So as always, thanks to those of you still reading this story and I hope that you're still finding something of interest in it. I own very little in life and what I do lay claim to certainly does not extend to the fabulous characters recognisable from The Bill. I'm just giving them a little exercise time out of the storage crates they now call home and promise to put them back none the worse for wear afterwards and with just as few pennies in my pocket as I have right now!
If you get the chance, drop me a review and let me know if this chapter rocks your world, cures your insomnia or just gives you an overwhelming sense of 'meh' - my muse does love feedback of all varieties and flavours :)
"Hi, it's me," Sam breathed into the receiver.
"Hiya you," Lorna replied with a gentle smile. "How are you doing?"
"I'm ok, how are you?" There was a shyness to their interaction that neither woman was quite used to.
"I'm fine. What's up? Why only ok? Is Jo alright?" Lorna encouraged the DI to open up and talk to her freely.
"I think so, as well as can be expected at least. I saw Lucy earlier at the hospital, she was a bit of a mess. Jo sounds like she's depressed, she was refusing to see anyone at first but Lucy persisted and got her to talk a bit." Sam fiddled mindlessly with the slats of the blind covering her office's windows.
A thought suddenly struck Lorna, "why were you at the hospital today? Did you go especially to see Jo?"
"No, I was there on a case. We found Dawid earlier today after a tip off, had to take him to get him checked over," Sam replied, a slight edge creeping into her voice as she recalled her earlier warning by DCI Meadows.
"That's great news. Is he alright? Except for the trauma he's suffered obviously." Lorna enquired, relieved that something had gone right for the detective at least.
"Yeah, he's got some physical injuries following his ordeal but mostly he was just happy to see his mum and sister. He was well enough to go home with them so hopefully he'll be resilient enough to bounce back from what happened to him with their help and the help of psychologists." Sam paused, not entirely sure why she had called the Scottish woman other than knowing the sound of her voice would soothe her frazzled nerves. "I've been warned to close the case without much further questioning or risk my career."
Realisation dawned on Lorna as she recognised that Sam had simply called because she needed a friendly voice. "Well, we knew that you wouldn't be allowed to dig too much further anyway and it isn't worth jeopardising your job over. That little boy is back with his family which is what matters most." She spoke the platitudes she felt obliged to, suspecting that Sam would still want to investigate the matter further given the pictures Lorna had shown her and knowing that until the people responsible were caught, there were other children at risk. "We can talk about it over coffee if you'd like?" Lorna made the suggestion knowing that it was a discussion which would need to take place away from potentially prying ears.
"I'd like that but I'm not sure when we can get together with us working different shifts for the next few days." Sam also thought that it might be an idea to give themselves a few days space from one another. The almost overwhelming urge to spend every available moment getting to know the redhead scared her slightly and she feared that being in Lorna's company too much would negate her conviction to take things slowly.
"What time are you finishing today?" Lorna asked, knowing that she needed to share her suspicions about her possible arson case with Sam as soon as possible. Sam swallowed thickly, hearing the urgency in the other woman's voice and mistaking it for keenness to get together.
"We agreed to take things slowly…" Sam began only to be interrupted.
"And we will, we are going to, but there's something I need to discuss with you relating to an ongoing active case. Purely shop talk, I promise," the CSE assured her could-be lover, deducing that Sam too was unsure still about the wisdom of entering into a relationship together.
Sam's interest was piqued by the other woman's cryptic remark. "Ok, well I have another couple of hours but I'll be finished by seven. You're on 'til ten aren't you?"
"I am but if you're amenable, I can fit in a break in about half an hour. What say we meet at Café Nero on Brannington Road?" Both women had their doubts about the wisdom of meeting up but professionalism overruled any discomfort and drove them to agree to the clandestine get together.
Jo felt the sharp scratch of a needle being inserted into her skin as the shunt through which she would receive her chemotherapy was inserted and taped into place.
"Ready to get started?" The kindly doctor looked at her patient while attaching the IV tube leading to a bag of clear, viscous liquid.
"As I'll ever be," Jo assured her, taking a deep breath as she attempted to prepare herself for the invasion of chemicals into her body. She knew the purpose was just but that didn't mean she had to like the thought of being slowly poisoned in the name of curing this insidious disease.
"I'm sure you've been forewarned of what to expect and that it might take a while to find a suitable combination of drugs to treat you with so I won't bore you with all that again. What I will ask is that you're completely honest with us about how you're feeling so that we can intervene if something doesn't feel right ok? Don't think you have to be stoic and put up with something if it is causing you a great deal of discomfort. Obviously, it's not going to be a pleasant sensation and you are likely to experience nausea and a general feeling of being under the weather but anything extreme, or anything you haven't heard listed as a normal side effect, let us know." Jo nodded her assent, bracing herself as the fluid began to make its way through the tube towards her arm. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she fought to regain control before a full-blown panic attack took hold of her.
"Come on, you can do this, you gotta get used to this, come on Jo, get a grip," she muttered over and over to herself as an cool sensation travelled up her vein until the liquid was heated to body temperature.
"First time huh?" A voice from beside her startled the brunette into re-opening her eyes, not realising at what point she'd closed them.
"That obvious huh?" Jo asked with a shaky smile towards her new companion.
"The hair gives you away, no wig ever looks that good!" The response was good humoured but tinged with a hint of longing. "It's ok to be nervous." The tall, skeletal woman with sallow skin sunk down into an easy chair beside the couch on which Jo was reclining. She extended a bony hand towards the brunette. "I'm Saira. As you can probably tell, it's not my first time. More like my hundred and first or that's what it feels like anyway."
"Jo. Uh… I'm Jo," the brunette stuttered, grateful to this woman for making an effort to put her at ease but not at all sure she could cope with trying to be sociable right at that moment.
"Hi Jo, so what's your caustic cocktail trying to kill?" Saira asked, fingering the bandana wrapped around her own barely tufted scalp, eyes still raking over Jo's luscious brown locks. "Mine started out for breast cancer two years ago and I really thought I'd beaten it but three months ago I found another lump so here I am, attending chemo parties on an all too regular basis again."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Jo intoned sincerely, wondering if that was what she too had to look forward to; having her hopes raised only to find them dashed against the rocks. "Mine's breast cancer too," she admitted quietly, still having trouble speaking the words out loud.
"Well don't let my recurrence scare you, I'm assured that I'm in the minority but then I always did have to go that extra mile to be different," Saira quipped with a self deprecating grin.
"How do you keep so… blasé about it?" Jo asked, genuinely perplexed given that she was filled with such a sense of injustice and anger herself.
"I don't always but I learned early on that a large part of the battle is won in your own mind. The body is a weird and wonderful thing and it reacts according to your state of mind. If you convince yourself that every shadow you see is the Grim Reaper coming to carry you off to pastures new, chances are sooner or later, that will come true. If, however, you look the cancer in the face and tell it to take a hike, that it won't drive you into a pine box six feet underground, don't ask me how but the treatment works far better. I still have days where I get angry and depressed and scared that I just don't have it in me to beat it a second time but I made myself a list of all the things I have to live for; things I own, people I love and who love me, places I want to go, things I want to do and see and I will myself to imagine a world without me in it, to see the pain my friends and family would go through. All that gives me the fire I need to make damn sure I hang around for a good while longer, to spare them as much hurt as I can even though it's hard for them to see me like this." Saira looked closely at the brunette, seeing the tightness around her eyes increase as the drugs began to infiltrate her system. "I won't say that it gets better, I'm afraid I'd be lying to you but it does become less of an alien sensation. Music helps some people to get through the treatments, others bring books or magazines to read, some play games on laptops, I've even seen one or two trying to work whilst receiving chemo. In time, you'll know what helps to take your mind off what's happening inside your body but for today, I just wanted to see if I could help in any way to distract you." Despite her initial reservations, Jo was immensely appreciative of the other woman's caring and showed her so with a bright, thankful smile.
"I guess it will give me a chance to catch up on all those books that have been gathering dust on the shelves in my bedroom." Jo closed her eyes as a wave of dizziness washed over her, her stomach churning in a highly unwelcome fashion. Saira was beside her in an instant, a disposable bowl held close to Jo's chin as the colour drained from her face.
"Breathe through it, Jo and don't fight it. Save your strength for the battles you can win. Trust me, this is one thing that you will unfortunately have to get used to." Saira rubbed a hand over the expanse between Jo's shoulder blades comfortingly as the other woman continued to try to swallow her gag reflex. "The anti-emetic they gave you should start kicking in soon." Even as Saira spoke, Jo could feel the queasiness subsiding a little. It was still there, she was still conscious of it, but at least it was bearable.
"Thanks," she muttered once she was convinced she wasn't going to actually be sick. "I can see this is going to be a really fun ride," she griped tetchily, never having been fond of vomiting.
"It'll be a rollercoaster, that I can assure you of. Fun? Not so much assurance on that score but it is relatively short lived. The symptoms, once your body gets into the regime, they only last a day or two after your treatment and then you get a period of something closer to normalcy until your next treatment." Saira sought to reassure the new patient, feeling as though her experience was something she could offer at least.
"Great, I'm having daily treatments to start with, guess that means I can look forward to feeling pretty lousy for a while," Jo groused. She had hoped that once she healed a little from her surgery, she could at least return to desk duties at work in order to pass the time but that was looking unlikely, at least for the moment.
Saira nodded her understanding. "They have to be aggressive to begin with in order to make sure the drugs get past your body's normal defences so that it can reach any cancerous cells and destroy them. What do you do for a living?" Saira asked, the enquiry seemingly non-sequitur but she wanted to try to make her point using the woman's own experiences.
"I'm a police officer," Jo replied, resting her head back against the cushion of the couch wondering if Saira was simply finding a tangent in order to distract her or if the conversation was actually going somewhere.
"Ok, so think of it like this; if you know that there's a ruthless armed criminal behind a door, you wouldn't knock politely and ask him to please behave, would you? You'd go in there with a planned and targeted apprehension team and make sure he was dealt with strongly and swiftly, right? It's the same with chemo, they've got to take the direct, swift approach to tackle the problem and then they can take their foot off the pedal once the initial danger has passed." Saira waited a beat, watching for Jo's recognition of her logic. "How many cycles have they got you down for?"
"Three, so I've been told." Jo's voice was growing weary, a need for sleep threatening to overtake her.
"Not as bad as it could be then. You'll be over the worst in a few months – I realise that probably seems like a lifetime away right now but the time will soon whiz by in a blur of treatments, scans, x-rays, appointments etcetera." Saira could tell that her companion was fading, surprised that she had lasted this long into her first treatment before succumbing to the need to escape into a world of sleep and dreams. "I'm going to give you some peace now but if you get lonely at any time, feel free to get one of the nurses to come fetch me and I'll sit with you again." Jo just nodded, stifling a yawn and allowing her eyes to drift shut, a welcoming darkness enveloping her.
"Thanks Lorna," Sam murmured gratefully as the redhead slid into the wooden chair on the opposite side of the table Sam had chosen for them, pushing a tall mug of spicy scented chai latte towards the blonde woman.
"You look tired," Lorna informed the DI, her tone intimate and concerned as she settled herself more comfortably on the hard seat.
"It's felt like a long day," the blonde admitted, quietly.
"A lot has happened," Lorna agreed, still feeling the shy awkwardness lingering between them despite her assurances to Sam earlier that this was simply a business meeting. "Listen Sam, I wanted to see you because of a fire I was called out to investigate this afternoon. I might be barking up entirely the wrong tree but there was a building over the road from it which tugged at my consciousness until I remembered that detail Izzy gave you from the videos she'd been made to watch by Kirk. Like I say, it might be nothing but the detached house that was burned down showed several signs of the fire being non-accidental, it was opposite a boarding school which has a dome and a cross on its roof and…" Lorna paused, unsure how to explain why DS Turner's attitude had disturbed her so much.
"What is it Lorna, what else about it makes you think it's related in some way to those videos?" Sam prompted, feeling her own fears about the real reason for Lorna requesting the meet up slipping from her mind as she fell into ultra professional mode.
"DS Turner attended the scene and was most insistent that I report to him directly any evidence I find. He seemed to be always watching me while I was collecting evidence and he was pressing me for information as soon as I finished processing the scene. It's nothing tangible really but something about the insistent way he kept asking what my initial thoughts were felt off." Normally, Sam wasn't too fond of relying on gut instincts, preferring solid irrefutable evidence to build her cases on, but she had to admit, in this instance, she would have been willing to make an exception even if she and Lorna had not been growing steadily closer. Something about Stuart's behaviour of late rankled with the detective and she had her own suspicions that he was involved in some way in whatever deception Heaton was orchestrating.
"Ok so say that the house which was razed to the ground by the fire is the same place that those videos were filmed and possibly even the same place that Dawid was held by the real abductor or abductors. It still gets us nowhere because last time I checked, fire damage mostly negates any hopes of finding evidence." Sam stated, her tone thoughtful.
"Ordinarily I'd agree with you, the extent of the fire did destroy practically every part of the building above ground, causing extensive damage to all the rooms which would at the very least taint if not obliterate any physical evidence of Dawid being held there or any other wrong doing." Lorna pulled some photographs out of her bag, copies of pictures taken at the crime scene earlier in the day. "I saw this trapdoor when I was tracking and measuring the accelerant patterns. I couldn't get to it because of the amount of debris and I suspect that the fire crew would have insisted on checking the structural integrity before they allowed me anywhere near it. I couldn't risk them tainting the evidence so I mentioned to the fire officer in charge that I wanted to be the first one to access that area of the house when the rest of the building was declared safe enough to venture down into any basement rooms. There could be a whole host of evidence down there Sam that hasn't been touched by the fire and depending on how well insulated it is, there may only be minimal water and smoke damage."
"Oh God Lorna, what if there are others down there? What if the fire wasn't set just to get rid of evidence but to get rid of witnesses, of victims too? We need to get into that basement and check what's down there." Sam's face reflected the horrific thoughts going through her mind; of young children locked in a sound-proofed basement, slowly choking on thick acrid smoke and being unable to escape.
"We don't even know it is in any way involved, not for sure. It might just be an insurance job by someone who's fallen on hard times or somebody who pissed off the wrong person. Let's not jump to conclusions and start worrying over things that are only remote possibilities before we know for definite we have reason to. I understand your fear and believe me, I share it wholeheartedly but I'm hoping that even if this is the place those videos were filmed, it is too much of a risk for the people responsible to suddenly have to find replacement children to star in their sick movies if they eliminate any they already have." The women were speaking in hushed tones, leaning their heads closer and closer together in an effort to avoid anyone overhearing their sensitive and disturbing conversation. Their gazes locked, both sets of eyes widening as they took in the closeness of their proximity to one another. Sam's eyes flickered almost imperceptibly downwards but Lorna still felt her gaze brush over her lips as though it were a physical touch. "Sam, we need to be careful," Lorna murmured, not pulling away even slightly, despite an almost overwhelming urge to lean just a little further forward and cover the blonde's lips with her own.
"We will be," Sam whispered in return, her breath ghosting across Lorna's mouth in a tantalising caress. "We need to get in that basement though, it might be the breakthrough needed to put a stop to this circle once and for all." Despite Sam's words, her dilated pupils assured Lorna that she was not alone in feeling the effects of their position.
"But you have no probable cause to insinuate yourself into this investigation and we don't want to raise any alarm bells with Stuart. Let me see what's in there and if it's something you need to know, I promise you will be the first person I share it with. If I find any kind of possible connection with your case, there's no way they can not let you take over the investigation." Lorna saw no way of Sam accompanying her into that basement which wouldn't alert the wrong people to their interest.
"What if someone decides you're too much of a threat by snooping around? I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you because I let you take all the risks." Sam allowed some of her personal feelings to creep in to the conversation, fearing slightly that the other woman would consider her to be clingy or overprotective.
"We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it and we do have the insurance policy lodged with your friend just in case. And I'll make sure to keep my phone with me at all times so even if I get locked in the basement, I can call you to come and rescue me, how does that sound?" Lorna teased her would-be, could-be lover gently, no hint of admonishment in her tone. She admitted to herself that it was endearing to hear Sam so concerned for her welfare.
"Promise me you'll be careful. Please Lorna, even if only to humour me." Sam's tone turned plaintive, her eyes boring into Lorna's sharp green orbs.
"I promise, sweetheart," the redhead assured, tenderly placing a palm against her companion's cheek. Sam smiled a little and leaned further into the gentle touch, relishing the warm, comforting contact.
"When you look at me that way, I feel like the luckiest woman alive," the DI admitted, keeping her gaze steadily locked with the Scots. She knew it wasn't an opportune moment to bring the conversation round to more personal matters and realised that soon both of them would be forced to go their separate ways and return to work but there was something intoxicating about the other woman which Sam was powerless to ignore.
"I'll be honest with you Sam, I panicked this morning when I dropped Katie at school. She made a remark as she was getting out of the car that made it clear she knows there's something between us and I convinced myself I would put the brakes on this, at least until I can be sure she's really ok with the prospect of a relationship between you and I." Sam moved to extract herself from Lorna's caress, from the hand still softly stroking her cheek but found herself unable to withdraw as Lorna wrapped long, slender fingers around the back of her neck, lightly holding her in place. "But seeing you again, sitting here with you so close, I realise what a fool I was to believe I could ever hope to stop this. Katie told me she likes you, she thinks you're cool which from my daughter is high praise indeed, and as long as this doesn't hurt her, I can't deny us. And when I don't let fear rule my heart, I don't want to stop this."
"Lorna… I…" Sam was lost for words, a rarity for her she acknowledged with self deprecating irony.
"Ssshhh, you don't have to say anything, don't have to commit to anything, I just wanted you to know that I want this and I will wait for you for as long as it takes for you to be confident and comfortable enough with the idea of us to pursue it, no matter how long that is." With one final gentle caress of Sam's leonine neck, Lorna retracted her arm and rose to leave. "I'll call you as soon as I find anything out you need to know. See you soon, Sam."
"Yes, you will," the diminutive blonde replied assuredly, knowing that it would take an almighty force of nature from seeing the redhead again very soon indeed. Her hormones were ablaze following Lorna's heartfelt statement and part of her wished they were somewhere far more intimate and private so that she could show the other woman just how comfortable she was with the idea of a relationship between them right at that very moment. A larger part appreciated Lorna's sentiment, that she would give her the space and time she needed to be sure that a physical and emotional entanglement was what she wanted and that she was not acting out of lust alone. She blew out a shaky breath, casting a glance around her to see if anyone had noticed their intimate exchange, shocked to see the retreating form of DS Turner swaggering back towards the station.
So that's another chapter done. What did Stuart see and what will he do now? What evidence will Lorna uncover from the fire? Watch this space to find out... Updates will come faster with reviews as encouragement ;) Lol