I Missed You

The next time they see each other is spring, almost summer. It's been five months. During that time, he worked at the pub for a little, then hitchhiked across Europe, couch surfing the homes of chefs he cooked for. It was a frugal life, certainly — Ryo didn't want to use too much of Alice's money that she left behind for him — but one that was different every day. No schedules, no shokugekis, no orders. No white-haired mistress with her hands on her hips and a waiting pout, ready to whine about how Erina won't hang out with her and why she "thinks she's so much better than the rest of us!" Just…freedom.

Like what Alice told him to experience.

But now he's back at Tohtsuki's grounds, his bandana still around his wrist like nothing's changed, maybe just a little more frayed at the edges. He begins to hear whispers around him, wondering why he's back.

"Ryo!" He knows that voice. Soma. Ryo doesn't bother moving from below the clocktower, just slightly turns his head. Soma, Megumi by his side, grins ear to ear and claps a tanned hand on his shoulder. "Ryo! You're finally back! I hope you haven't gotten worse, I've got to battle you some time — "

"Soma," Megumi interrupts. She's looking at Ryo, her hands locking and unlocking in pulses. The opposite of Alice. "I don't think he wants to talk to you right now."

"Hah? Why not? Ryo?"

Ryo grunts and brushes Soma away. He asks, "Do you know where Alice is?"

"Ah," Soma huffs as if something has just dawned on him. He makes no comment on the lack of formalities tied to his (former?) master's name. Is it that obvious that Ryo only looks for Alice? Does that mean he hasn't changed? Does that mean Alice will send him away again?

"Um, she built a lab next to Shiomi Seminar," Megumi say softly, looking down at her feet. Some people seem the same. Did Alice change?

Of course she hasn't, Ryo thinks, She probably uprooted someone else from the lab just to be next to Hayama. The last part in his mind drips with bitterness. What if she left him behind to pick up Hayama instead? No, that was ridiculous. After all, Alice had left so he could want something.

And now he wants her. To be by her. Still, despite everything.

At the door of the lab, he pauses. Maybe she wouldn't want to see him. Maybe he should leave before he finds Alice with Hayama, her hands tangled in his silver locks —

Ryo opens the door. Every appliance shines in glittering cleanliness, as if barely used, although he quickly reckons that they're just brutally cleaned by Nakiri maids. He briefly ponders the thought of being replaced — Hayama, his mind runs through again — but something in the corner of his eye, shining, halts any function in his brain.

There Alice is, her back towards him, head craned upward to peer at a glass vial undoubtedly holding the most beautiful of foods within its thin capacity. They always argued about that, about whether food should be beautiful or flavorful. "Why not both," Alice would taunt, sticking out her tongue in feigned annoyance, and he would answer (bandana off because only she has the power to evoke an interesting response), "You act like your food is flavorful," and she'd yell, "Ryo-o-oo!…But at least you said my cooking is beautiful!" She'd say the last part with her large doe eyes staring straight into his, and if he were a weaker man, Ryo would have definitely fallen in love with her right then and there.

She hasn't noticed him yet, or at least hasn't bothered to welcome her visitor. Of course not. Ryo stumbles into a stool, then freezes. The legs of the stool screech against the linoleum tiles, skidding in a streak of metallic reluctance. He winces.

"Who dares to enter without setting up an appointment?" Alice derides, although there's no real vitriol in her voice. Her back still faces Ryo, recalling that moment five months ago where its retreating form seemed to disappear into a blur of white forever. Growing up poor in Denmark, Ryo was used to the cold, having experienced long winters with one layer of clothing over his skin. Of course, this all changed when Alice came into the picture, but by then he had become numb to cold temperatures. Yet, when she walked away that night, it was like she took all the warmth with her, and he was left behind in the biting cold. "I asked, who — "

"Me," he says. She stops talking. Doesn't move either. He tries again, a little bitterly. His bandana sways by his side. "I'm here. Ryo. Or did you already forget?"

At the sound of his name, Alice visibly flinches, the liquid in the graduated cylinder trembling in her hand. She sets it down onto a stand next to the refrigerator and grips the edge of the counter for support. She turns slowly. "Ryo?"

They stand just two meters apart from each other, but neither move. In one stride, he can reach her with an outstretched hand to grasp at her tumbling hair, now a bit longer than before until it reaches her shoulders. Alice never liked long hair, said it got in the way of her cooking. Perhaps there wasn't anyone to schedule trips to the salon for her. Perhaps she changed.

They're silent for a few more moments. Ryo doesn't want to be the first one to speak; after being basically abandoned at the wharf, he deserves at least a few breaths of sullen anger. So, she speaks first. "Hey," she offers, stepping forward. Stops almost immediately.

Come closer, he wants to say.

"How are you, Ryo?"

Silence.

"I…I got this lab. It's really nice."

He doesn't even try to say anything.

"It's…nice to finally see you again!" Alice tries again in her typical cheery fashion. When he remains quiet, her fingernails dig into her skin, leaving behind conspicuous red marks on her palm. She's getting irritated, Ryo realizes. It's a little childish, but he basks in her impatience. "Look, Ryo, you can be mad or whatever, but you should at least try to understand where I'm coming from! I did what I did back then because I thought — no, I knew you needed it. No need to be a stupid baby about it — "

Without caring anymore, Ryo's hands reach out exactly like he imagined, one more step forward, and he pulls her into a hug. "What — " Alice starts before he muffles her voice his shirt. Her red eyes widen in momentary shock before her body, stiffened at the surprise touch, melts into his arms. She clasps up at his slouched shoulder blades, jutting through his freshly ironed uniform, and whispers, "I missed you." She says it so low that he would have missed it if not for his years spent straining to hear even the softest of anything she said. Shifting so that her head fits into the bend of his neck to his shoulder — her lips right by his collarbones, he notes — Alice hugs him harder. "I really did miss you."

They hold each other for a few more seconds before Ryo pushes Alice away lightly. "I'm still angry," he says bluntly, "that you abandoned me out there in the cold."

At this, Alice sighs. "I'm sorry, but it was for the best."

"At least talk to me about it."

"I didn't have to, I was still your master," Alice pouts, puffing up her cheeks in her trademark dissatisfaction. Even in their little fight, Ryo can't help but drink up her appearance. He hates it, but he missed her.

"So…what are we now?" Ryo is the first one to broach the subject, awkward as it is, and they both study the floor, stabbing at it with their feet.

"I gave you your freedom," Alice says at last. "You can do whatever you want." With the last word, she lets out hmph and crosses her arms as if she doesn't care what he does.

"I want to be your aide again."

Alice drops her arms. There's no pretense written on her face anymore, no disguise. Just shock. "Ryo, what's wrong with you? Have you learned absolutely nothing during those five months? Did I give you up for absolutely nothing?" With each word, she jabs at his chest with a perfectly manicured finger, spearing through the air to propel her rant. "I swear, Ryo, you absolute — "

With a swift motion of his hands, he ties the bandana around his head. "Alice, stop, Alice, just listen to me!" He grunts as he snatches her frenzied hands in the air, gripping the familiar warmth between his two palms. "Alice. It's my choice. I want to be your aide again. I'm willing."

"Unlike last time?"

"Unlike last time," Ryo affirms. He drops her hands, albeit a little reluctantly. This is different, he thinks, but he doesn't need to say it because she already understands. The hidden dialogue between the two, fostered by years of close living and an inherent trust in each other, electrifies again after five long months. He's been waiting. He smiles for the first time in what feels like awhile — he is not a man of smiles either — and cranes his neck downward to look at her small body. Ryo takes off the bandana, and his demeanor changes, softer. "I missed you, Miss Alice," he says simply.

During those five months, he didn't develop any desires, as Alice might have wanted him to, except for one: to be beside her again, even if just for a little longer.

Alice's sharp voice breaks him out of his thoughts, a grin swarming her face. "Perfect! I just needed someone to fix up a meeting at the salon…"

Hi! Thanks for reading! I just wanted to drop by and say that Ryo & Alice might be a little OOC right now, but I just wanted to establish that their power dynamic is actually equal because of her "setting him free," even when he returns. I thought them being on a more equal basis would drive their relationship even more!