Chapter 2: Apologizing

Rey could hardly concentrate over the next several days as she waited fitfully for the Bond to re-open. For him to reappear. She knew from past experience that the Bond she shared with the Supreme Leader was a fickle thing. It had a mind of its own. As each day blended into the next without any word, however, Rey began to be overcome by a paralyzed fear that Kylo had somehow found a way to shut the Bond off forever. He was both powerful in the Force, and knowledgeable, so she wouldn't have been surprised if he had found a way to close himself off from the phenomena, as his uncle had.

Two days passed to three. The third day blended into a fourth. In that interim, the last of the Resistance limped to the relatively isolated jungle moon of Ajara, known as Ajan Kloss. An old Rebel base sat abandoned there, obscured by the overgrown jungle vines.

While growing up on Jakku, Rey had always prided herself on her ability to mask her true emotions, even on the hardest days trekking through the sand dunes. She feared her argument with Kylo, however, had left her melancholy easily written all over her face. More than once, Finn had come up to her and asked if she was all right. Rey had presented him with a fake smile and assured him that she was just tired. It wasn't clear whether or not he believed her. Even Leia at one point took the young Jedi woman aside and probed into her well-being. Again, Rey had assured the General that she was fine, just tired, but it had hurt her heart to lie. Leia had let the matter go, but still Rey feared: did Leia know? Had the Force whispered to her of its design in joining her begotten son with a lowly desert scavenger who now remained the last, best hope for the galaxy?

The abandoned rebel base was expansive enough, and there was such a depletion of people, that there was plenty enough space to go around for living quarters. Being a girl of very simple tastes, and never having needed much, Rey simply took a single room on the far edge of base where she could be alone. The loneliness had plagued her on Jakku, and she was heartily relieved to now have friends, but in her depression, she understood that there would come moments where she just wanted to be alone. To meditate and study the Force, but more often to mourn Ben.

It was late night on the seventh day, after the evening meal, and Rey was just about to prepare for bed when...

The squelching sound precluding the blurring of time and space reached her ears, she felt a fluttering in her belly, right behind her navel that seemed to pull her to -

She turned around, and there he was, studying her through his visor.

Rey tamped down the sob that lodged in her throat, and she cocked a ruffled eyebrow, attempting to look displeased. "Still wearing that mask, I see?"

Kylo shifted from foot to foot. "Would you prefer it if I took it off?" His tone was strangely... conciliatory. Almost gentlemanly.

Rey blinked, taken aback, but heartened too. "Yes, please." Her voice was small, and she wanted to curse herself for sounding like a child scrounging for portions.

Kylo moved to obey her... when the sob stuck in her windpipe partially burst free.

"Wait."

Hearing the strain in her voice, Kylo halted. He watched, almost transfixed, as Rey drifted over to him, nearly floated. Big brown eyes wide and curious, she lifted up trembling hands - dainty little hands with the softest fingers Kylo had ever seen or felt. Tentatively, Rey lifted the visor from his face.

As soon as it was free of the wavy black locks of hair that tumbled down to his shoulders, Rey cast the thing aside, not bothering to glance to where it fell. Her gaze remained impossibly gentle, almost angelic, her lips slightly parted as her fingers reached to softly touch his face. For his part, Kylo's dark eyes were doleful, tender... but heartbroken.

"Gloves, too." Rey's request was but a whisper. Between them, Kylo moved quickly to obey her request. The room was so silent, both Jedi and Supreme Leader heard the fluttering of each glove hitting the floor.

Tears glistened in Rey's big, brown eyes and her lip trembled. The rest of the sob finally escaping from her mouth, she fell to her knees, prostrated before him, clutching at his black robes.

"I'm so sorry!" she blubbered, weeping. "I hate myself for the unspeakable words I said to you! Can you ever forgive me?"

Gazing up at him, she could see that Kylo appeared stricken. "You are forgiven, and gladly," he almost crooned. Then he cocked his head for a moment, studying her. "Is that all you wish to bring before confession?" Rey knew precisely what he was referring to. Even as the tears continued to cling to her eyelashes, her cheeks, she could only stare at him despairingly.

"Ben..." she murmured. "You know that I can never apologize for leaving you." Then, she added in a whisper, "As much as I might want to."

Kylo heard the qualifier, and though his heart was wounded by her refusal to confess all of her sins, he decided to accept what was for now. At his feet, Rey continued to weep quietly, and his heart ached so for her that he slowly knelt down so that he was level with her. Sweetly, he lifted a finger under her bowed chin, so he could bask in the beauty of her face.

"Don't cry, my pet..." His voice caressed her. "Why are you still so sad?"

She whimpered, bottom lip trembling again, and Kylo felt the sudden urge to press his own lips there until her pretty mouth was smothered.

"I... I've missed you," she whispered, barely audible. "Everything around me, all the pain that has come to me, tells me that I shouldn't... but I still do." Lifting her head back up to him, she smiled weakly, wetly. "I thought you might have severed the Bond."

To her amazement... Ben actually smiled back. He seemed tempted to even laugh a little, and Rey waited almost on baited breath. It had to be a beautiful and rare sound, the joy of hearing him laugh. But he did not. Rising, he took Rey's delicate hands in his strong and calloused ones, lifting her to her feet.

"My ego is not so nearly as fragile as you suppose."

Rey was strangely relieved to hear this, and she smiled hopefully again. "Still... it was torture to sit idly with no word from you. We both know the Bond can be... temperamental."

At this, Ben did laugh, though the sound was short and abrupt, and there didn't seem to be any mirth in it. Turning, he crossed back to a writing desk that Rey knew had never been in her room. Indeed, her surroundings seemed to blend into the obsidian ones of some distant Star Destroyer, perhaps Kylo's own rooms. Seating himself at the desk, Ben took out a quill and ink, scratching along a piece of parchment. Drifting around the desk and coming to hover behind him, Rey watched with fascination as his rather large hands floated over the page with surprising tenderness. Rey knew the rudimentary basics of how to read and write, yet she had never seen someone form letters and words with such artistry.

"What are you writing?"

"A letter," Ben answered mildly, without looking up or even so much as pausing in his composing. Another beat, though, and then he did, contemplative. "Neither of us can tell when the Bond may next open again, or even how much more time we have together now. We could be separated at any moment."

"That is true," Rey pondered low. Her heart already bizarrely clenched at the thought.

Ben leaned back in his chair. "I know I have not extended you the same courtesy, in apologizing for my transgressions. However I have hurt you, I do apologize and hope to make amends. I will not, however, apologize for not leaving with you, just as you could not apologize for fleeing from me."

The muscles in Rey's chest seemed to twinge, yet she still nodded, accepting his answer. Fair was fair, no matter how inconvenient or painful.

"Will you tell me where you are?" Ben crooned.

Biting her lip, Rey hesitated. Revealing an answer like that would surely be tantamount to treason against the Resistance cause. Slowly, she shook her head.

Ben sighed. "I thought not. No matter. I still have my mother's personal hologram transponder codes." Turning back to Rey, he told her: "When the Bond cannot remain open to us, I will write you. This letter -" he waved the parchment, "... will be delivered to my mother's personal hologram, through an encrypted code. It will be addressed to you; she'll see that you get it."

Rey blinked, heart alighting, though her face remained unsure. "Won't she suspect?"

"If she does, she won't act on it. Mother is too polite a lady to rifle through other people's mail. Princesses don't do such things. It is un-ladylike." A rueful smirk upturned his lips, and Rey couldn't help but softly smile. "She may still be curious and ask questions of you though. Tell her what you will, and how you see best." This last directive sounded carefree, but Rey still knew that if Leia ever did come to her with questions, she would not betray the Bond she and Ben shared.

She started when Ben suddenly took her hand. "Will you write to me in return?" Biting her lip to hide a grin, Rey nodded. Ben's answering smile was the most radiant she had ever seen from him.

"It won't be as... eloquent as yours," Rey searched for the right word.

Ben's brilliant, gorgeous smile remained undeterred. "As long as it comes from your pen, I shall anxiously await it. You can pass it through my mother for her to send by hologram."

Just then, both young people felt a tug; the Bond was ending. "Goodbye, Rey. Until we meet again," Ben said softly, before he disappeared.

Staring at the spot where he had vanished, Rey echoed piningly, "Until we meet again..."

The next morning, Rey arrived in the mess hall for breakfast. She was just getting her plate when she heard a voice call out to her.

"Rey! Over here!"

Turning with a smile, Rey spotted Finn waving her down to a table at the far end of the room. Seated next to him, looking weak and exhausted but in fine-enough spirits was a stout woman with tan skin and a round face. Sitting across from them, Rey observed how Finn stole an arm across the young woman's shoulders. It was the same woman whom Rey had seen lying unconscious on the med cot aboard the Falcon; she remembered how Finn had draped a coat over her.

"This is Rose Tico. She's... a friend of mine," Finn's smile was bright and shy, even as his voice bobbled. "She saved my life back on Crait."

Rey beamed brightly at Rose. "It's nice to meet you, finally. You gave us quite a scare, we thought for a minute there you were going to leave us."

Rose smiled weakly, her face turning pink. "I pulled through, thanks to Finny here." She sent him a grin that could only be described as loving. Glancing between the two of them curiously, Rey frowned in puzzlement. Finny had been her pet name for her best friend, one that until now only she had ever used.

"Would you like anything to eat, Rosie?" Finn asked her.

"Blue milk, please," she requested.

"Coming right up." Finn hesitated for a parsec, studying her before diving in and pecking her on the cheek. He then exited from the table hastily. Rey could only smile softly. If her best friend wasn't in love with this fierce, spunky woman, he was already falling fast. Rose must not have been able to decipher what was in Rey's eyes, for she blushed fuschia.

"I kissed him. On Crait." She blurted out the words, and Rey's eyes went huge.

"Oh." The Jedi couldn't think of anything more intelligent to say.

Rose turned even further red, even as she giggled. "Of course, I then chose that moment to pass out, and when I woke up, we talked about everything except... where we stand. If we stand anywhere. I don't know if he feels the same."

"He does," Rey smiled encouragingly. "If I know Finny like I think I do..."

At this, Rose's hazel eyes went huge. "He does?" she whispered. "Oh, gosh, Rey, I... you're jealous of me, aren't you?"

"What? No," Rey blinked, chuckling in confusion a little. Softly, she took Rose's hand from across the table. "You don't have anything to fear from me, Rosie. Finny's like my big brother. And besides..." Now it was her turn to flush pink. "I have a love of my own."

Rose's grin dazzled at this, as she squeezed both Rey's hands between them. "Girl talk. Come on, spill. What's his name?"

Rey trilled out a laugh, by now as red as a Happebore. "His name is... Ben," she got out at last.

"Is he cute?"

"Force above, yes!" Rey groaned out. Rose squealed.

"Keep talking. You're making me feel better already! I used to do this all the time with my sister!"

"I didn't know you had a sister," Rey smiled brightly. She was quickly coming to realize that the more time she spent with this cute girl, the more she liked her.

At this, the brilliance in Rose's hazel orbs dimmed a bit. "My twin. Paige. She died during the evacuation of D'Qar, right after Starkiller."

"Oh..." Rey's face fell. "I'm sorry." She glanced down at their enjoined hands. "I've never had a sister before," she confessed. "But I'll try to be one for you if you like."

Tears pooled in Rose's eyes. "Thank you, Rey."

Just then, Finn returned with Rose's blue milk. "Here you are, Rosie."

Rose beamed at him. "Thank you, Finny." Then, her face turning resolute as she seemed to decide something, she suddenly seized Finn's face in her hands and pulled him into a deep kiss of thanks.

Though shocked, Rey watched as her best friend relaxed into the kiss in the moment just before Rose pulled away. The tan-skinned girl's expression, though shaded red, was as assertive as her kiss and no-nonsense.

"There's some stuff I think we need to talk about," Rose voiced. "I think I've made my feelings abundantly clear. I... I hope you feel the same." Lashes fluttering, she raised her eyes to Finn's shyly, only to watch as his lips covered hers in a soft kiss.

Drawing away, Finn expressed, "Yeah. We do have some things to hash out. But... I hope I've made my feelings clear too." Rose looked ecstatic, as she and Finn leaned in as one and kissed again.

Glancing down into her lap, Rey debated whether to sneak away and grant them some privacy. Fortunately, Leia Organa made the decision for her, sidling up to the Jedi. Giving only a glance towards the kissing Stormtrooper and technician, Leia said, "My dear, a strange letter arrived in my hologram this morning, addressed to you." The old woman held out a very physical envelope, black calligraphy forming Rey's name across the top. Brown eyes going wide, Rey snatched it up immediately, beaming. "Thank you, General." And she hurried away, leaving Finn and Rose still making out.

Stealing back to her rooms, Rey tore open the envelope. Scanning Ben's flowery words line by line, her heart palpitated at the knowledge that he seemed to speak from his own. His voice was sincere, and terribly romantic.

"Dearest Rey,

Please be assured that I would never shut out that which has brought sunlight into my darkest of days. Though I once foolishly cursed the enchantment that brought your lovely face to me awake, as it has already resided with me in sleep, I now count it amongst the blessings of my life. I know I have wronged you, but let not your heart be heavy, my desert flower. To run away with you was - and remains - a great temptation, though it is for your protection that you not be saddled with a suitor so vexing as I, there in your present company. There are those amongst your comrades who would sooner hang me from the gallows than let me atone for my sins in this life, much less allow me to court you the way you deserve.

Best of women, does your heart still at the reading of these words as much as they stilled mine to write them? I find your brown eyes entrancing, the curves your body svelte and voluptuous - indeed, most handsome. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day in the gardens of Naboo? Thank you, nay, I shall not, for you, my dear, are far more lovely and more breathtaking. I revel in your temperament, which can alone challenge me in its fierceness, then in the next instance, you are as docile and sweet as a lamb.

Forgive me if I am bold, dear lady, or awkward in my turns of phrase, which if spake aloud, would surely leave me stuttering like a schoolboy. Nevertheless, I do hope you will reply, and shall anxiously await such any reply that you deem fit to grace me with. Oh beauty beyond all beauty, you have my heart, though I tremble in terror to say so as I fear you may not feel the same. Still, I sally forth, and will accept that you shall adjudicate my heart as you will.

Most Sincerely,

Ben Solo

Rey could not help it. She giggled aloud, tenderly re-reading Ben's letter again. Her smile was soft though nearly blinding as she strove to memorize every single word. She especially appreciated how he had signed off as Ben and not as Kylo. Most exhilarating of all, however, was that he had confessed his love for her. Ben Solo... in love with her? Her heart quivered in delight at the thought of it. Humming to herself in curiosity, Rey dug around in the side table, finding in one drawer several reams of parchment and an inkwell. Finding a quill also, she sat down on her bed, dipped it into the quill and began to write a letter...

"My Dearest, Ben:

Your letter, just received, is most bold, sir. Most bold, indeed. Yet your words delight and charm me greatly. I have not asked the Maker for such love; regardless I feel not in the least aggrieved to have it. Such a capture as mine of your heart has never been seen since General Calrissian's successful seizure of Imperial forts at the Battle of Tanaab. Forgive me if my own words are not nearly as... verbose as yours (Rey needed to look through a holodictionary to come up with that word) for I am but a lowly desert scavenger, untrained in the artistry and grace which you attribute to me quite flatteringly, yet in haste. I should thank the Force a thousand times that it has deigned to bethrothe me to a prince, though mysterious and dark a prince though he may be. If you wish to ask for my hand in marriage, say so now. I have no dowry but my heart, which I offer to you as freely as you have yours to me. But patience, nearly Husband, patience! For there to be a wedding, first there must be peace. I shall not content myself to be a widow before I am to be a wife, as you once spoke to me. The battlefield need not - nay, it will not! - be our marriage bed. Come to me, so that we may join hands whilst exchanging rings and that our lips may meet in a righteous kiss over a treaty of peace. Wedding bells will sound at our marriage and also the forfeit of the hostilities!

I anxiously await your answer. If these words please you, perhaps I shall freely and happily call you fiancé.

Yours In Love,

Rey."

Ben had been overjoyed when Rey's reply came through his hologram the very next day. He trusted that his mother had not asked questions. Heart beating rapidly, palms sweating, as he read Rey's reply, he determined to stamp each word to memory across his heart. She was educated, flirtatious and wily in her answer... and had accepted his confession of love! The dashing of a reply was fast and furious:

"My Bride, My Intended:

Upon receipt of your letter, my heart and soul exulted. They dared to ask, what fever dream is this? Surely this cannot be real? Oh, joy, oh happy, happy day, but it is! I would submit to you on one knee this very moment if I could, but I daresay your tongue would cluck in disapproval if I were to offer you a golden band of matrimony in the post. Be assured, my beloved, there will come a day where I will appear before you on one knee, and speak in tongues more eloquent than those I now write about how much I love you. Would that I were near you at this very moment!

In this letter I have just received from you, I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase. It changed the meaning. Did you intend this? One stroke, and you've consumed my waking days - perhaps this is the cruelest stroke that my Master - whom I slew for you - once spoke of. You have referred to me as your dearest and thus sealed my fate. I am in love with you, honest enchantress. But one more moment of your time - you speak of a day where you and I will openly kiss as lovers do. Do you mean to say that I may kiss your rosebud lips, perhaps when next we meet? Reply posthaste, for my enamored wings have taken flight!

Yours,

Ben"

And when Rey next replied to him, her missive read in part:

"My Sweet Ben,

Since you plead for my kisses, I shan't torture you. Dearest fiancé and one day Husband, you may kiss me wherever you wish, however many times that you wish. I shall count each time your lips touch my body, and furthermore count the seconds until you may. I dare hope it won't be ere long..."

Back and forth the letters went like this. Rey would hand her replies - sealed in envelopes - to Leia, who would then presumably take her to her own personal hologram. The very next day, or day after at the latest, Leia would pass back to Rey a similarly sealed envelope from Ben.

After nearly two standard weeks of this, the Bond decided to finally be merciful. Rey was preparing for bed alone in her rooms, daydreaming about Ben, when she felt the squelching of time and space. That pull behind her navel. Turning happily, there Ben appeared, without his mask or gloves. Beaming radiantly, Rey let out a happy sigh and ran forward, flinging herself into his arms.

"Ben..." she breathed in a whisper, her voice tickling the strands of black hair by his earlobe.

"Oh, Rey..." Ben moaned. Drawing back, he lifted a paw of a hand to caress her cheek. Leaning into his palm, Rey felt her eyes flutter shut with a happy sigh.

"Rey?"

"Hmm?" she purred, nuzzling into his touch with a content smile on her face. Her voice was almost dreamy. "What?"

"Please won't you let me kiss you?"

"Always," she blurted out. Then, eyes blinking open, she turned as red as Mustafar magma as she stammered. "I... I mean... of course, yes, you may."

Grinning, Ben's hands cupped Rey's face, tilting her head back. Eyelids drooping closed again, Rey leaned forward on her tiptoes, breathless with anticipation. Dipping his head, Ben pressed his lips to hers in a warm and passionate kiss.

Rey let out a tiny gasp the moment his lips touched hers. This was her very first kiss, and she had no idea what to do. Feeling her knees turn to jelly, she elected to loop her arms about Ben's neck, lest she go collapsing to the ground. She shivered, swaying into the kiss and deepening it, as she felt Ben's strong arms encircle her slim waist and pull her tight against his body.

"Mmmmmmhmmmmm..." Rey groaned, allowing her fingers to sink into Ben's silky black hair. Then, she felt a slimy thing dart out to tickle her bottom lip. Ben's tongue touched her mouth again and she gasped sharply, letting her mouth fall open against his. Granting him entrance without even fully aware of that technique, she now felt Ben's tongue swimming in her mouth. Electricity coursed through her body, she felt like she was on fire.

When Ben's hands cautiously dared to touch her bum, squeezing one globe of her perfect arse, Rey's body now began to act on pure instinct. She quite brashly hiked her leg up to his waist, hooking it around his torso as Ben bunched up the hem of her little sundress with his fists. With that, Rey leapt the rest of the way into his arms, folding her legs about him.

And Ben and Rey continued to embrace and kiss long into the night...