Typically, people tended to believe those who seemed to be an authority figure on any given subject. If someone talked with a ton of confidence and seemed to know what they were doing, they could convince a lot of people into believing something with no questions asked. There was even a term for it, authority bias.

Ferb was experiencing the exact opposite of this.

Phineas was so blind in the ways of attraction and romance that, the moment Phineas claimed that Isabella had a crush on Ferb, Ferb dismissed the idea as something beyond all realms of possibility. If Phineas said it was a crush, it wasn't. Simple as that.

Ferb, however, also knew that there was no way he could convince Phineas of his own wrongness, because Phineas "impossible is a word for the cynical" Flynn just would not accept it.

So, Ferb, man of action that he was, decided to remain silent and ignore it until Phineas got distracted enough to forget all about the matter.

Which sucked, because Ferb actually had the power of observation necessary to notice that Isabella was kissing him and blushing, plus the powers of deduction necessary to piece those together into "Isabella likes me."

But, since he was completely ignoring that explanation, he was turning to alternative possibilities. And, because his life was bonkers to the yonkers insane, anything from 'Phineas asked her to kiss me and she's embarrassed over it' to 'brainwashing ribbon' to 'aliens' were all plausible.

Ferb was bouncing back and forth between 'secret memory-altering brain chip' and 'accidental amnesia misunderstanding' at the breakfast table with everyone but Candace when his sister came down.

She was still in a towel, breathing heavily as she stopped before the table, drawing everyone's gazes.

"Candace, honey, you're dripping everywhere," Linda said. "What are you even doing? Go get ready for your job interview."

Candace, however, ignored that to look Phineas in the eye.

"All your phone calls will go directly to voicemail today. If you attempt to drag me over to find proof, I will smack you with the nearest heavy object," Candace promised. "Do not mess this up for me."

"But-!"

"Just go play some sports or something!" Candace ordered, before stomping back to get changed.

Phineas paused.

"Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

"It's nice to know that some things never change," Lawrence said as the two boys went to the backyard.

"You're right," Linda said, before noticing something. "Hey, where's Perry?"

Lawrence just laughed in response.

After dressing up and commuting, Candace was knocking on the door of the Doofensmhirtz Good Incorporated building's penthouse.

"It's nice to mee...eeeeet…. Youuuu….?" Candace trailed off, suddenly recognizing the man in front of her from that one incident where she almost broke time.

Fortunately, he didn't seem to recognize her, as he simply said, "Oh! You must be Vanessa's friend! Come in!"

"Uh, yeah! I'm Candace. Candace Flynn," she said as she was guided inside. "I've got my resume and-"

"Oh, no need for that, I just need someone to share ideas with," Doof said casually as they walked into a very evil-looking lab. "See, I'm doing my best to do good, spread wonder and joy throughout the world... or at least the Tri-State Area."

"Anyways, I've always been good at making elaborate machinery, it all started when my nemesis was thwarting my plan to become-"

It was then that Candace remembered that Vanessa had, in fact, specifically warned her about Dr. D's habit of going off on tangents about his dramatic backstories.

Unwilling to hear this story, Candace cut him off with a polite "excuse me, sir? What am I supposed to do?"

"Oh. Oh, right, your job. I want to spread joy, happiness, yadda yadda yadda, what do you think of this?" he asked, pulling a tarp off of a giant laser skull machine thing.

"What on earth is that," Candace asked flatly.

"A machine to prevent ice cream headaches!" he announced, puffing out his chest with pride. "I got the idea after I got an ice cream headache from the popsicles they sell at the cart in the park."

"Oh," Candace said, not expecting that.

"It works by melting a person's skull so that the cold from the ice cream can't stab at the inside of your skull!"

"I'm sorry, did you just say it melts skulls?"

"Yes. To prevent ice cream headaches."

Candace took in a deep breath, before saying, "I suddenly understand why you need help."

Perry, who had been watching from an airway vent, felt confident in Candace's common sense and self-preservation skills, and so, he resolved to return later.

In the meantime, he returned home, where Phineas and Ferb had made a giant flying stadium.

The giant flying stadium was because, well, Candace never specified what sport she wanted the boys to play, so they decided to play all of them, with a stadium that could adjust its own dimensions as needed for each game. This would be very difficult to do on the ground without ruining the lawn and upsetting their mother, so, obviously, it had to fly.

There was also the fact that a giant flying stadium was just objectively cooler than a giant stadium on the ground.

It was an epic event, worthy of dramatic announcers and cheerleaders and huge crowds, so naturally, all three were included.

Phineas and Ferb's antics just naturally attracted crowds, so there was no shortage of people to fill the stadium.

Isabella had gladly taken the mic when Phineas offered, ready and willing to use her truck rally voice once again.

However, Phineas, innocent and oblivious as he was, had plans sometimes. And so, he shoved Ferb into the announcer booth with her.

This would have been much less of a problem if Ferb wasn't in a miniskirt at the time.

See, Ferb never had a problem wearing dresses for whatever reason as a kid, letting him easily fill the role of cheerleader when the position opened up. However, he was no longer a child, but a teenager. And he was in the same room as another teenager who happened to have a crush on him.

Isabella, by the way, was handling this poorly, if by poorly, you meant terribly, and if by terribly, you meant awfully.

"The, the clock is t-ticking, it's time… for volleyball-!" she stammered, just as Ferb tapped her on the shoulder. She had been trying to keep her gaze away from him and his cheerleader outfit, but she could not ignore him this time.

And so she glanced at him. And saw him holding up a badminton birdie.

"It's badminton?!" she demanded in shock, actually looking at the field. And it was most definitely badminton, because if it wasn't, then there were a bunch of birdie-launching platypi machines on the field for no reason.

That was when Perry meandered his way into the announcers' booth, prompting Ferb to pick up the platypus, lay him on his lap, and start petting.

Isabella desperately tried to keep track of the game and not look over, when the gurgle of one satisfied platypus caught her attention.

And it was a problem, because, in the pursuit of comfort, Ferb propped his feet up on the desk before him, meaning that Isabella got an eyeful of his long, willowy legs.

Her jaw dropped. Django's amazing serve went completely unnoted, and no one even heard about the scores suddenly being tied.

Now, normally Ferb would interpret a girl's jaw dropping, face flushing, and stuttering at the sight of him as, well, her checking him out. But he was ignoring that possibility, so instead, he took it as Isabella being very surprised by noticing something about him.

It couldn't have been Perry on his lap, because everyone in their inner circle was used to Perry showing up whenever. So, Ferb decided it was something else.

"I thought shaving my legs was only proper," Ferb explained quietly.

"You w-what-?!"

Silently, Ferb pointed at her hand, then at his legs.

Isabella froze, before the implied question hit her like a lightning strike.

'Do you want to feel it or something?'

Isabella let out a sound that sounded a lot like a piece of paper crumpling and tearing at the seams, because that was what was happening to her sanity.

"It looks like we'll have to take a break," Ferb said into the mic, "our announcer seems to be under some emotional distress."

"Vanessa, um," Candace said into her phone, stopping there because she didn't know what to say.

"Is my dad giving you a hard time or something?"

Candace glanced over, before returning her attention to her phone.

"He's sitting in the corner, hugging his knees, and crying about lawn gnomes," Candace said.

Vanessa paused.

"Candace, what have you done."

"I don't know! I just stopped him from melting skulls! And then he made another Inator thingie, and that thing was supposed to undo deforestation by returning trees to nature, and I went 'uh, isn't that destroying a building?' and then he tried to make another one that was supposed to make bad people disappear, and I went 'Dr. D, that's called murder' and then he started getting another idea so I was like 'maybe you should try and see if it's a good idea before making it?' and then he started crying."

Candace heard Vanessa sigh very loudly.

"You are on your own," Vanessa declared.

"What, Vanessa, no! You can't let me deal with this alone! He's your dad!"

"That doesn't mean I know how to handle him!"

"Vanessa!"

"Okay, maybe… just… I don't know! Let him make something that isn't completely terrible!"

Vanessa then had to hang up, because it was very hard to carry a stack of paperwork with one hand, a cup of coffee with the other, and talk on the phone at the same time.

Candace put her phone back in her pocket, gulped, and went to talk to the crying man.

It was just that, just then, a giant flying stadium flew past the building, because they needed to restock on snacks during the break.

This giant flying stadium was very fast, so it generated quite a shockwave as it moved. This shockwave had the effect of blowing clothes off clotheslines, sending newspapers flying into the air, and knocking things off of shelves.

Which was why a thick photo album suddenly smacked into the back of Candace's skull and sent her sprawled onto the floor in front of Dr. D.

"Ow! Hey, what was…" Candace trailed off as she pushed herself up, spotting the album. It had landed on the floor, opened to a random page. "Hey, are these ideas?"

Doof looked up, seemingly growing sadder at the sight.

"Oh, those. They're my failed, evil Inators. No point in looking at those."

"No, no, some of these are good ideas!" Candace exclaimed.

"They are?"

"They are!" Candace said, before launching herself into a musical number, back-up dancers just appearing out of nowhere to support her.

'Kicking sand and water together can make a beach! With this Super-claw-inator, nothing's out of reach! Bread, turkey, juice, plus dessert can never hurt-!'

But of course, this fanfic doesn't have the budget for musical numbers, so this is when we'll have to cut away.

Isabella gulped down her water messily, wiping at her mouth roughly after.

Ferb offered her another water bottle, only for Isabella to refuse.

"No, no, it's fine, it's just, boy, announcing sure makes you thirsty!" Isabella said quickly, only to regret her choice of words, choices in life, and her general existence.

Thankfully, Ferb just ignored that.

He passed her the microphone, allowing her to start announcing once again.

"EPIC SUDDEN DEATH TIEBREAKER BETWEEN THE TEAMS! THIS ROUND WILL DETERMINE WHO WINS, WHO LIVES, WHO DIES-!" Isabella screamed, before suddenly remembering that she was in the same booth as her crush. Sheepishly, she added, "uh, teehee! I mean, let's all have a fun time!"

"Yes, we wouldn't want the last moments of anyone's life to be a bore," Ferb added, making Isabella pause.

Ferb looked at her expectantly, prompting her to continue. And so, Isabella did, in the calmest voice she could muster.

"Baljeet has the ball, oh! Phineas stole it, and- OH! Buford just tackled him, smearing the punk against the ground!"

Isabella panicked at the sudden reappearance of her truck rally voice, only to look over and realize-

Ferb was trying to keep himself from laughing.

There was no hiding the amusement in his eyes, how he had pressed his hand over his mouth, how eagerly he was watching her.

And suddenly, Isabella felt like her heart was beating louder than the roaring crowd inside the stadium.

Emboldened, she began to dramatically narrate the game, causing everyone's excitement to go through the roof.

"OHHHH! IT SEEMS LIKE GINGER HAS DECIDED TO LAY THE SMACKDOWN UPON THE OTHER TEAM! NO ONE COULD STAND A CHANCE AGAINST HER IN ARCHERY- HUH!? WE'VE HIT THE TIMER'S END! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE OUR NEXT SPORT!?"

"Seems like it's Croquet Y-8," Ferb said simply.

"CROQUET Y-8 TO THE DEATH!"

Ferb turned his head to avoid laughing into the mic, encouraging Isabella even more.

"Thank you, Candace, I needed that encouragement!" Doof exclaimed as the backup dancers left.

"What's up with the backup dancers?"

"Oh, they're essential to the Inator making process," he said. "You should stick around for one of our rehearsals one day-"

However, this was when a giant flying stadium full of screaming people and one particularly loud screaming person with a mic passed by, causing the two of them to clutch at their ears.

As Doofenshmirtz began demanding what in the world that was, Candace knew that that giant massive thing could only be the work of her brothers.

However, she made a critical mistake, in that she assumed that Phineas employed a strategy she would have thought of: if you couldn't bring her to the thing, bring the thing to her.

It was entirely an oversight on her part.

But that didn't mean she was going to put up with it.

"Dr. D? Do you have anything that could, I dunno… make things stop?" Candace asked, the moment they could finally start hearing things.

"Uh, depends, do you mean stop moving, or stop doing things, or… actually, that's about the only two uses of the word stop."

"Yes, yes they are," Candace said, "now, something that will make someone stop doing things."

"I think I've still got the blueprints from my old Freez-inator somewhere?"

"Great! Let's get my brother- I mean, that racket- to stop!" Candace declared.

Doofenshmirtz was very confused, but also very excited to do something that was considered good.

Thankfully, with Candace's help, the construction went by very quickly. Unthankfully, by that time, the giant flying stadium had already left.

So, obviously, Candace ran off to report the thing's coordinates to her new boss. For good and justice and yadda yadda yadda.

She called him with the location, he shot off the beam, and then just as Doof was doing the customary celebratory "oh yeah baby"s and such, there was a knock on his door.

"Oh, hello there, Perry the Platypus, did you come to meet my new assistant? You just missed her," Doof said, before Perry crossed his arms over his chest.

Now, while Doofenshmirtz didn't speak platypus, he did speak 'uh-oh', and could recognize that this was a Very Bad Sign. One could even call it disastrous.

"I-is something wrong, Perry the-"

Perry pointed at the Freez-inator, causing Doofenshmirtz to start sweating.

"Th-the Freez-inator? No, it isn't- It's not evil, I know it's the same one I used when I was evil, but it's not- the intent is different-!"

Perry began tapping his foot, and so, Doof began to beg.

"Perry the Platypus, you believe me, right?! After all we've been through!?"

And for a brief moment, Perry's expression softened, before Doof opened his mouth again and ruined everything.

"It was my assistant's idea! She wanted to freeze things! It's not like I did something wrong!"

Now, Perry, despite being aware of all of Candace's vices, knew that Candace would most likely not do evil things of her own free will. Unless she was really annoyed or something, but that was true of most people.

So, angry and disappointed in Doof's attempt to throw Candace under the bus, Perry pulled off his hat and reached into it.

Doof gasped in horror as Perry pulled out the weapon of his doom.

A ticketpad and pen.

"No, Perry the Platypus, you can't-! You can't give me a ticket for bad behaviour! No!"

But Perry put pen to paper regardless.

With a stern glare, Perry slapped a ticket into Doof's hand, then smacked the Inator's self-destruct button.

By the time Candace came back, Perry was long gone. Doof had already finshed cursing the platypus, and was sobbing as he cleaned up the remains of his destroyed Inator.

Candace took in a deep breath, before patting Doof on the back.

"There there… we can try again tomorrow," Candace said awkwardly.

By the way, the beam hit the stadium just as a woman was scolding her husband for becoming a sports coach for a volleyball/soccer/football/crochet/etc team without a single place to practice.

The crowd and the players and the announcers left the now-completely-immobile stadium in a rush of excitement and laughter, as was natural after one of Phineas and Ferb's antics.

Though, if Isabella stuck a bit closer to Ferb as the group returned to the Flynn-Fletcher household, no one seemed to notice.

Except Phineas. He definitely noticed.

flyfletchboy01: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! IT WORKED! IT WORKED! IT IS WORKING!

punkprincess: are they dating?

flyfletchboy01: ...no.

flyfletchboy01: But they were laughing it up and had a totally good mood going!

Vanessa wondered how badly her friend had to have suffered for something as small as that to be considered a victory.

"Oh, you poor broken man… don't worry. Everything's going to be fine."

punkprincess: it's time to break out the big guns, dude

Predictably, Vanessa's suggestions would only make everything worse.