Hi guys, here's another chapter for you.
Thank you for all of the reviews on the last chapter. I'm really happy to see that you're all still enjoying reading this.
I hope you enjoy this chapter, this chapter is a bit of an emotional roller coaster for Jay so I hope you enjoy it.
Jay and Hailey were woken by the sound of their phones buzzing away on their bedside tables. It was just after 6:30, not an unusual time for jay to be awake at. However Hailey was different, she definitely wasn't a morning person, Jay always found it funny when she woke up in a grumpy mood.
Jay and Hailey both shifted from their sleeping positions to grab their phones and read the new case they had received. "Can't these idiots just take a day off from killing each other and let me have a decent night's sleep." Hailey grumbled out in frustration.
Jay turned back to face Hailey and just smiled at the cute sight of his girlfriend. She was so cute when she woke up, the way she would curl up underneath the covers close to his body always brought a smile to his face. "You're funny when you're grumpy Hails." Jay chuckled, Hailey flashing him a small smile back.
"Why don't you stay in bed for a little longer then go and pick up Rojas. I'll head to the crime scene now and update you on what's going on." Jay continued.
"That sounds good." Hailey replied as she snuggled into the warmth of their bed.
"You better bring me coffee though, you know how grumpy I get without my morning coffee." Jay chuckled as he hopped out of bed heading for the shower.
Jay quickly finished his shower and when he stepped back into the bedroom Hailey was already fast asleep. He was just about to leave when he looked over to her one last time, he just smiled to himself as he loved everything about her. He was the happiest man in the world when she was around.
Jay arrived at the crime scene around 30 minutes after leaving his and Hailey's home. As he walked up to the house he was met by Voight. "What we got sarge?" Jay questioned as he walked up to his boss.
"4 bodies with multiple GSW's. Looks like this was a stash house as a couple of bricks of heroin were found stashed in the kitchen. My guess is that this was either a rival drug gang or a rip crew." Voight explained.
Jay and Voight walked through into the living room. The living room was like a horror scene, the bodies of the 4 gang members had been ripped to shreds by a mixture of shotgun blasts and automatic gunfire. There were huge amounts of blood splattered across the walls and the floor of the room, the furniture in the room had been stained dark red by the blood that was pouring out of the bullet holes. Jay usually had a high tolerance when seeing gruesome crime scenes, but his stomach had started feeling uneasy at the sight that presented itself in front of him.
As Jay made his way through the crime scene something caught his eye. There were bullet holes in the wall, as he looked closer he noticed that the trail of bullet holes continued throughout the house on the same line, penetrating through anything in its path. "Sarge I've got something." Jay called out.
"What you got Halstead?" Hank grumbled in his infamous low voice as he walked up to Jay.
"Whoever was behind this was using some high calibre weapons. Look at these bullet holes, they continue on the same path throughout the house, penetrating through any object in their path." Jay explained as he showed the bullets holes to Voight throughout the downstairs of the house.
"So what sort of weapons are we talking about then?" Voight questioned. Jay was the one in the unit with the most amount of knowledge about weapons.
"Definitely a rifle of some sort, most likely an AR. But more importantly, we could be dealing with armour penetrating rounds, a normal rifle round wouldn't go through this many surfaces." Jay explained, earning a worried look from Voight. The people behind this needed to be found quickly before any more bodies begin to drop.
After looking around the scene for a little longer Jay stepped outside, taking a minute to himself. His stomach was still feeling a little uneasy, this was one of the most gruesome scenes he had ever been to.
Hailey and Rojas arrived just as jay stepped out of the house. As they walked up to him Hailey immediately noticed that Jay was a little paler than usually. "Are you alright Jay?" Hailey questioned softly as she gave him a quick hug.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just... just don't go in there." Jay warned as he felt his stomach turn for the worse. Both Hailey and Rojas turned towards each other confused at Jay's current situation.
"What's going on in there?" Rojas questioned, either one of them had seen jay effected this much by a crime scene.
"4 bodies, all with multiple GSW's. It's pretty gruesome, lots of blood. If I was you I'd go check in on the neighbours and see if they saw anything." Jay replied after taking a moment to compose himself.
"Copy that. You sure you're alright?" Hailey pushed. Jay was agreed to get the color back in this face.
"Yeah I'm good." Jay smiled back as he pulled her in for a quick kiss before they went their separate ways.
It didn't take long for the unit to crack the case and they quickly identified the suspects responsible for the murders. Luckily there was a private security camera in the alleyway at the rear of the stash house with caught the suspects armed with rifles and a shotgun.
The unit quickly rounded up the suspects and it turned out that the gang bangers they murdered had made moves on their turf. The suspects tried to deny their involvement however the evidence against them was stacking up. Not only was there the camera footage but the murder weapons were found stashed in a duffel bag in a car at the house they were found at.
Voight pressed the ring leader, Marcus, for the supplier of their weapons. Initially he was uncooperative however as soon as Voight offered him a deal if he helped out he quickly gave up the supplier of the guns.
"Right listen up everyone. Marcus gave up the supplier of the guns used this morning. His name is Tom Richards. Marcus is going to help us set up a buy with him." Voight spoke out as Adam placed a picture of Tom on the whiteboard.
As soon as Jay saw the picture of Tom he knew exactly who it was, his heart sank in his chest. "Fuck." Jay spoke out louder than expected, voicing his anger and frustration. He slammed his fist against his desk and turned away from everyone else, his head in his hands.
The sudden outburst from Jay stunned everyone, they all turned towards Jay confused at what his person meant to Jay. Hailey was the first to divert her attention away from jay as she looked over to where Mouse was sitting. Mouse's body language had changed as well, it had looked like he had seen a ghost.
"Something you want to share with us Jay?" Voight questioned.
Neither Jay nor Mouse said anything for a few moments. "I know Tom, his brother was in mine and Mouse's unit. His brother was killed and after that Tom completely lost it, he quit his army training programme and went off the grid. Our unit tried to reach out to him but it was no good." Jay explained, his voice barely above a whisper as a couple of tears trickled slowly down his face.
"Have you spoken to him recently?" Voight pushed carefully after giving Jay a moment.
"No, the last time I spoke to him was probably a couple of months after his brother died." Jay replied.
"Is there anything you can tell us about him?" Voight continued questioning.
"Tom always wanted to join the army like his brother so he's known how to shoot the whole of his life, he's a dangerous person so we can't underestimate his capabilities. Other than that I can't tell you much, in the 2 months before he went off the grid he changed a lot so I can't imagine what he's going to be like now." Jay explained.
Voight ordered the unit to dig deeper into Tom to try and find anything out that would aid them in the investigation. Hailey was watching Jay closely, she knew he would be affected by this, anything to do with his past in the army was a hard subject for Jay. Her heart ached for him every time he spoke about his experiences in the army, she had seen first-hand how much his time in the army had affected Jay.
As Jay got up and headed for the break room Hailey took this as an opportunity to check on him. "Hey, are you alright?" Hailey questioned softly as she leaned against his side.
"Yeah I'm fine." Jay replied, putting on a brave face.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Hailey pushed carefully.
"Not right now, let's get this case finished then I'll tell you everything I promise." Jay replied as he forced out a small smile.
"I'm always here for you Jay, good or bad I'll always be at your side." Hailey softly spoke.
"I know Hails, that's why I love you." Jay replied, another smile across his face, this time an actual smile not a forced one.
The next couple of days seemed to drag on for Jay, he wanted this case to be over, the case had stirred up some old memories that he didn't want to relive again.
The team managed to make a break through with Tom, he agreed to sell some guns to Atwater who would be going undercover with Marcus.
The team took no chances with Tom, from what Jay had told them they definitely classed him as armed and dangerous. They cased out the abandoned warehouse where they were doing the buy, unmarked police cars were situated around the warehouse backing up the intelligence unit in case anything went wrong.
It was the day of the takedown, everyone was focused on the task ahead, Jay managed to put his emotions to the back of his mind. Everyone was on edge waiting for the call from Tom confirming the detail was going ahead, when that call came everyone blew out a sigh of relief.
The team were hiding in the shadows of the warehouse watching the exchange between Tom and Atwater. Jay was bouncing nervously on the heels waiting for the word from Atwater, he knew how dangerous Tom was so he was worried about what could happen next.
Finally the word came from Atwater confirming the guns were there in the back of the van Tom arrived in. The team quickly sprung to action, closing in on Tom. As Atwater pulled his gun out Tom managed to disarm him and put a gun to his head, in the process locking Atwater's arm around his back severely limiting his movement. This had turned from a simple takedown to a possible hostage situation.
"Tom, put the gun down!" Jay demanded, approaching the side of Tom.
"Halstead." Tom called shocked at the sound of the familiar voice. "Wow, you've got to be kidding me." Tom continued as he moved himself and Atwater slightly to face Jay, anger clearly in his voice.
"Yeah it's me Tom. Now put the gun down before you do something you regret. We both know that you're not this type of person." Jay called out in a firm voice, clearly indicating we wasn't messing around.
"Fuck you Halstead, fuck you. You don't know anything about me. You stopped knowing me since you let my brother die." Tom shouted back as he pressed the barrel of his gun harder against Atwater's head and tightened the grip on his arm.
"Tom your brother died a hero, he made the ultimate sacrifice for his country." Jay replied in a calm voice, trying to defuse the situation.
"Stop, just stop. I don't need to hear this sympathy bullshit from you. I know my brother was a hero but he shouldn't have died when he did, he was too young." Tom cried out as tears streamed down his face. He loosened the grip on Atwater arms and the gun to his head. Jay took the opportunity and disarmed Tom before he could cause any more damage. Surprising Jay found out the safety was on Tom's pistol, he clearly didn't want to hurt anyone.
Tom crumpled into a ball on the floor after Jay cuffed him, crying at the memories of his brother. Jay felt for Tom, his brother was an awesome soldier and a great human, Jay and Mouse both got on really well with Nate. Jay sat down next to Tom, leaning against the van, comforting Tom as he let out all of his emotions.
When everyone got back to the station Jay quickly left without informing Hailey. She was worried, she knew he was struggling, this case was personal to Jay and stirred up a lot of bad memories for Jay.
Mouse entered the graveyard where Nate Richards was buried, he had pinged Jay's phone after Hailey asked if he knew where Jay was. His case had also stirred bad memories for Mouse however Jay had been affected more than Mouse. Mouse spotted Jay's truck in the parking lot and could she Jay's tall figure by Nate's grave.
"Thought I might find you here." Mouse spoke quietly as he approached Jay's side.
"I haven't been here for a long time, been meaning to stop and visit." Jay replied.
"He was a great guy. I really do miss him a lot." Mouse said as he smiled to himself thinking back to all the great moments they shared together.
"Yeah I miss him a lot to. He was one of the good guys, he was such a nice person. He was the life and soul of our unit, I'll never forget all the pranks he used to do on Lopez when he would fall asleep." Jay chuckled.
Both Jay and Mouse just stood there for a few moments, appreciating how lucky they were to have survived the war, but also appreciating that they were lucky enough to have met and spent time with Nate Richards. Nate's death was one of the memories that Jay would relive through his nightmares, out of all of the teammates and friends he had lost throughout his time in the Rangers and the police, Nate's death was one of the hardest to deal with.
"How did you know I was here anyway?" Jay questioned a few moments later.
"Hailey asked me to ping your phone. Before you say anything, she was just worried about you that's all. She knows how much this stuff affects you." Mouse quickly explained.
"She really is an absolute angel, I don't know where I'd be without her." Jay replied, his response wasn't what Mouse expected to come out his mouth but made him smile when he heard it.
"She's awesome, you've done well there Jay. Go on, go home. You should be with her not me." Mouse spoke, Jay nodding in agreement. The two left the cemetery, both heading in separate directions.
Jay arrived home, when he saw the lights on he breathed out a sigh of relief. Normally he would push everybody away in situations like this however it was different now. He would still push people away however not Mouse and most importantly Hailey. He knew how much she cared about him and he wanted to open up to her, let her into his past that he had kept hidden for so long.
"Hails." Jay called out as he slowly made his way into the living area. He couldn't see her and that disappointed Jay a little however he felt her soft hands wrap around his waist and her head rest against his back, he felt at home, safe and comfortable.
He turned in her arms as his hand tilted her chin up, he passionately kissed her, letting all of the emotions of the day go. Hailey responded after the initial shock of Jay's bold action wore off. She pulled away a couple of moments later, a small warming smile on her face as she looked into his eyes. "Where have you been? I was worried about you." Hailey softly spoke.
"I went to visit Nate. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I just needed to clear my head." Jay replied, his voice soft and quiet. They moved to the couch and Hailey cuddled up close to Jay.
"Did you manage to clear your head?" Hailey questioned.
"Yeah I did a bit I guess. I thought going to see him would just bring back all the bad memories however when I was there I just thought about the happy times. But in the back of my mind I still thought about that op and what happened that day." Jay responded, he wanted to let Hailey in on what happened that day.
"What happened Jay? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Hailey pushed carefully, she could see behind his eyes he was hurting, that day in question was something Jay would never forget. She hoped that if he told her it would help get over that pain.
"It happened during my first tour in Helmand, we were coming to the end of our deployment. We patrolled deep into Taliban territory to a small village where the locals were being terrorised. Me and my spotter were set up on a small hill just to the south of the village, we knew the Taliban were close in the next village but we didn't know when they were going to strike." Jay explained as he took a moment, a couple of tears ran down his cheek as he thought back to that day.
"The rest of my unit and another rangers unit were loading up the villagers ready to be ex-filled when the Taliban ambushed us. They popped out the tree line, probably 40 or 50 soldiers started firing on us. We were in a vulnerable position at the time so we were overwhelmed, I managed to take 5 or 6 guys out in a row when I spotted one guy with a RPG. He was loading it so I knew I had a little more time to line up my shot. I did all of my calculations and zeroed in my scope on the soldier, just as a pulled the trigger the wind speed changed slightly and..." Jay then broke down in Hailey's arms, tears now streaming down his face as he relived the moment that Nate lost his life. Hailey's heart broke seeing Jay like this, he was falling apart in her arms and there was nothing she could do.
After a few moments Jay calmed down a little and regrouped, he was trying to be strong. He knew if he told Hailey the full story a massive weight would be lifted off his shoulders. After another couple of minutes Jay continued. "The slight change in the wind speed meant that my bullet missed the soldier with the RPG by a couple of inches and hit the guy next to him. The RPG hit the truck's fuel tank and Nate was only a few feet away when the explosion hit. I watched the RPG hit the truck and saw Nate get flung. The adrenaline of the situation meant that I didn't even think that it could have been Nate. It wasn't until I was in the helicopter on the way back to base that it really hit me what had happened." Jay stopped once again. Hailey had been listening closely to Jay, the more he went on the more she realised that he blamed himself for Nate's death.
"I'm so sorry Jay, thank you for telling me this. You can't blame yourself for his death Jay." Hailey replied softly, she felt Jay's body tense up as another away of tears hit him. She held onto him tightly, hoping that she could take some of the pain away. She felt his body relax slightly a few moments later, the sounds of his crying now slowly quietening down. "I know you did everything you could that day to save Nate Jay. You couldn't have controlled the wind Jay, you can't keep punishing yourself for something that you couldn't control. You were a hero that day Jay from what you've told me, even though you don't feel like you are, you saved countless numbers of lives that day with what you did." Hailey continued trying to reassure Jay, it seemed to work as he finally lifted his head to meet her eyes.
"That day is the day that I always go back to in my nightmares." Jay finally spoke up. He sounded broken, Hailey's heart continued breaking at the sight of her usually tough boyfriend who was now falling apart in her arms.
"Have you ever told anybody else about what happened?" Hailey questioned.
"No, nobody outside of my unit knows what happened that day. You're the first person I've ever told the full story to." Jay replied.
"Thank you for telling me Jay, I can't even imagine how hard it must've have been to carry that around by yourself." Hailey spoke as she gave him a warming smile.
"It was probably one of the worst days in my life. But I'm glad I've told you as I know it will lift a weight off my shoulders that has been there for years. Even though it doesn't feel good at the moment I know it will help me." Jay responded as a small smile formed on his lips.
"I'll be your side at all times Jay, through good and bad I'll always be here for you. I love you." Hailey softly spoke as she snuggled into the warmth of Jay's body.
"I love you too Hails." Jay replied as for the first time today he felt better. He relaxed on the couch with the only person that he needed in life. Without Hailey he wouldn't have made it through today.