CHAPTER FOUR
FORGIVNESS OR MISERY
It took Lucy nearly a week and two days to successfully hike the trail from Magnolia to Carbume, something her and her former team were able to accomplish within one full night. It was her own paranoia that prevented her from traveling by train so she had no one to blame but herself, especially when her walking speed drastically slowed. Her spirits had been forcing her to rest nearly every hour as well, causing their eta to expand.
Although she was slightly annoyed with their smothering, she couldn't blame any of her spirits for being worried about her. Her skin was practically sizzling under the sun's heat and her cloak wasn't doing much to save her with the fabric brushing against her stinging body. Each step was agonizing, and eventually she relented her stubornous and allowed her spirits to help her along without putting up a fight. Loke and her had been bickering about her health since the second day, something she wasn't too proud of.
She was aware since the moment she left her apartment that he would be hounding on her to see a doctor. Although she made him a promise, that promise was over a week old by now and he was getting antsy by her lack of improvements. Her skin condition was only worsening, and her magic energy, which normally regenerates within a days time, remained depleted for the most part. During rest times, Aries had summoned herself to teach Lucy some meditation skills in hopes it would help her chanel herself into the atmosphere and absorb some magic energy manually.
They'd been meditating every few hours, and while it wasn't helping her magic predicament, it was calming her irritation she had been taking out on Loke. She found herself calming easier even with the immense pain she felt each day. She began looking forward to Aries visits and could foresee herself taking up the hobby on her own in the future. She had even dragged Loke in to join them, considering he refused to leave her side during the majority of the trip.
Arriving in Carbum was a breath of fresh air for Lucy. She had finally made it to her destination, late or not, she was there. The residents eyed her warily which she could understand considering she was covered head to toe in clothing, but that didn't stop her from approaching the townsmen with Loke by her side to search for a medic.
Most of the shop owners kicked her out without a second thought when they found out she wasn't interested in making a purchase, something that deeply angered Loke. If it weren't for Lucy's plead for him to remain calm and collected, he would have wrecked each shop that disrespected her. She may be out of Magnolia, but she couldn't risk anyone recognizing Loke or having him make the paper. If Fairy Tail happened to see him in the news, they'd know immediately.
Lucy, accompanied by Loke as usual, sulked down the busy streets of Carbume. She had thought finding someone to take care of her issue would be easier than this. She knew the universe had a vendetta against her but she had hoped that maybe mother nature thought she'd suffered enough. She let out a sigh, prompting Loke to pause his search for any helpful information. The Lion spirit gazed upon Lucy in pity, "I'm sorry Lucy, we'll find someone soon."
She found responding to be far too tiring, so she remained silent, instead choosing to look around as well. It was no use asking people herself if all they did was turn their heads. She knew she looked like a delinquent but she'd rather not expose her body to the harsh sunlight.
The answer to her question hit her like a brick, and she felt idiotic for never thinking of it first. It was pretty hypocritical for her to attack Natsu's education level when she can be just as dense herself. If anyone in Fairy Tail was stupid, it was her.
She felt a pang in her chest at the thought of her pink haired friend, but quickly buried her hurt deep in her mind. Instead, she brought her attention back to Loke, "I have an idea."
Both stopped in their tracks as Loke turned to face Lucy, nodding for her to continue, "Everyone here is refusing to talk to me because I look suspicious," She took a deep breath as she surveyed the store stalls surrounding them, "But you don't. You just need to ask for directions without me there."
Loke nodded in understanding, "Where are you going to go?"
Lucy raised a hand to point towards the town square, "We'll separate there. I'll go left and hide in an alley way. You go right and meet me later."
Loke eyed the large space in the middle of the road with unease, "I don't feel comfortable leaving you in an alley space alone."
Lucy groaned as she dropped her hand to her side, "Fine, I'll summon Capricorn or something."
Loke raised an eyebrow at her with curiosity, "You hardly have any magic energy still, how are you going to summon a spirit like him?"
Lucy bit her lip as her gaze went downcast. She still wasn't used to being so short of magic energy. Ever since her first lesson on Celestial Keys, she'd been blessed with an abundance of magic power tingling beneath her fingertips. She became accustomed to having her friends sitting on a notch of her belt. They were always so close to her and convenient to help her in times of need.
She was supposed to be their master, someone who protected their keys and treated them fairly. She was supposed to provide them with a decent life and keep them out of the wrong hands. But in her current state, she couldn't help but feel pathetic for letting them down. They were picking up her slack when she should be getting her act together.
"Miss Lucy, may I inquire why you are projecting such a detrimental feeling?"
Lucy startled back to life, exiting her endless spiral of self hatred and pitiful thoughts to face Capricorn. She blinked at him in confusion as she tried to work out in her mind how he appeared without causing a commotion from the people around them. As she flickered between his and Loke's concerned eye, Capricorn decided to answer her inner questions with a regal bow that attracted a few wandering eyes, "In case you are wondering, I summoned myself shortly after the first store you visited could not provide directions to the closest medic. I took it upon myself to interrogate the townspeople and have found the location of the well known Miss Aphrosilia."
Lucy and Loke blinked in each others direction before the girl snapped back to whisper with strained panic as she waved her hands in front of her spirit, "Not here Capricorn! People are staring!"
As if a goat man wasn't already strange enough, two men in suits escorting a suspicious looking figure while simultaneously bowing during speech was enough of a reason to make the magic council aware of their activity. She wouldn't be surprised if people thought she was apart of the magic mafia or some evil kingdom from another country and ended up reporting her. It would be easier if she could show her guild mark and make herself known as a Celestial wizard, but that thought left her head as quickly as it came.
Capricorn stood with a quiet apology, attempting to be discreet in his actions before turning to lead the two towards the outskirts of town. Lucy wasn't surprised to hear Miss Aphrosilia lived along the forested land surrounding the town. It seemed pretty normal to her considering the only medic she usually sees besides Wendy is Porlyusica, but that didn't mean she was eager to jump back into the large expanse of trees after her last encounter with a dark guild.
She allowed both Capricorn and Loke to shield her with the lion spirit behind her and Capricorn leading the way. Her nerves were on edge as they approached the ground darkened by the shadows of the tree tops. Memories flashed through her mind as she suddenly wondered if her whip was lying untangled in the dirt a few miles away, or if Natsu's blood was stained in the green grass. Was Gray's ice still solid, or had it melted to mix with the broken wreckage they'd left behind? She wasn't sure if she wanted to know, but part of her knew she needed to see to own up to her failure. She can't hide from it forever or else she would only be putting herself to shame more so than she already had.
They arrived at their destination faster than anticipated. Capricorn bid his farewell as he disappeared to the spirit world again, leaving only her and Loke. She cowered under the awning connected to the small cottage. The place looked rather cozy, but looks could be deceiving. She couldn't be sure if this woman would be similar to Porlyusica.
Lucy took a deep breath before finally raising her fist to gently knock on the wooden door. The only sound for a moment was the rustling leaves above and the shuffling of Loke's feet from behind her. As the seconds passed by she began to feel her nervous jitter about being on this woman's doorstep. She hadn't thought about what she would say or how she would portray herself. She didn't even have an alias or a cover story.
Before she had a chance to turn back, there was a soft click of a lock before the door was pulled open to reveal a tall, slim woman with long dark hair tied back in a high ponytail. She smiled fondly at Lucy which helped the anxiety building in her chest begin to dissipate, though her body was screaming at her to turn tail and leave.
"Hi there, is there something I can help you with?" The woman spoke with a kind voice that made Lucy subconsciously tense her shoulders.
She still didn't deserve such kindness.
"Are you Miss Aphrosilia? A medic for Carbume?" Loke spoke up from behind as he put a hand on her shoulder to ground her.
The woman nodded in return with a chuckle, "Yes I am. Just Aphrosilia is perfectly fine with me."
Loke sheepishly apologized before the attention was brought back on Lucy. She found it hard to look the woman head on, and instead found herself staring at her feet. Her heart was racing as she rattled her head for being so stupid as to not come prepared. All of her hard work was going to be wasted if this lady found her out. Aphrosilia kneeled down to get a better look at Lucy's face only for her to tug her hood down just a bit more.
"I'm guessing she's the one who needs treatment?" The woman asked Loke who gave an agreement to her statement.
Aphrosilia plastered on a smile as she sat herself on the ground in front of Lucy, something that took both Loke and Lucy by surprise. She tilted her head and leaned back on her hands to seem a bit less threatening as she tried to loosen Lucy's tense figure, "What's your name, young lady?"
"Anna," She muttered in panic. It was the first name she could think of in her whirlwind of thoughts.
"What a lovely name, Anna," Aphrosilia turned towards Loke, "Are you her brother? Or perhaps a friend?"
Loke paled at her question as he thought back to all of his failed attempts at flirting with his master. Even if it was just a harmless question, the idea that he could be mistaken for her brother was enough to send his mind to gutter. He wasn't sure he could enjoy using a pick up line on her for quite awhile now, "Uh just a friend. The name's Loke."
Lucy narrowed her eyes under her hood, did he not notice she used a different name?
How dense can he be?!
Aphrosilia grinned at the two before standing once more and gesturing inside, "Please come in. It's rather cold outside."
Lucy and Loke bowed in appreciation before entering the building. The inside wasn't super exciting, just an open seating area with two doors leading to different hallways. It gave a cabin getaway vibe with various wooden carvings and cushioned armchairs with swirling wood designs on the legs. In the corner was a decently sized bear sculpture which only solidified the outdoorsy feel the place gave.
The woman led them down the hallway through the left door which consisted of around 4 different rooms which all seemed to be used for medical purposes. They wound up in the room at the end of the hall. Aphrosilia instructed Lucy to sit on the bed before closing the door behind her. Once Loke was settled in the chair in the corner of the room and Lucy was sat on the light pink bedding, Aphrosilia sat herself on the edge of the sheet with crossed legs and gathered hands, "So Anna, what seems to be the problem?"
Lucy could feel the sweat gathering in her hair as she tried to think of what to say. She figured saying nothing would be just as bad as spilling the truth, but would she be able to tell the story without revealing the whole mission? Would this person realize that she was one of the wizards contracted to take down the dark guild in her town and failed?
Overall, it didn't really matter if she tried to hide it, because if she didn't tell her at least the partial truth, she wasn't going to get better. She needed to be honest with this at the very least, or she could wind up dead in a few days. With shaky hands, she reached for the button holding her cloak up and detached it, allowing it to fall from her shoulders and reveal her swollen skin.
She knew she must look like a tomato, and not in the metaphorical sense. Her skin was bright red and bulging out, she was lucky she didn't have Freed's hair color or she might have tried to hide herself forever. Aphrosila let out a gasp as she let the woman take in her injury, while Loke grimaced at the painful sight. Aphrosilia took a few moments to reel in her surprise before speaking, "This has to be caused by magic, did you take any potions recently? Or maybe you had a bad encounter with a wizard?"
Her words confirmed what Loke was mulling over for the past week. The issue had to be caused by that dark wizards attack. As he and Lucy made eye contact, he could see the recognition there as well. He nodded in encouragement, hoping she would choose to reveal all of the details herself.
"I got attacked," Lucy began with a timid voice, "by this wizard about a week ago. He used a type of magic I've never seen before." Lucy swallowed as her memories began to swirl in her head, "This black light wrapped around my body and paralyzed me. I don't know what it did, but it definitely hurt."
Aphrosilia nodded in understanding as she stood from her seat, "Would you be alright with me touching your arm, Anna?"
Lucy hesitated with a look towards Loke before agreeing. The woman reached into a drawer beside the window to grab a pair of white rubber gloves which she pulled over her hand before sitting back down. She gently pulled back Lucy's sleeve to reveal more irritated skins and ran her index and middle finger across her right wrist. Lucy hissed in pain causing Loke to stand on instinct, but Aphrosilia pulled back immediately with apologies already falling from her lips, "Oh my, I'm so sorry dear. That must have been painful. I can't believe you've been suffering with this for a whole week."
Lucy blinked back her tears and she took a few deep breaths to ease her beating heart. Her head was spinning and her wrist felt like it was splitting open, yet as she looked down everything was intact. Her hand, although still red and throbbing, was still in one piece. She closed her eyes as she let the pain settle in the back of her mind as she'd done for the past week. Focusing on the pain made it unbearable, but if she pushed it to the side she could ignore it for the time being.
"I see your magic levels have been compromised," Aphrosilia, who was examining every inch of Lucy's body, avoided physical contact in order to prevent any more pain, "This seems almost reminiscent of something the dark guild around here is capable of. It may be possible you got unlucky and ran into one of them."
"Do you get a lot of people with this issue?" Loke questioned.
"I wouldn't say a lot," Aphrosila pulled back Lucy's personal space to give her a small smile, "The mage responsible is wicked in nature and seems to have evaded capture at every cost. I'm sorry you had to meet him."
Lucy gave Loke a nervous glance who tried his best to keep calm. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and her open palms were twitching in unease. He knew the guilt over Natsu was eating up Lucy's conscious, it had plagued her nightmares and every decision she made over the course of this trip. She didn't need the guilt of the failed job to weigh on her as well.
Aphrosilia, either blatantly ignoring the tension in the room or not noticing it entirely, stood once more and began rummaging through her cupboards with a few mumbled words here and there. She ended up getting nearly half of her body inside the seemingly endless storage before she crawled back out with something clutched in her hand.
"Ha! Found ya!" She exclaimed as she returned to Lucy's side, "This should do the trick."
In her hand was a clear bottle, similar to one Mira would use to store the guild's alcohol. But rather than being filled to the brim with beer, it was only halfway filled with a light pink lotion. She brought the bottle closer to Lucy to allow her to inspect the contents as she explained, "This is a magic infused lotion created specifically to cure magic draining attacks. It will clear up the irritated skin and allow your body to regenerate magic energy again."
"That's what he did?" Lucy's hushed voice nearly came out in a whisper, "He drained my magic?"
"Yes, my dear," Her voice was soft and laced with a layer of sympathy. Aphrosilia's heart went out of this girl in front of her. Not just for her physical pain and suffering, but for the mental torment she was going through internally, "This mage is known as Jonathon Barsoni. He's a member of the dark guild Valcona. He's rumored to be the strongest in the guild due to the forbidden magic he possesses."
"He can drain magic from anyone he wants?" Loke, having grown tired of sitting, rose to lean against Lucy's bed frame.
Aphrosilia shook her head, "He doesn't just drain magic from the user, he absorbs it directly from the source and recirculates it back to himself with his black light. It wraps around his target and paralyzes them until they either fall deceased or the fight becomes intercepted," with her gloved hands, Aphrosilia gathered some of the lotion on her palms. She began to lather the liquid over Lucy's right arm before continuing her story, "The ones who survive are overcome with a terrible rash that blocks their body from regenerating their magic energy. It essentially renders them helpless."
As Aphrosilia rubbed the lotion into her skin, Lucy felt instant relief. The burning was receding along with the redness. Within minutes her whole arm was exactly as it was a week ago, before she took that god awful job. She was in awe as she raised her hand and wiggled her fingers without a wince or tingle of pain, letting out a startled laugh as her face lit up in excitement. She was beginning to think this rash may very well lead to her death sooner than later, and she couldn't be more grateful to have the cure within her reach.
The spirit beside her gave his own gasp of amazement as his eyes scanned the healed limb, "That's incredible! Her arm is back to normal!"
The woman let her smile grow as the two beamed at the appendage. This was her favorite part, watching hope and happiness rekindle in her patients. She allowed them a few moments of bliss before returning to her task at hand, "This lotion will do the same as it did to your arm to the rest of your body. You'll be fixed in no time."
"Thank you, Aphrosilia," Lucy gaped at her fist in delight as she experimented with the painless motions of day to day life, "I appreciate this so much!"
Aphrosilia grinned at the girl before dropping her gaze to the bandaged hand resting on Lucy's lap. She reached out to gently grasp her palm, yet as soon as she made contact the limb was ripped from her in a certainly painful manner. Lucy grimaced at the sudden movement, yet continued to cradle her arm near her chest. The doctor's eyes flicked towards Loke's who had his own trained on Lucy.
She could see fear lingering in Lucy's expression which only heightened her own concern, "Anna, if you have another injury I'd be more than willing to take care of it. Otherwise, I need to rub this mixture on your other arm before I allow you into a private room to administer the lotion to the rest of your body."
She seemed to be wagering a silent battle in her mind. Her pupils danced across the room in a desperate attempt to find something to say, some type of excuse or reasoning to keep her hand covered, "Can't I just…" She choked out in her panic ridden state, "Do it myself?"
The doctor eyed her curiously, there was something this girl was hiding, and while allowing her to her privacy may have been a considerate option, something was screaming at her to investigate. There was an itch to uncover what was underneath the stark white bandages, but force was never her forte. Aphrosilia was a kind soul, one who appreciated life and all of its wonders. She would never force something upon an unwilling party, but she had an urge to help this pour girl.
With Lucy trembling before her, Aphrosilia kneeled down just like she had outside to appear less intimidating, dawning an appropriately kind smile as she met Lucy's brown eyes with her own blue ones, "Anna, honey, I'm not sure what it is you're so afraid of showing me, but I know that bathing in your fear is the worst way to move on and grow from it," The woman laid a hand on Lucy's clothed knee, "If it helps you feel more comfortable, I'm sworn to patient secrecy. Whatever lies on this hand will stay between whoever is in this room as long as you wish. I swear to you, Anna. I can keep your secret safe."
A single tear trailed down Lucy's swollen cheek and she tried her hardest to suppress any more. Loke hand descended upon her shoulder earning him a jump from the brunette below him. A look to him gave her a nod of encouragement, yet she was still hesitant. She hardly knew this woman for longer than 10 minutes. She may be a very nice lady, but kindness can be a ruse to lower her defences. For all she knew, Fairy Tail could be hated among this town for failing their mission and once she showed her guild mark she could be shoved to the streets to suffer for that failure.
But what other choice did she have? She was already suspicious enough with her cloak and dark clothes, along with her timid nature and severe injury. Refusing to show her hand is only the sprinkles on the cake she'd so carefully crafted with lies.
Would showing her guild mark be the end of the world? No.
Is she terrified of someone reporting her to the guild? Hell yes.
Was it worth possibly not fixing the rest of her infesting rash for the sake of secrecy and fear? Probably not.
Although reluctantly, she gave an incline of her chin in acceptance to allow Aphrosilia to unravel the bandages. If Loke seemed fine with the idea, then Lucy had nothing to worry about, right?
"Do you swear you won't tell anyone?" Lucy's last stretch of paranoia escaped her hold.
The dark haired woman smile gratefully, raising her hand straight in front of her, "I promise I won't tell a soul."
Lucy let out one more deep breath before extending her arm into Aphrosilia's reach. The doctor's slim fingers untangled the white bandages, much slower than Lucy would have liked considering the butterflies that were now fluttering in her chest in anxiety.
As the bandages fell to the floor without a sign of blood, the idea of a hidden injury wasn't one of the possibilities. Aphrosilia had been expected a scar or a bloody gash, maybe a magical wound that refused to heal or even a demon marking that was cursing her until the day she died.
A Fairy Tail emblem was not even in the top 50 conclusions she'd drawn up her head.
Her hand hadn't even a scratch, aside from the sore skin. Her pink insignia was placed in a position that told the woman this girl was proud of her guild. Yet she chose to cover the beautiful pink mark with a bandage, terrified of showing it to the world.
"Fairy Tail," Aphrosilia whispered as she delicately held Lucy's hand in her own palm, "Why would you want to hide such a beautiful guild mark, Anna?"
If it was possible for Lucy's face to flush over her red skin, she would be. She refused to meet the woman's eye, her own embarrassment taking over. Can she even tell her? How would she describe the horror that had transcended last week due to her faults?
"Anna," The doctor shook her head as she broke Lucy from her thoughts, "That's not really your name is it?"
That got Lucy to freeze, had her guild mark really given that much away? Her body was rigid and she could have sworn her heart stopped when Aphrosilia's gaze sliced through her, forcing her to still in place.
"I've seen this particular mark on only one other mage. She's in Sorcerers Weekly as one of the up and coming wizards of our generation. A spectacular Celestial Spirit Wizard bearing ten of the twelve Zodiac Keys, a feat all on its own," Aphrosilia couldn't contain her excitement as her eyes twinkled bright with glee, "You're Lucy Heartfilia, aren't you?"
Lucy barely had time to react before the rather calm and collected woman from moments ago was squealing in delight. She ripped herself from the ground as she frantically scoured her the room for a pen, "Oh dear me, please say I have a pen. I have to get your autograph before you leave. You and Titania are amazing! Oh," Aphrosilia shot up for a second with her pointer finger extended to the roof tops," I can't forget about Natsu and Gray! Oh and Elfman and Mirajane! She's so badass now that she uses her demon soul again!"
"Elfman?" Loke questioned curiously.
"Amazing?" Lucy furrowed her brows in revulsion, trying to hide her sorrow as Natsu was mentioned. She was far from amazing if you asked her.
Though Aphrosilia didn't seem to think so as she flung herself in front of Lucy once more with a sound of affirmation, "Oh yeah, you're totally super cool! You and Team Natsu take down the biggest dark guilds! And you're the strongest Celestial Spirit Wizard in the world!"
That thought jolted Lucy's mind into a flurry of doubts. She was aware she'd become acquainted with the most powerful keys a wizard of her kind can own, though she hardly considered herself the strongest. She never gave the thought much credit in the past. She'd encountered other Celestial Spirit Wizards that gave her a run for her money. Even if she won in the end, it was closer to an even match with how wiped out she ended up being afterwards.
Hence the training she was doing.
"Oh!" Aphrosilia clambered to a stand, "Can you summon a spirit?! I've always wanted to see it in person!"
As her request hung in the empty air, the upbeat admiration seemed to dull as Aphrosilia let reality set in. Her shoulders sunk, "Oh right, I forgot about your magic power. I'm sorry for asking."
"Well," Loke chimed in with a sparkling smile which only prompted Lucy to roll her eyes, "Lucy may not be able to summon one of us right now but you have the King of the Zodiac in your presence already!"
If Aphrosilia was glowing before, she was radiating now. Her mouth was agape as she screamed in joy. She seemed to be having difficulty choosing whether to express her intense enthusiasm towards Lucy or Loke, instead teetering her attention between the two. Lucy only groaned in annoyance.
"You're Leo the Lion! I need your autograph too!"
"Sure thing, pretty lady," Loke promised with a wink, "Right after you heal my master, kay?"
Aphrosilia startled back in surprise, "Oh yes! I got a little carried away. Sorry about that."
Lucy mustered up a small smile as the doctor resumed coating her other arm in the lotion, though it quickly fell as her own mind became clouded. How could someone think so highly of her when she was disgusted with herself? Not only had she nearly killed her friend, but she was causing this town more heartache by letting Jonathon Barsoni roam free. The same man who terrorized the innocent citizens, getting most of them killed for his own selfish greed.
If Aphrosilia knew, would she still praise Lucy as she did before?
As if she could sense the grief, Aphrosilia slowed her massaging fingers, brushing past the pink guild mark with fondness, and spoke in a tone she hoped conveyed concern and not pity, "Lucy, I understand if you would rather keep this to yourself, but I can't help but wonder why you've covered your guild mark?"
She debated for a moment, whether she should tell Aphrosilia the crime she'd committed against her own friends. A small part of her was droning on that it was a bad idea. The guild will find out, and they'll come looking for you.
You can't see them yet. You're not ready.
But a larger part was screeching to tell her. Not to ease her mind with appeasing comments or soothing words, but to prove to her that she isn't special. She isn't amazing in any way. She was a sad excuse for a wizard, unworthy of the symbol stamped to her skin. She wanted to convey her revulsion in a way that showed this person how hideous her actions were.
In the end, the larger part won out as she found herself succumbing to the questions, and explained the horrific night a week ago that led to the mess in front of her today.
"Lucy left Magnolia?"
The whispers were traveling through the guild as Natsu's words pierced the hearts of every Fairy Tail wizard. Though no one spoke to the dragon slayer directly, their discussions reached his ears. He heard the despair to his left coming from Levy's sobs, just like he heard the hitch of breath coming from Gray. Yet he couldn't bring himself to comprehend whatever reaction the ice mage was having to his news.
For all he cared, Gray could suffer any harm that comes to him for hurting Lucy.
Natsu kept his head level as he willed the fire brewing within him to simmer. His emotions could wait until he caught the guild up to speed. Even if he so desperately wanted to unleash his anger on the person responsible, he needed to be efficient if he wanted this done right. This wasn't like with the bickering he and Gray normally ended up in, this was far more serious.
When Natsu's feet padded against the floor towards the stool he stored Lucy's book on, discussion among the guild seised. Once the book was back in his possession, his careful fingers flipped through the pages. "I've been asleep for a week. I have no idea why and I don't remember much from before it happened."
He gripped the book to stop the flow of pages when he reached the three letters stashed against the binding, "But shortly after we came back, Lucy wrote three letters and took off. One was written for me, which is how I know what I know," His eyed hardened as he tried his best to force his gaze from landing on Gray once again, "One was written for Fairy Tail, which I brought with me."
Keeping his head forwards, Natsu delivered the two unopened letters to the Master in front of him. Makarov took both of them with a nod of appreciation, slightly gripping Natsu's hand with his own, smoothing over the tensed fingers in the process.
"The last was written for Gramps," Natsu's words barely past his lips as he tried to reel in his frustration.
"What does the letter say?" Erza, voice soft for a change, asked with a sniffling Wendy draped over her shoulder.
Natsu stepped away from Makarov with crossed arms, giving him the floor to deliver the news. The sound of the envelope seal nearly made Natsu flinch, though he kept himself in check as the letter was pulled from it's home. Everyone was leaning forward in anticipation as Makarovs strong voice was reduced to one of worries. Lucy's words were replaced with his own as he relayed what she had written for them.
Dear Fairy Tail,
I've always admired this guild since I was a little girl. I read every Sorcerer's Weekly magazine I got my hands on. I had Mirajane's Posters hidden under my bed and the stories of Titania memorized. All of the maids in my childhood got so tired of hearing about the new thing Fairy Tail was up too, they tried hiding the new magazines from me. It was my dream to join one day, and that dream eventually came true.
You put your faith in me to represent Fairy Tail in strength and character, but I failed to do even that. I put Natsu in danger and I can't forgive myself for it. I'm sorry I put shame to Fairy Tail's name. I don't belong in the guild as I am now. I can't compare to the members that walk through that door, and I don't deserve to call myself a Fairy Tail wizard.
I appreciate everything you guys taught me, for all of the laughs and friendships I made, and I hope those of you I created a bond with can forgive me for leaving so suddenly. I never wanted to cause any trouble, yet that's all I seem capable of. I need to be stronger than I am right now so I don't tarnish the Fairy Tail name any further.
I wish to return eventually, if I would be accepted, though I don't know when that will be. Until then, I promise to become a wizard you can be proud of. Thank you for all that you've given me, and I'm sorry I let you down.
Sincerely,
Lucy Heartfilia
Natsu remained stoic through the letter reading, unlike his guildmates scattered around him. Many were cursing themselves, a few were crying, and one in particular was furious. Levy, as small as she was, was putting up a great fight in Gajeels arms. She struggled against his hold with tears streaming down her face. He and Pantherlily tried to console her as sharp accusations were flying past her lips in heavy sobs
"I should have gone to her house!" Her shouts, though hushed by her hysterics, were still heard from across the guild, "If I was there she might still be here!"
"She's right," Jet agreed solemnly, Droy nodding behind him, "We should have tried harder."
Many of the members let sorrow drown them, stammering regrets and excuses. Elfman was cradling a tearful Lisanna as he declared his lack of manliness. Reedus looked mournfully at the group painting he'd been working on for the past month, reminiscing in what was once a happy moment. Team Shadow Gear surrounded Levy with assurances spilling from their lungs.
The Thunder Legion were torn, with Freed, Bixlow, and Evergreen leaving a trail of tears and Laxus seeming unmoved. Though the downwards crick in his mouth told a different story. Alzack and Biska were holding back their own sadness if only to cheer up their daughter who wailed in confusion. Cana, Wakaba, and Makao dropped their endless drinks as they let the news sink in with wide eyes.
Erza wasn't as emotional as the rest, though she held a heavy heart as she consoled Wendy once more. Carla hovered over her with a paw gliding over her blue hair as Romeo hung behind the smaller dragon slayer. Gray remained where he fell on the floor with Juvia holding him against her chest.
The situation was difficult for the water mage, for Lucy was her self-declared love rival and Gray was her charming prince. She never imagined Gray as a villain to his comrades, and always believed in him when others turned their backs. Juvia's mind was battling between her love for Gray and her sadness for Lucy, something she didn't feel often. Whether she was a love rival or not, Lucy was still a human being and a member of Fairy Tail. She couldn't excuse what her beloved Gray did, but she also couldn't hate him. People made mistakes, just like Laxus. Just Like Gajeel. Just like herself.
She hoped their friends could forgive Gray like she had, like they had for her.
Natsu couldn't bring himself to feel remorse for bringing this guilt upon them. This was something that could have been avoided, had the people who were able to been there to comfort Lucy while he couldn't. Though the details were hazy, he knew it didn't have to end this way. Fairy Tail was a family, but for some reason they all seemed to abandon Lucy in her time of need.
"I fear this may be my fault," Master Makarov admitted as he folded up the letter he finished reading, "I should have let you visit Lucy sooner. It turns out time alone was the last thing she needed."
"You cannot take all of the blame, Master," Erza argued as she turned to give Natsu a meaningful look, "We are all guilty for what has happened. I take responsibility for my portion Natsu, and I will take whatever punishment you deem worthy for my crime as a friend and guildmate."
Though the anger in Natsu's mind was still raging to be freed, Erza's determination struck through his image of destruction and flaming fury. It left a numbing calm, one he wasn't used to but also wasn't entirely unwelcome. It was enough for him to stand before his team, the same team he trusted his life with, without wanting to rip someone's head off.
It was a hard truth to swallow, knowing the same people you grew up with and fought beside could be the same people to hurt you so deeply.
"Something happened last week," Natsu growled in a low voice as his glare reached Gray once more, "And I want to know. Don't spare any details."
Erza began to recount every inch of the story to Natsu without hesitation. She gave him every detail, every success and every failure, every mistake and every fear, all the way up to the mess of a congregation at the guildhall where Lucy was ridiculed by Gray. But her version of the story, even if it was informative, was missing the beginning.
Gray didn't need much encouragement to spill his half of the story, not bothering to hide any of the remarks he made towards Lucy. There was no point in hiding his actions, and he had no desire to defend himself. He was expecting Natsu to start screaming and fighting again, but it almost hurt worse when he was just disregarded with stone cold eyes.
"So you're telling me," Natsu began as he pieced the events together, "that you blamed her for my death, that wasn't even a death? You said those horrible things to her over a misunderstanding?!"
Gray subconsciously leaned closer to Juvia as Natsu unleashed himself, "Let me get one thing straight, Gray. Whether I die or not shouldn't determine how to treat your family! It wasn't her fault, damn it!" Natsu gripped his scarf as his voice slipped into a desperate tone, "I'm the one who went in to save her! If it's anyone's fault it should be mine for not beating the guy before he could attack me again!"
Oh, Gray blinked.
The words sunk in with a cold bleeding mess of guilt. The reality was smacking Gray in the face with truth and humility. Natsu wasn't just angry at him, or at the guild. He was angry with himself, and if that didn't make everything a hell of a lot worse then he didn't what did.
"Natsu, it's not your fault," Erza tried to lay her hand on Natsu's shoulder but he only shrugged it off.
"You don't get to blame her and not blame me too," His previously enraged persona shrunk into something much more vulnerable as his true heartbreak seeped through, "She's hurting right now, and I'm not there for her. No one was there for her."
He sniffled as he tried to hold back his own sadness with a snarl, "She's more than just a friend to me, and I let her down. We all let her down. And now she's alone all because Ice Prick couldn't keep his emotions in check."
Gray couldn't help the relief he felt at hearing the common nickname, but refused to show it. Much like how he and the rest of the guild chose to bury the not so subtle admission of Natsu's crush on Lucy for later. Instead, he sat up from his crutch that was Juvia's arm to meet Natsu's down trained eye, hoping his honesty was shining through his words, "Natsu, I mean it when I say I'm sorry. I made an awful mistake, and I want to fix it."
"How the hell are you gonna manage that, dick head. We don't know where she is," Natsu asked snarkily, earning a few guilty laughs from the table of sobering wizards.
"I'm not sure," He stammered but continued on, "but we'll figure it out. We'll find her. I was wrong about Lucy, and I won't let my emotions get the better of me again. I need her to know that."
Natsu only stared at Gray for a moment with an empty gaze, his mind was reeling with thoughts. He wanted to believe Gray and trust him again, because that's all he knew. But Gray already broke his trust so terribly that he wasn't sure he wanted to give him that control again. This wasn't just about Natsu, this was about Lucy. And he didn't want anyone else delving into her business until he could settle this himself. He needed to be the one to bring her home.
"You're right," Natsu declared as he straightened his posture, "but I'm finding her alone."
At his announcement, all of the previously sombered wizards bursted with objections causing Master Makarov to shout above the nonsensical noise, "Damn it you brats! Hush your whining!"
It took several moments, and a few smacks from Erza before the guild hall fell silent once more allowing Makarov to speak with an authoritative tone, "We've treated our own in a way that should not be tolerated, and for that we owe Lucy an apology. None of us are in a place to search for Lucy, nor should either of us be given the right to speak to her first," He turned from the guild as a whole to the fire dragon slayer before him, "Natsu, I give you the right to search for Lucy alone, though should you need help, any of your Fairy Tail members are welcome to assist you."
Natsu gave the master a sideways smirk that seemed to raise his own morale a bit, "Thanks Gramps."
Makarov gave him one last encouraging look before he was speaking again to the team in the corner that surrounded this whole catastrophe, "When Natsu returns with Lucy, I hope you can work towards earning back their trust and forgiveness."
Erza and Gray gave a simple nod, though Wendy abandoned any formalities and instead rammed herself into Natsu's legs. Her small arms wrapped around his knees and her sobs ripped from her chest with incoherent apologies.
Natsu stood startled for a moment, him and his team sharing a look of confusion until Natsu gently sat himself on the floor. He unraveled Wendy's arms and instead pulled her in a hug, "Wendy, what's wrong?"
All of her attempts to speak were suppressed against his scarf, leaving Natsu to ponder at his team in bewilderment. He mouthed out 'What is she saying?' Though the other two only shrugged. He chose to stay still, with the entire guild pretending not to watch the dragon slayer awkwardly try to soothe the child in his arms, until she calmed enough to pull her face from his chest.
"I'm so sorry, Natsu!" Her voice was strained but finally unmuffled, "I didn't mean to hurt Lucy! I made her muffins so she could feel better but I didn't know she was gone!"
As Wendy used her palms to wipe her face, Happy ambled to Natsu's side with a humbled expression, "We're really sorry. We missed you and Lucy, I even got her a fish as a present!"
Both of his friends peered up at the pink haired boy who gaped at the two. Before he could respond Levy came rushing from her seat across the guild to hug Wendy and Natsu from behind, "I'm sorry too! I should have visited her the moment she left the guild!"
The perplexed emotion plastered on Natsu's face only increased with the added bodies around him. There were a few chuckles from the surrounding wizards as more of them crowded around Natsu, sharing their own apologies.
"You're a real man, Natsu," Elfman projected with a fist knocking against his own chest, "A real man!"
"Um, yeah," Evergreen hesitantly agreed with a curious look from The Thunder Legion, "What he said."
"We're sorry, Lucy!" Jet and Droy shouted in unison as they jumped into the group of hugging wizards, earning a grunt from Natsu due to the extra weight on his shoulders.
"Alright, guys I get it. Now get off me! You're all heavy!" Natsu attempted to push the mound of people off of his body without hurting anyone unnecessarily.
Even with his complaint, not a single soul moved. In fact, even more people piled on top of the suffocating wizard with 'Sorries' floating in the air. His annoyance melted away into pleas for mercy, which was enough for Erza to step in and knock the tower of wizards off of the boy. Natsu stood with heavy breathes before facing Wendy again. His scowling face now only held a small smile that he hoped calmed her nerves, "Wendy it's alright. I don't blame you. Or Happy, or anyone in Fairy Tail really."
As he spoke words no one expected to hear, everyone's hearts began to lift. His kind forgiveness was something no one realized they were hoping for just as badly as they were Lucy's.
"Erza, thank you for trying your best," Natsu gently pulled Erza into a hug which she gratefully reciprocated, "I know it was hard. This isn't your fault."
Finally allowing her hard resolve to crumble, Titania allowed herself a moment of weakness. She gripped onto Natsu like a life line as her fear was whisked out of her by his words alone. He was a comfort she felt she didn't earn the right to receive, not until she's able to talk to Lucy once again and right her wrongs.
Natsu pulled back with his soft expression hardening once more as he appeared before Gray, who was still on the ground. There's a moment of anticipation where Gray can't determine if Natsu intends on hitting him again or straight up ignoring him. He's pleasantly surprised when Natsu offers his hand. Gray takes it.
He's lifted up to stand in front of Natsu, but doesn't speak. He allows the silence to fill the gap between them, leaving the ball in Natsu's court. He tried to show his gratitude, his concern, his guilt, and his fear in just a single look. He knows he fucked up, and he's not sure if he can ever go back to how things were before, but he wants to try.
"Gray," Natsu sounds… scared, something Gray hasn't heard often, "We're brothers man. I wanna trust you and depend on you. But you can't jump the gun like this again."
Gray only nods in understanding, though a mound of relief began blossoming in his chest at the sound of possible forgiveness coming from his friend.
"I understand where you were coming from. But what you did wasn't fair to Lucy, and you're going to make it up to her," His voice returns to his normal, harsher but amusing tone, though Gray doesn't register the change, "And when I bring her back, we're going to fix this," He gestured his hands around the guild, "Mess. 'Cause I'm sure she's got a lot of things going on her head right now."
"I agree with this plan," Master Makarov stood with his head held high, much like the rest of the guild, "Natsu, I entrust this mission in your hands. Bring my child home."
Aphrosilia listened patiently as Lucy retold her tale about the mission she and her team took that led to her life threatening injury. She finished applying the lotion to her delicate skin about half way through the story and resorted to sitting still as she allowed Lucy to finish. Lucy choked up a few times, and skipped a few rather gruesome details about what Gray said to her, but the majority of the story was fulfilled.
Lucy was out of breath, as if she ran a marathon and couldn't seem to fill her lungs again. Her heart was racing as her world seem to teeter in her vision, she hadn't had a dizzy spell in quite some time. Her eyes danced around the room in search of something to keep her distracted as she avoided the woman in front of her. Aphrosilia seemed to ponder her story with an empty gaze which only made Lucy's nerves jump. Even Loke, who was trying to keep a calm facade, had apprehension written all over his face as Aphrosilia rubbed her fingers along her chin in thought.
"So," The dark haired women broke the silence, and Lucy felt sudden relief that someone finally spoke, "You're telling me Natsu Dragneel, the Salamander of Fairy Tail, got hit with the same magic you did, but didn't suffer the same skin ailment as you?"
"Um," Lucy fidgeted with the ends of her cloak as she recalled the bubbling burn she'd seen on his back, "Yes. It was a lot worse and appeared way faster than mine did."
"Hm," Aphrosilia crossed her legs with her elbow resting on her knee and an index finger tapped her cheek, "Then my guess would be that he spooked the dark wizard enough for him to have to use a quick, high scaled attack on him."
Lucy and Loke cocked an eyebrow at her statement, urging her to explain, "Essentially, he drained magic from your body, which takes time and gives him instant rewards. But he used a large concentration of magic power to attack your friend, which consumes a large amount of his own power but can eradicate his opponent quite fast. The dark light only affects the skin which has been infected by the magic, and because of the high amount of magic used in the attack on Natsu, his skin ended up agitated much faster than yours did."
"So you're saying, Lucy would have ended up like Natsu eventually?" Loke asked with a pale face, "With bubbling, sizzling skin?"
Aphrosilia only gave a half smile, one Lucy could tell was out of pity. And she despised it. She didn't deserve this. To have her pain be taken away so quickly and easily, to have someone admire her and care for her when she barely met them an hour ago. She knew she should be grateful that she wasn't going to be dying by the hands of the same wizards who almost killed Natsu, but that didn't change the self deprecating thoughts she had.
"Lucy-" Loke barely had a chance to drag her out of her negativity before Lucy's own snappy voice was interrupting him.
"Quit it! Quit feeling bad for me!" She couldn't even bring herself to cast a glare at Aphrosilia, because she wasn't really angry with her as much as she was with herself. Instead she kept her hatred festering in her own body as she directed her words towards the ground, "I don't deserve this, your kindness! Didn't you hear what I did?! I almost killed my friend!"
"Lucy…" Loke held back as Lucy's tears began to fall again. He had half a mind to stay away and allow her to calm down using the techniques Aries taught her, but his worry always outshined his common sense.
Once her fingers were tugging at her hair again, he allowed himself to intervene. It was one of the many panic attacks she'd experienced during their trip, and he wasn't sure if he was proud to say he had gotten better at handling them or not. He stepped between the two girls, angling himself towards the brunette with a soft voice as he instructed her breathing.
Aphrosilia watched as her idol, someone she looked up to for years, crumbled in front of her. It was a humbling sight even if it brought an ache to her heart, one that she would remember for years to come. She hardly knew Lucy Heartfilia, but she felt like she had grown up with her, like they were best friends from the past.
Once Lucy's breaths evened out and her shaky fingers had retreated from her hair, Loke returned to his post beside his master. The celestial spirit mage refused to take her eyes off the ground, instead allowing the silence to envelope around them.
"I can tell you're in a dark place Miss Heartfilia," Lucy flinched at the sudden calm voice, "but I can also tell there's so much light within you. It's just a little buried right now, and I hope you can bring it to the surface again soon."
Aprhosilia didn't give Lucy a chance to respond to her before she was recounting a story neither of them expected to hear, "I've looked up to Fairy Tail since I was a child after a Fairy Tail wizard saved me from near death. His name was Mystogan, and I've been working all my life to repay his kindness with my own good deeds."
"You knew Mystogan?" Loke asked with fondness as his memories of Lucy's time in Edolas invaded his mind, "He was a great guy."
Aphrosilia broke out into a grin that caused her eyes to squint, "That he was! He showed me a life I wasn't sure I would ever get to experience," Her expression softened into something a bit saddened, "He saved me from a dark guild who kidnapped me. When he brought me home and told me he was from Fairy Tail, I followed the guild every day after. I stayed up to date on your adventures, especially when a Celestial Spirit wizard joined."
Lucy stiffened, but kept her eyes trained on the floor. Aphrosilia continued, "My mother owned a few silver keys, but I never took up the magic myself. I felt like I couldn't be a good wizard, especially one like those in Fairy Tail," When Aphrosilia's fingers traced over Lucy's guild mark, she had to try her hardest not to rip it away, "But when you joined and I heard your story, you encouraged me. Your background was so different from mine but similar in a way. If a wealthy Heartfilia, who was certainly required to marry into a high standard family, was able to escape and join a magic guild… then…"
The doctor clasped her own hand around Lucy's, "Maybe I can learn magic too. I don't think I'd want to fight battles but, maybe a healer of sorts? I've only started learning necessary spells recently but… You inspired me Lucy," Lucy forced her head to rise as the woman seemed to beg with her voice to look at her, "I don't believe a word you or that boy on your mission said about you. I think you're incredibly brave, strong, and courageous. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to meet such a powerful wizard."
"You don't mean that," Lucy's cramped her fist around Aprosilia's fingers, releasing them almost immediately once she processed her sudden movement and retreated back into her cloak, "You don't have to lie to me."
"I'm no liar," She assured, "I can't force you to take my word for it, though I hope you can come to understand and accept them some day."
As the doctor pushed herself to stand, Lucy joined her seconds after she offered the bottle of lotion, "Here you go. You can go into the restroom over there and finish applying this to the rest of your body."
Lucy gave a nervous nod before disappearing through the door.
"Thank you for doing this," Loke hummed, "I was starting to think I'd be carrying around a corpse soon."
The dark humor didn't seem to bother Aprhosilia as she gave out a hearty laugh. She sauntered over to the spirit and pulled him into her side with an arm over his shoulders. He left out a sudden huff of breath as his body was shifted, but didn't move to leave. When the woman noticed the red dusting his cheeks as he attempted to direct their attention to some weird painting of fruit in the corner, she leaned into him with a seductive pur, "If I remember correctly, Leo the Lion has always been on the flirty side."
"Oh, um" He coughed, still refusing to look her in the eye, "Well my priorities are a bit mixed up these days! You know… run away master, near death scenario, limited magic power… What a time to be alive!"
He internally groaned as his words tumbled through his mind. He sounded like a complete idiot, fumbling around with his hands stuck in his pockets. He was off his game and out of practice, but Aphrosilia didn't seem to mind. In fact, it appeared she found his awkwardness almost… charming?
"Aww I got the kitty all shy," She pulled away from his body with devilish smirk, "You were so full of life earlier, what happened?"
Loke prickled at her accusation. His persona shifted with narrowed eyes and crossed arms though it only seemed to egg the woman on more, "I'm not a kitty. Happy is a kitty! I'm a lion, big difference!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," Her mockery was like poking a bull, "I got the big kitty all shy and upset!"
"Are you sure you passed the first grade?" Loke pried with amusement, "Because I'm not sure you know your animals, lady."
"Hm, why don't you teach me then?" Aphrosilia was in front of him again, but much closer than he was used to. She was encroaching him small personal bubble, not that he particularly minded, but he wasn't quite used to this. A beautiful woman, he couldn't deny her charm, was playfully bickering with him? Willingly? Without him have to impress her or butter her up?
"Are-"
"Are you flirting with Loke?!"
Both heads shifted to face a scarlet faced Lucy, though the red was no longer from her rash but from the embarrassment she felt for walking in on such an… intimate moment. The two scampered away from each other as Lucy tried to reel back her horrified look.
"Would you look at that! That's the Lucy I remember from the magazines!"
Without moving from her spot in the doorway, Lucy offered the lotion back to Aphrosilia who shook her head, "Keep it, just in case. You never know if you'll need it again."
"Oh, thank you," She tucked the bottle into her pocket to pack into her bag latter, "But I don't think I have enough money to repay you…"
The doctor waved them off, her earlier involvement with Loke seemingly forgotten from her mind, "Ah, don't worry about it. It's the least I could do after all you've done for Fiore. I mean, your team alone has taken down so many dark guilds. It's insane!"
"Almost," Lucy murmured.
"Ah, 99 out of 100 is still a passing grade Miss Heartfilia," She scolded with humor, "Karma will have Valcona soon, whether it's by the hands of Fairy Tail or not. Though I still have faith their remaining dark wizards that scattered into the woods will feel your wrath soon."
Lucy mustered up the most grateful smile she could. Even if she felt shitty and wished she could hide from the world for an eternity, this woman very well probably just saved her life. It was a debt she hoped she could repay one day, and Lucy wouldn't dare forget what she'd done for her.
"Say, do you have that pen?" Lucy asked with a now rare smile gracing her lips once more.
Aphrosilia's eyes lit up as she revived her earlier search for the pen, which was residing in one of the drawers by the window. Lucy gave her a simple autograph with a heart by the edge of her name. Loke on the other hand gave her a longer declaration of her beauty which Lucy rolled her eyes too. By the time the two were out the door, Aphrosilia had hung the autograph above her desk.
"I hope I can see you again!" Aphrosilia called out with a wave from out the door towards the walking wizards, "I'll keep your secret safe, Anna!"
Lucy felt a giggle rise into her chest, but her mind suppressed it. Instead she let her smile speak for her. Loke was much more at ease with Lucy's skin having returned to normal, and he felt his flirtatious character replacing his overly cautious one. It was like the visit with Aphrosilia not only cured Lucy's physical injury, but also helped him regain his footing in his own mind. He was back to his people loving, carefree self.
It was a breath of fresh air.
"So, what's next?" Loke asked once Aphrosilia's cabin was out of sight.
The busy town center was just coming to view when Lucy voiced her decision, "We're going to finish what we started."
Those dark wizards hadn't seen the last of her.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Or Merry Late Christmas? Haha. I intended on updating this yesterday but I didn't have time to finish this chapter before hand :(. I struggled with writing Natsu's portion because I couldn't decide if I wanted to make him more angry than I did or not. But I think what I did fit what would have happened had Hiro Mashima been in charge lol. I don't think he'd want Natsu to beat up Gray too much to the point where they couldn't come back from this.
Also Aphrosilia? Idk why I made her flirty, I just wanted some Loke action because he's been so serious and worried that he lost himself for a bit lol. I thought making her a but flirtatious would help bring him back to himself, you know? Also I've now preplanned this story up to Chapter 11 or 12 depending on if I split one of the chapters into 2, and I still have more to plan after! I got an incredibly sweet review that helped me determine what to do with this story, so I'll be making this a longer story so I can reach everything I wanted to write! Thank you to Gaia Kame for your review!
Next chapter we'll see some ass kicking from Lucy and Natsu's first lead! Let's get onto this adventure!
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