A/N: Here's a little one-shot thing I wrote for Neptunia's 10th anniversary. Yeah I'm a few days late, sue me.

It's probably not that great. I wrote it in about an hour at two in the morning, and based the entire plot off of two sentences I typed into notepad with no other context. Also the anniversary has nothing to do with it other than giving me an excuse to write a fic for my favorite game series, but hey, whatever.

It was another sunny, warm day in Planeptune. And Neptune should have been enjoying a nice and lazy morning with her adorable sister, Nepgear. Should have been.

"Oh Nepgear, my darling little sister, you're so cute today as well!" Vert was grinding up against Nepgear, her arms locked around the CPU candidate's stomach in a bear hug.

"WHAT." Neptune happened to be standing right there next to them, witness to it all.

"O-oh, goodness, Vert. This again, really?" Nepgear cheeks flushed from the emotional pressure of being squeezed between the blonde haired goddess's royal endowment.

"THE."

"Well yes, of course, I have to come give you your daily loving as an older sister should, yes?"

"HECKKKKK?!"

"Oh...b-but you know how upset Neptune gets when you do these kinds of things..."

"HEYYYY! STOP IGNORING MEEEE! WHAT GIVES, VERT?!" Neptune found herself on the other end of her sister, yanking on her arm trying to pry her out of Vert's death grip. "C'mon, Vert, what the heck?! Why are you even here this early?"

"Whatever do you mean, Neptune? How else am I supposed to bask in Nepgear's radiant early morning expressions?"

"YOU'RE NOT, DANG IT, THAT'S THE POINT!" Neptune continued fighting against Vert's busty currents for her dear Nep Jr. "C'mon! Let. Her. GOOoo!" She found herself having to relinquish her fruitless grip in order to regain her breath.

"I haven't gotten my daily dose of Nepgear yet, so I'm afraid I cannot."

"Man, it's too early for this, at least give me a fighting chance here, geez!"

"All is fair in love and war, I'm afraid. And this is both."

"AUUUGHHHH! C'MONNNN!"

"N-Neptune! Vert! P-please stop fighting!" Nepgear finally chimed in, wanting to stop the two CPUs from arguing over her. "I'm sure we can work this out like adults...maybe?"

Vert seemed to consider Nepgear's words for a moment before replying. "Hmm, well I wouldn't have any problem with that, but if we go by chest size, then Neptune isn't much of an adult."

Neptune crossed her arms. "Nuh-uh, sister, that ain't gonna work on me! My loli-cute body is a major charm point. And besides, I'm like, totally the most adulty adult here!"

Vert cocked her head in curiosity. "Oh, is that so? I suppose you'll be gracing us with your adult solution then?"

"Huh? Me?! Uhh..." Neptune brought a finger to her mouth in thought, then smiled after a moment. "Oh! Yeah, sure, I got it! Adults always, like, compromise and stuff, so let's like work out a deal, okay?"

That got Vert's attention. She let go of Nepgear, considering Neptune's idea seriously. "A deal, you say? What kind of deal are we talking about here?"

"Um, weeellll, I was hoping we could discuss the specifics in...private, y'know what I'm sayin'? Come to an agreement we can both be happy with."

"W-wait, in private?! G-goodness, Neptune, you're not going to make me do anything weird, right?"

"Aw relax, Nep Jr, your big sis wouldn't make you do anything...TOO embarrassing. Maybe. Don't sweat the small stuff." Neptune waved her sister's concerns away.

"Um, I don't think that's really making me feel any better..."

"Mmm! Well, I for one think this sounds like a wonderful opportunity. I must say I'm pleasantly surprised, Neptune."

"Um, yeah sure. We have a spare guest room down the hall, let's GOOOO!."

"Very well, lead the way."

Neptune led Vert down to the far end of the Planeptune basilicom hallway, and held open one of the doors leading to a dark room, ushering Vert inside. "After you, m'lady⁓" Vert entered the room, with Neptune following silently behind her. Neptune turned the lights on before closing the door.

The room had been dark due to a lack of windows. In fact it had a lack of much of anything. Not even carpeting. This left Vert feeling more than a little confused. "Neptune, I thought you said this was a guest room." Vert surveyed the empty room, baffled.

"Oh, haha, maybe the guest room was on the OTHER end of the hall, silly me!" Neptune was still standing behind Vert. She cracked her knuckles. "But honestly, this is all a guest like you really deserves anyway, so it's totally fine."

"Wha—AHHH" Vert spun around in reaction to Neptune's words, and just in time to insure that her face was on the receiving end of the full force of Neptune's fist. The force of the blow sent her reeling onto the floor.

She immediately attempted to get up, but Neptune drove the side of Vert's head back into the floor with her foot, grinding the bottom of her shoe into the other goddess's cheek. She stared down at the other goddess with a disgustingly fake smile plastered across her face. "Heya Verty-Vert, have I ever told you that I'm a kangaroo?"

"P-please, Neptune," Vert managed to choke out through clenched teeth, " I get it now. I'll stop, I promise! I-I won't ever touch her again, just please, don't—"

Neptune, seemingly ignoring Vert's desperate pleading blurted out "Hey⁓ How about I tell you a cool kangaroo fact!" She slowly raised her foot off of the other goddess's head. Vert took the opportunity to try getting to her feet again, in a panic. She didn't make it very far before Neptune kicked her square in the mouth, flipping her on her back. Vert let out a gurgled cry, as her mouth was quickly filling with blood and broken teeth. Tears from the pain fell from her eyes. Neptune moved towards where Vert landed, in a carefree manner. "They kick REALLLLLLLY hard! Isn't that just super neat-o?"

Neptune removed her sword from her, admittedly extremely convenient, inventory. Vert attempted to speak, but just ended up coughing up blood. "It's too late for that, Verty. Like, for real though. I can't even understand what you're even saying anymore! Haha." Neptune giggled as if she just finished telling a lighthearted joke. With a terrified expression on her face, Vert feebly tried to inch herself away from Neptune. "Oh, Vert⁓ Where the FUCK—" Vert emitted another cry of pain as Neptune stabbed her sword downward through Vert's leg and into the floor, pinning the goddess to the ground. "—do you think you're going, huh? I'm not done dealing with you yet." Neptune maneuvered herself over the pinned goddess and bent down so that she was straddling the other woman's stomach. Neptune wagged a finger mockingly. "And don't you even think about using HDD now. We both know how that goes, hehe..." Vert just stared back at Neptune letting out a low, fearful whine subconsciously as blood continued dribbling down her mouth.

Neptune idly cupped one of Vert's breasts with her hand. "Geeze, your uh, assets, really are friggin' huge, aren't they? I wonder, do you have any sort of clue just how many times these monsters have assaulted my poor, innocent, little sister? Huh, Verty?" Vert shook her head, mechanically. Neptune laughed. "Well, your guess is as good as mine then! Suppose that's just testament to how many chances I've given you already. I'm such a patient, understanding person, aren't I?" Neptune shrugged with a smirk. "That's just part of being the protagonist though."

Neptune moved her hand from Vert's bosom to her head, grabbing her lightly by her hair, causing Vert to flinch. "But you're one of those kinda people that only learn the hard way, aren'tcha Vert? Aww, but don't worry, I'm such a nice gal so I'll keep this short and sweet! I'm just gonna tell ya what's what, and then you just nod your head so I know you understand! So easy, even I could do it⁓ Ready?" Neptune was still holding onto Vert's hair tightly, but she moved her head forward and back the best she could with a weak, panicked 'Mmm'. "Atta girl, atta girl. Right, so, Nep Jr. is MY precious, adorable little sister, yes?" Vert nodded her head again in response. "Great. And you're the super gross, creepy freak-o that won't leave her alone, correct?" Another nod. "Oooh, good, good! And don't get lost Vert, this is the important part. From this moment forward, you'll NEVER, put your grimy hands on my little sis EVER again, or I'll be sending your body back to your basilicom IN PIECES!"

Before Vert had the time to comprehend what was going to happen, Neptune began slamming Vert's head into the floor repeatedly. "Oh woooow, now there's a real vigorous response!" Neptune let out another giggle. "You must have understood real well to nod your head like that, huh⁓" Vert's vision began to blur and fade and all she could make were strained groaning noises.

Neptune got to her feet and theatrically dusted off her dress. "Well, that's that! I'm totally pooped now, so I'm gonna go grab some pudding⁓ Talk to ya later, kay?" She skipped out of the room with a big goofy grin on her face, slamming the door behind her as she left.