I'm terribly late, I know... I'm naughty

yes I have an Alice in Wonderland addiction, I'll get help one day...

I should have posted yesterday but I was too tired from the party the day before...

little update one the Poll:

Damon: 81%

Jeremy: 9%

OC: 9%

I'm suddenly wondering where that other 1% went...

anyway, I hope you enjoy next part...

POV Damon

Stalking Stefan was better then watching Oprah, not that I watch Oprah or anything. Just the way he so desperately tries to hold onto his humanity. Newsflash for mister Stefan Salvatore. The human boat thingy, sailed a long time ago. You're dead, live with it…

How he just hovers around the house of that Elena girl. Stalker… okay so I'm following already the entire day but I have an excuse. I'm a big brother looking out for his baby brother… As if. Just thinking of that line made me laugh. He doomed me, why would I care for him?

So here he was at her door, finally gathered enough courage to go to her door. The shy little guy. You would almost pity him…almost. Lucky for him he didn't had to have the courage to knock because the door swings open before he has the chance to. There she is, Elena. Okay looking at her hurts. Especially knowing Katherine is under the ground stuck in a bloody tomb.

Blood makes you squeamish? Well hello to the understatement of the year. If only she knew what Stefan would do… Small town, good return, better then admitting you're stalking. Wait what did I miss? He got her diary and he didn't read it. Is he stupid? I wonder what Katherine ever saw in him? The guy doesn't know a thing about women…

Well apparently the not reading of the diary was a plus for the girl. Good for him. I tune out the boring conversation but can't help but grin when he can't cross the threshold without an invitation. I take my cell and stare at the screen. "no messages". I thought Sam had something important to say…

"Where are you?"

The words were ready in a text but I couldn't bring myself to send I to her. She would think I'm worried and she made it perfectly clear she didn't need me. If she did need me, she would have taken me with her. I decided when she left me that she would be the person to take the first step from now on. Her birthday is tomorrow. I can't believe it has been a year already since I saw her.

Tomorrow I might text her first, I might, not making any promises. I was so lost in thoughts that I could only hide behind the tree just in time for the love birds not to see me. What's wrong with me? I followed them slowly, not drawing any attention. Wouldn't want to scare them now do we?

They go to this Mystic Grill bar/restaurant place. I think I could use a Bourbon. Seriously Stefan his sense for self preservation is lacking. He didn't even feel me come in or sit behind him at the bar. Okay so I was sitting in a dark corner where no one apart from the barman saw me but still. We, vampires, should be careful. Especially here, that is if the council still exists. Let's not try just yet to run into them.

Lame high school talk. Ow do get their pity with telling out parents died. Do tell them too how you are the reason our father is dead and he is in his way the reason we are dead. Enough drama in our family to make a series about. No siblings that you talk to? Ow Stefan if you miss me, you could call. I'm pretty sure, you're happy I didn't talk for so long. But I had Sam to look after.

Where did that come from? Sam was just a distraction. To keep my mind busy. She was different and I couldn't kill her because she could have been my twin. Yes I made sure she was alright at all times. There were times when I decided it was time for me to move on and let her be. But my conscious mind always brought me back to her. I didn't last longer then 3 days. Never…

After 3 days I would find her right where I left her. In our last house on the floor, where she collapsed after I told her I was leaving. She couldn't take it, couldn't accept it that someone would leave her again. Someone who had seen her and didn't turn their eyes away. That's how she called it. Being a ghost while being alive. When you live on the streets, people would rather pretend that you're not there then acknowledge you.

They just want to save themselves the regret of wasting valuable time. That day was the first day I was anger at her. I hated it how she saw herself. Never enough, always lacking. How she refused to let me buy her things. She would always throw things away when she thought I wasn't looking. She would never let me spoil her.

Only the car. That one, she accepted under the promise that I would let her repay me. The stubbornness was endearing but sometimes you would want to shout at her to grasp some reality. To make her accept at least some things. To make her feel important too. If only I could meet her mother and talk some sense in this woman for turning away from this girl.

Life was never a given, it had to be taken. That was my way of thinking, it was the only thing I know. That is, before I met her. She learned me that some things were to be fought for. Some things could never be accomplished just by taking it away from someone. But as much as I learned, I never used it.

I had been like this for over 145 years. I couldn't just change my ways. I've been the same for too long. But Sam would try. But in my mind, or is it my heart, I know that she couldn't stay forever. When I would get Katherine out of that tomb, Sam would have to leave. I could not be with her after that. Surely I could make sure she would be alright. Het bank account would still be hers. She will always be able to count on me but it would be different.

The last years she was my main focus because I had nothing else. That comet had to pass before I could even get to Katherine. It felt wrong to think of Sam merely as a distraction. It was like I was fooling myself. She had giving me hope to hold on. A reason to keep going till that one day came for Katherine to be by my side again.

But she would never listen. Sam didn't want to hear of Katherine. Stefan, my family and life over the years, yes but never Katherine. But Sam would always look at me with eyes that were holding secrets. Like she once wisely said out of the blue "Secrets are there to keep the mind alert". But what was so important that she had to keep it from me?

What was more important then trusting me?

Let's all imagine things that are more important then trusting Damon... XD

hope you liked it, we'll meet again tomorrow

Fairfarren all (I couldn't resist)

XD