Thank you for the support last chapter!
Chapter 3
Beca groans slightly, shifting in her bed underneath the comforter, her arm subconsciously pulling Macy closer into her side. It isn't until a soft whimper reaches her ear, does she realize the reason why she was woken up.
With her eyes fluttering open, Beca's sight takes its time to adjust to the darkness of the bedroom as she glances down at her baby sister. Macy's eyes are scrunched closed, her mouth pulled into a frown, as she trembles slightly.
Immediately identifying what is happening, Beca turns so that she is fully facing her sister, propping herself up on her elbow. Beca runs her hand down Macy's arms, her heart shattering into a million pieces as a sob escapes Macy's mouth.
"Hey, Macy… wake up, munch." She brushes her fingers against Macy's forehead, a think sheen of sweat starting to form, and combs through her curls. Her sister's body is shaking beside Beca's own, not being able to wake herself from the movie playing in her mind. "Mace… Come on, kiddo. Open your eyes for me."
Macy takes a shuddering breath, the inhale hitching slightly as her eyes fly open, her body jolting awake. Beca offers her a small smile, her sister's teary eyes looking up at her as she runs her hand through Macy's curls once more. "You're okay… you're safe."
Hot tears start to stream down Macy's face as her quick breathing is overcome with sobs. She wraps her hands in Beca's baggy sleeping shirt, clinging to her as Beca pulls the twelve-year-old into her chest. Beca holds her tighter, allowing the girl to tuck her head under Beca's chin, and whispering words of comfort into the room, not knowing whether or not Macy can even hear them.
Beca had been hoping that they were going to make it through the night. They had a great afternoon with CR at Fig's, and they had a normal dinner with Jack. When Beca had started her homework, Macy came into the bedroom and laid beside her, falling asleep rather quickly. By midnight, she was still sleeping and hadn't woken up once, so when Beca pushed her books to the side and went to sleep herself, she had allowed herself to think that maybe, just maybe, tonight would be the night.
Now, looking at the neon green '2:30 AM' shining at her from the other side of the room, she realizes that her hopes were in vain.
Beca places a light kiss on her little sister's head, wishing that she could take all the pain away. It's not fair that she has to deal with this shit at twelve. The often-crippling anxiety, the panic attacks, the nightmares, the moving, all of it. It's not fair to her. Not when other twelve-year-olds are worrying about what to wear and wondering whose house they're going to have a sleepover at that weekend.
It takes a while for Macy's crying to calm down, but when her sobs subside into softer sniffles, Beca pulls away slightly, trying to catch her little sister's eye. "Wanna talk about it?"
Beca's never been one to talk about her feelings. At one point, Meghan made both her and Macy see a therapist and Beca hated it with every bone in her body. For the five sessions, she sat with her arms crossed on the couch, not saying a single word for the forty-five minutes. In her opinion, there's no reason for her to have to talk about what she's feeling when she can process it just fine in her head.
But for Macy, Beca knows that the thoughts often get so clustered that she can't make sense of them. That not talking often leads to more anxiety, and, in this case, more nightmares. If Beca can help Macy work through some of the things she saw, she'll gladly do it.
Who is she kidding? She'd do anything for this girl.
For as guarded, and quiet, and closed off as Beca is with other people, all of that crumbles away when it comes to Macy. She acts that way mostly for protection – if people can't get close, no one can get hurt – but with Macy, the one person who means the world to Beca, she's all the little girl has. She is her mom, and dad, and older sister, all wrapped up in one small, five-foot-two-inch person. And, while most of the time Beca feels as though she's failing, it doesn't stop the fact that she is trying her hardest day in and day out to try and give Macy some semblance of a normal childhood.
Macy shakes her head, curling tighter into her sister's frame. The pictures are still fresh in her mind and she can't even fathom putting it into words.
"No, Mace…" Beca taps her lightly, "Come on, I know you. What's going on?"
Macy tugs on Beca's shirt as she holds it tighter. "Please. I don't want to talk about it."
Beca runs another hand through her sister's hair. "Okay. It's okay. Just close your eyes and try to fall back asleep. I'm right here."
Beca's head hangs above her desk in English, her fingers interlocked behind her head and her chestnut curls creating a curtain that no one can see through. She's been in the classroom for a little less than five minutes, only after she had to practically rip herself from Macy's hold. It took her about an hour to fall back asleep last night, and even then, the sleep was restless and not deep in the slightest.
So, needless to say, the exhaustion is catching up to her.
This goes unnoticed by the effervescent redhead, however, who bounds into English that morning, thrilled as ever to see the brunette already sitting at her desk. She plops down beside her, a grin already on her face. "Good morning!"
Beca doesn't even need to look up to know who's beside her. She waves half-heartedly, not even lifting her head.
The brunette's obvious reluctance to talk to her causes Chloe's excitement to falter slightly, but she tries again, determined to get some sort of reaction. "How was your night?"
The question is the same one that Chloe asked the day before, but Beca is not about to fall into her trap again. She sits up slightly, pushing her curls behind her ears, and fiddling with one of her earrings slightly, before glancing at the redhead. She doesn't want to have a conversation, and she certainly doesn't have the energy, but how can she not when the Chloe is sitting there, staring at her, with those eyes? "It was fine. You?"
Chloe happily shrugs, proud of herself for making the quiet girl speak. "It was alright. My mom and I made popovers for dessert when she got home from work, so that was pretty fun."
It takes everything in Beca not to scoff. Must be nice.
Chloe confuses Beca more than anyone she has ever met at any of the other schools she's attended. Normally, the sacrificial lamb that a teacher, or the dean, or a guidance counselor pairs her with, wants to get away from her as soon as possible. Beca doesn't understand why – what with her charming demeanor and all (kidding, kidding) – but she can't seem to shake Chloe. In fact, it's almost as if the longer she's been at Barden, the more and more Chloe is trying to engage with her.
And Beca can't decide whether or not it's a good thing or a bad thing.
It's not like Chloe doesn't seem nice. Beca would argue to say she seems like one of the nicest people she's ever met. But, with niceness, there's often an increased risk of people trying to find out the things Beca has worked so hard to keep a secret. Then, there's the added caveat that if she were to, say, become friends with Chloe, she'd just be one more person she'd have to say goodbye to when she and Macy leave.
It's inevitable, and it sucks, but that's life. So, best to just keep to herself.
Not knowing what else to say, Beca sinks deeper into her desk, fiddling with the row of bracelets on her wrist. There are only a few of them, but the most important one is the lighter band in the center, the same one that Macy has around her own wrist. They serve their purpose of being a perfect distraction when she doesn't have anywhere else to look. Even with a certain redhead staring at her.
Stacie and Aubrey eventually make their way into the classroom, each of them taking their seats and making light conversation with Chloe. Aubrey doesn't really address the brunette, but Stacie offers her a quiet "Hi, Beca," before answering Chloe's question about some show that was on TV last night. With the course of the conversation being simple and rather mundane, Beca is very glad to just sit there and take it all in, with no one seeming to want to bring her into it. That is until Mr. Harrington makes his way to the front of the room.
"Alright, folks, happy Wednesday. Let's take our seats and get started, shall we?" Reluctantly, Beca lifts her eyes from her clasped hands. Her brain is still fuzzy with exhaustion, and she doubts she'll be paying attention for much longer but figures she should at least try. "If everyone could take out their copy of Death of a Salesman and the assignment from last night, that'd be great."
A quiet ripple moves through the class as people reach into their bags to pull out the small hardcover. Last night they were supposed to read the second act and write a short summary about it, which Beca did while she was half asleep.
Mr. Harrington clears his throat, moving to the other side of the room and handing a stack of papers to the student in the corner, instructing him to start passing them down. "What you're about to get is a mini project due a week from today. You're going to be working in groups to develop a creative way to show a character chart for each of the characters in the play."
Beca's heart stops in her chest. Of course, there would be a group project assigned only three days after she started at the school.
"You can pick your groups but limit them to three to four people."
As if Mr. Harrington flipped a switch, everyone in the class starts turning to their friends, clearing schedules, and claiming partners just like normal high school students do. Beca, on the other hand, can't keep her leg from bouncing up and down, figuring that she can just join someone's group last minute. That's what she's always done, and it's worked in the past…
A brief tap on her shoulder causes Beca to flinch, looking at the person with an accusatory glare before her expression softens at the sight of Chloe, whose finger still lays slightly above Beca's shoulder. "Do you want to work with us?"
"Um…" All three of the girls are watching her carefully, waiting – and almost daring her – to say no. "Sure. Thanks."
Chloe grins. "Great!" She looks to her friends for their affirmations before continuing. "We can do it at my place on Saturday afternoon."
Woah. Hold up. "Can't we just work on it at school?" There's no way that she can bring Macy to Chloe's house, and she sure as hell isn't going to invite the trio over to Jack's. Plus, leaving Macy alone for however many hours just doesn't seem possible at this point.
Aubrey's eyebrows crinkle in confusion, "How would you like us to do that?"
Beca's eyes widen at the snark behind the blonde's comment but realizes that she really doesn't have an answer. Lunch is only forty-five minutes long, and it's not like they have poster boards and glue sticks readily in their possession. That doesn't stop the fact that Beca still has no idea how she's supposed to go over to a random house when she has her sister to take care of.
Before she can say anything else, though, Aubrey speaks again, effectively ending any and all discussion about the plans. "Your house sounds great, Chlo."
The conversation from English doesn't leave Beca for the rest of the day, the lectures spilling from her teachers' mouths being overpowered by the raging thought of having to go over Chloe's house this coming Saturday.
She could just not show up, that is always an option. Of course, she wouldn't just have to face the wrath of Mr. Harrington, but also the three other members of her group (and something tells her that Aubrey would be the least forgiving of them). And she really doesn't want to see Chloe's reaction if she doesn't pull her weight.
If Beca had to guess, Chloe has a pretty convincing puppy-dog pout and can make a person feel guilty a mile away.
But, it's not just her three classmates to worry about. In the grand scheme of things, they are the least of her problems. Macy can't even make it through the school day without coming and looking for Beca (although, she still hasn't seen her today so that trend might be coming to an end). How is she supposed to spend a few hours away from her, when she isn't even in the same building? It doesn't paint a very pretty picture in Beca's mind, and she certainly doesn't want to set Macy back even further than she already has.
Beca refocuses, jotting down one of the bullet points about the French Revolution into her notebook before Mrs. Cooper has a chance to change the PowerPoint. Out of all of the schools she's been to, and all of the classes she's taken, history has always given her the most trouble. She can remember the dates, but the actual information surrounding said dates often slips her mind, even after going over it again and again.
Beside her, Chloe too has her attention on the notebook, but instead of writing down the notes, she's drawing purple doodles in the margins of the paper. She can't bring herself to listen to the squawkiness of Mrs. Cooper's voice and actually decipher what she's saying. Not with Beca sitting right beside her and reminding her over and over again about their brief exchange this morning.
It's not like Chloe is a fan of group projects. There's always one person who ends up doing all of the work, and oftentimes, it's just easier to do the work herself. But a group project where you get to pick your group members, in a class with your best friends? That's a perfect combination. And, while she understands that Beca's still relatively new, it's not like Chloe is a complete stranger to her at this point. It seems to Chloe, that Beca should have been at least a little excited, especially because the brunette didn't even have to search for a group.
But no, of course, that wasn't the case. Instead, Beca looked mildly terrified at the thought and – very obviously – does not have any interest in coming over to Chloe's house on Saturday. Even though Chloe may hold the ulterior motive of wanting to learn more about the brunette, she still doesn't understand why Beca doesn't seem at least a little excited to be making friends.
Isn't that what people normally want to do when they transfer schools?
"Miss Beale?"
Chloe's eyes shoot up to the front of the room, only to find that everyone in the classroom, including her teacher, is staring in her direction. Heat rises to Chloe's cheeks, not having heard the question and definitely not knowing the answer. There's only one way out of this situation, and Chloe would much rather minimize the embarrassment than make it worse. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Cooper, could you repeat the question please?"
The older woman glares at her over the brims of her glasses. "We were discussing the major causes of the French Revolution. Perhaps you could give us one?"
Chloe gulps, racking her brain for any information that might've stuck from last night's homework. "Um… the teachings of the Enlightenment were a big one, right?"
Mrs. Cooper grunts, not necessarily disagreeing with her student, but also not praising her correct answer. "Next time, make sure you're paying attention please."
Offering her teacher a meek smile, Chloe sinks a little lower in her chair. Only ten minutes left and then she'll have seventh period with Stace.
"Okay, so, as I was saying… the French Revolution began in the late 1780s and had a variety of causing factors. Some were political, some were economic, and some were international." Mrs. Cooper switches the slide again but doesn't have the chance to continue when a sharp knock on the door resounds through the classroom.
Like all high schoolers, everyone is intrigued by who is at the door, their heads turning in the direction of the knock as Mrs. Cooper shuffles along the linoleum. From where she's sitting, Chloe can't see who it is, but when Mrs. Cooper comes back into the classroom with a yellow pass, she knows that it was just a runner for guidance.
"Miss Mitchell, Mrs. Abernathy would like to see you in her office. Please pack your things and read the next textbook chapter for homework tonight."
Chloe's red curls flip over her shoulder as she turns to look at Beca, who couldn't look more confused. Her eyebrows are furrowed slightly, and her pencil still dangles loosely in her hand, wondering whether or not it's a joke. She eventually snaps out of her daze and throws her notebook into her bag – which looks like it's seen better days – and she quickly leaves her seat, heading down the hall toward the guidance office without saying anything to Chloe.
The redhead tries not to be upset about that.
The guidance office isn't too far away from Beca's history class, so it's only a few minutes before she's walking into the row of offices that she had first seen a few mornings ago. As much as she appreciates an excuse to not be in class, a meeting with a counselor is not at the top of her list of other opportunities.
Mrs. Abernathy's door is already open, so all Beca can do is knock lightly with the back of her knuckle, peeking her head around the corner as she does so. The counselor is sitting with her attention solely on the computer in front of her, her blonde hair pulled back like it was on Monday, with a gray pantsuit covering her body. She looks up briefly, her grin widening as she sees Beca standing in the doorway.
"Beca! Please come in!"
Gripping the straps of her bag, Beca hesitantly makes her way over to the chairs. Her heart is pounding just as much as it was on Monday, except, this time, she can't focus her nervous energy on Macy. She's on her own.
Mrs. Abernathy folds her hands in front of her, looking at the brunette expectantly. "So? How have your first couple of days been?"
Beca tries her hardest not to let her face into an incredulous expression. Seriously? This is what she wants to talk about? Instead, she wipes her sweaty palms on her hand. "They've been fine."
"That's great!" The woman exclaims, startling Beca slightly. "How are your classes? Enjoying your teachers?"
Beca shrugs. "They're fine."
Mrs. Abernathy's excitement doesn't waver. "Good, good. Have you been adjusting alright?"
She's starting to sound a lot like Meghan. The social worker is always asking her and Macy how they're "adjusting" after placing them in a foster home that is less than desirable. "Yeah, it's been good."
Mrs. Abernathy pauses, not appreciating the short answers that really aren't revealing any information her student's current state. "And what about Macy? Is she doing alright?"
Beca is sure that the counselor means well, but she doesn't appreciate the third degree. "Macy's fine."
Overhead, the bell rings signaling the end of sixth period. Beca's last period of the day is Italian, which is the only class she has without Chloe or her friends. Thinking that the meeting is over, she starts to stand from the chair, but the blonde stops her with another question. "Has Chloe been showing you around to your classes? Have you had any problems finding anything?"
Beca slowly sits back down. "She's been really helpful."
"That's great! You know…"
As Mrs. Abernathy continues to talk Beca's ear off, fully aware that the girl is missing class, Stacie approaches her red-headed best friend in the hallway. Chloe is focused on her phone but smiles as soon as Stacie comes into view. "Hey, Stace!"
They loop arms, starting the short walk towards their seventh period, Stacie automatically noticing the perplexed look on Chloe's face. She's biting her lip and her eyebrows are scrunched. But what Stacie is acutely aware of, is that the brunette that Chloe has been obsessing over, is nowhere to be found."I figured you'd be waiting with Beca."
Chloe shakes her head. She hasn't seen her since she left the classroom. "She got a pass to guidance and never came back."
Stacie turns her nose up at the statement. No one goes to Mrs. Abernathy unless they're forced. That lady is crazy. "Weird."
They walk a few more steps, pushing through the crowd of high schoolers when Stacie stops abruptly. Standing a few feet in front of them isn't Beca, but the girl that she had seen Beca go out into the hallway for yesterday during physics. If Barden wasn't grades 6-12, Stacie would've thought that the girl couldn't be older then eight or nine. Not only is she short – Beca isn't the tallest either – but she's skinny and just all-around tiny. And, compared to the other high school seniors, she looks even smaller.
Chloe looks over to Stacie, confused as to what stopped their progress to class. "What's wrong?"
"That's the girl that was outside of physics yesterday."
Chloe's eyes widen. "Beca's sister?" Taking a closer look at where Stacie is pointing, Chloe realizes she didn't even have to confirm. The small brunette is almost the spitting image of her sister, right down to the way she's fiddling with a bracelet around her wrist.
Before Stacie can stop her, Chloe leaves her side, quickly approaching the little girl even after Stacie tries to protest. "Chlo, wait!"
Ignoring the warning, Chloe makes her way to the girl standing in the middle of the hallway, looking frantically around at the crowd. Some of Chloe's classmates are watching her carefully but no one saying anything. "Hi, kiddo."
Macy freezes, looking up with wide eyes at the redhead, her heart stopping. She didn't mean to get caught in the middle of the period transition, but when she went to see Beca in her history class and didn't see her, she couldn't just stop looking for her. Before she knew it, the bell was ringing, and she was surrounded by upperclassmen.
But Beca's nowhere to be found. Anywhere.
"Are you looking for Beca?"
Macy wrings her hands together, her breathing becoming strained, and the pressure in her chest growing. She can't see Beca and Beca said she wasn't going anywhere. She promised. But she's not there.
Chloe looks worriedly down at small brunette, not knowing what's going on. She isn't making eye contact and she isn't answering her questions. Stacie moves to stand hesitantly beside Chloe, waiting for her friend to take the lead.
Chloe tries again. "Sweetie, are you looking for Beca?"
Macy runs her hand through her hair, clutching at the roots of her curls and feeling a slight relief by the pain it causes. She turns around again, trying to pull as much air in through her nose as she can.
"What's wrong with her?"
Chloe shrugs, kneeling down in front of Beca's sister and placing her hands tentatively on her shoulders. Macy flinches our of her grasp, tears starting to spill down her cheeks.
Still not knowing the girl's name, Chloe looks around once more for her sister before saying, "Beca's in the guidance office. She should be back soon."
Macy pauses slightly, finally taking in the older girl standing in front of her. The pair of piercing blue eyes are filled with concern, and a worried frown is stretched across her lips. It takes a minute for her words to register with Macy, but when she does, the racing in her mind stills for a brief moment. "What?"
The final bell rings through the hallway with the last few people slipping into their classroom, but Chloe and Stacie don't move from their position. "Beca is in the guidance office. She got a pass last period."
With her hands still shaking, Macy grips the straps of her bag, still not sure what exactly is going on. On any normal occasion, she wouldn't be talking to two random girls from the high school. In fact, that is the last thing she would do.
She repeats Chloe's statement as if trying to process the words herself. "Beca's in the guidance office?"
Chloe nods. There's something about the little girl that makes Chloe just want to wrap her in her arms and hold onto her forever. Whether or not it's partially because she reminds her so much of Beca, Chloe isn't sure, but there's something special about both girls. That much she is certain about. "She is. Do you want me to take you there?"
Macy looks up and down the hallway once more, keenly aware of how closely the two teenagers are watching her. Beca's in the guidance office. She's still in school. She hasn't left. Macy takes another deep breath, her racing heart stabilizing and her tears drying against her skin. Beca's okay. "Um… no. Thank you."
Chloe quirks her head to the side. "Are you sure? I don't mind."
The small brunette just shakes her head, muttering, "No. Thank you.," before turning back towards the middle school wing and leaving two very confused senior girls in her wake.
Beca's heart swells with pride when she sees Macy coming out of the building after dismissal. Her sister made it through the day without coming and looking for her, something that Beca wasn't sure when it was going to end. She grins, waving slightly when Macy's within earshot. "Hey, Mace!"
Macy, on the other hand, keeps her eyes focused on the ground in front of her, walking right past her sister without a word.
Beca watches with wide eyes as Macy blows past her, continuing in the direction of the crosswalk. It takes her a moment to snap out of her confusion before she's in hot pursuit. "Wait! Kid, where are you going?"
Although Beca's short stature would normally be a disadvantage in any sort of race, her legs are still longer than her sister's, giving her an advantage in this chase in particular. She catches up to Macy, grasping onto her shoulder and stopping her from walking any further. "Macy, what's wrong?"
The twelve-year-old turns around, her eyes already filling with tears. "You weren't there!"
Beca kneels down in front of her sister, confusion and worry covering her face. "What are you talking about?"
Breaking away from her sister's grasp, Macy crosses her hands over her chest. "You weren't there, Beca! In history! I didn't know where you went!" After Macy had left Chloe and Stacie in the hallway, she tried returning to her own class, but couldn't bring herself to do it. She wanted to prove to herself that she was going to be okay without Beca, so she didn't go in search of her, but she did try calming herself down in one of the back stairwells until the final bell rang.
Beca's jaw drops open slightly as she realizes what Macy is saying. She had, in fact, gone in search of Beca. And, sure enough, when she did, Beca wasn't where she said she was going to be. "Mace…"
"No!" Macy angrily wipes a tear off her cheek. "You lied to me! You said you were going to be in history, and you weren't!"
Beca tries to reach out to the twelve-year-old again, but Macy takes a step back, staying just far enough away that Beca can't touch her. "I didn't lie to you, kiddo, I got a pass from guidance and had to go to Mrs. Abernathy's office. I am so sorry."
Macy's lip trembles, her voice coming out as barely a whisper. "I thought you were gone."
Pushing herself up off the ground, Beca moves fast enough so that Macy can't avoid her any longer. She wraps the younger girl in her arms, trying not to completely lose it as she feels Macy's tears soak into her shirt. "I'm so sorry, Mace… "
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