Eleventh Decision

The sound of quick steps echoed through the dim halls of the residence. Haru followed Hayato and tried to calm him down while calling out his name. "Hayato, wait!" But he ignored her shouts and ran straight into his room without looking back at her. "Hayato! Let's talk…" She knocked at his door a couple of times but he didn't answer. "Hayato!" After standing there for a while staring at the old wooden door she took a deep breath and sighed. "Fine… let's talk when you're ready Hayato… sleep well." She turned around and left for her room.

"Sleep well." For a second she thought it was just her imagination. But that small whisper certainly reached her ear. She was sure that he said it and smiled slightly. Gokudera Hayato. Just what is on your mind? She thought.

After she brushed her teeth and put on her pajama she lied in bed for a while. Her eyes were closed, it was totally dark and super quiet. But she couldn't fall asleep in this unfamiliar bed in this unfamiliar room. Was it because she kept thinking and thinking about everything that was going on at the moment? She tried but she couldn't stop thinking about it. The quietness and darkness made her thoughts even more clear.

"It's no good." She said to herself after she realized how hard it is to empty her mind. She stood up from her bed and went out of the room. She walked around the dark halls that were lit with a few candles. Without having a direction in mind she just walked to where her feet took her. In the end she arrived outside at the garden of the mansion and sat down a bench in the middle of a flower bed. Only the light reflected by the full moon and of the stars in the sky lit the area. For a while she closed her eyes and listened to the wind rushing through the leaves of the trees surrounding her. The wind was refreshing and it wasn't too cold. The air felt nice. It was very different from the air in the big city. She didn't know how long she sat there with her eyes closed but she just couldn't stop thinking. His face appeared in her thoughts all the time.

"Miura-san." Haru opened her eyes as she heard Laura's voice calling her name and turned to the direction from which it came from.

"Hello there." Haru greeted her with a slight smile while Laura was approaching her.

"You can't sleep?" Laura sat next to Haru and asked.

"That's right…" Haru sighed. "I guess it's hard for me to sleep in unfamiliar places. Same goes to the hospital."

"Right, I heard that you were going through a hard time a couple of months ago…" After Laura mentioned that incident Haru stayed quiet for a while with a blank expression on her face. Pictures of that day came up inside her head as if they were etched in her mind. She recalled those moments one by one. Each memory felt like a knife stinging in her heart. Haru realized that she was still not over it.

"It was nothing compared to the pain that the others always endured." Haru finally answered and looked at Laura. Of course for Haru alone it was a fearful experience but when she thought about all the pain that the others endured it was really nothing.

"May I know what happened?" Haru was surprised that Laura asked. The others never dared to ask because they were afraid to hurt her. Afraid that they'd awaken bad memories in her. Not even Gokudera talks about it with her. Laura was the first one not afraid to ask her.

"You are the first one to ask me what happened." Haru said her thoughts out loud. "The others only asked if I was alright." Maybe that was the only thing they dared to ask. If it was Haru in their stead maybe Haru would also act like them. But if someone asked if she was alright regardless of the truth she would always say that she was. Because if she said she wasn't wouldn't the others be flustered? Wouldn't they feel awkward?

"Because to me it seems that you're ready to talk about it. Or rather that you already want to talk about it." Laura explained. "I can see in your eyes that you are strong and mature for your age. But you don't have to be strong all the time. You can rely on others too."

"I see…" She didn't know why but Laura's words felt consoling to her. Sometimes talking about it makes you feel better. Sometimes keeping it to yourself makes it better. It's different for everyone. But she guessed that she was someone who needed to talk about it. After all she was a chatterbox.

"Our allied family was involved in a war with another family. Just like yours right now. A lot of them were held hostage at the enemy's quarters they even kidnapped children which they probably wanted to sell off as slaves. Me and a friend invaded them as hostages to free the other hostages while the others were launching a surprise attack to distract the enemies." Haru told her the whole story with all the details that she remembered from that day. It was as if a huge burden was falling off her chest. She must have kept it to herself for too long. "While we were escaping I got caught up in an explosion. That's why I had to stay in the hospital for a while. And a scar on my forehead reminds me of it everyday when I look into the mirror."

"It must have been hard but you did well in the end." Laura laid a hand on Haru's shoulder.

"Yes. I'm glad nothing worse happened… I guess there will never be a mission without sacrifices but the mission was a success in the end and we could save everyone." After talking to her in this familiar atmosphere, not like in that big dining hall, Haru's impression of Laura gradually changed in a positive way. She felt like a real grandmother now rather than a grand madam of a mafia family. The things that she could never tell anyone easily slipped off her lips.

"And because of that the young boy became so overprotective of you. He must love you a lot." Laura's words shocked Haru for a split of a second. Her heart rate became faster and she felt her face heating up by the thought of that.

But she immediately retorted. "It's not like that." She explained. "It was Hayato whom I protected from the shock of the explosion. He and another comrade were protecting us and the hostages escaping. But I just went were my legs took me without thinking I jumped in between the mess. That's why he's so overprotective about me…" Although they are together she never heard those words from him. In the same way that she felt that maybe he does like her she also doubted it.

"Of course he loves you. And I can see that you love him too. It makes me remember my late husband and me when we were young." Laura reminisced.

"Oh... I'm sorry..." Haru stuttered. "It must be painful to remember the one you love when he is not with you anymore..."

"Well, it does. But there's nothing you need to apologize for. Since they are all good memories. The happy moments we experienced. And the sad moments we experienced. They are all good memories." She said gently patting Haru's head. "I'm happy that I was able to live with him by my side."

"I see… that's great. I wonder if I'll be able to say that someday…" Haru mumbled quietly.

"Do you think the one to be beside you will be Gokudera-san?" Laura asked.

"Well… I would like it that way…" She confessed. "…but I'm not sure of it yet… even though I like him… no, I love him… I think he's just staying with me because he feels guilty about it."

"It doesn't seem that way for me though. Do you not think that he loves you?" Laura was surprised that she thought that way because to her it seemed obvious.

"I… sometimes feel loved by him. When I look into his eyes… when he's holding my hand… but I'm still doubtful. He never told me that he loves me not even that he likes me." Haru told her.

"If he really does he'll make you feel loved. Don't worry about it." In Laura's eyes there was nothing for Haru to worry about. Rather she wondered what made the young girl so doubtful of her boyfriend. She wondered if an old experience is holding her back from opening her heart to him.

"I don't know why but I want to hear it coming from his mouth so much. I get more anxious the more we are together without him ever having said the he likes me. I know that actions say more than words but…" It was already a big step for Haru to accept him. Sometimes she still wondered why she accepted to go out with him when she was still so doubtful. Maybe it was just that one moment that had her forget all her doubts and made her heart decide for her. Maybe she just wanted him so much that she was blinded by him. Maybe it was something entirely else. But she kept wondering.

"But sometimes… a lot of times words are needed too." Laura said. "Because we can't see inside the head of the other of course, words are needed. If you are more honest with yourself and he will be honest with you too."

"Maybe…" They silently sat together for a while and then parted after wishing good night to each other. Back in her bedroom Haru's mind was still full but thanks to her soothing talk with Laura she could finally fall asleep.

Hey :)

Sorry I'm making you wait all the time, but I don't want to give up on this fanfiction I will hopefully complete this someday for you and for me :)

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Stay well! and see you next time :D