Tara watched Kayden run his hand up and down his cast, tapping it nervously in spots.
She leaned over in the little plastic hospital chair to whisper to him.
"Do you want me to come in with you?"
Kayden tried to keep his arms still. His eyes followed the tile on the floor.
"I've had it done before."
Tara loosely stretched her arm around the back of his chair.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" she repeated softly.
Kayden swallowed then his eyes glanced furtively at Tara and he nodded.
"Kayden West," someone called and Kayden looked up apprehensively.
Tara put a gentle hand on Kayden's back and stood with him. They walked into the treatment room at the pediatric hospital, which had lots of smiling animals adorning the walls and equipment, including stitched into the breast pocket of the doctor who was smiling cheerily at them - the doctor and the monkey.
"Getting your cast taken off today?" the doctor asked with a laugh that threw his head back enough to see his nose hair.
Kayden nodded.
"I am Dr. Gabe and we'll have this thing off in a jiffy," Dr. Gabe said as he fetched the small handheld saw, "Now it may sound real, but I promise you, this thing can't cut skin at all. I'll show you!"
He rubbed it against his own skin to demonstrate but it didn't help the nervous tapping of Kayden's foot.
Kayden knew the saw wouldn't hurt him, he had felt it before. But it didn't stop the memory of his uncle sitting beside him as he got his previous cast off, a cast there because of him, calling Kayden names because he flinched once.
Then he felt Tara's fingertips over the back of his hand.
"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful," she sang softly, "Beautiful boy."
She didn't look at him on purpose, knowing he'd be embarrassed, and Kayden felt that little shiver on the base of his spine that he'd come to recognize as love.
"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful," Tara continued to sing, acting like she was just humming nonchalantly into the room all the while holding Kayden's hand loosely on top, "Beautiful boy."
The cast was off in seconds and Kayden's arm naturally floated up. He smiled.
"Cool."
"All done, young man. Now don't go jumping out of any more planes!" Dr. Gage said chirpily.
Kayden offered a weak smile and Tara thanked the doctor as they walked back out.
In the hallway, Kayden stopped abruptly when he saw someone he knew walking toward him.
"Oh hey…Dylan."
"Hey Kayden," Dylan lifted his hand in a wave as some of his sandy-blonde hair fell into his eyes, "Hey, you got your cast off."
Kayden lifted his arm and looked at it as if it had regrown itself.
"Oh, yeah," he said, then looked up with concern, "Are you okay?"
"I get a lot of ear infections," Dylan shrugged, "I'm just here for a check-up."
"Dylan!" a female voice called from further down the hall.
"Gotta go," Dylan smiled easily, "See you at school."
"Bye," Kayden lifted his hand, then let it fall back down awkwardly by his side.
He continued walking out. Tara fell in step with him.
"Who was that?"
"Hmm?" Kayden murmured, then look up at Tara, "Oh, that's Dylan. He's in my Chemistry class."
"I see," Tara replied with a little smile tugging on her lips.
Back in the car, Tara belted up and put the key in the ignition but didn't start the car.
She looked at Kayden.
"I have an idea," she said in a conspiring tone, "Let's play hooky."
Kayden arched an eyebrow.
"Really?"
Truly, Tara had the afternoon off of work anyway, but revealing that would be no fun.
"I'd like to take you somewhere special to me. Are you up for it?"
Kayden nodded slowly. Tara smiled.
"Let's go."
She flicked on the radio to be a soundtrack for their journey and she and Kayden naturally harmonized the songs they both knew together. It was such a fun, lighthearted ride that Kayden became extremely confused when they pulled into the parking lot of a small graveyard.
Not wanting to be disrespectful, Kayden didn't comment and just followed Tara as she led them to the middle of the graveyard.
Tara kneeled and picked up some pebbles to lay on the gravestone.
"Hi, Mom."
Kayden noted the name engraved and blinked.
"Oh."
Tara encouraged Kayden to kneel down with her and he did.
"This is my boy," Tara smiled, "Isn't his hair cool?"
Kayden ducked out of Tara's fussing but smiled.
Tara held her hands up.
"I wanted to bring you here because it's important to me. I get a lot of comfort and closure from visiting my mom here. It helps when I get that sadness of missing her."
"Y-You feel like that?" Kayden asked with a gulp.
Tara nodded.
"I do," she said slowly, tenderly, "Do you?"
Kayden looked away.
Tara put a hand on his shoulder.
"You don't have to answer that. I just want you to know that if there's ever any place you want to visit, we'll take you."
Kayden slowly looked up.
"Anywhere?"
Tara nodded once, surely.
"Anywhere."
They stood in the heart of a Chuck E. Cheese in the midst of arcade games, amusement rides, and animatronic displays that seemed far too terrifying to be child-friendly. The smell of grease was stomach-churning and the constant high-pitched screams of giddy children was ear-piercing and soul-destroying.
"She'd take me here on my birthday," Kayden spoke for the first time since they'd arrived, "Invite everyone from school. Spent a fortune."
He paused and looked at Tara awkwardly.
"My, um…"
"Your mom?" Tara suggested gently, "You can call her your mom. If you can have two moms, you can have three moms."
Kayden looked at Tara, conflicted.
"But she wasn't," he said, his brow a deep furrow, "Not the kind I needed. We couldn't afford places like this. She spent all of the money in one afternoon and then I had to steal food to eat for the rest of the month."
His eyes shut tight and his mouth thinned, having said too much. His eyes cracked open again, near tears.
"Do you think I'm bad? Do you not want to adopt me anymore?"
"Kayden, of course we want to adopt you," Tara replied in as gentle a tone as she could manage while still being heard about the racket, "Why would I think you were bad?"
Kayden dropped his gaze to hide that they were filling up.
"For stealing?"
Someone in the rat mascot suit sauntered over and thinking perhaps Kayden had additional needs, tried to put a smile on his face with a hug and dance. Tara very politely rebuffed him and brought Kayden to a bench outside the building.
She let Kayden have a moment as she looked away.
"I had to steal once," she said eventually, the first time she'd ever told anyone, even her therapist — even Willow. She looked back at Kayden, who was slightly shocked, "It was a bad week. My father took the few dollars I had to feed us. If it was just me, I would have starved until I got a school lunch the next day but if he didn't get his dinner on the table, well…"
She swung her head toward Kayden with a sad smile.
"So I stole the cheapest thing I could find — some top ramen. All 10 cents worth. And I cried about it for weeks. Months. I thought I'd never get to meet my mom in heaven."
She placed a hand on Kayden's knee.
"So, no Kayden, I don't think you're bad. I think you're good. You survived. And I think that's great."
Kayden rubbed his palms together in front of him.
"I guess she survived too," he bobbed his head and closed his eyes, "Until she didn't."
He looked through the glass window at all of the happy kids jumping about.
"But she tried to give me a happy memory."
His head fell down and when he looked up again, his eyes had cleared.
"I'm ready to go now."
Tara put her arm around Kayden's shoulders.
"I love you, Kayden."
Kayden leaned his head on Tara.
"I love you, Mom."
Tara smiled and kissed Kayden's head.
As they got back into the car, Kayden's head cocked curiously as he took a last look at the Chuck. E. Cheese building.
"It's a cool building."
"Hmm?" Tara asked as she slid the belt across her body.
"It's a cool building," Kayden repeated, "Tudor Style. Revival probably."
Tara's lips sloped up on one side.
"You're really getting into your buildings."
Kayden shrugged bashfully.
"They're so expressive."
They got home a few minutes before Kayden would normally get off the bus, or he and JJ would get home if JJ wasn't staying after school for basketball.
"I have something else I want to talk to you about," Tara said as she turned the car off, "How would you feel if we told everyone that we're officially adopting you?"
Kayden opened his mouth to reply, then shut it again as he lingered on one word.
"Wait…"
Tara grinned.
"We filed the papers this morning before I picked you up from school."
Kayden's lower jaw started to tremble.
"Really?"
Tara reached out and held Kayden's face.
"It will take a few months but it's happening."
Kayden's face broke out in a slow grin. He quickly nodded.
"Yeah. I wanna tell people. Especially…"
"Your siblings?" Tara prompted.
Somehow, Kayden's smile got bigger.
"Yeah. I want to tell them."
Tara leaned over and kissed Kayden squarely on the forehead.
Later that evening when Willow had returned from work and Tara had finished ferrying Robyn to soccer practice and the twins to drama, they were just waiting for JJ to return home so they could start dinner.
"I swear if that boy is halfway to Schenectady again…" Willow muttered and Tara gave her a look that urged patience.
Not too many minutes later, the sound of the key in the door delighted everyone at the dinner table. JJ sauntered in and took his seat.
"Jacob," Willow clicked her tongue.
JJ grabbed a dinner roll and took a bite.
"Am I late?"
Willow looked unamused and Tara pushed her chair back.
"I'll get dinner."
Robyn rolled and tossed her napkin across the table.
"Thanks for making us all wait."
"I'm sorry, usually coach comes in and tells us he has to lock up the gym," JJ held his hands up, "I didn't know it was so late."
"I bet he was calling Cleo," Lily said, twisting in her seat and making kissing noises.
JJ mocked her tone and when Tara returned with the casserole dish, she shot him a look and he straightened up in his seat.
Tara served everyone and they all dug in hungrily after the delay. When they had finished and Willow was dishing out slices of apple pie, Tara pulled her chair a little closer to the table.
"Momma and I would like to talk to all of you."
Robyn and Lily shared a look of mutually assured destruction and JJ braced himself.
"Kayden, do you want to tell everyone?" Tara asked gently and everyone's shoulders dropped in relief.
Kayden's cheeks turned pink.
"Um, well," he said, licking his lips to rid the dryness, "I'm being adopted."
The table grew silent.
"No!" Robyn broke first, her face tight with anger.
"Robyn," Willow said softly, frowning.
"No!" Robyn continued angrily, "I don't want him to leave!"
"We don't want Kayden to leave!" Lily and Emily said in unison.
JJ's brow furrowed into a v.
"Why can't we adopt him?"
"We are," Tara clarified quickly around the table, "We're the ones who are adopting him."
The other kids all looked around wide-eyed then suddenly jumped up and piled on Kayden with various frequencies of squeals.
Willow and Tara shared a big smile and Tara took Willow's hand atop the table.
Tara mouthed 'I love you' and Willow mouthed it back before leaning in to meet her wife for a kiss.
She nuzzled Tara's ear and kissed there too.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Tara asked softly.
Willow smiled easily.
"For making our family truly complete."
All five kids got together outside the door of Willow and Tara's bedroom.
Kayden had his guitar strapped over his body and was holding it at the neck.
JJ was holding a tray with breakfast a step up from the soggy bowls of cereal and burnt toast offerings of old. Well, the toast was a little burnt but that was because someone — the culprit was still at large and not talking — changed the setting on the timer. But the scrambled egg was top notch if JJ did say so himself and he'd covered up the burned bits of the toast with avocado and strategically placed bacon.
Robyn was holding a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, so fresh that she'd almost woken her parents up early from screaming when a little bit of juice got onto a paper-cut on her finger as she put it through the juicer.
Emily was holding a small bunch of hand-picked flowers in her hands — picked from their neighbor's garden by Lily when Emily got upset at the prospect of plucking any of Tara's flowers — and Lily held a rectangularly shaped gift.
"Okay, Lily, open the door," JJ said with an indicative nod of his head.
Lily reached up and tried to twist the knob, but it was locked.
"Why is it lock—" JJ started, then closed his eyes and grimaced.
"Ugh, gross," Robyn whispered under her breath.
"What?" Lily asked, clueless.
Kayden was blushing and looking at the floor.
"I-I guess it's cool that they still—"
"NO!" JJ and Robyn cut him off sharply.
Kayden shut up.
Lily bounced up and down in frustration.
"What are you guys talking about?!"
Suddenly the doorknob jiggled again but none of them were touching it. It opened and Tara peered her head out. Her eyes widened when she saw all of them.
"I'm sorry kids, I forgot," she cleared her throat and tucked some hair behind her ear, "Just, um…just wait one minute."
She closed the door again and both Robyn and JJ shared unamused glances. Less than a minute later, the door opened fully.
Willow looked thrilled — and a little red — as her breakfast tray was laid upon her with her flowers and gift. She already knew what it, the same thing she got every year. A photo of the kids. Four smiling faces, except this time it was five with Kayden actually offering a smile for the camera. It would be in a frame adorned with shells or macaroni or, like one adventurous year, love heart candy that appeared to have nibbles in it.
Willow quickly opened it with a beaming smile. Buttons this year. She put it on her nightstand to replace last year's.
"I love it. Thank you all. This looks delicious!" she enthused as if she couldn't see the entire top half of the toast was cremated.
"We gots an extra present for you this year, Momma!" Lily said keenly.
"You do?" Willow asked, perking herself up in bed.
Tara sat back in the bed and shared a smile with Willow.
The kids all looked to Kayden, who straightened up smartly and started playing some opening notes on his guitar.
Having grown up in the 90s, Willow recognized The Spice Girls immediately.
Robyn was the first to sing and Willow actually had to remind herself how sweet Robyn's voice was because she barely used it. It was one thing she had undoubtedly inherited from Tara.
She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free. Catching me in places that I knew I shouldn't be
Robyn smirked at Willow, who could only smile back.
Every other day I crossed the line, I didn't mean to be so bad. I never thought you would become the friend I never had
Robyn ducked her head in an unusual display of shyness but raised it again to finish off her verse.
Back then I didn't know why… why you were misunderstood. Momma, so now I see through your eyes. All that you did was love!
Suddenly Lily and Emily started screeching and Willow loved all of her children dearly but it was quite a jarring contrast.
Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend! You're my friend…
The words were so sweet that Willow didn't care an ounce that her eardrums had almost been burst.
JJ slid in smoothly next and was bouncing on the spot to the melody Kayden was producing.
One might think it was one of the little girls that had chosen such a song from such a band to sing but Willow knew that it was JJ who had begged to go the Spice Girls reunion tour as a child.
I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashamed to say it now… every little thing you said and did was right for me. I had a lot of time to think about, about the way I used to be. Never had a sense of my responsibility
He looked at Willow with sincerity as his hair flopped in his eyes.
Back then I didn't know why… why you were misunderstood. So now I see through your eyes… all that you did was love!
Lily and Emily were up again.
Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend…
"You're my friend," JJ tried (and failed) to harmonize but didn't let his off-key screech deter him, "You're my friend."
For the last verse, Tara swung up and stood behind the kids with her arms around them all as best she could as they all sang as a group; sweet and scratchy voices joining together. Willow could hear the harmony in her heart if not her ears.
Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend! Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend!
Willow's hands pressed against her own cheeks and she looked at her family in awe.
"Oh, you guys, that was the best birthday gift I've ever gotten! Come give me hugs! Who wants some scrambled egg?"
The girls all piled onto the bed, narrowly missing turning the sheets into a kaleidoscope of egg and orange juice, and the boys hung back, cool and collected but close enough to steal pieces of fruit from each other.
When somehow, miraculously, the whole meal was consumed without spilling, Willow was dragged downstairs by Lily and Emily to show her the elaborate birthday card they'd made with the leftover buttons from the photo frame with a few macaroni shells thrown in for good measure. The card was almost too heavy to open.
Tara made some real breakfast as Willow's plate hadn't been much at all shared between seven, plus Woofy who showed up when he smelled bacon.
Tara served up a stack of pancakes but let everyone come in and get them as they wanted.
Willow was able to drag herself away when all of the kids had their faces drenched with maple syrup and held out her own plate with a smile.
"Happy Birthday to me," she said as Tara put a heart shape onto her plate, "Thank you, baby."
"You are quite welcome," Tara smiled easily, "Did you like your song? Kayden learned it just for you."
"Aww," Willow replied with a warm look on her face, "They were amazing! We could go on the road! The Rosenberg-Maclay family band."
She thought about it and frowned.
"Never mind, I don't even like driving with all of them in the car to Costco, never mind going on tour."
"Still traumatized by that Costco trip, sweetie?" Tara asked as she chopped some strawberries for Willow's pancake.
"You mean the never-ending warehouse of disorientation and ill-timed pajamas?" Willow pouted, "I lost Lily somewhere between the 100 packs of puppy pads and the tubs of peanut butter bigger than my head. They called me over the PA system and told me to come to collect my abandoned child!"
"I know, honey," Tara soothed softly, "You don't ever have to go back to the bad place again."
Willow looked at Tara dubiously.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were mocking me."
Tara slid the strawberries onto Willow's plate with a sweet smile.
"Lucky you know better."
"Mmm," Willow replied, unconvinced but smiling, "I love when my birthday falls on a weekend. What fantastic capers have you got planned for me?
Tara frowned.
"Willow, you told us not to plan anything."
Willow's face slowly fell. Yeah, she'd said that, but she said it every year. It was as much a tradition as the photo frame and mediocre (but lovingly produced) breakfast.
"Oh yeah," she covered, "No, yeah, of course."
"You can go to Costco for me if you're bored," Tara teased lightly.
"Haha," Willow replied, none too amused, "Do I at least get cake?"
Tara's brow creased.
"You said pancakes would be enough."
Willow nodded quickly.
"And they are. They're delicious. Thank you."
She pressed her best approximation of an I'm-totally-not-disappointed kiss to Tara's cheek.
"Is there any whipped cream?"
Tara pushed off the counter to go to the fridge.
"That I can supply."
She got the can of whipped cream and gave two little squirts of eyes to accompany the chopped strawberry mouth.
"Perfect," Willow smiled and picked up her fork and knife to eat.
The morning stretched out into the afternoon and it became obvious to Willow that Tara really hadn't organized any family outings or events or much to mark the day at all. They'd at least go out for dinner that evening, she figured.
"Ooh, that's a great deal on meat," Tara said as she flicked through a grocery store circular, "That's perfect for the meatballs tonight."
Willow's bottom lip thrust up in a slight pout. Tara's spaghetti and meatballs were top class and worthy of many a chef's kiss, but it was also a regular meal in their rotation.
Willow shook her head to herself; she was so blessed to have the wife and family she had and here she was complaining because all she was getting was a home-cooked meal.
Tara's phone rang and she excused herself to take it and Willow took the opportunity with the kids otherwise engaged and playing to enjoy control of the remote.
She was only five minutes into a recording of Married At First Sight when Tara returned, hurriedly pulling her coat over her body.
"Willow, I'm so sorry. I have to go out on a call."
Willow let her feet fall to the floor.
"I get it, it's your job."
Tara quickly grabbed her purse.
"I need you to run an errand for me. I'm sorry, but the sale ends today and we really need the extra meat with both boys eating us out of house and home and the cabin stuff still looming."
"Okay," Willow agreed with a somewhat forced smile, "Where am I off to?"
Tara grimaced.
Willow stood in front of the sprawling warehouse; it's red, white, and blue motif inspiring not patriotism but trepidation.
"My old nemesis," she said with an evocative steeliness, "We meet again."
"Who are you speaking to?" Lily asked as she swung Willow's hand back and forth.
Willow looked down at her daughter.
"Death," she answered in a resigned tone, "Of my sanity."
She gripped Lily's hand tighter and brought Robyn along on the other side.
"Why do I have to hold your hand?!" Robyn protested with embarrassment, "Emily is younger than me!"
"Emily does what she's told," Willow countered as she dragged them both across the parking lot with Emily was being flanked by the boys behind them, "We're going in, we're getting all the meat our arms can carry so we don't have to come back here and we're going back out to the car, understand?"
"Yes, Momma," all of the kids droned together.
They entered the superstore and Willow winced at the fluorescent lights. Between shelves and carts, the sound of metal humming and hitting against each other was constant. Lots of people looked lost; others were climbing the giant metal shelves to reach something higher.
Salvation, perhaps.
Willow closed her eyes and cursed her own diminishing of her birthday that led to this.
"Come on, kids. In and out!"
Willow's plan fell to shit about forty-five seconds into the journey.
She sped around a corner, far away from where she was trying to get to and caught Lily by the waist.
"I told you not to run off!"
Lily's eyes were lit up excitedly.
"They have tires!"
Willow dragged Lily back, throwing a hand up.
"Of course they do. What kind of reasonable shop wouldn't sell tires right next to the grape jelly?"
"Momma, why don't you just get the meat and we'll go wait," JJ suggested with an exaggerated sigh.
Willow put the heels of her palms against the side of her head. She didn't really like leaving all of the girls with the boys because they could be a handful but she was legitimately scared one of them would pull something heavy down on top of themselves or she'd see them go rolling back on the inside of a tire.
"Okay, but NOT in the parking lot!" Willow replied quickly, "Go get milkshakes at the McDonalds next door. I'll send you cash."
The girls started clapping excitedly and Willow felt guilty for feeling glad that she could see them retreating.
She fought her way through the maze of lost souls and Godzilla-impersonators until she found the meat section.
She bought enough ground beef to feed an army — so probably three days or so for Kayden and JJ — and joined the checkout line that seemed to stretch longer than it had taken her to get there.
She felt she'd aged 10 years and not just the 1 when she finally got back to the car and filled the trunk with her bags.
Just as she was about to take her phone out to call JJ, she saw arms waving from across the parking lot.
"Maw!"
"JJ?" Willow asked, quickly locking the car and hurrying over to him, "Where are the others?"
JJ's hand was on his chest like he'd been exerted.
"Maw, I messed up."
Willow felt a shot of fear tingle at the base of her spine.
"What happened?"
JJ clutched his head and began walking around in fast circles.
"Momma, I messed up so bad."
Willow grabbed JJ by the shoulders.
"Jacob, what happened?!"
JJ's jaw trembled.
"I didn't mean to push her."
Willow's breath was beginning to grow ragged.
"JJ, who? What? Where?!"
JJ made wild motions with his hands.
"She wanted to climb the stairs and I thought it would be good exercise and I picked her up to use as a weight like I always do at home and I just sprinted too fast and she just went over and—"
Willow had JJ by the scruff of her shirt and would be lifting him off the group if he wasn't so much bigger and heavier than her.
"Jacob, who?!"
JJ gulped.
"You gotta come quick."
Willow thought she might throw up. She ran with JJ past the McDonalds, around the bend of the following street, and into the back of a residential building. JJ rattled the ladder on the fire escape.
"Up here, up here," he said desperately.
With lioness agility, Willow leaped for the ladder and started to climb it with abject terror making her fingers nimble as she clawed for the next bar. Finally, she pulled herself over the wall to the roof and collapsed on the other side. Her eyes darted all around, ready to pounce on whatever daughter was in need of her.
The scene was not what she was expecting.
Instead of an unconscious daughter or spilled blood or limbs twisted in directions limbs should never be twisted in, there were blankets and flowers and a little unmanned bar in the corner. There were fairy lights strewn above, an area of fake grass and lots of various garden furniture ranging from flat seats to plush couches. Beneath a canopy was a swing and on it, Tara was sitting, smiling, waiting for her.
Willow's eyes blinked rapidly.
"What's going on? Where's—"
"Happy Birthday, Momma," JJ's voice called out with a booming laugh and when Willow looked back, JJ was swinging from the top of the fire escape.
Tara stood up gracefully from the swing and walked over to help Willow up.
"You didn't truly think I'd organized nothing for your day, did you?"
Slowly, reality dawned on Willow and she was able to take a breath.
She looked all-around at the intricate and elaborate decoration.
"This is incredible," she said on an exhale, then looked at Tara and came close to punching her arm, albeit gently, "But seriously, Tara, why did you tell JJ to make me think he'd killed one of our daughters?!"
"He did WHAT?!" Tara exclaimed and looked over sternly at JJ, "I told him to tell you he dropped his phone on the fire escape."
JJ looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
"The twins said I needed to feel it so I found new motivation. Had to sell it, moms!" he explained with a keen smile and held his hand up, "Key me! Gotta get the rugrats home."
Willow huffed out a breath and tossed JJ the keys.
"Get that meat in the fridge!"
A faint call of 'on it' was heard as JJ descended back down.
Willow placed a hand over her heart.
"Wait, are they going home alone?"
Tara put her hands on Willow's arms and rubbed up and down.
"Rose is waiting at home. She just texted me to confirm. Everything is just fine."
Willow took a final, long breath, and her whole body deflated in relief.
"That boy."
"It's my fault," Tara nobly took the blame, "He was just supposed to drive you over here and tell you to meet me up here. I was the one who started making an elaborate plan when I heard you mention Costco. It was so nearby, it was perfect. I just wanted you to be a smidge stressed to make the payoff better."
She held two fingers a half-inch apart.
"This much. That's all."
"Tara, this is such a sweet surprise," Willow reassured quickly and leaned in to hug Tara, "Our son did always have a flair for the dramatics. Takes after his mother. You did light up the stage during our college drama classes."
Tara's nose scrunched
"Let's not rehash that period of our relationship."
"Right," Willow agreed readily and took a good look around, "Who's completely fabulous roof are we invading, exactly?"
"I rented it on Roofbnb," Tara explained giddily, "Will and Garrett told me about it. You rent out roof spaces for parties. But I thought you might prefer a party for two."
"You thought correctly," Willow replied and followed Tara back to the swing where Tara was pouring two flutes of champagne.
Tara handed one over and they clinked glasses.
"Come sit with me. Enjoy this magnificent view."
"Already doing it," Willow grinned as she looked Tara up and down.
Tara blushed and smiled.
"But what about that sunset?"
Willow settled back on the swing, tucked under Tara's arm.
"Stunning," she said as she ran her hand over the soft cushioning, "I've always wanted a swing like this for the porch. We could do this every night."
"We do," Tara whispered softly and kissed the top of Willow's head.
After the scare that had gotten her up there, Willow was completely relaxed and content to be in this moment. This was what she'd meant when she'd said she wanted to do nothing for her birthday. This kind of nothing. And of course — of course — Tara had understood that all along. Willow was a fool for doubting.
She wondered if that meant there was still—
"Do you want your cake before or after dinner?" Tara asked and Willow grinned from ear-to-ear.
"Both!" she exclaimed giddily, for a moment looking exactly like Lily had on their last birthday with her red hair swishing over her shoulders and her tongue sticking out between her teeth in the exact same way.
Tara smiled and cupped Willow's cheek. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Willow's lips.
"I love you so much, wife of mine."
"Wife of mine," Willow murmured on Tara's lips, "Come lie with me, and let's watch the stars reveal themselves."
Leaving the insulated bag with food from Willow's favorite restaurant and the cool bag with the cake sitting there, Tara followed Willow over to the blanket and they lay down together with their heads on the provided pillows.
They were quiet, just enjoying each other, as the sunset became a night sky and allowed the stars to twinkle above them.
"Remember how we used to do this?" Willow asked softly as she rested her head on Tara's shoulder.
"I do," Tara smiled softly, linking their fingers between them as she rested her head on Willow's, "I do."
Willow nuzzled Tara's shoulder.
"Show me Short Man Looking Uncomfortable. I always feel sorry for the guy. Lost up there in the cosmos, short and uncomfortable. I keep waiting for a stellar lady of appropriate proportion to come along and help him into a more comfortable position. It can happen. The stars are always moving, you know. Finding a new place in the sky."
She exhaled slowly.
"Of course, by the time we saw it, they would have already died. Gone. Poof."
Tara kissed the top of Willow's head.
"You're just one year older, sweetie. The cosmos isn't calling you home just yet."
"Does it scare you?" Willow asked, holding Tara's hand a little tighter, "Getting older?"
Tara looked out at the sky she'd laid with Willow under twenty years ago and knew she'd be lying with Willow again in another twenty years and another twenty after that and so on until their transformation to dust had long since ceased.
"I don't think of it like getting older. I think of it like another rotation around the sun with you. About cementing our place in the universe forever — together," she said as she rubbed her thumb on Willow's skin, "Short Man Looking Uncomfortable will get his day. Right now we have ours. Having more of it doesn't scare me when I already know it's infinite."
Willow slowly smiled and snuggled closer to Tara.
"Somehow you made me love the stars even more," she said as she identified a crooked, curved line of stars that she would forever know as the constellation of 'Tarasubridere'.
'Tara smiling down'.
Forever.
And if that didn't take her fear of getting older away, nothing would.