Before 1521
"Let me hold him again," Zapotec extended her hands towards her sister. Aztec was holding her baby boy, who had been born a few weeks ago. He was still very small, and very vocal. He tended to cry and laugh loudly, even for a child of his age. He always cried the loudest when he was away from his mother and wanted back to her.
Toltec said that it was a good sign, that he had strong lungs. She said that he was strong baby, despite being born after eight months instead of nine. He did look healthy, and pudgy as a baby should be. He already had a head of thick dark hair, and long eyelashes for a baby.
He was sleeping lightly in his mother's arms, and Zapotec wanted so badly to hold him again. The first time she had held him had been so special, and so sweet. He looked so peaceful.
Aztec looked up at her, and said, "He will wake up. Let him sleep." Then, seemingly on habit, she turned to Toltec and asked, "That would be better, right?"
Their older sister was sitting with them in the gardens. They were all sitting outside in the warm afternoon among the blooming gardens outside the palace. Toltec was the eldest, and had also trained as a midwife, so Aztec had been asking her many questions about the baby. She was anxious new mother, and Toltec knew best.
Zapotec found it a little amusing to see their sister, who was always the self assured warrior in battle, being so quick to ask for someone else's advice. Toltec said, patient as ever, "He won't notice. He sleeps soundly."
Aztec nodded, then said softly to the baby, "Your aunt is going to hold you now."
He didn't react except to turn his head ever so slightly as he stirred in his sleep. He did seem to be incredibly soundly asleep. The squalling must have been tiring.
Zapotec reached out and took him from her sister's arms, making sure to put her hand behind his head. Then she pulled him firmly into her arms.
He was so small and light, but holding him made her feel like her heart was glowing. He felt like a little gift that she had been trusted with. Zapotec said, speaking to him, "Hello, little one."
She stroked his downy black hair, which made him coo softly along to whatever he was dreaming. She felt herself melting at the sight of his tiny sleeping face. A smile spread across her face. She took his little hand between her finger, and he curled his fingers around hers and gave them the littlest squeeze.
It was so precious that Zapotec knew she must be smiling happily at the baby. Toltec said, "Oh, don't make that face. You cannot have one of your own; one baby is enough for now."
Zapotec was sure that her older sister had seen her smiling. She responded, "He's just so cute. I think I want a baby of my own one day."
She saw her sister raise an eyebrow in warning and she quickly added, "Not right now. I just think I like babies."
Aztec chuckled, and said, "Maybe I should let you wake up with him in the middle of the night. Then tell me how much you like babies." Zapotec knew that babies had the tendency to cry in the middle of the night, and she could see that her sister looked quite tired. Surely Aztec had her hands full with a newborn baby, and he did seem like he slept more during the day than he did during the night.
She replied, "I know that it is hard work. But look at how cute he is; he's worth all the work."
Little Mexica started stirring in response to the conversation and sleepily opened his eyes. Zapotec spoke to him in a soft voice, "You don't know it yet, but you are going to be the most loved little prince to ever exist."
He smiled a toothless smile at her. Zapotec looked back up at her sisters, and said, reassuringly "You don't have to worry about anything. I want to have a husband before I have a baby." Then she looked at Toltec and asked, "Am I going to have a husband?"
That earned her a reproachful shake of the head, as she knew it would. Toltec responded, "You know that I am not allowed to use my gifts for something that trivial. The gods did not let me see the future so that I could tell you who you are going to marry."
Baby Mexica seemed to be realizing that he was awake, and he started squirming. Aztec noticed immediately and said, "Give him back to me before he starts crying. He'll want me."
Zapotec nodded, and handed the squirming baby back to his mother. The moment Aztec cradled him against her chest again, he stopped moving and looked lovingly up at her. He clearly knew who his mother was and loved her dearly.
Aztec chuckled and said to Toltec, "I remember you telling me that I was going to marry an old man and have babies. You weren't wrong."
Toltec gave her the kind of glare that only a disapproving older sister could manage and said, "I was ten years old and you were pulling my hair. And your husband isn't an old man, he's just older than you."
She paused for a moment and then added, "And mother punished both of us for that incident."
Zapotec listened to them talk and tried to remember when this had happened. They had all had their arguments, like sisters were prone to from time to time. She didn't remember this argument specifically, but she was sure that their mother's punishment had been harsh. Teotihuacan had high standards for each one of them, and had never tolerated bickering and misbehavior.
Aztec's smile fell a little as she looked down at her baby. For a moment, Zapotec was concerned that something had upset her. Her pregnancy had made her emotions more volatile.
Aztec said, "I wish mother was here. I wish that she knew that she has a grandson with her eyes."
She stroked Mexica's little cheek and said to him, "She would have loved you, my little jaguar cub."
Toltec was looking at her understandingly. She said, comforting her little sister, "She does know. The dead aren't gone. They are still watching over us, and I know she is proud of us."
Zapotec stopped telling the story as she spoke the words. It was a pleasant memory, but the words struck an uncomfortable chord. Mexico reached out and took her hand, and said, softly, "Tia, is everything alright?"
Zapotec looked at him and saw the concern in his eyes. She didn't mean to make him worry. The past had just proved more difficult to discuss than she had anticipated.
She said, "I'm alright. I was just thinking about how much I miss my sisters." Mexico nodded and replied, "I miss my mother too."
Zapotec felt like she may have brought up more painful memories than she had intended, since the point had been to tell Mexico about his family. She found it deeply tragic that he remembered so much about Spain and so little about his life before that.
She smiled at him and took his hand firmly in her own. She said, "But, I'm not alone. I have you. I'll tell you more stories later."
—
Before the Conquest
Aztec held her son tightly in her arms as he squirmed slightly, like he was impatient at being held so long. She smiled to herself, her little boy had such incredible energy, which would serve him well when he was older. He would be such a strong warrior, she was certain. He let out an impatient, "Mama."
Aztec said, "Be patient, my precious jewel. We'll see your dad soon."
She stepped into the room, still keeping her eyes on her child. The Mayan empire was already seated, and putting away his work from the day. He looked up when he heard Mexica call out, "Dada!" Aztec walked a little more quickly to reach her husband. She said, "He's been looking forward to seeing you. Haven't you, my sweet son?"
He giggled and reached out towards his father, who let the tiny hand touch his cheek. He reached out towards his wife, inviting her to hand the child over to him. She placed her son carefully in his father's arms, and he squealed happily as he put his hands more resolutely on both of his father's cheeks.
Maya smiled and said, "You're getting so strong, little one."
Aztec sat across from her husband and looked at the two of them. They looked so sweet together and it was impossible not to feel like this was comfortable and that this was home.
Mexica seemed to get restless in his father's arms after a few minutes. He was an energetic child and could never sit still long.
Maya, understanding his son's wants, placed the boy carefully on the floor. He expected his son to start crawling, but Mexica pushed himself up from the ground, and stood unsteadily on his feet. He swayed from a second, but found his balance again.
Experimentally he took a wobbly step forward. Aztec felt her heart leap at the sight. She held out her arms to him and said encouragingly, "You can do it! Come to me."
He took another step and her smile widened. There was concentration written all over Mexica's little face, but he was continuing to take steps. There was little space between his parents, but it seemed to take enormous effort. Aztec continued to encourage her son. She wanted him to fight through, persistence would be important for him to have the rest of his life.
He managed to traverse the space, but looked completely exhausted. One step away from his mother, he swayed, and she could tell that he was too tired. As he gave into gravity, and she caught him easily. Holding him close to her again, she said, "You did well my little jaguar cub."
He said, his energy returned, "Mama."
There was an insistent whine in his voice, accompanied by his hands pawing insistently at the cloth covering his mother's breast. She understood, "Oh you're hungry." With a series of movements that were well practiced, she removed the cloth so that her son could cuddle against her breast and started sucking.
When Aztec looked away from her son and back at her husband, she noticed that he had tears in his eyes. Before she could ask why, he said, "The gods have blessed us." She held her son tightly and said only, "Yes, they have."
—-
1822
Mexico put aside his work for the night. He had never realized how much paperwork went into running an empire. Now that he was newly independent, all the work that had been handled by Spain and Texas had landed on his desk.
He could have insisted that Texas continue doing the work, but it felt irresponsible to put it on someone else now that he was independent. This was part of the reality of being an empire in his own right and he had to do it.
But it was getting late and the figures for expenses and incomes were starting to swim on the paper. With a sigh, he pushed it aside and stood up.
Sleep was never a pleasant prospect for Mexico because it usually came with nightmare that brought back the worst of his memories. But, he couldn't avoid it forever and the prospect of being sleep deprived in battle was enough to force him to bed.
He stripped off most of his clothing and climbed into bed. For a moment it was nice to just appreciate laying down and feeling every muscle in his body thanking him for finally resting.
He heard an excited yip as one of his many dogs ran into the room and bounded into his bed. He sighed again and said, "If you insist." and pet the soft fur on the dog's head as she curled up right next to his chest. With his hand still on her head, he fell asleep.
The dream felt pleasant, and he could feel that he was laying on a soft surface. His eyes were still closed, as if he had fallen asleep here instead of his own bed. A calloused hand brushed back his hair from his face.
Though the position was comfortable, he was also curious about who was so lovingly stroking his hair. He slowly opened his eyes. He was looking up at a face that was so like his own that it was like looking in a mirror. He instantly recognized the person and said, "Mama!"
Aztec smiled down at him and replied, "Yes, my jaguar cub?" Mexico felt a stinging in the corners of his eyes as he felt tears welling up. He hadn't seen her in so long and he couldn't find the words that he wanted to say first.
He could tell that he was laying with his head in her lap and the tender touches had been her. He knew it was a dream, but it the moment it felt so real. His mother was here and she felt as solid and warm as any other person. And every detail of her appearance was as he remembered, from her golden eyes to the tattoos up her arms. He remembered when he had been younger asking her about all of her tattoos and listening intently to the stories of the battles when she had earned them.
He finally settled on saying, "I missed you."
He could hear his voice shaking as he said it. Aztec put her hand on his cheek and said, "I have missed you too. But I am glad you are here with me." Mexico felt the urge to cry start to subside, replaced with a warmer contented feeling.
But he was curious as to what world his mind had created. He pulled his eyes away from his mother's face and looked around. He couldn't place where the room was, but he knew it was somewhere he had spent a lot of his time as a child. Outside the sun was low in the sky, like the day was ending.
Mexico glanced down at his own body and realized that he was wearing his entire imperial regalia.
The feeling struck him that he should take this opportunity to say everything he wanted to say, even if it was just a dream. He took a deep breath and sat up.
Aztec looked confused and a bit hurt that he had pulled away from her. Mexico said, trying to keep himself from crying again, "I am sorry that I was not what you expected."
He didn't want to meet her eyes as he said it. He didn't want her to confirm that he was a disapointment. But he felt her hand under his chin and brought his face back up to look him in the eyes. Her eyes were terrifyingly sharp and she said in a voice that wasn't undeniably commanding, "Don't ever say that again."
His voice vanished under her gaze. He understood how she so easily commanded armies. But, her eyes softened as she said, "I could not be prouder of you. You fought for what was yours by right."
He said, trying to explain everything he was feeling, "But, Mama, I-"
She cut him off sharply, "What did I say? You are not allowed to doubt yourself."
He glanced away and realized that the sun was lowering toward the horizon. She continued, "I knew you would be a warrior, and you have become so strong. I just wish I had been there to see you grow up and to give you guidance."
Mexico felt the unbidden tears coming back. He had wanted to hear those word for so long, and they made all of his carefully constructed walls crumble. She saw the look in his eyes and pulled him into a hug.
He let himself smile, and be comforted by her embrace. He said, still holding onto her tightly, "I don't want to lose you again."
He felt childish for being so emotional, but he felt safe being honest about his feelings in front of her. And he reminded himself that this was all his own dream, so there was no danger to this vulnerability. She responded, "I'm always watching you, my dear son."
Mexico buried his face in her dark hair and felt her pull her cloak up over his shoulders protectively. He said, "I love you so much, Mama."
She replied in his ear, "I love you more than anything."
As the sun finally sank below the horizon, he closed his eyes and felt more whole than he had since the conquest.
Mexico opened his eyes to see that all of his dogs had managed to crowd in around him on his bed. They were all still sound asleep. He slowly got up, being careful not to disturb any of them.
He walked to the window to see what time of night it was, usually it was pitch black when he woke from him nightmares. But when he pulled back the curtain, the light of the late morning streamed in through the window.
It was a strange feeling to know that he had slept all the way through the night for the first time he could remember since he was a child. It was equally as strange that he had finally dreamed something pleasant without it turning into one of his nightmares.
He felt an incredible energy and enthusiasm at the prospect of facing the day. He felt like her arms were still around him, protecting him. He put his hand on the medallion next to his heart. Even if it was just a dream, he felt the warmth from it lingering.
—
Modern
Aztec took careful steps across the room. Most of the house was dark, but she knew the way. There had been a time that this place had been strange to her. It was not part of the city she had built, even if it stood on the same land. But, it had become familiar over the years as she visited.
Mexico had never failed to leave an ofrenda that could pull her back to the living world. He was a dutiful son, and Spain's strict prohibition had stopped him from doing it.
The steps were well practiced by this point. They led from the altar to her son's bedroom. She knew the geography well enough to find her way in the dark.
She could visit him earlier in the night, but it felt more private to see him now that he was alone. There were also others who visited him earlier in the night, and Aztec would rather be alone with him. She had no desire to intrude on the time when his handsome general or his former emperor visited him.
He had more than one grave to visit. It was a long night for him, and she would rather be there at the only priority for the night was to be with him; there was no one else in the world that she would come back to see.
One of his dogs was sitting at the entrance of his bedroom. As Aztec got closer, the dog perked up his ears and looked at her. The animals seemed to be able to see spirits more easily than humans, and the bond these dogs had with Mexico made them very attuned to her.
The dog who had seen her started to wag his tail enthusiastically. After all these years, he knew her. She kneeled long enough to give him a pat on the head.
They were little animals, but they were Mexico's guardians regardless. She could tell from the way they reacted to her presence that they cared deeply for her son and would protect him.
They had been cautious about her at first, and that felt like a good thing. Her son needed whatever protection they could provide. Eventually the dogs had understood that she was here for good.
She gave the dog one more pat and then stood again.
The dog continued to wag his tail until a voice called to him, "Tlahuicole, come here."
Aztec stepped into the room as the little dog ran inside.
Mexico was sitting on his bed, busying himself with pulling off his shoes. There were piece of a costume folded neatly on one of the tables.
Mexico clearly took care with his possessions. His house had a sense of order to it that Aztec wanted to believe that he learned from her, even though their years together had been so brief.
Mexico was readying himself for bed. He had already changed and washed his face, though there were still traces of white paint right at his hair line.
Seeing him made Aztec smile, as it always did. The sight of him strong and healthy always reassured her year to year.
Mexico picked up his dog and said, "What were you doing, little one? Were you talking to spirits?"
Aztec felt a twinge of sadness at that. She sat next to him, and wished that he could see her.
If she had been able to raise him, he would have been taught how to see the future and how to see spirits. Toltec had said that he had the gift, and she had never been wrong. But, without anyone to teach him, he would never be able to use it the way he should.
She felt like it was her fault that he had never learned. It had seemed like there was time when there was really so little. He had been too young to learn before Spain destroyed everything.
But, she could have some contact with him. Toltec had said that with his gifts would still allow him to feel touch, even if he could not see.
Aztec reached over and touched his face, caressing him softly. He had grown up to be such a handsome man. She could see her own features in his face, and very little of his father. It made some sense to her; he had always been more her son than his father's.
Mexico turned towards the touch and ran his finger over the spot after hers had left it. It seemed like he could still feel it.
The way that a warm smile appeared on her face made it feel like he knew she was there. It was impossible to say what he knew, but she wanted to believe that he knew her touch. He was her baby, and her touch was the first he had ever felt in the world. If that could not be familiar, then nothing could.
He turned his head and seemed for a moment to look at her. She knew he could not see her, but there was a moment of hope before he looked away. Aztec touched his face again and said, "You must be tired, my cub."
This was another reason she always came late in the night. Once he was asleep, it was easier to reach him. His dreams had always been one of the few places where she could actually speak to him.
As if in response, Mexico yawned and turned his head to look longingly at his pillow. He yawned again and seemed to decide that he would like nothing better than sleep.
He finished pulling off his shoes and laid his head on the pillow. The dog took it as an opportunity to curl up right next to him.
Aztec was waiting patiently for the moment to talk to him. It was the only day of the year when she could.
His eyes closed, and he fidgeted a little to find a comfortable position. It was the same way he had settled into bed as when he was a child.
Aztec touched his hair again, and the touch seemed enough to lull him to sleep. As she did every year, she laid down next to him and closed her eyes and passed into the dream with him.
The place she arrived in was a creation of Mexico's mind, and Aztec had little control of it. But, it was familiar.
They were the gardens in Tenochitlan, and it was always striking to her that they were so accurate, though he must have very few memories of it. Though the place was jewel bright and perfect in the way that only a child's memories could be.
She turned her head to see Mexico standing beside her, tall and handsome as ever. He looked better in recent years than he had in the past, and she took solace in that. It was difficult not to worry about him when she could only talk to him once per year.
He smiled and said, "Mama."
He always seemed slightly surprised by her presence, but she would never miss this day. He was her greatest pride, and she would visit him every day if she could.
She pulled him into a hug and said, "I have missed you, my jaguar cub."
He returned her hug and held her close. It felt good to have him in her arms, and she never wanted to let him go. But, they had limited time and she wanted to speak to him. Mexico said, "I missed you too. I have so much that I want to tell you."
That made her smile, since she felt like he valued her insight and approval. Especially in recent years, he seemed to ask for her advice regularly. And she was never going to deny him, especially when he seemed to want advice so sincerely.
He slowly released her from the hug. She felt a little sadness every time he let go of her, even if it would be easy to hug him again. But, it had been the same ever since he was born. It felt like he was meant to be in her arms, and having him gone left a kind of ache.
He extended his arm to his mother in the yearly routine. She knew that he wanted to walk in these gardens and talk about his life. She took his arm and let him start leading.
It was such an inviting place that he created, like a warmer version of his childhood home. She had always been a bit curious to see what else existed in this world, but there was never the time.
Time ran faster here than it did in the waking world. Once the sun set on this world, Mexico would wake up. So, it was best to make use of the time.
She said, "What is on your mind?"
He took a deep breath and said, looking at her as he did, "I am giving aid to my brothers." He paused for a moment and then clarified, "Dad's sons. And I wanted to know what you thought of it."
Aztec could think of many things that she wanted to say immediately. But, she took a moment of pause. Maya's other sons had been a point of contention, and she had never reconciled herself to the idea of them being in Mexico's life.
When they were born, she had rightly told Maya that they would be threats to her legitimate son. But, he had cherished the idea of his sons becoming friendly and supportive.
In the years since, they had proven to be just as traitorous she initially feared. They had never been loyal to their older brother, and it had been difficult to see Mexico weather those betrayals.
She said, "It is what your father would want. He always said you should all help each other." She added to herself that it had always been an absurd idea. They had not been born to be close. Being brothers made them destined to be rivals.
Mexico responded, "I know it is, but I want to know what you think."
The response made her smile; it was a reminder of just how clever he was. He was not asking for her to be kind to his father. Aztec stopped and pulled him to face her. Their eyes met and she was sure that she had his full attention.
Then she said, "My dear son, you have a good honorable spirit." She had seen him show his kindness over and over again, and it was such a source of pride. He was kinder than she had ever been able to be, and far more forgiving. In some ways, it was to his credit.
She continued, "But, you need to be careful. Your forgiveness should be earned, not just given. I don't think that you should forgive those who have not proved that they deserve it."
She put her hand on his shoulder and said, "I do not want you to be hurt by them again."
He looked like he was listening carefully and waiting for her to finish talking. He nodded and said, "I understand. I am not forgiving them yet."
There was something jaded in his voice that she wished she could erase. It was a mother's instinct to want to shield him from pain, even if she knew that the world would never be painless. It hurt her heart to see him hurt.
But, if he would more cautious, then that was at least a good lesson. He needed caution with the frauds and traitors who seemed to surround him.
But there had to be more to his life than just the political squabbles with his brothers. She asked, hoping to coax something lighter out of him, "I want to know if you are happy. Are you?"
He looked like he was thinking hard about what he was going to say. It almost seemed like he was nervous. He was biting his lower lip as he thought. Finally, he said, "I think that I might be in love."
She reached up and brushed a piece of hair out of his face and said, "Is it a good one this time?"
He knew that some of his past liaisons had been the worst kind of men, and she had voiced her disapproval loudly each time they spoke. She made sure that he knew that she never approved the men who used him, especially not the blonde one he had been infatuated with for so long.
If she could have chosen him a partner, it would have been someone good and noble who could give him strength. He needed a source of stability and comfort, not another man to destabilize him.
She really hoped that he had found someone to treat him the way he deserved. Mexico said, with complete earnestness in his eyes, "He is very good. He's been there for me for so long."
There was a blush in his cheeks that made her realize how honest he was being with his feelings. Aztec felt like she knew who he was talking about.
She had appreciated his closest friend since the day they met. Cuba was strong and so obviously devoted to her son. She could ask for nothing more.
She said, "I know about him, and I think that he is good for you. He would keep you safe."
Mexico smiled, and it was clear that he had wanted her approval. The look of relief on his face was so clear. He had been worried that she would chastise him. But, it seemed that he was making a good decision.
He took both of her hands in his own and said, "I wish you could meet him. You would love him."
She said, keeping her eyes on him so he could see her sincerity, "If he is good to you, then I trust him."
The light began to darken. Mexico glanced over his shoulder at the sky and saw that the sun was already starting to said. He said, more than to himself than to her, "No, it can't be over already."
Aztec put her hands on either side of his face and gently turned it back towards herself. She ran her thumb comfortingly over his cheek and said, "Don't worry, my cub. I will be back next year. You know I never miss it."
Mexico nodded slightly and then said, "I know, Mama. But, I wish we had more time with you."
She smiled reassuringly, "I am here with you even when you can't see me."
She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. The sun was setting behind him, and she knew she needed to tell him one more thing before the night ended. She said, making sure to say everything he needed to hear, "I love you, and I'm proud of you. Happy birthday."