"Willow, are you listening?"

Willow's bored eyes rolled in Tara's direction.

"Can't I just copy off you?" she whispered in annoyance.

Tara arched an eyebrow sharply.

"When have you ever copied schoolwork a day in your life?"

Willow seemed put-out by the accusation and sat up straighter in the circle of people they were sitting in.

"It's not schoolwork. It's…class…work…" she trailed off lamely and pouted, "And they're talking about working with birth parents. Not the situation we're in."

"Ours is unique," Tara pressed softly, "Most people here haven't even met the child or children they're going to foster. They're signing up to bring children into their homes who need them, to care for them just so they can go back to their birth parents. It's a very difficult emotional road to journey through and they need the right tools."

"Is there a question over there?" the leader of the session, Mark: a man in his mid-thirties with rolled-up sleeves and hair he was just beginning to let gray, called over to them pointedly.

Willow quickly opened her ring binder.

"No," she said sharply, cheeks flushing at being reprimanded by any kind of teacher, "Sorry…sir."

She quickly clicked her pen and hit it against the page, ready to write.

Mark pushed his chair back.

"Let's try out some role-play situations. What do we do if a birth parent comes to the door looking to see their child outside of their sanctioned visitation time?"

Willow hung back so she wouldn't be chosen. She'd had enough of Drama in college. Tara, instead, volunteered and paired up with a man in his 50s who was taking the class with his wife.

"Great work," Mark called out, looking at Tara curiously when the session was finishing up, "See you all next week. Review your materials when you get a chance."

Tara came back to Willow, who raised an eyebrow.

"That was tough just to watch in a fake environment. What's next week?"

Tara gave a pained smile.

"Learning how to foster a child who's been sexually abused."

Willow's eyes closed heavily.

"I know. It's a lot when it's not even our situation. But we have to," Tara replied softly, "For Kayden."

Willow nodded solemnly.

"For Kayden."

"Dad!"

Willow stood up on her toes to reach up and hug her father in her doorway.

"Welcome home. How was Montreal?"

"Très manifique," Ira replied with a glimmering smile, "I do like this retirement business. I actually get to see the cities I visit!"

Willow smiled.

"Where's Michelle?"

"I'm right here," Michelle replied, following Ira into the house and hugging Willow, "How are you doing Willow?"

"I'm excellent," Willow smiled, "Busy, busy, but good."

Ira clasped his hands together and hung them in front of himself.

"We go away for a few weeks and we come home to a new child."

"Bet you weren't expecting that at our age," Willow grinned, then made a calming gesture with her hands, "This meeting is casual, okay? We've been introducing him to everyone in dribs and drabs so it's not too overwhelming."

Ira's brow started to furrow.

"Willow, without sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, what exactly are your intentions with this boy?"

Willow gave a gentle shrug.

"He needed a home. We have a home. We haven't really gone beyond that for the moment."

"Is he troubled?" Ira asked with concern.

"Aren't we all?" Willow quipped.

Ira opened his mouth.

"I mean—"

"I know what you mean," Willow cut him off quietly, "He has a troubled background but he's not a troubled boy. Please be gentle with him."

Ira glanced at Michelle, then back at Willow, and nodded once.

"Understood."

Willow smiled and made a motion to follow her and brought them into the living room where the kids were all already sitting around, throwing cushions at each other and whatnot. Their attention was pulled away as the adults entered.

"Gramps!" JJ grinned.

"Ganpy!" Robyn beamed.

"Zayde!" Lily and Emily said in perfect unison.

All four faced pivoted to Michelle at the same moment.

"Grandma!"

There was a bombardment of hugs and Ira handed out mittens with maple leaves on them and little moose soft toys to the younger kids.

"And I brought you all some maple syrup for your pancakes," Michelle smiled and produced a bottle, which she handed to Willow, "Don't drop that, it's worth more than gold."

Willow smiled nervously.

Ira approached Kayden, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and handed him a pair of the mittens.

"Hello, Kayden. I'm Ira, I'm Willow's father. We just returned from Canada."

"H-Hello," Kayden greeted nervously, standing up respectfully and looking down at the mittens like he was handed the holy grail, "Thank you, sir."

"Oh please, I was called 'sir' enough in my career," Ira smiled warmly.

He shook Kayden's hand firmly. Michelle approached and opened her arms.

"I'm a hugger. Can I hug you?"

Kayden nodded silently but fell into her arms and closed his eyes as they embraced.

"I'm Michelle. I'm Tara's aunt but I'm married to Ira."

"I-It's nice to meet you," Kayden looked between them both.

"It's lovely to meet you," Michelle returned kindly.

Tara walked in then carrying a platter.

"I have bean dip and crudités."

"More like crudilames," Robyn mumbled and Willow shot her a look.

Ira made a show of picking up some dip onto a baby carrot.

"Tara, I must say, the Montréalais have nothing on your cooking."

Tara smiled at him gratefully and noticed Kayden's shoulders were a little tense as he took in all of the family dynamics. She nodded across the room to him.

"Kayden, help me with some drinks?"

Kayden agreed quickly and followed Tara out and into the kitchen.

"You doing okay, honey?" Tara asked casually as she had him fill an ice bucket.

"Yeah," Kayden bobbed his head.

Tara placed a hand on Kayden's back.

"Ira has a big presence but his heart is just as big too."

"I like the mittens," Kayden replied genuinely, "I don't think I've had mittens before."

Tara smiled sadly.

Kayden finished filling the bucket and put it in the sink. He glanced over to Tara.

"How come your aunt is married to your father-in-law?"

"Fate, I like to think," Tara smiled at him, "In this family, we always find each other right when we need to."

Kayden's brow dropped contemplatively while Tara fetched a big bowl from the cabinet and had him hold it. She got a bag of chips from the cabinet and emptied it into the bowl.

"You get to be the hero who brings the chips."

Kayden smiled and flicked his hair out of his eyes.

Tara grabbed the pitcher of sweet tea and together they returned to the rambunctiousness.

Willow and Tara were sharing a rare moment of quiet togetherness on the couch.

The girls were asleep and the boys were quiet upstairs and they just got to sit together cuddled up to watch some mindless television. Sharing a footstool, as was their custom, Tara rested her head on Willow's shoulder and their touching arms joining at the wrist as they watched a nature show.

"Chlamydia is rampant in the koala population, you know," Willow commented.

"Ssh, honey, don't ruin it," Tara replied quietly.

As they were watching, Woofy ran in and sat by their feet. He barked.

"What's up boy?" Willow asked absently, "Did JJ feed you?"

He barked again and both Tara and Willow turned her attention to them.

The squeak of JJ's rubber soles screeched loudly as he hurried down the stairs. He ran in just moments behind Woofy.

"Uh Mom, Momma?" he said nervously, his fingers fidgeting, "Kayden is kinda…freaking out."

Both Tara and Willow sat up fully.

"What do you mean freaking out?" Tara asked.

JJ held up a hand helplessly.

"I…"

Willow and Tara shared a look and promptly jumped up and ran upstairs together.

In his room, Kayden was sitting on the floor hunched over with his legs out. His upper half was rocking back and forth and he was sobbing. His bedclothes were strewn around everywhere and though it could barely be seen, about a foot above the bed some paint had chipped.

"Kayden," Tara said in an indrawn breath of alarm.

They both rushed either side of him and hugged him from all angles.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Tara comforted.

"We're here," Willow echoed in the same tone, "We've got you."

They kept the pressure either side of him, encasing him in their embrace. His sobbing began to slow.

"Can you tell us what's happening?" Willow asked gently.

"Whenever you feel ready," Tara added softly.

Kayden swallowed a few shaky breaths.

"I just…I just found out… that…that…that Tony died. And, I…I don't know, I just feel so weird. I-I hate him but…"

Willow's eyes widened at Tara. Had she known that? Tara looked just as shocked so she guessed not.

"That's big news," Tara guided slowly, carefully, "He was in your life for a long time."

"And involved with a lot of…complicated feelings," Willow tried to supply helpfully. They hadn't covered this in class.

Kayden was silent but his back still hunched with sobs. Tara began to rub it softly.

"Do you remember I told you about my father and what he did to me?" she broached cautiously, "If I heard he died tomorrow, I'm sure I would feel a lot of different emotions too. I would remember how scared I used to feel around him. And I would remember my anger for everything he did."

She sighed softly.

"And I would feel sad for the man he could have been and the relationship we could have had."

She got a lump in her throat.

"And probably a million other things as well," she finished, clearing her throat, "So whatever you're feeling right now, that's okay. You're allowed to feel them."

Willow was busy comforting Kayden with her hands, so she shot Tara a comforting look instead. Tara smiled back sadly but gratefully.

They stayed huddled like that until Kayden was just sitting quietly with his head hung over his body.

"You know what we call this?" Willow asked when she sensed the biggest emotion had passed, "A mom sandwich."

Kayden's head lifted a tad and Tara grinned.

"I saw a smile, Willow," she teased.

"Let me see," Willow ducked her head, "I definitely detect a hint of a smirk. By god, it's growing!"

She gasped as Kayden's lips twitched a bit more.

"It won't stop! It's going to consume us all!"

She shook them all dramatically before settling back with a smile. Kayden sniffled and looked between them with glassy eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to say sorry for letting out your feelings," Tara reassured softly, "That's why we're here."

Kayden's eyes grew downcast.

"Lily has ADHD, did you know that?" Willow cut in and Kayden shook his head, "She controls it really well. But that's because we spent a lot of years working to get her there."

"And I had post-natal depression after giving birth to the twins," Tara said with a different kind of sad smile, "I still take medication to help with it and do therapy like I told you."

Willow nodded.

"So big emotions? They don't scare us. Especially from any of you kids. Those are our job."

Kayden glanced off to the side where Willow and Tara first noticed the chipped paint. Tara took Kayden's right hand and laid it out flat, spotting tiny little nicks where he must have punched the wall, though probably not very hard.

"Nothing that can't be painted over," she said and held his hand in hers, "Does it hurt?"

Kayden just shook his head.

"Let's make sure we figure out ways to let your feelings out without you getting hurt."

"You're our number one priority," Willow added quickly, "When I feel upset, I like to do things that make me feel good to distract me."

Tara nodded.

"Yes, like I like to do my gardening."

"And I like to read or play occasional havoc with the electrical circuitry of government buildings," Willow said in a chirpy tone, then dropped it when Tara gave her a look, "But not in a long time."

Tara looked back down at Kayden.

"What makes you feel good?"

Kayden gulped.

"Listening to music."

"Why don't you go do that?" Willow encouraged gently.

"I'll bring you up some cookies and warm milk to help you sleep," Tara promised and kissed his forehead, then stood up to remake his bed for him.

Kayden stood awkwardly to the side but gave them both a hug when offered.

He found the little pair of earbuds that had come with his new phone and unspooled them so he could listen to some music. His hands were still shaking and his cheeks were still red but he was focusing on his task.

Willow and Tara walked back down to the second level where JJ was leaning against the wall at the base of the stairwell trying to look casual while failing to hide a look of concern.

"It's okay, honey," Tara reassured while rubbing his arm, "Just needed a hug,"

"Thanks for telling us," Willow added gently, "You can go to bed now."

"Should I say something?" JJ asked, nervously biting the corner of his lip.

Tara shook her head.

"No, sweetheart. You should just go to bed."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight. We love you."

JJ's shoulders eased.

"Love you," Willow echoed as she rubbed his arm, "Sweet dreams."

"Night, Mom. Night Momma," JJ replied with a squeeze for both of them.

Willow and Tara stayed to make sure he made the precarious dozen steps or so upstairs safely before making their way to their room.

Willow sank down on the end of the bed.

"Tony is his uncle, right? The one who…" she paused, jaw setting angrily, "Why the heck weren't we told he died?"

"We should have been," Tara replied from across the room with her arms crossed over her chest, "That communication moratorium between me and his team is forgetting that I'm — we're — still the parents."

"Guess you don't know how he died, then?" Willow asked with a raised eyebrow.

Tara shook her head.

"No. There were no significant medical conditions in his history."

Willow's eyes flashed black.

"I hope it was painful."

Tara pushed herself off of the dresser.

"That's not helpful."

She came over and sat beside Willow, taking her hand.

They just sat and held each other for a moment before Tara pulled away.

"I'm going to go get him his snack and see if he wants to chat now he's calmed down a bit."

"Good idea," Willow nodded, "Poor kid. But I've never found a problem an Oreo couldn't solve."

Tara smiled softly and left for the kitchen.

Willow closed her eyes and wished she could do more.

Tara found out the reason why she had been kept in the dark about the death of Antony Miller about seven seconds after angrily bursting into the team meeting demanding to know what was going on.

They had a pretty good excuse.

They didn't know.

Tara had had to sit down sheepishly while some information was gathered and they learned Antony had only been pronounced dead about an hour before JJ had come downstairs to get help.

It became pretty obvious, pretty quickly that the only way Kayden could have known that fast was if someone told him. And the only person who could have known was Roxy, Kayden's aunt. Whom he most certainly shouldn't be having contact with right now.

"Tara, have you told him not to be in contact while there's an investigation going on?" Stephanie asked with slight exasperation.

Tara felt like a schoolchild being scolded.

"I had no reason to believe he wanted any."

Stephanie raised an eyebrow.

"Are you monitoring his contact, at least?"

Tara straightened her back in the chair.

"He's never had a phone before. Something that was his. I wasn't going to make it seem like I didn't trust him. Obviously, we have parental controls in place to stop anything untoward. I can't control if an incoming call or message comes into him, except to block the number which we obviously will be doing now."

"Tara…" Stephanie sighed heavily, "Obviously this isn't an appropriate discussion for a team lead meeting. Kayden's caseworker will be in touch to schedule a meeting with you. Moving on."

Tara felt slapped in the face and hoped her red cheeks didn't give her away. She got through the meeting and indeed the whole day by doing her version of what she'd encouraged Kayden to do the night before and kept herself busy with work. It wasn't like there wasn't always plenty of it.

She was at home when the girls arrived off the school bus and was happier to busy herself with motherhood. That was the kind of endless work she was happier to embrace.

Not much later, JJ announced himself loudly as being home and came into the kitchen to throw open the fridge. Kayden came in more quietly behind him but made sure to say hello to everyone. Tara smiled at him, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. After she made sure she scavenged enough food to make Kayden a snack, she asked to talk to him alone in the dining room for a few minutes.

"I wanted to check in with how you were feeling today?" she asked gently.

"Kind of…" Kayden's eyes turned down but sought Tara's gaze after a moment, "Relieved? I-is that bad? Does that make me a monster?"

"No, sweetheart," Tara reassured firmly, "Absolutely not. Whatever your feelings are, you're entitled to them and they make you human."

Tara rubbed his knee gently.

"Sweetie, I have to ask how you found out that your—that Tony had passed away."

Kayden looked up and went pale.

"Roxy…Roxy messaged me."

Tara nodded evenly.

"I didn't know you were texting with her. How did she get your number?"

"She didn't," Kayden shook his head, "She messaged me on Facebook."

"Kayden, this is my fault," Tara replied quickly, "I should have been keeping a closer eye on your social media use like I do with all of the kids. And I know this is an extremely difficult time, but you can't be in contact with Roxy while there's still an active investigation going on. I should have made sure you understood that and I'm sorry."

Kayden's lips suddenly turned as white as his face.

"I-I'm sorry, Tara, I, I…"

"Ssh, darling," Tara comforted gently, "You didn't do anything wrong, not on purpose. But you can't message with her again, okay? We have to block her."

"I g-get it," Kayden nodded, "I'm sorry."

Tara just pulled him into a hug.

After a minute or so, she pulled back.

"Kayden, I have to ask you. Do you want to go to the funeral?"

Kayden reached up and held his opposite shoulder uncomfortably.

"Should I?"

Tara pursed her lips.

This was too much. He shouldn't have to confront this situation now when everything was still so raw. He should have time, years in fact before he was faced with his abuser's mortality and the flurry of emotion that would accompany it.

Tara wasn't sure she was fully ready to deal with the inevitable day she would be placed in this situation and it had been decades for her.

"I'm afraid only you can make that decision, sweetheart. But we'll all support you either way."

Kayden's eyes looked troubled but he looked over gratefully.

"Thanks, Tara."

Tara just pulled him into another hug.

"Can you hang back, please?"

Willow and Tara hung back, as requested, while the rest of their fostering class comrades spilled out into the night having finished their latest lesson. This one dealt with moving from foster parent to adoptive parent and Willow really enjoyed it because it was an area she at least knew something about, even if it had been sixteen years ago.

"Do you think we're going to get a commendation?" she asked excitedly, holding her white three-ring binder to her chest.

"I don't think so, sweetie," Tara let her down easy.

Willow pouted but seemed to accept it. When the class had filed out and Mark had gathered everything he needed to gather, he looked over to them and sat on the edge of his desk.

"I have to say, I've been amazed at how well you've been doing in these classes. Always know exactly what to say, where to pivot."

Willow started to smile a bit smugly.

"Oh, well—"

"Not you," Mark cut her off, holding up a hand, which Willow scowled at, "You."

He pointed to Tara.

"I was amazed at how well you handled the workshops and role-play. You're word perfect," he picked up a manual sitting on the desk beside him and ruffled it through his fingers, "And you know, I kept thinking I recognized your name…"

He flipped to the back of the manual and pointed to a name in the footnotes.

"You're word perfect because you wrote the book."

Tara quickly shook her head.

"I didn't, I just made a very minor contribution."

Mark arched an annoyed eyebrow.

"Are they doing mystery shoppers for MAPP classes now? Because you really should have tried to blend in more."

Willow scowled some more and hoped it imparted some bad juju his way for insulting Tara's imaginary role as a mystery inspector. Tara would be perfect at any job she chose to do and frankly Willow was downright offended at any suggestion otherwise.

"No, I'm genuine," Tara replied to Mark with a bit of a tired but hopefully genuine smile, "I have temporary custody of one of my children right now and we have to be certified to officially foster him long-term."

Mark gave one long, slow nod.

"Well, good luck, then. You'll get fully signed off from me."

"Thank you," Tara smiled again and tugged Willow along.

"Can you believe the nerve of that guy?" Willow grunted, "Oh I figured you out, oh I found your name in my book."

"Everyone is trying their best," Tara sighed and Willow gave her a little back rub as they walked to the car.

Once inside, Willow turned the heat on and waited for everything to warm up.

She rubbed her palms together and took Tara's hands across the console.

"I didn't even get a chance to ask you about all the Kayden stuff after dinner before we were running off to class. You mentioned the funeral and the social media stuff. How did the guy die?"

"He overdosed," Tara replied with a solemn nod.

"Jeez," Willow replied, feeling her heart constrict for the young boy in bed in their home right now, "That's a lot for a kid to feel on their shoulders. Especially with his mom."

Tara exhaled softly.

"This is what we signed up for."

She paused and looked Willow in the eye.

"Are you still glad that we did?"

"Of course," Willow answered without hesitation.

"You can be honest," Tara offered and quickly realized she was the one who needed to be honest, "I had a moment today, I…"

She stopped and swallowed.

Willow moved one hand to Tara's cheek and brushed her thumb over the skin there.

"Tara, I have those 'moments' once a week about all of our kids," she said with some mirth but not without truth, "Remember that time before Lily was diagnosed and she cracked you in the back of the head with her little wooden train? She drew blood! I almost drew blood, I swear…"

She felt her hackles rising even years later and had to take a breath.

"My point is, having a 'moment' is okay. It's normal. They're our kids. We love them even when it isn't easy. And I bet when you were having your 'moment' you didn't think for a second that you wanted him to actually leave."

Tara nodded quickly; that was true. Willow smiled.

"Let's get home to 'em."

"To have another 'moment'?" Tara asked with a slowly sloping crooked smile.

Willow winked once as she grabbed the wheel.

"To have every moment."