Once again, a massive thanks to A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith for your reviews. Honestly, they do mean a lot to me (and I'm not saying that to get you to review here as well, I just want to say a genuine thank you for taking the time and trouble to let me know your thoughts).
Onwards, ever onwards. As always, I own very little in this story - if you recognise it from the telly, it ain't mine nor do I claim that it is! No profit or money of any kind in fact is being made from this, I'm just letting the characters flex their muscles since it's awfully cramped in those storage crates.
Jo slunk into the kitchen, slipping into place behind her lover as she stood at the counter making drinks for them both. The meal that Jo had prepared was cooking in the oven, giving her chance to welcome her lover home. The incident with Sam earlier was still preying on her mind and, despite nothing actually having occurred between them, she still felt that she owed it to her lover to be honest. Resting her chin on the shorter woman's shoulder and wrapping her arms securely around her trim waist, Jo dropped a tender kiss against the side of Lucy's neck.
"Mmm, that feels nice, sweetheart," Lucy murmured as she sank back against the taller woman's firm body. "Did Sam manage to distract you from the terrors of daytime telly today?" The teaspoon clanked noisily against the sides of the mug as the raven-haired woman stirred milk into her own coffee.
"Yeah, we did a lot of talking… about her and Lorna, how things are going between them… what it's like being with a woman." Something in Jo's hesitant tone made Lucy turn around in the detective's embrace, wanting… needing to see her face.
"They ok?" Lucy thought that perhaps Sam had discovered some latent vein of homophobia within herself or something along those lines and had inadvertently hurt Jo by reacting badly to the thought of a full, physically intimate relationship with another woman.
"They… um… they slept together... last night… for the first time. Sam was… she panicked… was over thinking everything and working herself up into a complete state about not being able to satisfy Lorna, not being enough for her. We got to talking about… how she could learn… about how I learned… about what more she could do. I leant her some books and a DVD that I had, I figured she'd get more use out of it than either of us." Once started, Jo was in full flow, talking at a mile a minute and barely pausing for breath, needing to get her confession out without interruption. "Sam was so anxious, I just wanted to do anything I could to put her mind at rest, to make her see that it's something beautiful and natural to be with a woman, not something to fear in any way." Lucy had a gnawing pit of dread growing in her stomach as Jo babbled, wondering quite how far the assistance in Sam's understanding of lesbian sex had gone. "We got on to talking about making love to a woman with your mouth. Sam's never… none of her previous lovers have ever done that for her, she didn't understand how it could be pleasurable. I…uh…I demonstrated…"
"What?" Lucy blurted, wrenching herself from Jo's arms and scooting down the edge of the workbench to put some distance between them.
Jo reached out for her, begging her with her eyes to allow her touch, but Lucy shied away. "Not like that, I used her hand as a substitute to demonstrate on. I wouldn't… I couldn't do that… not ever… not to you."
"I presume there's a reason you feel the need to tell me this?" Lucy's tone was cold, her stare hard, clearly illustrating her displeasure.
"I almost kissed Sam. We both just got caught up in the moment. But then you rang before we did…"
"Well I'm sorry for interrupting your moment…" Lucy barked, making a move towards the door.
"I'm not," Jo responded vehemently. "The entire time I was showing Sam what it could be like, I was thinking about your body, about what gives you pleasure, about what I love doing to your body to drive you wild. After I got off the phone to you, I went to find Sam – she ran into the kitchen as soon as she realised what we'd been about to do – and we talked. We both acknowledged it was a mistake, would have been a mistake, and that we both cared for you and Lorna far too much to screw up like that. Sam and I are friends, nothing more. In that moment, it was nothing more than a physical response to what we'd both been thinking about – I wanted to kiss you, to hold you in my arms and show you how much I love you. Sam told me that she had wanted it to be Lorna where I was too. I needed to tell you, I needed to be honest with you because I know that you deserve nothing less than my complete honesty." Jo remained where she stood, not wanting to crowd the younger woman or risk driving her from the room by approaching, leaving the ball in her court following the revelation.
"Geez Jo, you don't do things by halves do you?" Lucy sighed, running a hand through unruly raven curls. "I can't say that I'm not hurt by what you and Sam almost did but I do appreciate you being upfront with me about the fact that it happened. I'm no saint, Jo. I've been caught in situations where my hormones have overruled my head too… not since we've been together though so don't go torturing yourself wondering whether I've been with anyone else… but I've also grown to know Sam at least some while you were in hospital. I've seen how she can be, how she can turn herself inside out worrying about something she doesn't really need to be worrying about. I'm disappointed that both of you didn't have more restraint but I'd hope that good sense would have kicked back in even if I hadn't phoned you when I did. It might take me a little while to forget but as far as I'm concerned, nothing happened, so there's nothing to forgive. I'm not saying I'm pleased about it or that I'm ok with it but it's in the past. Let's just have dinner and move on."
"That was Jack, they've taken a look at CCTV footage from the school. It was definitely Stuart Turner himself who took Katie. We know what car he was driving so that gives us something solid to search for. There are officers scouring every available piece of film from the area to try and trace which direction they went in," Grace informed Lorna, Moira and Sam as she re-entered the lounge. Sam was perched in one of the armchairs beneath the curtained window, allowing Lorna and Moira to cling to one another on the sofa. By unspoken agreement, it had been decided that there would be no show of the nature of their relationship while there were witnesses around, at the very least not until all official police presence had dissipated. Sam wondered how Lorna would feel about that including Sam herself since she was now there in an official capacity as the family liaison officer. It hadn't been announced yet but it would be irresponsible and unprofessional for Sam to conduct a personal relationship with the woman when she was tasked with acting as the go-between for the family and the police. Her heart ached at the thought of having to withdraw exactly the kind of support she wished to offer the Scot at the very time she needed it most.
"That's good, that's positive. At least it is a place to start looking for them," Lorna intoned. Although her words were buoyant, her tone was flat as though just going through the motions and scarcely allowing herself any kind of belief that she would see her daughter again.
"It is, Lorna, it's a good place to start," Grace assured the subdued CSE, locking eyes with Sam and indicating via a tilt of her head that she wished to speak with her in private.
"I'll put the kettle on, I'm sure we could all use another shot of caffeine." Sam rose without waiting for a reply, closely followed by Grace.
"Terry is over at the school still. There are suggestions that one of the teachers might be involved. One of the science teachers, Matthew Sheldon, left at the lunch break and didn't return. He told the head that it was due to personal reasons when asked why he suddenly needed time off, said he'd only be a couple of hours but that it was unavoidable. We're tracing his movements also in case he was headed in the same direction as Stuart. Sheldon had only been a teacher at the school for around a month, having been drafted in to cover for another teacher who was forced to leave to take care of a sick relative." Grace watched as Sam moved easily about the kitchen with an air of familiarity.
"What's the world coming to Grace? Is there nowhere kids are safe? I mean how many more background checks can we put people through before they're allowed within a hundred miles of children?" Sam vented her frustration as she ran a ragged hand through her shoulder-length ash blonde hair.
"For every safety check we put in place, there will always be someone determined enough to find a way around it, Sam, you know that. If at least some criminals weren't smart enough to keep one step of the law we'd soon be out of a job," Grace advised, knowing that the questions were rhetorical really but sensing that her senior officer was struggling with the implications of this case. "DCI Meadows asked you to be family liaison, didn't he?"
Sam nodded wearily, "yeah, not the first time I've had to do this for someone I consider to be a friend. I took lead on a case when a colleague from CID's daughter went missing after an open day visit to the station. Joanna was found safe and well on that occasion but her mother hadn't been involved in cracking open a national, if not international, paedophile ring."
"You need to approach this as DI Nixon, not as Sam, not as a mother or a friend. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, Guv, but for Lorna's sake and for the best chance of bringing Katie home, we need the formidable DI Nixon to be firing on all cylinders." Grace approached the silent older woman as the kettle clicked off, water bubbling furiously in its plastic confines. "If you don't think you can do that, we need to know it now so that DI Manson can take the lead and someone else can be assigned as FLO."
"I understand what you're saying Grace and I appreciate your candour but I agree with DCI Meadows that I am best served acting as FLO to Lorna and her sister. Anything I can find out, I will and as soon as I know it, I'll be in contact with Neil or Jack to update them. I want Katie home, alive and as unharmed as we can bring her back, I'm not about to jeopardise that in any way." Sam busied herself pouring water into the cups, her hand stilling as Grace placed manicured fingers over her wrist.
"In that case, I'll head back to the station and see if there's any news from the school or from the technicians. Someone will call you as soon as we have any news but if Lorna or Moira think of anything in the meantime, there'll be plenty of us at the station available to take your call. None of us will rest until Katie's found, please convey that to Lorna."
"Katie's phone wasn't switched off immediately, presumably DS Turner didn't want to undermine his ruse about why he had picked Katie up and demanding she turn her phone off would have seemed suspicious. We triangulated her last known co-ordinates and coupled with the CCTV footage we've already got of Turner's car, we know that they were heading into this industrial park. There are a large number of units out there which are currently unoccupied – some recently vacated, others have been standing empty for longer. The good news is that there are also still a significant number of legitimate business running out of there too so we have no reason to believe that a little additional traffic would be deemed unusual. Surveillance can be mounted without necessarily tipping off anyone connected to Katie's disappearance, so long as Turner isn't on lookout. He knows too many of the officers we have available – if he spots anyone he recognises, he's going to know we've tracked him there." Mickey rubbed a hand tiredly across his face as he finished speaking, the long hours he had worked already that day beginning to tell on him.
"What about the teacher, Matthew Sheldon? Any trace of him?" Jack asked, pondering on how to get around the fact that a police presence might be detected too soon for them to discover anything of any value regarding Katie's whereabouts.
"Sheldon headed in a completely different direction when he left the school, heading northwest. We tried phoning his home number and his mobile number, both provided by the school, but so far we've been unable to get hold of him. His landline just rings out, no answerphone, and his mobile is either out of range of a transmitter or is switched off," Terry informed the gathered troops from his position perched on the edge of one of the desks.
"Get some uniformed officers over to his address. We have to assume at this point that regardless of which direction he was travelling in when he left the school he is involved in Katie Hart's disappearance in some way. The timing of his exit from the school is too coincidental not to be related. Which means tracing Sheldon becomes a priority. I'll speak to Barton Street, see if we can't borrow some of their officers for the surveillance at the industrial park. If necessary, I'll speak to Commander Kennedy herself and organise some assistance from outside this nick," Jack barked, striding out of the office with purpose.
"Lucy, hi it's Sam," the blonde greeted Jo's young lover as she answered the landline after two short rings.
"Hello Sam," Lucy responded, her tone brusque and cool, holding none of her usual welcome.
"Is everything ok? You sound…different." Sam instantly worried that there was an incident at Jo's house, her mind torturing her with images of masked men holding the pair hostage.
"I'm fine. What can I do for you?" The blonde noted that there was no offer to speak to Jo, no friendly chit-chat being exchanged. In a sudden flash of understanding, Sam realised what the problem was and that it had nothing to do with Katie's disappearance or the case.
"Jo told you about earlier." It was a statement, not a question, just an acknowledgement that Sam knew Lucy was aware of how close she and the brunette's lover had come to getting lost in the moment. "I'm so sorry Lucy, I really am and I hope in time that you will understand that you can trust me around Jo, that it wasn't what either of us wanted or intended to happen. But right now, I'm calling about something else, something important and I hope that you will please listen to me." Something about Sam's tone, the gravity in her voice, made Lucy put aside her own pride and acknowledge to Sam that she was indeed listening. "I'm at Lorna's, Katie was abducted from her school this morning. I know you and she have become friends over the last few weeks so I need you to promise me that you'll contact me if you hear anything from her?"
"Shit, God, how's Lorna coping? Is she ok? Do you know who has Katie? Where she is? Of course, I'll let you know if I hear anything from her." Instantly, the frost was thawed between them as Lucy realised that this was bigger than some near-miss between two women close to one another.
"I can't really say a lot about the investigation but there are some leads being followed up. We just need to cover all our bases and make sure any communication from or about Katie is passed on to the people who need to know, as soon as possible," Sam replied regretfully, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on the cuff of her jacket hanging in Lorna's hall.
"I promise, if I hear anything, anything at all, I'll let you know straight away. I know it's a stretch that I will hear from her but thank you for letting me know what happened to Katie. I'll tell Jo when she's out of the bathroom, she went to take a bath." The mention of the brunette's name reignited some awkwardness between them as Lucy worried that Sam would be thinking of Jo lying naked in the bath while Sam felt renewed pangs of guilt about what they had almost allowed to happen earlier in the day.
"I'd better get back to Lorna and her sister. I'll speak to you soon."
"I'd better be getting home. Will you call me if you hear anything? It doesn't matter what time it is, I want to know as soon as you know anything." Moira rose from her seat beside Lorna as Sam stepped back into the lounge.
"Nonsense, you can stay here tonight. There's nothing you need to go home for is there? I'll be sleeping in Katie's room tonight, you can take my bed." Lorna flashed an apologetic glance at her lover realising that it would suggest she had no interest in Sam staying the night. She was partly relieved, partly scared by the casual understanding that met her in Sam's own gaze.
"Are you sure?" Moira asked, preferring the idea of remaining close to her sister but not wishing to impose herself upon the stoic woman if she would rather be alone.
"Of course, no point in us both being on our own in empty houses pacing the floors and worrying about each other as well as Katie." Turning fully towards Sam, Lorna invited her to stay too. "I can only offer you the sofa I'm afraid but I have spare duvet's and pillows, you're welcome to stay too if you wanted to."
"It's ok, I'll let you and Moira have some time together but my phone will be on and beside me all night if you hear anything or need anything, ok? Lorna, Jack's asked me to be your FLO – Family Liaison Officer," Sam explained the acronym when Moira frowned, "so I'll be your point of contact until Katie's… case is closed." Sam hesitated to say until the girl was found, not wishing to offer false promises.
"Can we talk about that before you go? I need to know… what that'll mean, what it'll entail… so I know what to expect. I'm not experienced of being at this end of an investigation," Lorna explained evasively, needing a few moments alone with Sam before the blonde woman disappeared into the night.
"I'm going to just run home and get some things for the morning," Moira mentioned, sensing that the two women needed a few moments alone to discuss this development. "Want me to pick anything up while I'm out? Shall I get some fish and chips or something?"
"I'm not hungry," Lorna responded automatically.
"Perhaps not but you still need to eat. I won't be long. I'll pick up enough food for three, you can stay a while longer can't you Sam?" Receiving a vague nod of acquiescence, the younger Scot gathered her coat and bag and headed out of the front door into the frigid night air.
As soon as the front door clicked shut, Lorna gravitated towards the short blonde still hovering uncertainly by the window. She reached for Sam, wanting to gather her in her arms and take some small comfort from having her near as well as offer her gratitude for the unwavering support she had shown. A frown marred her face as the detective evaded her embrace, hands held up in an invitation to cease her attempts. "Sam?"
"I can't… until the investigation is over… I've got to keep my distance… from you. Anything else would be a conflict of interest. I'm sorry Lorna, I'm truly, truly sorry but whilst I'm officially your FLO, we can't… be together." Sam's expression telegraphed her genuine regret, eyes reaching into Lorna's emerald gaze and imploring her to understand. The taller redhead wrapped her arms around herself as though to fend off a chill only she could feel.
"I see." There was ice dripping from her tone, steel in her eyes. "If you had second thoughts after last night Sam, you could just say so. Using my daughter's disappearance… hiding behind protocol is a little cowardly, don't you think? I'm a grown woman, if you don't want to sleep with me again, just tell me so but please do not patronise me with some bullshit story about conflict of interest. If I mean anything at all to you… if Katie, this relationship, us as a family mean anything to you, then you already have a huge conflict of interest and should have explained to DCI Meadows that you couldn't act as our FLO because you are part of the family you are supposed to be liaising with."
"Lorna don't, please… You need someone you can trust right now acting in your interests to pass information between yourselves and the officers investigating Katie's disappearance, I hoped that you would prefer that to be me than someone else…" Sam attempted to explain her motives for accepting the role but was cut off by a harsh bark of mirthless laughter.
"What I need right now is the woman I thought I was developing a relationship with to hold me in her arms and tell me that everything will be ok. Even though we both know there are no guarantees of it being that way, I need reassurance that I haven't lost my daughter for good. I don't need DI Nixon, I need you, the woman, Sam. If you can't do that for me, if you don't care about me enough to put your damn job aside, even if only for a few minutes, then I think you should leave and ask Jack to assign a new FLO."
"Lorna… I… I wish that I could… you have no idea how much I want to…"
"Just go." The painful defeat in Lorna's tone echoed off the walls of the living room, ricocheting into Sam's heart like daggers from all sides. Her feet were frozen in place, refusing to obey her mental commands – not that they would have known which way to go as the internal battle raged within her; half of her screaming to do as Lorna asked while the other half pleaded with her to take the Scot into her arms and hold her close. "I said GET OUT!" The hysterical command broke through Sam's resolve.
"No," she replied firmly, taking confident steps towards where her lover had retreated.
"Leave… go do your damn job and leave me alone." The words were spat out harshly but Lorna's voice betrayed her distress, cracking at the end of her request. She turned away from the advancing blonde, still hugging herself as she stared into the fire.
"I can't," Sam confessed, realising that the battle had been lost before it had even begun. Witnessing Lorna's distress, seeing her tearing herself apart this way, there was no way that Sam could remain professional, detached. She realised how misguided she had been in thinking she could step back from her feelings. The woman she was growing to love deeply was hurting which in turn caused a deep burning ache in her own heart. She could no sooner walk away than she could stop breathing. Being there for Lorna, being with her in her hour of need, was as much a physical necessity for her now as the oxygen which was drawn in with every breath. She understood in that moment, with startling clarity, that there was no other place in the world that she could be. To walk away now would mean the end of the relationship between herself and Lorna and along with that end, a piece of Sam's soul would also die. Deciding to risk the physical and emotional rejection she feared would come, Sam wound her arms around Lorna's waist, hugging her from behind and resting her forehead between the taller woman's shoulder blades.
"Don't, please don't, not unless you intend to stay…" Lorna whispered brokenly, her body vibrating with the coiled tension of her grief.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll call Jack, ask him to assign another FLO, I'll see if he can get Grace to do it. You're right, I should be here with you. I'm sorry sweetheart I just got so caught up in wanting to be the one to bring Katie back to you that I lost track of what that would mean me doing to you. I was stupid to think that I could separate the case from my feelings for you," Sam intoned into Lorna's narrow back, feeling the sobs which wracked her body moments before the sounds of her cries escaped into the quiet room. She turned the pliant Scot in her arms, pulling her in as close as she could and murmuring all manner of reassurances, regardless of the fact she had none to offer for certain. It mattered little, all Lorna was aware of was the comfort of the embrace and the knowledge that she wouldn't be facing the horrors of her daughter's disappearance entirely alone.