Just a short update since it's been a while and I've not had much chance to write. As always, I don't own the characters, that would be Talkback Thames lucky privilege. Any and all feedback is great, I really appreciate all those lovely people who've taken the time to read and review this. Thank you to you all, this chapters dedicated to you.

I have some free time tomorrow so I'm hoping to hammer out some more then and with any luck, it won't be so long before I update again next time! So watch this space as they say and keep the reviews coming whether you think I rock, suck or you just don't right royally care either way!!!

Jo snapped her phone shut after finishing her brief conversation with Lucy. It had taken most of Jo's energy that morning to insist she should attend the doctor's appointment alone, preferring that Lucy not be there to hear the results. Part of her was still terrified, despite her lover's insistence to the contrary, that if the news was not positive, Lucy would run away from their fledgling relationship. Sitting outside the surgery though and having just spoken to the young woman who had captured her heart, Jo was seriously reconsidering her insistence, not sure that she could go through with walking through the door and hearing what the immediate future held for her. With shaky hands, Jo turned the tiny mobile off and rose on even shakier legs, knowing that she could not afford to put off hearing the results of the tests she'd had done.

The door closed behind her with a dull thud, every scrap of air being drawn from her lungs along with it as though a vacuum had been created in the poky examination room.

"Take a seat Jo," instructed the young registrar Jo had originally been seen by. Jo did as she was bid, trying to concentrate on her breathing and avoid a full on panic attack – something she thought she had overcome at seventeen. If the registrar was surprised to see no one accompanying the obviously fraught woman, she did not show it. "I won't prolong the agony for you, I have the results of your biopsy and I'm sure you must be anxious to hear the news." Jo nodded mutely, dimly aware that it was all she seemed to do around the surgery at the moment. "I'm afraid it's not the best news we could have hoped for. The tumour removed did contain quite significant malignant cells and there is some evidence that it has spread to the surrounding tissue. The pathology report states that the cells taken during your biopsy exhibit characteristics of a Stage 3 Grade II tumour. You'll be getting an appointment through from the hospital to attend the Oncology clinic, a specialist will be able to explain to you what exactly this means and what the next step will be in treating the tumour. You'll need to have more tests done so the oncologists can determine if the disease has spread already or if it's contained within the breast and lymph nodes. I've been in touch with the hospital this morning. There's been a cancellation on Thursday morning so I'd really like you to attend for an MRI scan." Jo was struggling to keep up, her concentration threatening to zone out completely as she fought to comprehend just what this would mean. One thing that struck her like a sledgehammer was that the doctor was being careful to avoid speaking of curing the disease.

"Is it…" Jo's voice stuck in her throat, lodged behind a tight band which was slowly squeezing her airway. She cleared her throat and tried again, "is it terminal?"

The young GP paused, seemingly fighting an internal battle of her own over just how honest she should be with her patient. "At this stage, I can't give you a definite answer either way, I'm sorry. Aside from this, you're in good health, you're young and you're in a good position to fight it. Until further tests are done and it's clear whether this is the only tumour or whether there are others, we can't know what the prognosis is likely to be."

"But it could be right? If it has spread to other parts of my body?" Jo persisted, feeling a numbness wash over her, as though she were on the outside looking in, watching someone else receive the devastating news.

"There's a possibility, yes." The registrar conceded grudgingly. Jo simply nodded.

"When do I have to be there on Thursday? I'll have to see if I can get the time off work." Her voice had taken on a dull, almost lifeless tone, matching the emptiness in her eyes.

"There's a free appointment at 9.30am. I strongly advise that you speak to your boss and fill them in on this Jo. Regardless of the outcome of these tests, it's clear you will need some form of treatment and that's bound to have an impact on your job." The registrar consulted the computer screen on her desk. "It says here you're a police officer."

"I'll manage at work, I don't want my superiors knowing unless they have to. They'll only overreact and try to confine me to my desk for the duration of… whatever." Jo muttered, fearing that she would not be able to keep it from Sam once she saw her, the diminutive blonde having an uncanny knack for reading Jo like a book even when others had no clue that anything was wrong.

"All I'm asking is that you don't rule out asking them for support. You never know, they might surprise you." The registrar prompted gently. When Jo said nothing further, she asked, "is there anything else you' like to ask? Anything you're not clear on or want to talk about?"

Jo shook her head, feeling tears threatening to spill over and swallowing reflexively to keep them at bay. "I'd better get going, don't want you running late cos of me."

"Take all the time you need Jo. You've had some very difficult news this morning, take as long as you need to let it sink it before you go out there. Let me worry about my surgery times." The young doctor slid a selection of pamphlets across the desk towards her patient, "I think it might help you to read these before you see the oncologist. They might answer some questions you already have and raise others that you haven't thought of yet. There are also some useful phone numbers on there, support groups, information lines that sort of thing." Jo took the proffered leaflets slipping them silently into her bag before rising from the chair. "Before you go, I'd like to take a look at your stitches, make sure it's healing ok." Both women knew the registrar was playing for time, trying anything to stall Jo's departure, fearing that she was not ready to face the outside world just yet.

With a solemn smile, Jo nodded her assent, slipping her arms out of her jacket and unbuttoning the cotton blouse she was wearing. She pulled the vest top beneath it up out of the way, wincing a little as the scar pulled against her raised arm. The GP unhooked Jo's simple cotton bra, sliding one cup away from her breast to allow her unguarded access to the biopsy site. She gently peeled back the dressing, softly, deftly examining the wound below until she was satisfied she could find no evidence of infection. As she redressed, Jo felt grateful to the woman for allowing her a few more moments to collect herself before exiting the room, feeling a little better able to cope than she had ten minutes earlier. Thanking the registrar one last time, Jo took a deep breath as she left the small consultation room, striding with head down determinedly towards the exit and her car.

"Jo? God that seemed like the longest half hour in history. What did she say?" Lucy had practically been pacing up and down the small office she shared with her co-workers the entire time Jo had been in the surgery.

"It's not good news Luce." Jo was sat behind the steering wheel of her car, feeling her lips beginning to tremble and the white hot burn of tears brimming in her eyes as she heard her lover's concerned voice. "It is… this lump, it's…" The brunette could hear the word over and over in her head but no matter how she tried to voice it, it just refused to pass her lips.

"How bad?" Lucy interjected, not needing to hear it to know what they were now definitely dealing with.

"I've got to have more tests. It might be in other places too." Jo's voice was beginning to tell the strain of trying to remain stoic. Lucy could hear shaky breaths being drawn on the other end of the line and realised that her own breathing was far from smooth.

"Go home Jo, I'll be there as soon as I can and we can talk about this properly."

"I can't, I've got to get to work. You'll come over later though right?" Jo wasn't used to needing anyone but as hard as she found it to accept, she realised that she needed Lucy, heart, body and soul right now.

"Of course, but you really shouldn't be going in to work sweetheart, not after this. Sam will understand." The younger woman attempted to persuade the stricken detective to think of herself, of her own needs and what was best for her alone.

"Sam can't know. You promised you wouldn't tell her. I swear Luce, I love you but if you can't back me on who I tell and when I tell them, I can't be with you."

"Sam? Hi it's erm… it's Lucy," the blonde DI heard the trepidation in Jo's lover's voice.

"Lucy, what is it? What's the matter?" Sam crossed to her door, closing it quietly so she could talk to the younger woman in private. She caught sight of Jo just arriving at her desk, looking subdued and shockingly pale, her heart sinking as she considered that fact in conjunction with Lucy's call.

"Is Jo there?"

"She's just arrived yeah. Do you want a word with her? I can fetch her." Sam remained standing, mobile clamped in her hand.

"No, I spoke with her when she came out of the doctors. I figured she'd come straight to work. Will you keep an eye on her for me?" Lucy wanted badly to tell Sam, to talk to someone who knew Jo and also to make Sam aware of what was going on. She felt Sam deserved that at least as Jo's best friend but she was also very aware of Jo's threat if she did fill Sam in. Part of her knew it was up to Jo who she told and when but more than anything she would need support around her over the coming months.

"Is she ok?" Sam sensed the internal battle raging at the other end of the phone. "You don't have to tell me details if you can't." The diminutive blonde sought to make it as easy as she could for the woman whom she had grown to consider a friend in her own right, not just Jo's partner.

"She's had some bad news but you know what she's like, puts a brave face on all the time even when she's hurting like hell inside. She can't know I've told you anything, Sam, she said she'd leave me if I betrayed that trust." Lucy's voice cracked at the prospect of losing the best thing in her life.

"You have my word. I won't let her know a thing but I will keep an eye on her, discretely, and make sure she's ok. Hopefully, in her own time, she'll feel able to talk to me herself about whatever it is." Sam's brain was running through the possibilities, wondering what news had been delivered to Jo that morning, hundreds of worst case scenarios springing to mind as a churning sensation grew in the pit of her stomach. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, pick up the phone and call me, OK?" Sam heard sniffling on the other end of the line, fear making her own eyes sting at the possibilities her mind was conjuring up.

"Thanks Sam, that means a lot. I've got to get back to work." The women ended their conversation, the revelation that something serious was up with Jo hanging in the air as though it were a living breathing entity. Her desk phone ringing startled the DI from her reverie.