With Duncan H the next day; he was back at Burger King doing some work.
He saw his boss going to one of the registers and hid behind the cooking area.
The man opened the register and took some money out of the register before looking around and pocketed the money.
The teen became shocked.
Interview Gag
Duncan was steaming mad.
"THAT NO GOOD JACKASS!" He shouted.
End Interview Gag
"Unbelievable, he steals more then toilet paper from his own job." said Duncan H.
He heard a banging sound and ran to the drive thru part to see his boss had opened his truck door on another car, leaving a huge dent on it.
The man looked around and pulled out a piece of paper and wrote on it before sticking it on the windshield wiper of the other car and got in his truck before driving off.
Duncan H approached the dented car and removed the note and looked at it.
"I hit your god awful car, good luck trying to find me asshole." Duncan H read.
Duncan H became mad.
Interview Gag
"Unbelievable, he's very crooked." said Duncan H.
End Interview Gag
Duncan H exited the Burger King and got in his car before driving off.
He grumbled.
"Now where is that guy going?" said Duncan H.
He saw the truck and started following it.
The truck stopped at an apartment building and Duncan H stopped his car at the building as well before his boss entered the building.
Later; Duncan H was in the building and looked around before seeing his boss making out with a smoking hot African American woman non stop.
The teen became shocked before pulling out his phone and took a picture of it and running off.
He ran back to his car and got in it before driving off.
Later; he was back in Burger King giving a woman a tray of food as she walked off.
He then saw his boss coming back into the building.
"How's it going Harris?" said the boss.
Duncan H glared at his boss.
"Going good." said Duncan H.
"Why don't you and me hang out tonight, boss and new employee? Get to know one another." said Pat Kennedy.
Duncan H did some thinking.
Later at night; the two were in Mr Kennedy's truck going down a road.
"I gotta tell you, it feels great hanging out with you." said Pat.
"I'm sure it is." said Duncan H.
"Gives us a moment to really connect with each other. Get to know the real us." said Pat.
"Like I don't already know enough." said Duncan H.
The group kept on driving off as Duncan H turned around and became confused.
"Hang on, I think you just passed the restaurant." said Duncan H.
"Nah, it's alright." said Pat.
He turned to the other side of the truck and stopped it.
"Hold on, hold on." Pat said before chuckling while rolling down his window, "There he is."
He poked his head out the window and became mad.
"BREAK YOURSELF FOOL!" yelled Pat.
A bunch of African American men who were hanging outside a nightclub became shocked.
"AW SHIT, IT'S PAT KENNEDY SON!" yelled one of the men.
Then Pat pulled out a machine gun and started firing it at the one man as the others ran off, killing the man.
Pat laughed.
"RIVERSIDE MOTHER FUCKER!" yelled Pat.
He drove off as Duncan H became shocked.
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?!" yelled Duncan H.
"Harris relax." said Pat.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN RELAX, YOU JUST COMMITTED A FUCKING HATE CRIME!" yelled Duncan H.
"This is normal for me." said Pat.
Duncan H was shocked.
Back at the mansion; Sonic, Roger, and Mia were in the living room playing Monopoly.
"Feeling lucky now." Roger said as he was beginning to role the dice.
But then the front door opened, revealing Duncan H was still shocked and that it was raining before thunder and lightning rang out.
Roger groaned and tossed the dice before they each stopped on one.
The meerkat groaned in annoyance.
"Damn snake eyes." said Roger.
The others turned to Duncan H.
"Worse then yesterday?" said Sonic.
"Worse then yesterday." said Duncan H.
"How so?" Asked Roger who just noticed Duncan H
"Turns out my boss really is a terrible person in real life." said Duncan H.
Roger scoffed.
"As if." said Roger.
"How terrible is he?" said Mia.
"He killed an African American in a drive by shooting that I was unwillingly a part of." said Duncan H.
Everyone gasped.
"You're kidding." said Mia.
"No way, it was like that flashback Roger assumed happened with him and me." said Duncan H.
"Huh, six of one." said Roger.
Sonic gulped.
"I'm guessing that was the worst thing he's ever done before?" said Sonic.
"After finding out he also stole money from the job, dents someone else's car, leaves mean notes about it, and has a mistress, yeah, committing a hate crime is the worst thing he's done." said Duncan H.
"He should be kicked into the sun." said Roger.
Sonic became shocked.
"What, that's a terrible idea. It's to cruel." said Sonic.
"Sonic, you sent a lizard to Apokolips where he got fried by a deranged warlord." said Mia.
"Good point." said Sonic.
"I don't know what I'm going to do about this. Should I quit, or call him out for his behavior?" said Duncan H.
Sonic approached the teen.
"I'll tell you what you should do." said Sonic.
"What?" said Duncan H.
"You're going to have to punch your boss in the face really really hard." said Sonic.
Duncan H became shocked.
"What, why would I want to do that?" said Duncan H.
"Because if you do that, he'll end up in the hospital, be visited by his wife and mistress who'll discover how unfaithful he's been to them both, he'll be dump and kicked out of his home, the wife'll discover his secret stash of money, causing him to go to prison where he becomes some guys bitch and has to go down on his cellmate every night." said Sonic.
"Where'd you come up with that scenario from?" said Mia.
Later; the group minus Roger was watching My Name is Earl in shock.
"Wait, you got that scenario from this episode of a TV show about a bad man trying to turn his life around?" said Duncan H.
"This whole fanfic is based off of that episode, I'm surprised none of you figured it out yet. But I don't blame the co author for not knowing about it if he doesn't know about it." said Sonic.
"I'm not punching my boss in the face." said Duncan H.
Sonic shook his head.
"It'll happen either way. You'll reach your breaking point and just let loose." said Sonic.
Duncan H sighed.
"I don't know if I should do that." said Duncan H.
"You shouldn't." said Mia, "It ain't going to end up like that My Name is Earl episode we just sat through."
Everyone nodded.
"I'm only saying that could happen, but it might not. Just like how idiotic it is when lightning strikes every time someone says Shazam." said Sonic.
Then thunder was heard followed by lightning, shocking him.
"That was a coincidence." said Sonic.
Interview Gag
"No really it was." said Sonic, "Can't really happen in real life."
End Interview Gag
"Shazam." said Duncan H.
Lightning struck him and he is in a new form.
Everyone saw the teen now looked like a baby and he was crying non stop.
Sonic laughed.
"Burn." said Sonic.
"Shazam." said baby Duncan H.
He was struck by lightning and turned back to normal.
He groaned.
"Never again." said Duncan H.
Sonic became confused.
"Never again what?" said Sonic.
Duncan H pulled out his phone and typed something down before flipping it over to Sonic to show he typed down 'Never saying 'Shazam' again'.
"That's like saying no one will ever watch another Adam Sandler film again, but they still do. And I liked that Little Nicky film, especially the Scarface scene." said Sonic.
"What the hell is a Scarface?" said Mia.
Sonic turned to Mia.
"Only one of the most popular gangster movies of all time with Al Pacino." said Sonic.
He pulled out two phones and held them to the side.
"Here's the well known Scarface scene I was talking about from the original." said Sonic.
He pushed the play icon on the phone on his left hand and it played before pausing it.
"And from that Adam Sandler film." said Sonic.
He pushed the play icon from the other phone and it played before pausing it as well.
"Which was better?" said Sonic.
"Honestly I think they are both good." She said.
"The original was good in it's way, but the Adam Sandler one was funny since he was simply superimposed into the film complete with his voice saying the famous phrase." said Duncan H.
He looked around and became confused.
"Wait, where's Roger?" said Duncan H.
"He left before we even started watching that episode of My Name is Earl. I'm surprised you didn't notice it." said Sonic.
Duncan H groaned.
Interview Gag
"Why?" said Duncan H.
End Interview Gag
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to binge watch some Close Enough." said Sonic, "Again."
With that; Sonic left.
He became shocked.
"Wait a minute, we were already in the living room with the TV that has HBO Max on it." said Sonic.