Tori rounded the corner outside of Sikowitz' classroom and headed towards the front door. The sounds from the auditorium could still be heard, reminding Tori that the world had in fact not ended. She sat down on the stairs by the entrance and tucked her head between her knees, trying to repress the panicky feeling in her chest. Footsteps echoed from the floors up to her ears, alerting her of someone's presence.
"Hey Tor, you alright?"
Tori sniffled and wiped her eyes, swallowing back the sobs that rocked her upper body. "Yeah Andre, I'm just fine."
Andre smiled and sat down next to her, leaning against her right side. "None of us really know what even happened. Were you and Jade...?"
"We...I don't really know what we were to be honest. We started hanging out after we realized we had some things in common, and it snowballed from there."
"I see. Sometimes when you bond with someone on some personal levels like that, lines can get blurred. Things can get messy."
"Jade and I were doing so well. She had gotten to the point where she could be in the same room as me and not want to die, and I had actually gotten to like having her around. She changed towards me and we actually talked, it wasn't just harsh one liners and looks that could kill."
"Same thing happened with me and Jade last year. It took her a long time to get used to the rest of us. She took to Beck real easy, but she treated me and Robbie the same way she treated you."
"What about Cat?"
"Well, Cat and Jade have a special relationship. Jade said something about Cat being like the little sister she never had. She gets annoyed with her, but she can't be mad, you know?"
"Yeah. I just wish this didn't have to happen. Things were starting to finally get easy, and I had to go and put too much into it."
"Don't blame this on yourself, this is on Jade."
"I guess. I just got too involved too fast. I should probably get a handle on that."
"Nah, it's everyone else that needs to get on your level. Not many people really put themselves out there anymore, really give their all to a relationship. I think it's cool that you give people a chance to be friends with all of you, not just what you want people to see."
Tori genuinely felt better, sitting up straight and wiping her eyes. Andre was her best friend, and he really did know what to say to pick her up. Andre gave her an encouraging smile and bumped her knee gently with his fist, then cleared his throat.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
She always gone too long anytime she goes away
Andre carried the notes out with the smile still strong, and Tori couldn't help but laugh. She took a deep breath and stood up, holding her arms out to the caring boy that was missing the premiere to be there for her and make sure she was okay. Andre stood up and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her tight. Tori stood still for a minute, the hug giving her the illusion of being held together.
Moments later Beck appeared from behind them, walking slowly with his hands in his pockets. He scrunched up his face in a 'I don't really know what to tell you' fashion and shrugged his shoulders. Tori walked over to him and put her arms out once more, feeling the need of the group dynamic at the moment. She hugged Beck just as she had hugged Andre, then stepped back and waited for someone to speak.
"Well, are we gonna go catch the last couple acts?" Beck pointed a thumb behind him towards the auditorium.
"I think I'm gonna walk home. I need some time to get myself right, and some fresh air would do me good."
"You sure? Everyone's going to Nozu afterward. I can give you a ride home later."
"Thanks Andre, you've done enough already. I'll be fine, you guys go back to the premiere." Tori walked to her locker and opened, it, grabbing a dollar for the drink machine. She purchased a bottle of water and then headed back towards the door. "Hey Beck, where's Jade?"
"She's in her car sleeping. I told her I would drive her home after the premiere."
"Alright. Thanks for looking out for her. And can you tell my mom for me? That I'm headed home?"
"No problem."
Tori smiled, then headed up the stairs and out the front door. Beck and Andre exchanged a look of amazement, then smiled and headed back to the auditorium.
The parking lot was packed with cars, Tori's mom's car being out towards the road. She headed in the direction of her house, intent on taking it easy to give herself some time to breathe. As soon as she stepped out into the roadway, however, she made eye contact with Jade, sitting on the hood of her own car. Tori just looked away and kept walking, hearing the clap of feet hitting the ground behind her.
"Hey Tori, can I-"
"No Jade, I'm not in the mood."
"Tori I'm sorry." Jade's apology almost came out as a yell, sounding desperate and manic.
"You should be sorry." Tori had stopped walking, but was still angled in the direction of home, not making eye contact with Jade as she spoke.
"I am, I swear. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."
"So you really do feel that way, you just wish you could say it differently, is that it? Like emphasizing different words is going to change how it made me feel?"
"No. It's not that. It's...You have it so much more together than I do. I don't understand how you do it. It's like I have to struggle so much more than you to not fall apart, and I can't get anywhere close. I guess it makes me jealous."
"And because you're self-conscious you think you can lash out at me in front of our friends and I'll just forgive you because you think you have a harder time keeping it together than I do? Give me a break Jade."
"Tori, I really liked what we had going."
"Yeah Jade, so did I. But apparently, I liked it a little more than you did, which is why this is tearing me up so bad." Tori teared up again and clear lines of pain streaked her cheeks.
"What makes you think that?"
"I don't know Jade. I would think if you cared about our friendship as much as I did you wouldn't have done what you did tonight. It's my fault for trying so hard to get close to you. I should have let it develop naturally."
"Did? You mean you don't want to be friends with me anymore?"
"What I want and what's going to happen aren't always the same thing."
"Being with you is as easy as breathing. It's everything else in my life that's hard."
Tori was taken aback by Jade's comment, and she stuttered for words for a minute. Once she recomposed herself, she continued. "Well, I'm sorry you're finding it so difficult to find a balance. Our friendship was supposed to be based on trust and a mutual understanding. Lately it's been pretty one-sided, and I can't take it. I like you Jade, and your ping-pong style of being nice to me one night and ignoring me the next day is killing me. I can't subject myself to that anymore. I won't."
"You...like me? What does that mean?" Jade's heart hammered against her ribs, trying with a herculean attempt to tear through her front. She shook visibly and bit her nails, eyes not wavering from the beautiful woman in front of her.
"I don't know anymore. I used to think I had an idea of what could have been, but I was way wrong."
Tori turned back the way she was heading and started walking again, hands in her pockets and tears on her cheeks. Jade stayed rooted to the spot, feeling like screaming and crying and whatever else altogether. With all the pent-up aggression she had towards her dad, the stress her mom put on her by the constant reminder of how expensive her schooling was. The devastating blow of losing Tori. All of it was coming down, but it was so much that she didn't even burst, she just...stopped.
Tori pulled her PearPod out and put some earbuds in, making the walk a little easier to bear. The fast drums kept pace with her heartbeat, the frigid night air burning her cheeks.
So if you're gonna' stay, then how long would you wait for me before your love begins to fade?
I just can't spend all of my days in this place wasting away.
The words injected renewed vigor in her decision to tell Jade how she really felt. She wanted to be friends with Jade, but the back and forth was too much for her to handle. The feeling of being so elated and happy was always crushed by the feeling of being ignored and kept like a secret. Tori felt like her heart couldn't handle much more up and down action, so something had to give.
It took her about forty-five minutes to get home using shortcuts. Having finished her water and discarded the bottle within the first twenty minutes, she was parched. The brisk air bit at her throat and made it burn, drying it out and making it hard to swallow. She walked through the front door and went straight for the kitchen to get something to drink.
When Tori turned the lights on, she noticed an envelope on the table with a jewelry box next to it. The envelope wasn't sealed, so she grabbed it and pulled the paper out, reading the small note in one go.
Holly,
I know we have some things to work on, and I'm willing to start whenever you're ready. I hope you come around and remember how good we used to be. Until then, here's my wedding band. I'll get it back from you when I've earned it.
-David
Tori blinked and tears fell again, something she didn't want to get used to, but felt like she was going to have to. She put the envelope back in the note and noticed his house key was also at the bottom. Knowing that her dad wasn't coming back, Tori grabbed a desperately needed drink of water and dragged herself up to her bedroom. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she laid on her bed fully clothed and fell asleep.
Jade went back and sat on the hood of the car, shivering as the wind picked up. She stared at the ground, waiting patiently for Beck to come drive her home, even though she was sober as a judge and could drive herself. At least, that's what she thought after the sobering discussion with Tori. Risking a DUI would be stupid, especially if she got caught. Another reason for Tori to run away from her and never come back.
The never ending back and forth in Jade's head was making her headache even worse, so she got in the backseat of her car and laid down. Minutes later it seemed, she was being picked up in Beck's arms and carried to her house. She opened her eyes and saw the streetlights on, turning to see the side of her house as Beck headed for the front door. There were no other cars in the driveway, which caused her to breathe deeply, glad there wouldn't be a confrontation with her parents.
Beck unlocked the door and shut it gently behind him, continuing through the kitchen and down to Jade's room, laying her softly onto her bed. He pulled her boots off and set them next to the dresser, then grabbed Jade's upper body and slid her to the top of the bed, laying her head on the pillow. Jade just watched Beck as he operated, not saying anything. His features were soft, no air of annoyance at having to take care of her.
Beck slid the covers down and pulled them back up over Jade's body, tucking her in and rubbing her arms to generate some warmth and stop her shivering. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, running his fingers through her hair gently, staring into the pools of blue that looked at him with such confusion and pain. Jade closed her eyes and snuggled into her pillow, and the tears finally came.
Her body shuddered violently, though little sound came out. Beck laid a hand on her hip over the blankets and squeezed, trying to reassure her that everything would work itself out. After a few minutes she sniffled and took a deep breath that wheezed a little, making her cough.
"I'll go get you some water." Beck stood up from the bed and let his fingers drag down Jade's leg as his arm fell back to his side.
"You don't have to take care of me."
"I know I don't have to, but I'm going to, because you're my best friend."
Beck left the room to head to the kitchen, and Jade digested what he had just said. After all they'd been through, even with the messy jealousy on her part, he did know her better than anyone else. He was here in her time of need, and she didn't really know how much she underappreciated him until that moment. Beck walked back into the room with the bottle of water and some Aleve.
"Here, take this and get some rest. You'll feel better in the morning."
"Yeah, somehow I doubt that."
"She'll come around Jade. We all took a little getting used to your...charm, but look at our group now."
Jade made a face, feeling just as bad emotionally as she did physically. "It sucks to know that everyone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around you because you have a volatile temper."
"Well you can take comfort in the fact that we all take the risk because we care about you."
"I'm sorry things got so bad between us Beck. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."
"Shh, it's alright. None of that matters now, just lay back and sleep it off. We have the rest of our lives to talk about that if we need to."
Jade sunk back down into her comfortable spot, which was still a little damp from tears. Her arm was on top of the covers, and Beck took her hand in his. The feel of his strong, warm hands holding hers made Jade well up all over again, and before she knew it tears were falling back into the familiar crevice of her pillow.
"Will you stay with me? Just for a little bit?" Jade felt horrible for keeping him from his friends, but selfish as she could be, she needed someone, and Beck made her feel safe.
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here right now, until you don't need more anymore." He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, and tears continued to spill until she fell asleep.
Tori woke up early the next morning with a pounding headache. She had cried so much the night before that her voice was hoarse and her vision was blurry. Determined to not let Jade get to her anymore than she already had, Tori got up and headed for the shower. She undressed slowly, yawning in between removing each piece of clothing. The sleep she got wasn't very good, and it was definitely going to be a long day.
The hot water pulsing from the shower head did a lot of good. The jets massaged her neck, easing the headache and making it easier to stand up straight. Tori soaked up the steam, breathing deeply to try to cleanse herself of all the negativity that had come out of the last day or so. She was going to go to school and get on with life, as dwelling on things never got anyone anywhere.
Once she got out of the shower she flipped on the TV in her room, turning it to the local news to see what the weather was going to be like. Sunny but breezy meant jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, with high heeled boots and a dark jean jacket. She dressed one limb at a time, her blinks getting longer and longer until her eyes stayed closed.
There was still an hour until she had to be to school, so Tori went downstairs to make herself a decent breakfast. Bacon, eggs and orange juice sounded good, so she grabbed each ingredient and laid it on the counter behind her. The dishwasher hadn't been run so all of the plates were dirty, making Tori have to do a few dishes before she started cooking. Her mom had been working extra hours and Trina never did anything for anyone but herself, and Tori had let her responsibilities go as well, meaning the house had kind of fallen into disarray.
Tori turned the living room TV on so she could get the rest of the news while she finished up. Once the first batch of bacon was done, Tori heard her mom coming down the stairs, so she washed another plate in between flipping. The plates were sitting on the other side of the counter, and Tori's mom walked over to bring them to the kitchen table. She set the plates down and doubled back, getting glasses out of the cupboard for juice.
"Hey boo, thanks for making breakfast."
"Yeah, no problem."
"I came up to check on you last night when we got home from the play, but you were sleeping."
"Yeah, I had a rough night."
"I can see that, you look a little tired."
"Great, I hope I don't look as bad as I feel."
"Why don't you stay home today? I don't have to work, we can bunker down and watch some movies. Eat ice cream, make fun of boys."
Tori smiled at the word 'boys' as she forked the rest of the bacon onto the paper towel next to the stove, shutting off the burner and sliding the pan to the burner in the back. "Sounds great mom, but I think I need to go to school. If I'm gonna get over it and go back to normal I have to face it, not hide."
Tori's mom smiled with pride. "I'm proud of you baby girl."
"Thanks mom."
Tori finished up with the eggs and the two ate mostly in silence, listening to the stories from around their neighborhood. When Tori finished, she cleaned up the kitchen and started the dishwasher, then headed back upstairs to grab her stuff. She sprayed on perfume and grabbed her phone and keys, turning to check her hair in the mirror before heading out. She ran her fingers through it a couple times calling it good, then stalked off to the front door.
"Alright mom, I'm out of here."
"Have a good day sweetheart."
"I will. Love you."
"Love you too."
The day started as normal as any other. The drive was fine, and she found a decent spot to park in not too far from the door. As Tori was depositing things into her locker before first hour, Andre and Beck came up from the back entrance, eating pop tarts and laughing about something that had happened the night before.
"Hey Tor."
"'Sup chica?"
"Hey guys, what's so funny?"
Beck smiled wide. "Last night at Nozu, Robbie had sushi stuffed down his pants by a girl from North Ridge."
"What for?"
"Rex made a comment about her shirt being a little low cut and how he wished she would "move it move it." Andre laughed as he took another bite of his breakfast.
Tori shook her head with a smile on her face. "I don't know about that kid sometimes."
"Yeah, he's a little awkward sometimes."
"Sometimes?" Beck added, raising one eyebrow at Andre.
"Yeah well, you gotta give him some credit. Tor, walk with me to first hour?"
"Sure. Hey Beck, you hear from Jade?"
"I took her home last night and made sure she got in safe, but I haven't heard from her since. I don't think she's here. You want me to pass a message?"
"No, no. That's alright, I was just wondering. Thanks."
"No problem. You might get some weird stares and whispers today, people were talking about, uh, what they heard Jade say about you two."
"Great. Got it."
Beck waved and took off in the opposite direction for Film Study. Tori closed her locker, picking up her bag and turning to head for the R&B Vocals room with Andre. She looked around a little paranoid as people passed her. Some shot looks at her as she passed, others whispered behind hands. Tori didn't care about what they were saying really, but she wished she at least knew what it was.
Her classes went by slow and dull. She was sore, and still had a bit of a headache. The events of the night before kept playing over and over in her head, making it impossible to concentrate. A couple of times she was caught off guard staring out the window by a teacher, to which she responded the best she could and promised to pay better attention. Minutes later, though, she'd be doing the same thing.
Lunch time came and Tori headed out to the Grub Truck and got a chicken salad, returning indoors and headed towards Sikowitz' room. Beck had moved his chair up against the wall and stretched his legs out over a few chairs, learning back and listening to his PearPod. Robbie, Andre and Cat hadn't gotten there yet, and Jade wasn't at school, so it was just him and Tori.
"Hey Beck." Tori waved at him, thinking he wouldn't be able to hear her voice.
"Hey Tor" he said a little too loud, pausing his song and taking the earbuds out. "Where is everyone?"
"Not here yet I guess."
"Cool."
"Not eating today?"
"Not really hungry. I think Mrs. Lee gave me some bad sushi. I didn't feel good when I got up this morning, ate that poptart to try to settle my stomach and it just made it worse."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Thanks. So, uh, I know you probably don't want to talk about this, and it's cool if you don't, but uh, what's all this stuff with Jade? I mean, she's mean to you all the time, but last night seemed to be like the end all or something."
"Well, I know you heard what she said about my house being messed up like hers."
"Yeah, I didn't really want to pry." Beck put his PearPod in his pocket and leaned forward with his feet on the floor.
"Well, recently my dad left the house. Him and my mom had been arguing for a while, little things here and there that escalated over time. I'd hear them having hushed arguments in the kitchen when I was in my room, and they'd stop when I'd come down. Stuff like that. Then one night I went to go for a walk, heard my dad say...some other stuff, and then I snuck out the side door."
"I'm sorry to hear that Tori. Parents fighting is always rough to deal with, kinda hard to get away from."
Tori nodded. "Thanks. So I went for my walk, and in my hurry, forgot to stretch. Ended up getting a charlie horse and had to stop, happened to run into Jade at a coffee shop."
"I know the one, she goes there a lot."
"She offered to let me stay at her house, so I took her up on it. We ended up staying at eachother's places a few days in a row, getting to know each other and learning to be friends. I think the thing that we bonded on was so emotional and close to home that it escalated too fast, some lines got blurred, and we..."
"Kissed? It's okay Tori, you know none of us care about anything like that right?"
"Yeah I do, it's just...it felt so real. I mean, I felt like I went from zero to love in a matter of days."
Beck raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Do you love her?"
Tori panicked a little. "No, why would you say that?"
"You just said zero to love."
"I did? I meant, uh, like. A lot. You know, as friends."
As soon as Tori noticed her mishap, Cat and Andre came into the room, Robbie following close behind while looking up something on his PearPad. She exhaled a sigh of relief and dug into her salad before Beck could ask for any clarification. Cat sat next to her with a styrofoam bowl with watermelon in it, and Andre sat next to Beck with a piece of pizza. Robbie was standing next to the door, still tapping away at his screen.
"Dude, get that pizza out of my face, it's gonna make me chunk."
"Still not over that sushi yet?" Andre chuckled, moving to sit next to Cat.
"No, I think it's gonna make an appearance soon though."
Tori just shook her head in a 'boys will be boys' way and finished her lunch. The bell rang about ten minutes later, and the group gathered their things to head to class. Tori saw more stares and whispers in the hallway on her route to Screenwriting, but she charged forward with her head up, adamant in showing no fear. She reached the classroom and sat down, eyes immediately scanning Jades' empty desk.
The teacher walked in at her usual time and set her stuff down at her desk, turning to the whiteboard to write something down. Tori got out her notebook and prepared to take notes, setting her phone to silent and putting it in her bag. The teacher finished writing and put the marker down, stepping to the side so the students could read.
Acting Challenge I: Skit Material
"Alright class. We're going to be doing a new challenge. For this, I've split everyone up into groups of two. You and your partner will receive a skit from a classmate's screenplay, and you will be tasked with learning it and acting it out for me and that person. Every day after school I'll be working with a new group to see your skits until everyone's had a turn."
The teacher started going through the pairings while Tori wrote down the challenge parameters. She wondered what kind of skit she would get, and who she would be partnered with. As soon as the idea of a partner fully gestated in her mind, her heart leapt into her throat. It was the natural outcome in this situation that she would be paired with Jade, just to throw some salt on the wound.
"Vega, you are with West, and you'll be doing a scene from Patterson's screenplay. This Friday at 4:00, don't be late."
Tori closed her eyes slowly and squeezed them tight. She dug out her phone and grudgingly texted Jade.
We're partners in Screenwriting. We have to act a scene from Jake Patterson's story. Friday at 4:00. -Tori
Jade finally woke up around noon, wiping the sleep out of her eyes and yawning. Her body was so sore she could barely move. Her mouth tasted awful, and she had heartburn that felt like she was going to throw up battery acid. Her head pounded and the world still wasn't quite done spinning, so when she tried to stand up, she ended up throwing up on the floor. A few minutes later, Jade made it to the bathroom, first brushing her teeth and rinsing to get the taste out.
Once she'd dried her face, she grabbed a towel and some carpet cleaner out from under the bathroom sink to clean up the mess. It was gross, but she'd gotten pretty much everything in her stomach out, so there was no danger of throwing up again. Once it was all cleaned up, she just threw the towel in the trash and headed for the shower.
The warm water helped sober her up a little, so when Jade got out and dried off, she felt better. The prospect of having to row with her mom again in the evening about why she didn't go to school didn't sound very appealing, but it was an unfortunately necessary side effect of skipping. The weather looked decent, but Jade knew better than to just judge by looks. She walked over to the window and opened it, feeling the sharp breeze instantly. Closing the window, she walked over to her dresser, picked out a dark red long sleeve shirt and some soft comfy pants of the same color, with a plain black hoodie over top.
Not really sure what to do with herself, Jade checked her phone to see if she had missed anything interesting. She saw one text message, from Tori. She did a double take and opened the message as fast as she could. When she realized she would be working closely with Tori for this project, it freaked her out. Tori was still mad, and she wanted to be prepared to go in and try to disarm her, and hopefully repair their friendship.
Jade decided to try and reflect a bit, see if there was a way she could be like Tori and fit in without having to lash out at people. She knew that a lot of her insecurity came from her parents not being very supportive, and thinking of how they never seemed to be around for her big moments weighed heavy on her chest.
Jade reached under her bed and pulled out a shoebox filled with old photos and other memories. Images from a simpler time when her family wasn't so high strung. The first photo she picked up was of her being pushed on the swings by her dad. She had a smile for miles and her dad looked happier than she'd remember seeing him since probably that very day. The picture made her smile again, reminiscent of her younger self. She wished those times hadn't gone, when her parents seemed happy with each other and weren't so disappointed in their daughter.
The next photo was all three of them, taken by a kind bystander. They were at a Freezy Queen eating ice cream, and Jade's mom had dabbed some on the end of Jade's nose with her spoon. Her dad was laughing hysterically, and Jade looked like she was trying to steal some of his ice cream. The pictures pulled at dormant heart strings, warming her insides, but it wasn't long before the warmth dissipated into regret. Her eyes felt heavy with tears, and the memories of a time long lost echoed out into the void.
She trudged through, spending hours looking through the old photos, postcards and letters from family members. Some from relatives that lived across the country, others that had passed away. Jade had been looking at a photo of her and her cousins at the Fairgrounds when they were kids, watching hot air balloons lift off. She didn't even realize it when her mother entered her room, standing by the door watching.
"Jade."
Jade jumped and dropped the photo. "Oh, hey."
"You missed school again today."
"I know."
"You know? What the hell does that mean 'you know?'"
"I...screwed up, mom. I screwed up."
"I don't understand."
"I bought a bottle of whiskey and used it to try to shut my brain up for a little while. I had a lot of shit going through my head and it was hard to concentrate. I needed to get away for a little bit."
Jade's mom looked hard into Jade's eyes, waiting for her to continue.
"Sikowitz had a new production that premiered last night."
"I'm aware, I saw the posters. What does that have to do with you drinking?"
"I didn't even bother to try out for any parts because I knew that even if I got the role, neither you or dad would show up to support me. Do you know how bad it feels to be so passionate about something and have parents that don't care at all?"
"You think we don't care about you?" Jade's mom walked into her daughter's room and took a seat in the desk chair next to the bed. "Jade, your father and I love you. We always have, and we always will. This is Hollywood. You can look out your window right now and at least 75% of the people you see are all aspiring actors. People that have been in your position right now, a teenager with a dream. But do you see them now? Half of them are barely scraping by waiting tables and walking dogs, or playing music for spare change. We don't want that life for you."
"I understand that, but you're my parents. You're supposed to support me no matter what I want to do. I mean, you're paying for me to go to Hollywood Arts, so you must care a little bit, or you would just force me to go to North Ridge."
"We were afraid that if we tried to force you to North Ridge you would drop out of school completely to spite us, and that's the last thing we want."
Jade got the hidden meaning from the words that weren't said, and it made her feel even worse. "You don't have any faith in me at all, do you mom?"
"Jade, we just want you to be practical. You're taking so many showbiz related classes and nothing more than your basic cores. At least take an advanced Math class or something technological. You need a contingency."
"No, mom. What I need, is my parents to back me up."
Jade's mom sighed and looked out the window, not saying anything.
"In our Screenwriting class, everyone has been working on a short screenplay, no longer than 50 pages. Our project right now is groups of two have to act out a skit from someone's screenplay. It's not until Friday afternoon, but you should come. Actually see what your money pays for for once."
"I don't know Jade, I'm really busy during the days. We have a lot of clients and accounts that need special detail."
The swift kick of disappointment hit her square in the gut. "Nah it's okay, I shouldn't have asked. I know how it is."
Jade hung her head and started putting the pictures away. She grabbed the one at the Freezy Queen and reached over her body to put it back in the box, but her mom reached a hand forward and grabbed it. Jade stopped and watched her mom as she looked over the picture carefully, studying each person's face like she was afraid she would forget what they looked like. A smile curled up the corner of her mom's mouth, and she handed the photo back to Jade wordlessly, getting up and heading out of the room.
Tori headed home after school, upset about the new project. She didn't hate Jade by any means, she was just still hurt and didn't want to have to deal with the unsettled awkwardness while trying to do schoolwork. The prospect of having to go to Jade's house or having her come over felt daunting, and Tori didn't like feeling that way. There was still a very raw part of her that had been exposed by Jade, and the burning in her chest to explore that area hadn't gone away.
Tori walked through the front door and found her mom baking in the kitchen. There were plates of cookies all over the counter. Chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin and snickerdoodles, and something else was coming out of the oven. Her mom laid a plate of brownies next to the chocolate chip cookies, smiling at Tori as she crossed into the kitchen.
"Hey mom, what's all this?"
"I had some free time, realized I haven't done any baking in a while. Put some music on and decided to keep myself busy."
"Well that's good, it smells amazing in here."
"These ones are still warm, come get one."
Tori walked to the other end of the counter and grabbed a fresh out of the oven snickerdoodle. It practically broke apart when she bit it, and the cinnamon sugar taste was a welcoming escape. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sweetness, taking pleasure in something simple for once. She finished the other couple bites and looked back to her mom, who was smiling and rearranging plates to make room.
"Mom, that was delicious. You're incredible."
"Ah yes, and incredible people make incredible babies."
Tori's mom winked at her and went back to baking. Tori headed upstairs to sort out her homework and decide how she was going to do this thing with Jade. She had picked up a copy of the scene they were doing from Jake's screenplay and looked it over, getting an idea of what she was in for. The story was about two friends that went off to war together. One of the friends died, so the one that lived took care of his family when he got home. Tori immediately saw some possible complications with the script, but knew she would have no choice but to go along with it.
The breeze picked up outside, making the trees sway back and forth and a soft whistling sound come through Tori's window. She walked over and pushed down hard on the top of the window, silencing the whistle. On the return to her bed, she heard the doorbell ring. A minute later, Andre knocked on her bedroom door, stepping through it slowly.
"Hey girl, just came to check on you."
Tori smiled at her best friend. "You didn't have to come all the way over here, you could have just called."
"Yeah, but phone calls are so impersonal. Besides, I can't see you on the phone." He walked up and gave Tori a hug, squeezing his arms around her shoulders. "Whatcha got goin' on?"
"Screenwriting project. Some acting that I have to do with Jade on Friday."
"I see. I'm sure it'll be painless, you're both good actresses."
Tori grimaced. "Thanks, we'll see I guess."
"Alright, I'm headed to the mall. Just wanted to make sure my girl was workin' on puttin' that pep back in her step." Andre put his dukes up and play-boxed Tori's shoulder.
Tori smiled and laughed a bit. "Yeah, I'm working on it. What's at the mall?"
"Grabbin' some new records for my DJ setup."
"Cool. Have fun."
"Always. Call me if you need anything."
Andre winked at Tori and walked back downstairs. Tori heard the front door shut and huffed out a breath. She would have to call Jade sooner or later to practice their performance, and figured the sooner the better, so she grabbed her phone and dialed Jade's number.
"Jade."
"Oh...hey Tori."
"We gotta start practicing for this Screenwriting thing."
"Oh..."
"Why don't you come over here? My mom's been baking all day and Trina's not here, so it's quiet and smells delicious." Tori swore she could hear Jade's smile over the phone.
"Sure, when do you want me to be there?"
"Um, now I suppose."
"Okay, I'll be there in a few, I just gotta finish putting some stuff away."
"Alright, see you in a few."
"Bye."
Tori hung up and headed downstairs to let her mom know that Jade was on her way. When she got to the middle of the staircase, she heard her mom talking in hushed tones, so she slowed down to listen. She sounded upset, snapping quickly with shallow breathing. Tori snuck down a few more steps so she could see into the kitchen.
"No Gary, it's not a good time. I told you, we can't do this anymore. You know that's not true. Yes I did, and that's part of the reason why."
The broken conversation was a little confusing at first, but Tori realized who her mom was talking to, and what they were talking about. She felt her stomach roll over onto itself, and it made her feel nauseous. She walked down to the bottom of the steps and coughed into her fist, announcing her presence so her mom wouldn't say anything in front of her that she'd regret.
"I gotta go." Tori's mom hung up the phone and set it on the counter.
"Hey mom. Jade's stopping by, we gotta rehearse this thing."
"You okay? You still seem a little upset by the whole thing from yesterday."
"I am, but you gotta do what you gotta do."
"That's my girl."
Tori's mom took another pan out of the oven, fresh banana bread. The smell hit Tori's nose and instantly made her smile, since banana bread was one of her favorites. She walked to the counter and hovered over the bread pan, reveling in the scent. Her mom laughed and jolted the pan up and down quickly to unstick the bread from the bottom, then turned it over onto a plate.
Tori sat at the island and tried a chocolate chip cookie. They were still warm for the most part, so the chocolate chips melted on her tongue. She savored the silky texture, smiling when her mom sat a small glass of milk on the counter in front of her. She finished the cookie and washed it down in one go, resting a hand on her stomach.
The doorbell rang, and Tori took a deep breath, standing up to go answer it. She pulled the door open and saw Jade standing in front of her, bashful and almost intimidated. Jade stared down at the ground, holding one strap of her bag over her shoulder. She glanced up once, just quick enough to make eye contact and squeak out a smile, then looked back down.
Her outfit looked soft and clung to her curves, showing off her womanly figure. Her hips rounded off nicely, and the shirt she was wearing showed off the perkiness of her breasts. Tori couldn't help but stare her up and down, focusing on certain areas that caught her breath and ignited the heat in her center. She made one more sweep up and caught Jade's eyes watching her curiously. Tori snapped back to attention and stepped aside, waving Jade inside.
Jade walked into the familiar house, the scent of sweets hitting her nose right off the bat. She waved at Tori's mom, watching as she arranged all of the sweets on to plates. Tori closed the door softly and stood next to Jade, swinging her arms at her sides nervously. The two girls looked at each other and smiled quickly, the tension growing quickly.
"Well I guess we should get started" Jade said, turning to Tori for directions on where to go.
"Okay. Mom, we'll be upstairs."
"Alright, you two have fun."
Jade followed behind Tori as she was led up the stairs and into Tori's room. It smelled like cinnamon and Tori's vanilla perfume, making Jade salivate. The beautiful tan girl was always alluring, but the added sensory pleasures and the uncertainty of the situation made Jade's heart beat fast with excitement and fear. She traced the sides of Tori's legs as they walked, following her silky thighs up to perfectly round backside. Tori stopped and turned to face Jade, catching Jade's eyes on her body. It took every single ounce of self-control she had to repress her smile, but she did so successfully.
"Okay, so what is this story about?" Jade asked, sitting on the edge of Tori's bed. Tori looked at her and she thought better of it, standing up again and walking over to the dresser, sitting against it on the floor.
"A couple guys go off to war together, one of them dies, the other makes it home and takes care of his friend's family."
"Sounds sweet. Who are the characters?"
"For this scene it's the guy who survived and his friend's wife. They've gotten close and he's fallen in love with her, but she is conflicted because he reminds her so much of her dead husband."
"Complicated. I like it."
"I guess I'll play the soldier, you can be the wife. That okay?"
"Sure, if that's what you want."
Tori grabbed a fake mustache she had in her jewelry box from a couple Halloweens ago and put it on. Jade smiled when Tori turned around, moving her mouth so it twitched up and down on the corners. Jade took her hoodie off and ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing it down over her shoulders. The scent of Pomegranate hit Tori's nose about the same time she noticed how big Jade's bust really was without something covering it, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise. Jade smiled and straightened out her sleeves, pulling her shirt down and getting situated to get into character. Tori watched as the woman in front of her poked and prodded herself, seeing past the outside and into a glimpse of her personal security. She figured Jade must have been pretty confident in herself, but afraid to show it since her parents weren't very encouraging.
"Okay, I'm ready." Jade took deep calming breaths and waited for Tori to get situated.
"Alright, here's your copy." Tori handed Jade her copy of the script, open to where they were starting.
Tori tied her hair back in a tight bun so it couldn't be seen, giving the best illusion she could muster of a buzz cut. She tucked her shirt in and stood up straight and proper like a soldier would, legs together and eyes up. "Alright, I'm ready. Let's do this." Tori opened an imaginary door and walked forward, shutting it behind her.
"Hey there Sarge" Jade greeted as Mrs. Maria Miller, widow of Gunnery Sargent Jackson Miller of the United States Marine Corps.
"Ma'am" Tori took off and held an imaginary hat, responding as Staff Sargent Nicholas Dobschensky, also of the United States Marine Corps. "I came to thank you for the care package you sent me. That was very kind of you."
"Well you are welcome. I know how crazy your schedule can get with new recruits coming in, so I figured you didn't have time to pick up anything."
"That's correct, I have been very busy lately."
"You don't come by like you used to Nick, I miss having you around."
Tori looked at Jade with the slightest hint of curiosity, wondering if that was Mrs. Miller or Jade saying that.
"Things have been kind of...confusing for me lately, Maria." Tori pulled out her desk chair and sat down, scooting into an imaginary coffee table. "I mean, it's been a year now. I know that's not very long, but I thought we had a good thing goin' here. We like each other, right?" Tori looked Jade right in the eyes as she spoke.
Jade's heartbeat quickened and the words on the page seemed to vibrate. "Yes we do, but you just remind me so much of him that it's hard to close out that part of my life when I see him in you."
"This back and forth thing can't go on Maria." Tori stood up and paced around her room. "It's tearin' me up inside. I'm losing concentration at work. The men can see it in me. I don't want their trust to waver because they think I'm not at the top of my game. And right now, I'm not at the top of my game."
Jade looked down at the imaginary table and pursed her lips. "I know you don't deserve this Nick" she added, walking over and putting her hands-on Tori's shoulders. "I'm trying the best I can to work myself out and be a better person for you. I can't change in a day, but I'm sure as hell trying." Tears formed in Jade's eyes, projecting how she really felt a little too much into the character.
Tori fidgeted a little and looked away from Jade's eyes. "I know you're trying, and I'm trying to give you as much time as I can, but it still hurts."
She looked back into Jade's eyes and put her hands-on Jade's hips. Jade leaned forward, closing the gap between them excruciatingly slowly until the two women were nose to nose, breathing in each other's scent. Tori shook from head to toe with anticipation, and Jade could feel her hands shaking against her hips. Jade made a bee line and pressed her lips on Tori's so gently she could barely feel it, still as a painting. Tori didn't move, so Jade pressed harder, pecking once and moving back to her original spot.
Tori blinked once, twice, then finally started breathing again. The same electricity she felt from the first kiss coursed through her veins, making every inch of her body tingle, heat spreading from her center up into her stomach. She wanted so badly to press forward and take Jade. Lay her down, straddle her and really put some effort into it. Jade's ocean blue eyes bored straight into her soul, which made Tori's next move one of the hardest things she'd ever done.
Tori put both hands flat on Jade's stomach and pushed gently, taking a step back herself. Her legs were so weak she could barely stand, but the resolve in her heart was still strong. She needed to give Jade more time to truly figure out what she wanted, and then the two of them had to start from the beginning and take it slow. Jade looked disappointed as she turned and put the script into purse, picking it up off the floor.
"That was...great Tori. You're really talented."
"So are you Jade, you really helped me get into character."
Jade nodded and smiled while her insides felt like they were on fire. "I should probably go now. I don't want to take up any more of your time than I need to."
"Jade, we're still friends. I don't want you to think that it's an act of Congress for me to be doing this with you right now. I just thought it would be easier for both of us if we got some space for a while. We were hanging out a lot and it was just too much too fast."
"Yeah, I get it. I'm working on it, I promise."
Tori looked at the beautiful, broken woman standing in front of her. Jade's eyes looked pained, but still sparkled brighter than anything Tori had ever seen. "I believe you."
"I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"Okay. Drive safe."
As soon as Jade left the room, Tori crawled onto her bed and laid flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. She could barely keep her breathing under control and her skin felt like she was burning from the inside out. Her face would definitely be flushed in the mirror, and sweat beaded on the back of her neck. She gathered her hair and moved it to the side, the coolness of the pillow on her neck sending shivers down her spine. Her whole body tingled, and when the shiver hit her lower body, she felt the throbbing between her legs, involuntarily bucking her hips. Tori squeezed her thighs together hard, trying to ignore the heat and wetness. She cupped one of her breasts and squeezed it, biting down hard on her lip, and just when she was about to give in to the pressure, she heard voices coming up the stairs.