~ DIMITRI POV ~
Tasha's gathering was lovely. I could see the renovations she had made to the old cabin, but I didn't see it as an improvement as she did. To me, the cabin was perfect the way it was because it was where Rose, and I had shared our special moment together that neither of us would ever forget. Sure, it looked more modern and liveable now, but it lacked the quality that made the cabin feel special. I was just glad Roza and I could have had our moment before the cabin had changed.
Lunch was delicious. The food was so much better than anything on the campus. I shouldn't have been surprised. Tasha was Royal after all and, no matter how outcast she was, being royal Moroi came with some privileges. It took all of my control to keep my face straight and a moan down my throat when Rose touched my leg under the table. I hadn't realised just how much I missed the contact with her. I held her hand. The skin to skin contact with her made me want to take her away to somewhere private and ravish her until neither of us could move. Then, her mother walked in and the mood vanished. Both of us sprang away, knowing the keen eyes of Guardian Janine Hathaway wouldn't miss anything, no matter how subtle.
I was still shocked about what Rose had told me last night. How Janine had told her she failed. I understood why Janine did it and was glad to know it worked. But what if it didn't? How many novices missed out on becoming guardians because they thought they failed and weren't strong enough to stand up to a powerful guardian. Rose had no problem in that department. She is more mature and can control her outbursts...most of the time, but if someone ever tries to keep her from what she wants, Rose will not hesitate to fight them. I could only hope the Queen never tries to stand between Rose and Lissa, or Rose might be on trial for Treason. Or maybe not. My Roza is too smart to be caught.
After lunch, I wanted nothing more than to take Rose away somewhere private, but Tasha had other ideas. She pulled me away, suggesting we take a walk and chat. As a Royal and the Hostess of the gathering, I couldn't say no. She was also an old friend and it made sense that she wanted to catch up. I looked back and met Janine's stare. Through her eyes, I could tell what she wanted. We had talked about her connecting with Rose and she wanted a moment alone with her daughter. I shot Roza a sorry look and walked off with Tasha. I just hoped Janine would heed my warning and not push Roza too far.
"Thank you for inviting me to the gathering," I said to Tasha as we began our walk. I suggested walking the ward line so we could chat while I could keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Since it was discovered that the Badica wards were pierced with a stake, more guardians had been assigned to the ward lines but still, you could never be too careful."
"Thank you for coming. I know you've been working hard here. It's a wonder you had any time off at all."
"I've been busy, but I'm glad. I like having something to do."
"You're definitely working a lot more than you did with Ivan." His name still struck a nerve and I flinched slightly. Tasha noticed. "I'm sorry, Dimka. I didn't mean-" she started but I cut her off.
"No, it's alright. It was different with Ivan. He had two guardians and he was only one person. The academy had hundreds of students and guardians but each one of us had to do our part to keep the students safe and the academy protected," I said turning back to the wards. Tasha stayed silent for a moment before she spoke again.
"Would you want to go back to guarding a single Moroi or a small family?" she asked.
"In a few months, I will be guarding Princess Vasilisa with Rose. But in the meantime, I want to help out in any way I can. Yes, it is a lot of work but it's only for a short time and it gives me purpose."
"Rose does seem very dedicated to Lissa," started Tasha. I smiled to myself thinking about Roza. "But think about it," she said placing her hand on my shoulder to get my attention. My mental images of Rose vanished, and I turned to Tasha. "Lissa is the Dragomir Princess. The last of her line. The job will only be more full-on, and dangerous, than working here. I know you can handle it. And with a star student like Rose, I know the princess would be in safe hands. But wouldn't you like to have something a little closer to normality? A charge that would allow you to relax and settle down?" I thought about it for a moment. I imagined a small cosy house, like my home back in Baia. The roaring fire, the cinnamon smell and Roza waiting for me with a sweet smile on her face. It was a beautiful dream. One that I knew would probably never come true. We are guardians and we know our duty.
"It would be nice," I said with a small smile which quickly vanished as the fantasy broke and I was reminded of my duty. "But it is impossible."
"Why is it impossible?" she asked placing a gentle hand of my arm, stopping me from walking and pulling me to face her.
"Because I am a guardian. Vasilissa's guardian. I have a duty and responsibility to protect her," I said, confused as to where Tasha was leading this conversation.
"It wouldn't be impossible if you had a charge who would give you the freedom to live your own life. A charge who could protect him or herself. A charge who would give you the freedom to choose your own life. Settle down, have a family." Her words sprung images in my mind. What she was saying was exactly what I had hoped for when Rose graduated. A new charge, like Tasha, was suggesting, who would be tolerant about my race and allow my relationship with another dhampir even though it goes against our society's beliefs. A charge who wouldn't rely on me to guard them at all times and allow me to live my own life with Rose. If I could find a Royal Moroi like that, it would be perfect. All my worries would vanish.
"I wish Royal Moroi like that existed in our society," I said with a small laugh. Tasha frowned.
"One does." I gave her a questioning look and she fluttered her eyelashes, beaming me a bright smile. "Me." My eyes widened as I began to realise the true meaning behind her words. "I like you, Dimitri, as more than a friend. I have for a while, but you never really seemed to notice me. You were guarding Ivan, your best friend so I knew I couldn't ask you to leave him and after he was killed, you were so grief-stricken, I knew I couldn't bring it up then but now… I can see you have healed. You love guarding but you are overworking yourself guarding the princess."
"Tasha I-" I started but she cut me off.
"I think you should guard me. It would be perfect. You know I can protect myself. I know we have been friends for a long time, but maybe if we spent more time together, with you as my guardian, our relationship could grow into something more from that. We could move back to Russia to be near your family, settle down together, maybe even start a family" my eyes widened. I couldn't believe what she was offering me. A life, a wife, a family. It was all I had wanted; the only problem was that Tasha was not the one I wanted that life with. I didn't know what to say. Tasha stared at me waiting for a response, but I couldn't speak.
When I didn't say anything, Tasha sighed and leant up to kiss me. I was stunned, like a deer in headlights and I couldn't move or push her away.
"Just think about it and get back to me when you have decided." She walked away, leaving me frozen. I didn't know how long I stayed there but so many thoughts were racing through my mind and I didn't care. I knew my first priority was to go to Rose. I had to see Rose. I took off on the familiar trek to her dorm. Tasha's words and the kiss played over and over on an endless cycle as I made my way up the stairs to Rose's door.
I felt so guilty for what had happened, and I knew I had to tell Rose right away. She deserved to know the truth. She needed to hear it from me in person right now. I waited a moment outside her door thinking over what I would say before I knocked. A second later, Rose answered. She didn't look angry or frustrated which was a good sign. I guess the talk with her mother went better than I had expected. I released a breath and felt my body relax slightly.
"Dimitri?" she asked. She sounded but confused but happy at the same time. I swallowed and looked around to make sure it was clear, even though I knew she occupied the only room on the second floor of the female Dhampir dorm at this time. Rose had told me earlier that the only other female novice had left the academy to spend the holidays with her grandfather. I knew what Rose was suggesting when she revealed that information. She was hoping for some time for us. I was also looking forward to sharing the holidays with Roza but now, I was worried. I just hoped what I was about to say, wouldn't break her heart.
"Can I come in?" I asked. She smiled and stepped aside, allowing me to enter. The door clicked behind me as I made my way to sit on the end of her made bed.
"I wasn't expecting a visit tonight," Rose started as she walked over to me and joined me on the bed. "Don't get me wrong, Comrade, I'm happy to see you, I just thought you'd still be busy catching up with Tasha." The mention of her name sent another wave of guilt over me. When I didn't answer, I felt Rose stiffen with worry. She quickly moved off the bed and came to sit on her knees in front me with a gentle hand placed on my knee and a concerned look in her deep brown eyes. "What's wrong Dimitri?" I placed my hand on top of Rose's and laced our fingers together tightly.
"I have something to tell you," I started.
"Then tell me something," she said with a small smile, but the worry was still shining behind her eyes. I didn't know where to start or how I should tell her what had happened. I just had to tell her, from the beginning. I took a deep breath, mustering up all of my years of Guardian training on how to deliver the facts without emotional attachment, and started.
"Tasha has offered me a position, as her guardian." Rose's eyes widened. Clearly, this was not what she was expecting.
"What?" she said. I replayed my earlier conversation with Tasha from the beginning but kept out the parts about Tasha's benefits to the position. When I was done, Rose's face lit up as a smile spread across her lips.
"Dimitri, this is perfect. Tasha is Christian's aunt so as long as Christian and Lissa are together, which I'm guessing will be a very long time, Tasha will always be close." Rose jumped up to her feet and paced back and forth in front of me. Her hands raked through her hair as she pictured the fantasy images Tasha had promised me. "Lissa told me how she was thinking of us moving down and going to college near Tasha, so she can be with Christian as he will be going to stay with her after Graduation. Comrade, this is it. This is the solution!"
I could feel her excitement. To Rose, this was the answer to all our problems. This was the key that would unlock the door to our relationship and allow us to be open and free. To me, this was a problem.
"Rose, wait." I took her hand and pulled her to sit beside me. "There's more to this offer." Rose's smile faded as I shared the rest of the details. I could see that flame of happiness extinguishing with every word that left my lips and, in its place, arose a blaze of hot burning rage.
"Well, I definitely didn't see that coming. I mean it is a great offer and one most guardian never get. A family while guarding. Sounds pretty perfect. But I thought you guys were just old friends?"
"Apparently, Tasha has always wanted more than a friendship between us," I said, rubbing light circles on Rose's palm with my thumb.
"She likes you," Rose said without question or hesitation. I looked into her eyes with a questioning expression. She rolled her beautiful brown eyes. "It was kind of obvious Comrade. The way she looked at you, always wanted to be close to you, and a swear she swooned when you spoke." Rose giggled, pushing back a strand of my hair. I smiled. Of course, she noticed. Everyone probably noticed. I was the only one who was oblivious of Tasha's feelings for me.
"Well, it wasn't that obvious to me. She caught me completely off guard when she explained her offer. I was even more shocked and surprised when she kissed me-" Rose jumped to her feet.
"She kissed you?" Oh no. I had let it slip and there was no way to take it back now. Rose was fuming. All that control that she had built up over the last few weeks shattered like glass. "She'd better hope that she is good at fighting, cause I'm gonna kick her ass! I don't care that she's royal. By the time I'm done with her, that scar of hers will be the only thing left undamaged!" Rose took off toward the door. I raced up and moved to block her from reaching the door.
"Dimitri, move," she all but growled. I pulled her around until I had her restrained with her back against me.
"I can't let you attack her," I whispered in her ear as she continued to struggle against me.
"Let me go! She deserves it!" Rose wiggled, trying to break free of my grasp.
"Think about it, Rose. She doesn't know about us. No one knows." Rose stopped struggling as she came to understand my words. Our relationship was a secret. To everyone else, Rose and I were single and available. In their eyes, they have done nothing wrong.
"You're right," Rose sighed and relaxed in my grip. We stayed like that for a moment. I realised the position we were in, with Rose's body tightly pulled against my own. This was a dangerous position, yet, I couldn't pull away. I reluctantly released Rose and hoped she wouldn't try to break out of the room again. She slowly walked over to the bed and collapsed face down on top of it. I shook my head at her and walked to join her.
"Roza," I started. She turned her head to look at me. I brushed a stray strand of her luscious locks away from her face and kissed her lips gently. She melted into the kiss and my heart raced. Everything fell into place and it felt as if all of the problems in the universe simply faded away as our lips met. Kissing Rose was the best feeling in the world. Nothing could compare. I pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes.
"I'm not taking Tasha's offer," I said strongly so Rose knew I meant it. Her eyes widened.
"What? But that was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have a baby. And she ... she's, you know, into you..."
"That's why I have to say no. I can't return that...can't give her what she wants. Because my heart belongs to someone else. You. I love you Roza and I can't…I won't give you up for anyone or anything."
Rose's eyes glistened with unshed tears, but she was too strong and stubborn to let them fall.
"What about that kiss?" she asked quietly. I cupped her face in my hands.
"All that kiss did was reassure me that I have no feelings for any woman but you. You are the only woman for me." She smiled and we both leant in, meeting in another deep and passionate kiss.
Kissing Roza made my heart thump so hard against my ribs that I felt as if it would burst free of my chest and join Roza's. That was the difference. When Tasha kissed me, I felt nothing but guilt and shame. When I kissed Rose, I felt complete as if our kiss was the last piece of the puzzle being put in place. It felt right.
It took all of my strength and control to keep us from breaking my one rule but thankfully we didn't. it was getting harder and harder to keep my control with Rose. I couldn't wait for the time when I would be able to let go of my control and give her everything. Rose understood as she always did, she never ceased to surprise me. Rose took charge, remembering all we had done the last time I was in her room. I gladly replayed the favour and when we finished, we lay together under the covers of her small bed. Rose's head lay on my chest and she sighed as I played with her hair, silently praying that she would never cut it as the other female guardians do.
I should have left, but I didn't want to, especially after the emotional rollercoaster that came after the gathering. I dug my hand deeper into her hair and was surprised to find a silver chain concealed within the mass of her hair. I ran the chain through my fingers wondering if I had seen this before.
"What's this?" I asked. Rose turned herself to face me leaning on her elbows with the sheet wrapped around her. She pulled eye pendant dangling from the chain off her collarbones for me to examine.
"My mother gave this to me today. She said she was given it by someone special who would want me to have it. Maybe an aunt or grandmother." She said.
"Or maybe your father?" I suggested knowing that Rose was purposely avoiding him as an option.
"Perhaps," she shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It is a nice Christmas present from my mother, that's how I choose to see it." I didn't argue with her. Maybe Rose would never know her father. It might be for the best if he is anything like my father.
"So, I take it the talk with her went well?" I asked, changing the topic. Rose smiled as she lay her chin on her hands looking up at me.
"Surprisingly yes. She told me she wants to be a better mom and be a part of my life." I was a little surprised to hear that. What was even more surprising was the happy expression on Roza's face. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"And you're going to let her?" I asked. Rose sighed but nodded.
"I'm tired of fighting her. I want my mom in my life and if she is ready to be there for me and work to build a better relationship with me than I am all for it. I have felt Lissa's pain of losing her mom. I don't want to lose mine." I nodded smiling. This was better than I had hoped. I would need to speak with Janine later and congratulate her. She walked away from Rose without a scratch and had successfully established a bond between the two of them that would only grow stronger.
I pulled Rose close to me and kissed the top of her head. Shortly after, Rose fell asleep and I knew I'd have to leave her again. I carefully slipped out of her grasp and changed before writing her another note filled with promises of my love and informing her that practice would be cancelled tomorrow. There was something I had to take care of, first thing tomorrow morning. I would need to find Tasha and reject her offer. As I left, I took one last look at Roza and smiled at the beautiful image before me. No one could compare to her. I couldn't wait to make it known to the world that she was mine and I was hers only.
Surprise! I'm still in the middle of exams but I found a break to write and bring you another update. I hope you like it. I don't think it is one of my better chapters but I needed to show Dimitri's perspective on Tasha's offer and wanted to conclude with a cute ending between our favourite couple. I should hopefully be able to bring out another update soon just as soon as exams finish and I have all the time in the world to write. It is getting really difficult to keep this PG but I am not quite ready to jump in with a full M scene as I don't think I would write it well or it might spoil what I have written so far.
let me know if you would like an M scene. And if someone is good at writing those who would like to see it in this story, feel free to PM me and I'll give credit when I use it :)
Thank you for reading. Hope you like where I am going with this. Please don't forget to review and I will see you all again very soon!