A/N: Apologies once again for the delay - been a mad time with changing jobs and then not changing jobs after all. Anywho, enough excuses and on with the story. If you enjoy it, or even if you don't and you want to tell me to give it up, please feel free to review. And my thanks as always to those lovely people who do take the time to let me know what they think of the chapters, it sure does give my muse food for thought. Now all I need is a gadget to slow down the passage of time and we could all be happy bunnies!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from The Bill, only my own do I claim to have any ownership of and I do not intend to profit from their creation in any way, shape or form. We're just here to have a fun time, some trials and tribulations but I promise they'll be reporting for duty at their next shift.
The few seconds it took for the doctor to breathe seemed to last an eternity for Jo and Lucy, both of whom were holding their own breath. "I'm very pleased to have some good news for you. From what we can see, the tumour is an isolated occurrence. There appears to be minimal involvement of the surrounding tissue and lymph nodes and no evidence at all of further tumours developing elsewhere at this present time." He allowed a few moments for the news to sink in. Jo felt tears spring into her eyes and allowed them to fall freely onto her cheeks, having spent the time in the scanner preparing herself for the worst.
"What happens now?" Her voice sounded scratchy and hoarse even to her own ears as Jo addressed her consultant.
"Now, we decide how to tackle the tumour which is present. There are a few different options open to you; a lumpectomy where we remove the lump and enough of the surrounding tissue to be sure the area is clear or you could opt for a full mastectomy, which would involve removing the entire breast. With either option, I would strongly recommend a course of radio- and chemotherapy to ensure that all the malignant cells are destroyed and to minimise the chances of it returning. The length of these treatments will be dependent on what you choose to do." The doctor paused once more giving both women chance to digest the information thrust at them. "Have you given any thought as to what you would prefer?"
Jo nodded, she and Lucy had discussed it at length the previous evening, weighing up all the pros and cons of each option. "I'd rather have the mastectomy, I want to know it's all completely removed."
"And what about reconstructive surgery? We can arrange for this to be performed at the time of excision which would mean just one operation rather than returning for reconstruction at a later date." The consultant explained.
Jo had assumed that she would have to wait until the area had settled down before any sort of implant could be installed. It was a prospect she had been dreading, waking from the operation to find herself significantly and noticeably lop-sided. Strangely, the thought of an uneven chest bothered her more, although only marginally, than the possibility of losing her hair. Hair, she concluded, could grow back of it's own accord once treatment was completed and there were more accessible ways to disguise the temporary baldness than there were to distract others from the lack of a breast, especially when she was so naturally buxom. "If that's possible, I'd like to go ahead with it at the same time." She felt Lucy squeeze her hand tightly in support and she glanced across at her lover touched by the warmth and love emanating from her eyes.
Jo allowed the door of the bathroom to swing shut behind her, relief gusting out of in her one breath, forced out from between clenched teeth. She had made her excuses to Lucy, needing a few moments to collect her thoughts after leaving the consultation room. Tears fell unchecked from her eyes as the enormity of the news she had just received set in. Even if she had managed to maintain a reasonably calm and positive exterior for the sake of those around her, in her own mind and heart, Jo had convinced herself that the scan would reveal further inoperable tumours. Increasingly over the last few nights, she had lain awake long after Lucy had silently cried herself to sleep, her heart breaking at the thought of leaving the young beauty alone and in pain. She mentally offered up a prayer to any Deity caring to listen, thanking Them for her good fortune and asking that it might continue into her treatment.
"Sam? It's Lorna, I got your message." Lorna paused as someone walked by, too close to earshot for her liking.
"Hi Lorna, thanks for calling me back. So what do you think? Can you stand another evening in my company?" Sam attempted to continue the guise of asking her colleague to meet up for a social drink, just in case the phoneline had extra ears.
"I think I could cope with that. What time can I expect you?" Lorna made clear the meeting would once again take place at her home without having to verbalise her thoughts.
"I'll be there at 8pm if that's ok with you?" Sam questioned.
"See you then. Bring your appetite with you, I'll cook." As soon as Sam hung up, her phone vibrated in her palm. When she saw the name displayed on the tiny screen, she almost dropped the mobile in her haste to answer the call.
"Jo! How did you get on? What's the verdict?"
Jo felt a lump rise in her throat once more as she listened to Sam's anticipation on the other end of the line. It shouldn't be so hard to pass on good news, she mused, but then it wasn't like she had much experience in this department. The longer the pause went on, the more anxious Sam became, thinking the worst and figuring that Jo was having a hard time putting the diagnosis into words.
"It's good news Sam," Jo managed eventually. "There are no other tumours that they can find at the minute and there's not much evidence that it's spread to the area around the tumour I do have. There's a cancellation in surgery tomorrow morning, my doctor wants me to take it." Both women's hearts were pounding so hard they were each sure the other would be able to hear the unmistakable thudding.
"Wow, they don't hang around do they? That's good though right? The sooner you have the operation, the sooner you can begin treatment. I assume there will be some form of treatment as well?" Sam blathered, her mind racing into overdrive about the implications. The news on the surface seemed to be positive, no metastases of the cancer, but then there was the urgency with which the hospital seemed to want Jo in which contradicted the relief that the worst was over.
"I've got to have radiotherapy and chemo too for the next few months. It might take time to find the right one but hopefully this will kill it off for good and make sure it doesn't reappear a few months or years down the line.
"How soon would you start the… treatment?" Sam faltered, finding herself unable to refer to the procedure by name and make it all the more real in her own mind.
"Chemo Sam, it's ok to say it. I have cancer but it's treatable and with any luck curable. If I have anything to do with, I will damn well beat it. There are too many things left that I need to do before I'm ready to pick out my harp and wings." Jo heard a soft snicker on the other end of the line.
"Getting ideas above your station there Jo? Who says you're headed heavenwards?" Sam teased gently, grateful to Jo for understanding her reticence and taking it in her usual stride.
"Only every woman I've ever been with! According to them, I'm already a Goddess!" Jo cracked back, at which point Sam was mightily grateful she had not been drinking or eating or else her desk and everything on it would have been liberally decorated. Lucy slugged Jo playfully on her shoulder, grinning from ear to ear and fully anticipating what Sam's reaction would be.
"Oh God Jo!" Sam groaned.
"Yep that was pretty much how it was with them too, see I'm a shoe-in at the pearly gates!" Jo continued to joke, knowing that by now Sam's cheeks were almost undoubtedly crimson. It felt good to joke with her close friend, laughter being something sadly lacking in their encounters of recent times. Sobering, she continued, "I don't intend on going anywhere for a long while yet Sam, I'm afraid you're stuck with me."
"I'm very glad to hear that Jo, I really am." Both women fell silent, content to listen to one another's breathing for a moment and just share their deep connection.
"So how's your day going? Are there any developments on the case? Anything you want me to do on my way in?" Jo asked after a few moments.
"You're not still coming in are you? Don't you want to spend the rest of the day with Lucy? I mean, you're going into hospital tomorrow morning, you'll be out of commission for a while…" Sam was incredulous, all the more so because of recent accusations levelled at Jo. If only they knew the real Jo Masters, she thought, no one would ever question her unwavering loyalty to her job and the people she was tasked with protecting.
"And I'll have all the time in the world to spend with Lucy when I get out of hospital and I'm a whiny miserable arse! For today, I need to know I've done all I can to help you find Dawid before I go off radar." Jo pointed out logically. Lucy rolled her eyes, making clear she was overjoyed at the prospect of looking after Jo the invalid.
"Are you sure you're feeling up to it? No one would blame you if you didn't come in today."
"Sam, I'm on my way ok? Now what needs doing?" Jo strolled out to her car, taking her lover's hand in her own and feeling strangely weightless despite what was facing her just one day away.
"There are a couple of people who we're still trying to get hold of from the houses around the school." Sam gave Jo the details of which households they had been unsuccessful in reaching and received assurances that she would call after dropping Lucy off. The women hung up both feeling much more focused on their respective tasks at hand than previously.
"Listen Jo, I was thinking, maybe it would be nice to invite Sam over for dinner tonight. It might be the last time you feel really up to entertaining for a while and you and she still need to have that talk you promised her." Lucy broached a subject she had been considering for a few hours with her partner as they parked in front of Sam's workplace.
"I think that's a lovely idea. I can but ask. I'll run it by Sam as soon as I get to the station and let you know. What did you have in mind since my cupboards are pretty much bare!" Jo reached over and tenderly stroked a palm across the younger woman's face, always amazed with how mature and wise she was for her tender years.
"I had noticed! I can pick us up some pasta and chicken and bits on my way home if you like? I'll do my special." As if on cue, Jo's stomach grumbled loudly protesting at the lack of sustenance it had received so far that day.
"I'd say me and the beast in my belly think that is a marvellous idea. I know Sam will love it." Jo leaned across the car to where her gorgeous lover was preparing to disembark and placed a soft, reverent kiss on her lips.
"Not that I'm complaining but what was that in aid of?" Lucy murmured, trying desperately to resist the urge to devour Jo's lips hovering tantalisingly close to her own still.
"It was a thank you; for coming with me this morning, for standing by me, for caring enough about my friends to want to cook for them even though this might be the last night we get to spend alone for a while, for so many things that you've promised to do and that you have already done just by being you. I just wanted you to know that I do appreciate you and I love you with all that I am." At Jo's heartfelt words, Lucy lost all pretence of self restraint and plundered Jo's mouth greedily, heedless of their passing audience.
"I love you too sweetheart and no matter what the next few days, weeks, months, hell even years may hold, I will be right here by your side for as long as you'll have me." Lucy leaned in for another passionate kiss before tearing herself away reluctantly before she lost any sense of decorum she still possessed. "I've gotta go and get some work done or else you and I will be spending the night in one of your finest cells for gross indecency!" Lucy's eyes smouldered with a promise that Jo would be treated to an explosive night once the doors were shut and they were alone. Every fibre of her being sang with the knowledge that such a fantastic woman wanted her so badly, she felt quite light-headed from the thrill.
Jo waltzed into the station, feeling quite proud of herself despite only being able to speak to one of the outstanding neighbours they wished to question regarding Andrew Kirk. The information she had managed to garner from her quest should give another batch of possibilities for the team to look into, leaving her feeling satisfied that she was doing all she possibly could to help catch the evil paedophile who had snatched Dawid.
"Working part time are we now DC Masters?" Superintendent Heaton glowered from the doorway to his office as he watched the detective cockily climb the stairs.
"Not at all Sir, I've been out interviewing potential witnesses in the Podowski case." Jo felt her bubble burst immediately, wondering who had got his knickers in a twist for him to berate her as soon as she arrived.
"Really? So you've found someone willing to say they know where the boy is then have you?"
"No Sir…"
"I think the swagger in your step is a little unjustified then don't you?" With that he turned on his heel and slammed his office door behind me.
"Pardon me for breathing." Jo muttered to herself as she stomped the rest of the distance into CID.
"Jo, what have you got for us?" Sam asked as Jo seated herself at her desk.
"Nothing apparently." Jo griped still smarting from her unwarranted dressing down. At Sam's quizzical glance, she outlined the information she had managed to sweet talk out of an elderly couple living a few doors down from the school. At first they had been reluctant to talk, for fear of reprisals Jo surmised, but once Jo assured them their name would be kept out of any enquiry, they were a lot more forthcoming. They gave her details of times when they had witnessed a man fitting Kirk's description entering a property just across the road from them, often with young children in tow. To begin with, they thought nothing of it, knowing that there was a school just up the road and the youngsters seemed in no distress but then they realised that although the children went in with this man, they rarely ever left with him – often remaining in the house until much later, long after school lunch hour had finished and always with different men. "The house is registered to a Mr Graham Jenkins though the couple I spoke to seemed to think he was out of the country and renting the property out through a local estate agent." Jo supplied, feeling some of her confidence returning as she watched the faces of her colleagues.
"Brilliant, well done Jo. Mickey, you see what you can find out on this Jenkins character, see if he really is abroad and if so where, what doing and how long is he out of the country for. Grace, do some asking around the estate agents, see if this property is being let through one of them – if it is we might be able to compel them to give us the name of the current tenant. I'm sure they would want to know if the terms of the lease were being broken." Jo watched the other scurry off on their quest as Sam gave them their duties, an odd feeling of detachment settling across her as she worked to step back from the case, knowing that after today she would not be involved. "Jo, can I have a word in my office?" Sam asked gently, wondering what the detective's initial comment had meant.
"Sure." Jo followed Sam, thinking that this would provide the perfect opportunity to invite the petite woman round for dinner that evening. The dynamic blonde DI closed the door behind them, leaning against it as she regarded Jo carefully.
"What's up?" Sam locked her eyes onto Jo's own intently. Jo was used to being guarded but had learned quite some time before that there was no hiding anything from the astute woman whose gaze was currently boring into her like a laser.
"Heaton." Jo replied, wracking her brains for how to explain to Sam the Superintendent's attitude and remarks.
"What did he say to you?" Sam asked trying carefully to disguise the fact she already knew there was an issue brewing where Jo and John Heaton were concerned.
"It was more that he was on my case as soon as I walked up the stairs. You said yourself we got some good information from that couple, I was pleased with that but he dismissed it out of hand because I hadn't found out where Dawid is. I know it's not concrete that anything will come of it, I'm not that naïve but it's more than we had yesterday." Jo ranted, her shoulders slumping as she realised that no matter how hard she tried, she would not be able to just walk away from this investigation. Her conscience and her sense of duty refused to allow her to leave it unfinished.
"You did a brilliant job to get that information Jo and you know that we will all do everything we can to follow up every lead that it creates. Now though, you have to think about yourself." Sam crossed the room to stand in front of the taller woman, wrapping her arms loosely around her waist and resting her head against her shoulder, heedless of the prospect of them being seen despite her dispute with the brass over her ability to manage Jo. "I can't even begin to tell you how glad I was when you called. It's the best news we could have hoped for. Promise me you'll tell me if there's anything I can do for you? I know you have Lucy but I don't want either of you struggling through this alone."
Jo returned Sam's embrace gratefully, briefly thinking about how well they fit together and that in another life, had things been different, that they would have made an incredible partnership. "Come over for dinner tonight?" Jo whispered into Sam's hair, feeling an overwhelming urge to surround herself with the people she loved that night.
Sam faltered, her head and heart torn between duty and her deep desire to spend the evening with her closest friend. Jo sensed the hesitation and thought that Sam was about to claim she'd be intruding again. "I already have a date, of sorts." Sam told her quietly. Jo pulled her head back, staring at Sam appraisingly.
"Who is he?" There was no hint of the disappointment she felt in Jo's tone, just glee at her friend prospectively finding someone to share her life with.
"She, not he. And it's not really that kind of date." Sam muttered, feeling the beginnings of a blush creeping up from her neck as she thought of sharing a date with Lorna. She felt herself squirming under Jo's intense scrutiny and understood how she could so easily get suspects to confess.
"Explain Ms Nixon. Who is she? And if it's not a 'date' date then how come you're as red as a beetroot?" Jo enjoyed turning the tables on her friend, her disappointment forgotten as she pumped for more information.
"It's to do with work. I'd put it off but it really is important. Please Jo, I can't talk about it, not here and not yet but trust me to say that when I can tell you I will." Sam looked away from the woman still holding her in a loose embrace, fearful that her resolve would break if she continued the eye contact.
"Ok I'll let that slide, for now, but you do like this woman, whoever she is? Come on Sam, there's more to this than work and we both know it. You never blush like that about our working dates!" As if on cue, the colour spread back across her cheeks illustrating Jo's point perfectly.
"I don't know, I really don't. Part of me thinks I just want to be a good friend to her, she's in a difficult situation at the minute, but another part of me would love to just spend time with her, work be damned." Sam and Jo had talked a few times about Jo's sexuality and how the brunette had known her preferences lay with other women but Sam had never openly questioned her own proclivities. "How do I know what kind of relationship I want from her? And what the hell do I do about it if I'm falling for a straight woman?" Sam broke out from Jo's arms, turning to face the window as her inner torment threatened to overwhelm her. She wrapped her own arms around her tiny frame, hugging herself as if to protect against a cold which was not tangible to anyone else.
"Welcome to the world of grey areas Sam." Jo murmured close to her friend's ear. Placing a supportive hand against the small of her back, she continued, "you'll know what to do if you listen to your heart. You're excellent at reading people so I'm certain you'll be able to tell if this woman would be receptive to the idea of more than a friendship with you. And if she's not, if she really is 100 straight, I'm afraid you'll just have to learn to live with unrequited love until someone more available comes along and you find another outlet for you emotions."
"But what if I cock it up Jo? What if I make a complete idiot out of myself? Or worse, I do something to let her know how I feel, she responds and then I find that I don't feel that way about her after all? Argh, why is it so complicated? Why can't love just be love and have done with it?" The taller brunette guided her fractious friend around to face her, needing to look her in the eye as she spoke.
"Sam, listen to me. I know you and I know your penchant for analyzing things to death before you make any kind of move so I don't reckon that you'll jump in with both feet before you've had chance to examine this from every angle. Take your time, see how the idea of being in a relationship with another woman sits with you before you even think about getting involved with someone else. If she's the one, she'll still be there when you know in your own mind what it is that you want and need. This doesn't mean that you'll necessarily spend the rest of your life with a woman, this one or any other; it doesn't make you gay; it doesn't even make you bisexual. All it means is that you've found someone who has struck a chord with you and with whom you might be able to see yourself being happy. Promise me you won't do anything before I get out of hospital and we can have a proper chance to talk?" Sam's face registered her horror as she realised how selfish she must be sounding.
"Oh God Jo, listen to me blathering on about something as trivial as this when you're facing what you're facing." Sam's apology was forestalled by gentle fingers on her lips.
"Don't you dare say you're sorry for treating me normally Samantha Nixon, I'd never forgive you. I'm glad you feel able to talk to me about this and I hope you know that no matter what is going on, I will always, always, be available for you to talk to. Come and see me in a couple of days, when I'm back home? We can chat the night away and you can tell me all about this lovely lady. After all, fairs fair; you had to vet my girlfriends so the least I can do is assess this one as your potential partner!" Jo suggested, noticing a wry smile tug at the corner of her friend's mouth.
"Let's see how you're feeling after the surgery and everything but I like the sound of that."
With a wink, Jo turned and headed for the door, "I'll go chase down some more leads before the end of shift. Can't have you all slacking while I'm lounging around being waited on hand and foot!" Both women sniggered at the thought of that, despite the seriousness of the reason for Jo's enforced rest.
"Sir, a moment of your time?" A disembodied head slipped around the corner of the door into Superintendent Heaton's office, followed by the rest of the person as they were waved in.
"What's the news?" John Heaton asked of the young man standing before him.
"Thought these might interest you." A mobile phone displaying photographs of two CID officers in an intimate embrace landed on his desk in front of him. "They were in her office for around half an hour, mostly like that, very touchy feely."
"Thank you Stuart, very interesting. Do me a favour and email them to this address. Make sure they come from an address outside of this building, don't want you being compromised." At the thinly veiled dismissal, DS Turner retraced his steps out of the office after retrieving his phone and slipping it back into his pocket. As he let the office, his face took on the appearance of someone who had just received a right royal bollocking from their officer in charge, knowing that few people would find that a stretch to believe.
And that's all for today folks. I'm working on the next chapter so hopefully it won't be as long until I can get that up online. Let me know what you think by reviewing and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading.