It's going to be a great rest of the evening kept echoing in her head. It felt like a challenge to the Universe to make something go horribly wrong. But Spencer was determined to have fun. She knew how much this night meant to Toby. And she truly was having a good time. She snuck a little more from Hanna's flask and spun around the dancefloor with Toby and their friends all night. She even danced with Holden and got to know him a little better while Aria danced with Toby.

Then, in what seemed like a blink of an eye, the principal was on stage congratulating the seniors for making it this far, and their impending graduation and the week of celebrations to come. Most of them were not paying attention and were loudly chattering away.

"And now, if everyone could take their seats," he said louder into the microphone. "It's time to announce the Prom King and Queen, who will share the next dance." Spencer couldn't keep her eyes off of Toby. She was across the room getting a water and he was already at their table. She snapped out of it when she felt someone crash into her causing her to spill some of her water on herself. She looked up and it was Alison, who was already a few steps ahead and was looking back with a sneer on her face. Spencer just scoffed. She has everything she could ever need. She didn't even want Toby again until she saw I had him. What does she have to prove?

Spencer just shook it off and quickly headed to her seat next to Toby. The giddy look in his eyes melted her heart. She knew secretly he would be really hurt if he didn't win. She hoped how she had affected his reputation and what people thought of him because of her and whatever they thought they were doing together, wouldn't make him lose. She would feel like it was her fault. She felt like she was overheating all of a sudden.

"And the winner for Prom King is… oh, no surprise here… Toby Cavanaugh! Toby, why don't you come up here."

Spencer was so dazed she didn't even realize the winner was announced until he got up from his seat, squeezed her hand and kissed her head before heading up to the center of the dancefloor.

Hanna was re-applying her lipstick. "You know, you might actually be in the running in a shocking turn of events," she said gesturing toward Spencer without missing a beat. "Drama and rumors like that definitely get people talking."

"Hanna!" Aria hit her arm.

"What, I'm just saying. Is it so wrong for me to want that to happen for our girl? Omg, how cute would they look on the Yearbook page." She smiled.

Spencer blushed. "Well either way I'm glad Toby kept his streak." She had a stupid smile on her face. She wondered if Hanna was right.

"And the winner for Prom Queen is… Alison DiLaurentis!"

Spencer choked on her soda as she saw Ali go over to Toby. The look on her face was pure evil. But Toby looked like he was whiter than a ghost, and definitely was searching for Spencer's eyes in the room, but everyone was crowding around now to get a good shot. Hanna was right, they did love drama, and drama was Ali's middle name, and her and Toby's breakup last year was still on of the hottest topics.

"Alright you two, why don't you lead us in this dance?" He crowned them both as a U2 song blared through the speakers.

Spencer got up and stood near the exit, away from the crowd. Hanna showed up next to her without a beat. "Hey… it's just a stupid dance. It doesn't mean anything. Dance with me?"

"I'm fine." She sipped her drink and watched them sway in the center as the photographer took photos close up and Ali smiled like a pageant girl.

"You don't look—"

"I said I'm fine." She leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, it's just… like, I knew this would happen. I knew tonight wouldn't be good news. I didn't want to come. But I did because Toby wanted to… and I hate to feel like I shouldn't have—" she cut off when she looked up again. They had gone from middle school dancing with a foot between their bodies, to being close together and she saw Ali go in for a kiss and lots of commotion from the crowd.

"Oh, hell no" Spencer slammed her drink down at the table near the door. "Tell Toby I'm sorry. I can't do this." She ran out of the room. She was too fast for Hanna to catch up.

xx

"What the fuck Ali" he pushed her off. "You know I'm dating Spencer."

"It's prom… we're King and Queen… like we always said. How can you still be thinking about that slut? I don't know what she did, but—"

"No. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'm not explaining, again… it's not about what she did or didn't do. It's about how she's an actual nice, real, caring person and not a mean, fake bitch like you always were. I'm outta here."

"Toby… no, okay, fine, sorry," she rolled her eyes. "Let's just finish the dance." She said insistently under her breath and held his arm.

He quickly pulled his arm away. "No way. Nope. Fuck off." He ran to the corner where he saw Hanna standing. "Where is she?

"She ran that way – I checked the bathroom she's not in there."

"Fuck…" he ran through the halls and finally found her in the courtyard with Hanna's flask.

"Hey you… he sheepishly came up to her and looked down at her. "Mind if I sit with you?"

She shook her head no and took another swig. She didn't say anything.

"Spence, you have to believe me… Ali kissed me, I know what it looked like—"

"I know." She cut him off. "I know you didn't do anything."

Really? He thought she's not upset… she's not crying… should I be worried about the lack of reaction? "Are you sure you're okay? Why did you run out?"

"Because," she took a deep breath. I didn't want to watch it happening. I didn't want to hear what other people would say. About you and her. You and me. I heard someone say they'd wrote my name in on the ballot because they thought it was crazy how I came out of left field and seduced you using math. Like, what?" she laughed. "It hurt seeing you with her. Because it looked the way things are supposed to be. And I know, it doesn't matter, and she's a terrible person and made you a bad person and miserable, too… but like, I could never look like that with you. I know you don't care and I don't know if I do either, but I just didn't want to watch the storybook version of your life without me in it."

He shook his head and touched her face. "God, you're amazing." He hugged her and took the flask from her. "Dance with me?" he took off the crown and put it on her head. "You're the one I wanted to see in a crown, princess." He teased and she smiled.

"There's no music…" she laughed.

"And you're going to let that stop you?" he teased and held out his hand for her to take.

Aria, Holden, Caleb and Hanna came out with all of their things, including Spencer and Toby's. "Guys…is everything okay?" Aria asked.

"We're fine," Spencer leaned against his chest as they swayed. "You didn't have to leave the dance."

"Well it's almost over anyway, and things got awkward. So figured it was best to hit the road." Caleb laughed.

They met their limo again and as they were climbing in, they saw Ali storm out with her new posse screaming and throwing a tantrum. "Who do they think they ARE" she yelled as some other kids laughed. Spencer couldn't help but laugh, too. Ali deserved that. She didn't mean to be petty, but she won.

xx

They had originally planned to take the train into NYC that night, but they all decided to do something more low-key instead. They'd gone to a diner in their fancy clothes, and ended up parting ways after hours of laughing and lots of coffees.

"Can you believe Aria went home with Holden? Well, I can, but wow… I'm so happy for her." She laughed. "I wonder want's going to happen." Holden and Aria had separated themselves from the group and they all went home shortly after. Spencer went back to Toby's.

"I think I have a pretty good idea what's happening… I kinda thought we'd be having a similar end to the night," he teased and she laughed.

"Just help me?" she was reaching behind her trying to unzip her dress but couldn't reach.

"You don't have to ask me twice." He kissed her neck and down her back as he unzipped the gown.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" she spun around to face him.

"I did…I'm glad you came…and I'm sorry for—"

"Stop it. Stop apologizing. I really did have a good time, honest. I'm glad I came, too."

He was just staring at her in awe.

"Whatttt?" she giggled and covered herself up as she stepped out of her dress and pulled on his t-shirt.

"I'm just so proud of you tonight…you stood up for yourself… and you didn't get upset about Ali…"

"That's not true. I did get upset. I left the room. I cried a little. But it's over. I know it wasn't your fault and I know she just has it out for me… you know, Ali and I were kinda friendly when we were little. Her grandma lived a few houses away from me and watched her after school sometimes. We would play outside sometimes. Her brother was always kind of a bully but had a soft spot for me for a while because he liked Melissa. But then she wanted to cheat off my paper in class and I said no… ever since, I've been Freaky, Geeky Hastings." She laughed a little.

"Really? Well that honestly doesn't surprise me. If I would have known you sooner… I wish I would have, because we would have been friends."

"I don't think we would have." She shrugged "You weren't always so gentle." The thing about being the freak or being invisible, is that you see everyone else and everything that goes on, even if they don't see you. "You used to hang out with them. You and your friends knocked all my books down and made me miss the bus for the 7th grade camping trip." She laughed. "You're not that person anymore."

His mouth hung open. "That was you? Oh my god, no. It can't be… I was going through… my mom was… I was an ass." I can't believe some of this… some of this is my fault.

Great, she thought, seeing the look on his face as if able to read his thoughts. Now he's going to feel worse. You shouldn't have said that. "I know you are obviously a different person now… and I know you were just a silly kid and didn't mean to hurt anyone… it was funny at the time. I get that. People like Ali, they mean to hurt people, and she especially likes to paint a target on me. I never thought you were like that, not for one day, not even back then. I remember you looking back and actually looking sad. No one else looked back."

"You're just… you're just saying that."

"I am not. Are you calling me a liar?" she teased.

He was taking a deep breath and seemed exasperated.

"I didn't mean to make you upset. I think it's funny. All of it. I… I love seeing the man you've become, too. Come on, let's go to bed."

"But…" he held her by the waist. "I'm not tired."

"I didn't say sleep." She kissed him, and climbed on top of him. "I've been on the pill for a while now and we've still been… doubly careful. We don't have to keep doing that."

"Are you sure?" His heart was racing.

"I've never been more sure… I don't want anything between us. Not anymore. I want to feel…you…inside me. All of you" Her cheeks were red as she undressed herself in front of him, begging for him to take her, and to take it to the next level of intimacy.

He just nodded and followed her lead, trying his hardest to concentrate on not finishing when they'd barely started. This was uncharted territory for him, too, and God, did it feel good. After a few more minutes, he couldn't take it anymore, and held her hips close to him as he released inside of her, still holding her in that position as he came down from the high, her legs and middle trembling at the delicate feeling of him twitching inside of her when it happened, driving her absolutely crazy. It wasn't as intense as it sometimes was, not a full blown, big, noisy, overtaking orgasm, but a climax nonetheless. But the intimacy and newness of it all made it feel better than all the other times combined.

She wanted to go clean up, but also didn't want to leave his arms. She rubbed his arm and exchanged little kisses and planned to sneak out when he fell asleep, but she fell asleep, too.

xx

The next morning, Spencer was up, showered and dressed before he was even out of bed.

"Whyyyy did you get up." He groaned. "Come back…what time is it? 8?" he picked up his alarm clock. "No way, come back to bed." He begged and sat up.

"I have to go, I'll be back later, promise." She leaned to give him a kiss. "Last night was… amazing. Believe me, I can't wait to lay with you again and be with you again."

"I kinda thought I mighta dreamt that." He gave her that smirk that made people melt and be charmed.

"You most definitely didn't." she grinned.

"You're sure… you're okay…and that was okay?" he got out of bed and stood in front of her.

"Toby… I wanted that for a long time. That's the whole reason I got the stupid pills in the first place. It liked feeling you…" she blushed and leaned into his chest. "I gotta go" she kissed him. "But let me come by later."

He nodded. "Always." He tousled her hair and let her go. "Where are you going, anyway?"

"Uhm, just have some things to do. I have dance class."

"I thought you were gonna take off?"

"No one could cover… I promise, I'll be back soon." She kissed him once more and left.

xx

She ran into the house and slowed down once she saw her parents and sister at the table.

"Good morning," she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Did you just come home?" Melissa squinted her eyes. "Slut." She muttered under her breath.

"Last night was prom, we went out after and the girls crashed at Aria's house." She shrugged. She knew she often slept over Toby's, but honestly, no one usually noticed.

Melissa rolled her eyes.

"Mom, Dad, you remember the parents' appreciation dinner is tomorrow, right? I know you're in court so maybe can't come, Mom, but thought maybe Dad... are you going to come?" she turned to her dad. "If you could even just stop by… the dance…" she would usually never ask about this stuff. But she couldn't help but really want this. She brought it up months ago when the invitations and senior week schedule went out and he promised.

"I got the hint… you left the invitation on my desk… and on our nightstand. I said I would come, didn't I? Come on, Spencer, cut it out."

"Well, yes…sorry. I just know how you always said this stuff is important."

He just shrugged and continued to eat his breakfast.

She smiled wide. "Thank you, Dad… I really appreciate it." She figured since the whole UPenn situation was sorted, maybe things were turning around more than she thought. Plus, Toby said she was different, and maybe that was true.

She remembered how her Dad told her sister that this was the turning point into adulthood, and she was going to UPenn, and how important education was on the same celebration night a few years ago when it was Melissa's turn. Plus, this event was about the parents, not necessarily about her…

She spent the day at home, cleaning the whole house, going above and beyond like she used to be useful to her parents. She even helped Melissa and her mother sort through some wedding planning papers that needed to be filed.

She was even happy to do it. All of it. Toby was right, she shouldn't care what they thought, and shouldn't base her self-worth on their selfishness. But she'd promised herself she'd give herself until she left the house and turned 18 before she completely gave up. And even if she didn't need it, it didn't mean she didn't want it. She couldn't help it. She could try to not feel the need to depend on the acceptance, but she was a sensitive person, and people mattered to her. Family meant a lot to her. Even if they treated her like crap. They were the people she had. She worried about them and tried to make them happy, even if that meant staying out of their way.

xx

"Where were you?" he said as she drove up to his house once more, he was washing his car.

"I was just at dance, I told you."

"I stopped by and you weren't there. I was going to bring you coffee."

Her cheeks turned red. "Please don't be mad."

"Where were you?"

"I was at home… I was talking to my parents about the dinner tomorrow… and was picking out my outfits for the dinner, the picnic, and graduation… it's all just coming up fast."

"Why didn't you let me go with you? Damn it, Spencer, the dinner isn't important… why do you let them hurt you over that."

"Actually…my dad is going to come." She smiled like a little girl.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "He said that?"

"He promised, more than once. He's just so pleased and surprised about my going to UPenn, I think…"

He shifted uneasily. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up…if…"

"Toby, you're amazing… the best. And you make me so happy and teach me new things every day, even things about myself… and I understand you worry about me… because I worry about you too… but you can't save me. You can't protect me from the world. Just keep being with me and that's enough."

"I'd at least like to try… I think I've done a pretty good job."

"I'm just saying… I'm not as fragile as you think I am or as maybe I once was. I promise I'm okay. Come on, let's do something fun."

She barely finished getting the words out when he threw her over his shoulder and started tickling her, bringing her to his truck, and giving her a big kiss before getting in on his side, and holding her hand the whole drive.

For the first time, she truly felt carefree and calm.

A/N: I'm back, bitches, and I know everything – A.

Just kidding, I can't apologize enough for not following through on my promise to update. The longer time went on, the more I felt like people wouldn't care, or that I'd lost my touch.

In the year+ I didn't update, I lost both of my grandmothers, my boyfriend and I became long distance because of his job and I was flying halfway across the country every other weekend, which burnt me out. We got engaged though (!) and he moved back and we now live together and are about a year our from our wedding day. He knows about my writing, and has been begging me to go back to it for months. I finally listened.

Honestly, I never stopped thinking about these characters or this story. Everything that is happening is what I planned from the beginning. And there's still quite a bit left. I can't wait to share it with you.

Now more, than ever, I need your feedback to know if this is still interesting, if you feel like my writing is the same or changed, etc. I am so self conscious after all this time. L

So much love to anyone who still sees this. I promise it won't be a year until the next update.