Chapter Fifty-One
The Man enjoyed dropping my rivals right in it — Directors and Joint Chiefs left but he stayed, and I could see the glint in his eye — but he'd dropped the poor moderators in it too, and with their schedule toast they weren't sure what to do. After a minute of confused counter-suggestions, I gave Skuffles a look and she gave a loud enough yip to bring silence. I offered everyone as warm a smile as I could manage.
"SOP isn't going to work, is it? And to be fair, my rivals have had a great deal to take in, including any amount of stuff they can try to use as political ammunition. They all seriously need to score points, so how about each gets a question, one-minute max, and I'll try to answer?"
It gave each a promise of spotlight, and senior senators could go first, which they were bursting to do. Senator Stupid had served one term less than his opposite number, who squared shoulders.
"Ms Hauptman, may I clarify some points of fact before proceeding?"
"Of course."
"Thank you. You said one of your, ah, guardian oaks, I believe, killed a vampire who trespassed on your land?"
"Correct."
"How did a tree kill a vampire?"
"Grew a twig through him. Control room, can we have the first and second images from my flashdrive, please, split screen." The first showed clothes hanging from the twig, dust beneath, the second the contents of the briefcase. "The FBI were present, with Kennewick PD, and other authorities were promptly informed. With old vampires, and di Ragusa was five hundred and change, there's not much dust to vacuum, but the FBI took it, the clothes, effects, and gun, and its ballistics data interested a bunch of European PDs."
"I see." I doubted it, and as the Man came back on screen I thought he did too. "So the law was observed?"
"Which law did you have in mind, Senator? Taking a statement from an oaktree's not so easy, though I did have an oakman check its wellbeing. Vampire-slaying was a new departure, and trees aren't big on innovation. The law hasn't much to say about dismissing the undead, though that will be changing, but yes, as AED Westfield was in charge, under presidential authority, protocols were observed."
"After a fashion. Presidential candidates are not supposed to kill people, Ms Hauptman, and you seem to do that a lot."
"Aren't they, Senator? Presidents do a lot of killing, though rarely in person, I grant. But my bottom line is simple — if a being is trying to kill me, I'll try to kill him, her, or it. I don't do murder, only self-defence."
"You do it a lot."
"I do it when necessary, Senator. Di Ragusa's on the oak, though I'll take responsibility for having it there and being his target. The fourteen vampires dismissed on the 30th walked into a trap that would not have harmed anyone else, and came intending massacre. Control room, images three and four, please, split screen again. Those rifles matched the silver slugs, you can see multiple other weapons, and that charming version of Grond is a battering-ram. Weighs sixty-some pounds, and at the time had vampire magic in it, but the sunlight burned that out. Any which way, they were armed and dangerous, and rushed the house at one in the morning. FBI were informed and examined everything. And of the twenty-two beings who died in Gateway Park today, the sleepers were dismissed by their own, daywalkers by Secret Service agents, bodyguards, and Tad and Zee Adelbertsmiter. I killed Lenka Yakovlevna, and a coalition of kinds and magics dismissed Bonarata. It's true police procedures have been delayed — I have to give the PD my statement after this, lucky coyote that I am — but I have been busy and the issue was discussed with the PD and President. What exactly are you taking issue with, Senator?"
"A lot of people die round you, Ms Hauptman, however you cut it."
"A lot of people die around military action, Senator, which is what I've been doing. And yes, a lot of people who attack preternaturals wind up dead, because d'oh, preternaturals have magic and strength. Then again, I've been working on that. No human–fae war. Preternatural co-operation with one another and humans, on this occasion against vampires, who were killing a lot of people. So maybe the answer is that a lot of people die around me because I have a habit of walking into war zones and trying to stop the fighting. Are we onto your actual question, by the way, or still clarifying points of fact? You've certainly exceeded your minute."
He was rattled, and Senator Stupid was chomping at the bit, but he had to try to assert himself.
"Points of fact, Ms Hauptman. My question is why you believe yourself above the law, as you clearly do?"
"Which law have I broken, or anyone with me today, Senator?"
"I can't count them."
"Try. Can you make it to one? Having seen that footage, St Louis PD couldn't. But you're probably angling at separate but equal justice for preternaturals, and that's necessary. Suppose a vampire stole something, warranting a custodial sentence. But the vampire can translocate right out of any cell you might be able to lock it in. A wolf behind steel bars can just bend them and leg it. And what does a life sentence mean if you don't die? You want a three-strikes law to mean a thousand years of custodial costs? Or to try to execute a vampire by electric chair or lethal injection because that's what a state law mandates? I know you'd like a snappy soundbite but this is not straightforward stuff, Senator, so if you're really sniping at me, get your facts a lot more clarified than you've managed, and if it's separate but equal, get real."
Senator Stupid leaped into the breach.
"Those are things you need to do, Mrs Hauptman. Half the claptrap you've spouted has no corroboration at all. Faerie queens, wizards, claiming that gewgaw is Excalibur. And it's all so very convenient for you."
"Gewgaw?" My eyebrows were high. "Can't say I rate your powers of observation, Senator, and if you think assassination attempts are convenient I pray you never find out why they really aren't."
"For all anyone knows, Mrs Hauptman, you are no more than an inventive liar, and you are certainly using gross intimidation — you're covered in weapons, and that ghastly beast beside you should be evicted at once."
Try it, senator. And my name is Skuffles.
She'd come to her feet and everyone heard. Senator Stupid goggled, and I couldn't stop a laugh.
"Some free advice, Senator. Annoying Skuffles is even sillier than annoying me. And of course I'm covered in weapons — I set out this morning expecting an assassination attempt from the most powerful vampire in the world, I luckily acquired another along the way, and as I told the Chief of Campus Police, you really don't check Excalibur at the door. And even unarmed I have my magic, so you could call me a walking weapon, as anyone trained to martial arts is. But let's see if we can get you out of the declarative mode and into the interrogative. What do you think I'm lying about, Senator? I'm sure there are ever so many answers, but let's go one at a time, and first up is?"
He gave me a truly poisonous look.
"Vampires are so very fast, so strong, you say. Prove it."
I raised eyebrows again. "Did you actually watch that footage, Senator? You do realise it was in very slow motion? Bonarata translocated in carrying a two-hundred-pound werewolf in less than half-a-second. And did you notice his decapitated torso struggling hard to rise despite having Skuffles to its chest, a grizzly on one arm, an Elder Spirit on the other, and fifteen hundred pounds of magmatic tibicena on its legs? These things, Senator, carefully considered, do rather suggest Bonarata was very fast and very strong. But perhaps you think he was an exception, and most vampires are ninety-eight-pound weaklings who missed out on Charles Atlas. Or maybe it's just a rhetorical question you think puts me on the spot. Still, let's see if we can get you your proof. Control room, please put on screen for viewers GPS co-ords for the centre of this daïs. Thank you."
I again moved away from the lectern.
"No guarantees, people, but I can extend an invitation, and US vampires already registered and signed up to the Code of Conduct might like a chance to say hello. One warning, because vampires are in shock tonight from the feeding and Turning ties that died with Bonarata, so who knows what we'll get, but the senator deserves his reassurances, don't you think?" There were so many varieties of silence, and I enjoyed this one as I faced a camera. "Thomas Hao, if you wish to translocate to those GPS co-ords I specifically invite you alone to enter this building. The senator has doubts as to vampires' power and it seems sensible for everyone to be assured messing with one is rarely a good idea, especially if you're human. Come in peace, on behalf of your kind in the US, and be received in peace."
Hao was no child of Bonarata's, and vamps needed to speak, so I didn't think it'd be long, and it wasn't. At normal speed, even knowing how it was done, I couldn't see the slice-and-walk-through; he just appeared centre-stage, impeccably suited, and ignored gasps to take two slow paces, gazing at me, and bowed, deeply. Yet another flavour of silence appeared.
"Thomas Hao, thank you for coming promptly, but I need no bow."
"Oh but you do, Mercedes Hauptman, Elf-friend and Troll-friend, for you have done what we despaired of achieving. All honour to you. Many of my kind rejoice, however we are outed, for we are delivered by your hand from a great evil."
"Not by my hand alone, and by the valour of many."
"And yet without you Bonarata would not be cinders in the mantle, as nameless as air within the Arch." Trust a vamp to see it. "I cannot speak for all my kind in this nation, but for Western and Mid-Western seethes I offer our deepest thanks. And Stefan Uccello the Warrior asks me to tell you he too rejoices in your most astonishing deed."
That brought a real smile to my face. "You and all registered vampires are welcome, and please give Stefan my best."
"Of course. Introduce me to all the nice humans?"
We turned to face the audience and cameras.
"Fellow Americans, and all who watch, this is Thomas Hao, born a US citizen sometime in the nineteenth century, now senior vampire in San Francisco. I was not dealing with human–vampire negotiations but am aware he has been very helpful to the FBI and others. Mr Hao?"
"Thank you, Ms Hauptman. Fellow Americans, know that I and all my kind are truly in deep shock, however most are also overjoyed. It will take a while for us to recover our wits and re-organise with the FBPA, but we are doing so as fast as we can, with the aid of Director Wiseman and AED Westfield. Those free of Bonarata's control, unconnected to him or any of his Turning, have always lived as the Code of Conduct now binds all to do. We need to feed, but we seduce, and care for those who feed us, physically, mentally, financially, and magically. Bonarata raped and killed as much with neglect as with intent, and you saw the scars on that poor werewolf to whose blood he was addicted. He was, in every way Mercedes Hauptman has said and more, a monster, the nearest thing to a devil out of hell I have ever known, as a score of vampires many times my age agree. But we are not as he was, and glad now to be able to live openly and law-abidingly among you, walking a Path of Mercy and offering what strengths we have to projects that benefit all."
That was more than I'd expected this soon, and shocked as everyone was it was a comfort.
"Yet there is also the Path of Assertion, and as we walk openly among you, so we will defend ourselves against any attack." He turned. "You doubt that vampires are very … fast, Senator?"
In his fractional pause he moved a dozen paces to stand directly in front of the senator, who jerked back behind his lectern, revealing really poor reaction time, especially as Hao had already grasped the end of the senatorial tie. Senator Stupid had some weight but Hao's hand didn't budge an inch as he came to the end of his tether and bounced back.
"And very strong, yes? Let's see."
Abruptly, the senator was cradled in Hao's arms as he looked up, taking a step clear of the lectern and gauging the height of the roof, while I held my breath and thought this might be better than my best imagining.
"Do stay still, senator, or you'll hurt yourself."
And with an easy heft Hao threw Senator Stupid twenty-some feet straight up, cameras tilting as they followed, and caught him when he came down again, deftly setting him upright.
"Faster than you can see, senator, and stronger than you can stop. And one more thing, maybe." Hao turned. "Mr President, as a signatory to the US Vampire Code of Conduct, I am sworn not to use magic on any human without their informed consent. I have to doubt the senator's would be forthcoming, and it is not entirely clear to me that he is informed about anything much, so I wonder if I might have your let to demonstrate briefly, and on my word without lasting harm, save perhaps to pride and ego, what vampires are now rightly forbidden to do. I believe a demonstration, this night, will serve our national security and interests."
Senator Stupid was trying to decide if he would go white or puce, with unhappy results, and the Man cocked his head.
"I follow the logic, Mr Hao, but while I can grant permission for a demonstration, and disallow any claim of oathbreach, I cannot indemnify you against any lawsuit the senator might bring concerning assaults on his person."
"And do you grant permission, Mr President? I will not break my oath."
"I do, Mr Hao."
"Thank you. Mmm. Assaults on your person, senator? No harm, no foul, but you're not one to trust." Hao looked at me. "I don't think it likely, Ms Hauptman, but if he ever persuades a jury to award real damages might they be covered by the Borrowed Warchest? This demonstration is in aid of successful integration, after all."
I swallowed a laugh. "By all means, Mr Hao. I'm sure the trustees would look favourably on such an application."
"Splendid. Now then."
"Get away from m—"
Senator Stupid's reactions let him down again, and Hao caught his eye.
"There, there, senator. You've had a rough old day, haven't you, and it's only got worse. Do come here and let me kiss it better."
There was another kind of silence as the senator took a slow pace towards Hao, face relaxing. Hao effortlessly unpicked the tightly knotted tie and redid it, but left it loose and undid the senator's collar.
"I'm a little thirsty. Do kneel and offer me your throat."
Senator Stupid did that while the world held its breath in fascinated unease. Hao looked at the audience, opened his mouth to bring fangs out with a snick — True Blood got that right — and leaned in to look the senator in the eye from about two inches.
"Boo!"
Hao snapped fingers as he withdrew magic in pure showmanship, and the senator showed his slowness one more time. It was a good second of bug-eyed staring before he tried to lurch up and back, only to find himself held by one of Hao's hands on a shoulder, while the other did up his collar before tightening his tie to a comfortable fit.
"Senator, you asked Ms Hauptman to prove vampires were very fast and very strong. She has done so, simultaneously proving you very weak and very slow. With reactions like that you could be blindsided by a tortoise, so it is hardly an accomplishment but answers your inane doubts."
Hao strolled back towards me, cocking his head.
"Is there anything else, Ms Hauptman? I am at your disposal, but there is much else I might be about, daywalking by night."
"One thing, Mr Hao. Please explain that phrase to everyone. I know what it means to me. What does it mean to you and your kind, now?"
"Much." He looked at audience and camera. "Vampires who walk under the sun are daywalkers. Thinking of compliant vampires, Ms Hauptman created a hashtag, #DaywalkingByNight. It means living by ethical human values even when consigned to darkness, transparent to human medical supervision in matters of feeding, free of fear and loathing. It means being without Bonarata, accepting law and self-discipline. It is vampires' Path of Mercy, to walk with honour and charity because he is at last dust and it can be more than a dream."
"You bet it can, Mr Hao. That reminds me, though — Bonarata had two gold rings, Dark Lord style, but I couldn't sense any magic. Any reason to worry about them?"
"Not that I know, Ms Hauptman. He loved his gold. I would melt them to burn out taint, but doubt any true force."
"OK. Thanks. That's good to know, and FBI, please note that advice. Can you ID the vampires who were sacrificed?"
"Six were from his own seethe, I think. Europeans, anyway. Four were taken from East St Louis, at random as far as I know."
He named them, and I nodded.
"Thank you, and go safe, Mr Hao, with all luck in the work of reform."
"Indeed. And to you, Mercy the Vampire-slayer."
He translocated out with a half-grin, and I shook my head.
"Someone was always going to go there. Headline-writers, be aware I think very poorly of bad puns. Anyway, Senator, you asked and I've answered. QED. Vampires are really not to be messed with lightly, and as you might have noticed it took multiple bullets, two trolls with bigtime clubs, Skuffles, a grizzly bear, Coyote, and a tibicena as well as me, a whopping gift of Underhill's magic, and Excalibur working with Carnwennan and Manannán's Bane to dismiss Bonarata. File under messing with vampires heavily, as in every scrap of weight I could beg, borrow, steal, cajole, or magic out of nowhere. Happy? I hope so, because you and your minute are so done. Who's next?"
If I'd been one of my rivals I'd have called time out, and Senator Stupid had gone into a funk, as well he might, but they all had their own fixations and kept on coming, though questions were more sensible. Yes, I was serious about SAGE, and knew my gun crime stats. Parkland had to be answered, and all the avoidable massacres by the brain-fried. Yes, I really did believe climate change a global emergency warranting serious and immediate action even if it cut profits or meant ring-fenced tax hikes. Remember Koyaanisquatsi, that useful Hopi word meaning, among other things, a state of life that calls for another way of living — whang in the gold, those Hopi being a smart bunch, and I thought a lot of people knew that in their bones, whatever their fears and natural dislike of inconvenience. (That got applause, which was pleasing.) Yes, I did go hunting on four legs. It was fun exercise, and hunting is a serious national pastime besides being one thing coyotes do anyway. Get over it, because yes, I also ate what I hunted that way.
She doesn't eat things she hunts any other way, Congressman, and if you'd tasted Bonarata you'd know why.
I gave Skuffles a reproving look, and she shrugged, skulls rattling. The congressman retired in confusion, and on we went. Yes, I arranged the problem the Director of the Secret Service had had with ravens, because no-one messed with Jesse, but I'd forgiven him, and had nothing but respect, praise, and thanks for the sterling work his agents had done and were doing. No, doing scent forensics I didn't conceal anything, and when the Medicine Wolf Accords had come into force the Marrok had warned US vamps that if their scent was detected at a crime scene they would not be concealed from law enforcement. And no, the Marrok couldn't order me to do anything, he being wolf and me being coyote, ditto Adam.
"Anything to add, love?"
A camera found Adam as he stood, amusement rich in our bond.
"The Congressman should try giving you an order, Mercy. It does not work at all well, believe me, ladies and gentlemen. Any decent husband will know exactly what I mean, and in Mercy's case multiply by the largest number you can think of." I sent an indignant Oy! and he grinned. "More seriously, it matters that everyone understands Mercy really cannot be magically coerced, by anyone. She is a sufficiently dominant coyote to be co-Alpha of a werewolf pack, which ought to be impossible, and a lot of magic bounces right off her. Despite the unpleasant opening question she doesn't enjoy killing anything except to eat, but coyotes are predators, no predator has a problem killing in self-defence, and her tally to date includes the River Devil, Manannán mac Lír, Cantrip, and Bonarata. You don't mess with any preternatural lightly, but you really don't mess with Mercy, period. You respect her, and walk a little softly around her. It's different for me because we are mates, husband and wife till death do us part. But I have seen it grow in others as Mercy's powers have grown. First People know she pushed the world, and it moved. So do Elder Spirits, Marrok, Gray Lords, now vampires. The earth fae who tend our gardens, oaks that guard us and the Freed against intrusion, even Underhill in her own dimension, recognise a new power, and gravitate towards it in interest and, increasingly, gratitude. Excalibur came to her hand for the asking. Think about that. And one last thing, because werewolves are not as feminist as they should be, and some Alphas thought Mercy must be under my orders, or my pawn. Details are privileged, but I swear on my honour she set them very straight, and no wolf now doubts she is her own Alpha, as well as my co-Alpha of the Columbia Basin Pack."
He sat, and I made a fast decision.
"I'd like to laugh off some of that, because it embarrasses me, but I can't deny it, however I still find it strange. I was what I was, very junior league, only an avatar, until Guayota. But that left me with a big chunk of his magic, and Manannán the same, which brought the cloak. It's all taken some getting used to, and Excalibur will take more, but having power thrust into my hands I have tried to use it for the widest good. So far that's meant ditching Cantrip, the Medicine Wolf Accords, Hansford, nailing ex-Senator Heuter, the Columbia Restoration and Cascadia evacuation, SAGE, sorting the vampire problem, laying foundations for the Ol' Manitou River Accords to come, and pointing out to as many people as I can that main parties and our two-horse-race system are increasingly badly unfit for purpose. You tell me how I'm doing, in November."
The audience took that under advisement for two seconds, and decided cacophonous applause was in order. Quite a few stood, then almost everyone, and I looked at Skuffles, who was amused.
You think I have a better volume slider?
As everyone heard her, she did, and I gestured them to sit with a smile, but an old man with a younger one beside him remained standing, and raised a hand. I saw the look on his lined face, and pointed with Manannán's Bane.
"Get that gentleman a mike, please. You have a question, sir?"
A student intern, I guessed, rushed up the aisle as fast as being very careful not to step on wolves allowed. The old man took a mike, and nodded thanks before looking at me.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, ma'am, but I don't know I'll ever have another chance, and it's pressing on me hard after what I've seen today."
"That sounds serious, sir. What would you ask?"
"Twenty years back, ma'am, I was living in Oklahoma City. I married late, and though I was gone fifty we had a little boy, my son here. Then my wife was killed by a drunk driver, God rest her soul, and we coped as best we could. But one day my boy was very late home, and when he did arrive he was off his food, and couldn't remember what had happened. But he had a bite mark on his arm. Two deep little wounds." He drew a deep breath. "Well, I thought real hard about that, and about a neighbour of mine I had some worry about, because he was one strange fellow, strong as an ox and never to be seen when the moon was full, but always courteous when we exchanged neighbourly greetings. So that night, when my boy was asleep at last, I went along and knocked. He was surprised, I could see, but listened, came to look, and told me he'd take care of it but there were no guarantees, there'd likely be trouble, and if I had kin elsewhere we should stay with them a while. Well, my wife's parents were on at us to move to St Louis anyway, so we did, but when I went back to see what was what I was told my neighbour had moved. I asked around, but no-one knew anything, so I made our move permanent, fearing I'd cost a man his life. I haven't said anything until now, but I think my boy met one of those bad vampires, and my neighbour was a wolf who protected us at some cost to himself, and I'd dearly like to give him the thanks I owe, if I can. Is there any way you could find out, ma'am, because it's haunted us, and even when wolves came out we didn't know if I'd been right about vampires?"
I looked at Adam. "Ring any bells, love? Policing action against vamps in Oklahoma City in the late '90s?"
"Something's ringing faintly. Lone wolf, maybe."
I could go and ask the Marrok.
I fought laughter. "I imagine he's watching, Skuffles." I looked at the old man and his anxious son. "We can surely find out, sir, but it might take some days. If you give Adam names, dates, and contact info, someone will get back to you. You're probably right. The bite sounds vamp, and if your neighbour was a wolf he'd have taken predation on a minor very seriously, as would the Marrok. Action would have been taken, but what exactly I can't say without getting records checked."
The old man frowned. "You said 'policing action', ma'am. Have wolves been holding back vampires for us?"
"Bluntly, sir, yes, but it's complicated. Any individual wolf is vulnerable to vampire attack, but if it gets to seethe against pack, seethe loses. And once wolves were out they would not tolerate vampire behaviour that raised anti-preternatural feeling, because they and the Fae took the blame for vampire wrongs. Net result is wolves moved against vampires when there was cause, but only locally, and that took some doing. Avatars, fae, and half-fae, too. We were all running scared, but weren't doormats."
"For God's sake, he's a plant." It was of course Senator Stupid. "Anyone can see it. Convenient stories, and illicit questions from the floor? Are you all completely out of your minds?"
Silence number seven appeared, but Skuffles was losing patience.
Not as much as you were when Thomas Hao flicked you a glance, nitwit. A deaf male troll could hear the truth in that human's voice, and the pain and honour. Mercy keeps telling me I shouldn't bite you but it is sounding more rote by the second. I would hush your mouth, if I were you, though thank God I'm not.
Hello, silence number eight, despite a moderator repeating her aloud, and I reached to scratch her ruff.
"Sound advice, Senator." I turned back to the old man. "I doubt it will occur to him, sir, so I apologise for his insults. No citizen should be treated with such ignorant disdain by any elected representative. Give Adam the data, and we'll do what we may, as fast as we may."
"I can't ask more, ma'am, and thank you sincerely. Giving thanks where they are surely due will be a weight off my mind. And I'll thank, ah, Skuffles also." He hesitated. "This ain't relevant, but it's been eating me some. Are you a Deadhead, er, ma'am, with your skulls and roses?"
Mercy is, so I am too, happily. I've had some good talks with Irpa and Purity about what jamming really means, and we all go for Jerry Garcia's acoustic and bluegrass too. What's not to like, sir?
He and his son grinned widely.
"You're a … I'll say coyote, though what do I know, after my own heart, ma'am. Thank you. And thank you too, Mrs, ah, Ms Hauptman — forgive me, it don't come easily at my age — for letting me ask my question. I was minded to vote for you anyway, because you've been making a lot of good sense to me, and you've a dab hand at slogans and, whatchemecallums, hashtags, you and that firecracker daughter of yours." He grinned. "Do I want us all dropped right in it? Does sanity work everywhere? Oh yeah. Life hasn't been so interesting in ever. But I had a thought, watching you and that sorry excuse for a federal senator you've been beating up on because he echoes all that white, might, and right poison Heuter spouted, which is that bright, might, and polite sounds a whole lot better to me."
I didn't bother stopping my grin. "Talk about casting your bread upon the waters. Nice one, sir, and I'd be glad of permission to quote on posters. I expect Jesse'd like a word too. She's the real hashtagger in the family. But time ticks by, and we'd better get on. Who's up next?"
Watching Adam and Jesse head up the aisle to talk to the old man and his son, Adam fielding a call I'd bet was Charles or Bran, I told another two congressmen that yes, I really would go for major reforestation, because I'd rather Jesse's and everyone's children didn't need heat suits to take a walk, and no, I didn't think hacking vampire bank accounts was ethically dubious, because, d'oh, under Bonarata's regime they were killing US citizens without need or justification. Then we were on to the first woman, who took the kind of breath I recognised.
"Ms Hauptman, as I've listened to you today, talking to Ol' Manitou River, the President, and St Louis PD, and seen all you've done, which has blown my mind, I've realised I am going to vote for you. My supporters will be disappointed, but I hope they will understand. I withdraw as a presidential candidate. May I still ask you a question?"
"Yes, of course, and thank you. Ask two."
"Thank you, Ms Hauptman, I will. First, what on earth is Skuffles? And second, as you have no slate candidate running against me yet, if I resign from my party and stand as an independent, supporting your core policies, can I join your slate? I know some will call it naked opportunism, and worse, but I call it common sense."
I was losing track of types of silence, but as my snorfling Da said, I did know what to do with spotlights and golden opportunities.
"Brava, ma'am. To your second question, a qualified yes. We need to have a conversation about those core policies, and other things, but if, then surely, and welcome aboard the USS Sanity. First question is more complicated." I turned. "Maxi-me, what on earth do you think you are?"
You made me, Mercy. Skuffles swung her head to look at the woman. I was a sending, when Mercy needed to get someone's attention. But I was among her first magics aided by her cloak, and took a twist in my making. Irpa noticed and created her tattoo version of me. Others became interested and offered gifts of magic to see what I could do with them. It built up, and now I am what I am. Her will is my will, but I have my own. I know it's not PC, but you could call me a dedicated maxi-me with attitude.
I laughed, and so did the Man, most preternaturals, and Jesse.
"Skuffles, that's a song. We could ask the Grateful Dead and Triple Troll, though it's not quite their style, or the Boss's."
Ask Ray Davies.
"Why not? Anyway, does that answer your question, ma'am?"
"Uh … I guess. What's a sending?"
"Usually just a magic gopher, a detached bit sent on its way to do whatever. I couldn't do them before I had the cloak, and when I made Skuffles the morning after the night of Wyoming, we were all bruised souls. I had some extreme emotions, and they overflowed. Roses from the Garden of Manannán's Death, skulls from the mineshaft, and ghosts all over who truly were grateful dead. Go figure. Skuffles has been having to lie very low, out of sight and vampire mind, because she was a hole card against Bonarata, as it turned out a critical one, but now that's all done you'll be seeing her much more often."
The congresswoman set a trend, the most junior man and second woman also announcing withdrawal and asking what further sorts of human–preternatural collaboration I thought possible.
"The point is to understand parameters of technologies and magics. Great manitous don't have many limits other than geographical but water still flows downhill. Underhill doesn't do electricity. Most vamps can only daywalk metaphorically. And if we want someone to expend time, strength, and magic, there has to be a quid pro quo. So think about things that benefit everybody, each kind alone and all kinds together. It's about common good, not personal advantage. Climate change affects everyone. So do crime and natural disasters. National security can command consensus, but it's trickier because the Fae are independent and our security concerns not the same as Underhill's. Vampires were troubling all. More specific local co-operation is possible, as with Celilo Falls, but that's within the Columbia Restoration, which was mandated in the Medicine Wolf Accords. And all of that is reason to vote for other preternaturals on my slate. If Jeremiah Stourbridge wins in Kentucky he'll have an obligation to think hard about how whatever might benefit Kentuckians. If Irpa and Vanna win in San Francisco and New York, what might two port-city trolls bring to bear on bridge management? The Medicine Wolf Accords provide a platform we're exploring to discover what we might jointly be able to build on it."
"Yes, I see. Thank you."
"You're welcome, ma'am." I looked along the line of punch-drunk rivals then at the moderators. "That's actually one complete round of questions. And then there were nine." I glanced at Senator Stupid. "Or eight, as we have a new definition of walking dead. Does anyone want round two?"
After a beat there was laughter, and the moderators fought grins.
"Perhaps not, Ms Hauptman, and we are well over our scheduled time of closure, though I doubt anyone minds. But if other candidates are done asking questions, perhaps you might take some from the audience?"
"By all means, sir."
The intern with the cordless mike was joined by others, and tempo changed with the nature of questions and marginalisation of my rivals. I canvassed campus main-party chapters, finding open disappointment with national behaviour, and eager willingness to volunteer without being sure how to do so that I addressed. Quite a few had heard Frank lecture, so Others 101 and the desirability of having people who understood the preternatural within federal and state agencies came up, as did SAGE and post-Parkland, what telling First People's history properly would mean, and lots of Ol' Manitou River and vampires. Surprise. A St Louis U. contingent made for theological questions on ghosts in general and within Bonarata that didn't have answers, but I tried to be clear about what I knew, and what just made sense from my perspective. I drew on what I'd said to Reverend Jenkins about not sacramentalising magic because it was magic, and the need to understand variable values of impossible and miraculous without getting mystical. And inevitably someone asked to see Excalibur.
"Sorry, sir, but no. You do not draw this blade without good reason, and simple curiosity, however understandable, isn't enough."
It was also true my arms still ached.
"Oh. OK. But that's really Excalibur? Like in the books?"
"It is. I already bore Carnwennan and they belong together, forged by the same hand, and as lore has it, wielded by the same hand also."
"Cool. You called it to you?"
"I asked and it agreed to come, sir. Weeks ago, thinking about Bonarata's immunities, it occurred to me having a seriously magical sword might be a really good idea, so I went to see Excalibur and asked it if it would mind. I never was a girl guide, but being prepared is common sense."
There was yet another of those silences.
"You knew where it was?"
"Turned up in Seattle a while back, and I've been keeping track."
"Seattle? And you asked it if it would mind helping you?"
"You don't make assumptions about magical swords, sir, and courtesy is usually good, don't you think?" I laid a hand on the hilt, feeling it warm. "Excalibur does."
"Uh … right. On the film you said something when you … um, used it?"
"When I slew Bonarata? I asked it, in Old Welsh, if it would of its grace now slay me this dead yet living thing."
"Cool. You speak Old Welsh?"
"Gwyn ap Lugh does, and I asked him to translate. He's a great deal more reliable than Google, not only when it comes to languages."
The laughter let me move on, or back, to what Ol' Manitou River might want, and how it would be paid for.
"A whole lot of talking has to happen before anyone has answers, ma'am, and none of it simple. But we've found in the Columbia Basin that with governors involved from the get-go and practical attitude, fair and acceptable ways to get things done can be worked out. I'd think the basic model would be local finance with state or federal intervention when someone is facing a … let's say manitou-specific bill they can't hope to pay, though there'll be questions about why that is. I mean what I say about not leaving anyone in the green lurch if we can help it, but we are going into that lurch as fast as we can. Today I had time on my side, by Underhill's grace, but with climate change we are all racing against it."
That went down well, but a serious-looking student asked why Jesse had been with me when I knew I was walking into danger.
"That's bordering on the intrusive, ma'am, but one short answer is that she's an adult and makes her own decisions, and another is that if she'd been anywhere else she would have been less well protected."
"But she was firing at Bonarata. That can't be right at her age."
"Over the border into intrusive, ma'am." But Jesse stood, Adam beside her. "Sure, Jesse? You do not have to answer."
An intern reached her, and she took the mike.
"It's alright, Mom. Other people are asking on social media, so I'd as soon get it done." She turned to the student. "The practicalities were simple. I could be of most help by being here today. I wouldn't be a distracting worry as an alternative possible target, and as I've trained with the Glock I can be relied on to shoot straight. The bullets didn't harm Bonarata, but they distracted him for Skuffles, so I did my bit and I'm proud to have done so. I'm glad I don't have the burden of having taken a life, but also … I dunno, relieved, maybe, to know that if I ever have to pull the trigger, aiming to kill, I can. No trigger freeze. It's nothing I want to do, but I'm as clear as Mercy that if you're trying to kill me or mine I'm going to stop you any which way I can. I've argued this with post-Parklanders, because I go with SAGE. Yeah, we have way too many guns, but it's about what sort of guns. We're never going to ban them like the Brits, however we need to control them way better than we do, so people at specific risk — which I am because Dad's dad, Mom's mom, and the world seems to have an endless supply of fruitcake haters as well as good sane people — are entitled to carry provided they have licenses, which I do, thanks to the CIA. I hope the number of heavily armed people around me will ease now Bonarata's dust, but I'm gonna be carrying my Glock for a while. No, it's not objectively good, but it's the best we can do just now."
"Thou shalt not kill!"
"Too right, but being killed really sucks too, and Mom's dealt with that one. Are you a fruitarian?"
"What? No."
"Then you eat dead things. How do you think they got that way? The principle's rock solid, but what we apply it to varies, and the law recognises justifiable homicide for reasons everyone gets just fine and have no age limits. Pray you never face a real threat, and get over it already. Ma'am."
Jesse was wise enough to hand the mike back, sitting with Adam's hand on her shoulder. The student was open-mouthed, but I didn't have any sympathy even if Jesse's neat filleting had had some temper in it.
"No follow-ups, ma'am. We've all had a very long day, most of it on global TV. Who's next?"
A moderator intervened. "Actually, Ms Hauptman, I believe we need to wrap. It's nearly midnight here and the East Coast needs to go to bed."
"Fine by me, ma'am. Chancellor, thank you for your help in arranging this event. And thank you all for listening."
The Chancellor collected a mike and stepped up to the daïs.
"You promised to campaign differently, Ms Hauptman, and you are a woman of your word." Amid relieving laughter he looked up to the screen, then turned to face cameras. "Mr President, my fellow Americans, and all who watch, has there ever been a day of such astonishment? We were anticipating Ol' Manitou River and a debate, and got both. We also got a series of revelations — vampires among us, three assassination attempts on Ms Hauptman in twelve days, national and international alliance, that extraordinary Italian hoard, the worst imaginable crimes and evils, and their amazing ending. We met Mr Hao, and saw Excalibur summoned out of legend … or perhaps only from Seattle, which is food for thought." Then he showed why listening to Andrea is smart, and I gave thanks I had a statement ready to release. "And yet what I find pulsing in my poor bruised mind is the valour we have seen. Would anyone have thought any Hauptman, as they greeted Ol' Manitou River and oversaw introductions, were awaiting heinous magical assault? Such grace under fire is an astonishment, and however we all have much yet to understand it is clear we should be deeply grateful. So I will end by adding my thanks, personally and as Chancellor of Washington University in St Louis, to the President's. Thank you, Ms Hauptman, and all with you, for your incredible valour today on all our behalves."
Applause is a kind of release, everyone had pent-up feelings, and he'd let them off the leash. I smiled and nodded, but they weren't stopping, I was tired, and there was still the police statement, so I shook hands with the Chancellor and moderators, and offered one to rivals. Senator Stupid just glared but others shook, and I wondered how getting out of here was going to work, and where I needed to go anyway. Continuing applause meant the audience were still in their places, so with Chancellor in tow Skuffles and I collected Adam and Jesse, and everyone else fell in behind as we headed up the aisle Freed vacated ahead of us. Even better, it turned out St Louis PD had sent the Captain uptown with a team of statement-takers, and WashU had opened a classroom, so we were able to get to it straight away.
Frank, Rachel, Jeremiah, and Ros were with us, needing reassurance I was OK before giving highlights of Frank's lecture, which he'd aced. I let Adam hold me, sipping water and glad to be silent after way too much talking. The PD were sensibly restricting it to what anyone had seen and done in those slow seconds, and no-one was into digressions. Jesse said she'd felt slow time envelop her, seen translocations, and followed orders, firing at Bonarata three times. Then she'd watched Bonarata's body parts but hadn't seen magic or ghosts, only the head zooming about until it became a dustbunny. Later she'd cleaned salt off Skuffles's teeth. We clarified that salt got rid of most magical residues, and I gave the Captain points when he asked Skuffles for a statement.
I was waiting and knew what Mercy wanted, so as soon as Bonarata stumbled I took him. I used my wooden teeth, and I'll swear I got his heart, but knew it hadn't dismissed him. Irpa had a better idea, so I flipped his head up. After that it was hanging on until Mercy and Excalibur did their stuff and he turned into a mouthful that beggars description though I've been wondering how to describe it ever since. Any questions?
"Um … wooden teeth?"
She showed him. I have several kinds, depending on what I need to bite. They didn't work today, but would on any other vampire.
"Ah. Right. And, er, those skulls you wear …"
Are glamour. They all became roses for a moment. I do see dead people, Captain, because Mercy does. I don't wear them.
"No, of course not. Well, thank you, ah, Ms Skuffles."
I grinned, but it was my turn. "I felt vampire magic begin, and pulled on Underhill's slow time though the cloak. Overdid it, but smoothed it out and extended. Took stock, realised sleeping vamps were being sacrificed, felt gutsick rage, and matched guards to daywalkers. Put Adam and Jesse on Bonarata, shot Lenka Yakovlevna twice, saw her die, and asked Jill to go bear to check her momentum. Switched to Bonarata, also two shots, body, to knock him back. Saw Skuffles take him and Irpa's move, but could see the bond of rejoining and felt its magical makeup, which was as ugly as sin." I drank water. "Can't prove a word of it, Captain, but there was Undeadness, and a ghastly mess of black witchcraft mixed with fae magic She of Livorno stole from her mother, and a felted braid of ghosts, hundreds of them. Called Excalibur through the incomplete triad in the Garden of Manannán's Death, used magic to separate the ghosts, and cut both links. Banished liberated ghosts onwards, and saw Bonarata unravel. His last word was 'No', I think, but he didn't have a larynx by then. What's that line? Crying to the end, 'I have not finished'. But he was finished, and the other vampires and Lenka, so I let slow time go and went to help poor Skuffles. I was getting enough sympathetic echo to know how bad a state she was in, but Ol' Manitou River made it easy to nix the witchcraft residue. Then I had to eat because I'd burned about a million calories."
"You did all that in two seconds?"
"We were running about 20:1, so most of a minute. Felt like forever."
"God above. What was that thing in the garden you mentioned?"
"Not human business, Captain. The Garden of Manannán's Death is Underhill, and some of the magic happened there."
"Fair enough, Ms Hauptman. It's just you were standing right under the Arch when you did all this, and there's usually a ton of tourists there. Are there any, um, magical consequences we need to know about?"
"Huh. Good question. There's nothing I know of that poses any danger to anyone, though there's an unhappy ghost about, but when I passed under the Arch I realised it attracts a lot of ambient magic. It's the form and scale, the wonder of it. So it might have picked up more. Ask Ol' Manitou River, or a good white witch. And when we were deep-sixing Bonarata I had a thought about the Arch as a fitting headstone, nameless and indifferent, and Hao had the same thought. Vampire … pilgrimages, I suppose, in their inverted way, are not beyond the bounds of possibility, so the NPS might want to think about night opening hours."
"Might, yeah. I think there'll be more pilgrims than that, Ms Hauptman. Ghosts are harmless? Huh. But no more … active magic?"
"Depends, Captain. If the Arch becomes a serious focus, ask again. But I'm not aware of anything the PD needs to worry about. We were careful cleaning up dust, which has no active magic but you don't want to breathe it. FBI analysed di Ragusa's and it was ordinary grave mould. Bonarata was different because of all the black witchcraft."
"OK. Do you mind if we summarise that for the public?"
"Not at all. Check with the FBI, but you have my permission to release the whole statement. I'm not telling you anything I wouldn't tell everyone, now. Many secrets ended today, however plenty remain and always will."
"Oh yeah. But thank you, Ms Hauptman. I've spoken with the brass and DA, and we're all signed off on this now. We just needed to be clear because we do have a body. You really want to bury Ms Yakovlevna?"
"Un huh, but I don't know where. I'll need to make enquiries to see if any of her pack are alive, and she had plenty of victims down the centuries though who knows what any descendants know? But she was a victim too, and I hope she's been received with mercy, so I'll see to some rites."
He looked at me carefully. "You're really something else, Ms Hauptman, and if you're not our next president I'll be very surprised. Good luck with that. Now, what do you need to get out of here?"
"Thank you, Captain, and enough room for everyone coming with me to get a hand on the cloak. You saw us arrive."
In the end that meant the parking lot, but with the time pushing 2 a.m. Central we made it out to the Garden. There was still a crowd of fae sightseeing, and as Brent, Jill, and Jesse had been talking there was a delay for massed duckpond inspection. I gave up, and sat on a bench with Adam, asking the cloak if a five-minute nap might have a higher sleep value. Lying down wasn't possible with the Glock on one hip and Excalibur and Carnwennan on the other, but I could stretch out my legs, leaning my head on Adam's shoulder, and went to sleep faster than I can remember.