Writer's Note: Edited 6/20/19! 3

Everything was quiet. Sam's breathing and the soft yellow light from the lamp in the corner of the room made everything warm and relaxed. Dean's arms were folded across his chest, his back propped against the headboard, head tilted back and eyes closed. He was dozing above the sheets while his little brother continued to sleep under them.

Since Cas's touch, Sam was doing better - breathing better at least. He'd fallen asleep almost immediately and hadn't so much as twitched since. Dean relished the down time and worked on clearing his mind to settle his nerves.

"Dean?" Cas's tentative voice hung in the air. Dean kept his eyes closed but raised his eyebrows.

"Mm?"

"I brought sandwiches."

Dean's eyes opened to see the angel a couple feet away holding food-laden plates. He peered over and spied roast beef and a BLT.

"Seriously?" Dean asked gratefully, reaching out. Cas gave a small half-smile and nodded.

"Yes," he replied firmly, handing them over to Dean who picked up the BLT and weighed it in his hands.

"How is Sam?" Cas asked right as Dean took a huge bite. Dean nodded, acknowledging the question, and put a finger up so he could chew and swallow. Cas bowed his head with understanding and fixed his gaze on Sam in the meantime.

Dean followed Cas's line of sight. He loathed this emerging pattern of consistent crises and valued any moment Sam could have without pain. Moments like now. But Dean had to admit he felt better when Sam was awake talking to him, visibly cognizant.

With Cas's inquiry as an excuse, Dean reached over to rub his brother's shoulder, hoping he'd wake Sam up in the process.

No dice. Sam was out like a light. Dean sighed and brushed his little brother's oily hair back. The kid needed to take a shower soon which now that Dean thought about it, probably meant he would have to give Sam a bath soon. It had been several days since Sam had the strength to take a shower on his own. Sam must be relatively filthy by now. Dean had been changing the sheets and giving Sam clean clothes to change into but his hair was greasy and he was starting to break out, red pimples standing out against his gaunt pallor. Sam's stubble had grown out in patches, his nails were dirty from scratching dead skin off his body either during or after sweating so much...

Dean huffed a soft chuckle at the nastiness. He'd hoped Sam would get his strength back before he'd have to do anything. He was betting that's why Sam hadn't mentioned anything either... but they were kind of coming down to the wire now.

Dean leaned down a second to see if Sam smelled bad too.

"Dean?" Cas prompted, curious. Dean laughed through a long exhale: Sam was rank. He took another bite of his sandwich and looked at Cas.

"He is doing better, yes?" Cas asked sincerely. Dean nodded, his mouth full again, then shrugged, turning to stare down at the kid. Cas nodded back solemnly.

"I'm very happy to hear that," he stated.

Dean pressed his lips together. Staring at his peacefully sleeping brother, he let his thoughts move on to the memory of when he'd last seen Cas: in a crypt gripping a tablet in one hand, a trenchcoat sleeve in the other, beaten and bloody on his knees and begging.

"I'm sure," Dean replied flatly before taking another bite. The silence persisted. Finally after Dean had taken several bites, he ran out of patience. "So where you been?" He asked, his tone falsely casual.

Cas's eyes fell to the floor. Dean's eyes narrowed at the angel's guilty posture. Cas sighed, steeling himself, and gazed directly into Dean's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I had to keep the tablet safe... from everyone. When I touched it, it broke me from Naomi's control. It was-"

"Save it," Dean interrupted. He could hear about it later.

"Dean, I-"

"Cas," Dean broke in again, his expression pleading, "really, don't... I'm not interested."

"Do you trust me?" He asked gravely. Dean snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Do I have a choice?" Dean asked, gesturing to his brother and the BLT before he took another bite.

"If you don't want me here Dean, I will go," Cas offered seriously.

Dean glanced up at Cas, then back down to the bed - to Sam - as he chewed.

Every instinct told him to kick the angel out after what he'd done. Every instinct except for one.

Cas could heal Sam, or at least alleviate his pain.

"No," Dean sighed. "Please stay." His voice was flat and tired but honest.

"For Sam," Cas clarified. It was a statement, not a question. Dean gave Cas a withering look and slowly nodded. "I will stay and do my best for him, Dean," Cas promised. Dean made sure to close his eyes before he rolled them.

"Okay Cas."

...

Sam stirred to the sound of water pouring into a basin and felt a wet cloth sweeping over and under his arm with warm water. Dean was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed leaning over Sam while he worked. He was humming Metallica. Sam looked further to spot the basin resting at the foot of the bed, sloshing back and forth a little bit according to Dean's movements.

Sam was about to open his eyes and say something but when Dean reached his hands, Sam lost the motivation, falling into relaxed bliss and secretly letting his brother get on with it. It felt wonderful as Dean slid the cloth around his wrist, his palm, up and down and between each finger. He'd been so terrified when he'd lost the use of his limbs and now he could feel every careful brush, every stream of heated water that coursed over his hands.

Dean stopped, busy doing something else. Sam wanted to mumble for Dean to keep going but held back because it'd give it away he was awake. Dean grabbed the basin and moved up. Sam cracked sore eyes open with curiosity and realized Dean had angled his back to him. The water rippled gently; Sam could tell Dean was soaking the wash cloth again. When Dean resumed, he stayed where he was with his back to Sam and started using the edges of the cloth to get under Sam's fingernails. Sam had to take a few seconds to let that sink in before accidentally letting out a breathy laugh.

"Wha you givin' me a man'cure," Sam mumbled, his voice scratchy and raw.

"'Cause you're gross," Dean replied, not missing a beat.

"How j'you know I 'as 'wake?" Sam watched Dean's back shrug.

"I got skills," Dean bantered.

"Yeah's a cos...mo...'tlogist," Sam quipped back groggily. Dean finished Sam's final finger.

"Nah," he breathed, turning around to face Sam, "never was big on astronomy," he leaned over Sam and felt his forehead while Sam managed a ragged chuckle.

"S'not... I said cosme-TAH-logy nah cos-MAH-logy," Sam replied goofily.

"I know, I know what you said," Dean replied calmly with a relaxed smile. He felt along Sam's face and neck and the smile lessened as he felt heat. Sam's eyes wandered to the bedspread and gave a couple more breathy chuckles before launching into a cough.

"Okay, okay," Dean whispered softly, getting up into a kneeling position beside Sam so he could pull him up against the headboard. Sam hunched forward and held on to Dean's arm as he rode the cough out. Dean braced him and rubbed his back.

"Anything coming out? Blood?" Dean asked over him, his voice clear and direct. Sam managed to shake his head. "All right. That's good, Sammy. Just hold on. It'll be over soon," Dean murmured, feeling the cough wracking through his little brother as he held him steady.

The fit receded. Dean pulled Sam's hair back, kept it pinned with his hand.

"Okay how you doing? You okay?"

Sam didn't respond, instead just running shallow breaths so he wouldn't start coughing again.

"Try swallowing Sammy," Dean suggested and was pleased to see Sam could do it. At the end of the swallow Sam made an "uh" sound through quick inhales. "Okay now slow it down," Dean instructed. Sam nodded and tried. "Okay, you're doing great, Sammy," he coached and watched a small deprecating smile flicker through Sam's expression.

"M'okay now I think," Sam said weakly. He gave Dean's arm a pat. Dean withdrew.

"Yeah?"

Sam swallowed again and nodded as he straightened up.

"Yeah," he confirmed, leaning back against the headboard. Dean gave his brother space, let him put himself together.

Sam blinked and rubbed his eyes, clearing the sleep and stale tears in focused silence. He was wrapping up when Dean hazarded his next question.

"So your breathing's still an issue. Otherwise, how you feeling?"

Sam dropped his hands in his lap.

"Shitty," Sam sniffed. Dean smiled patiently.

"Fair enough. But I need more to go on. You hungry?" Sam made a face and shook his head. "Thirsty?"

Sam continued to shake his head, this time more slowly though. His eyelids drooped to half-mast.

"Fatigue. M'tired," Sam said.

"Still?"

"Yeah."

"Okay you need help getting down?" Dean asked. Sam shook his head and slowly, sorely moved down to put his head on the pillow. When he was settled Dean pulled the blankets up over him. He patted Sam's chest.

"Get some sleep."

"Mm."

Dean leaned over to grab a book on the nightstand and propped himself up against the headboard, his hip near Sam's head on his pillow. Sam licked his lips and let his thoughts wander.

"Oh shit," Sam piped up loudly, turning on his side to face his brother. Dean's eyes darted to Sam's.

"What?"

"Was Cas here?!" Sam blurted. Dean relaxed and gave an exaggerated shrug.

"Yup."

"Wha... So what happened?"

Dean sighed and closed his book.

"He, uh... he got you breathing better. Put you out for the count so you could sleep," Dean said, sounding like he was going to say more but instead just stopped there. Sam's eyes narrowed and shook his head slightly.

"Is he still here?"

Dean bit his lip and gave Sam a long-suffering look.

"Yeah."

"After what he did to you? You're... you're just letting him-"

"Hey, calm down," Dean interrupted, annoyed. Sam did as he was told but his eyes still demanded answers.

"Listen. He can help us right now," Dean said. He paused to give his little brother a meaningful look. "S'all I care about right now," he murmured, opening the book again.

Sam let out a resigned sigh. "Okay." A couple minutes later he whispered "thank you" to Dean and hoped his brother heard it even though he pretended he hadn't.

Writer's Note: Thank you so so much for reading - please leave a comment/review (and vote!) if you can spare the time! 3