Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or world that J. has created. I'm merely using them for the purposes of telling this story. Any Ocs created are of my own creation and are owed by me.
"What is it to be a hero? Look in the mirror, and you'll know. Look into your own eyes and tell me that you're not heroic."
Chapter 1: You've Seen Dark Before
Nothing about this was right. Not the miserable grey clouds that shrouded the school in despair. Or the silence where there was once laughter and nervous energy. It was as though all the happiness had been plucked from the world. At one time, Severus would have rejoiced to see such manners, but not like this as he stared down from a tower as the first of the students arrived for the new school year. 'Protect them, Severus. However you can, keep them safe.' The words repeated in his head over and over again as he replayed the conversation he'd had with the portrait of the late Albus Dumbledore. A man that he had killed securing his rank in the Dark Lord's circle and losing the respect of his colleagues and Order members.
Even Minerva whom he'd had a great amount of respect for, looked upon him with disgust and anger. He didn't blame her. He hated himself no matter if the man had asked it of him. He closed his eyes as he tried to mentally prepare himself to face the day. Merlin, what had he gotten himself into. He was tired. In his body, mind and spirit. He'd told Dumbledore once before that he was done, but no the man still asked more. He knew why it had to be done this way, but what about him? 'You wouldn't be here if you hadn't told that prophecy to the Dark Lord,' reminded his inner voice harshly. One of the few things, Severus regretted above all else. His head hung a little as his shields slipped before they were back up once more.
He had to be strong. There was no one else that could do this. He knew that and unfortunately so did Albus. He just hoped the rest of Potter's friends didn't make trouble for him. But when did anyone ever make things easy for him? His eyes cast down towards the ground once more but the students were likely inside now and in the Great Hall like he'd instructed. At one point, he might have taken pleasure in a silent well-mannered and orderly fashion that had been sorely lacking around here. Not like this though as he slowly forced himself away from his hiding spot. Robes snapping behind him as he moved with purpose down through the castle. His every step haunted by memories both good and bad. He would have to ensure the Slytherins were on their best behaviour.
It was said that Severus lacked no heart, but that wasn't entirely true. Yes, he was strict in his teaching, often belittling students and yes he held expectations no teacher could expect. Yet, he was not without compassion and heart. His Slytherins knew this. He didn't exactly hide his show of favouritism towards them, but not for the reasons the rest of the school thought. There was some truth in that most of the death eater children ended up in his house and more often than not they came from abusive families. Much like his own had been though few knew of this fact. And if there was one thing Severus did not tolerate, it was abuse. And so he did what he could to be there for them. It was more than any of the other teachers were doing for them.
The hallways were eerily quiet as the man made his way down towards the staff entrance of the Great Hall. His footsteps made little sound as he stepped down the stairs with an air of authority and power about him. There could be no mistakes. A single slip up could mean the difference between life and death. He just hoped that he could hold down the fort long enough for Potter to finish what needed to be done. Though he knew there was more to it than what the boy had been given to work with. He didn't initially believe Albus when he'd told him that the boy had to die. That all these years to keep him safe were for naught. He had even taken to the books researching frantically all he could into the Horcrux business, but no such answer could be found.
He quickly pushed such thoughts to the furthest recesses of his mind as he neared the eerily quiet great hall. He stopped briefly at the door and hesitated only for a moment. A long drawn out breath could be heard as Severus cleared his mind of all thought. Squaring a neutral expression on his face as he mentally prepared to meet his colleagues and students. Then the door flung up at the flick of his wrist as he noticed his former 'friends' and colleagues refused to stand for him. They wouldn't even look at him but the students did as he walked towards the Headmaster's chair. Nobody spoke, nobody breathed though there were some looks of loathing on the faces of the students. He showed nothing in his face as he took his spot where his mentor once sat. A man he murdered in cold blood.
"It seems to me that things have been far too laxed as of late. Your precious Headmaster allowed you all far too much leash. Well no longer. Things are going to change," replied Severus in as cold and indifferent a voice as he could muster. He didn't deny the words he spoke only that he didn't wish to be speaking them at all.
"Therefore, I intend to implement some new rules. Curfew will be at 9pm for all students including Prefects and Head students. Wands will no longer be allowed to leave student trunks except for class unless otherwise stated. There will no more shouting or running about. No more whispering in the halls or condoning private meetings. Teachers will escort students to their classes, " replied Severus as his eyes briefly turned towards the Gryffindor table for a moment.
If any of the houses would give him the most trouble, it would be them and those that still looked to Potter. He could tell the students were less than pleased by these rules. Nor were his colleagues any less happy about it. He was merely doing what Albus asked. Protect the students at any cost. Even if it meant restricting their movements to nothing.
"Furthermore, should anyone student or staff attempt to aid Potter or his ideas, they will be punished most severely upon their transgression. Do not test me. Anyone that decides themselves above these rules should consider themselves on watch. Should anyone find themselves bold enough will find themselves punished and quidditch canceled for everyone," replied Severus to the horror of the students and staff alike. Well that seemed to have gotten their attention as Alecto Carrow turned to him.
"You're allowing them to still play quidditch, Snape? The Dark Lord sa-" hissed the woman.
"And if I cancel it prematurely, you foolish woman we will have mayhem upon us before we know it. Leave it in their hands and they may think upon their actions. SIT DOWN!" snapped Severus harshly at her as he wielded on her. Then turned to address the students once more already seeing the loathing in some of their faces.
"Defense Against the Dark Arts will no longer be taught. Instead, the Dark Arts will take their place. Taught by our lovely Miss Alecto Carrow. And Muggle studies will be taught by Mr. Amycus Carrow. That is all," replied Severus as he sat down and the food appear on the table like always. He could see some of his colleagues looking at him with disdain or disappointment.
He was trying to protect them. To avoid having to subject children to the likes of Amycus and Alecto. Shame his colleagues couldn't see the merits in his decision making. He tried to ignore them as he forced himself to sit in the Headmaster's chair. To eat as though this was all normal. Yet, every mouthful felt like ash in his mouth. It didn't help that Minerva, a woman he respected above all other staff members was glaring daggers into his head. At least, the students were distracted by the food in front of them. Least, he didn't have to sit for the trivial sorting ceremony, not that there were many this year. He couldn't exactly blame them and certainly made his job easier.
Merlin, give him the strength to endure this year. As much as he had hated the lack of rules Albus had employed over his years, he would have preferred it to this. He didn't want to be Headmaster, but if he didn't then there would be nobody there to protect the school. He only hoped the Gryffindors would behave themselves as he glanced over at their much smaller group. He would definitely be keeping an eye on them as he decided he couldn't take the looks of pure loathing on everyone's faces. Excusing himself from the table as he turned and swept from the Great Hall. The staff entrance slamming shut with a bang behind him as he traversed the halls alone once more.
The life of a spy was a lonely path one that he had traversed for many years now. He should be used to the looks of hate upon his person. He knew he wasn't exactly well liked. Not by students and the other teachers, but for some reason it felt different. He continued to make his walk back towards the Headmaster's office. Not bothering with some ridiculous password as he watched the statue move away revealing the staircase leading up. Slowly ascending the stairs to be better left with his thoughts as the door opened promptly and closed behind him before locking.
"You're doing the right thing, Severus," came a voice that seemed to span the whole room.
"Just stop. I don't need your pity," replied Severus darkly to the room clearly not interested in any discussions with the recently deceased man. The one that he murdered several months ago. He knew he had to do it, but it didn't make the knowledge any better. Sure, Albus drove him insane some days and he may have even threatened to hex or kill the man, but he never would have actually gone through with it.
"I know this can't be easy for you. But I wouldn't ask it of you if-" insisted the voice once more.
"Shut up! Don't pretend to know me. To understand what you ask of me. I'm not in the mood for your brilliant wisdom alive or dead," snarled Severus loudly to the empty room. If anyone had seen him, they might have thought he'd finally snapped. What they didn't know was that a portrait of the late Headmaster lay carefully concealed under disillusionment charms far powerful than anything the students or death eaters would know about.
"Very well, my boy. Be safe," came the voice once more before the room returned to an eerie silence.
The dark robed man looked up to the carefully concealed portrait but the old wizard was gone as if he had never been there at all. He clenched his jaw as he found himself whipping out his wand and destroying several glass cabinets in his anger. Hearing the satisfactory sound of glass breaking to get rid of his pent up emotions. Seething from the responsibilities placed upon his shoulders now. He showed no mercy until all of them were broken and he stood heaving with exertion. Composing himself soon enough behind his multitude of Occlumency shields once more. A quick flick had all the glass cabinets straightening themselves out leaving no sign of the destruction before. Satisfied, he headed into his private chambers spending the rest of his night brewing potions and praying Potter was intelligent enough not to get himself killed. For all their sakes.
Author's Note: So this is my first chapter in a series of chapters I intend to write for this story. Comments, critques are all welcome. Updates will not be regular due to mental health, but I hope you stay tune. This story was inspired by a tumblr blog post. Hope you enjoy the journey.