I don't own any characters you recognise from The Bill - if I did own the show, I'd still have it on air somewhere, somehow!
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Enjoy :)Sam crawled into bed in the dark room, moving stealthily to avoid waking Lucy up. Her lips still tingled from where Lorna had spent the previous quarter of an hour kissing her goodnight, thoroughly and wonderfully. As she settled back against her pillow and pulled the duvet up around her to ward off the night's chill, her mind wandered back over the evening and its subsequent turn of events. She catalogued the easy tactile nature which had blossomed between herself and Lorna and how natural it had felt to be curled up in her arms. Despite the rational part of her brain threatening to cast doubts on the budding liaison, her heart was singing at the comfort she had found and the level of passion she had felt from a simple kiss. Throughout all of her many relationships, Sam had never been so aroused from just a kiss. Usually, it took much more before she considered herself ready for further physical intimacy but at the first touch of Lorna's lips, Sam had been ready to devour her whole. The ferocity of it scared her more than a little, she feared that she might become so consumed by her desire that she would lose all focus for anything or anyone else. It also crossed her mind that her body was simply reacting to a serious case of lust and, once that had been sated, there would be nothing left to maintain a relationship with the older woman. She hoped against hope that that wasn't the case, the thought of Lorna not being around brought tears to Sam's eyes.
"You ok?" The soft voice in the dark startled Sam.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," Sam turned her head towards where Lucy was lying on her back.
"You didn't, my brain keeps waking me up," Lucy admitted as she rolled onto her side to face her lover's closest friend. "You seem restless, want to talk about what's on your mind?"
"I don't know, I don't know where to start or what to…" Sam sighed in frustration at her own inability to articulate.
"Is it Lorna?" Lucy asked gently.
Sam's eyes widened in the night time gloom, her eyebrows crawling towards her hairline. "What? How do you know about Lorna?" For a moment, Sam considered the possibility that Lucy, unable to sleep, had come back downstairs and seen herself and the Scot kissing.
"I watched the two of you all evening. For someone who knows the signs, it was pretty clear there was an intense connection between the two of you. Are you and she together?" Resigning herself to staying awake for a while, Sam rolled over to face her inquisitor, propping herself up on one elbow and resting her head on her hand.
"No… yes… maybe, sort of… it's complicated," she babbled earning a soft laugh from her bed companion.
"Well I'm glad we cleared that up!" Lucy giggled.
"Oh shut up, it's alright for you, you know how you feel about Jo and how she feels about you. It's not something new for you," Sam grumbled good naturedly, but the slight tremor in her voice betrayed the truth in her words.
"Falling in love and being attracted to someone, anyone, isn't new to you either Sam. Sure, the fact that this time, you've developed feelings for a woman, might be something new and I'm guessing that acting on those feelings is definitely something new but it's really just part of the same beast. It's all about following your instincts and listening to what your heart and mind are trying to tell you in between the fear and the doubts and the second guessing yourself. Trust yourself, trust Lorna. And talk to one another or to me if you want to work through something, don't dwell on things alone and turn yourself inside out worrying over something that might not need worrying about. And I'm sure that when Jo is back home, she will be more than happy to talk to you about any doubts or concerns you're having, in fact I'm sure she will demand to speak to you and hear all the details for herself!" Lucy found herself once more wondering how her lover was doing.
"You must think I'm so selfish, worrying about my love life when you and Jo are going through something so awful." Sam reached out to Lucy, finding her hand under the covers and holding it in a gesture of support.
"Not at all. In truth, I'm glad you're grabbing a chance of happiness and not wasting time out of some misguided sense of needing to put your life on hold for Jo. Her illness just proves that we all have to live our lives to the full, every chance we get." Lucy squeezed Sam's hand briefly, content to maintain the connection.
"Still, I should be the one supporting you, not the other way around. Want to talk about what's going on in your head that keeps on waking you up?" Sam shifted a little, changing the position of her arm as she felt pins and needles begin to tingle in her fingers from lack of blood.
"I'm just missing Jo. I can't help wondering how she's doing at the hospital; whether she's getting enough rest, whether she's behaving herself for the nurses and doing as she's told. And then I get to thinking about what's facing her, facing us, as she battles to beat this cancer. I'm scared Sam; scared for Jo, scared I'm going to lose her, scared I'll do or say the wrong thing and end up hurting her when it's the last thing I want to do, scared that the disease will win and I'll have to watch her slip away from me a little more every day." Lucy let her fears pour out, feeling safe enough with Sam to let down her guard.
"You're human Lucy, you're bound to feel that way – if it's any consolation, I share many of your same fears. Only time will tell if Jo can get through this but we're never going to give up hope, not until there's none, not one tiny shred of it, left to cling on to and we'll do that by helping each other through it. You can count on me to be there and I'm sure Lorna as well, she cares for Jo a great deal too. And there are many people at work who have a lot of time and respect for her too who will be there if you need anything at all. Like you just told me, talk to people – be it Jo or myself or someone you trust and you're close to – whenever you feel your fears are getting the better of you."
"What am I going to do if I lose her, Sam?" Lucy broke down in tears again as she considered the possibility her girlfriend would not survive the battle.
Sam shuffled closer, gathering the distraught young woman into her arms and holding her close, glad that she had insisted on her staying the night. "You'd survive; you'd go on and live your life in a way that would make Jo proud. Just like you're going to do when she does win the battle and you have her by your side for the next however many years you can put up with her bad jokes and unfathomable love of all things football related." Sam attempted to inject some levity into the conversation, to calm the brunette in order for them to both be able to wind down enough to get some sleep at least. She contented herself with holding Lucy close, allowing her to vent all her tears in Sam's embrace before growing still and quiet, her steady, even breathing signalling that she had succumbed to the need to rest. As Sam too allowed her eyes to drift shut, her last conscious thought was of Lorna kissing her soundly.
"There'll be a man in a maroon hooded sweatshirt in the alleyway behind the Dog & Partridge pub in Canley at 6.30 tomorrow morning. Tell him what you need him to know, he will do the rest." Strains of classical music drifted through the earpiece, accompanying the woman's smooth voice and soothing Heaton's frayed nerves.
"Good. I presume he's reliable." The police inspector knew he was treading dangerous ground questioning her choice but he needed to be sure that this would happen in order to appease those putting pressure on him to make the investigation go away.
"Of course. This… 'assignment'… is preferable to the alternative on offer to him," he was assured, shortly.
"Excellent. Your fee will be arranged and delivered to you by close of business tomorrow." Heaton gave no further indication of what that fee entailed, nor how it would be delivered. He knew it was neither necessary, nor wise, to discuss such things on an unsecured line. He disconnected the call and poured himself a generous glass of Scotch whiskey, swilling the amber liquid around the tumbler and watching it wash over the ice cubes in its path. He pondered his options, choosing to hold off on confirming the situation could be taken care of until he had actually spoken to the man with whom a meeting had been arranged, not wishing to jump the gun and risk having to face the ire of the Order. He doubted that they would be keen to let one of their prized acquisitions go but assured himself that he could make them see the wisdom of such a course of action. He glanced at the clock, knowing it was late into the night and there was little more he could do but felt the restlessness for which he had found only one cure gnawing away at him. He grabbed his second mobile, the one he kept purely for this reason alone and always paid cash for when he topped it up, not wanting a contract or any paper record in his name associated with it. Hitting the speed dial he had assigned the telephone number to, he listened to the dialling tone and waited for the call to connect.
"Good evening, London Leisure Services, how may I help you?" The voice sounded slightly bored, as though it was a slow and dreary night to be working the phones.
"Mr Adams here, customer number H3870N. Are there any appointments available tonight, say in the next half hour or so?" Heaton's palms sweated in anticipation, the thought of securing a service causing a thrill of anticipation to flow through him.
"Let me just check the diary for you, sir." He heard the clicking of keys as the telephonist entered his reference into her computer. Moments later, "is it your normal leisure package you're interested in this evening, sir?" Heaton knew his past history and preferences were stored in the company's database, a thought which made him slightly nervous as he thought of the possibility of that information ending up in the wrong hands.
"Yes please, if possible," he answered, taking another sip of his whiskey.
"And will you be requiring a commemorative DVD? There's a special offer on this month which includes a feature length DVD of your experience for half the normal price."
Heaton thought about that for a moment, weighing up if the risk of owning a DVD was worth it in case he was unable to secure their services for a period. "Yes, I think I will take advantage of that offer."
"Excellent, sir, I'm sure you will be satisfied with all aspects of your experience. I've booked you in at the usual place, your appointment begins in twenty minutes and will be charged to your account in the usual way. Enjoy your night Mr Adams." Heaton disconnected the call and drained the rest of his whiskey, hoping that no overzealous traffic officer would stop him en route to his destination. He swiftly changed into something more suitable for the impending activities before he made his way to the garage to retrieve the unobtrusive car he had registered in the name of Michael Adams. Anonymity on evenings such as this was very important to him. The stakes were too high to consider anything less.
Sam awoke as a body beside her stirred. At some point during the night, she had ended up being spooned by the young brunette with whom she was temporarily sharing her bed and whilst she did wish for it to be an alternative companion, the feeling of waking up in someone's arms was not an unwelcome one. She squinted at the clock, allowing her head to flop back down onto the pillow while her senses accepted that it was in fact morning. Lucy had woken another couple of times, clinging to Sam as though she were her only lifeline and sobbing her heart out. Sam herself had joined her on one occasion, giving in to the fears she too held for Jo's welfare, which combined with the stress of the Podowski case and her confusion around her feelings for Lorna left her spent and weary. She slowly moved to disentangle herself from Lucy's arms, her sense of obligation driving her to be the first one up so that she could cater for her overnight guests.
"What time is it?" Lucy's voice was still sleep-laden and reminded Sam of her daughter when she first awoke.
Sam turned around to look at the drowsy young woman, a gentle smile gracing her own tired face at the sight of the dark unruly hair framing a creased brow and tiny pout. "It's a little after seven, why don't you go back to sleep? You must still be shattered. I'm just going to put some coffee on but it'll keep for whenever you want to get up so stay as long as you want to."
"Thanks Sam, for everything. I really appreciate your support, especially since you hardly know me and…" The enigmatic blonde cut off any further words with her fingertips as she pressed them to Lucy's lips.
"I know all I need to know about you to know that I'd be letting Jo down badly if I didn't help you to help her. I'd have to be blind not to see that you're the best thing to happen to her in a long, long time. Now sleep. I'll come and wake you for breakfast in a while if you're not up." Lucy nodded as she stifled a yawn, closing her eyes and sinking back beneath the bedcovers, her body succumbing to the overwhelming need for more sleep. Sam watched her for a moment or two longer before making her way to the bathroom to freshen up. She pulled on a well worn fluffy robe and soothed a hand through her short blonde hair to try and tame the worst of it before venturing down the stairs and into the kitchen. She busied herself setting the dishwasher going and preparing a pot of filter coffee, paying no attention to her surroundings.
"That coffee smells wonderful. Are you really trying to make me want to never leave?" Lorna's voice sounded close to Sam's ear, making her jump slightly, not having been aware of the other woman's approach.
"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that when they have pots of hot liquid in their hand, it could lead to a nasty accident!" Sam warned lightly, feeling a little awkward as she wondered what the current correct protocol was for the morning after making out like a teenager. "Did you sleep ok?" Sam resorted to falling back on being a gracious hostess, making small talk and pouring Lorna a mug of the freshly brewed coffee along with her own.
"I did, thank you. How about you?" Lorna noticed that Sam was having difficulties making eye contact, her heart falling at the prospect of being told that the previous evening had been a mistake. In truth, she had spent quite some considerable time lying awake, replaying the night's events in her mind before sleep had found her. Even in slumber, dreams of Sam had followed, leaving Lorna with a craving to hold her close once again.
"I've had more restful night's, I'll admit but Lucy needed someone and I think I did too. Do you take milk or sugar in your coffee?" Sam still focused on her beverage-making duties rather than looking at her guest.
"Just a dash of milk, thanks." Lorna gratefully accepted the steaming mug containing her aromatic morning brew, inhaling its scent deeply and releasing a contented sigh. "Are we going to talk about last night or would you rather chalk it up to experience and forget it ever happened?" Lorna asked at length when the silence became too stifling to bear.
"Lorna…I'm sorry…I…" Sam stuttered, struggling to put her confusion into words. A large part of her simply wanted to sink into the tall, willowy Scots body but she had nagging fears which prevented her from giving in to her yearning. "I don't know what I do want but I know I don't want to lose you," she admitted shyly.
"That won't happen, no matter what we decide this is between us. First and foremost, Sam, you're a good friend." Lorna deliberately placed her mug on the worktop and moved closer to her blonde host. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy what happened last night. I can't deny that kissing you was incredibly sensual. That said, I'm not about to push you into doing anything you don't want to do. If you tell me that you want us to just be friends, I'll respect that but I will always be here for you in whatever way you need me to be regardless of what you decide." As she finished speaking, Lorna noticed Sam was shaking. Her heart was torn between reaching out to the smaller woman or holding back, not sure if physical contact would be welcomed or if it would be too much for Sam to deal with.
"I'm scared, Lorna. How pathetic is that?" Sam confessed, her face downcast.
"It's not pathetic at all and if it helps at all, I'm petrified!" Lorna angled her body slightly further towards Sam but was still sure to give her plenty of space to escape if she so chose.
Sam's questioning gaze swung up to meet Lorna's slate grey eyes, "you are?"
"I am. This is a big thing for me, Sam, I haven't even considered a relationship of any kind with anyone since James…and never before have I been attracted to a woman. I'm in completely foreign territory here," Lorna confirmed sincerely.
"But you would be interested to see where this could go between us?" Sam couldn't keep the faint note of hope out of her voice.
"I would, if you're agreeable to that but if you'd rather forget the whole thing, I'll understand."
"Can we take it slowly and see how things develop? I do want to give whatever this is a chance. Life's too short not to take a few risks," Sam stated determinedly, edging closer to Lorna even as her heart hammered at the thought of what they were proposing to begin. The redhead tentatively opened her arms, reaching out to envelope Sam in a warm, tender embrace, breathing a sigh of relief and contentment when the petite blonde slid into the space she had created.
"We can take it as slow as you like, slow is good with me." The two women cuddled closer, relishing the feeling of being in one another's arms again and each silently hoping they could make something work between them.