Thank you SamGirlDeanCurious for beta'ing and VegasGranny and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading.

Thursday was the 9th anniversary of me posting my first ever fanfic. In those 9 years, I have written 4.2 million words over 63 posted stories. Writing has brought indescribable joy and meaning to my life, and some of my very best friends. Each and every one of you, those that review, those that favourite and add my stuff to alerts, and those that just lurk in the traffic stats, add to the experience. Thank you all so much xxx

Chapter Seven

Jessica and Sam came into the library, exactly one minute before Castiel had suggested they assemble, and they were both stony-faced. In Jessica's eyes, Dean could see her excitement, her eagerness, but there was nothing but pain in Sam's.

Dean wished he could get his brother alone to talk to him, but when he started to suggest Sam come to the garage with him to help gather the weapons when they'd arrived back at the bunker, Sam had said he was going to shower and that Jack could help. He was in a world of hurt, that was obvious, and he wasn't letting Dean help. Not that Dean had any idea what he could say to help, even if he did have a chance.

"We ready?" Jessica asked eagerly.

"Yeah. Grab a duffel," Dean said.

Jessica took one of the duffels they'd prepared for her, Dean, and Sam from the table and opened it. Her mouth dropped open and she pulled out an angel blade. "Where did you get this?" she asked.

"A lot of angels died here, so we picked up what was left," Sam said, shouldering his own duffel.

"They died?" Jessica asked. "How?"

Castiel shifted from foot to foot. "There were wars."

"Are there a lot of angels in your world?" Dean asked.

"Probably thousands," Jessica said. "But we've not seen them—apart from Castiel and Hannah—since Sam was taken. They disappeared at the same time as Sam and Lilith. We think they're just biding their time until Sam breaks." She shivered. "If he does."

"He won't," Sam said. "He's lasted over a decade, and he's not got long left. Saving him is the second trial, and I'll do it as soon as the first is over."

Dean clenched his jaw at the easy way Sam was saying it, as if he still believed there was a chance that he was going to be allowed to do something so stupid.

"You have Hannah on your side?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, she fell about a year after Castiel did and joined our side. Not all the angels are on the side of the apocalypse, but most are too loyal to Michael to do anything about it. Hannah saw what the demons were doing and she couldn't stand it."

"You think she's for real, Cas?" Dean asked. "She got pretty shady with you."

"Yes," Castiel said firmly. "She had a more defined conscience than most angels. I can't imagine that she would be able to stand and watch for long in that world."

"Good," Sam said. "That's one more on our side." He turned to Dean. "The demon knife?"

Dean patted his jacket pocket and said, "Got it."

"You got one of them, too?" Jessica asked. "Did you get it from Ruby?"

"Yes, I used it to kill her, too," Dean said brutally.

Jessica's eyes widened. "You killed her!"

"Yes," Sam said. "She was working for Lilith. Wait! She's still with you?"

Jessica nodded. "She's the one that helped train Sam. She got him on the blood, which almost got her killed, but when Sam was taken, even John had to see we needed her. She's been with us ever since. She sometimes hears about the demon sieges before the signs start so we can get there first. That's where Dean and Cas were when I was brought here. Demons descended on Boulder so they went to help. Me and John were supposed to join them there yesterday. Hannah was going to take us, but John was healing from a gut wound he got from a different demon and Dean persuaded him to stay back. Cas and Hannah can't heal since they were cut off from Heaven. We have to do it all the hard way."

"I can heal him when we get there," Castiel said. "I was readmitted to Heaven after Lucifer and Michael were trapped. Jack can heal, too."

Jessica looked startled. "Don't suppose you can fix Dean's eye while you're there?"

Sam looked at him hopefully. "You can, can't you, Cas? It can't be much different to fixing Kevin's finger."

"I can do it, I think," Castiel said.

"Great," Dean said, picking up his duffel. "Let's get there so the healing can begin. You ready for this, Jack?"

Jack nodded. "I need you, Jessica. I have to find something that connects to that world to find the way."

Jessica kissed Sam's hand which was entwined with hers and then walked to Jack's side.

Sam watched her longingly, and Dean guessed he was thinking, as Dean was, that would probably be the last kiss they would share.

Jack pressed his hands to Jessica's head and she winced and Jack's eyes glowed gold and he stared at a point across the room where a thread of light appeared and stretched down to the floor and up towards the ceiling.

"Wow," Jessica breathed.

"Ready?" Dean asked. In answer, Castiel strode forward and passed through it, followed by Jessica. Dean glanced at Sam said, "You going to be okay?"

Sam nodded stiffly and followed Jessica through.

Dean went after them, coming out on his knees in a small, dimly lit motel room. The visible light came through a shaded window. Sam, Castiel, and Jessica were standing across the room, Dean got up and moved away from the rift as Jack stepped through, looking as though he felt none of the same disorientation Dean had, and the rift closed behind him.

"This is the right place?" Dean asked.

Jessica looked to the bedside table where a framed picture of herself and Sam was sitting. She smiled at it and said, "This is it. And here's my stuff." She picked up a gun and machete from the floor and tucked them into the holster and sheath on her waist. "I better find John."

Castiel went to the shaded window and opened it. Through the water-spotted glass, Dean could see his father—or this world's version of him—standing with a man that looked like he was being threatened as John's arms moved jerkily through the air. He glanced to the side and then his eyes widened and he disappeared from view.

"Definitely the right place," Sam muttered.

The door to the room flew open and John was revealed on the threshold. "Jessica!" he said, relief and anger combined in his voice. "Where the hell did you go? I was…" The color drained from his face and his lips parted with shock as he looked at Sam who was staring back at him with a guarded expression.

"Sammy," he whispered. "How?"

He shook his head and strode across the room on unsteady legs and threw his arms around Sam and clutched his son against him. His shoulders began to shake and Dean heard his breaths rasp and then become voluble sobs. Sam patted his back awkwardly and cast a panicked glance at Jessica.

"John, it's not really…"

John pulled back and cupped Sam's face in his hands. "Sammy, son, I'm so sorry," he said in a choked voice. "I am so sorry. My boy, I…"

Sam flinched and Jessica moved into action at last. She placed a hand on John's shoulder and said, "It's not our Sam, John. He's from a different world."

John staggered back, his wet eyes wide and the tears still streaming down his cheeks. "What?" He looked from face to face, settling on Dean and said. "Your eye… No! Please, no. You have to be him."

"I'm sorry," Sam mumbled. "I'm not him. But we're here to help. We can get Sam back."

John turned away and wiped at his face. When he faced them again, his eyes were dry and his expression had hardened into the one Dean had seen many times in his childhood; it was the face John wore when the pain of losing Mary was too much but he was still fighting.

"How?" he asked.

"Maybe Dean and Cas should be here for this," Jessica said. "And Hannah."

"They're not here," John said. "Boulder has taken a turn and they've got on radio blackout. Ruby's gone with them. It's just me. I couldn't even get hold of them when you went missing yesterday. It's just been me and I've been looking, but… What happened to you?"

"It's a really long story," Dean said. "And we'll tell it all—"

"Can I help your wound first?" Castiel interrupted. "It's festering."

"You can do that?" John asked.

Castiel nodded. "If you'll let me."

John lifted his shirt where a large bloody dressing covered a swatch of his stomach. Castiel peeled it back to reveal a line of uneven stitches in raw, red skin with lines of red spreading from it.

"John!" Jessica gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You weren't here," John said dully. "Go on then. Fix me up. I want to know how the hell you got here and how we're getting my boy back."

Castiel placed his hand over the wound and light glowed in his palm as John winced. When Castiel pulled back, the skin was clear and flushed with healthy color again. "There," he said. "Now we can talk."

"You might want to sit down," Sam said. "It's a long story." He took a seat on the bed and John stared at him for a moment before sitting down beside him, close enough that their shoulders brushed, and Jessica took his other side.

Seeing their closeness, the look in John's eyes, told Dean that they weren't truly conscious that this wasn't their Sam. They were taking their comfort in Dean's brother, and that was going to hurt Sam when they left.

Though Dean felt no regret that they had come, that they would save this version of Sam and their world, he was worried about what kind of world they were going back to with Sam in the kind of pain he was going to suffer.

"Okay," Sam said. "Here we go. This is Jack, and he's a Nephilim…"

John raked a hand over his face and said, "So if you finish these trials, Hell is closed for good?"

"Yes," Sam said. "All demons on earth will be dragged back and the doors closed. They'll never get out."

John blew out a breath and then fixed his eyes on Sam with such intensity it was hard for Sam to stop himself squirming. "And one of the trials is to get you out?"

"An innocent soul," Dean said. "Sam qualifies."

"Hell yeah he does," John said. "My boy has no place in there. He never did. If I hadn't…" He shook his head. "He doesn't belong there."

"It wasn't your fault, John," Jessica said, reaching across Sam to grip his hand. "It was Lilith."

"I should have known what they were planning," John growled, pulling his hand away and making Jess withdraw with a hurt look. "If I'd been paying attention, I would have known. I didn't even see that the stupid kid was on that filthy blood. I was so caught up in my hell memories, in stopping Lilith, that I didn't see what was happening to my own family."

"You couldn't have stopped him," Sam said quietly. "No one could stop me either. Dean and Bobby locked me up in the panic room, but I got out."

"You did here, too," Jessica said. "We never understood how you did it."

"Neither did we," Sam said. "Not really. I was locked down but then the cuffs were off and the door open." He shrugged. "It doesn't matter how. It's done. It's what we do next that matters. We need to find a hellhound for the first trial."

"The trials that are going to kill you?" John asked, his brow furrowed.

Sam nodded and John's expression hardened.

"You can't seriously believe I'm going to let you do that, Sammy."

Dean looked away but Sam thought he saw a flash of triumph in his face before he did. Sam knew it wasn't that he didn't care about John, like Sam did with Jessica, Dean had to see the fact this was their father as much as Jessica was the woman he loved and John saw his son when he looked at Sam, but Dean could probably distance himself from that fact where he couldn't let Sam go. It was hardwired in him to protect Sam.

"It's the best way," Sam said. "Sam, your Sam, is going to need all of you when he gets back. He's going to… struggle."

John shook his head jerkily. "He'll have Jess and Dean. He'll be fine."

Sam opened his mouth to argue, but John spoke over him.

"I am going to be the one to do this for my son and my world. You don't see it, but this is on me. I didn't stop Sam training his powers when my year was counting down, and I could have. Once he was on the blood, I didn't stand a chance, but before then, I could have reached him. I didn't which meant he was ready for Lilith when it was time. The fact we stopped him before he could kill her means nothing when stacked against what happened to him after."

"The apocalypse would have started," Sam said.

John huffed a laugh. "And what do you call what we're living with now? No, this is on me, and I'm going to be the one to put it right." He slapped his hands down on his knees. "I need to kill a hellhound. Fine. I can do that. Jess, find a crossroads for me. I'll put in a prayer to Cas. If they're hearing it and can get free, they need to see…" He glanced at Sam. "They need to be here."

When Sam had been with Jessica, consumed with her and how it felt to be with her, he hadn't allowed himself much time to think of this world. Now it occurred to him that he was going to see this world's version of Dean and have that same moment of seeing his joy and heartbreak when he realized Sam wasn't the right version of his brother, that he hadn't been saved. He would be, Sam would make sure of it. He might not be able to be the one to do the trials, but he could be right there with John while he did them.

Jessica got up and took a laptop from a bag on the table where Dean and Jack sat and Castiel stood sentinel. She booted it up and tapped her fingers impatiently.

"How do you plan to force the demon to summon a hellhound?" Castiel asked.

John smiled grimly. "I plan to make it hurt enough to call in backup."

Sam flinched away from the dark look in his eyes. He knew he had broken in Hell, become the torturer, but he seemed to have embraced those lessons more than Dean ever had. Sam supposed this world had forced him to, but it was still a shock to see it in his father.

Dean seemed as disturbed as Sam felt, but he was better at pushing it down and schooling his expression as he said, "We're going to need the magic glasses. Don't suppose you've got any."

"Glasses?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, if you pass glasses through holy fire, you can see hellhounds. I put holy oil in the bags."

"There's an eye doctor in town," John said. "Take my truck."

"Did you bring money, Dean?" Sam asked.

"We don't need money," John said, then went on after seeing their blank looks. "You say your world is different to ours? It must be. In our world, hunters get to take what they need for the war. We're the ones fighting it for them. Show them a weapon and they'll hand over whatever you ask for."

Sam and Dean exchanged a glance. They'd lived through hard times in their world, some really hard, but their world had never found out the truth about what really moved among them. They've kept that part of their innocence.

This world really was different.

So… John has seen Sam. That was tough to write. Trying to imagine what he would feel after losing his son to Hell ten years ago was a challenge. I hope what I did works for you.

Until next time…

Clowns or Midgets xxx