Chapter 14

Canadian Aventure.

I dropped by my house to print the document and then went back to Kyle's house.

I saw Kyle and approached him.

"Kyle, I require your help translating this."

I handed him the document.

Kyle looked at it for a moment before handing it to Stan.

"Yeah i can't read this."

Stan attempted to read it.

"What language is this?"

"French, the Girls refuse to use google translate but they said if i get this document translated they'll join us, so does anyone here speak french?"

I looked around and everyone shook their heads.

But to my surprise Cartman spoke up.

"I've seen this language before, in the kingdom to the north."

"Huh?"

"Oooh, the kingdom to the north"

Butters said in awe.

Cartman went through a chest and pulled out a passport.

"Getting that document translated isn't going to be easy."

He handed me the passport.

"To breach the kingdom to the north, you will have to assume another identity. Your name is no longer Commander N. It is now Larry Bobinski from cleveland."

"I swear to god if anyone calls me that i will shoot them."

Everyone who was about to make a joke backed up.

Kyle walked up to me

"The quickest way to the kingdom of the north is through the lost forest. Head north, then north again. North and then north."

"Ok i get it."

Stan went up to me.

"You better get a real passport photo first or you wont make it past Border Control."

I sighed and started walking to Photo Dojo.

I took the time to look over some of the new skills I obtained,I learned a defensive sword technique,a long range sword and aura attack,and…

'Red why did you have me use my last unlock on Truth Red Eye?'

'N there's so many liars in this town, I feel like you could use it.'

'I guess that's true, but I never really believed what anyone says anyway.'

I went inside Photo Dojo and looked at the guy at the front desk.

"Let's make this quick, i need a passport photo taken."

"Very well, just head on into the room there and we'll get started."

The guy gave me a strange look.

'Ok this is sketchy.'

'Be cautious.'

I walked into the room the man indicated.

It looked like a normal place to take photos.

The man followed me inside.

"Step between the lights please."

I stood in front of the green screen and between the lights.

The man went behind the camera.

"That's great, ok smile."

But before he took the picture, he moved away from the camera and looked at me.

"Um do you have something else you can wear? Could you try something else on?"

"Uh no, first of all i actually like this outfit, and second of all i left my regular clothes at home, so just take the photo."

"Sorry that outfit just isn't working, why don't you put on something in that box over there?"

'Ok this is getting strange.'

'Agreed, bet you're glad I convinced you to get the truth eye now.'

'Don't brag about it.'

My eyes turned red and i looked at the man and when i saw the truth about him i almost threw up with how disgusted i was.

I threw my sword at the man killing him.

"He can't hurt anyone anymore."

I saw some movement behind some boxes and walked over to them.

There was a man beaten and bruised.

He got up and saw what I did to the previous man.

"Wow,good job kid, you're quite the fighter."

He took my picture and after filling out some forms I got a passport that had my actual name on it.

I took the passport and walked away after grabbing and cleaning my sword.

'Alright, step i dont even know at this point done now all we have to do is go to canada and translate this.'

'I know you're tired of this but just imagine all the fighting we'll be doing after this.'

'Yeah beating up Clyde will definitely be fun.'

I went to the lost forest and as I was walking through the forest I was randomly shot at with a laser.

Though my reflexes were quick and I drew my sword slicing the laser making it miss.

"Aw shoot i missed."

I looked and saw a bunch of animals dressed in winter gear.

"Don't worry if we fire at them all together he won't stand a chance."

They all started firing lasers out of their eyes at me.

I quickly made an aura barrier to protect.

"Ok why am i being attacked by woodland critters?"

"We can't let another being with demonic power exist while our master is the true lord."

"Ok you know what screw this!"

I sent my aura through my blade and did a slash sending a slash of aura into the woodland critters hitting all but a rabbit one.

"Uh you wouldn't hurt an innocent bunny would you?"

I just glared at the Rabbit.

Its eyes started to glow before he shot a large blast at me.

I quickly transformed my hand and smacked the rabbit into the ground destroying it.

My arm returned to normal and sighed in relief.

'That was so pointless it wasn't even funny.'

'Yeah though it's probably good you killed them.'

'I do wonder who their master was.'

Suddenly fire engulfed the woodland critters and what stood was a demon of some kind.

Using my truth eye I learned it was the devil.

'I have a bad feeling about this.'

"Are you the one to do away with those critters?"

"Uhh yeah?"

He looked closely at me.

"Good, I absolutely hated those critters, they kept acting like they know me but they are just annoying."

"Yeah i don't even understand why they attacked me."

"Because you're a Demon Lord, ok but why though?"

"Your Bloodline has two respected and powerful Demon Lords in it."

"Really?"

"Yes but there's something else,something more, something ferocious."

"Are you talking about Red?"

"Red? Ah, I see you have a second soul inside your body, but the connection is strange."

"Do you have any idea why we're like this?"

"No,those are answers to find yourself."

"Well damn."

"Anyway,I just came to make sure those critters are out of my hair forever, I don't see you as a threat for my throne in hell."

"I don't want it anyway. I prefer being here anyway."

The Devil vanished and I looked around.

'Well that was interesting."

'And we got a few answers, still don't know why I'm stuck in your body though.'

'One day we'll know, anyway onward to canada.'

I continued walking until I reached what appeared to be a toll booth at the canadian border.

There was a mountie in front of me.

I handed him my passport and he looked at it.

"Papers seem to be in order."

He hands the passport back.

"Very well, I hereby grant thee access to the great nation of Canada! Open the Gate!"

It was silent for a few seconds.

"Oh i'll do it. Hang on."

He goes over and opens the gate and I walk into canada.

I decided to enter the nearest town which was Ottawa and I found out the Prince and Princess lived in this town.

Realizing this I decided to go visit the palace.

I went into the throne room and several guards exclaimed.

"All hail the Prince and Princess of Canada!"

I went up to the Prince.

"Well well what do we have here? You must have beaten the odds and obtained a passport."

I shrugged.

"I am the Prince of Canada and this is my lovely wife."

The Princess queefed.

'This place is just as weird as South Park.'

"How can i help you?"

I walked up to the Prince and handed him a document.

"It's a long story but i need to get this document translated to english."

"Sorry but i don't know what this says. I've seen this language before, but i believe it is only spoken in a specific part of Canada. I suggest you travel west of here and seek out the Earl of Winnipeg. He can tell you where in Canada they speak this freakish tongue."

The Princess queefed again and the guards said it was a great honor.

I really didn't understand why but I decided not to question it.

The Prince decided to warn me about Dire Wolves, yeah normally that would worry me but i just dealt with some demonic woodland critters so i wasn't really worried.

On my way out I picked up some 5X7 pictures as souvenirs and left for Winnipeg.

Some wolves tried to attack me and well, it didn't end well for them.

I entered Winnipeg and found the Capital Building.

When I entered the building I saw the Earl sitting at a desk.

I approached him and handed him the document.

"Can you translate this for me please?"

"Ah, well this writing is definitely Canadian. But why should I help a foreigner when Winnipeg is completely overrun with Dire Bears?!"

'Seriously why is Canada full of dire animals?'

"About a week ago, three Dire Bears moved into the cave next to the Capitol Building."

I sighed.

"I'll be right back."

10 minutes later I went back to the Capitol Building and dropped three Dire Bear Pelts on his desk.

"Jeez kid you are terrifying."

"Can you please help me now?"

"Well this is actually written in the language of eastern canadian. The Minister of Montreal can translate it."

"Ok and where can i find him?"

"I'm afraid the Prince has imprisoned the Minister of Montreal in the Caverns of Quebec, return to him and maybe he'll let you speak with the minister."

This was making me more angry by the second but i just left after hearing the Earl say he would have the most Dire Robe in all of Canada.

I returned to the Prince.

"Ok i know you have the Minister of Montreal in a cavern, can you release him, i really need to get this document translated."

The Prince thought for a moment.

"I'd like to help you, but i think this might be another ploy by the Bishop of Banff to have Montreal allowed back into the kingdom."

A guard decided to speak up.

"Some Canadians think our nation should be united again, my lord."

The Prince smacked the guard.

"Shut up! Who the fuck are you?!"

The Prince turned back to me.

"Listen, it's all because the Bishop of Banff is a liveral. He does these things just to make life difficult for me. I must ask you to perform another noble quest: go to Banff and kill the Bishop."

The Princess looked shocked.

"Kill the Bishop of Banff?!"

The Prince told the Princess to shush and I was very tempted to punch him for treating her bad.

"Kill the Bishop for me and bring me his balls as proof. Do this and I shall allow you into the Catacombs of Quebec. Make haste."

I left the Palace and began to make my way to the Bishop.

When I found him I decided to approach this peacefully.

"Are you the Bishop?"

"Why yes I am."

I explained the Prince's plan so the Bishop gave me a box with Dire Pig balls instead and he left.

When I returned to the Palace, I handed the box to the Prince who looked inside.

"Yay! The Bishop's balls! Now religion won't interfere with the government."

"Good now for our deal."

"Sorry no can do."

"Excuse me?"

My glowed Red.

"With both the Bishop and the Minister taken care of, my throne is secure."

The Princess spoke on my behalf.

"But my liege we made a promise."

He told her to shush again which pissed me off even further.

The Prince left and the Princess approached me and handed me a letter.

"Quickly. You must speak with the Duke of Vancouver. He can help you get into the Catacombs of Quebec. Give the Duke this. Hurry now!"

She went back to her throne and queefed.

I ran quickly to Vancouver and handed the letter to the Duke.

"A letter."

He reads it

"From the Princess?!? This says that the Prince of Canada has imprisoned the Minister unjustly, and tried to have the Bishop of Banff assassinated!"

"Yes now can you help me free the Minister?"

"Young man if you wish to brave the Catacombs of Quebec, you would have to speak with the monks who live to the southeast of town. Only they could train you in such sorcery."

'Great another fart ability that i will almost never use.'

I left the building and went south east of town and to my surprise it was Terrance and Phillup at a log cabin.

"Well this is interesting.

"Who are you?"

Terrance asked.

"N"

Phillip spoke next.

"He's the American everyone is talking aboot, Terrance."

"Naw he can't be.He cant be a master of spellcraft, he doesn't even know magic."

"He probably doesn't even know how to fart."

I used DragonShout on Phillip.

"He knows Dragonshout!"

"Any magician's apprentice can Dragonshout. It's not like he farted into his hand and hit you in the face with it, Phillip."

I used Cup a Spell on Terrance.

"My god! He can cup a spell!"

"If he's really good, how come he can't sneak a fart behind your face."

I used a sneaky squeaker on both of them.

"The Sneaky Squeaker!"

Phillup exclaimed.

"Very impressive. He is worthy of our training after all."

"Yes Prepare thyself,child. It is time for you to learn some true magic."

Both of them farted on me and I collapsed.

When I woke up I was in a white space.

"Am i in the Matrix?"

I saw that Terrance and Philip were dressed in clothes like in the Matrix.

"I was kidding."

"Your magic is impressive, young American."

Philliip told me.

"I have a name you know?"

He ignored me.

"Not since Eric Von Thunderpants of Nova Scotia have we seen such prowess."

"But now you must learn to control your anus muscles in just the right way to change a spell's frequency."

A stone wall formed in front of us.

"Some objects seem too large to be damaged by magic. But now i will break through it with Nagasaki!"

He jumped in front of the wall facing away from it and farted at the wall destroying it.

"Ok that's impressive but i can actually destroy things with my aura."

"What you can use is just raw power, Nagasaki is controlled destruction."

Phillip used Nagasaki on another wall destroying it once again.

They made another wall appear and this time it was my turn.

I used Nagasaki like I was shown and the wall was turned to dust.

"Whoa Terrance this kid's power is stronger than most."

"Indeed Phillip, but let's see how he uses it in battle."

Three men appeared and I immediately used Nagasaki on them and they turned to dust.

"That's it! You have the Power!"

Phillip shouted.

A flash of light hit me and I woke up in their log cabin.

"You did it! Now go out and use your anus for the good of mankind."

Terrance told me.

"And never, ever fart on a man's balls."

Phillip told me before I left the cabin.

'Why does everyone keep telling me that?'

'Seriously why would you even do that?'

'Exactly.'

After all this bull shit I finally made my way to the entrance to the Catacombs of Quebec, but to my surprise a giant spider was blocking the entrance.

"Oh c'mon."

I used a cross slash cutting half its legs off then while it was on the ground I stabbed it in the head with both my swords.

"Well that was easy."

My phone buzzed and I saw I got a Facebook message from Jimbo.

'Hey New Kid, I saw you were hunting a creature, if you hunt more creatures and give me proof of their death I'll give you a reward.'

'Have you ever met this Jimbo guy before?'

'Nope.'

I noticed something else on my phone.

'Quest list?'

I tapped it and noticed my current task and the request to hunt for Jimbo was shown.

'Wow this really is an rpg.'

'It might be smart for you to do more of these side quests.'

'Why should I do that? I hate doing tedious quests.'

'The more quests we do the more abilities we unlock and the stronger you will become.'

'I guess that's true.'

'The reward will be worth it, trust me I have a feeling.'

'Fine, when we get back to South Park ill find every side quest in this stupid game.'

I walked inside the Catacombs and found a rock blocking me.

'If I use my aura here I could cause the cave to collapse.'

I used Nagasaki on the rock and it turned to dust.

I went deeper into the cave and found a bunch of dust, from what I can guess were enemies keeping the Minister from escaping.

A man who I can guess was the minister was attached to a wall with chains.

I broke the chains and the Minister spoke french.

"Uh i don't understand but can you translate this document?"

I hand him the paper and a pen.

He wrote on the paper and I saw it was plain english.

'He writes in english but doesn't speak it?'

'Yeah i don't know either.'

'Well you finally got the document translated, you better head back to the girls.'

I agreed with Red and walked out of the Catacombs and Canada.

Since I went North so much I went straight South.

When i entered Town once again and got a text from Annie

'N the Girls want to know your progress with translating the document.'

I replied:I have it translated meet me back at City Hall.

After sending the text I ran back to City Hall where Annie was waiting in her normal outfit.

"You look tired"

"It's been a long day, just do what you got to do."

She put the blindfold on me and took me back to the Girl's Clubhouse.

I handed the Document to Wendy and then went to the other side of the Clubhouse to let them discuss their matters.

'Not gonna listen to them this time?'

'Red I just need a moment to just turn off my brain.'

I closed my eyes and just relaxed for a few minutes.

"Hey wake up."

I opened my eyes and saw Bebe.

"What?"

"The Girls have agreed to join your game."

"Finally."

I stretched a bit.

"You're also now allowed to come and go from this clubhouse as you please."

"Ok i guess?"

I left their Clubhouse and it was the Girl's Bathroom in the park.

'Huh i guess that makes sense.'

I sat on a bench and sent a message to Kyle saying I got the Girls on our side.

He replied to me shortly after.

'Good work commander, I'm still gathering all the factions so for now take the time to prepare yourself.'

I sighed and leaned back

'Finally a moment of peace.'

'Now would be a good time to take care of those side quests.'

'I know but just give me a few minutes.'

AN:So this chapter is longer for two reasons. One, the chapter after this is much shorter and Two, I wanted to just put all of Canada in one Chapter. Also next chapter will be to wrap everything up for the finale. Until Tomorrow.