~ DIMITRI POV ~
It was almost time for training so I knew Rose would be here soon to change and get ready to meet me. I lay on her bed with one of my tattered westerns open in my lap. She had cleared her room since the last time I had seen it, but I saw her morning active gear thrown across the room. She managed to control her temper, at least until she got back to her room, and instead took her frustration out on her clothes. I noticed a small tear in her active shirt where the two must have gotten into a fight.
The sound of footsteps approaching my door alerted me to her return and I forced my body to stay calm and not react to her presence in the way it so desperately wants to. My mind was no better. Images raced through my mind quickly and I longed for our clothes to join those already discarded on the ground.
The door opened and closed with a bang. I heard her sigh facing the door before she slowly turned around and gasped upon seeing me on her bed.
"What are you doing here?" she asked coming towards me. Her tone wasn't sweet or accusatory. Just curious. Since our night together, we both knew how dangerous it was for us to be alone together, especially when there is a bed. But I needed to see her and talk to her, so I took a chance, throwing caution to the wind.
"I had to see you," I said closing my book and placing it on her nightstand.
"So, you came to my dorm? That's a dangerous move, Comrade," she said with a teasing tone as she approached me. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she bit her lip. My eyes were drawn to her soft plump lips caught between her teeth. God, I missed her lips.
"I thought it worth the risk," I said in a deep quiet voice as I sat up. Rose met me for a deep kiss that brought sighs of relief from both of us. my arms wrapped around her waist pulling her close to me. Without breaking the kiss, she lowered herself until she was straddling me. I dug my hand into her thick dark locks and groaned at the feeling of our bodies being so close together. She moaned in response. That moan caused shivers to run up my body. I wanted to forget all my morals and take her. But my guardian reasoning allowed me to gain my control back and I broke the kiss. We stared at each other whilst panting to recover our lost oxygen. We stayed in the same position, holding each other, whilst we gained back the clarity we lost with lust.
"We can't" I said just barely a whisper.
"I know," She said in response. I smiled. Of course, she did. She always understood. I wanted to kiss her again, but I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to ground myself. My hand released from Rose's hair and she fell back so she was still sitting on the bed with me but was no longer straddling me. The loss of contact made me feel incomplete. I was like a magnet, always drawn to her. I settled for holding her hand, so we were still connected, even if it wasn't in the way we wanted.
"I'm proud of you," I said after what felt like hours of silence. Her expression shifted. The remaining lust left her eyes and she turned serious.
"Because I didn't beat her up?" she asked. 'Yes' I said silently.
"Because you stayed strong. You kept yourself in control" I said. She looked at me.
"Only because you were there. I was seconds away from exploding with rage. If you hadn't come in, I think I would have stormed up to her and knocked her unconscious."
"I will always be here, but you don't need me. If you were going to attack her, you would have done it before I walked in." I said.
"What is she doing here?" Rose asked. Her voice was so quiet I almost missed it.
"She really was here to talk about Strigoi." I said.
"There's more," she said. I looked at her with a questioning look. "Come on. I know you. You're hiding something from me." She was right. I could never hide anything from her. I took a deep breath.
"There was a Strigoi attack near here. A massacre on a Badica family, with no survivors." She looked at me shocked. "Your mother was called in for extra security along with some other guardians whilst the investigation continues. She told me this morning when she came to the gym to see our training session." Rose turned from me. Her face scrunched as she took in all I had said. "There's something else," I said. Rose turned to me. "Arthur Schoenberg was one of the guardians killed." Rose's eyes widened. "You were mean to have your qualifier with him today. I was going to tell you in training when I got the news." Rose looked shattered, like I had just destroyed her hopes and dreams.
"But Arthur Schoenberg was a legend. One of the best guardians ever. How could anyone kill him?" she asked.
"The attack was done by a group of Strigoi." Rose's eyes grew scared. Strigoi working together was not unheard of, but a group was rare. Strigoi tended to prefer working alone. "And the house was warded, pierced with a stake. There was no guardian patrolling outside." I said. I wanted to give her all the details. She needed to know the dangers she would one day face.
"Strigoi can't touch stakes," she said. She sounded so lost. I squeezed her hand, rubbing calming circles with my thumb.
"Humans can."
"Humans working with Strigoi?" she asked. I nodded.
"For the promise of immortality."
"All our nightmares are coming true. This gives the Strigoi a massive advantage over us. this changes everything, doesn't it?" I nodded. I knew she would understand. She understood better than guardians twice her age. It was one of the reasons I loved her.
"Your mother is here for extra security while we try to figure out what to do." I told her. Rose seemed to accept this. It was a better reason than her being called in to just boast about her kills.
"Do you think I am being unfair?" She asked.
"Hmm," I mummed in question.
"To her. Did I go too far with what I said earlier? Am I just being 'dramatic' because of my mommy abandonment issues?" she asked.
"No." Rose turned to me in question. "I think were right and you did the right thing. I have read your file. I have seen the lack of visits from your mother and how Vasilissa's parents took you in like one of their own. She should have made more of an effort and she should have come to see you after the accident and after being brought back to the academy." I told her.
"How long has it been? Five years? Longer? Granted two of those years I had been away but even before that she never made an effort. She just dropped me on the academies doorstep and left me. I might as well have been an orphan like the other Dhampir who grew up here." Her words trailed off at the end into a whisper. My heart broke for her. I forgot about the rules and pulled her close to me. I wrapped my arms around her pulling her to my chest. She gripped my shirt tightly and I whispered loving words in Russian, kissing the top of her head lightly when I felt her squeeze my shirt. She didn't cry, she wouldn't let herself, but she was doing her best to keep her tears back.
There was nothing I could say that would make her feel better right now. It had been a very emotional day for her. I decided actions spoke louder than words, so I pulled her face up to mine and kissed her. She gasped in surprise but didn't push me away. Instead, she slowly melted into me. Her hands released my shirt and slid under my shirt, around my waist to my back where she ran her hands up and down, caressing the tense muscles in my back, instantly releasing all the tightness they held from training. My hands slid down her waist till I found the hem of her shirt and began to slowly tug. She pulled away from the kiss quickly but didn't move from our close tangles position.
"I thought you said we couldn't. Until after graduation?" I nodded.
"We can't." I said quietly leaning in and kissing her neck softly. She gasped holding back a moan.
"But-" she started, fighting to remain control. I started lifting her shirt again, still kissing her neck, lightly to make sure I did not leave a noticeable mark.
"we can't have sex, Roza. But there are plenty of other things we can do." With that, she melted back into me. I pulled her shirt higher and she pulled her hands from me, allowing me to take it off her. I was still stunned every time I saw her. She wore a simple cotton sports bra but on her, it looked like the most expensive lingerie. She turned away, blushing at her exposure as my eyes roamed over her. I pulled her chin up so our eyes would meet.
"you never have to be embarrassed with me," I told her. She smiled and my heart raced. Her finders trailed their way to my shirt and soon, that disappeared too, thrown to the other side of the room with hers.
We managed to refrain from going too far while still achieving pleasure. For Rose it was new, and she was unsure, but she was keen to try. I instructed her, the same way I did with training, and like everything else she does, she excelled. She was a very, very quick learner. After we finished, we lay on her bed, her chin on my chest smiling at me with dazzling dark eyes whilst I played with her dark locks, twisting them around my fingers.
"I'll take it training is cancelled?" she asked in a teasing tone. I smiled at her.
"I'd call this training. We can say we worked on flexibility and endurance," I said trying to match her teasing tone. She laughed lightly.
"I thought Moroi endorphins were the best feeling in the world. I was wrong. They don't come close to this," she said snuggling close to me. "Isn't this breaking your rules?" she asked after a moment of silence.
"More like bending them," I said.
"So, you're allowed to bend them, but we're not allowed to break them?" she asked.
"Believe me, there is nothing I would rather do then throw out the rule book, but I can't."
"Why not? I mean, technically we have already broken the rules. Twice." She said with a sly smile.
"I know. That night in the cabin was amazing. I would love nothing more than to do it again, but we can't."
"Why?" she asked again sounding concerned for me. "Just tell me Dimitri." Dimitri not Comrade? She was serious.
"You know I love you." I started and she nodded. "And we both know the plan that once you graduate and become the princess's guardian, I will find another charge so we can be together without putting her life in danger." Again, she nodded. We had talked about this and I knew she needed to be Vasilisa's guardian. Which mean, in order for us to be together, I would need to find another charge. But only after they are graduated, and Rose's position is secured. If it isn't and she ends up guarding another Moroi, I will stay with Vasilisa. "The reason we cannot be together like that night in the cabin is because I know if we do, I will never be able to stop."
"And that's a bad thing?" Rose asked.
"I'm addicted to you Roza. More addicted then a feeder to the Moroi bite. I already struggle to keep my control whenever you're around. If I give into you now, I won't be able to stop myself and our secret relationship wouldn't be so secret anymore. We have to wait. It's only a few months really and then we will both be free to give into one another without fear of being discovered and without care of what others might think. Please just wait for me Roza." I asked. My tone was pleading.
"So, this was a one off?" she asked. I laughed.
"We'll see. I need to keep my control Roza," I said. She nodded and folded herself back into my side.
"I understand," she said, and I knew she did. I kissed the top of her head. She fell asleep in my embrace.
I wanted to stay with her, but I knew I couldn't. I slowly slid myself free of her grip and got changed. I sent out a signal on my radio to make sure it was clear for me to leave without being seen and when it was confirmed I quickly wrote a note to Rose explaining why I didn't stay with her. I knew she understood why I couldn't, but I wanted her to know that I was not using her and that I loved her with all my heart. With one last kiss to her temple, which brought a small smile to her lips, I left and crossed over the snow-covered academy grounds, heading back to my room.
The sun was high in the sky signalling midday. I still had a few hours before I would meet Roza again for our morning training session. I didn't know how I was going to be able to keep my hands off her. I was almost at the guardian quarters when I heard a high pitched shrill.
"Dimka!" I froze and turned to the direction of the voice. Natasha Ozera stood a couple of meters away from me. She smiled and waved excitedly before making her way to me. I quickly put on a fake smile to mask my exhaustion and annoyance of being kept from my awaiting bed. When she reached me, she pulled me into a tight hug that surprised me.
"Hello Tasha," I said wrapping my arms around her in a friendly embrace.
"It's so good to see a familiar friendly face," she said pulling back from me. Her face lit up in delight causing her ice-blue eyes to sparkle.
"What has brought you to the academy?" I asked with a light tone to my words.
"I am here to spend Christmas with Christian and his new girlfriend." I had forgotten that Tasha was Christian's aunt.
"That's nice. Vasilisa is lovely. Christian is very lucky." I said. I wanted to finish this conversation quickly so I could get some much-needed sleep.
"Yes, he is." She said. "What about you? Have you finally found yourself a lady?" she asked. My first reaction was to say yes and spill everything about Rose, but I bit my tongue sharply and swallowed down the words I longed to shout to the whole world.
"You know me Tasha, duty comes first. I'm too busy to date." I said.
"They have you working too hard. They can't keep a man on duty twenty-four seven." She said.
"Well actually it's not the shifts that take up most of my time. I am training a student. Rose Hathaway. She is Vasilissa's best friend and future guardian making her my future guarding partner," I said.
"That seems unfair. Giving you the responsibility of training a student." She said.
"I volunteered. I couldn't let another Dhampir guardian go to waste. Especially a female." She nodded.
"Agreed. We need as many guardians as possible. You always look after the needs of other before yourself. You need time to yourself to take care of your needs too." 'If only you knew' I thought.
"Maybe one day but right now, Rose needs me." She nodded. "Anyway, I have to get some sleep before my morning training session with Rose." I said.
"Okay, maybe I could come by and watch sometime." She said. I though back to this morning.
"That would be great but maybe another time. She should get to know you first," I said hoping that would be a good enough reason for Tasha to not stop by tomorrow.
"Of course. Well goodnight Dimka. If you need me, I'm staying in the old guardian Cabin," she said pointing off into the distance.
"Not a guest room?" I asked.
"I don't think I'd welcome there." I nodded in understanding. Despite being royal, her family name was tarnished, and she was constantly judged for her family's decisions that gave her the scar on her face.
"Good night, Tasha," I said and walked away, back to my room where I fell onto my bed and fell asleep instantly. My dreams filled with images of Rose.