I Love You
Ryo doesn't really text a lot of people, but when he texts, he texts.
To Alice Nakiri:
I can't believe you thought their seafood was better than anything I could cook. [Delivered 5:30 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
I said it MIGHT be better lol [Delivered 5:35 pm]
Don't be bitter that you're not as good of a cook as you think! [Delivered 5:35 pm]
Miss me? Don't worry, I only have a few more days. [Delivered 5:40 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
I did miss you. [Deleted 5:57 pm]
I let the cat sleep in your room. [Delivered 5:59 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Since when do we have a cat? [Delivered 6:00 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Jun adopted one but she also went on a business trip and Hayama didn't want to take care of it. I volunteered. [Delivered 6:01 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Wow a lot happened in two days…[Delivered 6:03 pm]
But you volunteered to take it in?! I would be mad, but I didn't know you would do something nice voluntarily…[Delivered 6:03 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
I volunteered because I thought it would irritate you. [Delivered 6:05 pm]
His name is Curry. [Delivered 6:06 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Well, you thought wrong LOL! You'll be the one taking care of him since I'm gone. Let him sleep in my room, I love cats! Send a pic when you have the chance. Have fun! [Delivered 6:10 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
…Shit. [Delivered 6:15 pm]
With Alice gone, Ryo's schedule has drastically cleared up. It's freeing — but it's also eerie how his days are filled not with running Alice's errands but absentmindedly exploring empty rooms and empty tables or feeding the cat. He even goes as far as to text Hayama and Soma to come over for a cooking match or even a damn movie. He's that bored.
To Alice Nakiri:
How was the conference last night? [Delivered 10:34 am]
From Alice Nakiri:
It was fine. Tiring. I had to talk to too many people. [Delivered 2:04 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Did you just wake up? [Delivered 2:06 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Yup! It's 8 AM over here. Preparing for a busy day~ [Delivered 2:07 pm]
Taste-testing a string of restaurants for lunch and giving a lecture about molecular gastronomy right after. Aren't you proud that your lady is so smart? [Delivered 2:08 pm]
What have you got today? [Delivered 2:08 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
…Not much. [Delivered 2:10 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
What?! You really DO need me to busy up your life! XD [Delivered 2:11 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
You're right. I do need you. [Deleted 2:13 pm]
Good luck on your talk. [Delivered 2:15 pm]
He wonders when they will talk about it. Alice said she would sit on it, but she also says a lot of things she doesn't really mean. Ryo sighs and turns to the group chat.
To Akira Hayama, Yukihira Soma:
Guys, I need help. [Delivered 2:20 pm]
From Yukihira Soma:
Oh boy. Did you finally decide to ask Alice out? [Delivered 2:21 pm]
From Akira Hayama:
He's too much of a pussy to do that [Delivered 2:21 pm]
To Akira Hayama, Yukihira Soma:
Actually, I AM going to ask her out. [Delivered 2:23 pm]
Shut up, Hayama. [Delivered 2:24 pm]
From Akira Hayama:
But why do you need our help? So you ARE a pussy, after all. [Delivered 2:25 pm]
From Yukihira Soma:
Stop bullying Kurokiba! He needs our help :D [Delivered 2:27 pm]
Just ask her out, man. [Delivered 2:29 pm]
To Akira Hayama, Yukihira Soma:
She always gets so nervous when I breach that topic. [Delivered 2:30 pm]
Plus, I don't want to do it by text, but I also just want to get it over with. [Delivered 2:31 pm]
From Akira Hayama:
Just wait for her to get back. [Delivered 2:32 pm]
If that's it, I'll be going now. [Delivered 2:33 pm]
From Yukihira Soma:
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed…[Delivered 2:34 pm]
Let me tell you something. If you wanna say it, just say it. Don't wait. Sure, it's not as romantic or whatever over text or call, but sometimes you just shouldn't wait. [Delivered 2:36 pm]
That's all I have. Good luck, mate. [Delivered 2:37 pm]
To Akira Hayama, Yukihira Soma:
Thanks guys. [Delivered 2:39 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Let's talk. [Delivered 2:45 pm]
Because he has no better thing to do, he waits for her response idly. First, watches some television (a sappy rom-com that is Alice's absolute favorite). When she still doesn't respond two hours later, he paces the hallway a few times before hiding his phone in the closet. She's probably just busy, he reassures himself.
He checks his phone a few hours later. Alice had posted on her social medias a few pictures of her day. In the first picture, the photographer had snapped a candid shot of Alice talking with a Greek restaurant owner, laughing in between bites of a fancy dish. In the next, she delivers a speech on an elevated stage, her mouth open in mid-sentence and her arms out, gesticulating undoubtedly in passionate fervor regarding the accessibility of gastronomy to all people. It's clear that she had been on her phone, deliberately ignoring Ryo's text in anticipation of what he might say next.
Fine. If she can ignore him, he can ignore her too.
Ryo sighs. He doesn't want it to be this way. He doesn't want awkward silences at the dinner table or broken stares or Alice standing a little too far away to be reached. He doesn't want sleepless nights when the tension gets too high and silence isn't enough. He just wants the two of them together. Since when had he begun to want more than he deserved? Since that night in Denmark when she walked away to give him freedom and inexplicably gave him so much more?
The resounding silence between them is deafening. Silence had always been their language, but now it is a curse. In silence they had understood each other, but now in silence he crumbles.
To Alice Nakiri:
I just wanted to say I'm proud of you for your gastronomy work. That's all. [Delivered 9:07 pm]
Can't wait for you to meet Curry. [Delivered 11:09 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
You really are getting lonely to text me first willingly lol [Delivered 11:15 pm]
With an exhaustive exhale, Ryo sets his phone aside. Of course Alice would only respond when she knew nothing would come out of it. It seemed every time he checked his phone, all that awaited was disappointment.
From Alice Nakiri:
When I get back, I expect a huge party and a celebration! [Delivered 4:26 am]
By the way…I just wanted to say I miss you. [Delivered 4:30 am]
He wakes up this text in the morning. Alice would have sent that right after midnight in Greece — was it just the tiredness talking?
To Alice Nakiri:
When you say things like that…[Delivered 9:32 am]
You understand where I'm coming from, right? How I'm confused? The mixed signals? [Delivered 9:33 am]
I'm sorry, it's just a little frustrating. It's not your fault. [Delivered 9:33 am]
From Alice Nakiri:
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. [Delivered 12:11 pm]
I just felt the urge to say it. I want you to feel appreciated [Delivered 12:12 pm]
I get that it might not seem that way based on…recent events. But I'm not trying to avoid you [Delivered 12:14 pm]
The future is scary haha. [Delivered 12:14 pm]
I like how things are. [Delivered 12:20 pm]
That's how Alice is, he supposes. Not caring about anything in her warpath. Anything she touches, she destroys. Forgetting to look back at the damage she caused. Ignoring others' feelings except her own. Going back and forth.
From Alice Nakiri:
What I said in Denmark still stands, you know. [Delivered 12:30 pm]
If you want something else… [Delivered 12:30 pm]
You can go. [Delivered 12:34 pm]
And just like that, all his defenses crumble away into dust on a hot summer day. Who was he kidding when he thought she didn't care about anyone besides herself?
To Alice Nakiri:
I only want to stay beside you [Delivered 12:35 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
:) [Delivered 12:37 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
What would I do without you? [Deleted 12:38 pm]
So, that settles it, Ryo muses. No more wondering. Instead, he begins to cook, pouring pent-up emotions he no longer needs into bowls of sauce and dough. Alice's return flight is tomorrow, so maybe he would welcome her with gorgeous arrays of her favorite seafood dishes, rough and callous to the tongue yet gentle to the soul.
Suddenly, Ryo's attention turns to the gentle pressure against his shin; beside him, Curry's orange fur bristles as he rubs against his leg, begging for attention.
"Go away," Ryo scowls, lightly nudging him away with his foot. Curry simply purrs and bats at Ryo. "Fine, you arrogant little thing." Setting down the whisk, he leans down to pick up the cat. "You're just like Alice, aren't you? Annoying, bratty, obstructive…"
The cat meows.
"Whiny, desperate for attention…"
The cat swats at his face.
"Fine. Persistent, small…and adorable, I suppose."
Curry purrs in approval. He really is just like Alice.
"Down you go. I have to finish cooking for tomorrow. I just know Alice is expecting a damn buffet."
From Alice Nakiri:
I can't wait to see you soon! [Delivered 2:11 am]
To Alice Nakiri:
I'll be glad to see you. [Delivered 2:13 am]
From Alice Nakiri:
Whoa, you're still awake?! Isn't it 2 AM over there? It's just 8 over here…[Delivered 2:14 am]
I just finished with all my work and I'm packing. I wish I brought you so you could do it for me lol [Delivered 2:15 am]
But I guess we needed time away from each other [Delivered 2:15 am]
To Alice Nakiri:
Is the moon out over there? [Delivered 2:17 am]
From Alice Nakiri:
That's random haha [Delivered 2:17 am]
Let me check [Delivered 2:18 am]
Yes it is! But it's hiding behind a few clouds :( [Delivered 2:18 am]
To Alice Nakiri:
I wonder if the moon pales the same way for you as for me. [Delivered 2:20 am]
He's not sure why, but something about the way moonlight winks at him behind blankets of mist makes him wonder if Alice, looking out the window, might see the same thing as him right now — whether their visions are tied together by some sort of fate or higher power. "I never struck myself as the romantic," he mutters dryly to himself. Ryo shivers a little; standing outside on the balcony of his room, he feels the wind finger through his hair and blow kisses at the dark shadows under his eyes. In the folded arms of early morning air, he expends breaths remembering his arm next to hers, almost touching yet the space of an ocean dividing them. He checks his phone.
From Alice Nakiri:
I bet it does [Delivered 2:21 am]
Here's a pic [Delivered 2:22 am]
Attached is a photo of the moon. The picture itself is grainy, but if he squints, he can make out small specks made of craters darkening the light. But right under the small circle of the moon is Alice's face, her cheeks widened by a bright smile. She's clearly tired, with no makeup and damp hair from an evening shower, but she's glowing anyway. At the sight of her slightly disheveled hair, Ryo wants to chuckle — especially when he compares it to her usual perfected appearance — but he smiles instead. There's something poignant and vulnerable about her baring her makeup-less face to him — like she trusted him.
Quickly snapping a picture of his moon, he sends it to her.
To Alice Nakiri:
Here's what it looks like on my side of Earth. [Delivered 2:27 am]
From Alice Nakiri:
It looks the same! [Delivered 2:28 am]
:) [Delivered 2:28 am]
He's not usually a sentimental person, but right now he really wants to cry.
To Alice Nakiri:
I love [Deleted 2:30 am]
Night. See you soon. [Delivered 2:31 am]
From Alice Nakiri:
Good night! I'm so excited to see you again! [Delivered 2:32 am]
About time haha. Miss ya [Delivered 2:33 am]
When he wakes up, he immediately thinks about her, his heart pounding against his chest in desperate waiting. But there's a lot to do today, so he quickly exiles her to the edges of his mind to focus on his duties. Finish up her welcome meal, call the maids to clean up the house, organize the family car to drive to the airport. For some reason, Alice is directly flying to mainland Japan this time rather than some obscure island and then taking a boat back to the city. Probably because a storm was coming up so the ship ride back would be tumultuous.
After he finishes his tasks (he's always been a fast worker), Ryo waits outside the house for the car to pick him up. Curry winds his way to Ryo's feet, flicking his tail in zigzags.
"What do you want?" Ryo grumbles.
Curry scratches lightly at the cuffs of his pants. As an introvert, Ryo admittedly did not spend much time with the cat, instead choosing to spend his time in the kitchen or even in his room reading alone. Even the maids spent more time with Curry, feeding him and shining flashlights in dark rooms as entertainment. The cat must have been feeling lonely from days of playing by itself.
Ryo averts his gaze from the cat, but Curry nags at his shoelace anyway. "Fine, do you want me to bring you along? Then you can meet Alice soon. She'll be excited to see you," he says finally. Scooping the cat up into his arms, Ryo watches as the familiar black car pulls up. "Let's go pick up Alice."
From Alice Nakiri:
This plane has wifi! I never knew that lol [Delivered 5:35 pm]
Now I can bother you the entire time haha [Delivered 5:35 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Shouldn't you save your battery? [Delivered 5:37 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Lucky for me, there's a charging port here! [Delivered 5:38 pm]
The airplane food is gross, though. Tastes like grass. And the nerve for them to serve it to a Nakiri! [Delivered 5:39 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Not everyone is blessed with your tastebuds. [Delivered 5:40 pm]
Fortunately. [Delivered 5:40 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
And there's a screen in front of me so I can see where we are! I'm right over the ocean right now lol [Delivered 5:42 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Wow, technology nowadays… [Delivered 5:43 pm]
You should go to sleep. I bet you're tired. It'll pass time faster. [Delivered 5:44 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Actually, I'll listen to you [Delivered 5:45 pm]
Night! [Delivered 5:45 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Awake yet? You're almost landing, I believe, according to the flight schedule. [Delivered 8:48 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Yup. It was actually a little hard sleeping because of all the turbulence. [Delivered 8:49 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
From the storm? [Delivered 8:50 pm]
I'm sure you guys will be fine. Must be scary though, all that shaking. [Delivered 8:51 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Yeah… [Delivered 8:55 pm]
Definitely a lot of shaking. I'm gripping the seat lol. I can hardly hold my phone. [Delivered 8:57 pm]
And I hear the rain whipping the window. [Delivered 8:58 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Look at the screen. Are you over the ocean? [Delivered 9:00 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Yeah. I heard storms get bad over bodies of water [Delivered 9:02 pm]
Can you distract me? [Delivered 9:03 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Distract you? How? [Delivered 9:04 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Idk, say anything lol [Delivered 9:05 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Um…there was a time when I really hated you, you know [Delivered 9:06 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
I already knew that! [Delivered 9:06 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
I mean, not hate in a passionate way, the way I did when we first met and we kept doing shokugekis. After that. When I was serving as your aide. [Delivered 9:07 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
What?! You were always so silent! I feel offended! [Delivered 9:08 pm]
Why? [Delivered 9:08 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Because you naturally attracted everyone to you. Meanwhile, everyone seemed to avoid me. Maybe I was jealous. I guess it was my personality. [Delivered 9:10 pm]
I remember a specific instance, though. This was before Totsuki. We were at a restaurant — can't remember which one — and everyone was fawning over you and how you were a light in gastronomy and the cooking industry. And you kept drawing them in with that personality of yours. I was annoyed so I walked outside. [Delivered 9:12 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
I remember that! I thought you just needed air lol…who knew you were sullen?! [Delivered 9:13 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Remember how you came outside right after me? [Delivered 9:14 pm]
You said, "Why are you out here, Ryo, without telling me? You're supposed to be by my side at all times!" I was getting really annoyed and I was about to snap but you went on, "I get anxious about you! What if a comet fell and you just disappeared because you weren't near me? You're so stupid!" [Delivered 9:16 pm]
That was the dumbest thing I ever heard but I started to laugh because that was the first time anyone was worried about me. [Delivered 9:17 pm]
Maybe that was when I began to like you. [Deleted 9:17 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Aww… [Delivered 9:18 pm]
I was such a sweet child haha :) [Delivered 9:19 pm]
We have such a rich history together. There are so many memories to reminisce about [Delivered 9:20]
To Alice Nakiri:
That's a really fond memory of mine. [Delivered 9:21]
Alice? [Delivered 9:31 pm]
Alice? Is everything okay? [Delivered 9:37 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Yeah…Just a lot of turbulence. It's a little scary but I'll get over it [Delivered 9:41 pm]
That was a nice story. I love it. [Delivered 9:42]
Oh my god [Delivered 9:43 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
What's happening? Are you okay? [Delivered 9:43 pm]
Talk to me. Let me know you're good. [Delivered 9:43 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
The lights just flickered. The wind is really loud. We hit a hard bump and my head nearly hit the ceiling [Delivered 9:45 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
I hope the storm ends soon. [Delivered 9:45 pm]
I'm not religious but I'm praying the turbulence eases up. [Delivered 9:46 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
Wait the lights are flickering really bad now and the oxygen masks just dropped [Delivered 9:49 pm]
The turbulence is getting worse. Can you check any updates about the storm on the internet? [Delivered 9:50 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
It's heading right over the west coast of Japan [Delivered 9:51 pm]
It's going to be okay. I promise. [Delivered 9:51 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
How do you know? [Delivered 9:53 pm]
You're not here [Delivered 9:53 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
I wish I was. [Delivered 9:54 pm]
Everything is gonna be okay. [Delivered 9:55 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
It sounds like you're convincing yourself more than me [Delivered 9:56 pm]
Oh my god [Delivered 9:58 pm]
The captain just said on the loudspeaker that he thinks the wind hurt part of the wing or something [Delivered 9:59 pm]
I'm really scared, Ryo [Delivered 10:00 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Just hang on really tightly. It'll be okay. He'll probably make an emergency landing on the shore or something [Delivered 10:01 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
I don't think so…I'm looking down and all I see is water [Delivered 10:01 pm]
And I think it's coming closer a little. It's so shaky oh god [Delivered 10:01 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
Okay Alice just in case it crashes remember the position you have to be in protect your head don't sit up straight bend over remember the life vest is under your seat do you know where it is [Delivered 10:01 pm]
Please be alright please please please [Delivered 10:02 pm]
Okay so you're going to have to turn off your phone and just concentrate on protecting yourself you'll be fine please do this please brace your head put it between your knees please be safe please Alice please [Delivered 10:03 pm]
Alice I see you typing stop typing put down your phone and brace yourself [Delivered 10:03 pm]
Alice stop please for once listen to me [Delivered 10:04 pm]
ALICE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME DON'T TYPE BRACE YOURSELF [Delivered 10:04 pm]
From Alice Nakiri:
I love you. [Delivered 10:05 pm]
To Alice Nakiri:
No no no don't say that like it's a goodbye it's not you'll be alright okay? [Message Send Failure 10:05 pm]
Alice? Please tell me you're okay [Message Send Failure 10:05 pm]
Alice? [Message Send Failure 10:05 pm]
Alice? [Message Send Failure 10:05 pm]
Alice? [Message Send Failure 10:06 pm]
All he hears is silence.
So I feel like I need to explain this a little. I wrote a fic in the past which had a "sad" ending and some people didn't like it because they didn't want to leave on a sad note...Not that this will end sadly (you don't know that yet!) but I didn't want to reveal anything before to keep the surprise. This came from a scene in a movie where a boy and a girl only have a few minutes to interact with each other; after that time, they will quickly forget each other, so they want to exchange names in order not to forget. The boy appears to write his name on the girl's hand and then they are separated. A few moments later, the girl realizes he had written "I love you" rather than his name. I fell in love with the idea of a character in a dire situation where they chose to say "I love you" rather than something that seems "more important." Here, Alice should have put her phone down to prepare better, but she didn't...because she felt that saying "I love you" before it was too late was so much more important than protecting herself.
Anyway...thanks for reading and reviews are appreciated! I hope no one is too upset at this chapter!