Many thanks to those of you who continually take the time to read and those of you who are kind enough to review. I'm finding free time is a very limited commodity at the minute but am very much trying to balance work and writing so I'll do my damnedest to keep updating fairly regularly. But if it does lapse a bit, fear not, I've not been abducted by aliens or anything, I'm just working my butt off (I hate financial year end!).
As always, however you feel about what you read below, please do drop me a review and let me know, I always enjoy getting the feedback. Thanks in advance!
And no, I don't own them, apart from the likes of the Podowski family and Lucy. Everyone else is just on loan from Talkback Thames and Fremantle Media Ltd. I make no profit, I just give the characters something to do in between episodes of The Bill airing!
Jo watched as Crime Scene Examiner Lorna Hart went through the flat collecting samples and anything that might prove useful in
Jo watched as Crime Scene Examiner Lorna Hart went through the flat collecting samples and anything that might prove useful in locating the whereabouts of the young missing boy. Zofia and Izabella had been moved to a new house by attaché's with the Polish Embassy. They suspected that Dawid's disappearance could very well be linked with Niko's investigation which was still ongoing despite the man's death.
"I hope we've got enough here to do a comparison with the blood found on the trainer in the park, I've got a hairbrush and his toothbrush." The lithe Scot informed the detective. "There's nothing more you can do here for the time being Jo, why don't you get yourself back to the station and see what's what there?" Lorna attempted to steer the younger woman out of the flat.
"So you've heard too have you? News sure does travel fast." Jo snapped, tired from the day's exertions, her nerves raw and on edge.
"Heard what?" The CSE replied, confused by Jo's defensive attitude. They had always got on so well with any previous investigation, she was unsure what she had done to provoke the outburst.
"You mean you really don't know? Does gossip not reach you lot in the labs then?" Jo thought if that were true, she might be inclined to ask Sam for a transfer!
"Jo, I have no idea what you're talking about but I sincerely hope you're going to clue me in so I know if it's safe to put my head back on my shoulders!" Lorna admonished gently, leading Jo to a quiet corner of the flat, away from prying ears and eyes.
"Don't be surprised if you hear things about me when you come to the station. They all found out this morning that I've…" Jo faltered, her tongue tripping over the words.
"You've been promoted? Applied for a transfer? Resigned? Been abducted by aliens?" Lorna was gratified to see a small smile raised by her last suggestion. "What is it Jo? What's eating you?"
"Cancer. I've got cancer." As those three words left her mouth, it was as though the realisation of what it meant hit home full force for the first time. She felt her knees threaten to buckle and was mentally screaming at herself for being weak.
Lorna watched the colour drain from Jo's face, feeling her own follow suit. Her expression registered her shock but it was soon replaced by sincere concern as she watched Jo sway unsteadily. The CSE grabbed a nearby chair and steered Jo into it, fearing she would end up on the floor in a heap if she didn't sit down immediately. "Jo, I'm so sorry, I honestly had no idea. When did you find out?"
"For certain? Monday. I found a lump last week, had tests done and the rest as they say is history."
"And you told everyone today? That was very brave." The Scot assumed it had been Jo's choice to let everyone know.
"I had no choice. I testified in a case this morning and the defence was badgering me about why I'd been at the hospital. He gave me no option. Once the words were out, they took on a life of their own and it's now common knowledge at the station." Jo looked up at Lorna, her eyes imploring the CSE to accept her apology, "I'm sorry I snapped at you but since they found out most people are treating me like I'm incapable of doing my job. I didn't want that from you or anyone else."
"And you won't get it. If your bosses think you're fit to do your job, that's good enough for me. But if you need anyone to talk to, someone who is a little less directly involved, feel free to give me a call any time." Lorna reached for a pen and scribbled her telephone numbers down on a spare scrap of paper from her kit bag before handing them to the stricken brunette. Jo thanked her colleague before excusing herself and heading back to the station to report what little they had found to Sam.
"Jo you've been here for hours, why don't you get yourself off home? I'm sure Lucy would love to spend some time with you, you did promise her dinner tonight after all." Sam murmured quietly to her friend who was beginning to look as pale as a ghost, her eyes slowly sinking into her head with fatigue. The brunette's head shot up, thinking it was another insinuation that her condition meant she couldn't last the distance, until she spied the clock on the wall behind Sam's head.
"Is it really that time?" Her voice betrayed her incredulity. "Sam, I can't go home whilst that little boy is out there with heaven knows who. Tired as I am and as much as I would love to just curl up in Lucy's arms, I wouldn't be able to, not until I find something to go on with finding Dawid."
"You know as well as I do that the key to good leadership is delegation and maintaining your sharpness so you don't overlook the small seemingly insignificant things. If you're out on your feet, you'll be no good to Dawid or anyone else. Let the night shift take a look over everything you've got, maybe one of them will be able to come up with something by the time you get back. Go on, get yourself off home and I don't want to see you back here before 9am." Seeing the sceptical look on the DC's face, Sam reiterated, "I mean it Jo, you've been here for sixteen hours solid today. Even on a normal day, that's far too long but with the stress of testifying earlier on top of that, I don't know how you're still upright."
"Says you! You've been here just as long as I have." Jo retorted, still slightly aggrieved at Sam's insistence she should leave.
"I have and I've just called a taxi to take me home because I can't see straight any more let alone think about driving. I still want to talk to you about what your diagnosis means and what I can do to help and support you but tonight I'm afraid I have a crushing need to sleep the sleep of the dead! Can we take a raincheque and as soon as Dawid is found and this case wrapped up, we'll get together?" Jo looked more closely at her friend, realising just how shattered she appeared to be.
"You know you're welcome to come round any time you want to, you don't have to ask. You don't have to get a taxi either Sam, I'll drive you home." Jo began to pack away what she could, shuffling the contents of the folder she had been scouring back into its sleeve.
"No you won't but you're welcome to share my taxi. We're both too tired to be behind the wheel. Come on, let's go brief the DS."
"Hey you, I've run you a nice hot bath. I thought it might help you switch off a bit." Lucy stood on tiptoes to place a tender peck on Jo's cheek as she walked into the lounge stifling a yawn.
Jo pulled the smaller woman into a warm embrace, relishing the feel of her in her arms. "You're too good to me, you know that?" The brunette caressed her lover's body affectionately, feel some of the day's tensions drain out of her. "Join me in that bath?" It was the first time Jo had invited Lucy to see her body since coming out of hospital, having preferred to stay hidden beneath clothes, changing in the privacy of the bathroom whenever the young woman had spent the night at her humble home.
"I'd love to." Lucy took Jo's hand and led her towards the stairs.
Jo allowed herself to be guided into the bathroom, feeling a giddiness wash over her as she caught sight of her lovers efforts to create a serene and calming environment. Candles flickered benignly in glass votives, casting a soft light over the room; a small heater hummed quietly keeping the room at a comfortable temperature. "This is amazing sweetheart! What did I ever do to deserve you?" Lucy's only answer was to pull the brunette close for a smouldering kiss. With Jo pleasantly distracted, the younger woman let her fingers dance across the buttons of Jo's shirt, popping each one deftly from its hole. As the marginally cooler air whispered over the newly exposed skin of her stomach, Jo tensed almost imperceptibly.
"Trust me Jo. Trust me not to hurt you, not to turn away from you and not to push you farther or faster than you're ready to go." Lucy breathed as she pulled back to hold her lover's gaze, chocolate eyes imploring Jo to let her close. With a tiny nod, the tall brunette shrugged out of the cotton blouse, letting it fall to the floor. Lucy's breathing hitched and tears sprung unbidden to her eyes as she caught a glimpse of the bruising and discolouration spreading from the site of the other woman's biopsy. She tentatively reached around her lover, who was frozen to the spot by her fear of rejection, unclasping the simple plain cotton bra. Jo closed her eyes, unwilling to witness the disgust she was sure she'd see all over Lucy's face. She flinched ever so slightly as warm soft hands brushed the bra down her arms and away from her body. Without pause, supple lips were tenderly pressed against the very top of Jo's massacred breast, and the brunette found herself unable to prevent a single tear trickle from her tightly shut eyes. She sucked in a surprised breath, making Lucy hurriedly apologise, fearing she had inadvertently hurt the woman she cared for so deeply in her efforts to prove to her that she was still beautiful and desirable.
"You didn't hurt me baby, I just couldn't imagine you wanting to… do anything." Jo tearfully explained, the fatigue and tension dragging her into the doldrums.
"Look at me, Jo." Lucy waited patiently, mentally imploring the auburn-haired beauty to do as she was bid. Seeing that her lover was reluctant to oblige, Lucy gently guided her face to her own with one fingertip, ducking her head determined to find and hold Jo's gaze. "Please sweetheart, look into my eyes so you can see for yourself the truth in what I'm about to tell you." There was a pause again as Jo finally raised her gaze, settling it on her partner's expressive brown orbs. "I don't love you for the packaging you come in, I love you for what's inside your heart and your head. I can't say that I'm not scared; I worry all the time that I'll hurt you or do something you don't like but that's nothing to do with your illness. You mean so much to me Jo that I'd be devastated if I did anything to cause your harm or distress. No matter what happens from hereon in, in my eyes you will never be any less beautiful than you were the first time I met you." Tears coursed down both their cheeks as they stood with foreheads touching and hands clasped beside them, locked into a continued wordless exchange of love. A few moments later, Lucy raised her head, inviting Jo to finish undressing and climb into the bath before it went cold.
"Sweetheart, the water's not very warm any more so why don't we move this to a more comfortable place, like bed?" Lucy murmured, in some ways reluctant to dispel the serene cocoon surrounding their bathroom idyll.
"Hmmm, sounds like a good idea to me." Jo mumbled, her head still resting against Lucy's shoulder where they lay entwined in the tub. The younger woman prodded her waking Jo fully from her funk, pointing out that to do so would mean the brunette actually having to move. Both women laughed a little at Jo's grumbling agreement as she grudgingly stirred herself into action. The younger woman rose from her prone position where she had been immersed beneath both the bath water and her lover, having been cradling Jo in her arms for the better part of an hour. Stepping from the bath, she felt Jo wrap her in a warm fluffy towel, gently assisting her with drying off. Still wrapped only in the towels, both women padded through to the generously sized bedroom, pausing only briefly to let the bath water out and extinguish the candles. Jo spied the freshly made bed, clean crisp cotton sheets not the same ones she remembered crawling out of so many hours earlier. With a contented sigh, she turned to the woman who was making her nightmarish day recede rapidly and placed a tender kiss on her temple.
"What was that in aid of?" Lucy asked, not minding in the least as she reached out to embrace her partner.
"For being my salvation." Jo answered sincerely, relaxing into the circle of the more petite woman's arms. "They all found out today, at work, about my results and everything. This was just what I needed, even if I didn't realise it until you gave it to me. Thank you for tonight darling." The reality of all that had happened during the long day threatened to crowd in on Jo once more, so much seeming to unfold in such a relatively short space of time.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? What happened? Were they ok with you?" Lucy questioned, studying Jo's face intently. Then a thought struck her, "I didn't tell anyone I swear, not even Sam. I'm not doing all this out of some guilt trip for letting it slip…" Jo silenced her desperate insistence with a heated kiss.
"I know you didn't, I did." Those few words took the remaining wind out of Lucy's sails, her stunned expression would have been amusing had they not been discussing something so serious. Subconsciously, she shivered slightly as the night air cooled on her exposed flesh. Seeing the tiny involuntary movement, Jo guided her towards the bed, swiftly tossing the covers aside and detaching the towel from its resting place around Lucy's body. She took a breath before shedding her own towel, still hyperaware of her less than perfect appearance, before sliding beneath the covers to join her awaiting lover who was finally coming round from the silence she had been stunned into.
"That was… you must have… wow, why?" Lucy seemed to be struggling with the concept of Jo announcing her problems to the whole of Sun Hill, that much evident from her stuttered speech.
"It wasn't exactly by choice love." As the two women settled in a comfortable embrace, fitting together as though divined by fate to be at one another's side, Jo began to fill Lucy in on the events of the day and how it had come to be common knowledge about her diagnosis.
"Are you ok with them knowing? I mean in some ways it might be a good thing but it sounds like it might take some of them a while to come round. I can't believe Mickey would question you like that in front of Sam and Grace, who does he think he is?" Lucy felt herself growing angry at the slight on the woman she adored.
"It doesn't matter, Sam didn't let him get away with it and Grace has been brilliant. She's not treated me any different than she normally does. I have Sam's backing and I've also had offers from Inspector Gold and Lorna, the Crime Scene Examiner, of people to talk to if I need to. In some ways, it's actually made me realise there are more people I can rely on than I expected. Don't get me wrong, if I could change it I would, I'd be the one to tell Sam, face to face properly, not in a crowded court room surrounded by the world and his dog. But then if I could change the past, I'd go back and change the diagnosis and there's no point in dwelling on things I can't alter." Jo snuggled closer to her girlfriend, laying her head in the crook of her shoulder and draping a protective arm across her midriff.
"I'm sorry you couldn't be the one to choose how and when people found out sweetheart but at least it's out there now and not hanging over you as something to be faced, to be dealt with." Lucy turned her head and placed a sweet kiss into Jo's auburn locks, hearing the older woman stifle another yawn. "Now, off to club duvet with you, Miss Masters and no arguments." Lucy heard a soft murmur as she lay beside her lover, softly stroking her silky hair, lulling the woman into a deep sleep. Only then did she let her own tears come, her fears for the future unfold in her mind and her terror at the battle ahead consume her. Silently, she wept, praying to any divine being that cared to listen that she would not lose the most precious thing in her life because of this cruel disease.
"Morning Jo, you're looking better than when you crawled out of here last night!" Sam greeted her friend and colleague warmly with a steaming mug of coffee.
"Lucy was incredible, had a bath ready for me and then ordered me straight to sleep!" Jo grinned seeing a slight blush starting to develop on Sam's cheeks as she spoke, gently teasing the tiny blonde for having a dirty mind. "When you've finished grovelling in that gutter DI Nixon…"
"Oh come on Jo, surely you remember what it's like when those around you are in love and you're not getting any!!" Sam responded good-naturedly taking the ribbing on the chin.
"What you need is a damn good night out, you'll soon see the heads turning and all eyes focusing on you." Jo was used to complimenting Sam and thought nothing of it, even as Sam's blush grew more vivid.
"I think you're mistaking me for someone else. Besides, I don't want a one night stand, I want something that's going to last the distance, like you and Lucy seem to have." Sam uttered wistfully.
"In that case, get down to your nearest travel agents since that's where I pulled Luce! Went in to book a holiday for one and came out with a phone number and a dinner reservation." Jo grinned recalling the first time she had met the young exotic looking woman who had captivated and mesmerised her with her brooding good looks and enthusiasm for the more unexplored rural regions of Italy.
"Ok, that's it, who are you and what have you done with the real DC Masters? The Jo I know is never this perky at just gone 9 in the morning. It usually takes you until at least 11 o'clock and four cups of coffee before you even vaguely resembling human!" Sam teased back, grateful to see the spark back in Jo's eyes, a vibrancy which had been understandably dulled during recent times.
"Let's just say I had a very pleasant alarm call this morning." It was Jo's turn to blush as she mentally reminisced about her antics with Lucy a few hours earlier.
"And on that note, I'm going before I need a cold shower and start considering ravishing Stuart again!" Sam laughed, adding as she turned to leave, "it's good to see you smile again Jo, I was beginning to worry you'd forgotten how." She winked and headed into her office, leaving Jo to pick up from the night shift, sifting through all the information surrounding the missing young boy. She flicked through a few notes which had been left for her, tossing a couple aside for attention later, before her eyes settled on one written all in capitals, demanding her immediate attention. She sat down at her computer, logging on and tapping her pen impatiently whilst waiting for it to load up her profile. Once the machine was ready, she navigated to the internet, following the link laid out on the note she had found, her blood freezing in her veins at the images which filled the screen.
"Guv, you really need to see this," she hollered, heedless of the numerous murderous looks she received from colleagues who were not yet fully awake and alert.