It was stupid. They were fighting about both Captain and the First Officer beaming down, against protocol, again.
Jim was not going to let up, he may be Captain, but there was no way he was going to miss out on the adventure. He came to space to see new places, and meet new life-forms. Not sit on a chair while his Vulcan First does it all.
So, here they were fighting. In Jim's room, because of course, Spock didn't want anyone else on the ship to know that they weren't as fluid a team as they seemed. Starfleet's dream team, reduced to a soundproof room -to keep Jim's loud exclamations of outrage and Spock's calm but calculating words- hidden behind closed doors.
"Spock, for the last time, no. I am not sitting this one out. I did all the reading, I know what I'm walking into." Jim was trying to keep his anger under wraps and maybe, just maybe, have an actual conversation with his first.
"Captain, I'm afraid that I cannot allow you to place yourself in any unnecessary danger, when I can, and will, lead this mission." Spock cool voice was fraying, as was his patience. They'd been at this argument for 20 minutes now, with no obvious signs of improvement.
"'unnecessary danger'? Spock, it's a class M federation planet, this is probably the safest mission I could go on!" Jim's voice climbed a few octaves.
"Captain, do you not remember the reason behind this mission? The inhabitants are becoming more hostile towards the federation, this is to establish their possible secede from the federation. So, as you said, no this would not be the 'safest mission.'" Spock's voice trembled slightly at his repressed irritation with the Jim.
"Dammit, Spock! I know, but I won't let you go down there without me. I'm not letting my guys walk into a danger zone without their Captain right there with them!" Jim was red in the face from his yelling, his chest rising and falling in hard pants.
"Captain, why? When I can obviously handle this mission without you." Spock raised an eyebrow in confusion, his voice slower with thought."Your presence is not required for this mission, whereas, mine is.
"I know you can handle yourself, but dammit don't you see? You idiot, I love you! And I'm not letting you go in without me!" Jim's eyes widen as he realized what he'd said. Knowing Spock had caught every word, the words that were never meant to leave his head. Gulping, Jim watched carefully for any signs of Spock fleeing before he could explain. He saw none, Spock's face was blank. Not good.
"Sorry, that, uh, you weren't ever supposed to, y'know, know? I'm, um, sorry? Can we just forget that you can have this mission? Okay? Okay, yeah. I'm just gonna." pointing towards the bathroom, Jim made to flee from the room until Spock left. As he turned and started walking away, a hand clasped his shoulder.
Jim froze. His mind whirled, trying to think of the million reasons why Spock would touch him now, that wouldn't lead to crippling pain when his hopes and dreams were crushed under Spock's well-polished boots.
"Captain- Jim-, I believe we need to talk."Spock's voice cut through Jim's internal panic. Turning slowly, Jim saw Spock's face. And where he expected anger, confusion, hell even disgust, all he saw was a soft smile. Well, as much of a smile as a Vulcan like Spock could manage.
"Y-yes, Spock, I believe we do." Jim smiled back. "I also, totally take back what I said about not going on this mission."
"No, you don't." And Jim had to agree with that if it kept that soft smile on Spock's face, he'd do anything.
It wasn't a magical cure for their continued fight over both Captain and First beaming down. They still fought, and sometimes Spock was banished back to his cabin, but they always made up. It was still months more before Spock would say 'I love you, too', but that was okay. Jim was willing to wait.