brown orbs darkening with anger and sorrow. Her hands were shaking by her sides, and I almost sobbed from the overwhelming guilt that was suffocating me.

"I'm sorry that your mother was tortured," she said shakily. "I'm sorry you felt that you had to become a Death Eater. I'm sorry that you were born into this fate. I'm sorry that I even came into your life because now…." Her voice cracked, and I sunk to my knees, grasping my head in my hands.

"Please don't do this, Hermione."

She cleared her throat and exhaled warily. "Now, even with that mark on your arm, I don't know how to leave you."

My head snapped up, and I quickly got to my feet. She stared at with wide, teary eyes, and I hesitantly took a step towards her. She didn't flinch, so I took another,

"Hermione-"

"I hate you! I hate you so much right now. I feel like you pulled me into all of your mess, and I know that I need to go and leave you alone forever. You're a Death Eater for Merlin's sake! But I can't. I can't because I love you so much. I love you so much that I don't know what to do right now.

"Hermione-"

"You should've gone to Dumbledore! He would help you so much, but you kept this secret for months. How long have you been hiding this?"

I swallowed my tears, and I whispered brokenly, "June. For six months."

She gasped on a sob, and I wanted to pull her into my arms. I wanted to make love to her until she forgot about this, until all she could think of was how much she loved me. "Six months! You haven't gone to Dumbledore yet! Why not?"

"He can't fucking help me-"

She slammed her fists into the door, and I flinched in shock. "Because you don't fucking want it, Malfoy! It's almost like you've accepted the fact that you have to be this horrible human being!" I do accept it because it's true. "It's like you don't care that you're a Death Eater! It's like you're fine with it!"

I sneered at her and took another step towards her. She didn't flinch. "That I'm fine with this? Hermione, this shit is tearing me apart! You even said it yourself, I'm not eating. I'm not playing Quidditch. I'm sick, Hermione! This shit has fucked my whole life up!"

"Then why didn't you say something to me?" She screamed it so loudly that my entire body froze in disbelief. "Malfoy, I would've helped you if you asked! I would've helped you if you didn't truly want to be a Death Eater!"

I growled and threw my head back, a humorless laugh escaping my lips. "Hermione, how many times do I have to say it? You can't fucking help me!"

"You never gave me the opportunity-"

"Because I don't want you tainted with this shit-"

"Draco, I love you! I'm already tainted with it!"

We stood there, staring at each other with wide eyes, our breaths coming out in fast gasps. She swallowed and took a step towards me. I didn't flinch. She took another step and hesitantly reached out to stroke my cheek. I let out a strangled moaned, and I grabbed her, pulling her flush against me. She buried her face in my neck and let out a muffled sob. I just held her as she cried. There were no tears that fell from my eyes; I've cried enough about this. Now, it was her turn to cry. Now, it was my turn to comfort her. Besides, it's my fault that she's crying over something like this.

She lifted her beautiful face up, the freckles on her face shining in the light. "I will always love you," she whispered, and I physically started to shake. "I love you so much that I'm still willing to risk everything for you. And that will get me in to so much trouble, with Harry, Ron, with everyone. But I love you, and I will not give up on you, because deep down, I know you didn't want this. But you have to let me help you."

I clutched her harder and shook my head violently. "No, you can't-"

"Stop saying that I can't. I know I can. We can go to Dumbledore together."

Oh my fucking goodness. That's the one fucking person I absolutely can't go to.

"I can't go to him, Hermione."

She pushed me away, and I furiously ran my hands through my hair. "Why can't you?" she yelled in frustration. "You said you didn't want this, but when I offer ways to help, you say 'no'? What the fuck do you want, Draco? What the fuck do I need to do to help you? I'm already risking everything by still being in this damned room with you! So tell me, what do you want?"

And as I stared at her, watching as she tilted her head to the side, watched as her eyes grew incredulously, watched as her chest rose and fell with each exasperated breath, I realized what she could do. I realized what she should have done from the start.

She had to go.

I'm loyal to Harry Potter, and I will always be loyal to him!

I was staring at Potter's Golden Girl. I was looking at The Brightest and Most Compassionate Witch of Our Age. This was the Hermione Granger, the real person who could save the wizarding world from Voldemort. If I warped her deeper into my world, if she truly sacrificed herself for me, then she would lose her friends, her family. She would lose Potter, and Potter honestly cannot win this war without Hermione's intelligence and skill. If he didn't win the war, then any future dreams I had with Hermione were out the window. If I kept being selfish, if I kept her close to me, then she would be separated from Potter. He could really lose without her, and I can't risk that. She needed to be with Potter, I realized. She needed to be on that side for the long run. I was going to hold her back. If I truly loved her, then I had to let her go so that she could end this war.

I'm already risking everything

Yes, you are. I always knew that being with me would mean she would have to risk everything. Now that it's a reality, I understand that she can't afford to risk everything. Looking at her in this moment, watching those big golden eyes stare at me, I see that it was never going to work. Even if we tried, we were always on two different sides of the field. She is tied to Harry Potter, and I am tied to Voldemort. It's in her duty to destroy my side, and it's in my nature to destroy hers. And if there is any type of future with her, no matter how small or how far away, that future would only become a reality if Potter wins the war, which he can't do without her brains. Plus, if she says she'll risk it all for me, I believe it. She just can't risk it. She absolutely can't risk anything. There's no way our two sides can co-exist the way she wants. I can't go get help from Dumbledore. Even if that worked, her people wouldn't accept me because of this brand on my arm. No matter what angle I look at, no matter which perspective I look through, it just will never work with us.

So, to save her, save my mother, save any possible dream of us being together, then I had to let her go.

I swallowed hard and backed away from her. I took a deep breath and bit my lip before saying softly, "I need you to go."

She stared at me confusedly. "What?"

"Hermione, get out."

"Draco, no. I'm telling you that I'll stay with you. I'm telling you that I-"

She yelped as I flew to her, grabbing her arms roughly and pushing her against the door. "Did I fucking stutter," I hissed menacingly, and her eyes grew hard and cold. "I said get the fuck out."

She shook her head. "You don't mean that. You-"

"I mean it. Get out. It's clear that we're on two different sides of this war."

"But I can help you-"

"I don't want your fucking help, Granger. I want you to get the hell out of my face." I opened the door from behind and rudely shoved her out of the room. I slammed the door shut and let out a long, shaky breath. I slumped against the door and fell to the floor, curled into a ball, and cried forever. I cried as I cursed my father, as I screamed for my mother, as I yearned for Granger's love. I just sat there and cried, the Dark Mark laughing at me, satisfied with the damage it's done in my life.