A/N: So unbelievably overwhelmed by everyone's reviews and how much you all are inspiring me to write lately. I really love chatting with you guys about my story! Keep the messages coming :o)

I'm going to try and wait for 16 reviews before posting the next chapter, but I'm honestly really wanting to post it soon. Either way, first 10 will get a sneak peek.

Lastly, for those concerned: While I plan to write a sequel, yes, many issues will be resolved before this story ends. I can't promise it won't end without questions, but it will end in a way that it could be a standalone story. Aka as many things that can be tied up, will be. :-) Enjoy!

Toby obliged, joining Spencer outside as she stood there fighting with the projector, trying to angle it so the picture wasn't even a millimeter off center. Typical Spencer.

He sighed, putting down the bowls of popcorn he'd popped down on the picnic table. "Spence, stop." He grabbed her hands from behind her, leaning his chin on her shoulder. "We can tell them to come later, or do this tomorrow instead, or next—"

"Let me fix the screen," she said moving her shoulder to get him off of her.

"Spencer, it's okay. You don't have to pretend that you're not mad or sad or whatever it is that's going on in your head right now."

"Stop acting like I'm incapable or like I'm, like, a kid or something. I'm fine, okay? Everything's fine." She spoke sharply. "And I want this, tonight." She said, crossing her arms over her chest, looking at the projector screen, finally satisfied with the alignment.

Before Toby could argue again, Aria, Holden and Hanna walked around the house and poked their heads over Spencer's back fence. Holden waved over the fence, and Spencer smiled and jogged over to the gate to let them in. She did a complete 180, putting on a show with smiles and laughs like everything was fine. Better than fine. The goody-goody bubbly Spencer kids at school knew, more so before this year, but either way, a portrayal of perfection. Toby had a bad taste in his mouth watching her act. He wondered if she was going to explode, or just become a capped bottle now, never to bare herself to any of them again, no matter how badly she was hurting or how mad she was. She was a good actress. Toby kicked a patch of dirt, looking down until he felt his friends closer to him. Toby stood behind in the spot where he'd been before, trying to cradle Spencer, his hands shoved into his pockets. "Hey guys," He said with a shrug, kind of awkwardly.

"Where's Caleb?" Spencer asked, eyes darting across the group.

"He's ju—" Hanna started, but as she did Caleb walked through the gate right on cue, balancing a 24-pack of Miller Lite in one hand, and a 12-pack of Smirnoff in the other hand, with a bottle of Fireball whiskey wedged under his arm.

"I said one case!" Hanna slapped his arm as he put down the cases, rubbing his palms on his knees as he slightly leaned forward, catching his breath from carrying the heavy cases. Holden went over and picked one up for him, and Caleb picked up the other case.

"What did you rob a liquor store, bro?" Holden squinted, half laughing.

"I know people." He smiled, and turned to Spencer. "Where should we put this stuff? You don't mind, do you?"

"I think we have a cooler in the pantry, you can just leave 'em by the picnic table for now." She said, going inside. Toby followed her. When she turned around with the big cooler, he was right in front of her. She gasped, nearly running into him. "Jeez, don't scare me like that." She sighed, putting it down and starting to dump ice into the cooler from the freezer.

"Let me help you." He said while he put a hand on her back, but she wiggled it off.

"Fine, you get the ice." She said, standing up straight and shutting the sliding glass door rather roughly as she went back into her backyard.

"Toby's getting the cooler," she explained, rocking forward on her toes and back on her feet. She looked around at all of them. I wonder what will happen if Toby and I don't fix this. I wonder what he's told them about me, which of them know which secrets. I wonder where everyone will be in September. I wonder if they're all happy.

"I got the ice," Toby said, carrying the cooler out and helping Caleb dump the bottles in. Spencer just looked over at them, longingly. There was the boy who knew all of her secrets. Even the dirtiest and darkest ones. From the birthmark in the crease where her thigh met her torso; to the scabbing flesh she'd drawn herself; to the nasty things her parents said about her, and which ones of them he thought were true. He was with her when she almost overdosed on Adderall and when she cried about her family, she drunkenly told him about how unpretty she felt in the skin she was trapped in. He could destroy her if he wanted to. He had all the power in the world. And there he was, standing right there. Just looking back at her, drinking his beer, and worrying his big doofy head off about her, and she knew it, too.

Spencer as lost in her thoughts when she was snapped back to reality with the sound of cans clicking open simultaneously, and someone saying her name over and over.

"Spencer, aren't you going to have one?" Hanna said, holding a beer can out towards Spencer.

"Huh?" Spencer's eyebrows lowered. "Oh, uhm, thanks." She said, taking the can from Hanna and popping it open.

"Are you alright?" Aria's nose crinkled up when she asked, taking a sip of her beer. Aria was intuitive, and saw the way Spencer and Toby were acting, both separately and with one another.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Spencer took a sip of her own beer. "Why wouldn't I be?" She said, pulling at her shorts, suddenly self-conscious that her scars were peeking through, even though she had checked 100 times before leaving the house this morning that her shorts were long enough and her scars were high enough that it wouldn't matter.

"I don't know, that's why I was asking." Aria said, catching Spencer watching Toby again. But she decided to let it be. It was still early in the night.

"I'm just happy we could do this tonight." Spencer said as if she were speaking about something much more serious than the group sitting around in her backyard. She smiled, gripping her drink with both hands.

Hanna and Aria made a face at one another, because she did seem a bit eerie, a bit off.

"I'm going to go get the boys back over here so we can start the movie," Hanna said, skipping away and immediately gluing herself to Caleb, and getting another drink from him.

"I'm glad you invited us." Aria smiled warmly. "You have a really cool backyard."

"Thanks," Spencer shrugged, effortlessly lowering herself in one fluid motion down to the ground, sitting on the big sheet she'd laid out on the lawn near the collection of lawn chairs. Aria sat down next to her and put her hand on Spencer's knee and squeezed.

"Whatever it is, it'll blow over." She nodded.

"But—" Spencer wanted to argue.

"You don't have to admit it, I can just see it. But whatever it is, it'll be okay. If you wanna talk about it, we can…but we don't have to."

The boys and Hanna came back over, finding their places on the ground and in the chairs. Toby sat on the chair directly behind Spencer, rubbing her shoulder as he passed down the popcorn to them, letting her know he was there but trying to give her space.

Holden and Caleb brought the cooler closer to their seats, and Hanna and Caleb snuggled themselves onto one chair and Holden sat on the ground next to Aria.

They turned on the movie, and the first half was them hushing one another and drunken giggles during all the serious parts. Spencer had leaned back, wedging herself between Toby's legs. He smiled a little feeling her settle. After a little bit, he pushed himself down and sat on the ground behind her so she could lean her back on his chest, and he could hold her hand and smell her hair. She didn't say anything, but it did make her feel a little better.

He didn't say a word, afraid to ruin the moment. He just smiled as he held his girl, rubbing circles on her arm with his thumb, his mouth leaving his breath in her hair and ear.

Aria looked over and smiled, nudging Spencer with her foot playfully before getting up to get herself another drink, and passing out another to Spencer, Holden and Caleb who all asked.

"How many have you had?" Toby whispered at Spencer, half laughing but half concerned.

She leaned back into him like she didn't hear him and took a big sip, holding it up and offering it to him but he declined, so she took another big sip. He kissed the side of her head and held her for the rest of the movie.

By the time the movie was over, Hanna and Caleb were full on making out and Spencer was tipsily (okay, a little more than tipsy, but she had pretty good control) trying to clean up the empty bottles into a plastic bag hung on the door handle to her house. Toby followed her around like a lost little puppy dog, trying to help her clean up.

"I've got it," she grabbed the cans from his hands. "Go hang out," when she smiled, her eyes closed halfway and he knew she was drunk.

"Just trying to help," he said, putting his hands up as he walked away backwards, still looking at her, before spinning around and sitting with Holden and Aria, who were throwing popcorn at Caleb and Hanna to make them stop tonguing one another. Toby was getting annoyed now that she was ignoring him and being spiteful, when he wanted to fix what had happened.

Caleb finally sat upright and reached for the bottle of Fireball whiskey. "Shots, anyone?"

"Yeah, Toby really looks like he needs to lighten up." Hanna said with her eyebrows raised.

"I'll pass," Toby said, picking up the spilled popcorn and putting it in a napkin.

"Me too, one of us needs to stop drinking so we can drive home." Hanna said grabbing a water bottle from her purse.

"I'll take one," Spencer said walking back over to the group.

"There we go, here's a team player." Caleb smiled and poured one for her and one for himself. "Anyone else?" He said as he handed it to her. Everyone else was finishing off their other drinks and shook their heads no. "Suit yourselves," he said, hitting his cup against Spencer's in a "cheers" kind of motion as they both tilted their heads back and swallowed the spicy liquor.

Spencer held her cup out. "One more?" She smiled a little devilishly at Caleb.

"Are you sure?" Caleb made a face like his chest was still burning - because it was. Spencer's was too, but that was what she liked about it. It made her feel warm all over.

"You're telling me you can't do another one?" She made a face at him, challenging him.

"Fine." he started to pour.

"Actually, I'll have one too." Aria said, crushing her empty beer can.

"Me too, what the Hell." Holden smiled.

"That's what I'm talking about." Caleb said pouring a few more and they all took them down on Hanna's count to three.

It didn't take long before half the bottle was gone and the group was a giggling, burping mess. Hanna was DJing from her phone and they all danced and slurred secrets. Hanna was sitting with Spencer and Caleb, leaning on Caleb's shoulder while Aria made Holden dance with her. When Hanna finally convinced Caleb to dance, Spencer turned around and realized Toby wasn't behind her. In fact, he wasn't in her yard at all.

xx

Toby was getting annoyed and upset. Spencer was drinking too much, and he knew it was because she was upset. Because of him. She would rather drown herself in alcohol than talk to him about it. He was so mad at himself for letting those words come out. He knew Spencer almost better than he knew anybody else, almost better than he knew herself, but he could barely imagine what his words caused in her mind. All he knew was that it was not good. He wanted all his friends to leave, he just wanted to shake the truth out of Spencer. He was trying to keep a level head, but the context and the current setting was not helping. He felt guiltier wanting everyone to leave, wanting Spencer alone when she was finally socializing, but then again not because he knew she wasn't as happy as she looked. He may not know what she is thinking, but he knew the sad smile when he saw it. The smile that didn't seem like a sad smile until you saw how beautiful a real one was. The smile that had the biggest turned up lips and the dullest eyes.

Toby had walked around the house and was sitting against the side of her house, his legs extended so they were against the gate. He had his head back, looking up, looking like he had no idea where he was or what was going on. He lit up a cigarette and took a long drag before blowing out the smoke slowly. Aria quietly slipped around the side of the house once she'd saw he didn't come back after just a moment and sat next to him without saying a word. He passed her the cigarette to take a drag before giving it back to him and coughing once, no words exchanged. They were that close.

"I already tried Spencer, but she wouldn't budge. Ya know, I don't like that she won't tell me but I do respect that girls' ability to keep a secret. Even after three shots and however many drinks…" Aria laughed a little, her cheeks were warm. She was coming down a bit from her boozy adrenaline and getting to the sleepy phase of drunkenness. "So it's your turn. What happened?" She said sitting up a little more, taking her best friend's hand and rubbing his arm to comfort him.

"Nothing." He sighed. "Everything," he said looking at her. "I don't know, we had a fight before you all got here. It got bad, and I said something I really shouldn't have. I mean, it's kind of true, but it was really hurtful."

"Sometimes people need to hear the truth," Aria suggested.

"This wasn't like that," he explained, and Aria gave him a puzzled look.

"Spencer's…broken." Toby explained, taking another long drag before continuing. "She's got a lot of skeletons in her closet. She plays it off well, most days…but she's…really fucked up." He laughed the uncomfortable kind of laugh that comes out when all's gone wrong and you've got nothing else to do but laugh. Or cry. But he chose to laugh, taking yet another puff.

"That's terrible," Aria laughed back. "Is that what you said to her, you doof?" She said, tousling his hair.

"No…it was worse. I don't want to even say it again. And there'd be too much to explain. I just…I'm worried about her. She's upset with me and upset about what I said but she won't talk to me. And we need to talk about it. I know she's not okay. And I'm afraid she'll…I just don't know what she's capable of, anymore." he was talking fast.

"You don't mean…" Aria trailed off. "You really think she'd do something—"

"She's done some stuff before…recently. Aria, you cannot tell anybody I told you that. It would make everything so much worse. I just…I'm scared. I don't know if she'd ever talk to you, but maybe just be there to listen, just in case? I can't lose her…" he started to cry a little into his best friends shoulder.

Aria rubbed his head and kissed his forehead. "I wouldn't have it any other way. I had a feeling…she said some weird stuff a few weeks ago with Hanna and I…I don't remember what she said, but it made a flag go up. It was about you. Something about you finding out she wasn't who you thought she was."

He sighed. "I don't think I can talk about this anymore. I just want to talk to her. God, why can't this be easy? Just an easy last semester. I should be worrying about prom and what to get her for graduation and how we'll schedule cross-country visits…not…this."

"So talk to her. But you can still plan those things. Have you asked her to prom yet?"

"She's my girlfriend…"

"So?" Aria made a face at him.

"So I don't have to ask…I think it's understood we wouldn't go with anyone else."

"You should still ask. Do something romantic. Oooooh let me help? Please please please?" she leaned into him excitedly, back to the tipsy giggling.

"Fine, you just tell me what to do. But not before the rest of this gets cleaned up."

"Maybe some normalcy will do her some good, Tobes."

"You're right." he sighed, standing up, and seeing a slight fade in Aria's smile for a moment, a slight emptiness looming behind her eyes. Quasi-Spencer eyes.

"Wait, what happened to you?" He held her shoulders so she wouldn't walk away, and also to comfort her.

"I kissed Holden…" she blushed. "Like full on tongue-down-throat-while-he-tried-to-talk-to-me-about-video-games kiss."

"Finally," he playfully slapped her arm. "No, it was embarrassing. I hope I don't remember this tomorrow." She said putting her hands on her head. "Actually, I hope he doesn't remember."

"But what if he liked it?" Toby smirked.

"Shut up." She pushed him into the house.

"So your plan was to hide out over here?" He made a face. "Mature."

"And yet you were doing the same thing." She made a face and they pulled each other back around the house, Aria laughing, and Toby actually smiling.

xx

Spencer watched Aria and Toby walk over together, laughing. It made her jealous in the kind of way she wasn't proud of. Her better judgement knew that both of them cared far too much for her, and Aria liked Holden way too much - hell, she'd just seen Aria kiss him like he was going off to war, but she didn't like the thought of them being together without her for so long. Even if he was her friend first. Spencer took another swing of Fireball right from the bottle.

"Ayyyy, easy." Caleb said taking the bottle from her and patting her back as she made a face as the burning sensation settled behind her sternum and coated her insides.

She ignored Caleb and marched over to Toby, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him similarly to the way Aria and Holden kissed: forcefully, desperately, and drunkenly.

Aria watched the couple before rounding up her friends. "It's getting late. Han, can you still drive? I can call my brother if not."

"I haven't had anything in hours, I'm good." Hanna said, digging her keys from her purse. Holden was quiet, waving silently as he started towards the gate, digging his hands in his pockets. The kiss had made him all tongue-tied.

Toby narrowed his eyes and Aria made a face at him as if to say See?! It's all weird and screwed up and he's being super weird!

"Thanks Spencer," Aria smiled, hugging her halfway since she was still wrapped around Toby, and leaning up to kiss Toby on the cheek. "I'll see you guys Monday."

"Bye Spence, let's definitely do this again soon." Caleb smiled. "Definitely," Hanna agreed and followed out the herd. Spencer locked the gate after them.

"I'm staying," Toby announced as she came back from the gate.

"I want you to." Spencer agreed.

"I don't w—" he stopped, he had prepared himself for her to try and kick him out. She raised her eyebrows because she didn't know why he was arguing with her. "Good." He said nodding.