"You…! What have you done?!"
"I've killed them all… and next, it will be you!"
Vanessa groaned, lifting up the remote to just shut off the sad, cliche drama.
She honestly regretted giving up busting her dad at that moment. At the very least, the crushing frustration of complete and utter failure would be much more interesting than the crushing boredom she was experiencing.
Despite all the coursework she had done, all the last-minute essay scrambling, despair, and desperate prayers for a break she had experienced in her third year of college, the moment she got her break, she was reduced to being sprawled over her mom's couch, flipping through channels, bored out of her mind.
Vanessa sighed. She wasn't willing to get up just yet, but her phone was still charging an entire two steps away, so that wasn't an option. So, the brunette sat up enough to grab her laptop from the coffee table. It was ostenisbly there for her to do some online forms for her internship, but… nah.
Going through the same few tabs in hopes of finding something interesting sounded much better than work, was what she thought, incorrectly.
The thing about Danville was that every single piece of news was the same level of absurd. Which meant that 'rain of fish sent by swarm of whales hits Danville hard' and 'young geniuses make infinite tic-tac-toe ball; practical use unclear' were relatively mundane for Vanessa. Her social media wasn't much better.
It was complete and utter desperation that made her log into her eight year old account on the Tri-state Area's unofficial forum site, Danville edition.
(Vanessa did not really want to think about the implications of Danville being listed among the forum's other cryptozoology threads.)
That was when a certain topic caught her eye.
'Help: My [16M] brother [16M] has a crush on this girl [16F] and she likes him back but neither of them will admit it' posted by flyfletchboy1
She stared at the username for a few seconds, before the answer smacked into her skull.
Another sigh left her lips, a mix of amusement and exasperation this time. Sure, it was one hundred percent lazy and uncreative to just shorten one's last name into a username like that… but, that obviousness meant she had a pretty good idea of who the poster was.
And she knew that, wherever that family went, crazy antics followed.
'This is gonna be good,' she thought as she clicked on the topic.
flyfletchboy1: My brother and I have been friends with the girl across the street since we were little kids. She always hung out with us in our backyard, but a while ago, I think he got a crush on her. He's always trying to tell me how great she is and how any guy would be lucky to date her. She obviously has a crush on him back. As in: as obvious as the ground beneath your feet.
Despite that… they. Just. Won't. Date. Each other.
Help. I'm about to tear my hair out because of them.
duckymomoismyfriend: have you tried screaming
flyfletchboy1: What? Why would I do that?
punkprincess: need more details on the situation.
flyfletchboy1: I have a three hour long presentation on why they like each other.
punkprincess: oh my god
flyfletchboy1: With song and dance.
punkprincess: oh my godddddddddd
flyfletchboy1: The only reason I can't post is, well, privacy. You know how it is.
It was at this point that Vanessa began wondering if she was really getting entertained by the love lives of people six years younger than her, only for her eyes to drift to the new set of messages at the bottom of the thread.
Ace-stace: Have you considered talking it out? Or like, trying to set them up?
flyfletchboy1: What would setting them up entail?
Ace-stace: Oh you know. Getting them together at a date spot like, i dunno, the mall or arcade or something, finding an excuse to step out so it's just the two of them. Saying they would be a good couple. Normal stuff.
Vanessa laughed to herself at the idea, her laughter only increasing when she saw the response.
flyfletchboy1: STARTED BUILDING A MEGA ARCADE TO TRAP THEM IN UNTIL THEY ADMIT THEY LIKE EACH OTHER
Ace-stace: what no
punkprincess: you must not be from around here. normal just isn't a thing that exists in danville.